Painkiller Already - PKN #246

Episode Date: May 17, 2019

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 pkn 246 endgame is now the second highest grossing movie ever boom kyle called it he was like great avatar so the way it works is avatar is 2.7 billion almost three uh endgame is like 2.1 and it passed like a cluster of movies like one of the star wars is i think force awakens titanic and some others, maybe another Marvel movie or two. We're all clustered right around that $2 billion mark. So it has a little gap to get from $2.1 to $2.7. But my goodness, if it got $2.1 in two weeks, it would get $0.6. It's going to do it. And forget about all the DVD sales. I guess that's not factored in, but that's going to be huge. I think it's going to be
Starting point is 00:00:46 the biggest of all time, but James Cameron must have seen this coming, because for the last two years, he's been working on his next project, which is not one, not two, not three sequels to Avatar, but four sequels to Avatar, two of which he's already filmed and are in the can
Starting point is 00:01:02 and are ready to roll out. They are? I saw that today. I saw a Twitter post where it was like, Disney announces new Star Wars and new Avatars, and they're staggered. Avatar 5 is going to come out in 2027. Yeah. And it's already played. I probably have ranted about this before, but Avatar is interesting to me, right?
Starting point is 00:01:22 Because Star Wars Force Awakens, we've talked about that a bunch. Endgame, Marvel movies in particular, or in general, we've talked about those a ton. Avatar somehow managed to be the highest grossing movie in the history of any universe we know of. It's a mystery. And it somehow is not part of our culture.
Starting point is 00:01:43 My only guess is... Is it because as a china i was about to say i think it's asia because like like maybe in asia people are like quoting avatar and like paint and kids paint their faces blue and put on fake tails and i mean they already do that but that's for a whole different reason i i don't get it if my kids dressed as the stars of Avatar for Halloween this year, all the neighbors would say, and who are you? Right? Yeah. But they could dress as Chuck Liddell and get recognized. You know, with the mohawk and the Iceman shorts.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Much more culturally influential. Let me ask you this. Who's – I could ask you who the star of Avatar is, the actor. I recognize him in a crowd. I'll say that. I remember what the man looked like. All right? I have no idea what the character's name is
Starting point is 00:02:27 Me neither I'm like is it the same guy from Venom I'm not even sure I don't know who is the star I do know the female star The female star that he loves Is Gamora From Guardians of the Galaxy
Starting point is 00:02:42 The green chick I'll CGI it up though She's all blue Sam Worthington Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy, the green chick. Okay. I'll CGI it up though. Yes, yes. She's all blue. It says Sam Worthington. That's him, yeah. I could pass this guy on the street and I would have no idea. Gamora's the green one, right? I got that right?
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah, that's her then. Yeah, she's in a lot of stuff. She was also in Star Trek. She's Uhura. She's hot. But yeah, Avatar, I don't get it She's she was also in Star Trek. She's uh, uhura. Um, she's she's hot. Uh, but yeah avatar I don't get it we've talked about it many times and I think it's sort of a I think a lot of people have talked about the fact that avatar is that huge movie huge box office, but no cultural influence really like No toys. No like when I think star wars and look everybody knows I hate star wars for for all my reasons
Starting point is 00:03:23 and i'm not just trying to be like the wars and look everybody knows i hate star wars for for all my reasons and i'm not just trying to be like the the one guy who doesn't like it or whatever i i genuinely just dislike it it's not for me but i know all about it and i know about the toys and the different races and the species and the lore and the backstory and all that shit's fucking cool to me it really is it's just the story i don't care for but avatar to me to me, it's Fern Gully the movie. And I don't know if you guys ever saw the cartoon Fern Gully. Basically, it's the exact same thing. It's the exact same thing.
Starting point is 00:03:51 It's also the same thing as the Smurfs. It's the same thing as the Smurfs. It's a bunch of elf people. Fern Gully is a cartoon about a bunch of elf people who live in the rainforest. You've got to go back far enough. Woody, you remember Steamboat Willie, right? Oh, yeah, sure, sure. It's just like that i didn't care for the talking pictures but after a while i love the talkies now now i like my entertainment with five minutes of acting out silently and then
Starting point is 00:04:17 a placard of text call me old-fashioned that was like a real thing like in the switch from the uh silent movies to the talkies like a lot of those big big i think uh buster keaton like one of the biggest stars in the world in the silent movies they came out with the talkies and suddenly it was like this guy doesn't sound like how i thought he would sound yeah this guy i'm done like he went through a bad depression it was charlie Chaplin though, who was able to make that fucking leap because they, you'd never heard Charlie Chaplin speak. You just saw his like physical comedic talent and the man could just look at
Starting point is 00:04:53 you and do a little whoop, do whoop and you'd laugh. And then he spoke and you're like, holy shit. Who is this guy? This guy's got a voice. Like, I don't know if you've ever seen his speech in,
Starting point is 00:05:03 um, about, about war. Uh have it's amazing yeah if soldiers around the world will just join together and say no to tyrants no to tyranny no to me he's like ranting with this powerful like it's like aragorn return of the king fucking fucking theoden getting the writers pumped up death sort of fucking great do the one where you fall on the banana peel i want to circle back to avatar but there's a similar thing that happens on youtube i feel um when you said that you know when these talkie guys you hear their voice and then suddenly they don't have the wonderfulness that you
Starting point is 00:05:43 projected upon them. On YouTubers, I'll watch a guy, we'll say it's Call of Duty, it doesn't matter what the game is, and I'm like, this guy's badass. He jumps out of second story windows, he kills everyone he sees, he's amazing. That's probably him in real life as well. And then you see him
Starting point is 00:05:59 and that's not him at all. He's short and he's got weight issues and you can tell he's not him at all. He's short, and he's got weight issues, and you can tell he's not popular in school. It's like, ah, I see why you took this path instead of joining the real Marines. Over the years I got to meet, I think all the YouTubers that I cared about and everything,
Starting point is 00:06:15 the one who I met and I was like, well, you're the guy who plays the games. You're the same. Fucking Sandy Ravage. I met Sandy Ravage, and he's like 6 like six three and a half like like good-looking guy like like smart like like charismatic He clearly was comfortable in his own body standing there in packs or e3 or wherever the fuck we were like and very few of The guys that you meet are anything like that and I'm not gonna call anybody for you know that sort of thing But we know exactly who I'm talking about who's like like, you're talking about literally everyone, like almost everyone, almost everyone
Starting point is 00:06:49 in particular, you know, the one in particular who's like the baddest motherfucker out there. And then you saw him and you're like, oh, shit. Okay, shit. Like, I'm just going to write it because I feel like I'm going to write it, too, because I think it is coming. I haven't met as many YouTubers. Yeah, I got it. It'd be mean to say anything, but I'm just saying that was the case.
Starting point is 00:07:08 And Beach Hills, I've been talking about Beach Hills. And I'm not trying to... Is he a... He's a Rust user. He's a Rust user. Yeah, okay. But he's good at all games. He's one of those guys that's really good at all games.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I'm not sure why he's not more popular. I dig him a lot. He's not... He doesn't look like... The superhero. The king of the world, you know? I mean, he's not some sort of mutant or anything. He's not – he doesn't look like the king of the world. I mean he's not some sort of mutant or anything. He's a regular-looking fella.
