Painkiller Already - PKN #265

Episode Date: September 27, 2019

It's PKN time baby!

PKN 265. What's in your hand? I'm curious. It's a dog. Oh, yeah. That's not like an accident. Yes, you got your new dog. I saw the people don't know that he texted us pictures of his puppy. No more bandana. He's got it on still. That was one of my girlfriend's first moves.

I'm convinced a lot of white women want dogs just for the accessories. So when I was young, bandanas were cool, right? Like all the coolest guys in the movies had bandanas on their dogs. You couldn't take your Frisbee dog to the beach without a bandana, which is what we do, I guess. And unbeknownst to me, over the years when I wasn't looking, they became gay. See, I was on that boat for a while too,

but then I think he's adorable in a little bandana. Yeah. He weighs six and a half pounds. And so even just holding him, it's like, careful, careful. How old is he? He's like 10 weeks old. Okay. What's his full size in pounds?

He's six and a half pounds right now he's supposed to get i think to like between 10 and 13 pounds okay ending what's the breed i didn't just occurred to me a lot of people are watching the audio oh it's uh he's uh cavapoo which is half poodle and half uh cavalier king charles which until i showed up at the breeder yesterday he would have told me that was a type of dog i would have been like aunt liar liar you're not gonna fool me that's a dumb name that's retarded but that's what he is but he just he's a little i guess kind of tannish fluffy dog and it's my favorite kind of dog i like the hybrid trend right because you know you get like a labrador for example you could just expect hip dysplasia at this point they've been so

overbred and interbred that it's a super common thing um but you do hybrid then all of a sudden it's like you didn't fuck your sister this one time working it making it better now suddenly it's yeah like the only like i don't know shit about i didn't care about the gender didn't care about the breed that much as long as it was the right size uh but i did want like to make sure that it was half poodle because i did not want it shedding or half something that doesn't shed and it seems like that's the reason poodles are so popular because you just mix it with anything and then boom that dog is hypoallergenic and it doesn't shed and poodle or mini poodle because they're am i right are they different things i think they are uh i don't i don't actually know

i know my main concern because i live near the woods is uh like an owl swooping him out of the you know my yard or something so i'm gonna have to be with him while he's outside all the time just to be extra safe we have um i don't know my birds that well but i think they're red-tailed hawks and oh yeah routinely they'll be like a cat making babies kittens i guess in the like bushes somewhere on our property they never made i haven't seen one make it to adulthood in four years a new cat make it past the hawks yet it's just one really sad cat mother maybe this is the litter my wife doesn't like the new cat i'm always i think it's cool i like every animal on our property you know like this house came with deer that's badass i didn't know it came with deer but I would like that too

and it's like you've got a big enough property with your barn out there and everything cats are useful like a barn cat killing mice or rats or s ferrets whatever gets in there I know yeah look it right anyway so I I like the Hawks too though I don't have to choose can the Hawks just let one slip by maybe every two, three years? That'd be nice. They should. So what's his name? And a him, right?

I'm getting the sex right. It's a him. Yeah, it was technically a B-day present for my girlfriend. And so she got to name him, and his name is Teddy. Teddy's not bad. I'm looking at him. Chewbacca would have been good as well. Plus the whole Chewie angle. Chewie would have been good.

I wanted it to be Rufus, but it wasn't my birthday. We take turns naming our dogs in this family. Colin named Ender after Enderman, the Minecraft thing. Hope, young Hope, named Harley after Harley Quinn, her favorite DC.

I forget what jack jackie named jack the next one's mine the next one's mine you're up oh yes and i think about it now and then i'm googling like funny dog names like oh bark vader that one's on the list i thought that i was bouncing around of course she did not like this at all I thought that cooter would be it sounds it's a silly word silly sounding word we need our dog twat what it's funny right here cooter anybody seen anybody seen snatch look at the snatch like i'll get five dogs all of them named after pussy clam cooter snatch come here clam and snatch

it's a brand new buddy cooter harry taco you can climb right onto the and change my volume maria okay let's get you off the desk. I like guy dogs. Yeah, he's really sweet so far. I can't tell the difference between guys and girls and their temperaments usually, but maybe... Jack and I developed a preference for guys. I think they're a little needier in seeking love, which is something I like in a dog. You think so?

Judge me if you want, audience. But yeah, that's been our observation. Whereas the women tend to be a little more independent. And you might want that. I can see why someone would pick a dog like that. But that's not what we look for in dogs. We want them begging for love.

No, that's what you want with a dog. If you didn't want that, you'd get a cat. Right, yeah. I would argue that the... If cats had middle fingers, they would always be up at us. They hate us. Wait, they don't have middle fingers? I mean, they got cats had middle fingers, they would always be up at us. They hate us. Wait, they don't have middle fingers? I mean, they got like a middle paw, but you can't flip that. Fact check it.

It would be cool. If I had a cat, that's what I'd train it. A little back cut. Yeah. With a claw. Like one talon comes up like Wolverine. I like that you called them talons. That might be accurate.

I'm going to go with it. I like it. Talons is cool. You're going to chew right through my fucking mic aren't you a little bit yeah it's it's i've never bought my own dog so i was excited about it and it it's been it's been like one day and so i just feel bad for him because he's so little and it's a totally new environment like he's in a suburban home now and he came from a farm in the middle of illinois like it was like an hour and a half away to go there and get him from the breeder and i don't know he's just i can tell he's like spooked at times he was when i i came uh and let

him out around noon today and just my neighbor's french bulldog barking wasn't even at him the dog was barking to get back into his own house and he was so scared he was just like over there shaking you know he is doing come already but i don't i don't think he actually understands what he's doing i think he just ejaculates just he just is so excited wherever we go because he's lonely otherwise that was a rocking joke you let it go right back oh sorry it was that was a real a real winner um all right you can get down for now buddy that'll be fun that'll be fun yeah yeah it'll be neat yeah now he's scared to death of the creaking chair i think he'll soon figure out that like taylor's the alpha stick next to him there's no reason to be scared he he has done that a little

bit already like i didn't notice because i didn't mind uh but last night i was sitting around with him and my girlfriend and she was like i feel like he's already drawn to you more than me and i'm not mad about it but don't think that's very fair it's the same way that like cats like all of her family's cats fucking love me because i don't give a shit about them i don't pay a lick of attention to them and meanwhile all the other people like oh come here kitty come here flew for a kitty and the cats like fuck you I want to hang out with this guy who doesn't want anything to do a little cat in him himself I think yes every time I walk over by that guy he actively picks me up and says go away he's got a little kitty in him yeah

