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So I just spit it back in there.
PKN 258.
How's everyone doing?
Having a great day?
Having a great week so far?
I guess it just started.
Yeah, yeah.
Having a good day.
Having a good day.
Anybody go to church yesterday?
Yeah, of course.
I go every Sunday.
Yeah.
I mean, I was not far from a church, probably.
That's a fair bet anywhere in America.
There's a church or a synagogue or a
town or whatever i think it should count yeah but i went and spoke to the lord and i've uh
i've got a couple friends that started having kids and they're like it's an anomaly almost
that all of them or most of them at least are like, yeah, I'm not religious.
I know you're not, Taylor, but I think I'm going to start going back to church.
Like I'm going to bring my kids to church because even though it was sucked and it was boring,
at least it kind of taught me like not to fuck with people and to be well behaved and how to sit and be quiet and all that.
And I was like, at first I'm like, dude, that's fucking dumb.
Like, what are you thinking?
And the more I kind of dwelled on it, I was like, yeah, even if church was really boring, it kind of kept me in line.
Because I would go to school and be like, man, I've got a lot of little 10-year-old Taylor, a lot of jokes going around in his head at everything people are saying.
But I didn't want to go to hell.
And so I spent most of my time terrified of hell instead of causing mischief.
That's a good childhood.
That's a good childhood.
I think that's what I want my kids to have.
That's just quality parenting.
It's like how you tell a kid that you better be nice or Santa Claus isn't going to get you anything.
You come up with this fictional character who will punish them magically if they do things the wrong way.
will punish them magically if they do things the wrong way.
Except this situation is less about holiday cheer and season's greetings and fun and more about paternal damnation and zombies.
Well, you need a whole year round solution.
Like Christmas, how long does that work?
A couple months prior?
If that, a couple weeks prior?
Woody probably knows this firsthand.
You know, the threat of no of no santa sure yeah i was like is that an age joke i don't know
no because it was like you're the only one of us with kids chuck oh okay okay uh but like jesus or or allah or whatever you know that keeps it going year. That keeps the fear of God in you 24-7 all the time.
Is there a Santa Claus in the Islamic religion?
I would think that a white guy flying overhead, dropping packages,
they wouldn't respond to that well.
No, they would not care for that.
They probably would like it.
Who is he to watch me in my private times?
that he probably would like it right who is he to watch me in my private times i mean i can't how can you not like santa you know he's just doing nice things yeah and apparently
saint nick was a real guy didn't ever give out presents not one and think of how much that guy
if he could see where he is today what the the legend behind him is, that's got to be the biggest turnaround from real life to lore in the history of the world.
To be a ho-hum kind of, you know, he helps orphans sometimes, Saint Nick, some like Finnish dude.
And then hundreds of years later, you're the biggest name on the planet.
Coca-Cola adopted you as a mascot, for Christ's sake.
Like, that's a big turnaround.
That would be like me being known for something other than this show when I'm dead.
It's probably not going to happen, right?
Probably not.
This has closed a lot of doors for us.
This has closed a lot of doors for us.
Yeah, I'm never going to run for politics.
It's true.
And I think part of you maybe, and correct me if I'm wrong like now that you're getting like like into your maturity and older you're like i
could do this i could have done politics like i really could have run and done been maybe not like
almost like a wantrepreneur have you heard that term wantrepreneur yeah yeah yeah people for
people who haven't it's these guys who talk about oh starting their own business all the time and never actually do it i maybe i'm a wantrepanition if that's a thing i i haven't
done anything that would lead towards starting in that direction but i follow it enough that i
think that it could use a person who's not so awful and i feel like like the more i look at
professional politicians the more i'm like these people are as dumb as a bag of rocks.
I feel like it's more the campaign people and their handlers behind them than it is even them in a lot of instances.
Where I'm curious.
So getting that job involves a certain amount of charisma, right?
You have to win a popularity contest between every two and six years.
That's how you get the job.
How did some of these people get that job?
Like Cummings, the Baltimore guy who's in the news recently.
I'm like, how is no one able to compete with his charismatic draw?
How does he get elected time and time again?
I have no idea.
Is he doing great work?
That's possible.
I don't know anything about his district in Baltimore.
Baltimore is doing not great.
What does that have to do with federal politics, right?
They act like his job is to clean up rats and trash.
It's not.
He's a federal politician.
You need to be talking to the mayor about that.
His job is literally not to clean up trash and the shit that Trump is-
The mayor's like, oh, that's not my job.
You want to talk to the sanitation commission.
The commission's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You think I'm going door to door and getting the bags of garbage?
You want to talk to Big Mike downtown.
Big Mike's like, whoa, whoa.
I got a whole landfill of garbage out there.
We can get as much as we can.
You want to talk to Larry in the truck?
He spills it.
He spills it. Larry he's like if they fix the
damn trucks you know i got kids throwing bottles at me you finally get to the bottom you're like
well shit they're at least they're doing something i get your point but cummins job really is to like
vote on wars and national budgets and federal level shit it's not about trashing rats and shit
like that what blows my mind are the people like
mccain who were in there for so long where like they keep getting elected over and over and over
even after shit like the iraq war where he straight up was like nah for sure iraq did this
definitely stamp two thumbs up we're going and then like like four whatever how many years later
you know three election cycles later people are like you know what no this guy's still pretty cool he's still probably the best we
could do like he definitely didn't lie us into wars and do all this i think i think once you've
got that name recognition and that whole political machine behind you you're just almost a shoe in i
think sometimes people i'm sorry what do you have a name to build onto what kyle is saying sometimes
i think people vote as if it was a test you know like who is your current congressman oh it's price i know this one yes
and they just did i win
i'm great at federal quizzes you know and i know all the answers oh hey are you uh are you guys
watching the boys on Amazon?
Is it like a mini-series show? It's a series.
It's very good.
It's our world
except there are superheroes
and they are
sort of gone corporate.
There's like a big corporation that runs
the superheroes.
The superheroes are all sort of, a lot of them are sort of versions of our superheroes. And, and the superheroes are all sort of a
lot of them are sort of versions of our superheroes. Like there's one guy who's like clearly Superman.
Like all right, he flies laser, laser eyes, x ray vision, very strong. He's called Homelander.
And he's wearing like this American flag situation. And he's like he's he puts this he seems like the best guy ever and there's one guy who's clearly Aquaman and
And everybody kind of looks down on him because because he's like come on what I talked to fishes. Nobody cares. I'm
Buddy cares and there's one of them's clearly Wonder Woman and
Basically these this group of guys who are just regular people,
not heroes of any kind,
are tired of the collateral damage that's coming along with superheroes
and the immorality that they see in some of the superheroes.
They start trying to take the heroes down.
It's pretty good.
I'm about six episodes in. The special effects
are great. It's very violent.
Very gory at times.
It's definitely R-rated.
It's a good fucking show.
I'll need to check this out
because now that I finished Barry, I need
something else to jump to.
This looks like it could be neat.
It says black comedy.
A dark
comedy show, kind of like. It says black comedy or like a dark comedy show.
Kind of like Barry. Does black comedy mean
dark comedy?
Yeah. It means like
ironic dark humor.
I've heard of
dark humor before.
I always thought of black comedy as high school reunion.