Starting point is 00:07:31 But he's not maybe what you'd suspect. There's a lot of YouTubers like that that I watch a lot, like Rust Guys in particular, like Blueprint. I showed myself in the second video I ever made just to pop that balloon right from the get-go. I didn't want anyone to be so disappointed in who I really am. I'm like, video number two is me doing, I think it is, a real-life headset review. It was about sound whoring. I saw Wings' hands early.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Yeah. I remember seeing his hands for the first time. Wings, he was less than full disclosure on where he was. He said he was 6'4". He was kind of strong. He was this than full disclosure on where he was, right? He said he was 6'4". He was kind of strong. He was this and that. And a lot of that stuff turned out not to be the picture that he was drawing. He did it on camera prior to that, right? No, no.
Starting point is 00:08:14 He was hundreds of videos deep before that. Yeah. Man, I did not remember that. I didn't know he made hundreds of videos. That was a real thing, though, now that I'm looking back. Because now everybody who does video games games i don't watch those videos anymore but when i see them in my suggested things there's always a face there like even if it's just like a green screen little cutout there's always a face on there back in the day when you would like
Starting point is 00:08:35 see your favorite youtuber it almost was disappointing sometimes we were like oh no no take this video down let me just believe that you're the guy that's really cool that i thought you were that's where i was heading with this like the youtubers that i'm watching now like like a lot of these uh these rust guys i'll watch like their whole video catalog right i'll sit and watch like three hours of their shit and then i'll come across their face reveal video and i'm like no no no thanks no thanks i i already have a uh a picture of of you right now uh and i'm gonna keep that yeah i'm gonna keep that yeah if you put on that picture and you're overweight and don't even have an eye patch i don't you know the silly things you imagine how
Starting point is 00:09:18 people look but uh talking about this this movie stuff i looked at you know how uh i think kyle or one of you said it earlier about how movies will do really well in China even if they suck dick here. I didn't know many examples of that. The Mummy from... You know, The Mummy.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Tom Cruise or Brendan Fraser? Let me make sure this isn't the brand new one. The brand new one was garbage was it bad it literally killed the dark universe that they were yeah this is the it was is the brand new one it made 31 million dollars here and like 350 million dollars in china because apparently they like the mummy series uh triple x return of xander cage i've never seen a triple x movie it's got first one ain't bad vin diesel in there he's like uh you know it's turned i'm actually gay in real
Starting point is 00:10:12 life you know all the things he says in his like goopy ass voice that made 44 million dollars in the u.s over 300 bills in in fucking china fast and furious warcraft killed it in china apparently fast and furious is huge but it's not huge with me are you guys into that like no one i know is like excited about it on the level they are of anything marvel i think maybe it's a much younger crowd i think it's a younger like because maybe when the first one came out i thought it was pretty cool i and like i was i was i i thought that car was cool. I had a friend that was super into cars like that. So he kind of sucked me into the franchise. Yeah. I thought the first one was cool because like,
Starting point is 00:10:51 to me, the whole, the whole franchise has really been bastardized and, and, and like turned into some real garbage because it started out. If you remember back, it's Paul Walker and Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez. And basically Paul Walker is going undercover to bust Vin Diesel because what does Vin Diesel do?
Starting point is 00:11:08 He steals DVD players. Is that what he does? He hijacks trucks full of DVD players. This is the criminal mastermind that they are after. I mean, shit. Why did he run away then? What was he going to do, four years? Like, you're becoming an international outlaw over
Starting point is 00:11:25 this man has stolen five box trucks full of dvd players damn it chief that's hundreds of dollars well you got to keep in mind this is like 97 when there were 800 a piece or something like that it was probably two million dollars score but but in the but now first of all now it's a franchise where like it's almost like um like um national lampoons how like there's like a spin-off version of it so now there's there's one where there's a new movie coming out and it's the rock it's it's within the fast and furious universe which now includes the uh the rock uh and the rock and jason statham are doing their own little secret mission within the fast and Furious universe. There's no car racing.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's just them beating people up. I watched the trailer for this, and I wanted to vomit. They get to the end, and I'm not even joking. They go back to The Rock's homeland, wherever. They do where the Maori live. Maybe New Zealand. I don't fucking know. Sounds right.
Starting point is 00:12:23 I thought it was from Florida. Yeah, but the character. Maybe New Zealand. I don't fucking know. Sounds right. I thought it was from Florida. Yeah, but the character. Oh, I literally thought you were talking about the rock. Like the actor. Carry on. So he goes to open up his weapons cache. And him and Jason Statham have to go kick some serious ass, right? It's time to do that scene where you reveal all
Starting point is 00:12:40 the black rifles and grenade launchers and shit. And they're all gone. And now it's a bunch of axes and clubs and staffs. And he's like, mama, where'd my guns go? And she goes, guns are bad.
Starting point is 00:12:52 They hurt people. And Jason seems like that is true. It was true. And the rocks like, yes, we got to kick it old school. And the next scene, they all have these clubs and they're doing the Haka.
Starting point is 00:13:05 They're doing the, like toward their enemies and their enemies for some reason decide to honor this hand-to-hand combat and there's just a big free-for-all melee where they're fighting what i'm guessing the anchorman fight where they're just the honor they decide to fight internet these international terrorists i'm guessing or like whatever a bunch of bad guys wearing all black who would normally have machine guns and helicopters decide to fight the rock also hand to hand. And then there's another scene where the rock is in like a semi truck that's jacked up of course like a souped up semi truck chasing a helicopter. So a semi can go off roading I'm sure. And he takes a chain a huge chain chain, and he lassos the helicopter's landing gear. It sounds like you're making this up.
Starting point is 00:13:50 And he's holding the semi truck with one hand and the chain with the other, and he's going, and he's holding the helicopter back. Captain America did that. Captain America did that for a little bit. Yeah, he struggled. Until he was overexerted the rock is doing it and like it's not like the helicopter's pulling a little the helicopter's
Starting point is 00:14:11 like lifting the truck off the ground and he's the only thing tethering it to the truck he's holding the truck he's like fucking samson apparently where but the kick is if he grows any hair he loses all of his strength i guess i saw a trailer and i thought it looked kind of fun we had the rock and jason statham they both enter a door and they want to like they're like i pick a door and then they get like a vibe that the other side like one is one bad guy and one is like nine and the guy's like i want to switch doors and he wouldn't let him and then of course they beat them all up and they have to open this sensor that i guess they is like an optical sensor.
Starting point is 00:14:46 So he slams his head on. The red light turns green. It clearly works. The Rock takes his guy, slams it, slams it, slams it, like repeatedly slamming this guy's head on the sensor. And it's comical and it looks fun
Starting point is 00:14:58 and it's a silly action movie, popcorn movie. Same movie. It's the same movie and I liked the scene you're describing where Jason Statham's slamming the guy's face over and over. I'll have it backwards. It was a good gag. It was funny.
