Painkiller Already - PKN #26

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

In this weeks episode of PKN, audiobooks, paintball are discussed in casual conversation as the guys recount what they've been up to recently.

And we're live. Welcome to Painkiller Nearly, episode 26. You got Kyle and Woody shooting the breeze. 26 of these. Very nice. Yeah, half a year, exactly. So, boom. So let's hear the joke. Alright, um, here it is, all queued up. There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was really concerned about their well-being and did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens and the girls dated on this particular evening,

all three girls were going out on a date. This is the first time this happened and as it was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten them, but just to ensure that the young man knew who was boss. So the doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. The father answered the door and the lad said, my name is Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show. Is she ready to go? The father looked him over and sent them on their way. The next lad arrived. He said, hey, my name's Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We want to get some spaghetti. Is she ready? The father felt that once again, this was okay too. So the two kids went off.

Finally, the young man opened the door and the farmer was there. And the boy started off, hi, my name's Chuck. And the farmer shot him. I like that. That was a good one. Well, I'll do worse next time. Yeah, you're going to have to try harder. Yeah, I'll step it

up um so i have one thing on my head that i read today so uh nick diaz nick diaz is like 30 31 he's a ufc fighter and um he's been a ufc fighter since he was young sometimes people get into the ufc at like 30 years old but in his case i think he was 19 or 20 when he just like first broke into the UFC scene. He has been doing nothing but training and fighting forever. There was always a fight coming up, always kind of a mission, etc. And he's thinking about retiring. Now it's worth noting this guy's thought about retiring a couple times before. But he said something that was interesting to me. He's like, man, I've been doing nothing but fight and train and fight and train my whole life now. And he's like, I look around and realize how much I missed.

You know, like he hasn't had like many relationships with girls. He certainly hasn't started any kind of family. You know, in a lot of cases, like even though he was wealthy, he still lived like in the hood, like in this lousy thing, in a little apartment that he rented with his bike inside and stuff and you know because he's a triathlete and um he just never had time to like go like real estate shopping or shopping at all like he doesn't really know like going to a mall or anything and he trained so hard he kind of a lot of training he's doing

he doesn't know how to go to the mall well the thing is like apparently he works so hard. He kind of- That's a lot of training he's doing. He doesn't know how to go to the mall. Well, the thing is, apparently he works so hard that it's not just all the time, but the energy is going towards it. Like when he finishes his training, call it like 4 p.m. or something, he comes home and collapses and just like chills

and prepares himself for the next day's worth of training. And well, I've never trained that hard, I've worked that hard. You know, usually I'd have two jobs or I'd have a job and I'd have school at night or something like that, where I really didn't have time for anything in my life except work. And I guess maybe I'm stretching it because I do have a family and everything. But it was like, huh, I can kind of... a family and everything but uh it was like huh i can kind of he the way that he it came across like uh it reminded me of my last days at cisco like i feel like like what happened is i i i i

i had sat there working in a cube for like 20 years basically 20 years in a cube not all of it at cisco but you know between one cube, a little workplace. And I'm going to try to do this on my webcam, right? At one point, I just popped my head out. I can't. I popped my head out, you know, looking around, looking around, seeing what the deal was. Like a rabbit in his hole or a groundhog. And it was like, whoa, there's a whole life outside here. Like I had no idea that people existed who weren't trapped in cubes. And, uh,

like, and you actually, I've told this many times, but you were one of the people that woke me up, you know, you and your stupid pickup truck filled with like watermelons and explosives. And you're like another day at the office. And it was like, ah, I remember I, as I received that text, I was in a meeting. And a lot of my meetings at the time, I don't want this to come off as racist or anything, but the nature of Cisco IT is it would be me and like seven Indian architects. And like, you know, oftentimes they didn't have Cisco's best interest in mind. Sometimes they weren't employees, right? And that's sort of natural.

Sometimes they were and they were just kind of selfish. But, you know, they would make bad technology decisions to benefit themselves or boost their resume or whatever. And they're also, it was draining to participate in like these meetings with non-English speakers. Like it requires an extra level of attention to sort of like understand everything that they're saying. And it was just like sucking the soul out of me. And like I'm there, I'm fighting the good fight. And they're not. Why don't I have watermelons?

There are no watermelons in my workday whatsoever none ever yeah and and it is like it just your text came in at a weak moment it was like ah i gotta make a change you know i gotta make something happen and uh nick diaz just lost a fight to a to a steroid user and um it's fuck anderson silva tarnished legacy screw him um but uh yeah he did he just lost to some guy on on several different kinds of steroids simultaneously but yeah i remember the one of them in particular the one that i saw in the article uh what they said that it did that what he would have benefited most from was that it allowed him to stay strong during his cut so he could he could uh he could cut weight go without working out and and not drop any uh muscle or strength yeah yeah he could do his weight cut without losing any

muscle or strength like you said there was another one he was on two kinds of steroids at the same time now huge advantage nick was on pot but that's not a huge advantage. I would love to see him talk about it. He's like, I was out there a little stoned. Here comes He-Man, master of the universe, pumped up with everything you can imagine,

like fucking Draco from Rocky IV. I didn't even really want to fight, to be honest with you. I don't want to have a toke. Chill, bro. Chill. Chill. that's hilarious that he tested positive for pot and the other guy tested positive totally would have passed the bong if he wanted he's got he's got millions that's hilarious i i but i wish they would be harder

on steroids in the ufc i don't really hear anything coming out of that. What's the punishment? Like what's going to happen now? So, um, sometimes they take a piece of your purse. Like I think at first offense, it might be 10% and it can go up to 30, you know, later on. Um, and the other thing they do is they, they suspend you for a while, but the trouble is it's not like football, like American football. I'm talking about, or I guess any of them work, but if you get suspended for four months as an American football player, you're fucked, dude. Like they're playing every weekend. If you get suspended for like six months or nine months as UFC fighter,

it might be a blessing. Yeah. It's about the gap you might be getting. Yeah. You might come back and be like, I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm all healed up. I'm a hundred percent.

And I'm stronger than I've ever been after six months of hitting the gym. Like every so often, some guy will have like a knee injury or something. And he's like, you know what? Like I haven't been able to turn my neck all the way in three years. And now I can look at me and I've had this finger that's been jammed and you know, like this has never kind of fully healed. And now that i was forced to take a break for this knee injury like my whole body is at 100 i'm glad i had kind of a break mid-career um you know that that might happen like i could totally see that but um the thing is when you force a guy to take six months off who fights twice a year you kind of haven't punished him at all yeah so that's very true you gotta start you you gotta take some some you gotta take his belt away you gotta uh you gotta you know ban him from a weight class or

something you've got to really lay something down on him 18 months you know that kind of thing comes to mind yeah something like that something that would you know take a year out of his career yeah yeah something like that i mean because these guys fight twice a year you take six months away well you didn't really take anything away at all you take 18 months away and all of a sudden you're like ah that whole like 29 year old thing i didn't fight when i was 29 i got an 18 month you know it sucks yeah you could you could end up being like muhammad ali you know out of the game during the prime of your career. That would be more of a deterrent. And in a sport like fighting, like the UFC is,

don't steroids seem that much more wrong? They're not hitting golf balls out there. He's not knocking the skin off of a baseball. He's knocking the skin off somebody's head. GSP, it was like, you know, this guy was basically a biological weapon out there in the octagon. like, you know, this guy was basically a biological weapon out there in the octagon.

And, you know, that's wrong. It's one of the reasons GSP retired. John St. Pierre or George St. Pierre. My bad. Anyway, what was I going to say? Oh, but back to Nick. I thought it was super interesting that he wants to retire. And he's sort of like he just looking up up at not a life wasted i don't think

that's the term he'd use either but just a life so dedicated that he missed out on things that everyone else does and takes for granted he's got plenty of time left there's not there's not much yeah he's 30 there's plenty of things that you can do pretty much everything that you can do in your 20s and your 30s especially if you're a professional athlete like it's not like he's he's gonna be able to mountain bike and, you know, run and jump and play and do all the things any 20-year-old could do well into his 40s, 50s, and probably 60s as long as he doesn't fall apart. Plus, you know, if he wants to start life over, like, you know,

like, you know, I'm 30, I feel like a – no, no, no, no, dude. Just pick up a 24-year-old girl and start like you're there. You know, Nick Diaz can pull 24 year old tail. I'm sure of it. He's handsome. He's a professional athlete and he's rich. Girls like those things.

