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Oh, it's done.
I didn't realize.
It says start streaming or start recording, and then it changes to stop.
And most of those letters are the same.
Well, not most, but a good chunk of those letters are the same.
Are we recording?
Yeah, we are.
Oh, you didn't give me the number of the episode, so I didn't know if you were just telling me that it failed the recorder.
It's banging out of the gate.
It's 263.
And after I press it, the change that it's pressed is very subtle,
and it took me a second to notice it.
Anyway, yeah, so we were just talking.
Kevin Hart was the thing?
Yeah.
I didn't even know this was a story.
Did this happen, like, today?
No.
I'll call it two days ago.
And as we say this, so call it june september 1st maybe something like that he had just bought a classic car a
barracuda which is like a 1970s muscle car and he tweeted it out it's pretty badass i'm gonna
here i'll give you a a link and i will share it with the people and talk about it because I think a lot of people listen to this.
That's what it looks like for those of you who have the video.
But it's blue.
It's shiny.
It's beautiful.
It's a 1970s muscle car.
If you have no idea, picture a blue Dukes of Hazzard looking car.
It's not the same one.
Dan got fucked up.
Yes.
And it's also funny.
Look how he's barely taller than a sedan.
That's so bad.
Poor guy.
The height won't change if he has to make the move to a wheelchair.
He's already used to it, man.
I tried to look into what his injuries are but they seem to
be keeping it a little under wraps all i found was it was major back injury that was the the quote i
keep seeing used again and again major back injury and uh he had surgery on it super recently it
might have been this morning and they think I said the surgery went well.
They also made it clear nobody was under
the influence of alcohol.
I think there were three people in the car.
He was not driving.
He was in the passenger seat.
His buddy was driving and there's no alcohol involved.
As if that lends him any solace laying in his bed like,
but at least we were safe.
He's a cripple. Hopefully he's not crippled. at least we were safe my fault yeah so there was a woman who didn't require any hospital treatment his buddy had some
injuries and Kevin Hart got the worst of it in the passenger seat for some reason
and he had major back injuries and he's in the hospital after a back surgery right now.
So that sucks.
I'm looking around as you're describing it.
And you're spot on.
Everywhere that's saying that he's paralyzed is saying it's not confirmed.
Which, good.
I hope he's not paralyzed.
That would be really sad.
Agreed.
It might be fucked up, but isn't it sadder to you when someone becomes paralyzed in life than if they're born paralyzed?
Because it's still sad, but it's like you didn't ever know how cool legs were.
I'll take it a step further.
When an athlete has an injury, it's sadder to me than when a regular
person has an injury right like if you're a runner and then suddenly you
lose your leg from the knee down it's like oh that sucks but if it happens to
like a mom who you know barely gardened and was she even using that part of her
leg not a lot not like this runner This guy over here had plans of climbing Mount Everest,
and that lazy fuck just used her leg a little.
So like, if a pianist loses a hand,
it's a bigger tragedy than a regular person.
Yeah, that is true.
Yeah, so.
But I like it more where I'm the version that's saddest.
Like just an unexceptional person, who they lost their legs, you know.
But yeah, like a blind since birth to me seems like it'd be way easier to do that
than it would be to go blind in the middle of your life.
Because it seems like every time you ask anyone like, hey, if you have to lose one,
or you can only keep one of your senses or whatever, what's it going to be?
It's always sight. Always. Getting rid of taste wouldn't even be that bad because you just get
fit as fuck there could be advanced yeah your taste is out i've heard there's more than five
senses yeah there's like a bunch of subsenses and things but for this but i don't know what
those are called and so we're going to stick with five okay okay like like eyes like if i were to
go blind like right now i'd just be fucked
like what like think about trying to make yourself out to your like if i didn't have my phone right
here actually no i would have forgotten that i put my phone right there and so it's just he's
blind and retarded this is a tragedy this is a twofer he doesn't even know how to put his palms on the desk.
It's ruined.
He's not even searching.
You know what?
Just let him starve.
Sense of touch, though.
Like, that might be more valuable than we're giving it credit for.
What if that's an extension of all your mobility?
You know, like, we're not talking about just feeling pain and heat.
Like, without touch, everything's bad.
Can you drive without touching?
Can you chew? I don't think so. so can you talk my wife gets dental work done and has a lisp what if she really lost her
whole sense of touch i never considered the talking part you're like they just got from
the dentist that might be the most important one you hear about people This is either a real thing or I read a story about it
and I'm thinking that it's real.
But people who don't have a functional...
Whatever part of the brain is responsible for touch and pressure
to where they won't get...
One thing is that they won't get sensations
about when they have to go to the bathroom.
So they have to go to the bathroom on a regimented schedule.
I really like that.
Not that I love the sensation,
but it's one of the most useful ones.
That would be terrible.
Now you get a 30-minute gurgle warning
for your pooping.
But imagine if you're just sitting there
in your car driving
and then you just start to smell shit
and you're like,
oh no, I missed my poop schedule.
What if you adapted though?
You can still smell, right?
So what if it's a particularly rancid fart
and you're like,
that's my dump alarm, guys.
We gotta head off. Do you smell that, honey? smell right so what if it's like a particularly rancid fart you're like that's my dump alarm guys we gotta hate hanging out with your top a lot we need
to pull it the Denny's that would suck and then like um like you know like if you step into
a shower that's way too hot immediately you're like or if you like a cold sensation or something
sharp you accidentally put your elbow up against like you would just inadvertently put too much
pressure leaning on that elbow you didn't realize there was a jagged metal thing on the chair you
were sitting in and now you got a deep gash
did you know I live like that for a while I mentioned here and there in the
show but I had nerve right yeah so so here's the scar you can barely see it
but anyway my older nerve was damaged and there was a time like I burnt this
part of my hand had no feeling and these parts of my fingers had no mobility. No mobility.
What I'm getting to is I burnt it
and I noticed by smelling the burning flesh on my hand,
I discovered more than once, more than once, twice,
I discovered a thumbtack in it, just visually.
Like, ah, who left that in there?
You know?