I think the same thing so with my dog he goes back and forth one like you said i think my love is a little harder to come by like with dogs like i like dogs i'm a dog person but it's not all the time you know where jackie's all the time loving up animals and such and uh how many dogs are you at now two you're two now right two yeah we had three and then buddy died so yeah he's's good dog but um uh yeah so my love's a little harder to come by and i'm a little more inclined to give him table scraps and that's one of the secrets that's a tough one that's gonna be tough to resist becky's like he licked my plate that's your fault i'm like we got a thing going you can't get in the middle of that you know like yeah it's gonna make me feel like the cool guy if he goes to my girlfriend is like

can i have food and she's like no and i'm like hey i got you like this is my this is my dude here you're describing my household man exactly yeah that's you know as as the man of the house we get to be the fun guy the the fun dad the uh ender and i don't think i've ever mentioned her freya is the little girl that we watch she's here now and um she just dumps food on the floor all the time jackie's technique seems to be to never chastise the girl and just give her food until she gets tired of throwing it overboard this is fine strategy this is fine with Ender so those two were like they're pros like they're you know I don't know she eats he's just like yeah welcome to the family you're great and she eats and dumps it over one for me one for you. And that's just how they rock.

Nice. How soon until your next dog comes down the pipe? Well, I got the gun. Oh, no, not dead. I meant when you're going to get another one. Because it's your turn to name them. Well, we're going to replace one. I think we like it at two.

So that's where I had it with. So Harley's five. Should probably make it to eight ish something like that okay yeah great things don't live that long I forget they always yeah same as people like yeah Ming's not making it to 80 that's a good point he's not you think he's you think his cholesterol isn't bananas if you were to take a to the doctor and check it? No. No amount of gold bond and cold patches is going to fix that check.

You know, you're... Yeah. I have a topic. Yeah. I brought this topic, and I'm very excited about it. So there were UFC fights, which, hang in there, people. This is a better topic than you think. This guy's name, i didn't know him before

this weekend his name is michelle pieria or something close to that me and names let me paint a picture this guy like a lot of ufc fighters just a perfect specimen with his shirt off it's just fucking tiger skin thinly stretched over muscle and he's giant for the weight class he didn't even make weight he was fighting at i think 170 he came in at 172 because he couldn't get small enough in his first fight he was exciting he has this acrobatic win he wins with a flying knee which is a really dramatic like entertaining way to win the fight and he comes in against this next guy well his opponent dropped out and they couldn't find anyone to fight him so they get this canadian dude this canadian dude was chubby ish i mean he was fit but he

didn't look like fight night he fights at 155 so not only is he fighting a weight class up but he's fighting a weight class up against a guy who can't make weight he's pale and just not ripped and whatever and they're interviewing him his name is Michael Connelly and something close to that and they're like just he was the biggest underdog Tristan thank you Tristan Connelly and they're they're interviewing him and and like he had to correct them all. He's like, you guys are talking like I'm not going to win. You know I am going to win this weekend. And just everyone in the universe is like, right, right, you're adorable.

But still the biggest underdog on the card. Michelle comes out, and he starts doing ridiculous shit. I have some video. I know not everyone will get to see it. But he's doing backflips mid-fight. Like, legit fucking backflips. And I'm sorry, just to get it straight. The guy doing the backflips is the underdog?

No. The guy doing the backflips is the one who's giant. He's tan. He's the guy described as backflips is the one who's giant he's tan he's he's the guy described as you know tiger skin stretch muscle and tristan is the underdog anyway are you at the top video uh oh wait did i give you the second one i did i did to the top video i think it's actually a twitter video but it's embedded uh No, that's about Vince Carter. What the fuck? I'll link it again.

What the hell? Where is... It's this... It's like two paragraphs and then a video. Yeah. You're maybe not seeing the same thing I'm seeing. Yeah, it has a video about somebody throwing a baseball really fast. What if you clicked on the, maybe instead of the picture,

like the link way above it? Let's see. Sorry, everyone. I'm retarded. Did that work? No. No, it hasn't hasn't the link straight up not there can you copy it's just the link this is the kind of content our subscribers have been thirsting for that's what they want they hey when are you gonna have Taylor

struggling to get this I'm gonna i'm gonna do a live stream of me tonight figuring out audio settings it's gonna be great it's gonna be killer i can yeah it literally just goes to like for the win.usa.com i have another idea i think i can maybe link the tweet directly and we can watch it that way. Yeah, you can do that. Yep. Okay. I'm ready to... Okay. I guess the Twitter videos will probably automatically go.

I put mine to zero and paused it. Are you ready? Yes, I am. Three, two, one, play. The welterweight division. He pushes off Nick. He does a fucking backflip. What in the world is this?

He's got Collin in the free two. Why would you do that? It seems like he's just getting himself exhausted. He's like fucking around. In 17 seconds, for those of you that didn't see it, he jumps back against the cage then uses his feet to push forward and superman punches at the guy he does i think maybe a front hand spring and into a backflip instead of walking like i i don't know what the fuck he's thinking there

so he yeah he does a cartwheel to a backflip to chase the guy and then he eventually runs off the cage again pushes off the cage jumps into the middle of the octagon and then runs and tries a flying knee to hit him after that but that's just like how soon after this did he end up winning or was it a decision uh oh fight okay there's there's one more we're getting to this yeah that was really cool but it also look I got tired watching them watch it so when I'm on my back and you're trying to get to me I can kind of use my feet to keep you away this guy turns around puts us back to his opponent and does a flip to try to get on him it kind of works he gets both feet like this yeah yeah if he would have landed like heels

down into that guy's like intestines it would that have been like a penalty you can't gouge eyes you can't backflip and i know you can't foot stomp that's a rule right yeah as far as i know as long as he lands anywhere but his head it's cool oh okay so that was that's a weird clip i'm watching that again why he doesn't seem to be taking this seriously whatsoever well he should have because the little dude won that little dude is tough as fucking nails he's he's like an old boot in there and every this i don't know if he won the first round i actually had a hard time calling it but he definitely won the oh he did win the first round i think and uh the second i think was close and he won the third and it was just he won on all three cards i remember that is a humiliating humiliating loss

to be pulling that not doing stuff like that that kind of nonsense and then getting beat yes like i remember there was one clip of like way back in the day anderson silva doing something like that where he was like doing his, oh, I'm a serpent. You can't hit me or I'm a spider, whatever the hell. And then some guy just fucking cleaned his clock. That had to be Chris Weidman. Hell yeah. So this guy, and he nailed the interview too, right?