I'm sure he could get himself a lady. I don't think that's his problem. Surely he didn't mention that. He's like, Oh, I can't find any women. I'm sure that's not, I think he did mention not doing a family though. Yeah. But to me, it's like, oh, I can't find any women. I'm sure that's not one of his reasons. I think he did mention not doing a family, though.

But to me, it's like, you know, if you're a slightly chubby, you know, paralegal, then you got to get yourself a 30-year-old just like you are. If you're Nick Diaz, just make sure she's legal. Don't go all Seinfeld. Yeah, you can pick whatever you want. What did Seinfeld do? Didn't he date like a 14-year-old? Um, no. I don't think so. I'm Googling this because I think I'm right. Are you...

are you perhaps thinking about woody allen and that he uh he ended up hooking up and i think maybe marrying his adopted daughter later in life i'm thinking of seinfeld let me see i'm just reading this for the first time hopefully i don't flub it seinfeld was the peak of success when he started no i'm sorry let me start over j'm just reading this for the first time. Hopefully I don't flub it. Seinfeld was at the peak of success when he started... Oh, I'm sorry. Let me start over. Jerry Seinfeld was at the peak of his success while starring in his iconic TV series Seinfeld. And he had his pick of the ladies.

Not that there was anything wrong with that. However, the one that called his eye was in Central Park in 1993. It was Shoshanna Lahnstein. She was 17 and a senior at the private Nightingale Bamford School in Manhattan. Seinfeld was 38 at the time. Lohnstein embarked on a five-year relationship in which he openly gushed about his young love, calling her the most wonderful girl in the world, and addressing the age issues by saying,

Shoshana is a person, not an age. We just get along. You can hear the click. But not long after she moved to LA to attend UCLA and explore their relationship, he called it quits. She's now a fashion designer. I felt like I was losing myself, said Seinfeld, whom she called a workaholic.

I mean, school's fine, but you need more. And there wasn't much else, so I worked a lot. Seinfeld went on to marry his current wife, Jessica, in 1998. That wasn't without controversy either. They met weeks after Jessica had married someone else. Then she quickly filed for divorce. I'm mixed up. But yeah, okay, so she was 17, not 14.

I swear there is some talk of younger than 17. Maybe they just exaggerated. Okay. I did not know that about him. Here's a second source. Yeah, yeah. He dated the 17-year-old. 14 thing is just wrong.

Yeah, 17 for sure. So yeah, Seinfeld dated the 17 dated the 17 year old i forgot how we got on that topic keeping it oh we were saying that nick diaz could still get a young girl that's right i think i said don't go seinfeld on it because seinfeld dates girls who aren't legal yet um yeah not legal actually 17 was probably legal and it depends on what state yeah i'm trying to remember the rules i think that like jersey north carolina i remember being the same and i think when you're 14 you can consent but you can only consent to someone within four years of you and it goes by birthday so if you're 14 and he's 15 i'm sorry and he's 18 then you got to start checking the birthday because if he's 18 in

two months and you just turned 14 that's not good but um it's four years to the birthday and then at some point you can just consent to anybody and that might be 16 or it might be 18. I forget. I think maybe it would be different from state to state though. I'm sure there are states where you can date younger people regardless of the gap between the two of you. Or maybe where the gap doesn't matter. I'm sure he didn't break any law. It's truly Seinfeld's not

hooking up with a 17 year old when he knows that she could turn around call statutory rape on him and oh look see this ties into the rumor in new york state a person who's under 16 but older than 13 can consent to have sex with the person no more four years older right so between 13 and under 16 which i guess is 15 you can consent but you have to be close enough um if they're under 17 this thing doesn't have the whole text to it but there's something that happens at 17 that lets you date anybody yeah okay good but that's the thing because the rumor was they

dated for years before she was 17 and then went public once she got legal hmm and i don't know what's true you know well in game of thrones it wouldn't have even mattered the only there's only one question has she had her blood yet? That's all I care about. I bet she did. Yeah. Absolutely. That lady's gorgeous. Has she been visited by her flower? Yeah, exactly. Has she had her blood yet?

Are you still ripping through those books? Oh, like a demon. Let's see where I am. I'm a... Let's see here. I am 13 hours and 10 minutes into the second book. That is 35% of the second book. So there's 24 more hours left to go. I am just totally not hanging with you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm listening to the book at least an hour every day. Oh, that's cute. Exactly, right? I am 11 hours into the first book. 11 hours, 15 minutes. And that's just... It's not getting it done.

Yeah, I listen to it pretty much whenever I've got free time. If there's anything I can multitask and listen to it, I'm doing it. I'm not watching any TV. I'm just listening to this. And definitely the entire time I'm in the car, which is usually a lot, I had to drive probably drove an hour and a half today. See, if I multitask, I need to give it more attention so that I

can follow it. I already don't follow shit. It's funny. I've been doing some introspection lately. Am I stupid? That's what I'm asking myself. Am I stupid? Like, that's what I'm asking myself, right? Am I stupid? Because there's some shit that happens in my head that doesn't happen to other people, okay?

I'll rattle some off. One very clearly is names, right? Like, other people hear someone's name and then they keep it. Me, fuck if I know, right? Like other people hear someone's name and then they keep it. Me, fuck if I know, right? It'll be years before I burn in a name sometimes. Another one is directions, right? Like I'll drive a place and the people will foolishly assume I know how to go there. You're cute. Fifth, sixth trip and i'll know how to go there um there's evidence to the other side though that i'm not dumb right i can keep up with relatively complicated topics uh some of the the

schooling that i've done right i'm probably top five percent of the population in terms of like education you know with three college degrees um college doesn't mean smart but it means educate it means educated but i also like there's a certain like like to finish all that there's a certain like at least minimum level intelligence required yeah of cognitive horsepower just to pass all the coursework right yeah it doesn't mean that everyone who didn't get it couldn't have done it. It just means that everyone who did get it had at least that. So, but like, I sometimes, you know, I watch UFC a lot, right? And I watch fighters and stuff. And I think, what's it like to be in the head of Chuck Liddell, right?

Because Chuck Liddell is one of the guys that it's often referred to as that a little brain damage from all the punching he's had. And I'm like, you know, does he recognize the difference like does he know that like when he can't find his car keys every morning does he know that that's not normal and I made up but I think you can feel when you're when you're not as smart and because okay so there are definitely and I think it's all relative so there are people that I run into that I have conversations with, and in my head, I'm like, I'm smarter than this

person on every wavelength that exists. I imagine intelligence just like light. There are many different wavelengths. There's infrared, there's the visible spectrum, there's x-ray, there's lots of different ways to be intelligent. But this guy is just flat on all the spectrums. I'm like, this guy is not as bright

as I am. He would not be able to solve a complex problem, an equation. He wouldn't be able to learn physics as fast as I would. And if he tried as hard as he could, he still couldn't as fast as I could. And in the same way, I know that there are people who would feel the same way about me.

They would talk to me and be like, he's just, no, he doesn't know anything about political science, and he didn't go here, he doesn't know anything about political science, and he didn't go here, and he didn't do this, and he can't understand when we talk about this. And I'm sure there are people who look down on me as being just as unintelligent as I look down on that other guy who can't put three words in a sentence. Poor Jeremy.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe not Jeremy. Maybe not Jeremy. Jeremy's friend, for sure. We weren't specifically talking about Jeremy. It was Jeremy. You know, there are people, regardless. So I think it's all relative.

There's a couple of wavelengths of intelligence that I notice you struggle with. The name thing in particular. If you could tell me what the Onion Knight's full name was, I'd kiss your ass. There's no way you know. You don't know that guy's name.

The Onion Knight? Is this a Game of Thrones character? Yeah, he's Stannis Baratheon's uh hand you are safe yeah exactly like he's sir davos seaworth he's the onion knight he's he's got the black banner with the ship and the so i was i was talking about introspection earlier and i i think to myself like it's not that I can't learn these things. It's that I rarely, like, devote my attention and concentration towards something long enough to do it. Like, when we watch movies together, my thinking cap is off. I set that shit aside.