Where were you hanging out that there're just thumbtacks face up
my house in ocean city i i guess i don't know maybe my mom crafty or something but yeah so
um i yeah i i and then over time the feeling came back to like a two out of ten like it's
not very good yeah but you can like you can tell if you're you don't have to rely on the scent of burning flesh anymore no i would i'd probably notice that i remember
so when they measure your ability to feel things this is how they do it they have a bunch of sticks
with like fishing lines sort of poking through it and the fifth fishing line is different diameters
so they touch you with one and it bends very easily and it can
only really tickle your skin you would feel it but even the smallest amount maybe there's parts
of your body just like a thin plastic hair kind of thing yes right and you would definitely feel
it on your palm but if i put it on maybe your shin bone or something you're just not that
sensitive there you're deltoid places where tattoos don't hurt yeah and then it gets thicker and thicker until eventually it's you know like strong it'll poke
you or like you know and they were touching my hand they had me close my
eyes and they were touching my hand with different parts of it to see where my
feeling was but they didn't tell me that they stopped and like I swear it was
like 30 years ago and it still hurts my feelings and And I'm trying to feel it and I'm focused
and I'm concentrated and everyone else
has moved on to another topic,
but my eyes are closed so I have no idea.
And then I was like, I think I feel it.
Is that now?
And I opened my eyes and they've all like,
they're doing something else.
And it's like, youholes like I was I was
trying really hard and I I don't know if I felt something or if it was a phantom
something that happens with nerve loss but yeah they're just assholes look
those goddamn doctors I get something similar when I go to the eye doctor
because it was my mom by the way not just doctors carry on your mom wasn't even
helping you out he'll figure it out he knows what a stiletto feels like can you feel take it straight
to that like i can tell my oh and as you were starting that story i was like i was like tossing
around the idea in my head of being like ah the owner nerve but other taylor in my head was like
don't risk it don't like you you're probably wrong don't see the owner nerve i know and then you said
it and i was like you should have rolled the dice yeah no that happens with people's names like i'm
30 sure her name is jessica should i call her that you know I ask her her name? And it's like, ah, I could have gone with it.
Damn it.
Those little victories that you see right through your fingers.
But my eye doctor will do something like what you described,
where I feel like eye doctors see so many people with eyes even worse than mine
and as bad as mine every day that like they almost try and give you passive help
on the the reading thing okay but the annoying thing or like like it'll be the top layer and
he'll like put it on my old prescription i'll be like i gotta be honest with you i think there's
an m up there but other than that i'm not getting much and he's like okay okay good start no reason
to be worried oh cool and then you like see that thing that he puts in
front of your eyes just getting thicker and thicker and thicker last pieces yeah
and but the thing they do that I hate is you probably don't know cuz you have
great eyes they're not great but I've never been told there's no reason to be
worried so like I'll be in there.
And what they do initially, usually when I go in
to get like my cornea and everything scanned,
is I go in, they say, do you have contacts in?
And it's like, you've seen my prescription.
And I drove here, I would hope I have them in
or there'd be dead people littered on the highway behind me.
So yeah, of course.
It's like, all right, take those out, throw them away.
We'll get you a test pair afterward.
And then I don't know what the fuck the doctor does,
but they always have me take out my contacts,
and then we'll either dilate then,
and then I guess just leave for 10 minutes and let the dilating work.
And if I'm regular blind without my glasses,
I'm terrifyingly blind while I'm dilated
because everything's just bright and
colors are streaming together and I've got astigmatism and so like yeah you
know where you'll see photos in like a stop sign or stop light rather at night
and the lens will kind of have the green light here and then there's two like
streaks of green coming off of it that's what my eyes do I have one eye with
astigmatism they didn't figure one eye with astigmatism they
didn't figure out I had astigmatism until I was 17 or 18 and so like no I
was in my 20s my early 20s and I thought that everybody just saw light that way
that like when you were driving at night yeah of course there's streaky lights
all over the place that's just a reality that's what lights are like they're
kind of shooting stars right and if you drive too late at night it gets stressful because they're overwhelming
and then my dent my doctor at the time was like you know you have pretty severe astigmatism in
your left eye and i'm like i didn't know i don't know what that means he's like do you see light
like this and i'm like yeah is that bad yeah well we can fix that right up and light at night now is
a dream compared to that but
they'll abandon me in the little observation area for like 10 15 minutes and then when they walk
back in or the nurse does they always have like a little quip of like oh you know i don't want to
turn the tv on or don't want to you know look at your phone or anything because i just sit there
like a like a mannequin just a just a doll because i can't look at anything i can't focus if i was
trying to use my phone even like this wouldn't be enough i it's terrible yeah i i uh last time i had
my eyes dilated they like so i can't see anything and they send me to drive home and i get to the
car and it's like i don't know why everyone seems okay with this. Like, I think I'd be better with four beers.
So I had this idea that I'll just sit in the car and read my phone and let time pass.
And it's like, why did I think this was a good idea?
At what distance could I, like, no distance, radio maybe?
You're like, ah, too far away, but too bright.
My eyesight is deteriorating.
And sometimes I'm legit not sure.
Has the world just gotten dimmer?
Or do I require more light than I used to?
Probably the second one.
It's usually a little dim.
You know, like the lights are dim.
A lot of the rooms in this house,
we have lights on dimmers.
And they're not up all the way. Or I in the garage which isn't so well lit now it is but it wasn't and and or like you said maybe i just can't see i do you know what your numbers are
for your eyes not because you like right now you're not wearing anything are you i'm not yeah
i most of the time i don't wear anything if I have any like work to do work being like like I don't know writing a bunch of
checks or adding some things up then I'll put my glasses on so I think I
might throw them on more often because I read a little better every so often for
the show it's like I buckle up this is a two-minute read thing you know like am I
the asshole and I do a little better with glasses on so maybe
i should do that yeah i know that's the thing that's i you know you'll have things like zombie
apocalypse survival scenarios for me it's like if it happened right now i lost my glasses and i
haven't gotten new ones yet and so i would last for four months worth of contacts.
And I could stretch that to eight months before my eyes start getting infected.
And then I'm done.
Like, it's just not useful anymore after that.
Yeah, Mike.
I need my glasses.
