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pkn episode 230 kyle was about to tell us about his run you know normally i don't
get too involved in video game talk it's something that i just sort of like you know
wait for the other side of something about the rust talk has me more engaged i think it's the
like it's not just like hey we played a 20 minute game last night it's the fact that you're engaged
in an ongoing campaign yes it's a war and k Kyle's like a natural storyteller with these games.
Like there will be games that I independently would have no interest in.
And he'll be like, and there we were.
Five hours in.
60 meters outside a rival's base.
I thought we were screwed.
But Middy, Middy had a plan.
Just little things like that.
And I'm sitting there like, oh, well, what was the plan?
Dude, we have, I think Conor McGregor has that little saying.
Maybe he stole it from someone else.
He's like, we're not here to take part.
We're here to take over.
So let me lead with this.
Last time you put out a call on both PKN and PKA looking for a few good men.
How did that go?
I got a couple of good hardworking fellas.
My gain is high.
Yeah. Have you had to cut any
slaves for laziness or ineptitude one two three one two three i think so you're maybe in between
okay yeah um uh i saw some people be like who would want to be a slave i can't believe and
then and then like dozens of people like me i want to be a slave
because the slave is it's like you're being initiated into a gang right like like before
we patch you in you got to put in some dirty work first you know and and the fruits of your labor
will be there waiting for you once you get patched into the club you know like we're not just blowing
your resources willy-nilly we're saving yeah them. Patched in. Yeah, we want to patch you in.
We want you to get your tattoo and everything.
We're all tatted up now.
And so, yeah, we've been playing on this server.
So you just make him collect sulfur for like 10 hours,
and then you all get naked and molest him,
and then he's part of the team.
Exactly.
That's exactly how it goes.
I got this guy named Larry.
They were already naked, Taylor.
Larry will appreciate the shout-out, I'm sure.
He says that we're his favorite podcast and he can relate to us.
Larry the Strong, which – and I like Larry.
He's got a good personality.
He's kind of a funny guy.
You'll have a normal conversation with him.
He's clearly a grown man, 25 to 35, something like that.
And he'll agree to whatever we're talking about,
and he'll go to leave to do whatever we've asked him asked him to do and he'll go as he's running away like in game chat like
like and i'm just like did did he just make like a slurpy noise and middy's like i think that was
him and he's had you and i'm like every time every time he like runs away in game chat you like you
know you hope that you talk it's a push to talk
in the game. Now we're in Discord with him
and I don't hear it quite as much.
So we've taken over
a big section of this server.
Through our hard work
and our combined efforts, we got to C4
Plastic Explosive, which allows us to
blow into people's bases very quickly.
This is the same
server you were doing last year.
No, we're in a whole new server now.
And we're going to switch to a whole new server on Thursday
when the wipe happens.
The wipe is when they clean the board.
They take all the pieces off the board,
and it's time to start again.
So everyone in there is going to be naked,
completely naked, rock and torch.
And I like to start from a fresh wipe
because I have the resources of my my friends and
colleagues and and their knowledge um to really get me ahead i feel like we've got a big advantage
over someone who's playing by themselves because there's five six seven eight of us working hard
coordinated uh and getting stuff done and so that's happening Thursday. But yeah, for now, we've taken over our quadrant of the map,
a large section of the map.
We are feared far and wide,
and we are revered far and wide as well.
What's your clan name?
We didn't go there.
If there is an ability to name it,
please go with Really Sweet kids or something like that.
That we did that actually not take it back.
There is a lot of really sweet kid, like spray painted around and stuff like that.
I do see that on, on a lot of our bases.
We've got so many bases now.
Like it's not that we have one base.
I have, I have five bases, um, at this point that are, that are kind of mine and or Middy's.
And two of them are trap bases.
And what a trap base is, it's a lure.
The doors are left open.
There might even be an enticing sign painted out front that says,
left the server, enjoy.
Something like that.
And you walk up and the trap is completely invisible.
Even the most cautious of victim can't see it it's literally invisible it's hidden beneath the floorboards
but you walk in it explodes you fall into a pit you're dead instantly and we hear it go off so we
just come over and i'm like oh another rat in the trap let me go clean let me go clear it out and
reset and you go down to the pit you take all all those things put it in a box reset the trap and just leave again and just rinse and repeat all day long
But we've also been rating people so like
Taking what it however much plastic explosive it takes to get in their base
you can kind of examine a base and determine exactly how many it'll take and
Just blowing the shit out of their base going and stealing all their things taking them back to base and rinsing and repeating we we took seven or eight bases yesterday um pretty much every
neighbor we had at this point we got to travel pretty far to find someone to kill um but then
at the same time i'm very nice to all the naked kids the like you'll see him in the chat kyle is
the nicest man on the face of the earth that was something someone wrote today because i gave him
a bunch of free shit because i got so much shit we started out organized we had like the walls lined with shelves
with crates on the shelves at this point we just got boxes on the floor the floor is just boxes
there's just boxes everywhere full of shit there's not we have duplicates of everything there is to
have in the game there's there's no now we're not afraid of losing our things when we go out and
fight because that's a real fear early on.
If you've got one gun, if we have one gun and you go out and lose that one gun,
it's like, shit, now we're back to bows.
But at this point, we've just got infinite ammo, essentially,
and infinite guns and the ability to make infinite guns.
So are the real sweet kids right now, like it's already slotted probably,
like, all right, as soon as that wipe happens, we're all hopping on exactly then
because we need to get a leg up on everybody immediately essentially yeah yeah that we've
we've told everyone that we haven't picked out the exact server yet but we're already planning like
what the base is going to look like how it's going to be designed um uh and i'm still recruiting
players i still have to go through a bunch of the steam messages i have because i have several
hundred of them are you switching to a bigger or no, six is as large as it gets, right?
Currently we're playing in a duo server.
So it's teams of two.
And so we don't team
up together as like a big squad
of eight and go after duos.
But we do have a community, like a neighborhood
watch established. So if someone comes and they
try to pick on me, well
my neighbor's of course going to come outside
and gun that person down.
It's not that we're on a team.
It's just that we have friendly neighbors.
I have friendly neighbors that I've never met before.
There's a guy that lives next to us named Noice.
N-O-I-C-E.
Noice.
He said, oh, I'm Noice, and I'm Noice.
And I'm like, ah, okay, nice to meet you, Noice.
And, you know, if he hears gunshots,
he comes out and kills the people.
Are any of the Neighborhood Watch members a little too, you know, he hears gunshots he comes out and kills the people are any of the neighborhood watch members a little too you know cruel too aggressive and he's george zimmerman's on your
hands i absolutely have some george zimmerman's on my hands but i don't mind it because you never
know when that naked guy is just scouting you out he needs to know that he'll get put in his
place if he comes back around there uh last night, last night, we got,
Midian and I got into a gunfight with some people
and he's sniping
and I'm rushing with an MP5
and they kill me
and they take my MP5
and we're like,
no way.