I get my feet up. I sometimes sleep and come back out of it. Like, it's, you know. That last one was hilarious snoring and like like you would come back from the snoring and be like kind of kind of chuckle about it and then like five minutes later you're back snoring again you know sleeping with jeff the the square space thing yeah i did sleeping with woody i got the domain sleepingwithwoody.com and i'm thinking of putting together an entire album of snoring just seeing where it goes but but anyway um yeah and I wonder if like am I dumb or do I

have some kind of like ADHD where I just kind of give myself mental vacations far too often like when I'm driving you know like driving is you know what driving is like some people listening to this might be young but but for those of you who drive all the time like you know you're just kind of on watch you know you snap to it when something out of the ordinary happens i've read a little bit about this your brain waves change when you're driving you go into um what's very similar to almost a hypnotic state i was gonna use some that's right that's why sometimes you'll be you know you'll be driving along and all of a sudden you're there and you're like wow that drive was really short this time it's because you were fucking hypnotized and barely conscious

for like 45 minutes because you're just staring at the road in the cars and just reacting and not thinking about stuff actively so i and i i think i sometimes watch movies in that state you know i was just talking about better call Saul with Dr. Chiz. And he was pointing out some of the examples, like he parked next to a Cadillac that he has in Breaking Bad and this and that. And as he's saying them, yeah, I kind of knew all of them, but didn't really put it together because I was watching it while not giving a shit or just being mad that the story moves so slow, slowly.

But anyway, yeah. So I think to myself like am i stupid would would i be three times as attentive if i was on adderall how would life be different if i just paid attention to stuff all the time instead of what i do now which is just pay attention off and on maybe so or maybe you would fry your brain by having it turned on for so long. Maybe your brain needs those little respites

because it's just working on such a high level when you're actually focused on stuff. Yeah, super high. Maybe my brain is kind of like an athlete in that for the first, whatever, 40 years of my life it was just going all day all night never stopping work school work work

work several jobs part you know start forming my own businesses whatever all this stuff going constantly and then you know it I wore it out just like you know just like an NFL player at 40 can hardly put on his own deodorant. Here I am with just a tired brain. I don't know. I don't know if it works like that. It probably doesn't, right? Yeah, it probably doesn't work like that at all.

But, yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking books to sharpen your mind. So, people probably just heard that he broke up for me. I don't know if it's me or if it's him But like before the show started we were having little little bandwidth issues. It could be the rain We're getting on the East Coast. Who knows. How is it now? Perfect. Oh It was just a little glitch right there, but I thought I'd tell everyone like yeah It started working for a few minutes in a row. So we kicked off the show Open for over an hour-long stretch of good audio.

Yeah, the weather's been bad. We've gotten a ton of rain here. I wanted to go do some stuff. Dude, we've had an awful winter in terms of, like, way too much precipitation. But the last, like, seven or eight days in a row have been nice, so I felt lucky. So for whatever reason, I decided to put the vapor barrier in the crawl space on my new house by myself so there is some mold under my home not the bad like the black mold is apparently the really awful stuff that like makes people sick and whatever um i have less dangerous like even

not dangerous mold but it impacts some people's allergies and And one of the causes can be it being wet in the crawl space. So you go under there and the house is really big, but half of it has vapor barrier and the other half doesn't. Vapor barrier is this plastic you put across the ground and it makes sure everything stays dry under there because the moisture doesn't just like wake up or something. Collin and I have been applying it and it sucks. It sucks.

We're almost done, but I also have to rip out some fiberglass and put it back. And, um, I forget how I got on the topic. I had a point in rolling. Oh, and with the rain we've been waiting for, like, I wanted to do a lot of this work while things are dry. I didn't want to like lock in wet. I wanted to lock in dry. So that's, uh, it's mostly done now. Well, good. It's, uh's uh every every day is a new uh new little step closer to moving into that place it is now a lot of the furniture is arriving i don't know which particular pieces are arrived have arrived but like we we bought a one of these you got was a couch for the for the guest house and um when i picked that up they're like you know there's all

this other stuff here you could get and i'm'm like, ah, didn't bring the trailer. But mostly, the house isn't ready either. You know, I can't go rolling in new furniture into a construction zone. It'd be doomed. But as the furniture arrives, the only thing stopping us is the construction now. So that's cool. I think Jackie ordered the last of the lights today. So they're rolling in. Yeah, every day, more progress.

It's good. Do you want to look at this paintball field? Sure. Nuketown. Yeah, so it's... I may have seen this. Yeah, they completely recreated Nuketown from Call of Duty. It's just one of the fields that they have at this place.

I noticed they also had something called Low Impact Paintball that uses.50 caliber markers instead of.68 caliber, and the speed is turned down. But that just sounds like pussy paintball. I want no part of that. I went sharp into paintballs. Yeah, I'm thinking about getting my First Strike marker out and playing with it, my Tiberius or whatever.

But they've got a few nice fields. They're all kind of like this. Kind of scenarios and stuff built in. You know, I'm thinking about it. You know the lines of sight on Nuketown so well. You could probably snipe. Just stay in that place to the left. Let me show you what it looks like.

It's pretty cool. Remember Wolf? Sure, I know Wolf. Wolf has a video on Nuketown. Do you want to watch it? Sure. Oh, I think I started to watch that. He has a helmet cam on too at the same time.

Wolf is awesome. So we were talking about doing two paintball fields on a subscriber meetup trip yeah too soon to talk about that or yeah we can talk about that so originally we were thinking about going to um canada and going to a park that's up there because they had asked if um if we wanted to come up there but i think chic Chicago would be a better bet because there's two fields that we were thinking about doing it at. We could do it at CPX Sports one day and then go to, I'm not sure what this other field is called, Paintball Explosion Park and Pro Shop.

That's what it is. And I think they're located fairly close to CPX. So we could do one day at CPX and one day at the Paintball Explosion Park. And then, I don't know, what we were thinking is maybe do like a special like pka package for uh for the fans so they get a discount on paint and rentals and such and uh let's see here's this video the business side of it is interesting to me so uh and nothing to hide here. If you're a paintball field operator, what you really value are new customers, right? Returning customers are great, but new customers are the real key of it. You can't just milk returning customers forever and try to make a business out of that. And the demo on a show like

PKA is mostly guys between the ages of like 15 and 25. Like that kind of nails our demo. And the demo on a person who plays paintball is like mostly guys between like 15 and 25. So when someone like a paintball field operator, you know, partners with us, like we could possibly bring new people who take a love of the sport and become active players. Or they're just one-day customers. But either way, they're not losing.

They're doing fine. Yeah, definitely so. I think it'd be fun. So if you go to three minutes and 45 seconds in this video, at Wolf's, because Wolf's videos are pretty long. There's a big intro with interviews and stuff.

Let me make sure this is Nuketown, though. This doesn't look like it. It does say Nuketown Part 2. Okay. You want to start at 345? Yeah, I'm at 344. Does that work for you? Sure.

Or I could just play it for a second. Three, two, one, play. If you're listening to the audio-only version of this, these people are moving through a paintball field. That guy looks like T-Mart. But it's houses and construction. Yeah, I don't remember what this field's called. Is this CPX?

No, this is that other place. They've got a lot of fields like this. Bedlam is CPX's sort of urban environment field, but this place seems to have a lot of places like that. With buildings to hide in and windows to shoot through. I love watching Wolf move, man. He gets all tactical about it. Oh yeah, look at his setup. Do you remember, you probably remember, I don't know if you were there, but basically Wolf was like,

we're pinned down, but it's like a hundred versus a hundred. And really the difference between the two teams was leadership our team was being like scared and we're like ducking down and and the other team has their guns up and they've got suppressing fire and everything is going right for them and nothing was going right for us so wolf gets out there he's like all right people listen up this is wolf we're gonna get six of you on the right flank headed out past that van. Wait for my go! We're gonna get 14 of you on the left pop up in the window! Wait for my go! And then he gets shot.

