Painkiller Already - PKN #296

Episode Date: May 1, 2020

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pkn 296 i i got two things on my mind one taylor's hair to the last episode of pka which one do you want to go with ozark kyle is chomping at the bit no i don't know either way either way what was uh what do you want to say about the last episode i thought it was hilarious went great i usually. Usually at the end of an episode, I know that it's good. Right? Sometimes at the end, I'm like, you know, that one was fine. You know, it wasn't a bad show. Sometimes like last week, I'm like, drop the mic.

Prepare to sit in praise for the next seven days as people watch this show. And that was how it was. I mean, yeah. Dick and Anthony make it easy. I know. Those guys i know roll with every punch you can professionals they do the same job as us it they they did a great job it was a really well-received episode and it just feels good that's all i got really totally agree that's good yeah people like the product yeah i like uh i love anthony anthony's great i mean i like dick too

but but i really love Anthony. Anthony's fucking great. I just know so much about him personally after reading his... What's that? I interrupted, but I was saying maybe the book brought you closer to him. After reading his book,

I haven't watched as much ONA as Taylor has, but I've watched a good bit and listened to a good bit of it. And, man, yeah, I like Anthony a lot. As a person, I like Anthony. Not that I don't like Dick as a person. I think Dick's hilarious too. But I feel a strong bond with Anthony.

I bond more with Dick. I like them both. I think I'm in the same – Don't make me choose. The other side of the page here, right? No, I don't know. Even though Dick says that he other side of the page here right no i don't know even though dick says that he thought i hated him at first i still don't know if that was a joke but but uh i always felt like i don't know like we're online friends or something whereas kumi is like

oh yeah that woody guy i know who he is yeah when did that happen was there we were just doing one episode and didn't dick say like are you mad at me or something like to that effect or i think harley brought it up like when i first met woody i thought he hated me it was um i think kyle was unavailable that episode and i was yeah that was before the prison i was in california different thing it was kyle's it was the start of it you might say um who knows who knows i'm sure it was some sort of a legal snafu yeah i think it think it was the day that you spent a night oh that was fun so we had double guests Dick and Harley

I think I was in California I spent several days in jail you mean you don't go back and listen to the episodes that you have to miss no I'm joking I don't either I just sit there like a narcissist going where's my voice if it's not. I don't either. I just sit there like a narcissist going, where's my voice?

If it's not there, I don't care. Every once in a while I listen to the show and I like it. I'm like, I get why people watch this. This isn't half bad. Yeah. I hate listening to myself for the most part. But if like, I get on like a hair up my ass where i'm like you know what like i'll just have something pop into my head a story i told on the show that i know has

clips of it made with a bunch of views and i'll like re-watch that every once in a while and my thoughts and watching is like damn it ah that was bad timing that wasn't a good example that would have been funnier this would have been a funnier way to do that or like bible stories especially i'll re-watch sometimes. Very rarely because it's... Are you the same way, Kyle? You said you're not like where you don't like to watch yourself speak? No, I'm pretty narcissistic. I enjoy it.

Oh, I'm different. Maybe I'm the weird one. If something of me gets recommended to me on my YouTube app on TV, I'm like, eh, probably something good. Oh, yeah! That's so funny. You're sitting there with a girl and you're looking at your own TV. It's a

thumbnail of you telling a Kyle story. Oh, no, it's a documentary someone made about me. You want to watch? This is the Kyle joke story compilation. Sit back and prepare to laugh. And she's like, this is five and a half hours long. And it's like, yeah. It could have been eight.

Yeah, they really cut it down to the best parts. Text your mom, please call me and say it's an emergency. The show's not about that. Why is your bathroom locked from the outside? Kyle! Kyle! Like Dennis's. Yeah, exactly. I had not watched any of season 15

or i think 14 is the newest one yeah i've seen them all watched any of that or any of 13 because i got so discouraged by the very beginning two episodes i think the most recent episode i had watched until like a couple days ago was the the bogs women reboot oh that's awful of all it's not it wasn't a good episode the first time why are we talking about this show has sucked for five years now not five give it up for a two it's been there there were some in this current season that were funny i'll admit and there were some in the in the last season that were funny but overall it's just that ratio going down and mac is so jacked now and so much of a subservient bitch boy to Dennis that that dynamic is now off.

You know, he's too much of a simp for Dennis. You know, Frank's still hilarious as always. That happens in so many shows, right? Like you start off and it's like, oh, he's the funny guy and he's the straight guy. And then they take that dynamic and make it more extreme and more extreme and more extreme. 14 years in, suddenly one guy's wearing a fucking ball gag and the other guy has a leather whip

and it's like, ah, you're kind of stretching it too much. Characters can become caricatures of themselves after too many seasons. The Office did that, you know, by the end of The Office, especially those final two seasons without Michael Scott. Characters like Kevin became essentially retarded. Characters like Oscar became like such nitpicking douchebags that you...

Unlikable. There was nothing... Yeah, unlikable. You couldn't enjoy him anymore. Fact checkers. Everybody was... Like, Phyllis was ridiculous now with, like, the things she'd let slip out.

