Painkiller Already - PKN #293

Episode Date: April 10, 2020

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PKN 293. How's your quarantine going, boys? I had to go to the hospital. To the reality of no hair. What? Go ahead. Not for him. It was a fucking war zone.

Tell me more. Kitty's medications. I guess the pharmacy that she uses. I had to go to a hospital to pick these things up. She's got like all sorts of prescriptions. And I don't know why I had to go to a hospital, but I did. She made that clear. She was like, it's this place. I'd never been there before. I didn't know why i had to go to a hospital but i did she made that clear she's like it's this place i'd never been there before i didn't know what it was it was some sort of kaiser

permanente hospital anyway i pull into the parking lot of this place and i realized i should have brought a mask i should have brought a gown i got some goggles hazmat gloves from breaking bad I got some goggles. Hazmat suits for breaking bad. Maybe. That would help. Everybody else is like fully equipped. And I find parking.

I'm in flip flops. I literally am. Hopefully you burned those when you got home. I go to walk into this place. You can't just walk in. A nurse in like goggles and a mask goes, hi, how can I help you? I'm like, go into the pharmacy inside. She's like, do you have your Kaiser Permanente number? I'm like,

whatever. She's like, have you been anywhere near any COVID-19 patients? Have you been exposed? I'm like, no, I've been locked down for like a month now. I'm not happy to be here. She's like, me either. You know what would have been funny is if you were like, no, I've been locked down for six months. Just in case. She's like, follow the yellow brick road inside. And another person picks me up and he's like follow the follow the yellow brick road into the in inside and another person picks me up and he's like you have your number and i give him the number and he's like all right

stay on the tape and it's just like i'm on the tape and there's somebody in the front of in front of me on tape and there's somebody behind me on tape you know to make sure we're six feet away from one another everybody has a mask but me everybody has a mask but me oh that'll work you got a bane respirator what's your number oh i bet you'd like to know taylor's idea is to touch his mouth nose and eyes at the same time it's like i'm back sick you know why i get in this room and there's literally 10 pharmacists filling prescriptions and uh it was really quick and everything i didn't

have to touch much i had to touch the bag that they gave me full of pills and and inhalers and and then uh when i paid for it i had to like press a button and I use my knuckle. And then the whole way home looking at that knuckle like you've got it, don't you? You got the corona. You got the corona. I'm just I'm just like, What else could you have used? Maybe your elbow?

Like, I don't know what's there was sticking out the window and hope it blows away. Your foot, the toe of your shoe my tongue I thought about using my tongue because that would be safe I'm not sure that's how that works so I got I finally I took her pills got home and I immediately scrubbed down I took everything out of my pockets that I touched my keys, my phone, and I scrubbed it down with alcohol. And then I bathed very, very well. And then I was still just like, is it on me? Is it in me? You sound totally fine today, but it was just a couple of days ago in our group chat, you were like, well, I woke up coughing and sneezing and a little bit of wheezing. And I was like, oh shit,

Kyle's got the Rona. and now you you sound totally fine yeah it's definitely allergies like like adam because i hadn't been outside in so long that like i had gone outside and like walked around and uh just seen the world and you know my car was yellow from the pollen that i had i didn't know had even been a thing i think it was just not only did you not go outside you didn't even chance a glance outside no i hadn't like i don't even look outside like all my windows are shuttered up i could i could tell you how long i've been um quarantining but i need to open tarkov to see the data i installed it it's something like 47 days ago i started quarantining been a while been a while you guys like 47 days ago i started quarantining been a while been a while you guys you guys were first adopters early adopters yeah early yeah as soon as it was like quarantine as soon as they adopted it

i was molded by the quarantine as soon as the government was like you know it might be good to minimize outside contact you guys are like i'm not one to break the rules looks like it's postmates and delivery for me we're all getting it i keep looking this up because kyle said i was crazy and i don't know if i'm crazy well i don't know if this is one of the indicators that i'm crazy and uh i i keep finding uh my confirmation bias that i'm seeking that they said it would take 200 cases in america 200 or to virtually guarantee that it's going to spread and that we'll have an annual cold flu and covid 19 season and then it will take something like 12 to 18 months to come up with a vaccine for it. And

let's be part of the annual flu shot in the same way that I think SARS is now. So you figure 300 to 400,000 of us are going to die. I don't know if that's the number I'm hearing 88,000, but yeah. And what is the flu number? 30,000? Something like that? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

So this will become the new normal for a year or two. Well, that's not going to happen, so don't worry. How do you know? Because it's absurd. How do you know? Oh, it's absurd, virologist Kyle. It's absurd. You're like, yeah, everybody gets it.

Just like last flu and the flu before that. And I'm just like, well, I've never gotten any of those flus. I don't know anyone who's ever gotten one of those flus. Oh, no, we all get them. I've had the rhino flu and the pig flu and the bird flu. No, no, no, no. SARS is the only one that was not deadly enough to keep spreading like that. Is SARS and H1N1 the same thing?

I don't know my flus that well, but I've been reading about this. Are they? I forget the other name for SARS. But yeah, apparently. Is apparently your acute respiratory syndrome is that just that's the sars is like an umbrella right and like this is technically a version of sars these are statistics not facts taylor i only know enough to get it wrong so there's just no way that we're all going to get it but this is all based on your intuition. Well, this is all based on common sense, frankly. Okay, tell me more.

Well, there's going to be a vaccine within a year, year and a half, and there are pharmaceutical treatments that seem to be very promising right now for stomping it out. And also, everyone's quarantining, so I'm not going to come into contact with anybody who has it. I'm not going to get it. You're probably not going to into contact with anybody who has it. I'm not going to get it. You're probably not gonna get it. You might get it.

I hope you get it. No, I- I probably will get it, ironically. But we, like you're saying everybody's quarantined. No, they are not. No, that's not true at all. People are not taking this- Oh no, I don't mean everybody.