Starting point is 00:15:08 And the audio's wonderful for it. The other things I described, they'll also happen in that movie. That sounds awesome. I feel like I need to see it to judge it because it's a popcorn movie, right? If you told me that this was a serious cinematic venture and someone's going for an Oscar, then I'd say, man man this writing is terrible but if you told me it was supposed to be a fun night
Starting point is 00:15:30 where you take a date and barely pay attention maybe they hit the mark uh if you're gonna do action nowadays you better step your game up to like a john wick level where like the actor is totally committed and not only can he kick ass but he can like jerk tears and uh and i need to it needs to be in a believable universe and and i don't like the over the top like unbelievable action i've never liked it um like when you can't you can't out of fashion i'm kind of you're winning me over like what schwarzenegger did you know machine guns that never ran out of bullets like commando is in my head yeah that was that was a great 80s movie but he's not the 80s anymore yeah and look i even that isn't as bad as some of the stuff
Starting point is 00:16:11 because the rock makes it like comedy and and and schwarzenegger's version of comedy was like like like he he drops the guy off the cliff right and it comes back to the car and the lady goes what'd you do with sully and goes i let him go like that's his comedy right and that's funny you know he literally did like let the guy he's like remember sully when i told you i'd kill you last and so he's like yeah you did you said that i lied he fucking drops him it's great but like the rock's gotten a little goofy for me i like the rock in walking tall you ever see walking tall is that the one where he's walking tall in the beginning and he jumps off the building and then the two
Starting point is 00:16:50 funny guys are the secret agents no no no that's that's that's the comedy with will ferrell and that's called the other guys is what you're referring to i thought that was funny walking tall came out in like 2006 2004 2004 to 2006, somewhere in there. And it's basically an Iraq war vet comes home, The Rock, and his town has a casino in it now. And the casino is run by an ex-friend of his who's got some drug dealing going on in there. It's a real nefarious place where girls get raped maybe. I don't recall exactly. Anyway, shit goes bad. The Rock catches them cheating him in the casino.
Starting point is 00:17:25 The bouncers don't know that the Rock knows the owner, and they take him in the back with a box cutter, and they cut him all up really bad in his stomach. They carve him up. And he recovers from all this, and he goes back with a fucking 4x4. Not a 2x4, a 4x4 post. Walks into the casino and destroys the casino and
Starting point is 00:17:45 beats all the bouncers up within an inch of their life in the court case. Uh, he's in court and, and, and it's like his turn to talk. And he's like, look, I did what I did and I do it again. And if you elect, and if I, if I, if you find me innocent, not only am I going to, am I going to become, am I going to run for sheriff? I'm going to become the sheriff and I'm gonna I'm gonna clean this town up and rid them of this Kind of crime and they're like not guilty And so he runs for sheriff Johnny Knoxville is his deputy and they go on this sort of like two-man Rampage against like the the evil casino owner and and the whole kick is the rock won't use a gun He carries a like when he shows back up his share four by four he's got
Starting point is 00:18:25 the four by four but he's carved it now like homer with that limb that got struck by lightning he's carved it into a whomping stick that he just he'll just put it in the like gun rack of his truck and he'll just get that giant club out he'll go to work the original lucille oh that ain't bad rock makes a lot of movies i feel like at some point he saw samuel jackson and said hold my beer i'm gonna start making nine movies you know what i like the rock because the rock is charismatic right you might not like his new movie but man can that guy just control a crowd light up a room smile and make you like him you probably haven't seen it but is it mo Moana, the Disney film? No? It's a cartoon? Shit!
Starting point is 00:19:08 I've seen it. I've seen the Moana thing. Yeah, and he sings in it, and he's really good! He's really good! You want a character that no one else could have pulled that off like he did. I would have never seen it if I didn't have children, I think, but I do and I have. I like The Rock. I wish he'd do different things with his career. But I bet he's making an incredible amount of money. I'm loving your deep dive reference with the Wonder Bat from season three of The Simpsons.
Starting point is 00:19:34 No problem, man. Yeah. That's great. I should watch that again. Yeah, that's a good episode. But I like The Rock. I would like to see him do different stuff, though. I'd like to see him do a more emotional role, like a deeper role where he isn't just like the guy who smiles
Starting point is 00:19:47 and everybody's happy and everything. I need him to be hurt. And in Walking Tall, he gets hurt. And I really liked that. That was one of the first movies of his that I saw, and I was like, this is actually a fucking good movie. This is good. And Johnny Knoxville is real funny.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Johnny Knoxville has a lot more acting range than people realize. For sure. Like even in The Ringer, when he wasn't being hilarious, pretending to be retarded. 2005. He did have the little character arc at the end where he like got emotional and all that with the girl and everything. The Ringer is when he pretends like he's retarded and joins the Special Olympics, but it's a lot like the South Park episode where Cartman realizes that not only are they not like pants-on-head retarded,
Starting point is 00:20:30 they're just disabled children, but they're actually decent athletes. And Johnny Knoxville becomes friends with all these kids, and the kids are played by kids with actual mental disabilities and physical disabilities. And a couple of them are very good actors. The one kid with Down syndrome,
Starting point is 00:20:46 like he's got a lot of quips. With the big Coke bottle glasses, he's funny. He's very funny. He's a good actor. It's a good heartwarming, heartfelt movie because of course he has a love interest who's like, I don't know, she works for the games too.
Starting point is 00:20:58 And then she finds out that, you know, he's pretending like he's with her and like bonding with her. And then she finds out, he's like, but actually though, I'm not retarded and I love you. And she's like, what the fuck? You're a monster. You're a monster.
Starting point is 00:21:14 And he has to be like, no, no, I'm not. Even though like. Mosaic Down Syndrome is almost a ringer. So I know about Mosaic Down Syndrome because my manager had a kid. And if I recall correctly, his kid didn't look like he had down syndrome but did and it's a different kind of down syndrome well down syndrome to my surprise is a spectrum thing right and some people get hit hard with it and uh and you know their their muscle um firmness i'm there's a term for it yeah it's so bad that they just never have any strength they never have any strength,
Starting point is 00:21:45 they never have any cognitive development, and it's rough. Some people get it light. Some people only get the look of it, and they're actually pretty smart inside. And some people get the vice versa of that. So you're talking about this guy who had Down syndrome and coat-foul glasses, but was actually a pretty good actor. I bet he's not that dumb.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Yeah, remember the guy from Ozark the young man Who has down syndrome but obviously He's acting in Ozark He's the son of the lady who owns the Little gas station fill up Yeah You definitely see that a lot and then Merrill Howard Kalin is somewhere
Starting point is 00:22:20 In the middle Is he the guy that played Corky Merrill Howard Kalin Is the chef is somewhere in the middle. Is he the guy that played Corky? Is he the one in... Merrill Howard. Kalen is the chef who was doing all that food with the dirty chicken. He had the public access cooking show.