The WB network
comes to mind. I don't know if that's the entire network
i don't know dude i haven't had tv in like 20 years but it's like the wb network is literally
like the black martin lawrence show everything latifah yes yeah yeah that was their whole lineup
yeah a lot of those judges black yeah yeah. Yeah all those shows. Well, this is pretty good. It really is. Uh, it's pretty legit
Uh, it's one of the better things I think amazon has made thus far
Um really good acting I think I recognize quite a few of the actors. Um, I can't I can't think of their names
It's those actors like yeah. Yeah, I know you from the thing and the other thing but I don't know the names
Uh, I don't think there have been titties yet.
It's a real shame there haven't been titties.
There has been a spot of rape.
Just a spot of rape.
One of the superheroes gets Me Too'd.
There's a hilarious bit. That's pretty funny.
That involves a dolphin.
There's a lot of stuff going on.
They are kind of rapey.
All of the heroes are just real pieces of shit.
Really?
Yeah.
Most people would be if you were a superhero in real life.
Exactly.
The fantasy we have of some guy who's like, man, when I was nine, I figured out that I could summon fire.
And so I decided to save the world.
No, really, it'd be like, every bank on earth could be mine.
You know, you go in there and just burn know go in there all right fire summoner the best way you could help the earth is not running around doing hero shit
we now have a new power plant devoted to you sitting at a cube charging turbines all day
yeah that's probably what it would be yeah yeah we're gonna hang you from the bottom of a jet
and just fly over in areas of the Middle East and you burn.
Well, it's all about money.
Like I said, they've gone corporate and there's this big corporation.
And they're like, you know, they sort of bring in the mayor of, I think they literally bring in the mayor of Baltimore.
It's kind of funny.
We were talking about that.
And she's like, look, we've got the perfect hero for you.
He's Nubian Prince.
He's scoring at 47% with Caucasians,
68% with black Americans. He's got the power of speed and super strength, and he'd be great for
you. For only $300 million, we're going to move him from Detroit to Baltimore. Now, Atlanta is still on the table, so I'm going to need a decision.
It's like $300 million.
I was thinking $200.
It's like that.
They're big deal.
What they really want to happen, they want their corporate superheroes to be in the military
so that they can go worldwide and start and start going overseas and doing things
you know and it's it's pretty interesting i want to see it yeah yeah i want to watch this now what
are like the what are the price points of like the to your heroes where it's like this guy
is going to cut down on loitering uh if you take aquaman i'll throw in a million yeah it's like
sports teams where like they're trying to stay under the cap They're like, you know, I'll pay you to take Aquaman, you know
We'll get ice boy for free if you take him
They've got like a whole cinematic universe like like as well like there
I think they're the vault corporate corporation or or something like that and they have the the Vought cinematic universe and they have all these
superhero movies starring real
superheroes though
so they don't need special effects and their movies are and it's just just like how in our
world the marvel universe is just the biggest thing out there biggest thing going that's how
it is here and and like all the different superheroes have movies and there's a list
b list c list d list celebrities um you remember the kids in the in the sixth sense who was you know i see dead people he
kind of grew up and become a became a chunky like short an attractive person that kid's face stopped
growing during filming for that movie it did some weird stuff well he's in it and and like they do
like these flashbacks he was a child star in this universe too but he was like the the the mesmerizer
he had this law and order show where he could like
touch people read their minds and like be like this is the rapist and and and so he's grown up
and he's at like a comic-con type thing like signing autographs and like the fat this big
chested sort of overweight woman comes up to him. She like shakes his hand. She goes, you know what I'm thinking?
He goes, I'm thinking the same thing.
He like writes his number down for call me.
Oh, so he actually was like,
that's his real power in the universe.
Yeah. See, that's the thing.
Yeah.
That's what they've done with these people
who have super powers.
They just put them in movies and TV shows
and build their like public image. And and they don't they save on special effects because the guy can
really fly or the girl can really shoot lasers out of her ass or whatever it may be
how interesting could a crime show where the main protagonists can immediately know what you did
like how interesting could that be yeah that's what i what I was thinking too. I think we got the guy.
We're going to take a look at, actually, don't even
bother asking questions. Actually, you know what,
Mayor, you can fire the Inspired department.
It gets interesting
if the guy's corrupt.
Like, oh yeah, Taylor did it.
You're like, no, I totally didn't.
Like, you son of a bitch.
You have to flip around. It's like, actually, no,
I have the same power.
And he raped that woman.
Or whatever.
But there's this support group at one point for people who have suffered from collateral damage incidents.
And the guy's like, I had a bit of a tryst with a, well, let's just say an ice-based superhero.
And someone goes, ice queen?
He goes, I don't like to say.
Anyway, we were in bed.
And right at the moment of her climax,
she turned to ice, just for a second.
But at negative 347 degrees,
that's the same temperature as liquid nitrogen nitrogen and I was still inside her and that's so funny it snapped off it
snapped off it's really dark it's Christ so what do they have they addressed like Everybody goes, ooh, oh, Jesus Christ.
So have they addressed the sports problem yet?
Have any of them got caught trying to play in the NFL and they're like, yeah, you son of a bitch. I've had that fantasy so many times.
You have to join the boys now.
You can't play for the Titans.
It's more profitable in this universe to be a hero than a sports star.
That's the thing.
than a sports star. That's the thing. They do have at one point a race between the world's fastest man and the world's
maybe new fastest man. And they do
a quarter mile track like we would do.
But they just go, boom! And they're there.
He's literally running like 800 miles per hour or something like that.
And then they have to look at the computer is like ah
Point zero zero two seconds winner. You know they said they sort of competed. You just make the race longer. Yeah
I it was shocking. They didn't just make the race longer. Yeah
I'm not sure why they just did one lap. Yeah around the thing that the race was just instantaneously over
I mean if you were smart you'd keep it under wraps. You'd be like
the super strength guy, and you'd
get big enough that you could
fool people into thinking, like, this guy might be able to
compete at World's Strongest Man. Just because you have
super strength doesn't mean you have super muscle, so you'd have to
actually get it. And then you show up,
and even though you can bench
press 30,000 pounds,
the guy to your left, second place,
he's putting up a thousand or
900 you add 50 pounds don't go crazy give yourself room to grow don't even win every event you can
win you know four out of five three out of five events just go like go up to the stones and
you try you can't lift it or pretend not to be able to lift it but also if you're going to do
this pick a sport that's not strong man so so you can actually get rich I would think yeah
Yeah, I think so too. Yeah
You go like a Joe Rogan route and sell a bunch of protein powders because if you are the best in the world you probably
Make a good bit. It's it's very dark. There's there's one part where like this sort of D list female superhero. She's really hot
Her she can't pay her landlord she's like maybe
we can work something out and so they they do that sort of um scenario where she catches him
like rifling through her underwear drawer with a like ski mask on and she's like you're in big
trouble and he's like punish me punish me and she's like for her rent and she like sits on his
face she's like she's like eat my ass you
dirty pig boy say it you're a dirty pig boy who likes to eat ass he's like i'm a dirty pig boy
she's like yeah yeah yeah pop and she looks down and she squished his whole head in the pulp with
her asshole and she's just like fuck oh god no what was her power super pussy
her power was really lame she had these spikes that came out like right here like between her
sort of this area and like went forward she was called pop claw but they're also you know
apparently she had pop but as well well you know it's like aquaman is still stronger than any human
whatever so she had super
strength in there yeah yeah okay and uh is that just kind of like a boilerplate one goes without
saying they all have that yeah it seems like they all have varying degrees of like strong as
it's it it's it's i really like the show i like superhero stuff and this really takes in a
different direction a more realistic direction i think, but still keeping it funny.