So he only got this fight because it was five days notice and no one would take a fight against this dude on five days notice and he raises his hand says I'll do it I can beat him and they're like, all right, you're adorable But I'll tell you what if you lose you'll probably get another chance so long as you put in a good effort And he's like no, I'm actually gonna win this you guys are all mistaken Okay, whatever, you know, but since it's a weight class above where you fight well, no, you'll make weight and everything will be cool you know but since it's a weight class above where you fight well no you'll make weight and everything will be cool that happens he wins he gets on the mic and they interview him and he's like you guys just saw me on five days notice wait do you see me on six this is like i like this guy i like him i one fight and he's like he's my guy now i can't wait to see the next tristan connelly fight

probably yeah oh that guy so glad that guy got beat yeah yeah we're doing that like that was cool to watch the antics but knowing that he lost that it's like oh that's that's pretty cringe bro yeah you should have maybe landed a few more punches before you started doing cartwheels i didn't know you were allowed to jump off of the cage yes off of it because i feel like people would do that more because it looks so cool but the fact that people don't do it more means probably not a lot of tactical advantage to it there's there's one guy anthony pettis who seems to make it work for him not lately but he's done it a couple times. But by and large, I think it's pretty telegraphed.

I think that's the issue with a lot of this acrobatic stuff. You see it a mile away. Sometimes I put myself in the octagon and just very thankful I'm not there. But if you chase me with backflips, I like my odds for the next three seconds. Even I'll see that coming. It couldn't be more telegraphed. But I'm still watching him do a backflip onto this guy's belly,

and he lost. Yeah, so I got a new fighter I like. Tristan Connolly apparently is my guy. Do you know him? He doesn't even seem to have a Wikipedia page. I don't know. He should have one for this. MMA Tristan. Let was Twitter's so is this just like a just burst onto the scene guy or is he like an older dude who is

finally getting his shot like so I don't know how old he is I do know it was his first UFC fight like I don't think I laid this out properly they they just he was he got his shot in the UFC because he raised his hand and said, I'll do it. They weren't, he was not the first guy they called. I'm positive of that. But he's like, look, I can make weight on time and I can get my medicals done in the next five days. I'm always ready. And they're like, well, we did need a warm body. So you're in. And now he won. We did need a warm body, so you're in. And now he won.

Oh, man. I bet the backflip kid feels like such a retard right now. What do you want, Teddy? So I'm looking up his age. Oh, he's 33. That's actually older than I expected. But, hey, sometimes it's not the years, it's the miles. Maybe he's got a career in front of him.

I don't know. The important thing is we are five weeks from hockey, which means very soon after Kyle gets out of prison, we can force him to listen to us discussing hockey again. And it'll be like a whole year of him having to do that. I still want a lighthearted prank for Kyle. I don't like pranks where someone feels like the victim. That's not my cup of tea. But telling him you got married is the best I have so far.

It is very believable. Oh, wait, wait. Well, tell him I got married and he doesn't believe it. We'll rationalize it by saying that she's pregnant I saw some like really astutely laid out points on the subreddit they were like oh the the tweet of the me saying I got a dog and they're like mayor Taylor's unlike the speedway to like complete domestication got house dog and relying solely on the pullout method it's only it's not a if it's a wet at this point like when there's a mistake and something i've got them in here but yeah so uh it's also funny because I wanted to name the dog, like I said, Cooter or Rufus, so I could call him Rufy.

And I thought that was kind of cute and a little kitschy. And she wanted him Teddy, and that's fine. I don't really care about the dog's name. But I saw the top comment was like, he named him Teddy? What a faggot. named him Teddy what a faggot I think you guys should adopt our system and you get next dog name I should sadly that dog gonna live 15 years unless you want two of them you'll be like my age forever I know again they get to the point where they just get to the age where they just start getting tumors everywhere.

Yeah. And their skin feels terrible to pet. It'll be blind. It'll have fewer teeth than... That was mean to say. I'm not even going there. But, you know. Fewer teeth than I think I know where you're going.

And it'll be bumping into things and you'll be like that's it's my girlfriend's family dog also named buddy is a mini poodle who's like 16 like 16 and a half or something some retarded age for a dog and it is you know when people be like oh like, oh, the dog's blind, the dog's deaf. So you got to really go, hey, scooter, come over here. This dog is genuinely like there could be a fire, an ambulance, anything going right by it. It would not know. Is it hard to look at? It's just so old and ruined. Pretty much.

It purposely, it knows the few places. It has diabetes, so it has to get insulin shots. Uh, and he, he like is barely sticking with it and he purposefully knows and lays in the highest traffic hallway in the house, like between kitchen and living room so that people will like incidentally have to brush by him so he can get some kind of,

you know, a little bit of that. And it's like, I to love him he loves him it's just like oh it's getting sad like I don't want to remember you like that oh no not to me like I to me it's not that I don't want to remember him like that it's like yeah I want to love you up but then I've got goop on my hand yeah we washed you four days ago and you smell like old dog already what is what is oozing out of you and your cataracts are hard to look at oh yeah this has got Bill Cosby eyes oh that's not good yeah frosted glass look and that's not good and I feel like like once you get to be blind and deaf

and borderline crippled you're so old it's like let's let's take that time card and punch out you know there's no way you're having fun if kyle was blind and deaf and had tumors on him he'd be like someone put me to sleep jesus christ can't you see i'm ready? I mean, Kyle's so vain. He's said before that if he lost a hand he'd kill himself. And it's like every day you can go online and see that the Chinese are coming up with some neat stuff with throw

balls. He's like, no, I'm going to kill myself. Lose an eye, kill yourself. His threshold for suicide is just so low. It's so low. It's not not right but it is where it is he'll be able to handle anything after he gets out of the clink though i wonder if it will be an impactful story for him like like an experience i should not know why i call it a story but will

it be an impactful experience will he come out like with his sleep schedule on track maybe he definitely will how long will that last well they have to be up early yeah I think 5 30 is right but they don't can he not nap midday oh I don't know right is he laying in bed sleepless at night because he slept from three till nine not that i know he ever related to that yeah he'd be able to nap during the day because apparently all he's doing is sitting in his bed or in his cell reading harry potter and um watching tv i think he's watching a lot of tv uh now i need to read the three body problem because you guys are gonna both have read it oh is he reading that on the PKA Kitty said

that was one of the the books that she sent to him which is not I guess the three body problem is not an easy it's I enjoyed it but it wasn't an easy read like it doesn't flow you don't flip the books like if you told me a guy who really liked Harry Potter I think I'd point him to like the Baba verse not three body problem which is'd point him to the Bobaverse, not Three-Body Problem, which is constantly coming to the realization that you're not an astrologist.