Because that's kind of been a hallmark of her character. I remember getting anal in Cancun in 74. And it's like, Phyllis, shut the fuck up. Nobody's liked you, even in the early seasons. What's funny about Phyllis is that Phyllis looks like Mother Goose, but she'll occasionally let it slip that she's really wild sexually or she'll be really, slip that she's really wild sexually or that she or she'll be really like nasty and rude to someone in a very like cutting to the core kind of way uh and you

know that happened i liked her being more the butt or the prop of the joke like i don't remember what early season it was but it was michael being like uh and phyllis the grandmother of the office like in saying something he's trying to pump people up and be like stanley the black guy jim And Phyllis, the grandmother of the office. She's trying to pump people up and be like, Stanley, the black guy, Jim, the cool guy, Phyllis, the grandma of the office that we all look to. And she's like, Michael, we're the same age. And Michael's like, I don't know about that. He's like, we went to the same high school, Michael.

We graduated. He's like, I don't know, Phyllis. Well, you know, my birthday was in November he tries to make this like oh well three months more and I'd have been a year behind it's like you're the same fucking age which shows how good Michael looks versus

she's just a regular person you know and she's a very ugly person and Steve Carell has spent a life in you know in Hollywood making himself look pretty Steve Carell did not look that good in season one. It wasn't that good. I watched this whole review the other day and they were like, they were talking about his hair. His hair looks terrible.

It's brushed straight back and it's really thinning. And they were like, we don't know what they did to Steve Carell's hair to make it look like that. But props to them because the man has a thick, wonderful head of hair, and I'm like, have you never seen the show? No, he doesn't. Are you high? They spray painted his bald spot. Is that what they do?

I can see it. I've never heard anyone call it out before, but where his part is over here, they clearly have spray painted his fucking skull to make it like dark so that you can't see there's no hair there like i not on camera okay i was gonna say maybe it only works on camera i've seen um i've seen infomercials where they show this hair spray paint and like it look i'm like my god that looks like hair now i

think what's happening is they have lots of thin hairs and they may be bald blonde hairs or something that you can't see very well and then the the paint just goes on that but maybe i could find one on youtube but i'm like there's some trickery there yeah next time you watch the office like look click carefully like there's weird stuff going on with his hairline where there is paint and there's a comb over thing going on and it's uh it's ridiculous it's ridiculous he's also had a hair surgery he's almost certainly gets a hair surgery uh um but in any case that's okay in any case yeah things don't get things generally don't get better in their later seasons but i think sunny has held up okay what is that product called i'm trying to find a video we can

watch together it's not called hair i believe it's made by DuPont. Hairspray. Hairspray is the styling thing for women. Spray hair. Spray hair might be right. Yeah, that might actually work. I liked him more. I agree with you about certainly

Sonny isn't dropping off like the Simpsons where like, if you try and watch an episode, they lost all the writers now. It's like, what's happening. This is the dumbest. This is embarrassing. If you go back and you look at the,

the all stars of comedy that they had writing for them in the, the early seasons. Simpsons. I mean, yeah, yeah. It's a ridiculous list of people. I know Conan was on there for a little bit, but I can't name them off the top of my head.

But I've looked at it before and it's like, holy shit, all those people were writing for The Simpsons? And then they all leave. You know, like season five, season six, I don't know, somewhere in there. And then I watched this whole documentary the other day about The Simpsons and about that drop off. And it was literally what I documentary the other day about The Simpsons and about that drop-off. And it was literally what I just described about certain TV shows and their latest seasons.

Was it the one you told me to watch a while back? Because I watched that the same night you told me, and it did skew my perception. It's where characters become characters to themselves. Like early on, Homer was a bit dumb, right? He'd hit his thumb with a hammer. But he could read, you know? Like there's even a scene where he he reads like like you see

him read a sign with a couple of three syllable words on it right he reads it out loud by like the 16th season or whatever he he's illiterate now like the man can't read he's charlie yeah and to put it in perspective season 16 in the grand scheme of things, that's about 52% of the way through where they are now. Yeah. Can you imagine being on season 16 of a show that you know as a voice actor sucks now? Being like, we're on the last leg, boys.

We're on the last leg. 15 years later, you're still sitting there. Hank Azaria has no qualms about cashing those checks. Yeah, but if you're like Dan it. Hank Azaria has no qualms about cashing those checks. Like, he's... Yeah, but if you're like Dan Castellaneta and those guys, like, you have so much... They're some of the richest people in Hollywood because of The Simpsons.

Yeah. If they're getting any kind of syndication money whatsoever, it's bananas. How many episodes have they made? Probably like 800, 500. I haven't seen Simpsons in ages. Is it that bad? No. The new ones are horrible. I don't seen Simpsons in ages. Is it that bad? No. The new ones are horrible. I don't think they are.