I have four MP5s
but I like that one.
So we chase them back to their base
and they go in
and they hide in their little base
and I'm outside
and I'm like,
you can literally knock on the door
in this game
and it goes,
knock, knock, knock, knock. And I'm like, knock literally knock on the door in this game and it goes and I'm like I want my mp5 back we could do this the easy way
you just come out naked with nothing but the mp5 I won't kill you I'll take the mp5 you'll lose
nothing and we'll be on our way or I can send my friend back to base and we'll come back with
enough boom boom to make this thing a hovel.
Dead silence.
Nothing.
I'm like, all right, Middy, go get it.
Middy runs back to base. He comes back with a bunch of C4 and we're dook dook, dook dook.
One door blown off.
Dook dook, dook dook.
Two doors blown off.
Then his buddy comes out of nowhere and kills Middy from behind us.
So I gun that fucking guy down and I sneak around.
The guy jumps out of the base. I
gun him down, but you respawn kind of fast. So they just keep coming. So by the time it's all
said and done, I've killed seven of them. Midi's killed three of them. And we've just got a pile
of loot there. And every time they come back to us, they're less and less geared because you only
have so much gear. At first you see a a guy he's got an ak-47 and full
plate armor and he looks like a fucking something out of mad max right like one of the the head
villains of mad max he's the guns the the gun guy or whatever like double machine guns or something
by the end they're coming at you with bows and they're naked and and it's it's just fun to just
gun them down but we blew their base till there was nothing left. And he's complaining in the chat that we're bullying him.
And I'm just like, he's like, you camped my base.
I was like, what base?
That smoldering pile of rubble over there?
Is camping a base considered bad?
Some people think it is.
Some people think it's poor etiquette to camp at their door and wait for them to come out of the door.
And I suppose it is.
We certainly hate it.
But the way to get around that
is to
have roof access on your base. So if someone's
camping your door, you go up some stairs
or up a ladder, shoot
off your roof and kill them. And even if they hit you,
your guns and loot stay on your roof
so they can't acquire them and steal
them from you. But what you do
is very difficult as an admin
to police. i've been
in the on the like the admin side of this a lot we would call it sister factions and where two
people that just don't constantly war ends and where sister factions begins is a gray line
it really seems like kyle has much more power than the is it a six person i am the most powerful
person in the server right yeah
but he has much more than he should if he if he just had him and his five friends he'd be you know
this powerful but he has him and his five friends and a half a dozen a dozen friendly uh what are
they called uh gangs groups um uh i don't know teams clans teams all right yeah so he has you know he's the leader of six
teams on this thing and as an admin you're like well what they have to fight all the time like
where does sister faction begin oh we've had you know i can talk about it now because they're about
to wipe but we've had long talks with the admins like we'll be in private private chats with them
while the other player is accusing us of literally cheating and he's like
he's like he's appeasing them in the the all chat but privately to us he's like this guy's such a
whiny little bitch my kid's sitting on my lap right now laughing his ass off at how much how
salty these guys are and i'm like yeah man i mean i just lost some video game guns what's the big
deal and he's like yeah these guys are bitches. And this is the admin talking to us privately.
Is this the same incident or has this happened again?
This has happened several times at this point.
We're constantly in private chats with the admins
because we're constantly getting called out.
Are the admins ever coming down against you
like, okay, come on, you can't do that?
We're often getting called out.
And at least one or even two
of those times, it was unwarranted.
It absolutely was unwarranted like
there was a time yesterday where they're bullying people that's so funny i love it a couple days
ago like it was just me and midi it was just us just two of us on and we're in our squad together
and we hear gunfire over the hill we go over the hill there's two guys picking on this one fella
in his house they've killed him and taken his goddamn bow and arrow away and we're like nah we'll we'll end this and so i i i sort of hold them down midi rushes in he
kills them both and they start complaining that we're teaming with this guy this stranger that
we haven't the guy the guy was polish he barely spoke english and they're saying that this is our
like buddy and that we know him and then the guy calls me an fps russia fanboy and i'm like i'm like
it it's i'm not trying to flex on you or anything but it's me you know it's me and like by the end
of it he's like i better hear about this on pka or i'm not gonna believe it so yeah dude yeah
you guys we won't see this we weren't teaming you We weren't teaming you. It was just two of us.
And only one of us killed both of you.
Little Mitt.
You got killed by Little Mitt.
2v1.
Little Mitt.
I know that I made the Minecraft comparison a thousand times.
But one of the interesting things about these long games, the weeks and stuff,
is it's partly gun skill.
But a lot of it is about charisma.
Some of it is about leadership skills.
You have a six-man faction,
but pretend you quadruple that.
Now you've got a 24-man gang, team,
the 24-man team.
You need to keep the other 23 of them
so happy that they don't betray you.
And that's an interesting aspect of the game.
And if you were to add live streaming to it,
you're going to get people
that are a little less trusted
and they need to earn their way
perhaps to the chest room.
Oh, for sure.
It's interesting to
there's a charisma, a management,
a leadership aspect to this game.
It's not like COD
domination where it's 90%
aiming. My friends have
in the new base, there will be
a base where me
and the people I've known for a long time can come and go freely but there will also be a slave quarters where some of the people
we don't know so well they can stay there and they'll have their own little base where they
yeah slave quarters you know and you know for that rating i'm certainly going to give you a
good fucking gun i'm not going to send you on the bow and arrow like like everybody gets a gun
everybody gets armor everybody gets food you know it's but i'm
negan at this point yeah you talked before about you needed a guy with pvp skills player versus
player if you guys aren't gamers probably everybody is on this call not in this uh listener base but
uh being a slayer like again in the cod thing that's a huge huge part being able to kill other people and rest well that's
just one cog in the machine yeah i mean it's it's a big cog honestly like because it can overlap a
lot of the others like you don't need to go farming if you're killing people who are loaded
you know if you killed if you kill farmers you don't need to be a farmer um if we were and we've
spent a lot of time practicing our gun skill there are
servers you can go in that are you just fight it's you respond instantly with guns you basically play
like tdm but in the rust world just like woody craft how you would go into all those portals
and the like there's like an interface with a lot of portals and you're like ah this world that
world this world that world just like that identical and and you know you hop into tdm or
you hop into free for all and just go and we'd play we play that for a few hours just learning
the guns because gunplay is really hard in rust it's it's very hard yeah and those game modes
you're talking about gave you a chance to get like a month's worth of experience today yeah
absolutely yeah but uh but yeah again if someone's play rust you know message me or whatever. Send me a message with a resume instead of a friend request because then I have to go
to a profile.
That's what I prefer.
If you don't have a well-structured APA format CV with how successful you are at different
video games with clips linked, conveniently hyperlinked there in the doc, then you don't
get to play.
If you have less than 1,000 hours experience, I expect it to fit on one page.