I mean me. Oh yeah, yeah, you are. You're not gonna get it most likely. Like you're even shutting down delivery and stuff to be extra safe at this point yeah i'm cooking right yeah and so you're going to be fine i'll probably get it what do you probably be fine like were you just talking about everybody in america getting it because everybody doesn't need to get it yeah there's just something like a percentage more than 90 something more than 90 percent of nearly 8 billion people are going to get it. Well, I don't know.

Once you get into like Africa and such, I don't know. How densely populated are they? There are people in Brazil that... But of all these populated places, you know, the mainstream China, South Korea, America, etc. Yeah, it will go through the population and much like the flu, apparently, these, I forget what it is, single RNA strains of these viruses,

it looks like people have a hard time developing immunities to it. You know, in the same way that you get the flu or the cold every year possibly, you could get this every year and it's not super deadly, but it's super transmittable and it will be normal yeah i mean i know i could see it being a new seasonal flu but i don't think everybody in the and there's no way to know when everybody's going to get it india is self-reporting

2 000 cases and three deaths. Seriously? India? I mean, let's look at California. China probably has millions right now. And we don't know. You can probably quadruple, septuple the number of people we have in our country that we've confirmed with it to get the real number. 40 million people in California, right? Okay. The Chinese New Year just happened, whatever, the Lunar New Year, whatever, 3 billion trips occurred during that,

during the Chinese Lunar celebration or whatever, 3 billion trips that the Chinese make. There's a huge influx into China from America and then back into San Francisco and Los Angeles. And yet, out of the 40 million Californians, the number is incredibly low, incredibly low. That's true. But a lot of people are walking around out there who have no idea and are just transmitting it. And people who got it as the flu a while back and thought it was the flu and then just kept going about their daily lives. Some people get in and didn't know they have it. Like I keep seeing these professional athletes who were like, I was COVID-19 and I was going to play that night. I was fine. I didn't. I had no idea I was symptomatic. A lot of the people that we see that

test positive because they're rich and famous had no symptoms. Tom Hanks was fine. That guy from the Utah Jazz. Something like half of the Utah Jazz tested positive. It was outrageous. They were all fine. Yeah. If you're an athlete, you're probably going to be okay. And it seems like you're going gonna be okay and it seems like you're gonna be mostly what I see them like with trucks full of bodies in New York I don't know have you seen the trucks full of bodies and you haven't is that a real thing I don't know yeah it's truck yeah well it's because like cities

don't prepare to have to cremate thousands of people like all at once you know it's a business idea this has to be a way to profit off this pay you bring them we burn them. You guys have seen my vlogs with the boxes out back. I could start a little crematorium in the fire pit. Yeah, but it's not like cremating rolls of paper towels. You can't just light a body on fire and be like, Well, I'll be gone in the morning.

I got a fire pit. I got a flamethrower and I got wood. Just saying. I could do that that i finally learned anything from david smelling back then you're gonna have just like it's gonna smell like a pork barbecue back there and just have a bunch of femur bones wondering what to do with them you know she'll complain until she hears that we charge 2500 a cremation like let's put an apple in his mouth just for the aesthetic you know that makes me feel less bad about what we're doing.

When I heard that they were charging something like $1,500 a night to house the people who crossed the border from Mexico. I say thousand, I meant a hundred. Anyway, $1,500 a night. I was like, dude, we should take some in. Like, we've got some extra rooms. We've got the guest house. I could make like another $4,500 a night just put three Mexicans in the guest house in your I've seen your guest house it's fine you're gonna be the one living in the guest house

when they storm the patio it's a massive upgrade over the cages they were being stored in. Please, let me just stay here. I apologize, Trump supporters, to the kennels they were being stored in prior to my guest's death. Kennels that have been there for decades. Yeah, yeah. And if we can bring in $4,500 a day, shucks. House them. Bring them in. That's how I feel about

cremation services. You want an illegal immigrant, no, a troop of them, to come and live in your home and just be like, yeah, this is tight. Hey, what do you hope? Stay inside. I swear to God. If you dance found a very lucrative thing here, as far as they know, as far as Paco Pablo and Antonio know, this is just my house. They've got a piñata.

I'm going to hang out with them. No! Colin, no one's using the other bunk bed. Quit your bitching. Well, I want the bottom. You feed them like raccoons where you just go and you take the Taco Bell out and then they scurry slowly out. This is a money-making idea, and I don't see why you guys are pushing back.

You know what? Genius. It's content. You guys, it's day five. Yeah, yeah. We'll see. We'll see. I keep looking this up.

Like, you know, what's the end game in COVID here? And I think the end game is, you know, we just get a little less susceptible to it the second time around. That's how it goes. Not completely immune. Like, I don't know what separates COVID-19 from, like, chicken pox, where you get it once and you're really kind of good for life. But apparently they're different, and COVID-19 is just something that's not so bad the next time around. Yeah. Well, hopefully none of us get it, and it peters out faster than you think. apparently they're different and COVID-19 is something that's not so bad the next time around. Yeah. Well, hopefully none of us get it and it peters out faster than you think. But like,

I hear you. I don't think that's even... Look, I hate to spread misinformation. I hate people who do, but I keep finding my confirmation bias confirmed. And I think the hope is that we all get it lightly, that we get it. Yeah. It's not a, you know, we're one of those people that don't really super suffer from it. And next time around it's nothing. Under God King Trump, I fully expect not to get it. Under what? God King Trump. God King Trump.

Yeah. He's got this thing on lockdown. I mean, like, not really though. He's encouraging lockdown, but it's like what is it constitutionally you can't just be like everybody stay in your homes you know like i think you should all come out by easter because that date is beautiful that was an aspiration woody an aspiration okay he was just saying shit he thinks 15 minutes ahead you know he will lie knowing that that lie gets exposed tomorrow because it helps him right now. I think he said it because his chief concern was the market and he was trying to make it.

Like if he would have said everybody's staying until June 1st, like initially, like three weeks ago, people would have had it would have been a total meltdown. But he like picked a date that seemed realistic for people who didn't fully understand how important this was and now he's gonna pick another date and then he's gonna pick another one and i'm if i had to place a wager on when it's like a all right quarantine's kind of over everybody come come back out i'm gonna say i'm gonna say june 1st june 1st as long as there's no baseball this year i'll be happy there's no baseball this year, I'll be happy. As long as there's no baseball at all? None. What if they played for no crowds? That won't do it, right?