Is that the right one? Astrologist, that's the right one, yeah. I don't think it is. I think I fucked it up. No, it's astronomer. Astrologist is like, oh, the ghosts are out in force. I love that I fucked that up. But yeah, yeah, so I'm not an astronomer.

I'm not a, I don't know, freaking, just understanding how maps work in 3D is kind of complicated. But yeah, anyway, I think you're a pretty smart guy, but I think even if you read that book, you would constantly like come to grips with like, wait a minute, how does a micro black hole work? I don't really know. I'm sure. And then like, I remember there was like, it's like when you have a textbook in college, like you were talking about some book where you're like, I wasn't even smart enough to read it because yes you know whatever

right my mood was like reading it like oh makes sense yeah like i feel like an idiot like i remember there being like passages in some college textbooks for like a difficult course or two college mostly very easy because i took easy majors and just getting through like the same page three times and every time like having to stop myself four or five sentences in and be like all right what did it what did you just read what did it just say and it's like i don't know i have i couldn't tell you i didn't notice all the words but that's a little different than reading yeah it was for like it was like i think it was like a neuroscience course where it was going through like like the brain parts and then explaining like the chemistry between the

synapses and things and it was like this is this is too much before marketing you were gonna like build robots that perform surgery wasn't that plan no no no no no yeah i've never actually hell yeah that's what i want that to be my back story I was gonna build robots that perform surgery and then I found out the dick jokes are more fun and Mike no there was am i crazy there's something to that right I took a lot of like neuroscience courses like but no nothing to do with engineering. Engineering is my truth. Yeah, I wish I could do it. Like, yeah, that's your truth.

That's my truth now too. Fuck it. What did you used to do? Well, before I got into business, I built robots that operated on people. Really? How'd you do that? I'm sorry. That's classified.

I just noticed you have trouble setting up your surround sound system. I have a really... I just noticed you have trouble setting up your surround sound system. One of my friends is really smart. And it's kind of interesting. I don't know if you're like me, but anyone who's roughly your intelligence level, you're like, you know, I'm as smart as that guy. I am not as smart as Johnson. So what Johnson's day job is, is he cures cancer by blasting them with tachyon beams. And I guess, I think it's tachyon.

And the notable thing is you can control the depth of where these beams stop. So you hit the tumor at the right depth and then you don't really damage the tissue before the tumor like on its way there and you definitely don't damage the tumor on the other side but where the beam stops is where the tachyon particles like expend most of their energy so really cool i don't even know what tachyon is i i i swear i'd only heard it in star trek prior to him and there's a chance that i'm messing it up.

Like, oh, they're photon beams? I knew it was one of the Star Trek-y things. But, and I guess what he does in particular is, like his specialty in the process is measuring the depth that the tachyon beam is not only penetrating, but is going to penetrate. So there's not too much trial and error to get this thing in the middle of the tumor.

And I mean, it's humbling to be his friend. Like it just- He's like a stressful job. He seems to know everything about everything. Remember I was saying the other day, like, yeah, people who you have an engineering masters and they're asking you like how far Venus is and expect you to know.

He'd know, like, I guess I'd do it to him. He just knows everything. Like how many volts does a USB transmit and he would I had negotiates at five I think in an upgrades to 20 if it but he would know that he would know that and he's just he's way smarter than me he built a strobe for his paramotor but it's so paramotor friend he is a paramotor friend he if you hold paper against it the paper catches fire i'm just like this is a really bright strobe this is something else and you know maybe maybe tone it down just because you can doesn't mean

it's something that that guy needs like how long do the batteries last and it's like well i took like ultra capacity super capacitors and they do the burst to the strobes and then the battery refills the capacitors between every and i'm just like i don't even follow this but it's pretty interesting you should be like just say a number of minutes think of me humor me and think of me as an actual retard explain things to me the way you would to them and his intelligence is practical like he he's i i could i feel like i'm in love with this guy going on with this thing but like he tunes carburetors and rebuilds starters and shit like that with you're gonna fucking throw up on me

he might he's doing that dog thing that literally when we were buying him the fucking guy sitting across the table from us and like his rv or whatever he was selling that of was like oh yeah you can put him right up on the table here and he'll he'll run around while you sign the paperwork and he was like giving him a couple little treats and he was like uh this guy was the biggest fucking chatterbox of any dog seller i've ever met and i've met two dog sellers and he was like telling us like yeah back in the marines i used to uh you know pretty much spent all my time training uh crowd control dogs so real nasty real mean dogs you need to kind of force them to be mean i hated that and i got into making these little guys and i just me and my wife we just love it and blah blah blah in the meanwhile like after he's fed like a couple snacks

to teddy here who's just on the table now my my girlfriend's like you see i think he uh i think he has something in his mouth you want to check and meanwhile the dog's on the table with just a big piece of plastic he's like oh yeah don't want that in there that would have been a shame wouldn't it it's like how much more has has this dog eaten like you're giving you money and signing it and he's choking and little do you know there were four brothers and sisters not for sale well for sale cheap really that was uh they make fertilizer i felt bad for all the other little dogs in their pen i'd never went and bought the dog from a place like that and so it was like they all looked the same for the

most part because they're all the same breed of dog or at least in that pen they were he had a couple pens with different kinds and like one with german shepherds and like them seeing this guy get carried away i couldn't tell if it was a feeling of like you made it you got adopted or if it was like come back come you never know what level of emotional connection the animals have with one another just because you know they don't tend to speak english so yeah yeah what is your german dog maybe nine um i want to teach my job my dog to do stuff with german commands i feel like that sounds so badass she will be 10 pounds though like yeah yeah but i can tell them you know Yeah, but I can tell him, you know, don't fetch me that light object. Yeah, it would be funny.