Like the Zack Snyder movies kind of try to do that,
where like there's no public outcry about Superman
and like, hey, let's arrest Superman.
He destroyed a building when he was saving the world.
This it's more like, maybe we need to arrest Superman.
God damn, he's just sort of killing willy nilly.
Like, you know, the bad guy will be like, oh shit,
God's here, I give up.
And he's just like pulls his heart
out of his chest or like snaps their neck like they don't take any yeah they just like i took
a toaster oven for christ's sake is it you're really gonna kill i mean the that spike power
seems more like a handicap well she was like a d-list celebrity she a superhero uh you know
she was she was definitely on the lower tier. Is Wolverine's a handicap?
No, Wolverine's cool because he gets to heal real fast.
She has this...
She's super strong and she has claws.
I'm calling them.
Are they always out?
No, they pop out when she
wants them to.
Pop claw? Clearly they pop
out.
Don't think of them like like traditional superheroes were like, Oh, yeah, he can do this.
So he's, he's good.
He's, he's, he's, you know, popular.
And this you need like a corporation behind you just like a real celebrity, like with
writers and TV, PR.
Absolutely.
You could be a pretty good superhero just underappreciated.
Oh, absolutely. They're that Yeah, you know, and there's, there's what they call the seven, which is absolutely so you could be a pretty good superhero just underappreciated oh absolutely they're yeah
you know and there's there's what they call the seven which is like they're like justice league
or avengers there's like seven of the best superheroes and and like they're they need a
new one and that's that's how the show begins when they need a new they need a seventh member
of the seven like this guy retired or whatever.
They pick this girl from the Midwest. She's kind of
bubbly and naive.
She's sort of one of the main characters.
It's a good show.
I'm digging it. It's definitely worth watching.
I don't know how many episodes there are. I'm kind of afraid
to look. There are eight episodes.
Thank you.
Well, I mean...
Now you can... The last one is named pop claws demise
no spoilers all right well i got two more episodes to go
i'll wrap that up in a little bit are they hour long hour long 52 53 minutes something like that
so a lot of content and like maybe some of them are even
longer maybe i'm wrong about that or maybe this felt long it seemed like when i got to the end
of episode two i was like damn that was only two episodes i feel like i got like a lot of content
here a lot of shit just happened i think i'm gonna like this i usually the opposite of you i don't
like superhero stuff that much but this angle on it because it seems more realistic.
Yeah.
Because you're right.
I've never thought about that before, but that's exactly what it would be is you'd have to have a giant-ass PR firm behind you because it's like, well, you know, Speed Demon, you'd cause a lot of collateral damage, and we're going to be the ones that make sure that isn't the main story picked up by the Times or the Washington Post or whatever.
That's the first episode of the show.
You just described the first episode of the show. I'm a little naive perhaps because, one, I think I would be good.
I hope I would.
I hope that they wouldn't corrupt me.
Who knows?
Not you.
Yeah, not me for sure.
I wouldn't.
I would rob someone.
I feel like I would just be like, look, if you don't want me taking on intergalactic terrorists because i
ruined the sidewalk then next time i won't i'm fine with that yeah but then it's also times where
it's like i'm gonna go my girlfriend's been kidnapped i need to save her and you flying
through buildings and destroying whole subways and like thousands dying and it's like you know
you did save your girlfriend but you killed 3100 people it's actually the deadliest you
beat out 911 my man remember in the second matrix movie where neo is trying to fly fast
enough to catch trinity who's falling out of that skyscraper backwards like shooting
her guns back up an agent and he's flying so goddamn fast like through
between skyscrapers that he's created a vortex behind him of just cars that are just sort of
like sucked up in his whirlwind like just moving along with him and tumbling that's what would
happen in real life but i would just want nachos just he's just doesn't instead when kyle the flash myers decided he really really really wanted some nachos
you know yeah you guys could fuck is it kyle's fault or postmates fault for taking 30 minutes
in the first place they're not even good they're not even good They're calling him the Postmates Killer. And we all know who he is, but we can't catch him.
That's the thing.
Is it Spider-Man?
There's a couple guys who hide their identity just so that you don't know the rest of their life.
I want to say that is Spider-Man's motivation.
Yeah, sure he does.
Because they would go after his mom and his girlfriend and stuff like that.
Yeah, they'd get Aunt May, her sexy ass. What the heck is his girlfriend's name? that yeah they get uh they get aunt may yeah her sexy
ass and the heck is his girlfriend's name which one she's he's had a bunch uh mary jane watson
mary jane is what i was going for but um but he's had a few yeah yeah most of them have secret
identities and they're doing this too despite having the corporate going on and having a public
image they'll still have you know like maybe you don't recognize them when they're not all dressed up in costume or whatever how effective is like a um i don't know how to
describe like an aquaman mask you know just the one that does your eyes like almost like a one
you for sleeping but with eye holes in it yeah like every so often i see people wear them in porn
and i'm like does wouldn't her co-workers still recognize her only if they
like watching triple penetration butthole porn there's just someone sitting across from at the
office like wait care oh yeah i it or nana yeah and because camera work's usually not top rate in the first place.
This is a homemade scenario I'm talking about,
not like a...
I can't even think of her name.
Remy or something?
There's someone who's super hot.
Yeah, that's who I'm thinking of.
Remy LaCroix.
There's no hiding that face and that quality of filmography.
But the homemade stuff where the camera's across the room,
they're trying to get the whole couch in case they move around.
And the woman has a mask on of some sort.
I'm like, huh.
Might hide it.
Especially, you know, add eight years to her or something since it's an old video.
She could probably go say it's not me.
Yeah, I always use big masks.
I use the full over-the-face kind of deal or one of those frightening like plastic sort of blank stare kind of mask.
I mean, my mask obviously needs to be strong enough to hold the ball gag.
Otherwise, it just doesn't meet the requirements.
You want that big leather one that's shaped like a dog's face and has the zip up snout.
Yes.
It's a full latex outfit, really.
Oh, those are fun.
They're calling him the pup.
Like, look here at this street camp.
And now fast forward one second,
every single person at the gay pride parade had been raped.
The fastest rapist in the West.
Yeah, that would be it.
Some of the superheroes are actual rapists.
That's a core part of the show
and the narrative that you find out after a while is like,
several of these superheroes are going around raping.
You've got to be a fucking loser of a superhero
if you still have to rape.
You'd have groupies.
Even Charles Manson has women who want to fuck him.
Yeah, but it's not about getting fucked. It's about fucking whoever you want. Like you should, like you, you're like, you'd have groupies. Even Charles Manson has women who want to fuck him. Yeah.
But it's not about getting fucked.
It's about fucking whoever you want.
And they've got that sort of thing built up.
Like I'm on the king, man.
Who are you to turn me down?
Like, you know, and then they get mad and it, you know,
rapes about power, not, not sex anyway.
So they lose it and they do some raping.
It's a dark show, dark show.
I don't want to spoil anymore anymore but there's a really fun i'm not going to but they're trying to kill a superhero
who's basically unkillable and the way they come up to do it is fucking hilarious
well don't ruin it i will watch this. It sounds interesting. Most of you guys were probably not in the Hangout, listeners that is.
But Kyle said that the super car he's talking about building is kind of a go, that it's likely to happen.
Any update on that?
Still true?