You want them to not play? I prefer they just didn't play. If no one else wins the pennant, then that's okay. Yeah, I'm okay with that. I mean, just into all sports, really. I mean, it looks like Khabib ran to Russia so that he wouldn't have to fight against the Bush man. Oh, how dare you? That is not what happened.

He fled to Russia. Let me explain what actually happened. What he's going to have to explain why his champion went and ran away to another country. Here's what happened. He'll have to. He was training in California. And California put a lockdown on him, which would prevent him from training. He called Dana White and said, what's the scoop here?

And hey, this is my story. I'll tell it the way I want to. And they said, you're going to be fighting in Abu Dhabi. This thing's not going to happen in America. The commissions are locking it down and stuff. You're going to Abu Dhabi where there apparently are no rules. He said, cool, I'll finish my training camp in Russia and we'll do that. Well, apparently everything fell apart from there, that they're not going to hold the fight out of country and he can do that. Well, apparently everything fell apart from there that they're not going to hold the fight out of country and he can get out of Russia, but he can't get into America. And that's his current status. Yeah. He ran away. He ran away to Russia. The problem had

nothing to do with how many people could be in a gathering because he was the only one, literally the only person who was being allowed to train at his gym because you know he's the world champion and he's super famous so he could have just stayed and trained but he ran away to his home country to his daddy's house he went to his daddy's house that's literally what he did you know what i hope doesn't happen you know he ran to his daddy's house that's not a man doesn't own a home. Where's he at? I hope that Tony Ferguson doesn't fight Gaethje get his ass knocked out and ruin this fight we've been looking forward to for no, that's not what's gonna happen. The only person is gonna

fight Gaethje gonna beat Gaethje gonna strip Khabib. Connor's gonna come in beat Tony. Khabib is gonna have and Khabib is gonna be like, Oh, no, well, let me fight him. And Conor's going to be like, nah, I don't think I will. And then they're going to strip Conor again. Or Khabib comes back and beats the fuck out of Conor like the paper champion he always has been. Conor put up the best fight that anyone has ever played against him. Oh, my God.

Conor tapped out. Khabib beat his ass. Everybody gets tapped out. could be beat his ass everybody gets tapped out i mean a loss is a loss but uh connor went around nobody else ever done that i can't believe you're so proud that connor won one round i can't believe that you dispute that you have a problem like giving him props for the fact that he's literally the only person who's ever won a round against the man he lost the other four rounds and in the fifth tapped out only person has nobody has nobody else really

ever won around against khabib literally has never won a round against okay well that's pretty impressive yeah it's like if mike tyson had knocked every single person out in the first round and then joe blow gets in there and gets the kicked out of him in round two people like oh joe blow over here looking promising as he's being stretchered off with an eye falling out of his socket. That is exactly what it's like, yes. It's in no way comparing them and saying it's,

if anything, it's almost a testament to how good Khabib is, it sounds. I accept your analysis. Yeah, this is expert analysis. Yeah, he's probably, he had to run back home to his dad. I'm a UFC centrist. He probably had to secretly funnel some home to his family so he's probably he probably had to fun like secretly funnel some money to one of his terrorist connections it's going to come

out that khabib is literally a terrorist we're going to see him in one of those isis videos and what he's going to be like well they're freedom fighters kyle they do their terror in pakistan khabib didn't blow up anything in the United States. That military base doesn't count. Now, the fact that Khabib used a sword there doesn't mean he needed it. He could have taken them out without the sword. We're going to see him in one of his videos cutting the people's throats, like one after another. He's going to be like, look at the technique.

Connor could not handle that saber that Khabibib has now you make sense that sounds the ira versus the chechens who's gonna win my money is on the chechens because there's probably more of them right i don't know well he's not chechen no i don't know what he is he wears a silly ass hat and he fights people in a ring and he played with the bear when he was little people really over overstate that he's gay they really overstate the bear training part of it. I didn't see it, yeah. He's wrestled a bear when he was three. Yeah, I don't know.

I played with rabbits. It didn't really determine who I grew up into. His wife is much more relevant. Yeah, like wrestle a bear when he's three. Yeah, but you made it sound like that was a full-grown bear. And that was a very little bear. like that was a full-grown bear I was a very little bear that's probably a full I haven't seen could be do anything to help up with the with the corona viruses and donating money as a name is time all I've seen him do is run run and hide he's just afraid of the cow virus yeah he's afraid of Tony Ferguson ferguson he's not he's terrible i'm sure i'm sure it could be still

for people wondering if kyle's telling the truth he's really not they were supposed to i mean i mean all you have to do is like look on the internet and you'll see oh yeah that's going to be my new favorite thing people like where are you getting that just look on the internet www.joe look into it how thoughts dot wordpress.com khabib is a coward everyone knows he's a coward he's fleeing from tony people are saying he's a coward very smart people are saying he's a coward beautiful i would love the look of like a 2001 kyle's blog website where like the cursor is still animated and it's really upsetting, you know inducing of

Then just come to me the man is literally a coward he's hiding in a foreign country from Tony Ferguson and The man is literally a coward. He's hiding in a foreign country from Tony Ferguson. And watch, he'll keep hiding until Ramadan comes. And then, oh, no, I can't eat for the next three months, so the fight won't be then. And then it'll end, and they'll be like, oh, well, I would need at least two more months of a training camp. And it'll be next February. And Woody will be like, no, don't strip him. He's a real champion.

Meanwhile, Connor takes a break. He's like, take it away. Take it away. He's an strip him. He's a real champion. Meanwhile, Connor takes a break. He's like, take it away. Take it away. He's an old man. He's Johnny's girlfriend. Connor went like years without defending his belt. He had to go fight the greatest boxer of all time. And Mayweather.