Otherwise, two pages. No more. Yeah. mean that's that's kind of the deal i
would prefer a message with your resume and hours really if i just knew how many hours you got and
like what kind of rating experience you have or building experience you have or like what you do
like like and your age that's all i really need your age yeah yeah i don't like playing with
children um unlike wings who plays with those
underage girls and stuff i just think that's a bad look um and and also like under 18 you just say
not sorry nah yeah you never what kind of complications you could you could get into
with that and plus like i feel like a grown adult man is going to be less likely to like get pissy
and like get mad at some like slight in the game like
although we've got guys that'll get fucking rage quit and get pissy over like the smallest thing
already and they'll just get offline i'm like all right bye i can fucking leave you know because i
get stressed they're spending all day getting sulfur for negan you know and then they have
to go back to some shit to tier cot that probably smells like sulfur
because they haven't heard my house smells like farts because all i do is mine sulfur for kyle
i've been eating corn on the cob raw all day every day yeah yeah it's uh it's a hard life
but no it's it's it's um i mean larry seems to enjoy it. And at this point, Larry's much higher
on the server than the average solo, for sure.
Larry's got all the fruits of my labor
and his labor and everybody's labor.
And it's not like I'm sitting on a tuffet somewhere
and not mining.
I go out with a chainsaw and bring back 10,000 wood.
I go with a jackhammer and bring back 10,000 stone.
I'm doing my work.
I've built all those bases.
Everybody contributes.
You're only
six people.
And again, we're duos.
It's teams of two.
It's teams of two.
There's just multiple teams
of two. You are sister-factioning
so bad.
Yeah, well, the admins are perfectly
fine with non uh you don't have to kill on site and you can have sort of like non-aggression
packs you just can't roam together roaming is when you like go out like hunting for people
and just running around the map in a squad with guns looking to kill and you're like 4v1 a guy
like we don't do that uh we really don't do that but we we what we will
do is you hear gunshots you go outside you know and and we would do that whether we were we knew
the people or not you know you you want to take advantage of the situation the parallels continue
to exist it's really hard on the admin side to really figure out where to draw that line
and then when you draw it to draw it in the same spot twice good luck with that yeah yeah it's impossible i mean yeah they haven't i'll say this we don't complain at all
but i constantly and it's like you you're winning yeah i know you know we don't always win never
fusses at steroid users we've we've had some real fucking family or jeff bezos being like
you know not once have i bitched and moaned at these mom and pop stores
who steal
single digit percentages of my
potential revenue.
Not percentages, just single digits.
Not like
upwards of six dollars.
Sometimes, like we
had, I won't even say their names, but there
was this scumbag motherfucker.
I've never been so mad at somebody in a video game, but I don't
show it, of course. I just
kind of chuckle. That's what they want.
Alright, man, whatever you want to do.
But in real life, I'm like...
I'm curious.
I need Wings of Redemption on this guy. I need this guy
getting fucking pistol-whipped
and doxxed.
There's a maglite involved here somewhere.
They just... First of all, it's a child. He's here somewhere. They just, like, first of all,
it's a child. He's like nine.
Oh, that does not make them innocent.
No, it doesn't. He's cursing like a
sailor. Children are very much worthy of our
wrath. He's like camping
outside our base, and there's two of them,
and he's just like eating our corn. He's like,
Oh, delicious corn! I eat all your corn!
Oh, thanks for the corn, fucking faggot!
Thanks for your corn, you fucking faggot.
Come out. Feed me another gun.
Come out. Feed me another gun.
So I guess you got to kill off you guys.
Yeah, you killed many.
This kid's hilarious already.
Come out. Come out. Feed me another gun.
You're fucking garbage at this game, you bitch.
You faggot.
You don't even eat it because you're a faggot.
That's why I'm established.
You can hear him eating the corn.
You can hear him eating our corn. You can hear him eating our corn.
Quonk, quonk, quonk, quonk, quonk, quonk, quonk, quonk.
He's eating it out there.
And I'm just like, I planted that corn all day.
I planted that corn in rows.
And this little bitch is out there eating it.
And he would door campus.
He'd just be outside waiting.
And when you open a door, it's loud as fuck.
But he's crouch walking with a really good gun and full armor and full health and i you just got to quit the game at
that point like like all right well we can't play tonight just gotta log out like there's no way to
to log back in and then you appear somewhere else on the map i could if i wanted to but i'd be
without my things or i could spawn at one of my other bases but i still got to deal with this kid
you know he's still right there in our area
hunting us down, essentially,
and there's nothing we can really do about it.
And so there's been a couple instances.
Was it frustrating having a child call you a homo
and you couldn't do anything about it?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, it really, really made me very...
The angriest I've ever been
at a person in a video game in my life.
We were in a server a while back
and I didn't join... All the servers
have their own discords and someone joined
the discord of that server just to see what
the player base was like in private.
Because they're talking to one another. The admins
are in there. I guess there weren't any admins
in this one because they told me
that these players were conspiring against
another player. They were saying,
I'm going to get his IP address and
download child porn on it.
And I'm like,
well, we don't want to play on this server.
Let's go somewhere
a little more casual.
You can have the corn.
You can have the corn.
By the way, that outside the game
attack thing is one of the reasons i ended woody craft it was
really hard to maintain i had staff quit they're attacking my staff's parents
i'm buying them like credit protection systems like i'm sorry mr smith you know like
if it means anything to you i've been docked for years it's okay
yeah you can't imagine taylor just how serious these people take the game.
And look, I'm taking it kind of seriously.
And it's because of the time we have invested.
That's what it's all about.
It's not that I'm obsessed with this.
Like in Call of Duty, when you die, it's 10 minutes.
In this one, when you die,
you might lose 10 hours worth of work
that have been acquired.
You can get very angry.
But if somebody's cool about it when they kill you,
I'm fine with it.
And I'm always cool about it when I
kill someone. What makes it cool? What do you mean?
You just say, good game, you know?
Nice try, nice shot.
I'm gonna leave your pants,
you know, if you want to come back and get your pants or your
sweater, they're still on your body, you know?
I'm just taking your gun and your ammo.
That's how I play the game,
and I really appreciate when others do the same.
We were raiding a base yesterday that was very close to our own,
and I'm fully kitted.
I've got the best of literally everything that exists in the game on me,
and I'm not really paying attention.
AK-47?
Yeah, I got an AK.
I got full plate armor.
I've got the best of everything.
Plate armor?
Do you mean you're walking around like a knight?
I have a mask. I picture like a
Ben Franklin stove.
He's walking around there.
Like one of the higher end
armor. Hand shot!
Exactly!
The highest level of armor
which is really only if you're like in your
base and they're coming after you
because you can't move and you can't aim down sights and you have a slit to look through,
it's literally a pan on your head and the handle is sticking out the back.
But I have a tier below that so that you're mobile and still a good gunfighter and everything.
And I look up and there's a naked guy with a double-barrel 12-gauge right there,
and he's just waiting on me.