And he's like, oh I got shot, never mind. We'll go. And we're like, wait, what? Oh no! Our leader's gone! Yeah. It was horrible. We were about to do something big and they shot Wolf and we were fucked. And nothing good happened. He's gone. Just like real life, he's gone. Yeah, target the leaders. If you get a 7.45, that's where the actual Nuketown map starts at.

Alright, 7.45, not a problem. Are you there? I'm on my way. I'm here. 3, 2, 1, play. So we're chilling here with some other players. I saw these guys, he had a wicked damn dice setup. Full loadout on the tactical vest.

I think they're getting ready to take off. Yeah, see, that's like the back of Nuketown, where the fences are. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You spawn there. Yeah, see, it's even painted the same. Oh, that's nice. I totally know this. They've got the carts on the ground, they've got the cover. Dude, I know all the lines

of sight. They came, like, they did a really good job of mimicking this map based on what I've seen so far. Oh, man. The construction of the porch and the back of the house is the same. Yeah. I was watching that guy. Those videos I was showing you earlier, the guy who was playing with, I think he was playing with pistols. And he just sprinted straight through the house and made it all the way to the cars in the middle of the map.

But these guys seem slow. If I was on this map, I'd try to find four or five aggressive teammates who wanted to go to the bus with me. And just make a run for it right off the start. You can see he's just getting shot at so much. Yeah. I think there might be too many people on the map. Yeah, that could be. It looks like it's a 30v30 or something like that.

And if it were like 8x8, then you'd be able to move a little more. It's hard not to be pinned down when there's this much paint flying. Do you remember when we did YouTubers versus subs at CPX? Yes. What was that course called? It played like a speedball course. It was where the pea gravel was. Yeah.

And they had all those Turkarders. What are they called? Turkarders? I've never heard that word before. But yeah, they were metal drainage pipes. And it was really cool. Because they had a lot more people than we did. But we had way better guns.

Like totally OP guns. Which evened it out a whole bunch. Yeah, I'm hoping we can do something like that again. Yes, yes. And if you bring, like, a ridiculously OP gun, then I think you should just play with the YouTubers. Fuck it. Yeah, I'd love that. I'd love to mix it up and play a bunch.

I'm going to have to start running a little bit. I've got to be fast. Every time I go, I'm too slow, I feel like. feel like and my legs end up like burning like a motherfucker after we get back i've started um so because of the house construction for the last like four weeks i've been going out to lunch every day and uh prepared food things like wendy's kfc whatever i stopped today was the first day i was like i guess yesterday was technically the first day but it was like yeah i'm i'm not going out for lunch anymore this is ridiculous my weight's climbing it's got to sink so uh so now i'm eating i think i'm at uh i think i'm like

180 180 180 185 right you got a knack though. It seems like every time you threaten too high a number 25 pounds will drop. Sometimes there's a tragedy in your life which aids it and sometimes it's just a discipline like bam, I've just decided to fast for three weeks.

I think at one point I was 220 or something like that. That was way too heavy. I've never been that heavy. It was way too heavy. And I went from there to like... Like 160.

Was that the tragedy one? No, no. No, that was a different one. I think I went down to like 170 or something like that. So I lost like 50 pounds. But it was over the course of maybe, I don't know, three months or so of working out and just eating normal or eating right. I guess normal is relative. I am. Yeah, I could drop some right now. Uh, I've never been as high as 220, but I'm not happy with my number and I don't want to tell everybody. Maybe after I lose it, I'll tell you where I came

from. But, uh, I wasn't as heavy as I was the last time I went on a diet. I don't really want to lose any weight. I want to get faster. I think I'm going to work on getting faster. Because I'm excited about this paintball now. Fuck speed. I just got to look good naked. That's all I need.

If something chases me, then fine. You got me. I don't care. I want to get a little bit faster. I'm going to do some running, do some jogging, and mostly get my cardio up so that I'm not just, you know, when I sprint to that school bus, I'm not like, I'd like to be able to turn around and be like,

come on, let's go, and not be winded and out of breath and just dead. So I'm going to get on the elliptical, I think, after we get down here. All right. Good for you. I'm just going to not eat like a shithead. That works too. So that I drop weight. Everyone talks about exercise, but abs are made in the kitchen, right?

That's the expression. I think it's pretty much on target too. Yeah, I suppose so.'s i saw go on uh never mind oh yeah that's always been my understanding of it you know eat right for for body fat drop and exercise for all that toning and fitness and strength and cardio and you know but if it's just you've got to work out a lot to burn away inches like it's got it that's got you've got to be running a couple miles a day before you're gonna start making a yeah making a dent even um yeah so i guess i don't know i was gonna talk about wings and the wings decided to refocus on his career and sort of not do the weight loss thing this is gaining he's gaining weight. So we've got more of wings to entertain us now.

There you go. More wings. Looking forward to having more of wings in 2015. When you phrase it that way, like, hey, man, I've really got to get my income settled. I can't be messing around with Drew hanging out in the gym all the time. You're like, I kind of get that. He was working out like five times a week and it was like midday. Even if that workout's only an hour, it's probably like a three hour chunk a day. I'm exaggerating maybe a touch,

but you know, like when you prep your workout stuff and you go there and then you work out and then you leave and you shower and. You know this as well as I do. In the end, it's... Have you seen that thing from Schwarzenegger that's like his keys to success or motivational thing he talks about? He's like, at one point, he's like, he's like, you don't get to sleep eight hours a night. You sleep four now. Or he says, maybe six.

Maybe he cuts it to six. And he starts talking about what you do with the other hours of the day he's like now you've got 18 hours to get everything done and it's like when you think about it like that he could do whatever any of us could if we apply the sort of if we worked like i was just being kind if you weren't like fucking somewhat like like like Schwarzenegger did, you know, if Then you'd be rich, famous, governor, movie star, athlete. People make it sound like all he did was work out a lot. But, you know, he spent time

with ballet trainers and all these to teach him balance and how to hold his body and all this pose training, like learning how to do, you know, they're not just like flexing there's a very specific pose that they're going for

and an ideal of like human male perfection that they're trying to achieve he wasn't just like working out really hard and getting big, he's like oh my bicep needs to be more defined right here right here on the bottom, this part right here needs to be different and then the voice acting, like he became a real actor and you know people will say that he's not an

actor whatever like you know all he did was a strong guy and then to some extent i'll admit that he's not like i haven't seen like hugely dramatic roles but there is a world of difference between someone like schwarzenegger and your high school friends you know like yeah take a camera and point it at a random person and they cover their face and they hide and they do whatever take a camera and point it at a random person who's willing to be on camera which already cuts off at least half the population and they just like people can't do lines and look natural and and just be at ease in front of a camera schwarzenegger is a real actor he's not um kevin spacey in terms of dramatic performance,

but he did something to become a real actor in a different language. The guy worked tremendously hard. He's hugely successful. It would have been nice if he didn't cheat on his wife and bang his housemaid

and have an illegitimate kid and all that stuff. Did you see that lady he banged? No. She looks awful. Really? You've got to see her. You've got to see her.

You will not believe how unattractive his maid is. Wow. Wanda Schwarzenegger. Wanda Schwarzenegger maid. Yeah, just do an image search on that. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Yeah. For real? Yeah. Well, why? Why? Maria Shriver is way hotter than that maid. Way hotter than that maid.

Way hotter. And by the way, Maria Shriver, when she was younger, was super hot. She was like a morning talk show host. She had like a... You remember Regis and Kathyathy lee i'm dating myself who is it now kathy lee and regis and kelly right oh kelly ripper yeah kelly rip is the one i was going for but now it's kelly ripper and michael strahan i think okay yeah yeah so but anyway maria shriver was the the Kelly Ripa of her day. And she was just as cute. She had it going on. I'll admit now she's probably 60 or something like that. She's not the 25-year-old version of herself.

But she's good genetic material. Yeah. And this lady that he reproduced with is not good genetic material. Though I see a picture of her next to her son. And he's like this colossal half-Hispanic looking dude with like ripped arms. Really? Yeah.

Let me see if I can share this. Oh, yeah. You're like walking down the street. I think he's wearing a Batman shirt. Oh, yeah. We're looking at different pictures, but the one I see, yeah, you can see he's a big guy. Oh, is he holding a dog in your picture?