Yeah.
Well, basically what I was saying was like the only thing that might hold me back was I wanted to see if my dad actually wanted to work on it.
Oh, right, right.
And, you know, work on it with me and do it at his shop.
Because I like working alongside him.
I'm no wings of redemption.
I am an apprentice mechanic.
I need a master mechanic next to me being like, yeah, you want the Allen Crescent or whatever the fuck.
And so, yeah, he said he was down.
I showed him some pictures of it.
He thought it was cool.
The other thing I got to look at is if it'll even go up my driveway, honestly, because it's a steep driveway.
I got to look up the clearance on that thing thing because if it's two and a half inches that
ain't gonna work can't you just like modify the right like the driveway yeah so the driveway
people can't see i'm doing an angle with my hands right i assume it's the apron
can't you just like level it out a little bit you know put a log in the in the hole well i don't live in the
country um you know two by four get fancy i mean they get upset if i don't cut the grass on time
i don't know if they're gonna like that wall of two by fours that that i've that ramp i've made
into my driveway okay okay in my head i have you in one of your previous homes where you probably
get away with that a little more yeah i, I can't do that. So,
but, but yeah, that would be the only thing that would keep me from getting that particular car.
I'm going to do some kind of kit car though. I think I'd like to build something from scratch.
And in the past I've always restored cars like, you know, old Camaros and Mustangs and,
and even older cars, 55s and 35s. But you're dealing with a lot of rust and a lot of someone else's repair jobs that have to be
unrepaired and re-repaired and starting with something that's fresh and just sort of bolts
together would be kind of refreshing just like legos yeah i am i used to do a lot of automotive
work but it was off-roading and nothing was ever the same shape twice you know like you're taking
off that skid plate and you're putting it back on not without a pry bar you're not you know that that's a job yeah that's that's interesting stuff
the off-roading stuff uh my dad used to do this thing where they would take trucks and like climb
really steep like muddy hills like there was like a pit or something that everybody would go and
everybody had various kinds of sort of off-road hill climbing buggies you know
oh i think that the toyota is the way to go it's got the posi traction all-wheel drive you know
this this and that and they've done this and the roll cage did out and you know those hills would
be so goddamn steep yeah that seems fun to me yeah yeah i enjoyed it i am I got pretty into it. I get into stuff when I get into stuff.
Yeah.
But yeah, there's a new Corvette.
Have you paid any attention to that at all?
I saw a picture of it, literally just a still image.
I saw it had like side ducting.
It's mid-engine, which is the big story that everyone saw.
So it's interesting for most automotive and business perspective so
Corvette has kind of a stigma and it even exists in my own head that it's an
older person's car their average driver I think is 64 or 65 which is pretty old
as an average like that's that's old so they're trying to attract a younger
audience which is also dangerous because
you're losing your current audience perhaps they've been talking about doing a mid-engine
corvette for decades now and finally it's a reality they showed the car it's it's on sale
next year so it's not too far away and uh i guess the performance is higher. The price is comparable. It's like 70 grand as opposed to 65 grand, if I recall.
And yeah, I don't know if there's a new Corvette.
I'm not going to get it, but I follow it,
and I find it interesting both from an automotive and business perspective.
I've always been a big fan of the Corvette ever since forever, really.
I remember being in high school.
It looked good.
Yeah.
Yeah. I feel like Chevy is kind of brave with their corvette styling and like even the one that's available right now which you'd think would look a little dated to my eye doesn't you
know it's like a starship it's it's cool as fuck the new ones at least is cool and people are
talking about it like i don't know if these old guys will like this styling it
doesn't have quite as long a nose because the motor's not there and i'm like i don't know how
they wouldn't this thing is amazing yeah it looks badass to me i've always thought those are really
cool fucking cars uh even in the 90s uh they were pretty fucking cool i didn't like that when they
had the pop-up headlights the bubble generation in general is not my cup of tea but they're still
pretty cool i prefer it like when they went to the bubble headlights like i like that a lot um
i like that briefly they had that on the camaro before they stopped making the camaro and it was
that's yeah like it was like 98 or 99 i think when they started doing the not bubble like like
corvette is but but definitely like a bubble because they
went from having like that slit that was already always open with the headlight sort of inset to
like just like a double bubble type thing like two ovals squished together and uh and i i was like
oh the camaro looks nice now and then they're like discontinued no more camaros will be made
i was like fuck all right i might be using the term
wrong like for the automotive world but like a bubbly car to me is like the mustangs before 2005
you know kind of like all rounded a little yeah uncool in my head there's a generation or two of
corvettes that just didn't have any sharp edges and looked a little a little too fluid you know
for my personal tastes um this newer one to me looks like a
corvette had sex with a kuntosh or something and just came out with this awesome somehow
aerodynamic and angular car it's neat it's really yeah looks i love those cars i like crazy looking
sports cars you know even the mustangs are great now they have been for a while though i say i say
now but they've been great for a long time.
And everything's fast as fuck now.
There was a time, like even in 2005,
that 2005 V6 Mustang,
it was like 265 horsepower, I want to say.
That's not a lot of power.
I mean, it's fast.
Well, it's like a normal V8.
You could zip around.
A normal V8 then was 300 horsepower. Like the, the GT Mustang then was like 300 or 305 horsepower, but you're not getting
that to the rear wheels.
So maybe even a little less, but 300 now it's, it's, I mean, everything seems like it's coming
out with 450 to 650 horsepower.
If you get the really fancy one,
like these crazy amounts of power. Yeah. My truck is 400. It might be 395, but call it 400.
And it's an outrageous amount of power that I'm shocked that I actually have. And the new Corvette
is 500. I think it might actually be 490 something but we'll call it 500
and I'm like that it's more obviously and of course it's super light I understand that's
probably the base model Corvette like if you get the Z06 I bet it's probably I bet it's a lot more
they did say something about a different exhaust so they think that but I was like 500s outrageous
but the fact that my like regular person truck is 400 i'm like that just
seems like it's in the same league then again i know the weight difference but yeah horsepower
ratings have changed huge they i don't know what happened to engines in the last 10 years but they
all went bonkers yeah they well they started supercharging a lot of stuff um i don't have
any of that.
That was one of the reasons I chose the V8 and the Ford line.
Getting slightly off topic. But I kept my last car for 15, now 16 years.
And I was like, I don't know if I want a twin turbo V6.
I'm not sure that's going to do what that old Toyota did for me.
Man, I'm looking at this new Corvette.
I was just trying to find out how much horsepower
the Z06 would have.
Oh, okay, okay.
2020 Corvette.
It's just beautiful.
I'm on roadandtrack.com.
It says here, I'm rocking 184 horsepower.
Nice.
Yeah.
It is really nice looking.
It's a Corvette,
but man,
styling-wise, it's right there
with the supercars
coming out of Europe. It's crazy.
Yeah.
The 7-speed is the top
three overdrives from Exotic.
I'm trying to find
what the... Yeah, they've only released numbers on the whatever's below the ZO6.
Let's see it.
Whatever that is.
And then in 2002, Cadillac revealed the stunning CN concept.
These are just concept cars they're talking about that they may incorporate designs for them.
But, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if the Z06 is 700 horsepower or 750 or something crazy
like that.
Because usually when they step up, they'll throw a supercharge in those things.
That's what they did with the Mustang back in the day.
Like I said, there was that, the V6 Mustang that was like 265, the GT that was like 300,
305.