Starting point is 00:22:35 He's like, today we're going to make chicken. He's cutting all this raw chicken up on this board. He's like, now we're going to make salad. He's making the salad on the same cutting board. He's got raw chicken goo all over his hands as he's touching the salad it's like this is not safety but i liked about the ringer rest in peace like the uh yeah r.i.p merrill howard caitlin but how he went into it not just thinking he'd dominate physically but he's like oh i'm gonna have all these these retards wrapped around my finger and within like the first half hour, he kind of figures out like, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Not only did I not have control of these guys, they're manipulating the fuck out of me. Like, so like he's getting outsmarted by them. Cause they figure out that he's right away. Like, yeah, they know they're like through the charade,
Starting point is 00:23:17 not retarded like us. And he starts giving her, they give him tips or he's like, dude, you're trying to grab her tit and you just look ridiculous you're laying it on too thick nobody's gonna believe that do this and like then he's like over the top retarded so he can grab some nurses big tits or something johnny that's how you do it like look at howard he's a master that's funny it's because like you you go into it thinking
Starting point is 00:23:48 it's going to be the kind of movie where it's mocking the disabled really it's mocking johnny knoxville more than anything and so get away with it yeah the disabled kids end up being the surprising like like stars of that movie in a lot of ways they're they're they're all good actors um despite their their shortcomings and uh and they're really funny and and not in a lot of ways they're they're they're all good actors um despite their their shortcomings and uh and they're really funny and and not in a way that like degrades them i guess or it's it's not me it's not like we're not laughing at them we're laughing with them the whole way it's good i like that movie it's funny now that everyone looks at entertainment i know that's an older film but people watch everything and they're sensitive to like girl power references social
Starting point is 00:24:26 justice warrior references sometimes they're not even there like i don't think aria killing the night king was like a yeah i am woman hear me roar moment she was just aria it was just a bad plot but there are a lot of people who were angry at game of thrones writers because they felt like they were just bowing to letting a girl do it or something and and now i'm i'm pretty innocent of that with regards to entertainment but i'm super guilty with regards to murder if you tell me that some guy just shot a church with nine people my first thought is like who'd he vote for huh what was his motivation maybe not my first thought but it's in my head it's just if I hear a bomb was sent somewhere, I'm like, oh, which side of the political
Starting point is 00:25:07 spectrum was that bomber? Because half of the times these things are motivated by that worldview. Did the bomb work? Yeah. Republican. Yeah. Could be. Or Muslim. Ah, they're also good at it.
Starting point is 00:25:24 That community is a very strong Republican base. Or Muslim. Ah, they're also good at it. They're good at it. That community is a very strong Republican base. I need to Google that. We are the right-wing jihad! Hillary Clinton will never rule over us!
Starting point is 00:25:41 That'd be a real, like, what's that meme where the guy's like sweating and there's two buttons yeah yeah I had no problem with Arya doing it Arya was set up to be such a badass I watched last night sometimes they take like
Starting point is 00:25:58 sword fights from movies and even that silly stick fight we watched of those Polish farmers and they put lightsabers in their hands because that makes it cool. I saw that, but it was Arya and Brienne. And I had forgotten how good that sword fight was and how on her game Arya was. It was just a little throwaway scene, but it was pretty good where you got to see that. Because Brienne they've established as truly badass.
Starting point is 00:26:21 She beat Clegane, a woundedgane but you know she beat him the hound um and then you know so we knew that brianne was was up there with the best sword fighters in the world aria on the other hand like we knew she had spirit but we didn't know you know how well she won v1 all we saw was also the champion struggled with the waif that's right she was also the champion in renly's uh like like big competition to decide who would be his like uh like protector or whatever like she beat um uh what's the the gay the gay ones well renly was gay but the flowers yeah the knight of flowers he's also a badass his name is uh yeah marjorie's marjorie's marjorie's brother I have so many thoughts
Starting point is 00:27:05 On Game of Thrones I will try to hold off For two more days We did a good job we haven't talked to anything current We're reminiscing back to when it was good Remember when they took the Knight of Flowers The best looking man in the whole show And carved his fucking head up Good god that was awful
Starting point is 00:27:20 But he wanted I'm thinking of Lancel Lannister He volunteered for that shit yeah oh man what what a great show that used to be his parents the lannisters are habitually bad parents it seems like none of these kids are growing up well adjusted like you're in the richest family on earth and you leave for a dirt rag cult with a star on your face that's that's a lifetime decision how old was he though like 20 i i think he was like 20 he was supposed to be like a young adult where i'm just saying at some point you stop blaming the parents right like like you know
Starting point is 00:27:59 if some 32 year old goes out and does a bad thing do you blame parenting or that guy? and look the worst thing that happened to Lancel by my memory was Cersei fucked him a lot alright I'll take that damage but he didn't want to do that he was one in the family who was like you know I'm not going to say
Starting point is 00:28:22 anything about you and Jaime fucking but you incorporating me into this is making me very uncomfortable. And she's like, shut the fuck up. I'll tell people you came on to me if you don't fuck me. Whatever I want. And he's like, okay, I guess. Oh, you know what? That rag cult is starting to look pretty dope right now.
Starting point is 00:28:41 I don't know. I don't know. If you're like Cersei Lannister, I think you'd be down. Dude, that's a thing. So, like, you'd think Game of Thrones would launch a lot of careers, right? But by taking 10 years, it almost consumed a lot of careers.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Right? Like, the childhood actors are not childhood actors anymore. Now they're adult actors. Bam. That just happened. Someone like Cersei, what's her next role? Unless she's going to get these Queen of Hollywood Meryl Streep roles or something.
Starting point is 00:29:12 She's done being anyone's love interest. She's pretty typecast. And she's older. I mean, she played a great villain in Dread. So long ago. Oh, she was in 300 that was long ago too she was hot that was like five years ago 300 can't be five years no 300 is like uh like
Starting point is 00:29:33 they made a second 300 i think she was in the second one too uh i don't remember if she she may have been in this i don't know the second 300 was really terrible so that's a bad example really terrible really terrible um but i don't know. It's going to launch some careers and some people will just be typecast. It's a mixture of both. Obviously, Sophie Turner is in the new... I think it's going to be awful. Sophie Turner was in X-Men before Game of Thrones, I think.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Who's... Emily Clark, I'm thinking of her. Amelia Clark. Amelia Clark. She's a bad actress. Oh my god, a bad actress. I'm not going to say the scene. Okay, yeah, bad actress. Look, she's a bad actress.
Starting point is 00:30:09 And look, she does a fine job at playing the Khaleesi. All right? But if you watch her outside of that role that we know her as, she's just bad. Like, she played Sarah Connor in a Terminator movie recently. And it bombed so badly that they were just like, well, we had a trilogy planned, but now we're just going to do a whole different thing
Starting point is 00:30:29 where the real Sarah Connor played, like Linda Hamilton comes back, who's 50, and Arnold Schwarzenegger comes back, who's like 70, and they'll make a movie. Those are like accurate ages. Yeah, they are. He's older than 70. Because Amelia Clark was so bad it was
Starting point is 00:30:47 such terrible casting for amelia clark to be sarah connor because sarah connor is one of science fiction's heroines she's one of the baddest women in sci-fi there's like ripley from and anybody who's who goes on about how like women have been like misrepresented or they're always like damsels in distress watch fucking alien watch fucking sigourney weaver be a badass bitch for like a whole slew of movies and all right a couple of first of all they're 61 and 71 i think i just looked up 62 and 71 so about right um and yeah dude so there's two kinds of badass women you can have fake ones which i'm cool with right you can be a badass women you can have. Fake ones, which I'm cool with, right? You can be Captain Marvel. You can be, you know, like Arya Sansa.