I don't think they're horrible. There was a time when the Simpsons could legitimately be like an 8.5 out of 10. Some of the episodes you would feel. There were episodes when they were poor and it was like fuck. Homer loses his job. he gets depressed and he's

gonna kill himself like he's walking to the bridge to kill himself it's like this is a real kind of comedy drama that we're watching here it's just animated and yeah it's ridiculous and everything it's funny it was funny it was heartfelt and and the character seemed quasi real but at this point it's more of like a five out of ten which is still average i think yeah average it's still average and and if you you know you know those characters so i want to look at this hairspray thing that we were talking about a second ago so i i intentionally time stamped it at 27 fair warning the guy before this looked like shit but this guy i thought it kind of worked i'm at 27. Fair warning. The guy before this looked like shit. But this guy, I thought it kind of worked. I'm at

27 seconds. Are you guys there? Yeah. Taylor? Yes, I am. Lies. Lies. Okay. Ready, set, play. So in a second, look at this. That kind of worked. Standard definition camera, though.

You know what I mean? I know. I know. Look at. You're right. You're right. But I want to see this next guy. That looks better than just paint.

It looks better than just paint on this camera. But if you were to see this guy in real life, it would be so gross to know. Look at this. Slip to the Sharpie factory. Here's another thing i bet in the sunlight it shines yes i oh no no black man i'm willing to say that it might just shave your head well this does not match his hair this is a problem with this that's a little crazy bitch it's like i the children aren't as afraid anymore. But I think that it's better than I expected

because I think what's happening is bald guys aren't bald. They just look it. What they actually have are thin little hairs that you don't see very well. And you're sticking them up with this paint and it looks like hair. Look at this guy. This guy's hair looks, he's such a serial killer.

He looks like an albino assassin from a Bond movie. After a few months of not having hair, I lost all the will to live and some of my hobbies fell by the wayside. Now, I'm free to get

right back to what I love. It shows him, like, lifting a second leg with a bag of Cadillac. Yeah. No matter how heavy something is or how much red

you get on it, rinse is clean in the shower. All things are forgotten in the shower. Oh, that you get on it rinse is clean in the shower all things are forgotten oh that's the other thing i bet in the shower it's just poor like you see it didn't you see that guy spray paint his arm and say rain is the problem yeah rain isn't a problem but shampooing your fucking head's gotta be or this isn't safe for you like you know when we play paintball and you take that post paintball shower and you look at the drain you're like oh today was rough sounds like you've been hit i can't it's like orange and green swirling you're like oh where'd the red come from oh god but you're like trying to convince yourself you're not that bad you're like i leaned on most of this so yeah i don't know about that know about that but it's on if you look at Michael Scott

is they painted his head I never noticed I liked him more something I liked about the UK office is that they have Frankie Gervais look like shit he looks like shit he looks like a middle manager

at a paper company like he exact same trajectory him and Michael Scott He looks like shit. He looks like a middleman at a paper company. Exact same trajectory, him and Michael Scott, except the UK one didn't go long enough for him to fucking get fit or anything, and he wasn't as big of a name. He stayed sloppy the whole time. Well, yeah, they did the one season. I wanted him to be sloppy.

They did the one season. It wasn't that popular. And The Office, I can't remember why it survived, but there's a very interesting like uh story about why the office actually survived to make it to the second third season because it was shitty uh ratings it was doing really poorly but um the u.s initially yeah the u.s office if you look at season one steve carell is over the top like nasty and racist and was it that his movies were doing well and Carell's star rose? Because I feel like 40-year-old Virgin might have saved it, and that's not it. Uh-uh.

No, that was, you can actually tell when the 40-year-old Virgin happens. My guess is it's around season four, because Michael starts looking real thin, looking real in shape, because he's shirtless and four-year-old virgin getting waxed and stuff you notice every time he eats he's like eating broccoli now whereas before he was just pigging out um yeah he goes home and he's like and then i sit by myself i eat a entire bag of steamed broccoli and fall asleep yeah that's just another night it's like yeah everybody everybody got better looking for the most part um phyllis definitely did uh phyllis definitely gets like better looking to some extent and uh and even meredith uh looks a little bit better you know what i'd like i would like

them to really define who they had in mind for this grant and strangler all the way? Was it Phyllis' husband? Was it someone else? Was it the guy who sings? Toby is one of the candidates. Some people think it's Andy maybe I have in mind. But you think it's Toby? Were you saying that as a suggestion? I watched a whole fucking 30-minute video the other day breaking down the case for

who it could be. I think it came down to Gabe being the one. No, no, no, because Gabe wasn't in town. It's Toby. I think it came down to being Toby. I wonder if the writers have ever said or if they actually knew.

The closest they've come to giving you hints and clues is the Scranton Strangler's car is seen parked in the parking lot of Dunder Mifflin. That's some deep... So it's heavily insinuated that he is a Dunder Mifflin employee, the Strangler. It would be Creed, right?

Another little tidbit about the Strangler. Creed doesn't have the strength. And I feel like if Creed was going to assault someone, he'd kill them. Interesting thing about the Strangler. Not a murderer. Just a Strangler. He would strangle them, but they'd live. Really?

What? Yes. What an awful villain. I didn't realize that. Another reason. I think it might be Toby. Not a powerful man. Not a powerful man.