And then the Cobra or the GT500, that's what it was.
They didn't do the Cobra or the GT 500, that's what it was.
They didn't do the Cobra that year. The GT 500 was like a supercharged five liter engine maybe.
And it had 550 horsepower in like 2005 and a lot.
Just 2005.
Yeah.
In that car too.
It is just a lot of horsepower.
What is it that has gotten so much
better in the last 10 like 14 years like kyle's saying superchargers and stuff and he's not wrong
but like naturally aspirated five-cylinder v8s like mine are 400 horsepower so it seems i mean
i don't know shit about cars but that seems like a lot of advancement by percentage of increase in
horsepower over the course of a very short number of years.
Yeah.
So, so like, I feel like from 1980 to 2005, they doubled.
And then from 2005 to 2015, they doubled again.
Yeah.
I think it is the gas mileage.
I think it's using a lot more, I think it's using a lot more aluminum, uh, and, uh, and
doing higher compression, uh, rates inside the engines and probably better computer systems.
And that makes
sense probably that stuff being more efficient with what they with what they have because it's
not like the engines are getting more gigantic it's not like they just did what dodge did back
in the day and they're like hey let's just take that big ass engine we got in the in the truck
and put it in a car shaped like a it'll be awesome no we don't need air conditioning we
want it to be fast
what do you mean the exhaust won't fit underneath it just put it on the side of course it'll burn
your legs but they're 80 000 to explode they don't care yeah the tires need to be three feet wide of
course they do the viper was that's what makes it cool. I heard it was hard to drive.
It was hard to drive.
The clutch was like fucking doing leg presses.
I've never driven a car that's hard to drive.
I've never driven, like, I'm told that if you sat a regular person like me in an F1 car, they literally couldn't drive it.
Like, it's too difficult to work the clutch.
Yeah, I can believe it.
But I've never seen a car that I couldn't just hop in and drive.
I wonder what it gets you. You could hop in and drive it.
It's just like you're very low to the ground.
It's hard to see out of it.
Is he kind of spinning out the rear end at red lights and stuff?
Those guys are not real men, though.
I don't know.
Some people just haven't driven a lot of manual transmissions in their life.
And maybe they've got a weak leg, too, and they're're just dropping the clutch as long as you ease out on the clutch and then i'm not gonna give a
tutorial on how to fucking yeah yeah you know if they're gonna do that fast stuff like you
can't go from zero to a hundred and i'm talking about percentages you have to experience what 10
15 and 20 is like so that you know where the trouble is. Yeah. Yeah, so some people just I mean I've seen plenty of people not
Get into a car that's way too fast for them and lose control of it right away and spin it out or
Lose control of it start fishtailing and hit a curb or something like that
And of course you see plenty of those videos on YouTube, you know people fucking up. I need something is one thing I mean
one thing I've noticed like with switching to a car with a like smaller less fast engine is like
Like I not that my old car was that fast
It was faster than the average car out there because they had like a five vent v8 Hemi and whatever
I never even looked up horsepower
I don't fucking know and but he could get going it got loud and it got going quick and now in my current car
It's like all neat. I'll try and overtake someone and i'll be like oh shit i'm not gonna make it oh shit that guy's got a that guy's driving a faster car than
me i'm just gonna fall in line behind him i used to drive a ford focus and they're probably faster
now but i had one of the early focuses i'm like this thing's a great idea it's been winning awards
out in europe so i'll clearly love this car i always
hated that car i hate it demoralized the best guy but like you're pulling onto a highway
it takes its own kind of driving skill not out of control power lack of power you gotta make
sure you're clear for like a quarter mile back because you're not approaching highway speeds for some time you'd down shift switch lanes accelerate and it got you you expect the car to go
and like like give you that power and that torque and it goes yeah like it just it starts winding up
it's like whoa whoa whoa what where's where torque? Where's the power? This thing is so underpowered.
I never liked when I had to drive a Focus to do anything.
If we were going to pick up a car from across town and bring it to us,
we might go in a Ford Focus. Two of us would
go and one of us hops out and gets the other car. We're playing paper, rock, scissors.
No, no. I get the Camaro.
I'm bringing the Camaro back.
No, no, fuck you.
No, it's mine.
I'm not coming back in this.
How does Kitty like her car?
She's had it for a while now, right?
Yeah, the Nissan Juke.
I'm the one who drives it, of course.
She rides in her car.
Those are those very, very little SUVs, right?
It's a smaller SUV.
I wouldn't say it's like a micro suv or anything
it's it's uh but it's it's like so smaller than the rogue because nissan's got the rogue and
yeah okay it's a little squashed faced car it looks like a frog that's literally yeah
really and yeah she bought like the most expensive one so it's like turbocharged all-wheel drive
it's actually fun it's fun to drive like it's not a sports car
it wouldn't compete with my car or anything like that but when it's got the um the transmission
where you can pull it over to manual mode and like downshift and you ever use that yeah yeah
i never use that okay it's fun you know and it's got like a it's got like three different driving
modes like economy normal and sport and If you put that bitch in sport,
throw that transmission over an automatic,
it's pretty fucking fun to drive.
It really is.
A good thing, other than not being able
to race people, as I was always doing,
is
I'm blown
away by how much gas mileage I get
now. Not because this is
a titan of gas mileage, but because my old car was so fucking bad much gas mileage I get now. Cause not because this is like a Titan of gas mileage,
but because my old car was so fucking bad with gas mileage.
Like I'll fill up and drive for what feels like weeks on like one tank.
And I'll be like getting in my car before I go somewhere or on the way home
from a road trip,
like my grandparents house.
And I'll be like,
well,
yeah,
baby,
I got to stop off and get gas.
Oh no,
I don't.
Wow.
Okay.
Like this is nice.
I'm saving a good bit of money, I feel like.
I'm not saving money, but I have a giant gas tank.
I get between 600 and 700 miles per tank.
Now, of course, there's 36 gallons in there.
So when you fill your tank up, it's like $110.
Oh, yeah.
So every once in a while, like this happened this weekend, I filled it up.
I come back.
I'm like, ah, this is one of them shitty ones that stops at $75 instead of full.
Yeah.
I've told the story a few times, but I always wished that I had pulled that prank on Scott and Jeremy that time.
We go on these road trips, and the deal would be everybody drives a tank of gas before they stop.
That was just a good way of doing it rather than time or distance because you never know.
Gas mileage kind of told the tale of how much work was being done by the driver more than anything I felt.
And you could do about 425 miles before it was about time.
Doable but a good haul.
Yeah, it'd probably go 460 and run out,
but we'd go about 420 miles
and we'd stop and pull over and get gasoline.
And I was getting some accessories
put on the truck one time.
I was getting like a bed liner
and one of those plastic bed lids, bed covers
and some other things.
And I looked and he had a gas tank there
that was 115 gallons or something like that
that would swap out
into my truck and i was like what if i put 115 gallon gas tank in this bitch and told no one
and i was like yeah you do the first tank jeremy this will this will take you about 3 000 miles
with that go 115 by 18 maybe? Roughly?
By 17?
It would do the whole trip.
That's like 1,700 miles at 15 miles per gallon.
You could drive across the country almost.
Can you imagine?
Like nighttime has fallen.
He's just like, I don't know.
It says we still got half a tank.
This is like, what's the name of that Jewish holiday
where they just had more
and more fuel?
It's literally Hanukkah.
Hanukkah.