And he goes, boom, boom, and puts both barrels into me and i snap onto him put six bullets in him
and kill him and he's just you're only at 10 health you're you have 10 health left how's that
possible yeah fuck you bitch and i run in my base and i i hide i start sticking syringes in my heart
so that i don't actually die and then i and then he's like good game man i'm like sorry i called you a bitch i was just a little amped up do you want your things
back and he's like yeah man that'd be real cool that's all i had in the world all right i'll be
out in a minute i'll tell you what we just raided that base you can have anything we don't take
and so you know i made a friend with that guy you know there was no reason to be toxic to that guy
and like rub it in his face that like i owned him or whatever because it was it's probably an unfair advantage
i had in that i had that armor and an ak-47 if he had the jump on you then yeah it's because
yeah he didn't have to jump on me if he shot me in the head he'd have won um i will say that he
just you know he hit me in the body i guess or in the legs or something like that but you know i i
was like yeah come with us man i we go up to the space we blow the last door off we take the best of the best things and we leave all of the rest for him and for him
it was a fucking treasure trove you know all the i like doing that i like being the like being
generous i'm glad being generous is an essential part of maintaining your leadership if you hoard
it all for yourself then you'll have an uprising but if you make friends
out there then your teams just grow and grow and grow until you've got dozens of two-man teams
all worshiping negan kyle all worshiping literally the negan approach it's gonna go well
yeah you're gonna be kingpin or chieftain or whatever title you give yourself on the next
server and you should put up like political rally messages spray painted on your forts where it's
like you know i don't know you know something that rhymes about how if you come across ofps
kylo there's no reason to fear that you're that you're here to help you're here to create a bet
what's the name of the world there like something silly like um there's actually not a world there's
a theory that it's off the coast of uruguay but but like
no one really knows there's a weird convoluted backstory that you have to piece together through
context clues um it doesn't matter you could you could make instructions that if people pay fealty
then you offer protection and they can enjoy the your conscription process you can become king
i i i feel like i'm really good at the social side of the game like i always make friends They can even join your conscription process. You can really become king.
I feel like I'm really good at the social side of the game.
I always make friends really quickly.
I'm often able to beg my way out of compromising situations. If I'm naked and they're looted, I'm like, hey guys, how's it going?
I'm naked. You can have my corn seeds if you want them, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill me.
I live up here. Where do you live?
I can usually work my way out of those situations but yeah but just just by being me i guess and have and being here and like
drawing players in i'm always going to have that advantage i feel like of of having a really big
team of hard-working individuals and you know there's no hoarding midi midis are as close to
a hoarder as we have i noticed that we only have one um like like m16 assault rifle
to our name he carries it he carries it i don't complain you know is that gun better than the
ar-47 ak-47 i think it's debatable i think it's debatable it has less recoil probably slightly
less damage um the ak is a really skillful gun to use it has this recoil pattern that's like an s
that goes up.
And so you have to pull down and to the left with your mouse for like five or six shots. And then down and to the right for two for like an eight round burst.
But if you want to do a 30 round burst, you have to literally be pulling down and doing like this very perfect zigzag.
It's not random.
It's that predictable that you can learn it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Kyle and I have been playing Vermintide 2 and we beat it.
I opened it up so that other people could join us,
and they were worse than us.
And I'm just like, what?
I thought we were bad.
We have like 15 hours in this game.
How are you worse than we are?
Until eventually one elf came,
and she was maxed out her level, which appears to be 30.
She didn't play as a team, which is important.
You have to pick each
other up or whatever she just ran out there and slayed she you know she didn't wait for us to
keep up with her i'm like oh keep up with her keep up with her and he's like that other guy's down
he'll respawn stick with the elf and she didn't i don't think she played well i think she just
by virtue of her level could just do anything you know every time she hit something it died whereas someone else might take six or seven hits in
three blocks that's when you feel like a king like in borderlands like and you have to run to a
mission that like but it's through like a pathway that you just skipped earlier in the game and
you're like level 48 and everybody's level 16 and you can just run through and just punch and kick
all the big creatures to death in one hit.
That was such a fun part of Borderlands.
We had reached the end of this level, and there's two boss characters.
It's hard to beat both of them.
And the goal is to get to the end of the level perfect.
You want full health with the health potion and a strength potion and a cannonball and full ammo.
And if you enter it, great.
Well, we've never won, but we've come close to winning if we enter it like limping into that final battle good luck good luck you're just you're
toast and uh the final battle comes along right out of the gate the big monster charges me i need
to use my health potion in the first five seconds. We're fucked, right? We never, to list out how this thing goes,
when Colin and I play, I'll get like 460 kills.
Colin will get like 220 kills.
And then each of the AI get like 40.
And you guys, it's pretty much a two-man game.
So when I go down early, like, you know,
it's not going to go well.
Well, anyway, this elf didn't even seem to
do anything smart she just walked up to the boss character and hack and slashed it until it died
and we won so was it a rewarding win or was it a well oh very rewarding as a matter of fact
after you kill it you have to escape and i'm on death's door one guy manages to hit me from behind
and uh and my character dies just you know one i was one shot away from death and i'm on death's door. One guy manages to hit me from behind, and my character dies.
I was one shot away from death.
And I get on the push to talk.
I'm like, save the dwarf.
Make sure the dwarf makes it to the end.
And it turned out my character,
like there was the respawn mechanic.
And you're the dwarf.
They kind of unties you.
No, Colin is the dwarf.
I don't care about me.
The point is that Colin wins this thing.
That's what all this is about.
But it turned out along the way they untied me. Save the dwarf. I don't care about me. The point is that Colin wins this thing. That's what all this is about. But it turned out along the way they untied me.
It's so funny.
You're like the real Boromir in Lord of the Rings.
They stop to pick you up.
You're like, no!
Save the halflings!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because she was running out of head.
She wasn't being a team player at all.
We were just hanging with her as much as we could.
And I'm like, circle back, get the dwarf, get the dwarf, make sure he makes it.
Are there dragon ogres in there?
Is Kolek the sun eater one of your enemies?
No, not yet.
There's two more DLCs we can buy, so maybe I'll find him.
Do you remember the names of any of the bad guys you played?
Are you fighting the lizard people?
No, they're mostly... Perhaps Krakar. So maybe I'll find him. Do you remember the names of any of the bad guys you've played? Are you fighting the lizard people? No.
Perhaps Krak Gar.
No, but you have me curious about these now.
We've been fighting rat people and what seem to be like...
The Skaven.
Skaven.
We fight Skavens for sure.
Yeah, there's a whole like half of my armor is like 10% extra damage against Skaven and things like that.
But yeah, we won yesterday and kyle still
colin's still talking about it yeah man there's there's so many factions in that game um there's
so many weird beasts and monsters and creatures um such a cool universe i don't know anything
about it other than playing those games those top-down Warhammer games. I didn't even put the pieces together that that's the same universe
of the painted figurines.
I don't even know how to play that game.