I can't find my picture now, to be honest. I'm scrolling through Google. I'm looking at him. Here he is holding a dog. Wow. He's a big boy. Talk about genetic stock. Yeah, Schwarzenegger's.

Yeah, he should be reproducing more. He should be having as many sons as he can have. We need more Schwarzenegger genetics out there. Yeah, I see. I've got a picture of him now in a little tiny bathing suit. It looks like he's a competitive swimmer, judging by the parkas that they're wearing in the background.

And, yeah. I've worn that outfit before. If you're someone like Schwarzenegger, I feel like they should freeze your genetic material for the future. We may need a race of Schwarzeneggers to one day defend us somehow or something.

You know what we need? Socrates. Not the philosopher, but your friend who's awesome with an Xbox controller. Because that's what future warfare looks like. We need all the Nadeshots and Socrates and Big Tees and Rambos. Not... Operating drones.

Not Stallone. Rambo, the optic envy player. Those are the people that will win the wars of tomorrow yeah i i think i think that's what socrates was originally doing he was piloting a drone but he tested really highly and he got promoted and i think is the last time i talked to him his job was something along the lines of like reporting to like some really higher ups like maybe some generals or something he was giving them the reports of what their surveillance drones, he was like, we're finding, like he was the one who like brought the reports to the higher ups

of what all the drones were doing. He was kind of in charge of something. So Socrates reached out to me. And at this point, like I was a, I don't want to say hotshot YouTuber, but let's just go with that. I'm getting 13 million views a month and things are going well. And Socrates reached out to me on Skype and I was so excited.

He's like, Hey, Woody, the new Borderlands is coming out. Do you want to play it together? And I'm like, Socrates is talking to me. This is so awesome. Because he was a beast at every game. And I was, yeah, dude, i would have loved to have run through borderlands with him but uh we never got together and did it again yeah it was always fun playing with socrates playing call of duty we would play uh black ops one and uh and he would just run like

i don't remember exactly maybe uav counter uav then blackbird so he was just and he would constantly be throwing them down for me so i got a blackbird all the time just wreaking havoc it was great. And he didn't mind. Like he, like he could, he sort of at will could get dogs pretty much whenever he wanted, like every game for sure.

Just about. He's just crazy. I, um, I reached out. So there is this guy, his name is Patrick Reyes. And,

um, let me see if I can find, I used to play with him a long time ago did you he reached out to me recently he was like hey woody how you doing and i'm like aren't you that guy who stole the hapage from me and uh because we we had a deal i forget what it was but i do i remember what it was so i had a pause and i wasn't using it much. And he wanted to start a YouTube channel. And his gameplay was right there with like the best on YouTube. Like I think in terms of how well he plays the game,

like people like Mark of J and Xcal and he would be there. His commentary was an unknown thing because he wasn't making videos, but his gameplay was known and he was very good. So anyway, he wanted, I was like was like dude i'll give you a page and then like the first like 200 your channel earns or something use it to pay me back and then then you're on your own right so basically i was it was almost it was a loan but uh um yeah just it was a loan basically but he was gonna buy the page off me maybe it was 150 because i gave him a good price and uh basically he took the hibage

he never made a video never paid me back and that was like and then he like stopped talking to me because he was dodging me because he robbed me and um i was too trustworthy i talked to him recently and it turns out that he sold the hibage for drugs and yeah i think it was just pot i mean but but that's that's the scoop like i gave gave him this thing, he sold it, bought pot. And he said that it made him look like a big man in front of his friends that he was like to like visit his brother who was sick in the hospital i have no idea where on the truth scale this this lies but um i was willing to put everything aside and do it you know i was like all right whatever because i thought he was in the northeast and this is before christmas and i was headed up there it was was like, I'll, I'll swing by, you know, he said his brother was like a huge fan and always wanted to meet me or something. And now he's in the hospital sick for all I know, he was going to fucking mug me,

right? Like this was phase two of his plan. He ran out of pot money. He's going to take whatever I had on me. But, uh, but I went there and then he never replied to me. And that's kind of where our relationship stands right now. He robbed me. He asked me for a favor. I tried to grant it, and then he didn't reply to me on Skype. Okay, then. That's Patrick Reyes. All right.

I haven't played with him in a really long time. We used to play COD 4 together. He was very good. Yeah, I used to play Modern Warfare 2 with him. I met him because we were doing game battles tryouts and um basically like it was wings and i and we were like sort of interviewing players and stuff we wanted six people in total even though it's a four-man team so that we didn't need 100 attendance just to play and um patrick rass was just beasting you know he was leading

every lobby he was doing amazing things. He sucked at call-outs. But we were so new to competitive that I was just sort of getting a grip on their importance and such. Onslaught was my biggest pickup. He was finishing near the top. Sometimes he'd be second. Sometimes he'd be third. Sometimes he'd be first.

But he was totally laying it down in terms of call outs and plans and he had like a natural leadership inside him that you know he would tell people which flags to hold and what to do and and uh that's how he got on the team it wasn't he was a really good player but he didn't he didn't rack up points the way the other guys did like and that's the top players sometimes it's not just their gun uh their their stick control it's their ability to find traffic and know what's going on that that makes them so good in pub stomping but anyway cod talk yeah guy robbed me son of a bitch and i tried to help out his brother supposedly, or walk into my second mugging. I don't know. And,

uh, and that's got stuck there. Well, at least he didn't mug you. I got that going for me. Yeah. Maybe I should tell him to bring it. All right,

dude, I will put $250 in my back pocket. If you can take it, you can have it. Meet me, maybe in an alley. We got a score to settle. Just bring him another PVR, man.

He'll turn it into money. That's ridiculous. Yeah, I sent a few people PVRs. I know I sent Socrates one. I sent a few other people one. I think I sent J.D. Reid one, Impulse, because there were just a bunch of people whose gameplay was so good and I was like, other people should see

this because I'll upload a video and it'll be my good game and whatever it is like 35 and 3 or something like that. But if you look at the scoreboard, Socrates is going like 60 and 2 in the same game and it's like they really should be watching what Socrates

is doing like I'm popping up through a window and like getting a two man spray he's jumping in a window and getting a four man spray some people what was I going to say Socrates

I don't know I lost my train of thought but yeah they did those are the good old days new days are good too yeah things are good I noticed a lot of people like their excitement

about gaming has faded if you take all the big youtubers from 2011 I just grabbed that out of thin air and you'll find like yeah I'm just not playing as much as I once did. I don't know if the games are not as good. I don't know that anything

has the same level of excitement that COD did at its peak. Yeah, it's hard to match that. There was so much there was just so many people who were excited about it. I'm correcting myself. I think League of Legends has an even bigger community

and people who are super passionate about it. There's probably spot for a League of Legends YouTuber or Twitch guy who, like, if my understanding is that people who watch League are more about the gameplay than people who watched COD, right? In COD, there was like this, I think of a three-legged stool. I think Sark said this. On one hand, you've got your commentary.

On the other hand, you have your gameplay. And on the third, you have your production value, right? And my videos always stood on that like production value, right? Like I was in 1080p before anyone else. I was disabled resampling. My videos looked good and they sounded good. When some people thought they were going above and beyond to get like some shitty blue snowball, I had like professional professional level audio setups.

And then my commentary, at least I think my commentary was really good. My gameplay, on the other hand, while not embarrassing, wasn't at the level of the other top COD guys. So those are the three stools, the three legs of the stool. I bet now in League, there's a position for someone who's good you know interesting to watch but not uh whatever it is diamond elite top player who just has interesting things to say and tips for regular people yeah probably so yeah there's there's a lot of different makeups that you can have to be a successful youtuber at something with gaming you're definitely right about that yeah yeah i've never played league of legends i've never played it either it's free to

play um i don't know what their monetization model is but i'm pretty sure it's not pay to win i think that if you give them money you open more champions and then um you know like so if you were to go right now having never paid anything i'm making this up but i think you know, like, so if you were to go right now, having never paid anything, I'm making this up. But I think you would get like four or six champions to choose from. But if you were to pay, you could open up all like 18 champions. And that's the model. Okay. And they're supposed to be well balanced enough that, you know, that you can play or do anything you want.