I wish I'd done that because that would have been such a funny
prank. Everybody knew it except
for the one guy driving.
Normally you do like three
or four hours of driving and he's like into
hour 12 or something like that.
Like, the fuck is happening?
I've still got half a tank.
Yeah.
With my truck, like I've done it.
I've partnered with people.
You have to kind of bitch out.
Like, it'll do 700 miles if you can't go as fast as you want to.
Like maybe traffic's holding you down in the 60s or something.
You'll get 700 miles out of a tank.
And that's, to me, a lot to go without stopping.
Usually at some point, I'm just going to be like,
dude, I'm getting dangerous.
Can we switch?
Because it's too much.
At four hours, I start feeling a bit of discomfort.
And that's when I like to swap out,
especially if eight hours doesn't complete the trip.
It's not like the trip is six hours, and if I manned up and did six total we'd just be there if the trip is three or four days then at four hundred when i start
feeling any discomfort i'm like all right my neck's stiff my back hurts let's let's swap out
and we'd usually do about four four hours each that's what i meant to say um four hours each
and that's when i start not enjoying myself.
I've done those Florida drives
where I'm by myself though
and it'd be 10 hours or whatever.
And that's awful.
I usually stop though.
Like if I do a 10 hour drive,
sometimes I'll get out of the car for food,
you know, for the lunch.
I start getting that mode where I'm just like,
I just power through this.
I can be there at
seven you know if i if i just don't stop for anything except for gasoline i can be there at
seven if if i stop and piss three times like i need my diaper where are my diapers at no i it's
a safety thing for me like i feel like you know if i'm leaving at eight i usually didn't get a great
night's sleep by the four hours in it's lunch time and i'm like it the smart move is to pull over yeah yeah for sure i hate i hate those
road trips i hate driving long distances and it's it sucks dude it's so easy right the worst part
is how boring it is though just put your head on the window close your eyes i Kyle, I appreciate you.
I was a goddamn workhorse.
That was like the Oregon Trail.
I was ruined, though.
Everything Kyle's ever said about that trip is true.
It's funny, me picturing for the first hour or two,
Kyle's like, he'll wake up.
He'll switch off.
And then it goes from hope to just by the middle
you're like seething like where does he get off so let me just turn my side of
it at the time I uploaded videos every day and I don't know it was a
self-imposed thing but I felt like if it did a video aged like five days it
wasn't as good you know it's supposed to be kind of topical and current.
So what would happen is I'd make like three or four videos in the last day.
I think I was up till 4 a.m. getting all my work done before Kyle got me.
And I was ruined because I had to do the YouTube stuff in advance to make the trip work.
I don't remember how long I drove.
I think I drove...
Was it all of it? It might have been all
of it. I literally did all of
the driving, but I'm just trying to think what
the stretch of time was. I hadn't
even considered that you didn't start at my
house, but you did. Oh, no.
Yeah.
No.
I was deep into the drive
when I picked you up.
Actually, I do that drive a lot now
because I go pretty much to where I used to live a lot.
Let's see.
Let's see how long it is.
It's five hours.
I'm literally going to do from my town to Boston.
That doesn't do it because that would skip Raleigh.
That's true.
That'll give me some.
It makes it a little worse.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
It was just, it was a long drive.
It was a long drive.
It was.
We got there.
And we got back eventually.
We went the wrong way at one point on the way back
for whatever reason.
I probably messed up the navigation.
There were two of us in the car to mess.
I don't know specifically what went wrong.
I do know I was in the passenger seat, and that is the navigator, so that's a thing.
I also think that somewhere along the way, like another address got punched in or something and it wasn't my EPS.
So I wasn't like,
I could have used a little proofreading.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't know exactly what happened,
but I do know that I think we were in Delaware.
Yeah.
At some point I'm like,
are we taking a ferry home?
I don't remember the ferry on the way here.
There was a time when the geography of delaware
literally came up and we were like yeah i think we're out on a peninsula now i was gonna use that
word yeah yeah is is there like a 200 mile channel at some point to get back to the mainland or are
we literally gonna have to take a ferry i i i and'm just like, there wasn't a ferry on the way up here.
I know you were asleep, but there were no ferries.
And keep in mind, this is the way back.
We're trying to get home.
The trip's over.
Oh, that's even worse.
The fun's gone.
It's late at night already.
Like, you know, whatever, 10 p.m., 11 p.m.
And, like, we're not four hours from the
destination we're oh yeah seven hours at least like a 10 hour drive we're six hours in with
maybe eight hours left that's how we knew something was wrong that's exactly is that
the same one where you drop woody off and you get a few miles down the road and his phone starts ringing yeah just what you said fuck fuck i just don't remember
what happened i dropped woody off at his house and i'm like all right man i'm gonna try to make it
the rest of the way home tonight so uh i'll i'll see you on the show this week later good trip good
trip he's like yeah good good times man see you later he gets i leave him in his driveway and i
get back on the interstate i'm on the interstate highway and i'm driving i hear
and i'm like i reach into his floorboard and i'm like jackie is calling and i'm like
oh i left my phone in your car hello hey kyle um yeah i know i'll be back i put it all together Hello? Hey Kyle. Yeah, I know.
I'll be back. I put it all together.
And I literally slammed on the brakes on the interstate.
Like,
went through the median.
I'm sorry.
I'm just like,
and I'm just like,
it's all right.
You only drove 25 minutes.
So 25 times, wait, that's no, it's 25 times three.
Cause 25 and the 25 back in the 25,
you only wasted an hour 15.
No big deal.
I didn't make it home that night.
I got to, no, I got to South Carolina.
I got to South Carolina, like maybe an hour and 30
from my house.
And I was just like, it's dangerous time now.
The sun's been up for a while.
I might as well stop at this rickety motel and get some actual sleep.
I've had so many of those.
I aspire to make it the whole way.
I'm too tired.
I feel like I'm a danger.
And it's like, well, sun's up.
This tractor trailer in a random Walmart is throwing a bit of
shade I'll park here and try and sleep I just stopped and got a hotel room and
mr. fancy pants you don't sleep in the shade of a semi trailer oh normally I
just find a nice place to dig a hole in the woods and throw a little bit of cold earth over me. That keeps me fresh.
Last weekend, I guess for some reason,
I think the hotels by Lake Hartwell won't be full.
I'm learning they fill up.
Two out of my three weekends, they have.
So I go to the first one, they're full.
I go to the second one, they're full.
And I'm like, man, I checked the other.
Are there any other options?
And he's like, well, there's one, but I don't know if you want to stay there.
And I'm like, nah, man, my standards are really low.
It's going to be good.
And he's like, your standards are going to have to be pretty low.
There's a motel called the day night in.
He's like, it used to be a days in, but they took their franchise away.
And he's showing me pictures of the room.
And there's like cigarette burns in the bed sheets and shit like that.
And I'm like, it'll be fine.
So I go there and they ask me if I want a smoking or non-smoking room.
I take one step in.
I'm like, why did you even ask?
Why did you ask?
This is like, they're all smoking rooms the the bed sheet i don't know
how to describe that it's like rubber but really fuzzy i don't know what the fleece ish thing um
yeah it has holes in it that are big like you could stick your fist up through your shoulder
through these holes in the bed and they're like on display this is the top sheet that you see when
you walk in the room and i'm like there's no way they didn't see this and there was like
another little comforter over by the foot area I move that and there's
several more holes being revealed some of them clearly from cigarette burns and
I'm like this is going to be great for the hangout I will wish I wish I had my
ultraviolet light but I broke the boat and did the hangout from home. You got to do the Airbnb thing.