And then he fought Nick Diaz twice. And I think that's what the several years span was. What was I going to say? I think both of your guys lean slippery men of choice are both cute i am gonna reuse that phrase again i like it a lot um yeah i really do hope that kyle's future doesn't play out i hope that this thing doesn't get delayed into ramadan which is june does anyone know when that is? It sneaks up on me every time.

When do they stop blowing stuff up and take a break? No, they don't stop blowing things up in Ramadan. They double down. How do you know, my friend? I swear, if I don't get something to eat, I'm going to freak out. Yeah, if it does creep into Ramadan, then april 23rd starts april 23rd yeah maybe it changes every year i don't know says april to may yeah april 23rd to may 23rd yeah

see he's he's calculated this just right so that he can he can he can just be a coward and hide at his daddy's house which is where he is right now to be on a diet leading all the way up to an April 18th fight. Then have, what, five days to eat and then kick into your next diet? I mean, the only combat practice he's getting is beating his wife for looking at the sun. I mean, you should correct people when they look at the sun. I mean, she's not allowed outside. Oh, she's not allowed outside at all. No.

Well, not without a male to escort her. Make sure that pussy isn't getting loose out in the world and she's not being exposed to any Western culture. The big reason I'm against that is... You're trying to fuck his wife. It makes it difficult. We don't even know what she looks like. Yeah, she could be hot.

She could be a man under there, an absolute goblin goblin nobody knows i don't know what's under there imagine if you had to accompany no one knows what she looks like he keeps her under a towel i'm gonna look it up and see if i know the b-number normal and you're never never never oh there are pictures of her actually usually russian names are pretty easy to spell because they're fanatic you want to see what she Oh, there are pictures of her, actually. Gagalov. Usually Russian names are pretty easy to spell because they're fanatic. You want to see what she looks like? Yeah, I want to see.

Yeah. Any risque ankle shots? Maybe a knuckle pick? I'll try to. In a second, I'll share it with the who have. What is she doing? What's she doing sinning all over my screen like this right now? Does he know that we can see this oh she is i'm going to tweet at him does he have twitter this is him with russian tv presenter

olga buzova oh is he married to olga buzova yeah that i want to see unfortunately no i did all right now might be right here what is the game like this way that woman from a curb your enthusiasm oh look I was lying but out of us yeah if you google his wife this comes up in like the Google image search it fact check on the floor Kyle fact-check me let it be known no no that's not how I choose to remember this you've been I'm. I'm not afraid of the fact-checking police. Here is... Oh, I found a picture of her. I think...

Yeah, but... I want to see her with hair. Is it... Are you on Pinterest with your picture? There you go. He found one where she's covered in bed sheet. That's actually her. Yeah.

Did he actually comment that? Your wife is a towel in bed sheet. That's actually her. Did he actually comment that? Your wife is a towel mate. That's hilarious. I am a much bigger fan of Connor knowing that he's trolling on Twitter. That's great. Just being a dickhead. Just being me. You know what's funny? The fact that

Khabib is white, that outranks any of the Muslim thing. Like, if he were, like, a brown Muslim and he pulled that, fucking Connor would have got blasted by media people and everything. But they're like, oh, no, it's a white guy. It's some white guy who lives in Russia. Say whatever you want. Say

anything. You're good. Keep being funny, man. And look at his fucking... His hair's not doing him any favors. Khabib should go full bald. That'd be intense looking. If you Google Khabib Nurmagomedov's wife, that TV presenter pic shows up in half a dozen pictures. She's there

again and again. I mean, it might be her, or it might be you. You'll never know. There is one pic, oh, I didn't link it to you, that seems to be a different person than they say is his wife. The one on Pinterest? Yeah.

Yeah. There's something goofy going on with the pixels in the middle of this. I don't know. Yeah, I'm trying to show it to you. Here, this one. I just gotta hate that hat. You're right. It's like cut off at the neck or something it's like that doesn't that can't mean anything yeah i don't know i i think um he's kept her under wraps one might literally yeah i know it yeah literally

i'm just trying for that yeah, well, that's coming up. Well, what a good guy. In video gaming news, I haven't been out of the house for a while, and I was like, I really want to start maybe streaming some Call of Duty, trying to figure out how to play it again. And I've had this thing forever,

this little controller that plugs in. And I can see Kyle cringing right now, being like, you just just learn WASD maybe I will maybe I won't maybe I'll mix it up but I played a little bit today trying to figure it out and I played last weekend with my brother somebody brought his Xbox when he was staying here uh my other brother's in the hospital and we were playing that I played for a couple hours last weekend very not great at it frankly like i hadn't i think that was that might have been the first game of multiplayer cod i played since i very briefly played a little bit of cod

4 remastered like three years ago whenever that came out and before that it was fucking nothing for years so the last eight years you have like 15 hours i am frustratingly bad at at call of duty now because i remember being like i was never that great but i was good enough that i was serviceable on a team where it was like okay taylor's not going to go tremendously negative or anything he'll probably get a couple kill streaks or two he always you know after getting berated by wings i tended to play the objective you know i stuck on that for a while but But now I'm just overshooting and

having to do that like an idiot. I'm reinvesting. And I wanted to start with Warzone because Warzone looks so much fun. But everybody was saying and Chiz were like just don't do that. Don't jump into a Battle Royale game and so i'm going

to be playing like free-for-alls and tdms and dominations for a while so i can get more like i want to do a little target practice this weekend so i joined the marines yeah see that's the way and you guys convinced me you know you don't oversell i'm not playing warzone for at least like a week or so until i feel like i kind of get it. My advice has been consistent. Learn WASD. Start with AI. Go stream. Doom Eternal. I'm going to download that overnight. That sounds like fun. I like that idea. Doom Eternal requires quite a few controls. WASD is there, but you also use, you know, you use all the keys. You use a lot of keys. There's a lot of combinations, you know, your Q and shift and V. There's a lot of stuff going R. You know, you're using a lot of keys there's a lot of combinations you know your your q and shift and v there's a lot of stuff going r you know here's a lot of keys the mouse is doing a few few different

things two or three different things you can watch me play a little bit after we do this i'll show you just how insane it is i'll i can stream on discord so you can watch it's crazy town it's crazy to that game kyle's playing on the hardest difficulty because kyle is uh yeah you know he's an expert competent. Competent with WASD. You can turn it down to easy mode. Dude, stream Doom Eternal. That'll have you coming out capable of moving

and aiming and shooting. And then, when you think you're good, you'll start playing as other humans and learn otherwise. That was the path that I followed. Do you download it from Battle.net? Is that one of those? It's Steam. You need a Bethesda.net account technically, but all you have to do is open the game,

then go to Steam, and then go to offline mode, and then open the game again, and you're fine. If you don't want to actually create your Bethesda.net account. But I have one, and I'm always signed in. There's cool parts of it where it's like Mario Brothers, like Dungeons, where it has those spinning fireball arms. And you've got to jump through the arms onto walls. It's like a platformer.