But when you go into game stores and they'll have a pool table-sized thing
with dungeons and mountains and shit and little things.
Yeah, Warhammer.
It's apparently the same universe as this.
Yeah, I watched the YouTube videos that um there's there's
this youtuber it might be milk and cookies for the win i don't know but um it's one of the total
war warhammer uh two youtubers and you know he's he's doing rts videos but he'll present it like a
story he'll be like since time and memoriam crocar of the lizard people has reigned supreme.
All his foes have been felled before him,
from the gardens of Narnia to the high cliff of Hrothgar,
until the day he met Kolek the Sun Eater, a god among dragon ogres.
On the plains of Karkaka they face each other and
today only one will
reign supreme.
And then he shows the army breakdowns
between Karkaka and Kolek and you get to see
who's fighting and then you watch
them fight with cinematic
shots and stuff. It's really fun.
The most fun kind of game to watch
for me.
Sometimes they'll break down like the strategy
and the tactics of it and be like see here you can tell he's sending in those skink skirmishers
because he's trying to pull away these whatever the fuck and but even like just as entertaining
is when he's just like making shit up or he's just like and captain the turtle man runs forward with his you know,
Dionysus riding lizard or whatever the fuck.
All that shit. I love it.
It's so Lord of the Rings-y.
I should get back into that game.
I like that game a lot.
Warhammer?
Yeah, Warhammer 2.
If you guys want to play Vermintide, we'd always be down.
Yeah.
Those are fun games. It's an interesting universe. Say that again? Yeah, yeah. If you guys want to play Vermintide, we'd always be down. Yeah. You can play with Colin and I.
Those are fun games.
It's an interesting universe.
I don't play more about Vermintide.
Say that again?
Speaking of something, I still have to look up more about Vermintide.
I watched that video, I guess last PKM when you were talking about it,
but I didn't go back and watch more.
But that's the same universe.
It's Left 4 Dead-y.
The key difference between Left 4 Dead and Vermintide to me
is there's a little more swordplay, a little less guns, and the characters improve.
In Left 4 Dead, as you work your way through the harder skill levels, it's all about getting better.
In this game, it's about getting better weapons as well as getting skilled yourself.
Is there any magic?
Any of the characters have magic?
Yeah.
Yeah, all the characters have magic.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, yeah.
What races can you choose to be?
All the characters have magic.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, yeah.
What races can you choose to be?
There seem to be two kinds of humans.
A dwarf, an elf, and there's another person whose hair is constantly on fire and has a torch
and they just kind of throw fireballs at people all the time.
I don't know what...
Fireheads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like probably the Empire and um like brittonia or something
brittonia yeah probably the empire brittonia the dwarves uh the high elves and uh and i'm having a
hard time placing the other one you described but yeah there's there's a ton of factions in there
both good and evil and and it's it's fun to match them up against one another and see what
see how this shit plays out.
They've added a few more. They added
pirate vampires recently.
Really? Damn it, I've got to hop back on.
They have crab monsters.
Okay, I'm going to hop on tonight then
and look at the crab monsters.
This universe is so much bigger. I want to buy the DLC
and see what's in it.
Yeah, you should.
I don't know why I'm so cheap,
but it does enter my head
that everything costs double, right?
Because I don't play any games by myself.
If you see a $60 game,
that's $120.
Oh, $19 DLC,
that's 40 bucks.
Yeah.
Yeah, I hear you.
Yeah, it definitely is.
I've been very careful
not to get into the microtransactions
of Rust too heavily
because you can buy skins
for the guns in
game oh i was gonna ask about that when you left the guy's pants and sweater was that just normal
stuff or is it mid-tier the thing about like when i say pants that's that i know that's sort of um
i picture jeans yeah they are jeans yeah but but but there's there's a couple of different kinds
of like bottom wear,
and pants are the best because you can wear armor over the pants,
and you can stack their protections.
And a hoodie is the best top thing to wear because you can stack armor on top of it.
So a hoodie and pants is something that you blueprint right away
so that you yourself can craft them later on.
But a low-tier player who's not established in the world,
he finds a pair of pants, and he holds on to them. And he's like not established in the world he finds a pair of
pants and he holds on to them and he's like these are my pants my only pair of pants and
meanwhile i got a chest of pants you know and so but but but yeah um you can you can buy skins
online i think the way it works i could be wrong is that rust which is made by a company called
face punch every week face punch Punch puts out eight new skins.
And they're for different things.
It might be two gun skins, an armor skin, a hammer skin, just random shit.
And they're only available for one week and then never again.
And so they create a marketplace by doing that.
Because everyone who buys it now has one out there.
They can sell it privately.
So I go on the private market and I buy the cheap shit.
Just so my gun isn't black or rusty.
Now it's chrome or it's green.
And it costs me like a dollar or something like that.
And I can make all of my teammates' guns the same color.
I can make all my teammates' armor the same color.
So we kind of have a uniform.
I saw this, Taylor.
And I don't know what to make of it.
Is this... So Donald Trump had Clemson, who I guess are the –
The Clemson Tigers beat Alabama.
You must be happy about that.
Anybody beating Alabama is probably a feather in your cap.
I didn't even know they beat them.
I was pretty happy.
So the ACC has won three out of the last six championships,
and my teams are ACC, and it's nice.
SEC – in 10 seconds,
SEC teams are typically regarded as the best in college football and they play
each other a lot of course.
And it creates this thing where like if you beat one of the other SEC teams,
you must be really great. And if you lose to one of the SEC teams, well,
that's okay. You know, cause they're so good. They're in the SEC.
And it's like, well,
how does anyone else ever get credibility if winning
that beating them gets you credibility and losing to them doesn't get you credibility it's like they
just like cornered the market on rankings and prestige and stuff so the fact that the ACC has
fucked up the rest of the planet half the time for the last six years that's right half the time
the rest of the planet.
Hey, it's my story.
I'll tell it like I want to.
Of all the college football teams across the multiverse,
the ACC
has been the best.
Donald Trump had Clemson
come to the White House.
This is the funniest.
When I saw this picture last night
before I went to dinner, I was laughing my ass off. This is so funniest. When I saw this picture last night before I went to dinner,
I was laughing my ass off.
This is so fucking funny that he bought hundreds of burgers
from McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, Domino's,
and another one or two or something.
And I saw, I don't remember what the clip was,
but a reporter was asking,
I don't see any Hardys or
Carl's Jr. or whatever. He's like,
no, the company's based out of Canada.
Only American.
Oh, good reply.
I saw it.
And they tried to get him to narrow down something.
They're like, which of these is your favorite, President Trump?
Which of these is your favorite?
I almost feel like you can... I know.
They were trying to bait him into doing something.
Go figure, because they always want to fuck with him. I know in his head can, I know, they were trying to bait him into doing something. Go figure, because I always,
they want to fuck with him.
I know in his head, he's like,
don't say Big Mac, don't say Big Mac.
He's like, they're all great,
they're all wonderful American companies, I love them all.