Starting point is 00:31:29 This is a fantasy sci-fi. Everyone can do that, right? That's cool. And then if you're a real-life badass like Ripley, that I'm down with too. All she had to do was, like, carry a gun, express bravery, rock that, like, mech warrior thing. They never had her beating androids in arm wrestling with no reason to.
Starting point is 00:31:50 No, she never beat up a man. She never did anything outside of like what her physical capabilities were. She was just brave and she was cool and calm under pressure. When everybody else melted down and literally froze in fear, most of the time anyway,
Starting point is 00:32:04 she showed bravery, which is like, she's terrified. Of course she's terrified, because the xenomorphs are terrifying, but bravery is like working through that terrification. Works for me. The terrification.
Starting point is 00:32:19 I wouldn't be surprised if you said that at some point. They were like, Mr. President, actually, it's the war on terror. When you said he he i thought you were doing wings imposed upon you you are terrificated yeah and linda hamilton linda hamilton in my memory for my memory was the first woman to ever get beefy for a role like like in in terminator one she is the damsel in distress and she needs saving by Kyle Reese from Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator. It's more of a horror movie.
Starting point is 00:32:48 And, but, and he sort of trains her as the movie goes on and he tells her like, there's a day coming when like we have to fight for mankind. You, you know, your son is going to be the savior of mankind. Then he dies.
Starting point is 00:32:58 And she's, she's like, Oh shit, I'm pregnant with the guy who told me about this kid. And she's like, well, my mission in life now has to be the train the trainer for him that kyle was for me i have to raise a son to be a soldier and the only way for me to do that is to learn how to be a soldier so she got boyfriends wherever
Starting point is 00:33:14 she could who were these badass motherfuckers and got them to teach her so she could teach him and by terminator 2 she's in that psych ward doing chin-ups with the like ripped as fuck her back she looks like a ufc fighter she's as muscular if not more so than like rose namajunas or yoana before her i think you're right i was scanning the the the steel cage up here yeah rusty and full of holes the old woody imdb yeah and man who was a badass girl before now i'm sure there's been action heroes um so if you yeah if you go back to aliens actually it was prior to her well ripley ripley didn't get get bulky though until like maybe uh alien three she was kind of jacked um and but that was kind of bad um but but uh if you go back there was an arnold schwarzenegger movie i don't remember if
Starting point is 00:34:03 it was might have been conan the barbarian it was where there is a black chick in there with like a like like her like half her ass is showing all the time maybe three quarters like just the middle part is covered and she's got like a a mohawk and she is ripped she's like a a real amazon uh and uh and but but you know that was a weird kind of movie she wasn't doing a lot of acting but that was a weird kind of movie. She wasn't doing a lot of acting. But this was a case of an actress becoming that. Whereas I think the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie was more like, here's a super athlete we can put in our movie, which is what they did with Schwarzenegger anyway. I was going to knock women for a moment for rarely doing what Christian Bale and lots of other people are doing. Joaquin Phoenix? How close am I with that?
Starting point is 00:34:45 Joaquin. Joaquin Phoenix for The Joker. He's done a little body transformation there. But how many women do body transformations? Bridget Jones Diary? I thought... Actually, we only want one kind of woman, right? As hot as you know how to be. That's true.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Yeah. If a woman gained like 70 pounds for a role, people's reaction would be like, oh, gross. Or if they got like anorexic looking. Look at the dedication. Stuff his face for five months. Renee Zellweger gained, I'm going to say 40 pounds for Bridget Jones Diary. She went from a size 2 like maybe a size 14.
Starting point is 00:35:26 She got big for that role because her character is supposed to be big. Who did that? Renee Zellweger. Is she the one from Show Me the Money? Who's the? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Jerry Maguire. That's what I'm looking for. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know of her. Yes. She got some plastic surgery. She's looking a little odd now. I know of her. Yes. She got some plastic surgery. She's looking a little odd now.
Starting point is 00:35:46 You know who? So I feel like I'm one of the more forgiving people of people that age in Hollywood, right? Because people age. Hollywood actors and actresses are not immune to aging. Shelley Long. Do you know what she looks like now? She played Diane in Cheers. She hardly looks like Shelley Long anymore.
Starting point is 00:36:05 She aged poorly. I'm going to look for a link. I'm going to get you a before and after of Renee as well. Shelley Long 2019. I did 2019 Shelley Long.
Starting point is 00:36:21 The second one. The one with her in front of the blue background I clicked on the link link Oh I just went to images Me too but if you click on it you can't see it So we'll have to flip back one Renee became a different person Well I mean Cheers was the 70s wasn't it 80s 80s okay she just doesn't look like an old version of her oh i see it in there i see it in there right but the bangs don't help
Starting point is 00:36:56 unless you had bangs in the show so people i'm looking for a young her. It's the jaw that changed. She had such a, it's a beautiful, well-defined jawline. And then now it's just, I mean, that happened. Not a great look. I mean, she's older than me. This makes her look like nothing. Check out Shelley Duvall from The Shining. Oh, no, Shelley.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Tragic actress Shelley Duvall has hit rock bottom. Do I have to look at the video? I just linked it in here. There's just a photo of her. You don't have to watch the actual video. You can just see the picture. The only way you can even tell it's the same person is the teeth.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Oh. I can't show it to people. Her teeth were jacked up back in back in the day though they've always been jacked up and do my best and they weren't even jacked up she just had big teeth i mean i'll share x like clip it and then just give you that link if you want that would be great yeah yeah then i'd be able to because if you click on the page he linked it doesn't have a picture on it sorry find it uh i'll have it in just one second yeah kyle's on it says she wants her career comeback well i did sorry shelly i don't think that's gonna happen unless kathy bates dies
Starting point is 00:38:18 and that vacuum opens up you're nah you're kathy bates is much hotter than her kathy bates is also a fantastic actress she sure is shelly devol was an amazing actress like like if you go back to see how um uh how she was treated on the set of the shining like i was watching some behind the scenes the other day and she's very emotional like she's having a hard time and uh um stanley kubrick and i guess some of the cast the the crew are crew are like, it's going to be okay, Shelly. All right. You know, we're gonna, we're going to shoot for a couple more hours and then you can go back to the blah, blah, blah. And, and, uh, Stanley Kubrick comes in. He's like, don't, don't you sympathize with her? You stop that. That's no good for your performance. And
Starting point is 00:38:58 she's, she goes, and it is no good for you. And she's like, yes, it is. It makes me feel better. That's the problem do not sympathize with her he wants her like strung out and emotionally distressed as she goes into the acting play like because you know it's the scene where like nicholson is hacking through the door and she's like holding the butcher knife ah i see both sides of that you know like it uh i don't know i don't want anyone to suffer but sometimes did the same things yeah and the birds he had that blonde lady whose name escapes me um she was actually being attacked by birds in one of those scenes like she's in a room with birds pecking on her and stuff and she's flipping out and he also was always trying to fuck his leading ladies and
Starting point is 00:39:43 he you know he was a slug monster. Oh, slug monster just meaning he's ugly and fat. Yeah. You know, do we have any sympathy for the fat rapists of Hollywood? They're just using the tools they have. Depends on the amount of talent they've got. It's all on the spectrum.