Well, I'm joining you, it seems.
Just year by year, a little closer.
A little closer.
It's just year by year, a little closer, a little closer. It's funny, like, I got the advanced lesson on the eye thing early on, but I'm not looking
forward to what you're describing as like the body falling apart, where it's like, man,
I didn't, I still get into the squat motion like I'm 22, but then i push up and i realize i'm not 22 and this
is taking a toll on my body like i don't i'm not looking that's what i dread the most about aging
are like those little injuries where i think louis ck had a bit about it where he's like
you know what do i do about my foot doc i was like oh take three advil a day
he's like okay when will that fix it it's like no that this is just who you are now
okay and when will that fix it it's like no that this is just who you are now my observation hasn't been like permanent injury like like louis ck's bit it's slow healing that's
the thing you know and and in terms of injury it's just slow healing everyone understands that
in terms of working out i keep like i see these YouTube videos they're like are you pushing to failure what you think is failure is not actual failure
failure you know you need to take yourself to where you can't do another
one and that's set one do five of those and then and I'm like dude if I did that
I'd work it takes six days to come back from that that's a lot like that's rough that's
not a i don't think that's a good game plan for a 46 year old it's not like i i do until failure
for some things but it's stuff like farmer's walks where if i'm really that exhausted i'll drop them
and that's the end of that and they'll fall to my sides and i'll be fine they won't even hit my feet
if you tell people like i was reading some i need to find the fitness guy so I can send it to you.
But somebody who's like,
he was saying how people who say bench until failure,
he was saying that's a fucking terrible idea
because all you're going to do is get to night.
I don't remember.
I'll have to look it up.
It wasn't a YouTuber.
It was like a blogger, a fitness blogger.
Maybe it was on bodybuilding.com.
But he was saying like what this means for most people is they get to like 85% of their output and then they want to
go until failure. And so they just throw all form to the wind and it becomes, now you're throwing
your back weird. Now you're trying to squat and you're ending up arching your back or you're
dead lifting and you're pulling incorrectly. And like people get injuries because they try to go to uh to failure on those compound lifts when like like
if you're trying to do overhead press until failure you're gonna end up doing that thing
where you like lean back and like twist your back just try to finagle it up and i don't know like
i'm very easily convinced by these ripped guys like this their bodies their resume how can you
just look that
guy's got better abs than me clearly I should do what he did the way I think about it is like like
I'll look at that guy's picture and it's like if he came up to me while I was working out in my
basement was like hey bro you shouldn't go until failure what am I gonna say he wins the matchup
right if anybody comes in that room and is like all right i'm trying to get fitness advice
definitely not you in the red shirt this guy with somehow 14 abdominals yeah and no shirt at all
he's the one he's the guy it's because he's not embarrassed so uh oh no this is related to working
out i swear you are now talking to what i think is the world's most popular World War Z streamer. You know?
I saw on the subreddit, they're like, what are you streaming?
Hell yeah.
If you want to be on top of your field, choose a very small field.
And someone came up with this idea that I should do push-ups for failure.
And I think I might stream again tonight.
But we have this rule set,
and it might be more push-ups than I'm capable of.
We'll see how this goes down.
So failure, like every time you die in the game,
you have to do push-ups?
Well, I don't... Oh, I'm sorry.
It would be in-game failure.
So the way it works is if a teammate goes down,
you can pick them up.
That's two push-ups.
If I go down, it's five,
and if the mission fails, it's ten.
So if we all go down, that's 21, the quick math.
If we all go down in this shit show
where they come up and down,
like I rescue that guy, that guy,
but not the third guy,
then I go down or I get picked up.
In one of the games, I had to do 30 or 31 push-ups.
And if that happens a couple of times,
I'm pretty fucked.
So we'll see. it might be fun.
I might make an ass out of myself, but it is what it is.
I'm glad you jumped on.
I didn't even know you had a Twitch channel.
I should have known,
because I've never watched a Twitch stream.
We've live streamed PKA on Twitch with you.
Oh, I thought that was Justinin tv oh no this was twitch yeah
okay yeah justin tv became twitch or something we might have actually done ice poseidon on youtube
but we did do one on twitch yeah yeah we did him on youtube because he got he'd already been kicked
off yeah but i think maybe tucker was on twitch i'm not sure yeah i didn't even know you had
like 102 000 followers do i i didn't even know how does how
does how does twitch work is a follower and a subscriber the same thing no what is that okay
so i'm really out of my depth here but i think so a subscriber used to mean someone paid five bucks
a month and it got split between twitch and youtube that That was a sub. But now that Amazon bought Twitch,
I'm really out of my, I don't know,
but it appears that everyone who has Prime,
everyone who has Prime, which is everyone,
has like a free sub.
So they can just like choose
which streamer is the benefactor of their sub.
And I don't even know what the streamer earns for that.
Apparently people were subbing to me. I don't know how many.
And I wasn't thanking them.
And Chiz said that was
below the minimal acceptable standards
for politeness of Don't Twitch.
That I was quite the
asshole unknowingly. People were subbing
and I'm making no mention of it.
So I get it. I wouldn't have known
either. I thought I would have assumed subscribe means the same thing on YouTube
where it's like you click it and it's free and who cares?
But I guess not.
I guess followers are free.
Yes, yes.
Follow it.
That would be more the parallel.
And I don't even know how to subscribe to someone.
I don't know what they're doing.
But I'm trying to set it up better this time.
I don't know.
Did you have a live cam on your face or just at the game?
Yeah, yeah.
Push-ups are no fun without live cams.
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
You guys, trust me.
Oh, I'm so tired.
Dude, I came back.
I can't even play well.
Like I'm ruined from the push-ups but I start the next game but
yeah I don't know I had a fun time with it so I was only gonna do it once I
really was but I got positive feedback and I guess that it's addictive so here
I am thinking about doing you know shortly I'll have pink hair and whatever else did you does pink hair and tits you know people would
probably make a twitch account it seems like it'd be fun to do we don't have a
twitch account no yeah if you did it wouldn't surprise me if you turn into a
popular streamer.
I just got to figure out how video games on QWERTY work.