She don't shine as high. See, his ears popped up right there. I'm going to condition him with Hitler speeches. I had a thing. Oh, I feel like there's no right way to buy a dog anymore. Adopting a dog, everyone's cool with. But buying it, like you go to a backyard breeder, you're a monster. You go to a backyard breeder you're a monster you go to a puppy mill you're also a monster who else makes new dogs what is a puppy mill like what does that mean i like just a big time breeder but i think they're characterized

by bad breeding conditions you know like loveless metal stalls you know a whole wall full of them like that particularly what like you treat dogs okay well i like the idea of going to like what we did which was just going to like a independent guy who just clearly has a severe obsession with dogs breeding them and taking care of them and training them and then getting one from him where i know it's gonna have a good bloodline it's gonna be friendly it's gonna be healthy it's got like a guarantee on it where he's like if it has any medical issues or anything within the first few years or whatever just let me know and even if you don't want to return them or anything because of that also let me know so then i can take more care about the breeding lines and

whatever it's like oh you you're just kind of autistic for this cool our last three so buddy we got he was adopted he was going to be put down because the person had a changing living situations and we were ready for it to just fit so we took him in uh harley i think we did kind of the wrong way we got her from a backyard breeder and her bloodline was not like anything to be proud of and her eyes are a little droopy he and you know she's just a run-of-the-mill dog I guess she's sweet but she had like health problems because of it no she has unattractive eyes but she seems to be healthy and she's six now so like we're kind of into it you can almost like gauge the endgame or five something like that uh ender was like this champion super dog uh who's i think they

actually got rid of him because his ear wasn't cropping right now he has one goofy ear that like goes off to the side and uh um but he's been super healthy and happy in his temper. If I could clone Ender, he might be the best dog we've ever had. Nice. Well, are you going to go back to that same person for the next dog? I'd like to. The challenge is if you go to like that person,

like they might not have a dog available for 18 months or something. Like, you know, they, she's not churning them out all the time. And she was far. It was like eight hours or or something how much did you pay for your dogs harley was 500 buddy was free and ender was a lot um 2500 maybe oh yeah well well i guess if he was a champion show dog or right now that i i always said like doesn't matter right like a

family dog is based on how well how much it loves like that but he really excels in that area too so he's been super healthy and his temperament is impossible to beat and uh so yeah he's really good that's the thing about great danes that's so good is nobody's ever like yeah he's got a Great Dane and it's a meanie it's a bitch it's always like Jack you will see you were the one exception to that yeah Great Danes

like they are like if a breed of dog smoked pot it would be a Great Dane because it's just like you know you just kind of do whatever I'm just gonna be a great day because it's just like, you know, you just kind of do whatever. I'm just going to be a huge dog over here. I'll be on the couch if you need me, but only my ass. Yeah.

Yeah, because I sit on chairs. Yeah, you got the one mean great day. What a bad dice roll. I know. I know. Was he mean to like your just guests or your family members too? Because I know he was the one that nipped it at Kyle, right? And kind of got pissy at him when he was over there? Or was that a different... Didn't literally nip at Kyle because he always had a muzzle on.

But yeah, he certainly threatened to, tried to. He would have. And he was the one that bit our neighbor in apex oh i remember you talking about that yeah the if people don't know this story quickly we let the dog outside we didn't know like i think we were loading hope's fencing gear into the truck and i was unaware that the dog was outside but i think the door was open for like a minute and it's just whatever you have kids you fuck up so um we got a phone call that the dog was out and had bit someone and i was like are you sure our dog's not out but i was mistaken it turned out the dog was sort of just like walking down this we have a cul-de-sac so it's

a street with no traffic and the dog was walking around and the woman went to sort of like uh heard him uh back towards the house and away from like kids that were there and our dog bit her arm was it bad stitches oh that's that's a bad bite yeah yeah so i mean it like she was there's no outside of a scar i guess there's no permanent damage like you know fingers and nerves but it broke the skin nicely so um uh it turns out in north carolina if you do that it's not the dog's fault so huh yeah does that work i i guess you're not supposed to like with dogs and then blame them for biting you. I can see where you're at and I might be there too. Like, really?

Like, seems like if a dog's aggressive, that dog's an asshole. You should be able to bop it on the nose, right? Like you could do that with any of my current dogs. But that's not how North Carolina law works. So she changed her story to she was checking the mail. works so she changed her story to she was checking the mail and while she was opening her mailbox the dog just like ran out of nowhere and bit her arm and uh but the thing is the police had already taken the first story and they had observed the change and the whole thing just kind of like never went anywhere so that's good. I did not know that.

I thought you could pretty much... We're people and they're dogs. So like if one of them hurts us, it's like they are a lower caste of society. Yeah, right. I see where your head is, right? It's not crazy. If you accidentally kill your dog,

you don't go to jail unless you were like... Accidentally, you said. Yeah, if you accidentally like run over your dog in your driveway or something it's you're not going to jail for that you actually run up your kid in a driveway you might you're probably gonna go to jail for that that's a big mistake yeah yeah so I don't know we were never really we have of course we have a big homeowners insurance and then we have an umbrella policy on top of the home like We were never really personally worried, but the insurance company was doing their thing,

and they stopped replying to answers to questions, and it just sort of didn't go anywhere. I just set one of those up, an umbrella policy for everything, and I still don't know that much about insurance. It's just one of my best friends has his own insurance agency. And so every time he's like, Hey, got another good idea of something for you to add and it's real cheap. I'm just like, just fucking just do it. Don't even just do it. Like, it's fine. Just as long as you're not adding a bunch of money to my bill. I don't know how to like, so my father insisted I get an umbrella policy because i was gathering a little wealth

and you know i don't know someone hurts themselves on my property or something and it's all gone like everything i've ever worked for like that would blow so it made sense but you're like your friend just comes up with things hey taylor i got an idea uh if I come up with, I mean, car, home, and then bundling that. Did you know there's iPhone insurance? Just saying. Just saying. I know you're an Android user, but you never know. We got a new product.