Starting point is 00:40:03 I've heard that for music music too, right? Like, I don't know if, like, shit, who's a, Carly Jaspin, who's saying Call Me Maybe? If we found out she was horrible, Carly Rae Jaspin maybe, I don't know. We just cast her aside. It'd be no problem. But with Michael Jackson, we've got a real problem on our hands. You know?
Starting point is 00:40:26 Because he did some brilliant music along the way. R. Kelly. R. Kelly's done some terrible shit. Chris Brown. Chris Brown has done some horrible things. But his music has been good enough that, you know, he's... I've got a problem with Chris Brown. I can't get any writing done with you coming in here and eating in my ear.
Starting point is 00:40:50 That's so good. I love that scene where he's backing her up the stairs and she has the bat. Give me the cake. Give me the cake, sweetheart. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna bash your brains in with it
Starting point is 00:41:08 that is such a good i need to re-watch that movie oh it's great one of my favorites one of my absolute favorites uh have you ever seen the documentary about it no no but i the to your point earlier about this the kubrick thing he was apparently like hitchcock and that he did that in a ton of his movies where he would intentionally like stress out and antagonize actors to try if they were meant to be stressed out and antagonized in the middle of it to try and I think Hitchcock was even worse about it. Hitchcock was very bad. He would actively like borderline commit crimes like be like I'm gonna stage like a robbery of this person's trailer to get him really stressed
Starting point is 00:41:44 out before the scene it's like honestly like i am an actor just just tell me my direction i like to think kevin spacey was doing that they were potential actors i understand but you know he wanted to see how they looked under stress young boys my understanding that frank underwood was a pedophile. I'm a method actor. Much like Daniel Day-Lewis. Do you think I derived any bit of pleasure out of molesting those boys? Well, then you don't know me as well as you thought. I've been watching
Starting point is 00:42:13 these videos of Kevin Smith doing what I won't call stand-up. He just tells stories about his Hollywood experiences. And he's talking about what a douchebag Bruce Willis is. It's so fun to watch like like him talking about being on scene with bruce on set with bruce willis because he directed the movie called cop out which is bruce willis and um oh that black guy from from um oh what's his
Starting point is 00:42:35 fucking tracy morgan and it's bruce wasn't tracy morgan buddy cop movie and like like like kevin smith just couldn't direct this guy because he was so outrageous. And I guess like they were having some kind of an issue also about like the next Die Hard movie. I know this. And there was just a really funny moment, which I didn't think was a douchebag moment of Bruce Willis. I thought it was a cool moment where like Kevin Smith was hearing them talk about the problems with the writing in the Die Hard movie. And he's like, look, give me a laptop, a couple hours, and I'll fix this. And he's like, get a laptop. And so they get him a laptop, and he
Starting point is 00:43:09 fucking writes all this shit that they needed, this scene to pump up this one character in the new Die Hard movie, and they send it off to the executives at Fox or Paramount or wherever it is, and hours go by, they don't call back. Finally, they call back, and they're talking to Bruce, and they're like, we don't like it.
Starting point is 00:43:25 It's this is no good. This is supposed to be funny. You know, this is supposed to be funny. And Bruce is like, oh, OK, let me ask you this. Who's your second choice to play John McClane? That's what I thought. He knows his market value. It's the most like I'm glad that Kyle got it right
Starting point is 00:43:45 because it's exactly what he said who's your second choice to play John McClane and you're just like after you it does fall off quite a bit this is like Die Hard 3 he's a couple in you're kind of the crux of the series if I tell you
Starting point is 00:44:01 that John McClane wants to become a Russian ballroom dancer, you're going to send that script to me, aren't you? And they'd have to. They'd be like, well, now it's about a Russian ballroom dancer. Talk about aging in Hollywood. I feel like Bruce Willis did it right. What Bruce Willis did is he turned 40 at around 28, right?
Starting point is 00:44:21 And then he just stayed there for the next 25 years. He's a bald, tough guy in his late 20s, and then he just hovered there. He had a nice, long action movie career because that's him. I like there was a part, even in that Kevin Smith thing, where Kevin had wrote into that stuff
Starting point is 00:44:40 he was typing up, like where the bad guy calls Bruce Willis cue ball, and Bruce Willis' writer is there with him like looking Over his shoulder like like giving him pointers and stuff. He's like ah You don't remove that so what what they're insulting each other going back and forth Yeah, but Bruce insults you you don't insult Bruce and especially not about the hair. Yeah, really hair Not you mean he doesn't like his iconic look Well, this is at the point where he's bald. This is like Die Hard 4, where he's full-shaped head.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Oh, that was like the Honeymooners he got bald. What was the show he was on? It was the Honeymooners, I think. I think the Honeymooners is the one where Honey, I'm home. I like Blind Date. A big fat guy. You ever seen Blind Date? I've never seen that, no.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Blind Date is where he goes on a blind date with Kim Basinger. Gorgeous, beautiful woman. And he can't figure it out. He's like, why have they... She's like, you know, I have such a hard time dating. And you just keep getting these signals that like, there's something wrong with Kim Basinger. And this is like 80s Kim Basinger.
Starting point is 00:45:39 She is incredibly beautiful. And they're having a wonderful day until she starts drinking and alcohol sends her into like this insane zone where she ruins the night to the point where he's in jail and his car has been destroyed and he's been fired from work on one date on one date he gets fired from work his car which is like a nice mustang is destroyed and he is in jail beaten up. That was the night for him. Blind Date is a good movie. It's a good movie. We watched The Fifth Element last night.
Starting point is 00:46:11 We did a group watch of The Fifth Element with Bruce Willis. I haven't seen the first four. He's bald in that. That movie was forever ago. Well, he's not bald. He's got the thing right here that's his trademark. He's got that...
Starting point is 00:46:23 He's got a little hair in this. This is 97. It's only like 22 years ago. Yeah. I need to see it. When I hear bald, I mean, at this point, he's embraced it and it's like shaved. Yeah, yeah. He's got a shaved head.