Yeah. Or not QWERTY, on WASD.
See, I don't even know the word.
That's funny.
Yeah, what makes a good streamer?
So back in the day, people who weren't,
me I'm talking about,
people didn't watch me for my gameplay,
but I still did well on Twitch.
Nowadays, it seems like the gameplay is a bigger,
of more important than it used to be.
Import, importance, whatever.
Yeah.
I guess that's true.
Like you were better at games than I was,
but we were both more personality channels.
Right.
And Kyle was too.
Yes.
All three of us, none of us that great at gaming.
Yeah, Kyle might take offense to that but i mean he's he plays a lot he's he does play he's not gonna hear this he's in prison
but he uh compared to like you know the top of the guys at the top of the game right now ninja
and shroud and such i don't think kyle is there i just i don't know i don't know Kyle is there. I just, I don't know.
I don't know if you've seen it.
You remember the South park where they got PewDiePie to like guest spot on it?
No,
I didn't even know of that.
Yeah.
They did a South park about like how quickly the online entertainment game is moving to where someone my age,
what watched YouTube videos,
like kind of the beginning of the transition from mainstream media to YouTube.
And now in just like six years,
if I talk to a 20-year-old or something,
eight years, whatever,
they'll be all into Twitch.
And I don't get it in the same way.
And so like the joke in the show was
it was a bunch of kindergartners loving PewDiePie
and Cartman starts streaming, Cartman Cartman bra and doing his streaming thing.
And then it's all the third graders being like,
these kids don't even want to play the games.
They just want to watch them do.
And it's just like a funny,
like how fast the trends are moving now to where it's like four years
difference in age feels like an eternity when it's,
when it comes to what you're interested in.
But I am going to give Twitch go,
I'm going to buy that PC that I said I've been wanting to buy as soon as i get a very
smart i i was funny someone like a couple months ago dm'd me on reddit and was like hey you
mentioned getting a pc and there were there's like three or four other guys who sent me helpful
builds but this one guy was like hey this is just kind of something like if I were you, I would go with.
And it was a $4,400 setup.
And I was like, man, I appreciate it.
I'm going to go with less than that because that's fucking insane.
And you can't even stream higher than 1080, right?
I think you can.
Because it doesn't process.
Actually, I think the limit is on the bandwidth. I don't know what the hell I'm you can. Because it doesn't process? Actually, I think the limit is on the bandwidth.
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
It used to be 3,500 kbps or whatever the fuck it is.
But people were doing 1,440, I want to say.
But I'm not sure.
I have to look again.
You can stream other stuff than video games on Twitch, right? Yes. Yeah. There's a lot
of video game categories. And then just chatting is a thing where people just hang out. Sometimes
they have some sort of entertainment, like hard to do it copyright free, but they'll maybe watch
videos together or what have you. And then there's a music one too which i don't you don't have any musical talent do you no yeah but if you did that's a pretty neat area sometimes those guys blow up no i could like
i'm just trying to think of the dumbest thing like i could learn german on the stream just
just rosetta today we're playing rosetta German. That's not the worst idea.
Actually, I can make jokes out of that.
They were going to stream tax cheats or tax tips or whatever the hell.
I'm going to make a Twitch account.
I was thinking about streaming for like a week,
the idea had been sort of bouncing around in my head.
And then I saw Hut stream and he just did it so chill.
You know, my streams back in the Minecraft days, I would like sing along to songs, and it was a big show.
And I was like, I don't know if I feel like doing all that.
And then I saw Hutch, and he was just so relaxed.
I was like, I'm going to try that.
Yeah.
That's sort of what made it happen.
But yeah, streaming.
We'll see.
I think I'd probably just behave the same way I do
on the podcast on there.
Jokey and
well, not as much talking
because I wouldn't be able to focus on the video game
and the talking.
I think so.
I just say that because that's what most people seem to do.
And I would
get people engaged. And I would get better at video
games because I'd get people in chat.
This is so funny.
Me acting like the kind of listeners
that I cultivate would be
interested in giving me game tips.
So just being like, do African voice!
Do African voice!
interested in giving me game tips. So just being like, do African voice.
Yeah, that seems like the natural fit would be like going into live games
and just talking in funny voices at people.
Get little reactions.
It'd be pretty neat.
I'd be interested.
I have a new topic.
Yeah, what's up?
Say goodbye to temporary fillings.
Scientists have successfully used a gel to regrow tooth enamel.
That's incredible.
Right? So it looked really easy.
Can you link that?
Yeah.
This could have real life ramifications.
Dude, fillings could be gone
so i just researchers have mixed calcium and phosphate ions two minerals found in enamel
into an alcohol solution with the organic compound trimethylene and applied it to damaged teeth
over the course of 48 hours the gel helped create a new layer of enamel about three micrometers thick, which I presume is a good amount of micrometers.
It's more than two.
It's more than two.
All right.
And I don't know.
Somehow, I read this, and I was like, what?
All they did is mix calcium and phosphate ions into an alcohol solution with a compound of trimethylene?
Why didn't anyone else do this earlier?
Like I was going to.
You know, I was thinking of the same.
But I don't.
Look, I could pronounce like most of those words.
Why was this hard?
Why did it take so long to figure it out?
And it's like, I don't know. This is in China, so this might be real bad for your mouth.
That occurred to me too.
I'm like, yeah, and a little bit of lead, but don't tell the Americans.
Yeah.
And just a touch of our secret sauce.
That's lead.
Yeah.
That's what people used to...
Oh, go ahead.