I don't have enough expertise to tell you how well balanced they are. I'm not sure a good player could beat me with any of them. Yeah, right? It's, it doesn't, it probably, the COD skills probably are not going to transfer over. I've watched people play a little bit. It looks a little confusing to me.

I'm not sure what's going on some of the time. I agree. With the way they have, I'm sure my terminology is awful, but the main character has different minions, little tiny characters that will attack people eight on one. That guy with one swipe of his mighty beer keg takes all of them out. I think that's an actual weapon. It looks like range management is a huge part of them out. I think that's an actual weapon. And it looks like range management

is a huge part of the game. Being able to just get within a pixel or two, get your attack off, and then get out of that guy's range. There's something called mana that you have to manage a lot. And then, of course, there's just being smart enough

to be in the right place at the right time. Most of the maps, they have lanes that take you from one side to the other, kind of like old COD you know there were three lanes and um and you know you just need to take things on and be near your teammates and not get 2v1'd and i uh i'm no expert in it but it looks interesting yeah i also think it's i don't know if it's at its peak but i can say that it's also not like in its infancy where you know there was a time in cod where it seemed like everyone who tried became a major youtuber and

then later on you kind of had to have something special to get noticed in the crowd i think that's where league is today yeah that makes sense i wonder if it's even a game that i could get into though i bet if i go in there i just get really destroyed by people who've been playing it for forever that's why i'm not playing cs go you know i just like i oh man there's that game's so old as well like it's yeah there are people who are 18 years old who've been practicing for a decade now and they will they will steal your lunch money yeah that's not fair at all i see some of the like trick plays and stuff that people do with grenade throws and and uh and and you know they'll they'll get four man kill feeds and stuff

and it's clearly a whole nother level of skill that they're showing off it's fun to watch yeah i i don't know what game I'd play if I were to get into something. I think CSGO would be a lot of fun. But like you said, really should have been playing that eight years ago or something. Should have been pounding the hours into that.

I bet everybody who's good at that has hundreds and hundreds of days of play time maybe i don't know i bet they've got tons it's crazy yeah that's huh yeah and csgo seems to be a really popular competitive game too like it's it's player base is much much COD, but the crowd that the competitions draw are bigger. And they do some interesting stuff. Like, you can make bets on pro tournaments, and then you, if you bet correctly,

might get, like, a special knife or something in-game. And they sell that stuff back and forth as well, I guess, because I see people... I saw some Reddit posts where the guy was selling some special knife, and they were talking about how much it was worth, and people were like, oh, well, this and that, and everyone had different

opinions about how much this knife he had in-game was worth, and that was just a foreign concept to me. I was like, it ain't worth shit. I don't care what color my knife is. There are a lot of players on WoodyCraft who have, like, intermingled the economies between WoodyCraft and CSGO, and it goes both ways so

like like you might buy a rank on woody craft and then you get a daily kit and they will trade they're like look i'll give you all my daily kits all week long for this knife and cs go and then they'll sell that for real life money so that like the woody craft rank becomes like a reoccurring source of revenue that they can do to get like other virtual items that they trade for money. Or it'll go the other way where they'll be like, Hey, if anyone has, you know, like I'd really like you to buy me this, like an upgrade and Mordecraft, I've got this CSGO loot that I'll give you in exchange for making a purchase in my name. And then like, there's a lot of people on my Minecraft server who are involved involved in the economy of csgo but not necessarily

the game like they play a little but what they really are are csgo stock traders and they you know like the whole the the two things are intermingled and i don't know that i 100 understand it but yeah they'll like and things that like when we reset a map the value of something at woody craft like is high and low like if we reset a map and things are just started and fresh people really really want stuff so they might dump everything they have in csgo for some woody craft stuff and then if it's like two or three months old or maybe we're going to open another map like it they'll dump all their woody craft stuff and put like you know sell woody craftCraft, buy CSGO, and then, you know, switch back later and they go back and forth.

It's interesting to me. And they're all little stock traders, but they work with virtual items. That's interesting. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to get into that at all. That just seems like way too much. And I feel like if I tried as hard as I could for months, for hours a day, I would still only be a bad player.

I don't think I'm going to even attempt that. Yeah, and God, I don't want to go through the whole phase of letting my teammates down again. When I first started, you really didn't want me on your team. I tried, but you'd be better off you know playing 6v5 you know without me feeding them killstreaks and then towards the end you know what you really did want me on your team you know like it unless you're optic or something i'd probably be a step up you know but uh cs go like i'm gonna start all over i'm not even gonna know the maps i'm gonna you know

barely notice that spray paint on the wall that tells you where objectives are. Yeah, that's not happening. I'm interested in, I really do enjoy the videos, especially the montages because those seem more ridiculous, but I'm not going to do that. I've been enjoying the games you don't have to be good at, right? Like we were playing Mount Your Friends a while back. Yeah, knock yourself out like it's not really about winning mount your friends your friends was fun that was uh when i finally figured out how to like swing the character he's like spinning through the air yeah that was cool and remember the game where we 2v1 chiz and it was really close yes fuck Chiz god he was so good at that game I

don't I don't even remember what it was it was um I don't remember either like little hedgehogs or something we could jump and it was a platform that people could make custom games um yeah it was fun but uh dude I felt like Chiz when we did the 80s trivia in the last pka like we picked a game that i had had experience with and no one else did and you're just like you know budweiser party animal spud mckenzie the pitbull i've never heard of spud mckenzie yeah people thought i was cheating but i was not or you thought i was cheating i don't know if anyone else did but no i totally wasn't cheating i and i could i could tell you what he wore he had sunglasses he had the one thing on his eyes pitbull he was white yeah yeah you grew up in the 80s right yeah i had a huge advantage i pulled a dr chiz

and all schwarzenegger quotes came and there was no there was no chance dude in my head as i'm reading the sch Schwarzenegger quotes, I'm like, I'm totally killing it with this accent. I didn't even know I could do this. This is my Arnold accent. It's not like my German accent. I was like, I really crushed it. I'll be Bach. And I was like, yeah, crushed it. I'll be Bach.

And I was like, yeah, this is going really well. I didn't even know I had an Arnold in me. But. I loved it. I loved it. That was great. Good times. Oh, I had an idea.

It was not completely my idea. But you know how we do the monthly hangout with the Patreons? Mm-hmm. It was not completely my idea, but you know how we do the monthly hangout with the Patreons? What if next monthly hangout, we watched a movie with the Patreons together? We could even stream it because it's just a private video call. It's not like it's Twitch or YouTube or something. We could stream the movie, all be in sync, watch the movie, and like basically, you know, what you and Chiz and I do at night sometimes do that with the fans uh the challenge is sometimes they come and go so we need to really tell them in advance and

actually go live at that time you know sometimes we're like oh i forgot about it it's two hours late we're rushing together no no no we have to really be reliable in the time so that people can plan around it yep and then we'll start and we'll be watching the movie together with that i would do if we could uh if we could pick like a sunday afternoon maybe right sunday evening like something that's that's pretty good for multiple time zones even uh i would do that i i it yeah i'd do that like a sunday at noon we'll pick a nice movie. That equalizer thing would have been good, but I'm thinking something like that

with some action, with some surprise, and maybe a little gore. I don't know. And just hang out with everyone and watch. And if they have crackly, bad audio mics, I'm muting their asses. We could watch that documentary about the dolphin fucker. We could watch that documentary about the dolphin fucker.

We could. I was thinking of something more AAA. I don't know what. But, you know, a AAA action movie. Heck, maybe that Lord of the Rings thing will be out. The movie you hated so much. Oh, no. The Hobbit 3.