And then he's like,
we've got hundreds of burgers here,
lots of pizza, and many, many french fries.
Many, many
french fries, quote from our president so fucking
funny like and like all the time i i didn't understand why people were hating on this
because this is hilarious like this is the better the best memory you could make as a championship
team coming to the white house like this is unique if you're a kid that goes to clemson
you're gonna have way more fun telling this story of like yeah and i went and the president bought us fucking wendy's and big macs i saw this as
opposed to like we had broiled chicken you know fancily on i saw this picture juxtaposed across
like a really fancy high-end white house dinner and the chandeliers it's dimly lit and you know
everything looks five star and uh they're like you know when the
taxpayers pay for it versus when the politicians pay for it themselves and it's all like big max
and stuff but i'm with taylor it like look the government shut down right now they probably don't
have the same cooking crew that they normally do so he made it work and i didn't see any players
complaining it look there are legitimate reasons to worry about Comrade Trump,
and this is not one of them.
You know, though, you know all of that food was cold.
I know, I know.
But what are you going to do?
The kitchen shut down.
You cater it.
Look, let me say this.
Only, like, for $100 more, you can get, like,
the Moe's will come and cater your shit.
They'll show up with a
truckload of their food with like those little uh fuel burners underneath it and big tins it's
burritos yeah like or any restaurant really like lots of places will like like um chicken any any
restaurant in the country the restaurants that have a we will not cater even if you hold a gun
to our head if the president's like hey we need a cater even if you hold a gun to our head if the
president's like hey we need a lot of sandwiches you're like yeah you're probably right yeah of
course yes yeah like so that's it just feels like like what the fuck like like at the car dealership
i worked at we were able to get this done okay every every saturday popeyes came in they had all
they had a big tray of rice and a big tray of chicken and a big tray of mashed potatoes.
Just multiply that by 10 and you're good.
There's 25 of us, probably 125 people.
The only funnier thing he could have done is if it was all Chick-fil-A.
Wait, was it a Sunday?
Why do I have it in my head that it was a Sunday?
Oh, that would be so funny.
Chick-fil-A won't stay open for the president um yeah anyway yeah they're like i said there's
reasons to fuss about trump but this is not one of them this was just him making it happen so they
they made it happen good for them i hope they enjoyed their trip with his hands up like check
out check out all these burgers and it shows all these burgers and you just know like the white house kitchen
staff like i saw a tweet joking about this he's like yeah i want you to put the uh put the sweet
sour sauce in there they're like put them in the in the lincoln memorial gravy boats
i've been around since 1861 yeah he doesn't up. He doesn't need a Betty Boy.
He's dead. He was shot.
I like presidents who aren't assassinated.
That's a good line, Kyle.
That was good.
Kennedy, Lincoln,
bitches.
Are there more Grover?
Yeah.
Who's the one who got shot during the speech?
And he was like, ow, get him.
All right, now let me finish this speech.
That was Teddy Roosevelt.
I thought so too, but it was probably because he was so fat, right?
He just absorbed the bullet.
It was one of them old-timey guns too.
That might actually be a thing.
Have you seen the video of Joe Lozon hitting, I think the guy's name is Lonzo,
but his friend is big
yeah so joe lozon's just ripping body shots and you can tell he's he's hitting with all the might
joe has which is a lot and uh i don't want to get into into it but the way of a real fighter
rotates their shoulder and puts their body into it is very different than the arm punches that like
you and i would do so uh
and he's just killing the guy and he's holding his hands up like this letting him hit him
with no effect is he a huge guy or about joe's size he's much bigger than joe and he's heavy 25
10 maybe i would have called him six foot two fifty okay he's not just some big fat guy.
He's not the blob.
This isn't that Wolverine scene.
He's a thick, strong man who's skilled.
Is there a video of him?
There is.
I'm going to see if I can find it.
I love this picture of Trump, though, not to escape that.
There's so much gold in that photograph.
Look how much gold there is. Everything is gold.
You can't take credit for that gold. That gold's been there.
Yeah, but no, they decorate.
Whoever's the president, they're like,
I want this and that and this and that.
The rugs, the drapery, all that shit's on them.
I remember when...
I didn't know that.
I remember when Bush came in. It's always different.
The Oval Office is always different. The desk is different.
The rugs are different. The curtains are different.
I never figured the actual politicians cared that
much i figured it was just some like interior decorator no it's a big it's a big decision
uh i think the first lady often has a lot to do with it i was gonna say the same thing that's
like one of their things and if i'm first lady i'm like i think they might be in charge of it
but they have professional help because i'd be like dude i don't know i don't
know what to do with like the decorate the white house everyone's gonna judge i don't know how many
more times i can go to home depot they're running out of light and i'm so scared on the ladder alone
she's out there
dude i found the video and it's 46 seconds long.
I think we can just watch the whole thing.
Yeah, let's do it.
God, Joe's beating up in this video.
His eyes.
He's great.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
Three, two, one, play.
All right, so this is Lorenzo.
He trains at my gym.
And we're talking about how he's got a little bit of body armor here.
So I'm going to try to blast through it with a hook.
I probably can't, but we'll see.
You get lower and more in front of you, and you get his liver.
God, look at this. get his liver. God.
Look at this.
Look at how hard he's hitting.
He's trying so hard.
He fets his head.
Look at him.
He's hitting the same spot over and over.
He's red face.
He's red face from the exertion of beating this man. You're right.
No offense.
I really like how hard he was trying.
Like, that was my favorite part.
Joe was not like, you know, let's pretend I can't hit him hard.
But, yeah.
How do you work out that muscle?
The muscle that lets you just get pounded in the ribs and liver.
It takes a lot of KFC.
It must.
I wonder how much fat. I mean mean it must be a known fact like fat helps you cushion the blow of punches maybe like spread the impact
area about like you think so right like it decelerates it has to absolutely and you having
more mass means you're going to be you know moved less as well uh at some point if that helps you
or not right because like like for example if
you were to hit me in the jaw and i was still it would hurt a lot if i was rolling away from it
then it would lighten your blow but i could make the other argument too where you're so
solid i don't know i don't know because some of them like stay kind of you know i know they're
not fat they they are fat but they're not like out of shape fat. People like Big Country Nelson,
he always looks like a big fat fuck
when he goes into the ambling into the ring.
But his thing is being known
to be able to get the shit kicked out of him
and not get knocked out.
He has a very good chin, yeah.
When Kyle saw him the first time,
he instantly liked that guy.
He was like, no way, that guy?
Then his name's Big Country,
and I think he won his fight too. It's like, no way! That guy? You know, and then his name's Big Country, and I think he won his
fight, too. It's like when you play
Street Fighter, and there's the one fat
drunk guy who just
stumbles around, but somehow
beats up. Yeah, he's effective.