Starting point is 00:46:37 But he had that piece of hair in the middle, whatever you call that, for decades. What was that movie called again? The Fifth Element. piece of hair in the middle, whatever you call that, for decades. What was that movie called again? The Fifth Element. Mila Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Bruce Willis, obviously, and oh, who's the other one? I can't think of it, but Gary Oldman does a
Starting point is 00:46:57 kick-ass job. Actually, you're right. He has way more hair in this than he does in my memory in that. Damn! Who is that? Is that Chris Tucker who does that, or is that Aziz? They both do that. He still has more than a five head in this than he does in my memory in that damn who is that is that chris tucker he does that or is that a z's that's damn do that he still has more than a five head in this like oh yeah i'll link it when i'm looking at but mila is hot as fuck in that movie dude the perfect specimen yeah um mila jovov jovovicvovich. He's 43. Patrick Stewart talked about losing his hair.
Starting point is 00:47:30 And he was like, like everyone would ask him, like, you're this sexy bald guy. You own the baldness. You do the, you get question after question about being bald. And he's like, look, stop it. It was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me. In my 20s, my hair fell out. I am what I am. Let's move on and you can go back to dune and and i need to look up what your dune came out he's has the same hairline in dune as
Starting point is 00:47:54 he had his captain picard dune came out and wait it's coming out in 2020 so i guess that's 65 apparently wow or maybe that was the book maybe that was the book i'm sorry it's 84 i'm stupid i'm stupid yeah it's 19 in 1984 he had the same hairline he had his captain picard which was actually only like six years later but still uh it it went early and it was gone and it wasn't a bad look for him he's a a great looking bald man. Dude, he's just good looking. So you could rock that, right? In the same way that like, terrible clothes look good on models.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Yeah, everything looks good on her. Yeah, Dune is being remade. I've been talking about this. You've been very excited about Dune. Yeah, and you explained the combat. It's the best sci-fi ever written i think maybe i hope i like it i i was forced to read the book at a time that i was too young to read that but it was seventh grade and seventh grade woody wasn't particularly a very good student on top
Starting point is 00:48:55 of that i i don't think that it's a book for whatever 11 year olds isn't it a very violent book yeah yeah absolutely i was was barely keeping up with it. I'm like, something about spice that everybody wants. I hope I pass this terrible quiz. A little hate for Dune was planted in me as a child. This movie is starting in a hole. Yeah, Dune spans
Starting point is 00:49:22 34,000 years of recorded history that's all fiction that starts with earth and goes with us populating the stars um and uh you know inventing all this basically the movie was originally like there was originally like a five or six hour cut it got shaved down to a couple hours the movie's not very good We're all very hopeful for the new movie. What I like is 34,000 years of history. That's going to take more than 90 minutes to tell.
Starting point is 00:49:51 I'm not going to be able to pop in and pay a little bit of attention. I'll miss whole eras of history. They focus on a very small part of that. What I mean is, for example, Game of Thrones, you can go back to the Andals and the First Men and all that shit. But that's not in the show and that's not in the books, right?
Starting point is 00:50:08 It's just part of the history and the mythos of the whole thing. But Dune is more about the struggle for the desert planet Arrakis, also known as Dune, where the spice melange exists solely there. And the spice extends people's lives to like double normal it gives them like abilities in some cases it allows warp travel to any instantaneous travel to any part of the galaxy it's very sought after and valuable and whoever controls that planet they're
Starting point is 00:50:36 calling the shots and it gets given to these Atreides the Atreides dynasty family whatever and then there's a big coup it's very Game of Thrones like in a lot of ways. I wish they didn't call it spice. Because 11-year-old Woody wondered why it was important really at all. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:51 It's like saffron, but tastes even better. Yeah. It's like pepper. I don't know. Isn't there enough to go around, guys? Yeah. You guys are really, I don't know, take some risks and go through long efforts to avoid bland food. And Paul Atreides is like the chosen one.
Starting point is 00:51:09 He's like a mix between Luke Skywalker and Professor Xavier. Like he's just this blue-eyed, literally glowing blue-eyed, like superhuman. It's good shit. Because he ate so much spice. Yeah, because he was in the spice environment so long and to such a high concentration and also he's literally like genetically like predisposed to be a superhuman like because of selective breeding and there's a lot that went into making paul atreides the badass motherfucker he is he's like the perfect human i'm reading a new book reading as in
Starting point is 00:51:42 audiobook yeah it's called the name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. It's pretty good. Probably it's well-known. I don't really know books that well. But this book is epic, and it's 27 hours long as an audiobook. The guy that recommended it to me consumes a lot of content like this. He says it's the best one he's ever seen. I kind of wish it would turn into a movie.
Starting point is 00:52:10 There's a lot of good source material out there that i wish more people were into yeah i i hope i'm i thought hbo was going to be picking up the dune thing but then someone corrected me and told me that it was going to be a movie uh going forward hbo do not go picking up series thinking that ger martin is going to finish it in time. Because he won't. Yeah. But maybe pick up something that's already been completed. Yes. Like, you know, something that someone's already finished up. What?
Starting point is 00:52:34 So there's not some. You know the Western one? I think they say maybe Motherfucker a ton. You know, it's older than that. Oh. Blood something? Deadwood. Deadwood is it.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Why didn't that finish? You cocksucker. All right. So he got. All right. Sowood. Deadwood is it. Why didn't that finish? Deadwood got cancelled back in the day on a bit of a cliffhanger. We've talked about how much we hate the cliffhanger because it was very... It wasn't meant to be cancelled. No. They're making a movie though. HBO is making a movie.
Starting point is 00:53:03 It's coming out soon-h and they've got all the timothy oliphant the guy who plays the sheriff who's like a badass is back i thought that the actor who played swearinger died but i saw him in the preview for this so maybe it's a flashback a cgi character or maybe i'm just stupid and the motherfucker didn't die but they're making a movie hbo is uh and and it's coming out soon-ish like maybe this year and the and the new series from hbo that's also been promoted a good bit lately is the watchman they're making a watchman series i didn't hear anything about that well it's in the previews for game of thrones is that a big uh fan base that like the watchman is it a marvel movie or it's dc it's it's within
Starting point is 00:53:46 the dc universe um but it but it's sort of it's sort of an alternate reality like it like batman doesn't exist in this world um it's it's a whole different thing it's very dark um uh i don't know if you've ever seen the movie but there's yeah i thought i mean i haven't seen it since it like probably within a year of it coming out, but I remember at the time thinking it was pretty good. Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot. I think Woody and I both like it a lot,
Starting point is 00:54:12 and we prefer the extended version where you get to see the blue guy's dick, and, you know, it's a lot longer. That's the only version I've seen is with the guy's dick. Good, good. You want to see that? That's what they had in theaters. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Well, maybe the extended version gives more than the dick. Maybe it gives some other stuff, too. Just additional dick. They add a couple inches. I looked it up. I wanted to know. Ian McShane is the actor's name, and he's not dead, but he's 76. Okay, cool. I thought someone key
Starting point is 00:54:41 to that show died. It's possible. Now, it was hard to look up because Swearinger turns out to be a real person. I'm like, died in 1904. This doesn't compute. They got him. Then how did he play this role? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:58 So yeah, there's a couple interesting properties. And then I've mentioned that Halo thing is being made into a a series by showtime that's a game i want to play kyle has got me invested in the story i want to play co-op with colin that's the experience i'm looking forward to and it just feels like it's taking forever i mean you can play it on xbox if you want it that's not the experience i'm looking for like how and i are both kind of keyboard and mouse gamers right now cool and uh that's where we want to be it'll be a while and then you'll have to wait for the second one and then the third one but but it's a wonderful story they made it seem like
Starting point is 00:55:28 i can't get release dates but i had it in my head it was all night 2019 i think i i had that in my head too and maybe that's the case um you if you if you want to just watch it like a movie you can watch all the hd remastered cutscenes on YouTube and it's like 40 minutes. I even searched it and found it and decided not to, but I might go back on that. It's real good. Yeah, I might go back on it. If nothing else, maybe if I knew it better, if I wasn't seeing it for the first time
Starting point is 00:55:58 then I could help Colin enjoy it too. Yeah, it's good shit. It's a wonderful, wonderful story. It's my wonderful, wonderful story. It's my favorite video game story. Yeah, I don't know. We played... There's a new game called Mordow, which is like chivalry. It's the new chivalry.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Oh, we heard about it on... Spider Pig was talking about it. Yeah, yeah. Spider Pig got me to buy it. We played a little bit last night, really late into last night. I don't know. If you like chivalry, you'll like this.