You're jumping through obstacles to get to where you're going because you have a double jump and you have like a, I don't know what to call it. It's like a boost. Yeah, that's what you call it. You have double jump and boost. And when you combine double jump and boost, you can really traverse crazy distances.

And there are like bars that give you an extra like swing. So you end up flying through the air a lot to get to weird, hard to reach areas. I'm going through for my second playthrough right now and getting like every single hidden item and every single like secret. When did you beat it? Oh, I beat it like three days after I bought it.

Yeah. Yeah. He had beaten it on our last show. He had just beaten it on our last show. Oh, okay. Yeah. It took me about three days to beat it. Yeah, that's cool that you're doing this.

I can see on Discord that you were playing it, but sometimes that's unreliable, you know? Yeah, I do cool that you're doing this. I can see on Discord that you were playing it, but sometimes that's unreliable. Yeah, I do leave it open some, but I've been playing a good bit. I play several hours a day probably. I'm just replaying the old missions and making it harder on myself and getting all the secrets

because there's weird secrets that I didn't have before. And when you go back and play Mission 1, if you do it on the same save, you get to bring all the stuff that you've acquired. So now Mission 1 is just like big boys do what they want. That's a great reference. Good callback, yeah.

Oh, that's cool. I'm glad that you like it. I consider, I think Kyle's proving me wrong, but I sometimes look at games like Doom and Borderlands as another example. It's expensive per hour. Like I played through Borderlands, and if people don't know, you play Borderlands and you do the same thing again,

but at a harder difficulty, sort of. I did that and then I was done with it. It's just expensive per hour compared to something like cod or tarkov where oh my goodness you get a lot of hours out of that yeah yeah that's absolutely true um it's still probably a little more expensive for i haven't i haven't played the multiplayer yet doom does have multiplayer where uh one person plays as the doom slayer the doom guy and then you've got, I think, two players playing as demons along with a bunch of AI demons. And in the future, they're going to have this invasion mode

where some poor asshole is just going to be playing through his campaign and they're going to let you jump into his campaign as a demon and start fucking with him. So that'll be fun. Dark Souls has that. Have you ever seen the Dark Souls videos where Wings is playing through Dark Souls and he's just like, go ahead, invade, bring it,

bitches! And then some people who are actually good at Dark Souls come in and just start pushing his shit in and he just pulls the cord out of the wall. No, I haven't seen that. I think Wings is good at dark souls isn't he he thinks he is hmm i yeah i think he's good at dark he's better dark souls than us because we've never played my yeah it's easy though my impression is that in a lot of games wings is

like a top five or ten percenter but his self-analysis is that he's a top one percenter and that yeah that he can go to a stream of a thousand people and say bring the noise and not not not have anyone better than him yeah and that's not the case we're all top five percent guys i feel like we were we were all top five percent or whatever cold duty and that you know it's not even hard to do you're playing all the time you're playing essentially for a living you should be top five top four percent whatever but but but i never disillusioned myself to the point where i wasn't aware that like oh there's guys who are top one percent you remember when he said one he was gonna beat a bunch of top players it was like i forget who it was but they were good players um who was the guy fisticuffs might have been one of them uh he said that he and his friends were gonna whoop up on

these guys and then he backed out of it and he got so much heat i took as a friend i took his spot and i was like i'll play him bring it and. But I teamed up with a bunch of Optic guys and they actually won one of the matches. We won two out of three. We, like I was, you know. Team Gamertag. Yeah, Team Gamertag won. But the Optic guys, I would argue, won 4v5

and I was also there. They won a game by abusing a certain tactic. Like they put tech inserts in a particular spot in domination, and even though the Optic guys were getting lots of kills, they just couldn't push map control when the other team kept respawning in a really advantageous place. Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah. He always has this bizarre notion of just how good he is. It's ridiculous. Like, I think I'm good at Doom. I've watched the Doom videos. I've seen the people who are incredible at Doom. It's fun to watch, and I know I can't do that. I mean, maybe if I devoted my life to it, I could get close.

But that's the thing. He'd be like, like, he would never give you that. Like, what i just said was if i devoted my life to it i could get close to that no no no he would be like well if i tried i'd be the best champion i am currently the best i am standing champion like like yeah 99.9999% of people have never been the best at anything. No. At all.

Almost no one has ever been the best at anything. Almost no one has. You know what? You're the best at being you. I was trying to think of something aside from that that I've ever been the best at. And I'm coming up empty. Yeah. That's about it.

Almost none of us will ever, almost no one will ever be the best at anything i never won an olympic gold medal in swimming i was never the best cod player i was never the most viewed youtuber like all the things that i did that i was you know substantially even a gold medal doesn't mean you're the best frankly because like some of those guys that they'll win a medal and and and you could be like you know that's the year russia wasn't allowed to compete right yeah sometimes okay you know the us boycotted that year right sergey yeah you see how igor sir could she have won the one before and then the five after yeah yeah the can row he arrived at the olymp Olympics by rowboat.

What did you think? It's a Russian psyop. He doesn't know other mediums of transportation exist. They lead him to the boat with blinders on like a horse. They show him pictures of his family that he thinks are still alive. That he thinks are still alive. It's an impossible thing. You know, there's a lot of us.