Not only might it be possible to use the gel
for repair of decayed parts of a tooth
but it could be a preventive technique
used to regenerate the protective enamel
so the decay is never again
a problem
so like some of you out there
I think I have a scratch in the enamel
on one of my molars
and they're like yeah we'll just watch this forever
in case
it turns into a cavity because it's a scratch and there's I guess it's vulnerable and it seems
fixable now that's pretty awesome yeah like to like of course all health is like you don't
appreciate it until it's gone but I feel like like the lower level eye and tooth health is even more so we're like you don't
realize how much having teeth that work is great until you have teeth that don't work and like
like that's why people will go crazy from tooth pain it's like it's so close to your brain
you'll lose your mind people will take is that related yeah distance yeah there is
something about that like the neural distance for the impulse and and also just the fact that it's
in gums set in your jaw and as far as it's funny now that we're so advanced that like we can
critique evolution and be like you know our hands evolved pretty great our feet kind of have some problems our teeth and jaws shit tear terrible doesn't work at all you know I forget who it was a youtuber
probably a fitness guy he was talking he was explaining how shoulders or elbows
worked and he's like yeah see this is how your hip joint works you see how
this bone is fully like encapsulated in that yeah that's a
great joint but your shoulder things like sort of sitting on top it's weak once this thing breaks
it just comes out repeatedly super easy and i'm like man why do they make shoulders like hips
god god damn it i complained to the manufacturer make those better is that mom or god i'm not 100
sure teeth could be better shoulders could be better i'm still stuck on the brain proximity
thing because with teeth i'm with you somehow teeth pain is some of the worst
but i think like sole of my foot is way more sensitive than my deltoid, right?
Yeah, I need to find this.
I'm probably being dumb.
Palm of my hands is one of the most sensitive spot.
Dick and asshole.
Super painful, right?
No, you're winning me over now.
Say no more, Woody.
It was the dick and asshole part that
convinced me.
Brain proximity.
Why do
why is tooth pain so bad?
There we go.
What are you coming up with?
Okay.
Says number of nerves
is from century Dental.
It says, teeth are solid and cannot swell,
so an injury to the tooth can lead to the death of cells
in the tooth and pulp area or infection.
Okay, so...
Well, that doesn't help you fucking shit to your site.
Why are you buying ads?
You're not even helping.
Why do toothaches hurt so much?
You know, if you want me to trust you as a dentist, don't use all caps like an angry 68-year-old Republican on Facebook.
Suspiciously specific, but it worked for me.
I knew you'd get that. That is the funniest way.
When like old people use like way too many emojis and caps and being in the
business world,
I see this constantly where you'll get in,
like glumped into a big group email that has nothing to do with me where it's
like, this has nothing.
Why did you bloop me?
And it's like, Steve got a new puppy.
And it's like a badly cropped copy paste photo
into the body of the email.
And then it's a bunch of people putting like a hundred,
you know, hearts and then all caps.
Wow.
It's like, oh my God, sent from Susan. sent from my Samsung smart fridge you're sending me a picture of your
monitor it was on your computer that that's how it was on your monitor why is there a picture of
your monitor of showing a picture and just like being in your 20s in any kind of professional business setting, I feel like I'll be at a place for a meeting, a discussion that's totally unrelated.
It has to do with retail, something I'm going to do on behalf of a client or whatever.
And I will like be leaving.
age I am, like a boomer woman will be like, before you go, could you, I can't figure out how to get this screen dragged to my other monitor. How does that work? How do you do this? And,
and I have this laptop hooked up to this bigger monitor, but see, when I close the laptop,
it turns off up there too, but I need to close the laptop because it's, we have a green initiative
here and it's like, oh my God, this is literally a problem I need to close the laptop because we have a green initiative here.
And it's like, oh my God,
this is literally a problem I had to solve for a woman
a couple of weeks ago.
The pressure.
Literally, like I, she was like,
I need to have my laptop screen plugged into this big
monitor, but I can't leave my laptop screen open.
So I was like, well, I'll do what you should be doing.
Let me Google it.
Yeah, right. All all right and it turned up
we're gonna go to your system controls we're gonna do this and that and by the end of it i was like
there's no way this is gonna he's gonna pump my tires to the people that i came here to talk
to at all so that is funny at cisco people who manage technical people were not that technical. So this played out so many times and I always enjoyed it.
Like, all right, but here's my boss's boss's boss going to present to us.
There's 300 people watching.
He's presenting but not using his own computer.
So he had to take the PowerPoint and put it on like a network drive.
Now this poor fuck is being observed by 300 people all of them technical all of them
know the answer to this judging him on his ability to connect to like map some network drive to find
his powerpoint on a stranger's computer and it's like all right you let's see you're my
boss you earn more money in three months than i do in a year you better know how to map a network drive and i i just always enjoyed it all the tech people are sitting there just like
just no just do this i want to get a long lunch like i was promised
i was not me i i just like oh you just enjoyed it yes it's a distinctly statistically watching them
suffer and I know they know they're being judged so I just judge just judge
it let them put them oh they're like it's funny watching like the
generational gap even in like the kind of stuff all day like I'll go on behalf
of the client to like a retailer like fucking Walgreens or CVS or whatever and
it depends on the retailer because all the buyers are different
but sometimes the buyer is like
the guy who buys for the categories the guy I'm
presenting to and
sometimes it'll be like a 68 69
year old man and
they are set in their ways they have
like absolute power to decide what
goes in the produce section or what goes
in the fucking
cosmetic section or whatever and so
like you can prepare like a nice thing everything's set up and they'll get there and be like uh
no we don't have hdmi i don't know what that is do you have a hard hard print out just just just
paper just have paper i could look at and i always bring that now because it's just
like yeah well you know now we can't make eye contact while we're talking looking down and
that makes sales a little more difficult so there you go you old faggot yeah that's obnoxious who
was it um someone in my employment along the way told me the platinum rule. Have you heard this before?
Not under that name. Maybe I'll know.
Maybe you know it already. But the golden rule, of course, is do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But there's a higher level. And it's do unto others as they would have done unto them. And it's like, hey, I might prefer text. That's my preferred communication method, but if yours is voicemail,
then I leave you voicemails.
If yours is paper, then I give you paper,
and that's the platinum rule.
That's the good way to do it, ideally, if you know.
So the way I implemented it is,
if you're above me, platinum, if you're below me, gold.
Or even silver, or you know what,
you're not getting any precious metals
it's like if you're above me we communicated your favorite way if you're below me we
communicated my favorite way how often did you have to sit in boring meetings
often or oh yes yeah i would i would guess that I if I worked an eight-hour day
Three of them might be meetings and were they mostly complete waste of time that could have been settled over email
I read one thing online
That's so frustrating.
I read one thing online.
It's funny.