Dude, that's way too long for this. Oh, you're right. I didn't think about that. Yeah. Yeah, no, it should be a regular length movie. I was thinking that would be pretty much the whole hangout, though. Like, we'd be watching a movie together. Yeah, it'd be an hour and a half, and that would be what we do. Maybe we should see what they think about this,

because, you know, they're the ones paying the money to hang out with us. We'll see if they like it, then I'm totally down, though. Yeah, I like the way you're going with that. We'll see if they like it, then I'm totally down, though. Yeah. I like the way you're going with that. That's what we'll do. Yeah. I'm not sure what movie, though. We'll have to think about that as well. Yeah. Maybe you should pick the movie. I'm trying to remember. How have I done with my movie picks? I had a winner

and two losers. Does that sound about right? I don't remember. Chiz has a google document for it i'm sure he's can score it's funny chiz is so good with his google docs and and chiz works for me right i sometimes treat jackie like that i'm like jackie i need you to fire up a google doc and talk about our lighting choices i need a list i need room assignments i need this i need that she's like i don't know how to do Google Doc. Get Hope to teach you, she'll partner up with you and you two are on this. And it's like, why am I treating my wife

like an employee? But it just, Chiz and his Google Docs are great. Yeah, absolutely. He's got them for everything. And there's Google Docs for sponsors and ad reads and... Guest histories and... Guests and, you know, incomes and everything. There's a Google Doc for everything. So, yeah, those things are great. And I like that they're editable. We can all, you know, change things about them,

make them work better. Yeah, for collaboration. Like, I had wondered what was going to happen to Microsoft, the Office suite. Like, you know, how would anyone ever pass this thing? Because once you get a standard, like, and it's an interchange, like, like, let's say I'm a Word Perfect user and 95% of the world uses Microsoft Office. I'm fucked, right? I can't even send you docs. Like, you know, Word Perfect is just out of the loop. It's not a, you know, so everyone's

standardized. And then how do you ever break that near monopoly? And then Google comes out with something you use in your browser. Bam, I shoot you a link. You can edit it. If you've used another text editor, you know 90% of it right off the bat. Like, oh, I see. You highlight the text. You click on the big B to make it bold. You click on the U to make it underlined.

Like, you know what you're doing. The same keystrokes work, like Control-U, Control-I for italicize. Zoom. It's there. And we can all collaborate and it's better and it's available and it's cool. I like it. Yeah, I agree. I like it a lot. And Chiz is great at that. Yes. Yeah. Chiz is great at that. So do you have any, are you filming a video this week? I thought I thought you were. I'm working on it. Maybe it should be, it should happen this week. It depends if everything thought you were. I'm working on it. It should happen this week.

It depends if everything arrives in time. I'm waiting on some ballistics gel and some incendiary ammo. I've got everything else in place. And I'm trying to get my little short-barreled shotgun. I'm trying to get the barrel threaded for choke tubes so that I can attach my silencer to it. It's already a short-barreled shotgun. It's only this long. And I figure adding a suppressencer to it. It's already a short barrel shotgun. It's only this long. I figure adding a suppressor to it would make it look really cool. I'm torn on the short barrel stuff.

On one hand, it's kind of neat and no one else has it because you need a special license. On the other hand, is it that cool? It's just a short gun. There are definitely some advantages to long ones too. I like it a lot.

I think as far as a... I don't know. It's so nice to be able to shoot. I shoot out my truck window a lot. I drive around the field, and anytime I see something I want to shoot, I'm just out the window with my gun, and I'm shooting it.

What are you shooting all the time? Anything I see. Anything that moves, really. Anything that moves. So typically these are living, well, ex-living things. Yeah, like on a day like today, like if,

what I should be, what I should have done today is because it stopped raining around like 1 or 2 p.m. and the sun came out so the field was full of birds. They were all eating the worms who had come to the top of the soil.

I should have been out there with my suppressed fucking 300 blackout rifle just taking it taking them out um but i like i shoot birds i don't know they explode when you hit them okay okay i didn't know if there was like a farm reason like you know no they're killing my worms and i really need my worms to do my soil no i just like shooting the birds because you know they explode when you hit them they go and feathers go everywhere like a like a pillow exploding dude my my so my current house this is probably isn't interesting to you at all but to me it's awesome because my current house the one i'm in right now there's really no wildlife like every so often a rabbit will scurry or something

and there's squirrels in the trees and well i've just about covered it right you know it's like a big event if there's a fox in the neighborhood my new place man it's like the wildlife the animal kingdom is out there you know there's like every so often like the neighbors did you see the coyote yesterday strolling around there's fucking coyote here for real like i believe my dogs could take a coyote i think they're much bigger and um, um, uh, and then of course there's like deer hopping around, right? I don't have any deer in this house. They're not in my suburbs. There's, um, and then the birds, right? There's birds all over. Like I'll look in my yard and there'll be over a hundred birds just there like eating. I didn't even know they

were eating worms. I thought there were seeds or something out there but there's birds just all over the grass popping down trying to eat things and then um then there's bigger birds soaring above killing them and then like you can hear them as they chase them like cool cool and then like like you hear that hawk like like it is there is there yeah it's like a yeah you do it really do it again yeah so we have like birds of prey the hawks and falcons and shit chasing down like cardinals and things just and and you know like and sometimes they get away right sometimes they like you they go from tree to tree to tree and the hawk is just sitting there like on the on the limb like fuck you know the guy got away other times mid-air collision burst of feathers like coming out and i'm like this property is so amazing

there's like animal kingdom shit going down right here and and then we have i haven't seen the the barn cat in a while um i'm hoping that he's still around but yeah we had a cat that would just kill mice and stuff and um i from what i understand there's a steady repopulation that happens like the litters will be born then they'll just scatter about i don't know if the hawks are getting them if they're going to other places but the feral cats are part of the wildlife scene at my new place and i'm i'm down for all of it yeah crows and you may be seeing crows and hawks fighting because uh crows hate hawks hawks eat their babies and i don't know if they eat their

eggs but i know they'll eat their like baby birds out of the nest so crows will mob a hawk anytime they see one. So when we hunt crows, we play a tape through our game caller that's like a crow being attacked by a bunch of, or a hawk being attacked by a bunch of crows. What does that sound like? Tell it.

It's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, eee, eee, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. That's awesome. this is my bird accent so yeah you'll play a tape like that and then the crows that are nearby it's like oh shit you know there's there's a there's a bunch of crows fighting a hawk i'll join in and then they run over and you blow them away it It's great. That sounds incredible. Yeah. The only thing that doesn't live at my new house is me.

That's what I wish we could fix. But yeah, it's neat to me. I look forward to all that stuff going down. Yeah, you could hunt. You could shoot those coyotes or foxes at your new place if you wanted to. You can use a game caller for that. What did you say? I could use my... You can use a game caller for that as well. You play like a tape of a wounded rabbit

and use like a small flashlight every five minutes or so. Kind of scan the area until you see lights and then you hit them with, depending on the legality of your area, you can use more candlelight but like a half million candlelight light, you just hit them with that. They're blind as fuck and their eyes are glowing in the night and you just hit them with that. They're blind as fuck,

and their eyes are glowing in the night, and you just shoot them between the eyes with a scoped rifle. That's how we usually coyote hunt. Hmm. Or fox hunt. I don't like shooting the foxes, though. They're pretty. Hmm.

I've never shot anything, really. Just, I mean, I've beaten to death the one squirrel who was already sick. We should do that, maybe. We should go on a hunting trip and kill something big. You should shoot a deer. You should take its life and see how you feel. I would do it. A little part of me is a little soft-hearted

about it, but I feel like regardless of how the whole thing, I'd be slightly richer for having had the experience. I might kill more deer. I might be one and done. I'm not sure. You'll know after you do it. It's just a lot of fun to do. for having had the experience. I might kill more deer. I might be one and done. I'm not sure. But I want to, yeah. You'll know after you do it.

It's just a lot of fun to do. Part of it is the preparation and all the things that you do beforehand. It was like we were hearing, what's his name? Star Lord talk about it the other day. Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt was talking about

why he likes hunting and he liked being connected with nature and how the sun comes up and you're in the deer stand. Can we pause for a second let this go down in history is the moment that woody knew an actor's name that was impressive all right carry on but yeah he was talking about the emotions and and and i think he liked the camping as much as the hunting he's like basically you're part of nature, right? Like you didn't go there, you were already there.

You know, like the sun is coming up, the birds are flying around and you can't experience that unless you're hunting, right? Like if you're just regular camping then you're an intruder there. Things are different because of your presence. When you're a hunter, you're not there.