If we lived in one of those little communities back in the olden times, there's like 40 of us. Yeah. Fucking Olaf is the best. He's the fastest man in the village. That's where Wings came from, right? Wings legitimately was the best in the PS that's where Wings came from right Wings legitimately was the best in the ps2 world right the best in his whole school before online play

and that I'll give you yeah it's very gracious of you and then you know then he went to YouTube and he was like one of the better youtubers in and he played so much he was one of the first to get 10th prestige, you know, I think in the leaderboards. And it was like, yeah, yeah, but being the best on YouTube doesn't mean you're the best period. Yeah, especially not now where there's so many people

who have gravitated toward YouTube, you know. It's like whenever I get into any particular game and I start looking for the people who are really good at it, you discover these people who are just like, oh my God. Yeah. Like there's a lot of people who just like have no personality or they're just fucking weirdos that can't stream or can't make videos or whatever.

And you'll see those people play and you're like, oh my fucking God, this guy's super autistic. He's incredible. Do you know Quatro Ace? I'm familiar with the name. I'm sure I've seen his videos. So Quatro Ace is a'm familiar with the name. I'm sure I've seen his videos. So Quatro Ace is a Tarkov player. And

for people who don't play Tarkov, it's very important to be strategic and to move carefully. I want to have my red dot aimed on where your head's going to be and the second you peek me, I poke at it, you die. Like, that's how you play. If I just rush into your line of sight, I'm going to die. Unless I'm Quatro Ace,

who somehow manages to run and gun like it's Call of Duty, raping fucking everybody. He's Russian. He doesn't. The only English he knows is GG. So he just runs around. GG. GG. Just GG after GG.

At least he's polite. Get it again. You know, and he's like, yo, M GG after GG. At least he's polite. Yeah. Get it again. You know, and he's like, yo, M4. GG. As he just takes things. And he's so good. People like him were the inspiration for my channel. I can't watch him and learn to play.

What he's doing only works for, like, those one percenters, you know? The way that Floyd Mayweather fought, I think it's him. Anyway, Chuck Liddell fought. Let's do him. I know him. They say don't fight like Chuck Liddell. Oh my God.

Don't put your hands down like this by your waist and just start swinging hooks at everyone. They're going to hit you in the face. But for some reason, it works for Chuck Liddell. What Quatro Ace does only works for him. It's amazing to watch. And yeah, that's why I started my channel. These are techniques that work for you.

I hope that Quattro Ace isn't functionally retarded in a few years. There's no telling. His reckless abandon, Chuck Liddell. Yeah, I see. But yeah, anyways, I watch him. And it's just amazing to see what's possible. But it's never going to be strats that like for me i'd be like and hit this number for this unit and drag that over there and then put this one over there and then and then he would like be like hot keying and somehow like multiple different strategies are happening at the same

time he's like i'm going for the you know hammer and anvil here just in case that fails though and then inevitably me in later matches in that game i'm always like who's left who do i have left all right there's like nine goblins over there get over here buddy all right i got some uruk-hai i got a troll i got my general all right gather up he like just as i'll be watching and it's like oh dude this guy kyle remind me the guy's name who's super fucking good turin turin and you'll be like man it looks like he's running low on guys and he goes and he always commentates on thein and you'll be like man it looks like he's running low on guys and he goes and he always commentates on the replay and he'll be like and things were looking dark but

that's when i remembered i had four contingents of elven riding archers i'd forgotten about and then he'll bring in like what amounted to a 20 of his entire army build and the other guys like we're gonna win we're gonna and they just pours over him and it's like he would it's like you think he didn't forget he was just no no like a story he got engaged in like a battle and I'm getting really focused and the strategy didn't pan out like in the middle for him to like send those archers to harass the behind because it's easy to forget units because there are so many of them and then like late in the game he's just like oh shit well I'm gonna win I forgot about these guys.

You can get that good. Gandalf on his way horse showed up. So first-person shooters require this sort of fast Twitch hand-eye coordination stuff. Quick Twitch. You can get good at that. I've played Turin several times

and I always lose, but I hold my own like like it's not a stomping like i'm in one of his videos he's like oh oh all right i got him i bet when you watched that on the replay and he was like oh whoa you were like doing pretty oh and i got him oh really he knew he had me right here? I thought I was in a good position. Yeah. I'm pretty fucking good at Total War. When I was playing that every day for hours and hours a day. Yeah.

That was like right when I got in trouble with the law. And I was like, we're going to have a little bit of free time. Also, Kyla, he learns the meta of games. He'll do his research and learn how to play it. He doesn't just trial and error it like a lot of people. Yeah, I always do that. I always try to find whoever's best at a game. I mean, Turin for me.

I watched hours and hours and hours of Turin play and just learn the meta, like you said, and figure out how to play the fucking game. Warhammer's great. It's an amazing game. Are you finished with Tarkov? No. I'm going to play the game uh yeah warhammer's great that's an amazing game are you finished with tarkov uh no i'm gonna play some more are you still like taking out bitcoins and earning money in it yeah yeah i i pop in there every day and you know add some fuel grab a few bit mostly taking a break though pouring into doom i'm just playing doom it's playing doom i'm really

enjoying that it's so fun i'm waiting for the white in uh as i'm sleeping that looks like yeah no i just got the whatever the cheap thing is the plane standard yeah i don't know what the elite bundle gives you it probably is some cosmetics or something but just playing the game especially if you if you get a lot of the secrets and such you end up with so many cosmetics anyway like i've got like six, six different suits for my Doom guy. I've got him, like, wearing the original suit from 1992. So, like, he's just wearing that green suit with his belly button showing.