We should talk about this kind of stuff because Kyle can't empathize with this as much, like the corporate life.
But like I read something online in like a business journal of this guy who became CEO of a company after working his way up.
And he was like, one of the first things I did in our conference rooms, I removed all chairs.
Oh, I think I've heard this.
Yeah.
And so you want to have, oh, we have a meeting slated from 11 to 3.
I guess we're not standing all afternoon.
Oh, wait.
Now suddenly everybody's willing to wrap after 40 minutes and we've got it done.
Okay.
All right.
Now we don't have to bring in lunch for everyone.
Now you can all just do your own thing on your own time. go like and that is great i would love to do that as i became more senior um like when you're junior and you attend meetings you're hoping to be heard when you're
senior in your 10 meetings they're hoping to hear you and as that like morphed uh i started being
more of an asshole like you know they what can you
come to this we need your opinion on whatever like this meeting has no agenda
I don't have time for me yeah you block out what we'll be talking and it also
helped me a lot like it if there's an agenda I would come to a meeting really
prepared if there was no agenda then everything felt like a pop quiz, and I didn't like that. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I agree with you there.
It's a bit of an almost character flaw in me.
People happen in the paramotor world will say,
hey, Woody, I've got a question.
Do you have a minute?
No reply to that asshole.
I don't know what your question is.
Why has it got to be a pop quiz?
Why don't you ask me the question,
and then when I see it,
I'll get back to you with an answer.
That's like a version of, can you do me a favor?
Before you know what the fucking favor is.
It could be, could you take the trash out?
Or it could be, can you drive to my parents' house
and do this in the yard for them,
because they can't lift up the rock that they don't want there anymore.
That's suspiciously specific taylor
but you're i'm like but taylor would be really good at picking up rocks i think
it's like calling you've been training for three years for this you're all holding out
you thought it was for tinder but now it's coming
together now it's all yard work related yeah now anything that's like slightly big you know
my girlfriend whoever's helping me can just use the I can't do it you do it it's like when you
could if you tried college try the uh yeah The meeting thing is so fucking true.
And you're right about the junior, senior thing,
where I've noticed when I was green and being brought in as a consultant or whatever or a representative for some companies,
I'd always want to, even if I wasn't adding a ton,
I'd want to say stuff so that they knew I was engaged.
Now, with the clients that I'm comfortable with
and have really good relationships with,
it's like if they invite me in for a meeting that goes an hour or two and there's no absolute necessary reason for me to talk, I will sit there in silence and
not add anything because anything I add, I'll think about it first and be like, is this
prudent? Is this necessary? Or is this gonna spin off into a 20 minute side conversation
from someone else at this table?
And it's like, no, I just,
just say almost you orate to me what you're thinking
and I'll compartmentalize and deal with it.
Like I don't wanna be here any longer.
A parallel here, like in the tech world,
it's easy to not know something, right?
Everything's always changing. There's new techs coming out and such and when I was junior I would
try to hide that because you know I like it didn't want everyone to know what an
imposter I was that like I actually don't know what the fuck I'm doing well
when you guys aren't here I just Google Google and tried like, you know, get by. And then as I became more senior, it was like,
if I don't know something, that's something pretty obscure. You know,
like I'm more comfortable in my own skin saying like,
I need to get back to you on that. And then like invariably,
the senior version of me that would get stumped was like, Oh, like, you know,
one or didn't know that shit. Like it,
it was popular for three months, nine years ago. Like, of me that would get stumped was like oh like you know what i didn't know that like it
it was popular for three months nine years ago like get the out of here with that idea
yeah that is funny like and so often i've noticed in like someone will use you know a
what is the an acronym or something you you know, business meetings where it's like,
we got a, we're putting an SAM over on the TP, TPS, and then we're going to drive that right
into DAW. And it's just like, sometimes I've noticed like it is the most senior people who
will just straight up be like, I don't know what you mean by this. What is this? And everybody else
in the room, you can see a feeling of like oh good because i was
pretending that i knew what you were talking yeah i saw it phrased really well i wish i could
get it word for word right but they're like dumb people seek to confuse their audience and smart
people seek to enlighten them and you know like junior me would be like oh we've got to populate
this db or whatever and then senior me was like,
yeah, we got to import the data.
Or just like, I don't know,
just make it a little.
Something simpler.
Yeah.
Look, nobody was impressed
with words they didn't know.
Like that's not specifically right.
But like at least in the tech world,
no one was impressed with descriptions
that only other comp sci guys understood.
That doesn't mean you're extra smart.
That means you're incapable of
communicating with guys who aren't you and you had you probably had like managers coming in
and like trying to articulate tech things being like why can't we just fix the internet tubes
in this way so that it does that did you you have that? Or did they mostly like let,
let the tech do tech and we do, you know, margins and everything?
Yeah. So sometimes like I would consider it my job to make sure that my manager wasn't
ill-informed, you know, like if he's going to present this way, I need to set him up for success.
And early in my career, super early, I was probably still in school, maybe 21 or something,
a guy was like, your job is to make your manager look good.
That's your job.
And I didn't accept it.
I was like, no.
My job is to look good, my job is to serve the company,
this and that.
Later on, I evolved to understanding
what he was talking about, you know,
like set your manager up for success.
He has his own mission from his boss
and he has it from his and if you focus yourself
on making your manager successful, well shucks.
You know, that helps him, that helps you,
that helps the company.
You might think that you're helping the company
by preventing your dumbass manager from doing the wrong thing.
You're probably wrong.
He probably has a level of visibility in this as to why he's doing it that you don't have from underneath him.
So setting up your manager for success, it's a win.
And then it also sets you up for promotion.
For sure.
He will be inclined to give you the cool raise.
I don't know if your group, everyone you the cool raise. Right. I mean,
I don't know if your group, everyone gets the same raise, but that's not how my groups worked.
You know, some guys were getting 8% and some guys were getting one, you know, which one you want to
be. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, that's, that's good advice. I mean, I'm sure it's different in what
I do, obviously from the tech world, but you know, work to make your manager look good.