That's him. I think he's in
Bellator now. I think he's headlining a card
coming up. I saw an article on Joe
Lozon and the career,
where he feels about he is
and uh so he said in public a lot of the things that we've talked about in private and i was like
ah cool now i can talk about him in public right like if he's talking to you know and uh basically
like he was in a lot of his losses before things didn't go his way and he feels like he's got a
couple more in him and he's going to get in shape and
see if he tries it or not like so he's 34 and he's like what i don't want to be is 39 wishing
i had given it one more go you know so yeah i said those numbers right so uh that's where he is he's
going to get in shape see how he stands he has a lot of top guys come to his gym that he does well
against right donald serroni for example came to the gym and joe's like if i'm right there with serrani then why shouldn't i be fighting you know
he's like but i'm not kidding myself i lost some fights so you know like the the score is posted
he's like so he's gonna see uh you know he's gonna decide whether or not he should do some more or
not yeah i i'd love to watch.
He's a year older than Joe.
Is he?
I love watching Joe fight.
I feel like I've got a little bit more skin in the game when he fights because I care about Joe.
And it's far from me to critique Joe.
So I just want to see Joe fight and win.
And I hope that happens.
Yeah.
I think I'm on the same page as you but I'd go
I just want to see him happy whatever that
takes you know if that means that
his own gym is thriving and he just
you know he's raising his
two boys to be the next generation of
murderers then like
ring murderers let's get this straight
then do that you know
whatever makes I just want Joe to have his best
life
so yeah absolutely yeah then do that. You know, whatever makes... I just want Joe to have his best life.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think.
There's a few good cards coming up,
but nothing like immediately.
Oh, no.
Askren and Lawler is still a month or two away.
I think there's some great cards coming up.
Am I crazy?
I was looking and I was like, wow, the next three months are packed, but now UFC changed their website in a way that makes it harder for me to
figure out what's up. So, so who do Dillashaw's this weekend? Um,
Whitaker Gastelum yeah
so
I'm sorry I'm not good at the new website
when you start looking at the fights you lose the date
February 9th is a decent one
17th
I don't want to
I can't scan it on the show like I used to be able to
but
I watched
no no you please
I was watching this uh netflix show called
magic for humans it's like a it's like a david blaine style show but it's like funnier and like
it's like family friendly for the most part the last episode is not family friendly at all like
it really took a turn and got much much dirtier for that one not like it's you know truly raunchy or anything especially compared to the fucking show we run here um but it like it's genuinely good
i usually don't like those magic illusion shows and like this is really truly impressive like
it's frustrating when you can tell that it's obviously kind of scripted and the and the people
are in on it but as long as you kind of suspend the disbelief and just enjoy it.
And it gave me an idea for a show called Black Magic.
And it's a street magician show
where they only approach black people.
This is the...
I don't even want to get close to his name.
This is the Parks and Recs dude thing, right?
Yeah, Aziz Ansari.
Aziz Ansari. Aziz Ansari.
Oh, that's a known thing.
He didn't come up with that joke either.
That's been a joke for a long time.
Black magic.
Think of how good of a show that would be.
That'd be super funny.
No more would they be showing a really impressive trick to some Cambodian immigrant who's like,
I have work to do.
I need to try to get by.
No, you'll have people like really genuinely
enjoying the tricks so netflix you're handing out things to everybody now i'd like that
i've been watching um have you seen the netflix special sex education
is it a fun is this like a documentary or a funny show or um no it it's it's kind of funny it may
be drama and uh i enjoyed it i got kind of addicted to it
like i didn't intend to binge watch it and then i find myself like messing up my sleep schedule so
it was good enough to do that for me but i always feel dirty what so uh the kids are call them 17
right and uh the guy's mom is a sex therapist, but not like one that has sex with people, one that just like a shrink kind of thing.
And then in his high school, he becomes a shrink giving sex advice to to the other kids.
And that's how you get a well-adjusted, normal child.
Yeah. Yeah. So and then the different kids have like different hang ups and he works out with them.
And there are some sex scenes and it is like, it messes with my head.
I'm trying to draw, I'm 45.
Somehow, if I can watch like double penetration wife swapping MILF porn and think, well, this is age appropriate for me.
But a 17 year old gets head off camera and I'm like, Woody, this is age appropriate for me. But a 17-year-old gets head off camera
and I'm like, Woody, this is bad.
This is wrong.
Like, you know, stop prying on these children having sex.
This is inappropriate.
And those thoughts like pop into my head
as I try to watch this show.
But I enjoyed the show.
It was, I got caught up in the whole storyline
and rooted for the characters and
sex education a better than average netflix show but maybe a little little dirty yeah it's not when
you watch like if you're young with your parents in the room or something because i think in the
opening two minutes or so this girl's riding this dude uh you know do you like my tits? Whatever. And I'm like, yeah. Thumbs up. Oh, there's nudity in it?
Yes.
I want to say not full frontal,
but definitely boobs.
And something about like,
like there's boobs when a girl's in the closet
picking out her clothes.
And then there's boobs when she's straddled over a guy
who's also apparently naked.
It's the second.
Okay.
So it's not
casual boobing. No, no. It's just
a hair below Game of Thrones.
Yeah, I saw
a preview for that
on Netflix. I haven't been watching much
TV, obviously.
I haven't been watching much TV. I haven't been eating
or sleeping. I've been sick.
I've been doing nothing but that.
I bought a new bottle of vodka i got
some sorak vodka it's made from grapes instead of corn or potatoes i've been is it clear really
it's clear yeah yeah i didn't even know they could make vodka out of grapes i look i i'm
probably wrong about this but i think the way vodka works is they just keep refining it keep
filtering it until any color is out like you probably make make vodka out of agave which
which is what tequila is made out of if you just kept on filtering it what is that agave agave it's
like a cactus oh that's what tequila is made of um i had no idea it's made of it like jose
cuervo is not real tequila though it's it's it's like 51 agave and 49 low grade alcohol grain
alcohol yeah that's why people get sick and headaches
and violent when they drink Jose Cuervo.
They're like, yeah, tequila makes me crazy.
He's like, you're not drinking tequila.
You're drinking Jose Cuervo.
Get some real fucking tequila.
Everclear is so goddamn cheap here.
Yeah, Everclear is scary.
It's like $11 for a fifth of it.
Like, it's cheaper than vodka in our country.
What's the alcohol percentage on that? I know Bacardi won. 95%. It's like $11 for a fifth of it. It's cheaper than vodka. What's the alcohol percentage on that?
95%.
It's 180 proof.
It's 190 proof.
It's 190 proof.
Sorry.
Yeah.
There's no way to calculate that.
There's no way to calculate that.
So I was with a guy who was very charming.
And somehow I got myself in the situation of having to figure out 14 times 800.
And that was what he gave me.
That was the out.
He's like, there's no way to calculate that.
There's no way to calculate that.
Because he could just see me like, you know, I carry the three.
And he's like, there's no way.
He's like, all right, thank you.
Do you ever get like 20 seconds into a mental math problem around somebody else and you realize like you did something wrong earlier?