The one where when you take energy, your guy's face gets bloodied in a little health meter at the bottom center. Yeah, yeah. That's how it used to be yeah back in back in 92 or 93 yeah yeah you're not even more sophisticated now yeah you've got a health oh i'm not sure that's right i wanted to see 2020 graphics of like his eyes yeah like bloods trickling like moving right he's got a square fucking head before they used to have

i'll make it up like six different images representing the different level of beat up that he is yeah now i want it to be animated you know blood dripping across his lip the guy licking it off or like yeah that would be fun you're so hardcore you're so hardcore in that game it's so much fun like like like i love like the little tidbits they've added in there where where you hear like what I don't know it's like the spokesman for the demon she's like the rumors of the Doom Slayer have been greatly exaggerated he is not invincible we can do this you're going through this thing where you have to kill like three priests or something and like every level you're getting one of these like

Demonic priests and you get to like the second or third get like the second one He's just like you'll never get bill the priest and you show him Bill's head. You just toss it on the ground He's like ah shit, and then well hang on a minute. Maybe we can Blow his head off and then you get to the third priest the third priest is like He puts all this shit in front of you and he's talking mad shit the whole way He's like I've created an abomination to stop you and you kill the abomination and then two more abominations show up and you kill both of those and like 50 more guys and And the priest is just like now he's in bargaining mode. He's just like oh great Slayer

Perhaps there is something i can do to aid you in your righteous journey maybe i could do this or that and you just cut his head off like there's no bargaining you don't need any help from anyone because you're basically evil god you're you're a righteous god you you're you're the same guy who's been in all the games before. Since between Doom 64, which is the third game, not Doom 3. It went Doom 1, Doom 2, Doom 64, and then Doom 3, I think. But in Doom 64, you were like, I'm staying in hell. I'm going to keep

fighting. I'm just going to stay in hell. I'm gonna keep I'm gonna just I'm gonna keep fighting I'm just gonna stay in hell instead of going back to earth You just stay in hell to fight and in this game they show a little flashback. We're like they cat they capture you and they're like Sir, we found him fighting demons. He's we don't know what he is He's he's incredibly tough and your character is like rip and tear. And they're like, god damn. Well, all right. Let's train him up a little bit more.

And they take you under their wing and make you virtually godlike. So I don't know. It's a lot of fun. It's a long-ass campaign. You have to go through, I don't know, eight, nine missions. I got inspired both times kyle read the beginning like hell and the demons have summoned everything they can master and we just sent you yeah i'm gonna read it again it's great let's see doom eternal opening

you are selling copies of this game. I know it. Where is it? Actually, let's just watch it. All right. I'm down. This is going to be one of those things where Kyle's performance is better than the real one, but we'll try watching it. I don't know. This guy's got a voice on him.

All right. Yeah, the whole cinematic, honestly, is fucking cool. This is what happens when you first power the game up. Okay. You guys ready? Yeah. Set. Wait, Taylor, what did you say? I'm up. Okay. You guys ready? Yeah. Set. Wait, Taylor, what did you say? I'm ready. Ready, set, play.

Against all the evil that hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send unto them only you. Rip and tear until it is done.

Look at the moon. The moon got fucked. Casualties ranging in the fields. Jesus. We must pray now. Pray that he's watching. Please, anyone, if you can hear me, if you're out there. Attempting to acquire the Hell Priest signal. This is you? 60% of our planet has been consumed by the invaders. This is you? Yeah. The music is good. It's so good! It's so good! Like that happens when you start the game

and you're just like, yeah! Let's fucking go! And then portal and then automatically like 50 guys here and you're like, you! And you're like you and you and you it's so fun it's great that opening and the whole way through they're pumping you up like that

the music you mentioned the music the whole like every time you go into like an arena full of enemies it's like da na na na da na na na da na na da da da na na na na and it's great it's great they have part of the music is this this choir they hired like 25 those people who do like the Sort of like shit. They are 25 men and 25 women and they sing as a chorus and so you're playing and it's just like

and you're just like fuck this is kind of scary it's super demonic it's great seems sick yeah i'm definitely gonna download i love this shit i'm gonna play as soon as we're done here i'm going back in i'm going back in i might dream uh tarcroft tonight we'll see did you get shooterer Born in Heaven? Did you do that task? No, that seemed way too hard and annoying. I wanted no part of that. I have a plan. So for people that don't know, basically you have to go to like five different maps,

kill three players, which are much harder than AI to kill, by headshot at over 100 meters. And just like the opportunities don't come that often and they shoot back. So here's the plan. I'm going to spawn in with my giant fucking bright purple backpack.

I'm going to drop that backpack about 100 meters from my camping spot as a rat trap. And then when they go to loot it, I'm going to pop them in the head. I will do it all night long until I get the necessary kills. People on your stream are like, hey hey you want to do some no you don't have to be here

so i've got ideas pastille was like you know when i do this i like to play i spy with my little eye anybody's case with the stream like yeah you probably saw where he is, up on that scaffolding, up the ramp on interchange. For interchange, yeah. Yeah, looking back at the exit, yeah. That's really the best way. And the rat trap idea I think should be fun. We'll see, we'll see. Yeah, he does the rat trap occasionally.

Yeah, it's real fun. For me, I don't know that my streams are better when I'm playing and killing everyone. It might be better if I wait 10 minutes between action and do just chatting. We'll see how it plays out. We'll see. I'm looking forward to it,

to playing Call of Duty again. I think Doom is the one to play! I want to be able to do it. I'll do Doom. I'll do Doom for sure. It's just like I'm going to download it as I'm sleeping at night, and then I can do that. Because I've already got COD ready.

The quarantine impacted you much? You're working from home, I guess? Yeah, still. I'm busy most of the day working and doing stuff, so that really hasn't changed. It's not like I'm lazing around during the day. Do you miss the office? No.

No, it is sick being able to wear my pajamas all day i don't like i usually i get up i do not shower i come in here i have my work computer and laptop and everything and i do whatever i got to do or hop on calls or everything and that's that's daily that i'm taking meetings and calls. And then, you know, I, after work, I'll go work out, you know, usually I can, you know, dip out, even, you know, dip out, I'm at home. So, and I could just go down before the end of like, before 5pm or anything, just bring my phone with me to keep tabs on any email, take a call if I need to work out. And then like my girlfriend has an essential job. And so she's still out and about most days. And then she comes back. That's why I'm probably

going to get this shit. Your Corona provider, my Corona provider effectively. Yeah. But really it's, I haven't been in it long enough to mind too much. I can see a couple of weeks from now getting really bored because I, I do go out with my friends a lot. We go out, we hang out, we go to bars and events and things. So yeah, basically I'm like, I need some kind of social outlet other than, obviously my girlfriend's here, but talking to one person for 12 weeks would not be fun. And I've got you guys who, unironically, I spend more time talking to you guys than so many other people in my life. Just from the five hours a week or whatever.