He could choke you a little but you know maybe you know you pull a dwight shrewd you break the grip there's a scene where phyllis implies that vance can do things and get even and make it happen and and that's what made me think he might be you wouldn't want to see bob mad something close to that like yeah surprise and it's like what would happen never mind yeah i think you know the scene yeah yeah yeah i'm like is he the scranton strangling i don't know so uh you were you're wanting to talk about uh the or not the office we were just talking about that uh ozark i finished ozark yeah i uh i watched the whole fucking thing and And, uh, and I was talking to, uh, to Midian, a couple of guys about,

about it when I was, I had one episode to go. I just finished like the, what do they call it? Pent up pen pen ultimate. Yeah. Episode. And,

uh, so I had one more to go when I was, I was sitting here chatting with a couple of guys like, Hey, it was, it's really good, huh guys? And then they were like,

yeah, I think it's the best season. And I was like, no, I think season one is the best season of Ozark, but this is a close second. And then I watched the final episode and I came back and I was like, all right,

season three is the best season. Season three is the best season of Ozark. It has topped season one. Quite a shock in that last scene. I don't want to spoil it. Yeah, I haven't seen it. Yeah, well, we'll hold off on that but you're in for a treat woody man the bipolar brother uh incredible acting on his part killed it killed

it killed i liked him as soon as we met him right as soon as i what were they sharing nudes of a girl or something yeah it looked like it that was what was implied and uh he's like you people are animals and he takes all their phones and throws them into the wood chipper. Fucking emotional terrorists. Yeah. And then I don't know why he attacked the wood chipper owner operator. Oh, he was just in a rage. He's bipolar.

He has snapped. Yeah. He doesn't fully, you know, internalize what he's doing prior to when he starts doing it. And so he was frustrating to watch a good actor but like you'd watch him and you'd watch dumb ass sister of his like no you gotta keep him on a leash you can't let him be fiddle fucking around with phones and things when he's you're supposed to be watching him and then it would be like like the memory of a goldfish where he would colossally make a terrible situation worse and within 15 minutes of not screen time of like them in the scene together

then she'll just again be like all right well i've got to take a shit so here's the cell phone here's the satellite phone uh here's keys to the car here's all my money and my checkbook and a couple of my fingerprints i'm gonna going to be up 45 minutes. I'll ring you before I get back. And then he'll just sit there and cause problems. And it's like, why would you do this? He had his own phone.

He was, he, it, they made it really clear that like this guy can't be saved. You can't, you can't fix this guy because what he has is an illness. And I don't know why they didn't give him some meds right away, right?

That would have been my immediate thing. Like, hey, we got to get you back. They jumped right past that. They acted like there wasn't a magical pill to fix his problem. That's wrong. No, they acted like he stopped taking his pills and he didn't like them anymore.

We're talking about an episode you haven't seen. How far are you in, Woody? Episode eight or nine. They said that... Is it really at the end there because they they said he stopped taking his meds and that was why he was going off the rails yeah but there's a there's a point when they're trying to corral him and trying to like keep him under control and keep him from hurting himself and causing harm and they do everything but put him on his meds oh well i i have a dnd explanation they just kind of forgot about the meds perhaps it yeah it was just into the ether but yeah you're right it's

like the they are like will you please get back on your medicine he's like no and they're like well then we will have to hell or high water find another solution around this. Yeah, they go to such great lengths to... And we're never going to revisit this? They go to such great lengths, you know, to try to solve the brother-in-law problem. How about this? Take the medicine and get a prescription for some dick pills. Go to bluechew.com, bitch.

If only there was a magic pill to fix all of these problems at bluechew.com slash pka where you'll get your first order for free. Only $5 shipping. That season would have turned out different. It wouldn't have been a very exciting season, though. I think it was exciting enough without the brother-in-law story

arc. He caused a lot of the problems, though. Did he? I mean, he really inflamed things there. But I think if you take him out you get the same ending if you remove him entirely from the plot if you really think about the things that were driving certain characters in the directions they were going i'm trying not to like spoil anything um especially for woody but i think you could have taken him completely out of the storyline and everything all the pieces would have been in the same positions. Certain characters would have been less emotionally damaged,

but they've still been in the same positions. How much is Ruth paid? Cause it seems like she's worked her way up to running a casino and she's still broke someday, someday hoping for the unattainable dream of a small home. And it's like, it seems like at some point Jason Bateman could just toss her $150,000 as a tip. My understanding, yeah, is that she's got lots of fucking money. Okay.

But also like all of her family members that have died and lived in that area. It's kind of like, it's kind of the way she keeps going back and trying to get that skinny wispy looking kid that weirdo to to hang out with her more i forget his name there's a scene where they touch on it yeah yeah why you're right and like the way that like it's i the way i'm thinking of it is like yeah she could obviously afford to move out but all of her family's history and her last little you know tendril to connection to her father and her uncles and everybody who's now dead is in this little patch of shitty land and so she feels like and now why it's gone and three's gonna leave soon and if i leave here what's even there to tell me that my family ever existed at all well there's a scene that touches on that right when um crazy crazy baby mama lady with the with

the opium fields goes you can can elevate yourself without losing yourself. And she's like, yeah, maybe I can. Because she's still, like you said, living in that trailer when she clearly has tens of thousands of dollars of liquid cash easily. Am I missing the signs of that? Maybe I missed it. I can't tell that she has any wealth. Well, you saw all the account transfers where she's put it looked like at least 10 000 just on one page into into her

brother's account okay okay yeah maybe i didn't pay attention because if she has enough money to send him a grand a week every week for months on end they needed a fleer depth finder and acted like that was an impossible thing to do. And they simply had to steal it from a more well-to-do member of society. And I'm like, couldn't you just go to the Marines door and toss them $1,500?