Oh, no.
You're like, I'm in too deep on the time.
Like if I go for a calculator, I'll look foolish.
And if I restart right now my process, it will take me like a minute and then I'll appear foolish for not using the calculator in the first place because I've revealed I'm too dumb for minute math.
This guy had a very high EQ. And I think it was even one of those where i was like oh did i make it
you know it's i know 14 times 800 is not the toughest but uh he let me off the hook with it
and it was like ah i'm gonna reuse that yeah that's impossible don't blame yourself that's
why we invented computers do you remember a minute math was that a thing you guys had to do like a quiz and in grade school
definitely heard of it i don't recall if i did it or if it was a kid 40 questions in a minute and
it was like you know five times four six times eight you know 11 minus nine like just like a
bunch of like simple you know 12 divided by three that kind of shit. That was like there was never a bigger confidence boost throughout school
than when they're like, minute math, and you're like,
I know I'm going to finish.
I know all of this math.
And everybody else finished too, but I loved the –
Not everybody, Taylor.
No, in my school, like there were a couple –
so what would happen is they'd give you the test.
And if you did well, they'd give you the next one, right?
So the first ones might be like two plus three, nine plus two, one plus three.
And if you do that, then you get subtraction.
If you do that, then you get multiplication, then division.
And then they start like fucking with you.
Like two plus three, three times two.
Like, oh, wait, shit, they're different.
You know, like they're changing up the symbols. And then they bring in, like, one digit times two.
This was 11th grade.
This passes for a master's at state schools.
This equal sign has a dot above and below it.
You know, Woody, you're always bragging about this whole working your way through school thing,
but I'm starting to lose all respect now that I hear about the class load.
The work load. I remember I
sat next to this kid. This might have been
the teacher that thought I was retarded.
This could have been second grade.
Why do you tell those stories?
It could have been Mrs. Fields.
The teacher who thought you were retarded.
I wanted to retell the story super fast
for people who don't know it.
Tell it slow or you won't get it.
I'm in like 11th grade.
And we had report cards every quarter.
So there's four of those.
And then every eighth, you know,
that we had something.
We'd have deficiency reports.
Progress.
Yeah.
And people who are good students,
which is wouldn't get anything
in the middle of the quarter.
But people who are bad students like me, the teachers would be be like this kid's in danger of not doing well in this class
my parents got some sort of negative feedback on my school eight times a year every eighth of a
school year for like 11 years and i was like what about m. Fields I did great in second grade and she's like she thought you were retarded
what about the one thing to hang
your hat on
but I put this to you mom
we fought to keep you out of the special needs
classes in second grade
there was a kid I sat next to
in English in high school
I don't remember exactly what grade
but he wasn't retarded he
just i've never seen a kid who cared less about school like actively not even like fuck this i'm
not like he'd actively sabotage himself like it seemed like i don't know what that was indicative
of at home but that's how he did and he sat next to me in english because you know we would make
jokes together and laugh and i was always good at english and always had vocab tests and i kicked ass at vocab
and he got so many like zeros with vocabs because he would intentionally like put the wrong thing in
that like halfway through the year she started giving him the special needs version of the vocab
test because she desperately wanted him to pass like desperately this is the same kid i've
mentioned this is the same kid i've mentioned before that our middle school we were handing
out diplomas for everyone for middle school graduation and he showed we were all laughing
in the hallway afterwards because all our said like you know congratulations for completing
middle school and his said thank you for participating and And they let him through anyway.
I would cheat for him
every single week on vocab.
He would go out of his way
to not learn new words.
I'd sit next to him,
and he used to put it down,
and this was the most overt I ever cheated.
And the teacher loved me,
so she probably saw it and didn't care.
Initially, I'd sit there with my normal person. She wanted him to pass too. Vocab quiz. You guys were on the same team. cheated and the teacher loved me so she probably saw it and like didn't care like initially i'd sit there with my normal person vocab quiz yeah she won you guys were
the same team you were the teacher he was a fucking rabble rouser and he would be like
what's altercation mean like it you know it means like you get in a fight you get in a you know a
verbal spat to kind of an intense you know problem between you or whatever it was and then it got to
the point eventually where he was too lazy to write
down what I told him to write down.
And so the teacher would put down his
quiz, then put down my quiz,
and while she was still handing it to
the person next to me, he would push his quiz
over to my side of the desk. I would
take it real quick, give it to him,
and then take my own. And he'd be like,
every Friday when we got him back,
he'd be like, after like every, like Friday when we got him back, he'd be like,
Taylor,
another hundred.
That's fantastic,
man.
I'm really happy for you.
I hope you make it out of,
out of this grade.
Yeah.
That,
that never registered with me.
Like people who just,
who couldn't even do like high school was so fucking easy.
Dude,
I was that guy.
I had a chemistry exam and i think it was 11th grade
and i had done poorly all year but it was at the level where if i did well enough on the final i'd
pass for the year and if i didn't and i'm by the way i'm i'm smart like i've done other things that
would imply i could pull this off and what happened was it has 132 multiple choice questions. 132 questions and I passed it for the whole year.
And somehow I saw it, deemed it un-fucking-reasonable to ask that many questions.
I answered them all B and I turned it in in less than two minutes and failed.
So in your head you were like, over 100 questions?
Who do they think I am?
Copernicus?
B, B, B, B, B.
I don't even know why I answered them all.
What difference did it make?
But I'd seen something that B was the most common answer, if it only goes to D or something.
And I was like, straight Bs, handed it in.
And in my head, I don't know.
I do remember thinking, because when you finish your final, you're sort of out. like huh i'm finished school like 10 a.m this is fantastic like meanwhile i'm taking
the whole thing next year yeah but uh yeah did you guys ever uh get like conscripted into helping
with the scantron machines no i'm what he probably didn't but like you know the scantron machines
where you fill all that shit in and then you we had inserted yeah every once in a while you'd have one of those and like the teacher be too
busy and they'd be like hey go just go feed this pile of scantrons and then bring them back to me
in the machine and you could tell like like i'd look at it and i'd be like oh the indian kid in
our grade he's really fucking smart you put that one through silence and you're like oh this kid's retarded i can't wait and you put it in and you
just hear all of the questions that got wrong and it was oh that was funny oh no i've never
did you guys have i don't know if this is a thing that doesn't exist in school anymore
but we had incompetent photocopiers in my school. Like they'd be classroom handouts and they're crooked.
And some of the words are cut off.
And it's like, what the fuck is wrong with you that you thought this was okay?
How low are your quality standards that you're handing out these things and kids can't read them?
Yeah, occasionally that would definitely happen.
You're off by 20 degrees.
It wasn't like, how did that slip through quality control?
It would be those things where you get a piece of paper like,
all right, I've got handouts for the class.
And it's just an eight and a half by 11 piece of paper
with like half the page covered with very faint poetry.
Oh, yeah.
So you guys want to call it?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, so. Anyway, a pkn episode 230 good times awesome