Like, and I can, it's funny that you you're like and I rejected that because putting myself in my
21 year old self I would have done that too or I would just be like fuck you if I do something good
I want all the
To me but like then you kind of realize later. It's like oh wait
If my manager goes and is an idiot in front of people who are going to give us business or don't give us business and it's because the tech isn't properly explained to him, it makes me look retarded.
Shit.
Because it just shit flows down, rolls downhill.
Yeah.
Or in my case, I think I was much more internal than you are, your customer facing.
But like if my manager looks like an idiot to his boss,
my group is not thriving.
You know, let's make the group thrive.
Let's make my boss should be really impressed
with my manager in that chain.
And yeah, that turned out to be really good advice.
Yeah, that is good advice.
But stupid ass 21 year old Woody was like,
no, I was too pure for for it i'm too cool for school
everybody goes through that phase and then like i think later than that you start going through
the phase that i'm in now where it's like every day you realize that you're dumber than you thought
you were where there's just you'll learn something
new every day where it's like wow i really don't know anything about that and that's a whole field
of expertise that people have or you know oh man i was so sure on this nope fucking idiot and i
wonder how long that goes that probably just goes the rest of life i i heck if I know but like I'm thinking like you know when I
got into my 30s and such it started to evolve into what I said before it was
like if I don't know it that thing is probably some weird corner case that
like it probably does I've been doing this job for 20 years now and I pretty
much know this one you know like uh yeah
we honestly
last night I was gonna stream last night but I ended up going
flying and I hung out with my paramotor
friends till midnight and
oh nice we're like you guys go
to a bar or something and yeah so flying
wrapped up around quarter of eight and then
we got to dinner at eight something
and it was uh it was a
tavern did they have taverns everywhere that's a. And it was a tavern.
Do they have taverns everywhere?
That's a dumb question.
Yeah, yeah, a tavern.
Those are neat.
It's kind of like a hole-in-the-wall bar, and they got pretzels and stuff.
No, better food than that. Like, I had sirloin, and there were some pool tables, and there was a bar there, and it was a biggish restaurant.
But it's open late, which is why I mentioned it was a tavern.
It was open until midnight, whereas most restaurants aren't.
And we talked about a lot of work stuff,
and it was pretty neat, and military stuff.
And one of my friends was an infantry,
like he jumped out of airplanes and fought wars.
And he just interviewed at a company.
I don't want to like dox him,
but it's a really like like it's a progressive tech company
and you know he goes they're like what's your unix shell login and your preferred pronoun
oh and his manager was really nervous like like just almost scared of
like being next to him and he's thinking in his head like lady calm down i haven't killed anyone in almost 20 years now it's like whoa
i killed a squirrel once that's kind of my where i peaked the chicken
poor henrietta
yeah like i can't be the only one that if someone asked me that i'd be insulted
i oh i was trying to help him i i thought they were i thought he had just been asked and he
wrote us all so i'm like shit i need a good pronoun for this guy it turned out your highness
is like a possible greeting and i'm like go with that go with your highness but he wasn't ballsy
enough which turned out to be good because like i thought it was a joke but then during all these like employee introduction meetings they were using
like the pronouns they'd be like all right taylor uh thanks mister
that is so fun oh how would you resist right just being like i make it confused i uh i'm gender
fluid and so sometimes i go by he, him.
And then sometimes I identify as a story, a fairy tale giant in which I go by fee-fi, foe, or fum.
Oh, no.
There should just be a randomize it.
Like, just randomize my pronouns.
I like it.
And my lord and savior Taylor he has a new gig
now I don't want to like it's not my story to tell too much but he he applied
for a job and they hired him for the job above it and he's like what happened
here and you know like did you need that to get my match my compensation they're and they hired him for the job above it. And he's like, what happened here?
And like, did you need that to match my compensation?
They're like, no, it just fit with your experience level.
And I think it's interesting, like I worked,
his job level is where I peaked, right?
So he's like turning down and dodging
what I strived so hard for.
And I find that interesting.
Like, he just, like, they hoist it upon him.
And...
Must be a smart dude.
Yeah, yeah, he's pretty smart.
All my paraphrases are really,
I think I might be the dumbest one.
They're really smart.
So, yeah, it's kind of,
I just found, I was laying it out there.
Another one just took a sabbatical.
Is sabbatical just vacation?
I don't know how that works exactly.
Is it paid vacation?
I think it's just vacation, right?
But it was longish, like months.
And I was joking because he took to it really well.
It turns out not working is one
of his core competencies and he's just really loving it he has a big beard now like it's two
months into his sabbatical long-term paid leave okay to a university teacher or worker for study
or travel that's dope yeah he's an electrical engineer uh so i don't know if that changes
the paid scenario at all but uh they seem to really highly value him and when he asked to
just leave for a while they're like anything just don't leave for good though i was i was talking to
a friend of mine who's an electrical engineer just recently they uh he and his wife came over just last night and hung out for a while.
And he was explaining how everything he had to learn to become an electrical engineer.
And now it's like, and now the job I have, I use maybe 4% of that over and over and over and over and over and over. And he's like, so something I do is they hire me to go to like the O'Hare airport and they'll be like,
the air conditioning here,
the setting is on an incorrect loop.
And so it's supposed to bounce between 69 and 71,
but because it's not set right, it's going down to 67
and then it's turning on and going up to 82. and then it just mirrors back and forth and back and forth.
And so I go there.
I go, and I rewire it, and that's it.
It's like that's all you do is you get in there and manage the AC and climate control system at airports airports and huge like malls he's
like yeah yeah yeah it's not that bad because we also learned how to work with
high voltage and ever since we had the day lesson where you always work with it
like this so that if it goes into your arms it blows out your elbow instead of
because apparently you never work on electronics like this so it'll go to
your heart and kill you if there's a misfire.
Always go like this.
So your elbows are destroyed and ruined forever, but you're alive.
And I was like, yeah, man, after you added that last little addendum to the potential danger here, you're probably pretty stoked on it.
He's like, oh, yeah, it's a pretty good gig for sure.
Easy as shit.
But, man, boring.
Boring.