And so I figured this was a good time to like kick up streaming, you know, a few times a week again, have fun with it and engage with people. So. A lot of people have been complaining about like feeling cooped up and stuff. I don't know how to say this without being an asshole, but it's like, got this big house,

we're kind of practicing social distancing at home, to be honest with you. Yeah. I got no problem with it. I enjoy it. I don't like people, you know? I don't like to be around them. I don't want to see them.

Don't want to interact with them. Enjoy my- It's perfect for you yeah i love it i love it i i have evolved to succeed in the in the era of covet 19. yeah i'm ready to go i have never worked out this i don't think i've ever lifted as many days in a row i think i'm on like nine or ten days in a row now without a day off because I just, like, I do feel a little bit of anxiety being inside and knowing that like, huh, I'm almost out of cream soda and I,

I'm not going to go get any afterward. Huh? All my, my tasty drinks are on my snacks, all this and that. And so like exercising has been really keeping a level head for me. It's going to be us in our tasty treats. It's going to be us in our tasty treats.

Yeah. I tell you what, going out today, like I said, definitely it's the first time I've been really outside the house in weeks now, maybe a month, maybe over a month, maybe six weeks or something like that that I had like went somewhere. I haven't been drug tested in like almost two months or something like that. I think they called that shit off. No, I don't think that. I that like the low-risk people like me. They're like

Smoke up bro. Just don't spread the corona, you know Inside yeah, yeah So like driving today and seeing so many things shut the fuck down like driving through it land I had to go quite quite a distance There was some sort of of federal checkpoint where they had eight flashing lights, and they had people outside in the yard of a closed down... It looked like a closed down

I don't know, laser tag facility that didn't have a sign on it anymore. There's guys all outside with masks. I don't know what they were doing there. Then the hospital was just scary. Was there traffic? Not much. Not nearly as much as there should have been maybe two or three weeks ago and uh maybe maybe two anyway there are people on the road traffic was half normal and i was shocked i thought traffic would be non i thought

it'd be a ghost town like w. You know like like this is normal This is what it looks like now And it went from a densely populated city like you'd expect New York to be to just empty streets. No cars six people instead of I can't even count 1,500 or something, you know in that little frame and I went out and I was like I see that the restaurants are all closed but by and large it they've all got signs that say like we still do take out you can pick it up like trying to stay in business all the restaurants when i went to best buy today like i was gonna go there and then uh my girlfriend was like hey check online see if they're even open. So I did the way you have to buy stuff at Best Buy now, you have to go on their app or online, pick out the, the, the stock keeping unit number of whatever

the item is that you want on their website, and then plug that in and then buy it. And then you drive up into like a drive-through and a Best Buy employee comes out to your car with whatever item it is in a glove on his hand. I was buying a hard drive. He came out with a blue glove, handed it to me, and I just drove away. It was my best Best Buy experience ever. I'm sure you've seen the people who are intentionally coughing on fruit and stuff

and licking ice cream. Yeah, that one Missouri guy got a fucking felony. Sucks to suck. I saw a girl. We're not against felons here, Taylor. Back off, would you? We are pro-felon. He Taylor. Back off, would you? We are pro-felon. He got a deserved felony. There was this ice cream cooler.

There was this ice cream cooler, the kind that has sliding glass on top. You can slide in from both sides and reach in. The girl sits on top of it, pulls her jean shorts to the side, and pisses on it. And I mean a big, long piss where she's just like, and it's gushing she covers the top of it with piss right then she walks over the cosmetics and she grabs some lipstick off the

thing and opens it up puts it on then she pulls those shorts to the side again and herself with the lipstick and then i like to put it back on the shelf did she should be in jail they should kill her yeah I should just kill her right away they should shoot her with that doom shotgun that breaks down with two shots sounds kind of hot to me that is just very low-grade terrorism it's a domestic threat and I'm on Team Kyle. We need to put her in stocks in the middle of the public square, and we can throw bullets at her

from our guns. It was awful. It was awful. I couldn't believe it. I just tried to find that woman, and I found a woman pissing on potatoes at a grocery store. This is a completely different woman pissing on things. What does this have to do with Corona? These people might just be into

public water sports. In the midst of one pandemic, we've discovered another. What are women doing out there? Why are they pissing on all of our supplies? We have Tucker Carlson here. Might have the right idea. Maybe Khabib is onto something here. Wrap that bitch up in Tucker Carlson here might have the right idea. Not letting him go out. Yeah, maybe. Maybe Khabib is on to something.

I knew that bitch up in a town. I got you on the right team. Khabib's wife. She's not getting Corona. Everyone's getting it. Yeah. Everybody's getting it. All right. Well, he's going to get it.

He's going to infect Kyle and I over the years. And he's through the Internet. I'm going to come Kyle and I over the internet I'm going to sneeze through the internet I'm going to sneeze into a letter and mail it to both of you imagine I would go to jail it's like one of those glitter bombs that shoots glitter but it's just spit I'm pretty sure my fire pit takes out your corona

drop it to or from St. Louis you know the rules and so do i yeah i see you threw away my decoy package you bet you opened the one that said census 2020 didn't you yeah guess what came all over it how do you like that it's not transmissible by semen shit now you're pregnant over it. How do you like that? It's not transmissible by semen. I actually do like it. Shit. Well, now you're pregnant. Yeah.

If Taylor and I had a baby, there's no telling when this thing hits puberty. It could be anywhere. Crapshoot. Could be nine, could be nineteen. Or maybe it averages out to average. To normal. Call it a show? Yep. Yeah, I can smell my dinner. EKN 293.