Do you need to set up this scuba diving heist? I think they just like stealing. Yeah, and they're white trash. You got to keep that in mind. They are trash. I guess, but I feel like if I gave white trash a lot of money and they're white trash. You've got to keep that in mind. They are trash. I guess, but I feel like if I gave white trash a lot of money, they'd buy it. She's smart, though.

She's the only smart piece of white trash in the whole show, and that's her defining feature, is that she's nasty. She's nasty. She's white trash, but she's the smartest of them all. She's quick-witted for her station in life. What frustrates me about

that show is if everybody was on team listen to what Marty says, this would be a smooth operating, participating in the S&P 500 business. He'd be doing great. You're simultaneously

right, but I'll tell you one of the things i like about the show though is wendy even though she has some bad strategic vision her execution can be amazing but when she went out there and like talked to the right people and solved problems created problems and and got that casino to happen i don't think marty gets that done without his wife and his wife started off the show it's like a i don't know infidelity side character problem of marty's and she becomes an important partner of his and i like what they did with that character yeah it's almost the opposite of that where it's like okay she starts off not being as involved because she shouldn't be because like you shouldn't get your whole family involved in this business you know marty but she forces her

way in and then like when it comes down to it she has no skills that are adding to anything i don't think she's ever solved a problem that didn't immediately result in a larger more difficult problem to solve throughout the entire series and that's all that she's done when she's like the she's like the wife of a president where it's like you didn't you don't know shit about bullying or or uh eating carrots bitch they just gave you something to do and then you know yeah when there's a high stakes conversation she's the one who can change somebody's mind right marty can't change anybody's mind marty can be right he can have the right vision he can solve problems but he's not persuasive like she is

yeah i agree with woody because her background is that she had been running political campaigns so she's very adept at working with politicians and like doing all that fundraiser work and uh and her organizational skills are second to none. She's running that office building that they have that's pulling all the strings for the casino and all their other properties. She's the one picking out real estate and stuff. Is that Ruth doing all of the day-to-day?

The day-to-day, but this isn't day-to-day. I'm talking about the office building that the wife is in where she's like she was like you know i spent like talking to a shit yeah you know she's running a lot of stuff but mostly the political context right that lawyer she goes and sees um you know she set up she sets up that huge fundraiser toward the end of the the season i don't know if what he's gotten there yet you know that's all that's all the political contacts the conniving the getting the casino license to begin with that's all her marty marty has put like the meat on the table but she has prepared it eloquently it's it's it's all about her her uh it's it's about what she does with what marty provides when there's a difficult

conversation right there's one or two people on that side of the table. Then we are here rooting for Marty and Wendy. I think, um, it's oftentimes Wendy who just says the perfect thing that needs to be said and makes the conversation go like we want it to. Whereas Marty could be checked out or just he's right, but he's not getting it done. Whereas she's like,

you know, and she's morally fluid which is fun in her character right i think her morals are even weaker than marty's and oh for sure she's a much worse person than marty okay he's much more boring not his personality is more boring his character isn't but okay yeah so her moral fluidity is it adds to the show you know she's i wanted more of the down syndrome kid this season oh he doesn't do much for me you like what i love that kid he's so he's he's so like endearing i really enjoy him i wanted him i wanted him like to have like some like higher up position in the

casino like i wanted him to be like a floor manager or something i want three's character to get filled out that'd be funny three like it well first of all his real name's three i think i'm a little not keeping up with that i doubt his real name's three on his birth certificate but they call him three yeah they call him three because he's the third one born and just a side character don't give a fuck sort of don't even have a name yeah i don't give a fuck, sort of don't even have a name. Yeah, I don't think he's getting any fleshed out stuff. I really don't give a shit about him. I forgot about the Down Syndrome guy. It would have been funny

though if like, you know, Marty walks into a room and there's a turned around winged chair and he turns around and he's like no, you've uncovered my plan. I bet you think I'm actually retarded no his plan should be retarded i invented something to transfer my brain and my genius brain into the body of an no he should be literally retarded like you, oh, you think you can get me?

Clearly, there's Legos all over the floor. You can't. Now, of course, you know, the $66 million of American currency hidden in the safe behind me is redeemable at, say, KB Toys, KB Candy Shop, and on Amazon.

Tell me, why should I help you with all this? And it's like Marty's there beating the shit. He's like telling his entrance. I could have used more of him. I really could have. I like the kids. I like Marty's kids. I think they're both really strong characters.

I like the son perving out with his drone. I enjoyed that. I love how he's like, yeah, I'm selling gold to these video game guys. I make about six grand a month. And they're like, you should get a summer job. And I'm like, should he? Right? No, he's making more than most families.