My friend, he designs solar energy fields
and uh yeah so every so often we fly over them and he's like what is that like like i designed
that one and now three of the panels are like flipped over and one's in the shade and he takes
a picture and i'll let people know this thing is not at full efficiency. I think it's just funny that he uses his paramotor to inspect his solar fields.
That's a funny little way that he can be like,
guys, I have to. You have to pay me to do this thing
that I just, through sheer happenstance, is my favorite hobby.
Yeah, but you had a beer in your hand ted
and a baseball cap on and there's a tv set up yeah i need to be it's a stressful situation
yeah they're really smart the other one owns his own business which is cool too
yeah that's neat yeah he keeps saying he's going to retire but for the period i've known him his
retire date hasn't gotten any closer so now i'm just calling bullshit on him like you need to
talk to this guy who took the sabbatical he's good at not working is he like retirement age
or just like a wealthy guy who wants to get out of there uh in between i i don't know how old he
is but i'll call him 52 okay so that'd be an early retirement.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's super successful.
He can do whatever he wants.
He just needs to...
I think...
I'm painting this on him.
I suspect he gets satisfaction and accomplishment
and likes running his business.
But he also would like to have his own time and you have to pick one and you can't undo it
very easily so yeah that's entrepreneurial people seem like that
where they'll be like I'm just gonna get in make my money that I need for life
and then get out and then it like if they get out they get depressed to shit
or they die like how many men die like three years after retiring because they're
like i don't know what to do i'm just so bored all day every day i can't i'm too old to get really
into mountain climbing or any hobby that would take me around the world it's interesting to like
so elon musk i can get on board with because his job looks like fun he's just like you know what
we maybe we should sell some flamethrowers
and invent the electric car and go to space.
I think that's going to be my gig.
When Elon Musk made PayPal,
I imagine that that was a job job, right?
It's computers and finance and interest and trust
and dealing with chargebacks and bullshit
or whatever PayPal does.
Seems like work.
But then he moved from that to just large scale hobbies.
So that I get.
But there are a lot of people working
who don't need money anymore.
And when I say working, I mean,
doing shit that you'd think that isn't any fun.
And it's interesting to me that guys just
keep plugging away at that for motivations that
aren't financial so what is your motivation to just like go from vice president to senior vice
president at some bank when you could be doing anything yeah i i don't know. I know a guy. He's mid-50s or so.
He talks about how he hated.
His career started.
He was in finance, managing city budgets in the St. Louis area.
So we'd go to one of the suburbs here and then eventually the city and work on managing the budget.
And he's like, I, I just,
I wanted to retire as soon as possible because I hated it.
It was miserable.
And what I didn't realize until I left and went to the private sector instead
of the government is in the government.
You got 20% of your,
of the people there working their fucking asses off to get a hundred percent
of the work done.
And I was one of those 20% because
when my boss or my manager or whoever, my department head would give me something to do,
there was no thought in my mind of like, I'm just fucking. Nah, nah. I didn't know that was an
option, but I apparently 80% of the people do that. And then I moved into the private sector
where it's closer to like 80% of the people doing 100% of the work.
And suddenly I felt like I could delegate and I had a little more freedom. And then I got kind
of addicted to the going up the rungs at this bank and doing that kind of stuff. And it made
kind of sense to me where it was like, okay, like now you feel like you're going to get a tangible
reward for being promoted. Whereas before when you were working for St. Louis city or whatever,
if they were like, all right, you're moving up to the next rung it was more of a
how many more people's jobs are now assimilated into mine like that i now have to manage and that
kind of made me think like it it's probably just the job you choose that you get into just as much
as your own drive when you work for yourself
That's what I'm calling like YouTube and woody craft and such
It was another interesting thing because it seemed like a hundred percent of my efforts went towards my own reward
Yeah, right, you know it those efforts might be
Non-work things like interacting on Twitter something. I don't do much anymore
Or you know YouTube comments or what have you.
All your work furthered your goals
and it created this cycle where you just work more and more
and more until eventually all you do is work.
But professionally,
they kind of throttle you back. if you work 20 hours a day
someone would probably talk to you and say taylor you know we want you to be good in 2022 not just
this year but when you do it when you're on your own like no one talks to you they just love it
you know it's yeah more taylor you know i i like that he's answers every single letter that everyone
sends him always and there's no downside to it
until you burn out which is why every youtuber hits like a million subs and
like guys all this time I've been secretly depressed this is the worst
ever I'm taking guys I got into YouTube because I didn't have any friends and it
turns out working 18 hours a day I still don't have any goddamn friends yeah it's it's it's cliche now but
it was new territory back when uh you know one of them i was new uh interesting work pkn yeah
people could see this wouldn't have flown guys with kyle here he would have got bored
and wanted to talk about something else so and we're halfway through pk ends with kyle here he would have got bored and wanted to talk about something else so and
we're halfway through pk ends without kyle is that right this is four out of eight this because this
will be the fourth pka we've done without him this it is hilarious how quickly this prison sentence
is going by for us i'm shortening it because there's a he mentioned there was a real possibility
that he doesn't have to serve all eight weeks or two months whatever it is and
this whole way I've just assumed it wouldn't be bad I assumed he'd get no
jail time I figured they'd forgiven him along the way like I'm still mad about
that I've said that before and now when he said you go to a halfway house so
there's a chance I might have to go to prison I was like well definitely halfway house no no it turns out not and when he said I you go to a halfway house, so there's a chance I might have to go to prison. I was like, well, definitely halfway house.
No, no, it turns out not.
And when he said,
I might not have to do the whole eight weeks,
I figured, well,
then he'll surely not have to do the whole eight weeks,
but we'll see.
Yeah.
Well, hopefully he's in high spirits.
Yes.
I'm sure he is.
I guarantee his big complaint is going to be boredom.
Like he's so used to the highest stimulation style of life ever, where it's this show to this show, to this movie, to this movie, to video games, whatever I want this, that like go into books.
He's probably like, oh my God, Taylor, are you aware of the fact that there's commercials on TV every 10 minutes?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kyle, I'm acutely aware of that.
I got really into the view.
Who's the only thing on?
Believe it or not, I hate all of them.
They're the worst.
Call it a wrap?
Yeah, sure.
PKN 263.