I totally understand your reservation. I'm very, very good friends with him. I know he wouldn't take advantage of it. Roger that. And my bill's so little, I would notice if there was a big bump in that. I kind of wish I had an insurance salesman friend now.

Now I really want a doctor friend or a dermatologist friend. Not just a doctor friend. I want a specialty friend. Like a dentist or a dermatologist or somebody when you do have that weird thing later down the line in life i can just be like dude will you please just take a quick peek at my teeth tell me how

much how much shit i'm in right now or like hey i got this thing on my elbow what's happening what's going on let me know that that seems like the best kind of doctor to be after i looked up their salaries dermatologists they make a fuck ton of money. I had no idea. You know what? I didn't know that that was one of the hardest, the two hardest doctors to become like the most exclusive are deter. Well,

if there's three, it's neurology, dermatologist and plastic surgeon. I would not have guessed dermatologist. I thought they were kind of pimple poppers. I thought most of their customers were teenagers. And maybe guys like my age where the skin cancer starts to pop out. Like, oh, were you a lifeguard at 19?

We're going to get to know each other. But yeah, it turns out dermatologists are one of the most exclusive kinds of doctors. Who knew? I didn't know that. I know they make a ton so i guess it makes sense neuron plastic surgeon makes sense because that's one of those doctors where i feel like people are going to shop around more and so if you're going to get like it's almost like a self-fulfilling thing like people shop around more as long as you have

your good ratings on your fucking plastic surgeon yelp thing you're going to get more people and like there's always a guy in every region where it's like oh that's doctor whatever the fuck he's the boob guy for this whole area here you want you can go to these other guys but he's the man this is the liposuction guy like that makes sense fret i just um i'm processing i was about to say they need the best like technique handeye coordination practice. To do those plastic surgery stitches, I don't know if you've ever seen them. Hope had them on her forehead when she was three or something.

But they're tiny and they're perfect and they're machine done almost. It's crazy. And you know they can cut the skin off a grape and put it back and insanity yeah maybe ER that's not what you get like it's butcher shit the ER is like well there's five kids who just stepped on a nail and we got to get you the fuck out here I don't really care I don't really care if you have a scar so I that but as I think about it like there's probably a lot of

surgery disciplines, like the, is it called a vascular surgeon? The ones who operate on veins themselves, neurosurgery, like lots of people work with tiny things. So, not just them. Kyle's release date went public, but it's not set in stone. I guess I'll just say it since thousands of people,

it's October 3rd. That should be kind of cool. He'll be back in no time at all. Is he getting out early? A little. So is that seven? I think that's seven weeks instead of eight weeks. So he's really,

really like, cause this is the fifth PKN we've done without him I think man time flies when you're not the one in jail let's put that on a pillow Chis has been doing such a good job getting guests yes people are noticing that is it this week or next week where he's got the hustle he's got to fix up that's this week that's this we had this is this week he's got a mess with it because I'm not gonna be back in town until Thursday basically which sucks but that that's kind of life yeah so yeah I I don't know I came out it she's and i talked about

yeah i guess she's brought me up to speed on kyle i should say and um i nothing new it's weird like i want to give a new kyle update tell a kyle story like like there aren't kyle things there's no stories to tell about sitting in prison watching television waiting for nothing days to pass so so boring i have a question yeah go ahead have you bought a streaming pc yet not yet i actually have uh a friend of mine was over last night we were chit-chatting for a while and he's really into pcs and stuff and so he looped me in with another buddy of his who is very loud with PCs. So they've been, we've been a nice little group chat today, texting and

I'm fact finding learning things. And I'm finding out that the more questions they ask, the more I'm like, just whatever's easiest, whatever the easiest one is, I would like to assemble PCs to arrive in a box. Why should there be questions after that? I would like it assembled PC to arrive in a box. Why should there be questions after that? I would like it to show up ready. I would like to plug it into the outlet and sit here and go, Hey guys,

I don't know how to do WASD. Tune in for my fucking stream. But yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to see what their suggestion is. So we're live streaming Minesweeper. Yeah, we're live streaming Minesweeper again. I'm playing

checkers against some old bitty in fucking Maine. That's what I'm doing. I like that idea. That'd actually be pretty fun. Play checkers and get on there. But I don't think they have audio. But yeah, I'm going to take what their suggestions are from the pcbuilder.com, parkspicker.com, whatever it is, and then get Chiz's input and then kind of compare those and see what I think.

So you're going to build a PC? I think I have to, to do this. I don't want to, but I just want to do the gaming part. I know some people are super into like, oh, I got lights in my pc and i got this kind of mouse and i got this kind of thing it's like that would be like someone who never works out buying the tippity top rogue fitness stuff and being like look at this i got a an olympic tier sled and a high whip a bar that i let sit in my basement like i don't think I'm going to fully take advantage of the power

it would have, especially because for so long I've been using a fucking laptop. I'm not used to a powerful machine. Yeah. I am looking forward to the actual streaming of it because I know if you and I are doing it, Kyle

guaranteed he's going to hop on to and stream, though he might just he's going to hop on too. He might not stream, though. He might just join our stream. Oh, that's fine. I don't care. I know Kyle's talked about streaming. I don't know if he really wants to because it's been months and he hasn't.

And when people watch your gameplay, suddenly people have an opinion on your gameplay. And then when the camera's on you, your responsibility to be entertaining is so much more than it is me just playing next to you that's true it might not be something he wants we'll see maybe i'll uh i'll start it up and i absolutely suck at it and then but i'll still write it off on my taxes that would actually be appropriate, I think. Yeah, definitely. This is CyberPowerPC. Don't think that's where I went, but I can't find the one I went.

Maybe it was Northbridge or something. But it wouldn't be crazy for me if you were like, hey, Chiz, configure one. And it's going to be so similar. It's going to be right next to the bullseye on what you need, but you won't have to build it. And it'll come like professionally built. All your wire management will be ideal and it'll have the graphics card and the mother. This is what I want then. Just get just streamline it.

I don't want to be plugging shit in. Like, yeah, I can. How lazy am I? Help me choose a configuration, and then they'll get it to you in two weeks or something, and you'll have a... These are less expensive than I... Or I guess this is just the tower, and then you got to buy your monitor.