He's making $70,000 a year. I like him and his sister. Give me the floor for a second because I got a thing. When I started WoodyCraft, I partnered with this guy named Josh, right? Before Josh worked with me, he made $66,000 a month in the Minecraft world running these, not the gaming servers, but websites that advertise Minecraft servers. And that was actually like his best. It wasn't average. And he was 15 years old and homeschooled and i found his family dynamic

to be interesting right like i i don't want to share too much of his personal business but like how do you force a kid to study like algebra 2 when he's making five digits a month already at 15 you can't yeah right like oh you absolutely can i mean first of all his money should be going into a trust like like 90 of it oh yeah that would be 15 that would be my deal with my kid but even at 90 kids got six thousand dollars a fucking day at some sometimes oh six thousand a month or whatever he's still make making killer money if you're taking 90%. He bought a helicopter. He bought and learned to fly

a helicopter. He wasn't old enough to fly a helicopter, of course. Not old enough to drive, apparently. But he was old enough to fly a helicopter with an instructor. So he had his own helicopter waiting for him the day that he turned 16 and was old enough to get his pilot's license. He had already had hundreds

of hours flying instructed. Yeah. That's a cool little setup for that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. There's different kinds of management and parental challenges,

and that's one I don't see very often. It's fascinating. It's called Richie Rich Syndrome. Yeah. But, yeah, I love this season. Best season yet. Looking forward to next season. It's a long wait. What was I going to say? A couple shows

coming right around the corner though. I'm excited for the rest of Rick and Morty, which comes out in 12 days. Really? Do you have to buy that or is it streaming somewhere? I don't know. the rest of Rick and Morty, which comes out in 12 days. Really? Yeah. Do you have to buy that or is it streaming somewhere? I don't know. I haven't seen it.

I think maybe on Hulu. Maybe it's on Hulu. I know the other seasons are on Hulu. I don't know if it comes right out on Hulu or if you have to wait for a year, but yeah, that's coming. So I'm looking forward to that.

And I saw they're going to make a One Punch Man live action movie. That's in the works at Sony. So I want to see that too. That'll be a while though. So many good movies got pushed to next year or even farther back. Lots of cool stuff is getting, I heard the iPhone's behind schedule. I don't know why those people can work from home, but a lot of things I'm looking forward to.

I'm hoping the next NVIDIA GPU doesn't get pushed back, but I'm predicting it will. I mean, what's the next iPhone going to do that the last 12 didn't? Okay, you're not wrong. For me, though, my iPhone is broken. The button doesn't work.

And I used Siri so much. I'm like the only person in the world that loves Siri and now I can't turn her on because my button's broken and uh I've been holding out for the next iPhone to upgrade because just Google I guess I can't stop it and um I uh I just I want this last iPhone wasn't a major revision. It seems like every two or three years, it's like, ooh, here's the groundbreaking iPhone, the one that's very different than the previous one,

where as opposed to, oh, this one's the same as the last one, but 8% faster. The next one's supposed to be a biggie. It's supposed to be cool, and I want that one. And it might be a year later. It shows how little I pay attention to the phone game, but I feel like very recently, And it might be a year. When does it come out? It shows how little I pay attention to the phone game. But I feel like very recently you were talking about you getting the new iPhone. Was that a year ago?

I don't think that'd be me. I got a new iPhone the same year I got my pool. Oh, yeah. Maybe you were just talking about it. I'll get a new phone when phones start doing a new thing. I can't. When have they done a new phone when phones start doing a new thing. I can't. When have they done a new thing? When they added the compass to the GPS 10 years ago? That was literally the 3.

That wasn't even the 4. The 4 is when it went square and thin. The 3 still had that curved palm-like back to it. That one had a compass. I got a big crack in my phone that held together with tape, and then that started to fail, and so I bought a screen protector to put over it and hold it all together.

So I'm just waiting until the quarantine's over, and then I'll cash this in for whatever. I might do something. Who's your phone through? What service? AT&T. Me too. Isn't that the not good one? Why are you still with AT&T? I could ask myself the same,

but carry on. Because I'm grandfathered in with unlimited data. And so I do not want to change. And where I am, it's not bad. I hear people sometimes where they live, it sucks. St. Louis, not bad, at least.

I do Google Fi because they use everybody's towers. Oh, really? How does that work? Is it unlimited data? Yeah, I've got unlimited data. Yeah, I pay a lot for data, so it's rarely a problem. But I'd rather pay a little and have unlimited. That sounds like you're doing this.

I mean, I use Wi-Fi at home, obviously. Yeah. I go on trips every so often like last year i was doing that acrobatic paragliding thing by the lake once or twice a month and that's a weekend living off my phone watching videos on the phone sometimes i'd upload videos of what i did that day to get advice from experts and that just burns a lot of data yeah yeah any sort of uploading is gonna fuck your data and like my at&t like they try and pretend like i don't know there have been times where like my network like my wi-fi is kind of being fucky or something and i'll just go on the network and then like maybe eight nine days later when i get multiple

notifications like you do you know that you've used eight gigs so far this month just want to just go on the network and then like maybe eight nine days later when i get multiple notifications like you do you know that you've used eight gigs so far this month just want to give you a heads up to not do it and it's like shut the fuck up i'm going to den i like that i'm screaming lord of the rings in hd and leave it in the other room what of course i i use it as a baby monitor i just shined it the kid all night long trying to shame me for my baby it's like if i'm eating at a chinese buffet and ski comes over he's like so i just want to make sure you know that that is the 14th egg roll you eaten in a row i'm like oh really no i was like yeah 115 bitch yeah are you trying to shame me i'm here i gave you my six and a half dollars that's funny i'm trying to make you lose money honestly have you oh lose money have you