Look at Lisa's Lodge there over in Townville, South Carolina.
That looks right up your alley.
Maybe that is the way to go.
One thing about the hotel, a lot of times I watch the weather until the last second
before I make my decision.
I don't know if you could do that with Airbnb,
but that is so much better than anything I'm doing.
Yeah, and what I would always do with Airbnb or anything is I'd contact the seller,
and I'd ask them for an internet speed test
to make sure that we were going to be able to do this thing
because hotel internet is so spotty.
You never know what you're going to get. It might be high high speed but there's 50 people on it you know
i went to the most expensive one as my first choice just for that i knew that i had the hangout and
i i don't know my guess is that the best hotel has the best internet but i didn't end up staying
there but yeah the internet seemed to work well for YouTube and such. I don't know how it would have worked for the hangout.
I got an Airbnb last year, I think.
And I was staying there for a little while.
And I contacted them before I moved in.
I was going to be there for like a week or two.
And I was like, what's the internet speed?
That's very important to me.
And I told them what I did.
And he's like, it's 30 down and and 10 up and I was like
Okay. Well that probably won't work. But you know, I'll come back and if that will work, you know, I'll keep you on the list
He's like whoa, what would work and I was like, well, I have a hundred Meg where I am now. He's like
upgraded
Really? Yeah
They knew who I honestly did it I think because they knew who I was.
They didn't say that though.
Whenever I checked out, they wrote this big
review on my
Airbnb profile.
How much they liked my videos or whatever.
They appreciated me staying.
I was like, I'm glad I didn't leave any shit stains on the pole.
I took the condoms off the ceiling fan.
I was thinking like,
God, I hope I got all the condom wrappers.
Because I've had people complain about that.
Because there's some condom wrappers.
Not actual condoms, but condom wrappers.
They're like, it was filthy.
And I'm just like, I mean, they're condom wrappers.
It's like a candy bar wrapper.
I was terrible about that at my old apartment.
Because my bed used to be right up against a brick wall in my bedroom. and that was just the only way to get the whole king size in there with the bed frame and everything and after i'd finish or we'd finish i'd like first
of all when i took out the condom and the wrapper i would just throw it to the side of the bed
between the wall and my bed and then sometimes sometimes this is the wrapper. And then the condom itself,
sometimes I just wanted to go to bed right after,
or just wanted to lay there and not deal with it and not have a nasty,
you know,
stinky rubber thing next to me.
And so I would just tie it up and throw it over the edge onto the hardwood
floor.
And every time I'd be like,
I don't do this that much.
There's probably not that many down there.
Cause I would never check.
And then when I was moving out out like moving that bed frame thing there were so many condom
wrappers and dried up at that point condoms dry up mine do a completely different thing
what do they do when i tie mine in a knot and it happens to fall between the bed and the wall it starts making yeast or something
and expanding like a balloon thankfully no kind of sunlight or anything was getting on there they
were in a cool cool that would be hilarious if like one hot day like watery explosions come from
under kyle's bed is there bleach looking from the ceiling?
It would not smell like bleach after it had from the ceiling.
It'd be your own brand of beer.
Kyle's got a high ABV.
That's disgusting.
I try to keep those in order.
Especially if I'm at somebody else's place.
They send a maid in. That's convenient. Yeah, so I try to keep those in order. Especially if I'm at somebody else's place lately
because they send a maid in and it's like,
like why are you, why are you for, well no,
like after you check out a cleaning service comes in
and gets it spic and span for the next customer, you know?
And I'm just like, why am I hearing a complaint
that a maid gave to you?
Like, I don't see how this is-
That's your job.
This isn't my problem.
This isn't even your problem. That's what the maid was for. I don't see how this is... That's your job. This isn't my problem. This isn't even your problem.
That's what the maid was for.
I don't get why you're giving me shade because there were
condom wrappers. I didn't care for that.
I rented a car through Toro. I had a really good
experience, actually. And then
after I returned it and everything was fine,
they charged me $20 to wash the outside
of it. And I
don't know how to feel about... Oh, look, the outside
was dirty.
There were gravel roads involved in my trip so it wasn't like it was filthy or
anything but you know I like the tires kind of spit on the side of the car when
you drove there was that and the car was black so it really showed and I was just
like man I don't know like if you want your car that clean then probably running out of cleaning
did it say anything in the in the thing like a cleaning charge may be applied if i think it did
say that but i thought that would be for like extraordinary cases you know someone
like go on i could go either way in your scenario i'll tell you what pissed me the
fuck off one time
I rented a u-haul like the big u-haul okay
Not not the tow behind like you get you're getting a car like the I don't know what you call it
It wasn't the van. It's a big truck u-haul like a box truck
Okay, like you could you put your you could put a normal person put their whole life in there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and and
I left but I was I drove it to Atlanta and I was getting very heavy machinery
That's what I was doing and I had put
Wooden pallets in the in the bottom of it
You're familiar with a wooden pallet like like maybe like a forklift goes in and might be a completely full of okay
I put those in there to protect the truck and to protect my machinery when it was being sat down in there
Well, the machinery is so heavy. It actually broke one of the pallets. It was like a good time
Good thing. I had the pallets
So I get the truck back and I sort of like get all my machinery out. I throw the pallets out
The pallets are constructed out of like two two by fours turned on their side with like one by fours stacked. Um
On the top and bottom all the way down. One of those 1x4s was basically crushed and twisted and left in there.
They charged me $70 because I had left
a crushed 1x4 in their truck.
I went down there.
The funny thing was my dad had dated this woman
30 years ago.
And I was like, once I saw she wasn't gonna take care of the,
I started at level A Kyle, and then I went to level B Kyle,
and then I became Lyle.
And level one Lyle is gonna let you know.
Oh, it's a tiered system.
I was looking at all this Jesus
crap you've got on the wall. From what I understand, you are quite the whore back.
Oh no. Ma'am. So you can take all of this holier than thou crap and shove it right up your wrinkly
ass. And I'm never gonna bring my, and she's just like, oh, like, no, you don't give me that shit.
You're gonna have all
this jesus crap on the wall i'm offending your sensitivity now but you're fine robbing me
ripping me off yeah i'm like you're stealing from me you're stealing from my from this is
something you're stealing from me you're just you're just hitting my dead book she goes down
more fucking dollars when i've rented like four u-hauls from you over the years i always come
here to get u-hauls when i could go over there and deal with somebody I went to high school with.
I'm gonna go to the guy I went to high school with
from now on.
I became Lyle.
You were right.
Yeah, that's not appropriate.
I was so mad.
I was so mad.
It was 70, it was like 70 some odd dollars,
72, 76, something, some odd.
And it was literally like-
It's more the principle of it.
Two pushes of a push broom
to maybe get some like sawdusty type material and like a one by four that's literally this big that was like twisted
and cracked and broken it was so absurd i i do think she just like hey we've got his debit card
let's yeah you know let's just keep charging it this is fun yeah it's an easy way to make money
she doesn't see herself as a thief but she is yeah absolutely got all that and when i say
jesus stuff on her wall i mean it looked like she was trying to convert me while like four or five
crucifixes and all like like jesus is on him by the way like he's up there very bloody yeah
no when i see enough jesus stuff displayed or if j Jesus is part of your voicemail greeting and that sort of thing, it raises my alarms that this is a show, that you're covering bad behavior.