You probably need two monitors if you're going to do Twitch streaming, right? Because you have to have the chat up as well. Yeah, yeah. Because the game itself will be consuming a whole monitor and then you'll want the chat next to it and stuff. This is a good website.

Maybe someone out there has an idea other than CyberPowerPC or maybe an opinion on CyberPowerPC. Like, yeah, they're a good one. But my observation was you don't save very much by building it yourself. If there's a $250 premium, you might find that's worth it

to have it professionally assembled. Yeah, definitely. Because I would fuck something up. This GamerDragon, that's $735? A terabyte hard drive. They had lots of words I don't recognize with large numbers

and then X or K by it for eight, eight GB video. Well, I need that. But on this one I can get 11 GB. Yeah, I, I, I don't keep on top of PC parts, like the guy that I want to configure your system for you. But yeah, send them here. Send them here. Pick one out, or you could even do a budget, like get me the best one that $2,800 can buy, and then just let them fill in the blanks.

That's probably what I'll do. Except not with $2,800. I don't know what that number I just I don't have arrived at 2800 but something like that well yeah when's the last time you updated your setup less than two years more than one something like that do you do it like piecemeal where you'll be like okay this this graphics card is getting shitty and I pop that out put the new one in the answer is every time I'll say I'll do that and I never have ever you like I want a motherboard that will grow with me and then like I scrap all. That's what I've done 100% of the time so far.

Usually by the time, like, I want to update my graphics card, for example. It's like the whole thing is long in the tooth. And I do more than just gaming, right? I do the show, right? So it's not uncommon for me to be like encoding the show, playing a game, recording with a hard drive, or playing video, all at the same time. And that means I need CPU and GPU and I just... Yeah, I know all those letters.

One thing... Computer processing unit and gum-puter processing unit. Central and graphics, but the other two are good. Oh, I don't know. Oh, and a little more nerd talk. I switched to error-correcting code memory, and I feel like it's really made a difference. Or maybe it's just server quality parts in general.

What does that mean, error-correcting? Everything that my memory does, hopefully I have this right, it kind of double-checks it like a checksum or an expected answer. So if there's errors, it fixes it instead of just rolling with the punches. And that means I get no crashes. Like, it hasn't happened in years. And

it just seems to work better. My last computer, I don't know how many shows we actually had trouble with. It might have just been one or two, but it was like, this thing's got to be so reliable. It's not on my list of concerns.

And that's where I got to. Yeah. It wasn't that many shows that got like fucked with. It was just like the anxiety of every time being like, Oh, we just had a really fun 10 minutes, really entertaining little segment there. Something goes wrong. It's gone forever. And we're're gonna have to do that thing where we pretend we didn't just

talk about this that's the worst um that is the worst to be like hey you want to talk about epstein again well no no i don't but let's act like it's all fresh let's act like you know No, but let's act like it's all fresh. Let's act like, you know, this MMA fight is fresh. Have you followed this Kavanaugh stuff lately? Like, have you... Mm-mm. So here's the new accusation.

He's back in there. My wife and I are on opposite sides of this debate. And I'll buy it for a second. Okay. Let's hypothetically exist in the world where he's guilty of this new charge, right? Let's pretend that it's true. The new charge is this.

He's at a party. He's young, either high school or college, but just a long time ago. The guy's like my age or more. And what he did is a girl wasn't looking. He walked up, put his junk in her hand, touched her hand with his junk, something in that spectrum.

Oh, I did see a couple. I did read about a couple headlines and then like the friend there denies even knowing about this i and there's no memory of it so i got this from fox and i haven't had like confirmation yet but apparently a third party saw it she can't be interviewed but her friend said that she said that she doesn't remember it but let's live in this hokey world of it true is it even disqualifying like is touching a girl's hand with your dick look it's impolite it's even like the most mild version of sexual assault like like you know like it and i don't know what you're thinking i guess he's drunk or like but i'm just like wait a minute so you're telling me that 40 years ago he touched a girl's

dick with his hand who wasn't looking that just means he used to be an asshole yeah it just yeah he probably was an asshole because young guys tend to be assholes but i don't believe that like they'd railroaded him so hard for shit that had literally no evidence that woman herself was like the the blazy ford way back in the day was like way back in the day i say that because news stories are so staccato no but like even she was like i only remember this uh the parts that are unfalsifiable no i have no memory of anything that could be used against me and it's like yeah i don't believe you you even came out after the fact and said that you were motivated by fear of losing roe v wade and that's part of the reason she came out her own father her own father was like yeah not a chance and it's like first of all dude don't do that to

your daughter even if she is like you know come on you gotta take family overall but yeah i don't i don't believe that for a second he seems seems like a fucking neoconservative guy I would not want to hang out with and wouldn't like. And he probably loves war more than the rest of them. But I don't buy it. The happen didn't happen of almost any 40-year-old rape case. I made that number up, 30. I don't know.

It's hard for me to come to any conclusion. I need more evidence before I say it happened or didn't. Especially when the timing is so suspect where it's like, oh, right now is a thing. And you also have taken courses in teaching people how to beat lie detector machines. It's over the top ridiculous. I just don't want to have an opinion on whether it happened or didn't because there's no evidence. I do have an opinion on. I don't feel like he should.

If there's no evidence, we can't just go by her word. So and they didn't. So that's that. But let's say that this literally happened on video. Did he touch someone's hand with his dick? That's just creepy and not disqualifying that was a long time ago that's not who he is now very inappropriate but also i am on your on your side with that like it's it's like the faux outrage like i rp i haven't

even watched it yet i need to watch it before this upcoming show bill burr's special are people giving him shit about that because I actually have only seen people giving Chappelle shit about his special, which was funny. I have a thing about that. So I'm like the token blue guy on PKA. Okay, whatever. I'll accept the role. I haven't seen anyone give Chappelle

shit, but I've seen dozens of sources talk about these fucking snowflakes giving Chappelle shit. And i'm like look i saw it it was funny stop telling me that i didn't like it stop telling me that i'm too much of a snowflake to get a good chapelle joke oh you're it was funny you're not an sjw type person no okay but compared to the rest of the cast sometimes that's the you know i'm the cuck of the crew and um i'm just like stop painting with such a broad brush

you assholes like it's funny i saw it it was good it was funny and it seemed pretty split even on like i follow just by the nature of media i follow more people on the left i do on the right like for news sources and stuff and it was like the uber hyper progressive people seem to be the ones who are like dave chappelle once again punching down not cool really inappropriate and you can go to the reviews on his rotten tomatoes and it's like audience score a hundred percent critic score 17 where they're like true yeah it's such a huge chasm because they're fucking tone-deaf idiots who live in their own little myopic bubbles on the coasts and they think everybody's as easily offended as they are.

Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. I'm going to need you to use smaller words. Don't fuck. But like normal people on the left and right were like, yeah, are you retarded? Do you not remember the Dave to the Chappelle show? The Chappelle show makes this special look like veggie tales. The Chappelle show was so much more offensive than this. And you guys who clearly

at this point you've just revealed as a critic that you never actually watched his show because you're saying things like, and I literally saw this from a reviewer. It was either on the Rotten Tomatoes or on their Twitter where they're like, you know, this is reminiscent this isn't at all reminiscent of the cutting social commentary and whatever we used to get on the chappelle show and it's like he played a kkk guy who was black and blind and then he like that was the kind of show it was it was over the top silly and ridiculous they had the uh what was the player haters ball and all that stuff it was it was super super funny he played a black president too right like i remember i'm sure he did yeah and he played like white white face guys and it was it was a really funny show but these fucking are ripping on him now

and trying to salvage their their opinion by doing that thing where it's like well his old stuff was good it's like liar you're a liar because his old stuff is 10 times more offensive. Admit you don't know anything about him and you're just getting jollies off. I haven't seen the people that you saw and I'm just like, he's uncancellable. No one's trying to cancel him. No one.

That's my little slice of the universe. It was more like the shitty progressive rags like Vox, Salon, BuzzFeed like those ones who have their hot takes like Dave Chappelle maybe a white supremacist or maybe he's a comedian and he's trying to make people laugh maybe that Andrew Yang had a really good response to a comedian so I guess it and I might have the story slightly wrong but I think that a comedian was making fun of Andrew Yang and he's he's Asian I'm not positive he's Chinese but the comedian was playing him like he was

Chinese and he did this like like bucktooth kind of Chinese accent oh yeah brother and they asked Yang like what you thought of it and his answer was really cool like it he's like on one hand like sometimes that stuff can be hurtful to people and and yeah I don't like to see it get too mainstreamed on the other hand context is important and he's a comedian the comedians need a certain kind of freedom to practice their craft and I'm a public figure public figures need some thick skin because you know that's the nature of my position and I'm just like

yeah I like what he did there like you know let's not normalize meanness too much but hey this is a comedian talking about a public figure that's okay yeah that should be expected for public they have sad segments on cnn like making fun of trump's dick like literally they had that shit and then they'll be like we're here to preserve the integrity of german it's like a bunch of fucking losers yeah it would have been like the funniest thing yang could have done because i think i saw something about that is if he was like you know i would just love the opportunity to sit down with them over a beer and just do math with him he was at the Democratic debates and they were talking about health care and he's like I'm Asian so I

know a lot of doctors and it was just funny some people jumped on him about it but I'm like I jump on too much yeah give me give me a break he told a joke oh yeah I haven't watched any of those debates. They're all so boring. I haven't watched much of them. That was a clip. Yeah. I like the funny clips.

The only clip I've seen of that debate was Biden's teeth falling out. I'm not going to watch anything else because that's a high note. Anything else would leave a sour taste in my mouth after watching him go like, well, the thing about a flower. That didn't get any traction. I thought for sure that it would.

Twitter was deleting tweets of it. I don't know why it got no traction. Got no traction? Whatever, we'll run with it. And I thought it was going to be a big story. I thought CNN was going to cover it and Fox and what have you, and they were going to mock him. I thought it was going to derail him him but oh no but he's clearly the media

favorite the the fox news people aren't going hard at him for it because they're more afraid of the more progressive candidates and the uh like cnn msnbc types like they i literally saw it was either msnbc or cnn i think it was cnn like an article after that and all i was seeing on twitter like during our show was people being like fucking so-and-so's crushing it so-and-so's doing good biden looks like a fool out there what the fuck is going on and then like a huge tweet got ratioed by cnn where they're like hi i'm joe uh smith and 10 reasons why biden did exactly what he had to do tonight and absolutely achieved and everybody's like what the fuck what no he didn't his teeth

fell out and he looks like an asshole compared to bernie and warren who are dominating him apparently for those of us that aren't twitter people what is getting ratioed means like they had like four people retweeted their CNN tweet like a hundred people favorited it or liked it and then three thousand people commented going are you high what the hell is wrong so like the ratio of uh that it's almost like a dislike ratio yeah because a lot of people paid attention to it and very few liked it yeah so like if like if if elon musk like says something ridiculous and he gets only you know and he gets more replies than he gets likes and retweets combined people be like oh ratio ratio i i have nothing against elon musk i just don't i just picked a famous guy who's known to i wish i didn't know that

funny for all i know i've been getting ratioed a lot and never gave a fuck. Now I'm a little sadder. Whatever. I thought I just had really good interactions. Yeah, I thought all interaction was positive. Yeah, I thought all attention is good attention. You know, that's not. He is conked out on my lap right now. Is he?

Can you point the camera at him or is that hard to manage? No, because it's just my webcam. As I was leaning it down, it would just become a closed computer. Is that what you use on the show? Just like the webcam of a laptop? That'll be nice to get a nicer camera. camera yeah I don't know what to get I haven't looked at him for a while I got a good suggestion from somebody on reddit and someone from that group chat I'm in now so I think I'm think I'm

gonna be so you know what it was I don't remember I remember it was like $70 70 75 bucks okay I'm like I want but I used two one for you and one for the recording and the one i used for you was like clearly the one to get in like 2015 and the one for the recording i thought was the one to get in like 2017 so i'm not bad no you're very good but yes, I don't know. I wonder what the standard is. I could go on and on. Jericho uses like a $1,000 cam, which is great. Yeah, well, it looks great. But then he encodes it and puts it in like a square inch box,

and I'm like, did I do that? Maybe? It seems like too much. Too much effort for not enough payoff. But he's got a lot of people watching him, so who knows? He knows what he's doing. Yeah, yeah. Call it a wrap?

Yeah. PKN 265.