guys seen oil lately like it's like more than free right right they're giving it away so they'll pay you to take it it went to negative 37 a barrel and i saw that and i was like that's not real let me fact check this let me look on the side and uh it turns out yes they actually were paying people to take the oil and and at the time i read the article which was a few hours ago it had gone to negative seven dollars a barrel which still i'm like could i just fill up my yard with oil maybe i don't know like this is literally an episode of it's always sunny is it and like so my world's been gang solves the gas crisis everyone i know had talked about buying oil two weeks ago and i just shrugged my shoulders i don't know i feel

like the reason it's crashed is they know something. Motley Fool said don't buy, and that was like my counterpoint. And now it's literally negative. They're just paying oil to keep it. They're worried they don't have enough room to store it or something. I don't know why they would. I don't understand how oil gets lost to zero. Does it? I don't think so.

I know that gasoline and diesel fuel do i don't know about crude oil right i mean there are national strategic oil reserves where they keep it for years like billions of gallons i don't maybe those numbers get so big i have no idea but uh like it's all just overhead and storage right like they can't afford to store it because nobody's using gas nearly as much like i think i filled up my tank a month ago at this point and it's got i've got over half a tank i think i had half a tank about six weeks ago and i was like maybe i should fill it while these prices are so low but i didn't and i haven't driven it since yeah i see i think gas is about my car's 30 it's about it's about a dollar

and 30 cents here it's a sad place to get like i i did that once when i had a uh a big problem with my car this was years ago and i just left it sitting and used a different car for the longest time because it was cheaper than getting it fixed and then when i finally did get it settled settled you try to start it and it's like what did i think was going to happen right obviously it's been sitting on the elements for four months i have chargers and stuff like i'll be able to solve this problem if i have to but i'm like i wonder if i have to jump it next time i go somewhere it's been a month and a half since i've pressed the start button i mean you can just go out there and start her up and let it run for 10 minutes i kind of like the streak i just like this i want to tell this story again like nine weeks man and then it'll be a good one

the time makes it good riveted people will be riveted nine weeks you don't say but yeah i i don't know jackie's started her car but yeah maybe just to get the oil you know flowing to make keep everything lubricated have you considered it be breaking the streak though no you're right if people don't know like did gaskets and things can dry out you should run it every so often most of the gas i've even used in that time period has been just taking drives that are unnecessarily long to get somewhere like i live very close to my grocery stores that i like. And like, if I like order out for a place and go pick it up, I'll just drive past the place for three miles and then take a right.

And then just like 20 minutes, just ride around like at least, you know, once a week or so. I like that. I'm enjoying that. Today is my 24 year marriage anniversary. Congratulations. That is many,

many years. That is a lot of years, right? Only an old person would have a 24 year marriage. Or a Mormon. Or a Mormon, right? You could get that done. 24 years married. How old are you? 36? Yeah. But yeah.

I always thought the day we met was kind of a bigger event than the day we got married. Does she agree? i think we do kind of yeah i think of that as like the the bigger occasion than the the day we did you get her anything no i'll give it to her shortly kyle see 24 this is literally another big deal you remember the office episode where uh it's val's Valentine's Day and Roy doesn't get Pam anything. And all day, Phyllis has been getting a shower with gifts.

And a lot of the other office gals have to. Even Oscar gets a thing. And she's a little upset when he comes to pick her up that evening. And he goes, what's wrong? She's like, well, I was just expecting to get something for Valentine's Day. Ha. Wait till we get home. I'm going to give you the best sex you've ever had and she's just like some flowers would have been nice just to show you're thinking i remember in high school my girlfriend in high school i was maybe a junior or something and you know i'm 16 17 however old

you are and she was like seriously doing that chick thing it's like seriously don't get me anything don't worry about it she told me that like once and 17 year old taylor's like locked away i will never think about this again i'm not getting you anything and it comes around like a month later i should have picked up the clues that like she told me multiple times that she didn't want anything. And I kept going, yeah, I know. I know you're not getting anything. It's going to work out swimmingly.

And then she was so sad and cried. It's so stupid when you say it. She was so sad and upset. And I had to be like, I was like that autist who was like, if I can, can we open up the, you know, where are the notes? Where are the notes from that? Roll back the tape, everyone. She said this. I'm reading here the minutes of that discussion.

And you said, you know, I don't need to get you anything. I know, but I didn't mean that. It's like, then you shouldn't be dating someone like me. Because I thought that i was safe i remember even talking to like a guy friend of mine who you know was like lunch high school being like yeah i'm not getting her anything and he's like yeah dude yeah that's pretty dumb yeah whatever and yeah it ended up being dumb but next year you know after they cry it out it's fine i want to do something next year's 25 that seems like one that should be yeah noted acknowledged that's a better word yeah is there a metal to go with that one

because i know like gold is 50 right i don't know silver 50 i mean there's no way. No one's getting to 100. There's never been a golden marriage. 25 is known as the silver. Oh. According to personalizationmall.com. Are there any shittier stones? A bronze for 10? They don't make it easy.