If a contractor tells me how much he loves Jesus as a way to persuade me to hire him, that guy's a crook.
He's always a crook.
I agree with you about the like out of context like
like it's like dude you're here to fix my sink what the fuck are you don't even talk don't even
look at me just get it done and get out of my house i will pay you it's gonna be perfect it's
gonna be you know bing bang boom get you out of there like you're right i've never really had that
situation but i would be put off if i was like like the same way that like the guy who I was buying my car from, like has his son facing me in a picture and is like talking about him for a minute.
I just want to be like, I don't care.
I don't care if it would save me six dollars off this car.
I would steal the candy out of your son's hand.
If you tell me have a nice day, well, thank you.
That's nice.
If you tell me to have a blessed day, if you tell me to have a blessed,
I was going to say blessed day.
Oh, fuck you.
You fucking freak.
You're trying to trick me into thinking you're not an asshole,
but I know you are.
You're an asshole.
Don't bless me on the way out.
You know what you're doing? You're using God as a cover for your assholishness. You're an asshole. Don't bless me on the way out. You know what you're doing?
You're using God as a cover for your assholishness.
For your rapery.
Yes.
Yo, oh, do you like the largest child raping association in the world?
Now I get it.
Now I know who you are, fucking Epstein.
Fucking Epstein.
Epstein?
He's not a Catholic.
Oh, but he's a child rapist.
That's where they all link in.
You know he's hanging out with the Pope, probably.
I think that's hilarious to say, like, have a blessed day to food service workers.
I'm going to start doing that just to gauge facial reactions.
That's the kind of guy, like, I bought a hat recently, and I decided, fuck it, fuck how big my head is. I'm going to be, that's the kind of guy, like I bought a hat recently and I decided, fuck it, fuck how big my head is.
I'm going to be a hat man now.
I'm also going to be a blessed, have a blessed day kind of guy now.
That's the person I'm going to be.
I think you'd look good in one of those sort of brown, not the full Indiana Jones hat,
but close to like, like, like, like it's like a brown, not a fedora necessarily, but it
looks like you're going out in the woods to do some important stuff.
It's got like the leather, um leather wrap around it a little bit.
Not over the top. We're not talking about full crocodile dundee
or anything like that, but just a nice brown.
I think I can be an Indiana Jones hat guy. I need a hat.
I keep talking about this paragliding thing, but I spend my weekends in the sun
too much,
and it beats down on me.
It exhausts me as much as the activity does,
just the sun draining you all the time.
So I went on Amazon, and I looked at hats,
and I'm trying to buy a sun hat, right? The only hat I look good in, according to me,
is like a baseball cap, you know, a nice one with a rounded brim.
That's what I think looks best on me.
But it also doesn't do the best job.
It adds more heat than it does sun protection for just the brim so i buy a hat that i thought looked good oh my god i wish i looked as good as gilligan in this thing i left
it at home i was like i am too vain to wear this goddamn hat i don't know what i had to wear but i
think a cowboy like stetson hat might look decent
but that's just me pretending like i'm cosplaying i don't want to cosplay i don't know what to wear
it's tricky and and go ahead i have the hat for you for me oh yeah all right like this bad boy
right here nobody's gonna fuck with you wearing that all right they're gonna be like that guy's out of his mind don't go near him no i i wear a hat just like that when i ride like
um the bush hog or the triangle if i'm out in the field like if i'm out there in literal like
beating down sun for four or five hours like first of all nobody's gonna see me out there
and second of all like a hat like that actually is doing a job.
Yeah.
I don't care what tool belt.
What about all the holes in it?
Well, that's for air circulation.
I don't know about you.
I feel like hats heat me up in the summer.
That's true.
That might be the right.
The only trouble I have with that hat is my perfect hat would travel well.
I could throw it in like a duffel bag with other things.
Ah, you'll need a hat box.
I'll link you one.
I'll link you a hat box.
That one would have to be stored loose.
Hang on, boys.
Click, click.
Open my $80 hat box and take out my $20 hat.
Yeah.
Like,
like you,
you'd all of a sudden you'd start being a lot more polite and people would
like you more.
Cause you'd always tip the hat to them.
Do that cowboy.
Ma'am.
I don't,
I learned that.
And that's a grass mowing hat too.
My,
when we went out to Texas,
uh,
uh,
with my dad,
we were going to be literally in a desert walking around.
And dad's like, we're going to this gas station.
And we were getting stuff from the local flavor.
We were talking about it on the Hangout.
They had this soda in Texas called Big Red that's very popular there.
Yeah, give us all a Big Red.
And my dad was like, my dad walks away and I see him come back and he's wearing a sombrero.
Nice.
When I hear sombrero, I he's wearing a sombrero nice when i hear sombrero i think
comically large sombrero it was as big it was as wide as his shoulders it was out here
he was wearing a hat this i like to think the end sort of flapped with his stride they were
enormous it was a no and i was like he's like at first it was funny but I like the next
thing I knew he's talking he's out in the field like walking around with all
got guns and he's like hey hey hey giant ass and he's gone full fucking it's a cool guy to be too white guy in a sombrero
when i was my father what am i saying i'm now my father's age there was a time when i was hopes
jackie and i were hopes age and he was my age right roughly and uh he would wear these straw
hats that weren't cool they were just like maybe maybe a Panama Jack hat that was straw. And it was just the wrong
fit.
It had Mickey Mouse on the
band going around and he
loved his hat.
He and my mom would wear it.
They'd hold hands.
They'd walk through Disney
World and he's like, it's
like having air conditioning
is the greatest thing.
And I can't believe that
anyone would do that for
comfort and sacrifice
coolness.
You know, 20 year old me
just wouldn't get now. Forty six year old me is me is like you know i see where he was coming from these hats that chiseled linked
are actually quite nice yeah these do look nice yeah yeah yeah i got no problem wearing a i wear
hats for function not for uh not for style and uh the first I... Oh, never mind.
I'm sorry I cut you off.
I thought I saw $540,
but it was actually $54.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not buying a fucking $500 hat.
That's pretty silly.
But I would get a $100 hat, I guess,
if it's well-made and everything.
Some of those hats are around $90 or something.
I don't do a lot of hat wearing.
You can get a kangaroo hat.
You can get ostrich? Yeah, yeah. It do a lot of hat wearing you get a kangaroo hat get ostrich. Yeah. Yeah, it says
vintage kangaroo. Oh
That's an old cool kangaroo
These are nice hats
Yeah, I wouldn't feel I think you'd look good in one of those I think people I wish that would come back
I wish that guys wearing hats would come back It's a shame that the internet has made such a mockery of the fedora wearers
And that it's because the kind of people that wear them usually aren't good ambassadors. That's right
You nailed it. I was going right to that the fedora wearers are terrible hat ambassadors and the union of American
Cowboys and the League of
And the Union of American Cowboys and the League of Global Trucker Hat Wearers need to come together and beat the dog shit out of these fedora people so the rest of us can get in with them.
Like when I see an old movie and the guy's wearing the business suit with the hat, I'm like, that's a good look.
I like that. I want to dress like Spy vs. Spy.
That's the look that I think I could pull off.
All white.
Or all black.
No mix and imagine.
Follow the show?
Yeah, I think so.
I think so.
I've got to go buy some hats.
$2.58.