You know, you're just hidden. You're up in up in a tree 20 25 feet covered in camouflage from head to toe wearing all kinds of chemicals that block your smell or make you smell like dirt seeing things that people don't get to see because if people are there they don't happen you know only hunters get that he used the uh the the old analogy uh i guess it wouldn't be analogy he's the old saying, if a tree falls in the woods, he's like, but you're there, so you hear it. And it's like, ah, yeah, that makes sense. I like that.

So there's that part of it, but there's lots of different kinds of hunting. As much as I like the sort of ambush style hunting where you sit in your deer stand or you sit overlooking an area where the deer feed at dawn or dusk. It's a lot of fun

in that fucking helicopter riding along just mowing down pigs. I really want to do that. I talked to Kitty today about a bunch of business stuff. She's actively working on the paintball thing now. We need to catch up on the pig hunting

thing though. I really want to do up on the uh the pig hunting thing though i really want to do that but the paintball it'll be just as much fun shooting our fans i think with a paintball gun though as it is shooting pigs with a an assault rifle um yeah i don't know there's a bunch of good stuff coming up i i feel like the the patreon thing has just been like some of the benefits we got the postcards out we got the you know the we do has just been some of the benefits. We got the postcards out. We do the hangouts. We do the of course, PKN, things like that. But some of the other stuff

coming. We're going to do the paintball thing is coming up. The warmer weather season is coming around. I'm getting a new computer. Not a new gaming computer, but I bought a Mac Mini. And with that, what I'm going to do is I'm going to host the Google call on that with a new Google ID. And then now whoever talks, even if it's me, the camera will switch.

Some people don't understand that. It wouldn't make any sense for Woody's computer to shift to his camera because it's from his viewpoint. So why would it show him talking? The program doesn't work that way. You need another computer. Right. So we would it show him talking? It just, the program doesn't work, work that way. You need another computer, right? So we'll have this third person who's not really a person hosting the call.

And then just whoever talks, it'll switch to all the time. And, uh, and that'll be that. And that'll be kind of cool. So, um,

yeah, that'll be good. Yeah. So I, I look forward to that. I do too. I think, um,

I think the paintball thing is going to be really cool. I hope we get a bunch of fans out and get to meet all those people and shoot them in the ass with my paintball gun I really want to shoot some people with my paintball gun it's been a while I miss it I was watching Wolf play earlier and he was on the back of Nuketown on the porch

and he was aiming straight down over the side of the porch kind of camping waiting on someone to try to flank around the back and this guy walked straight under and he shot kind of like aiming straight down over the side of the porch, kind of camping, waiting on someone to try to flank around the back. And this guy walked straight at her, and he shot him in the shoulder. And I'd already told Chiz, I was like, oh, this is great. If he shoots the guy in the top of the head, it's going to hurt so fucking bad. And he shoots the guy in the shoulder, and he's like, I didn't want to shoot him in the head.

And I'm just like, what? Come on, Wolf. You had your moment to set that guy in his place. We're calling you puppyppy from now on. He's got one of those first-strike round shooting rifles, and those just hurt more. They're conical projectiles that are rifled, and they've got paint in them.

They're a paintball, but shaped like a modern bullet, and they hurt a lot more. Do they have feathers on the back of them, like a shuttlecock? No, not like a feathers on the back of them like a shuttlecock no not like a shuttlecock but they've got sort of i could show you a picture of one but they're just they're shaped like a conical projectile like a nine millimeter bullet really um search first strike round yep they um it's not exactly like a shuttlecock but

I can definitely see why I had that in my head they've got it's like a little paintball half circle in the front and then nearly a shuttlecock in the back hmm yeah I see what you mean I'm looking at it

and they're much, much more accurate. There's a little... Yeah, paintballs can kind of tend to curve. And because these have effectively rifling on the side, they tend to go straight. Yeah, they're 25 times more accurate. It looks like it's shooting a 6-inch group instead of a 30-inch group from a standard paintball.

So they almost... We were watching some videos of people who had scopes on their rifles, and they had a GoPro set up so you could, you know, you're looking through the scope Call of Duty style, and he'd almost made like a Call of Duty montage. I think his name was Pistol Peter or something like that. I know paintball people hate airsoft, but I'm telling you, every airsoft is is like a first strike rifle they're just very accurate and everyone has a scope or at least a red dot and you use it and the bullet goes where you shoot i think it has a lot less arc to it than a typical paintball does you know just well um the the field uh the um what is it uh the place that has the Nuketown field, wherever that is in Chicago,

they have Airsoft, I'm sure. I think CPX does too. But either way, we could play some Airsoft. I'd be willing to try it. I've never played. I do both. The knock against Airsoft is a lot of people will pretend they weren't hit and, like, cheat.

But when I played, I don't know if I was lucky. Maybe because it was hot out, people had less clothing. Maybe that's a thing. But typically when I was shooting people, I'd shoot them a lot and they were begging me to stop. You know, it was like, I'm hit, I'm hit, I'm hit, I'm hit. You have your gun. Yeah.

Your gun is no joke. It shoots, what, is it 400 feet per second? I don't even know. Yeah. I think we shot it in your backyard and I was afraid of how hard that thing was shooting that wasn't the one I was using but you're right the gun I have is good

the one I borrowed one that was also good and had a nice scope on it people use the same scopes like you know that you put on a real rifle in airsoft and yeah anyway it hurt enough that people didn't want to be shot anymore just like paintball

but I'd be willing to play that It hurt enough that people didn't want to be shot anymore. Just like paintball. I'd be willing to play that. I think I'm still going to like paintball better. Just because, I don't know, that big paintball hitting somebody. Exploding and putting a white spot on them. I enjoy that. If I were to compare them. What's nice about paintball is it hurts more.

There's more punishment to it. The stakes are a little higher. What's nice about paintball is it hurts more there's more punishment to it uh it like the stakes are a little higher what's nice about airsoft and this was a big deal for me is the equipment is so much lighter like if you go out and paintball especially in like living legends you're carrying what like six pods on your back you know even if you're fit you're effectively a big fatty with all that gear weighing you down um in airsoft you can go out and like a coffee cup has more rounds than those six pods so you're light and fast and if you want to crawl on the ground or be really stealthy you can do that you know that that was how i had all my success i was crawling through the bushes and going places other people didn't want to go and then i flanked them and I was shooting people from the side a lot.

And if I was in my paintball gear, then it'd just be too bulky, too big. Even like paintball padded jerseys, if you wear those, I know you don't. They just make you big and heavy. I think I'm going to try to build a paintball silencer. There's plenty of manuals on how to do that. Why do you need that? It'll make the paintball gun just completely silent, just really, really quiet,

so no one would hear you shooting at them. It'd be like a whisper. But you do still need the same license that you need to make a regular silencer. That's the drawback, and it's why fire to like like a regular silencer that's the drawback and it's why i don't think anybody actually has one that's legal i see people i see instructions for illegal ones on the internet and i see i've seen illegal ones at fields before but everybody's always like you gotta get rid of that dude that's we don't want you here with that

shit like you just you just yeah so you have the license to manufacture and use one, but I would need a $200 tax stamp. Yeah, tax stamp. That's what I'm looking for, to buy it. Yeah, I don't know what the process would be, but I think I can just build one. I'm going to look into doing that. I could do it with PVC pipe. Hmm, that'd be cool.

I'm going to do it just for fun and just register it, and whenever I'm done with i'll just destroy it and that'll be the end of it let me do that that's a neat concept all right so coming up better camera work paintball trips maybe some hunting stuff and oh yeah that's the thing about the paintball trip we'll get ourselves a cameraman we'll have someone there shooting video the whole time of us, from a third person, as well as getting some GoPros on the guns or on our helmets.

That'll be filmed and edited well. We'll make sure that there's some content to be had. Some of the feedback I got from the last time is while they probably like that, they really want some more vlog to feel like they were there kind of trips. Definitely so.

It's hard to do those without a cameraman They really want some more vlog and like, you know, to feel like they were there kind of trips. Definitely. I mean, videos. So, yeah. It's hard to do those without a cameraman who's like, all right, come on, guys, get together. You know, it's much easier to be like, all right, now I'm going to go look for water. All right. Well, that's a show. Good times, Kyle. Yeah.