Starting point is 00:56:31 First person slasher, I guess? Medieval combat. There are many classes, and you can even do a custom class. Name a medieval weapon, and it's there. There's rapiers and long swords and daggers and cleavers and bows and arrows. Is it $60? $30, $35 35 something like that um it's pretty cool in the preview i didn't used to be very price sensitive on games you know because i always felt like i got a lot of value out of them
Starting point is 00:56:55 but now that i buy a copy for colin it's like 120 this better be good yeah yeah and then you feel obligated like you give it the benefit of the doubt even if you don't like it that much like okay i guess this is all right this is all right i definitely don't want to feel like an idiot there's a new borderlands coming out and we were just so so on it and probably you guys is like intelligent adults don't think the gun system is very complicated but for colin it is you know for him to be like all right this mech's mission is going to have a lot of robots so we're going to have to have like, all right, this next mission is going to have a lot of robots, so we're going to have to have acid weapons. This acid weapon is not as good as that fire weapon,
Starting point is 00:57:35 but in this mission it's better because robots don't care about fire. There's a lot to know. So I was always managing two people, and it wasn't a good fit. Yeah, Mordau is difficult to play. There's a lot of parrying and countering, and it has to be timed perfectly. You have to wait until their sword is on the way to parry, but they can fake an attack.
Starting point is 00:57:56 So they'll like, eh, and you'll parry, and then they'll, sasa! And it's very high-level combat. You'll get into these 1v1s with a guy that'll last like 40 seconds, which is an eternity in a sword fight. And he'll just pump. I'm not good at it. Yeah, this looks difficult. I'm just watching the tutorial part, and it looks hard.
Starting point is 00:58:14 I played the tutorial, and I accidentally killed my horse. I was like, oh, just like the horse at Skyrim, huh? I went off a rock that in real life was maybe eight feet. But in a video game, you're like, eight feet is nothing. The horse fell dead. And they don't give you another horse. And the trainer is like, come on, hop on your mount. Let's see what you can do.
Starting point is 00:58:36 And I'm like, the mount's dead, sir. Come on, hop on your mount. Let's see what you can do. And I'm looking at the dead horse crumpled on the ground and looking up at him and looking at the horse and looking up at him. I'm like, hop on your mount, sir. Let's see what you can do and i'm like looking at the dead horse crumpled on the ground and looking up at him and looking at the horse and looking up at him i'm like let's see what you can do that's all he's got did i catch you in the dome too many times all right i'll hop on but i don't see where this is going that is the opposite of skyrim because like i i think they fixed it kind of quickly with a patch after skyrim first came out but there was like no fall damage when you were on a mount for a while and so you could just like be up there
Starting point is 00:59:09 talking to the gray beards you know a trek that took you 30 minutes of frost trolls and getting up there and then once they're like all right here's your foos rodab powers you could just be like well i'm just jumping off the mountain until i get back down just oh shit i can just fall the whole way that was great that was one of the funnest parts of that because you know how in video games like you'll feel like damn it there's just a wooden door right here and even though in your head you know if I smack it with this bat a hundred times, that's not what the game is. It's not going to fall down. But you always hit it a few times just in case.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Yeah, a fence, exactly. But in that, it was... Yeah, that's the way it was with the horses. Man, I wish they would come out with another fucking Skyrim game. I had so much fun on that. It was kind of a glitch that the horses climbed so well in Skyrim, but everyone loved it so much they kept it. That's what I learned from Reddit.
Starting point is 01:00:06 I hope it's true. I like that in Skyrim, unlike a lot of different games like that, you could be like, ah, looking up at a mountain face and be like, I don't want to fight all those dragons. Maybe I can like skip, hop, jump my way up this way you're not supposed to go. And like 60% of the time, you're like, well, fuck, it worked. Like I could just, all it takes yeah like i i could just all it takes is like 20 minutes and hitting y a lot i played skyrim live with fans and uh i might have
Starting point is 01:00:33 been peak woody's gamer tag at the time so and and youtube live was a little it was a little um glitchy compared to what it is now so So if people left a lot of comments, they would fall behind. Well, oh my gosh. The comments fell like 90 minutes behind. Like really late. And they're telling me to check behind the waterfall and this and that. And I'm long gone from that part. Sometimes I'd trek back like an hour trying to get the thing that they were telling me to get.
Starting point is 01:01:04 And it was, i don't know people still say behind the waterfall to me sometimes i got uh it was like mock ragey you know i was all up like animated and stuff about it i wasn't all that mad really but behind the waterfall they once they saw me get all animated they just kept saying it and saying so uh good times on skyrim kind of i played it wrong yeah so much fun i haven't played this morgan thou or mortau game does look really cool aesthetically yeah i mean if you want to learn mouse and keyboard that'll fucking teach you i feel like if i can't play normal mouse and keyboard i'm gonna get butt fucked in this
Starting point is 01:01:40 i mean you're gonna get butt fucked no matter matter what you just need to pick the game that you want to get butt fucked in you should play the AI first I don't even know if there is AI I think this is just a multiplayer game in general if I wanted to learn mouse and keyboard I would start with something that wasn't PvP it would be PvE play fucking Skyrim
Starting point is 01:01:58 I haven't busted out Skyrim in forever I don't even have that on PC it's cheap as shit I'm sure it is now. That game's like 10 years old almost. Do you have it on calculator? Yeah. I'm going to play it on my iWatch.
Starting point is 01:02:14 I'm going to play it on my TI-83. That's how old that fucking game is. Yeah, play Skyrim, man. That would definitely teach you. You got all the buttons in there. You just need to learn. I can't wait to talk about Game of Thrones on the next PKA. Yeah, it's going to be cool.
Starting point is 01:02:27 I'm over it. I'll wait. I'm looking more forward to us talking about it than I am the next episode. I'm over it. It's lost me completely. Well, we'll save the reasons why for Thursday night. Alright.
Starting point is 01:02:43 PKN 246.

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