The 20th is platinum. the 15th is ruby the 10 is diamond wow oh i don't understand this this ranking sucks yeah no i think i'm looking at different categories there's a traditional gift a modern gift a gemstone a etc. So the traditional gift for 25 is silver. For 20 is china. For 15 is crystal. For 10 is tin. Imagine being married 10 years and getting a piece of tin. Five years is wood and one year is paper.

Give her a bunch of Campbell's soup for your 10th year anniversary. Give her year one just to print her paper. 50th is gold. 50th is the. Year one. Just a printer paper. 50th is the gold. Wow. Some very shrewd guy divorces his wife 49, then immediately remarries. Well, we never quite

made it to 50. The way I see it, you stop and you start something. It begins again. You know? In accounting. Here is your piece of paper, madame. It doesn't exist anymore, but the way i see it you stop and you start something it begins again you know in accounting here is your piece of paper madam yes it doesn't exist anymore but there used to be a marriage penalty in terms of taxes and uh there were people legends i would argue who got divorced every year to avoid the marriage penalty and use the taxes saved to go on a Christmas vacation. That's smart. And to pay for the divorce attorneys.

I can imagine they had it down, Pat. Just file some papers. I guess it would depend on the state, what's required for a divorce. Sure. If God's real, there's no way he's pleased with that little loophole.

It's like, you defeated the spirit of the rule just to go to finland yeah i we were talking about do you richard branson's looking for a bailout for his airline i'm in support of it what airline does he own a virgin airlineine. And so here's his deal. He's like, look, we're losing some tremendous amount of money. I forget. He's like, so we need a loan to keep this going. I will offer my private island as collateral,

and then you guys give me this money. And I love it. People sometimes get the corporate bailouts confused with gifts or grants. And I think that some in this case sometimes they are like hey this is a loan and if you keep paying your employees and don't lay anyone off you get to keep it that's a gift right oftentimes though like the gm bailouts and the troubled asset relief program the tarp bailouts those were loans and they made money they they pay it back with interest and he's not for, like when he asks for a bailout, he's asking for a loan.

And he's using this island as collateral. If I don't repay this, you guys get to keep my island. And presumably he repays this thing and they make money off it and I like it. Corporations, if they're in trouble, I don't hate the government bailing them out. Just use those very worthwhile assets as collateral in case the government doesn't get their money back that's how it should work if i were king if i were king i were king oh if i were king things would change back to the feudal system you know electricity gone think of how much better everyone's going to be when we all

have appropriate sleep schedules my first thought was you know i don't like you being king my second thought was hey what's it called again when you sleep with everyone's wife before they do prima nocta prima nocta well they might not like me being king either i am king but i'm gonna be honest i don't really fucking care so i'm gonna let the republic and Democrats continue to do their thing. I am enacting premium. And I am enacting it retroactively back to 2005. I just picture the population being like, Taylor wants to take away electricity, but Woody wants to fuck my wife.

And it's only once. And then as soon as I offer everyone electricity back if i get to fuck their wives they're like this is a pretty good trade art of the deal did you guys see this donald trump tweet uh this video no oh i have seen it you love this fucking kool-aid shit how do you not love this video? Let's watch it again. Like Obama endorsed Biden and then Trump tweets this out. Oh, Obama endorsed Biden?

Yeah. Yeah. Ready, set, play. The kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down. So I was training that watch to come back up again. They look at it. So I learned about roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap. And I love kids jumping on my lap. You love it.

Drinking the Kool-Aid every day. Every day. More Kool-Aid. You talked about how much you like John Oliver and Chris Cuomo and all the people who just over the top hate him. That's not true. This is no more Kool-Aid-y than the John Oliver show. You cannot compare this to Chris Cuomo.

Finger in their eyes. And John Oliver, I have not said I love him. Chris Cuomo spent most of yesterday lying. I said that I get frustrated by John Oliver with his one-sided deliveries. That's what I actually say. Okay. I thought you said you thought he was funny. I don't think he's funny because I see him as a Kool-Aid kind of guy,

kind of like boilerplate comedy that all those late night guys. I remember saying that, you know, fell flat without the laugh track that the whole thing like, you know, Columbia country, you know, so little about this isn't actually Columbia.

This is as they swap the maps and it didn't work without the laughter. I remember that. That's fair. But like, yeah, it's both sides have this Kool-Aid shit. And I know I hate to be the both sides's fair but like yeah it's the both sides have this kool-aid shit and i know i hate to be the both sides guy but like they both they do absurd shit all the time i'm done with what about ism uh i i'm i'm done with that argument this is funny this is funny

yeah it is funny it there's a reason it's got 15 million views in a day. This is fucking funny. It's cutting right to the heart of the issue that not just Trump supporters, but a lot of people have with Joe Biden. Joe Rogan clarified his position. He said that he would vote for Trump over Biden, and he clarified that position recently. He's like, people made that out like I was a Trump supporter. Let me just make it clear. I'd vote for Mike Tyson over Biden. I'd vote for Whoopi Goldberg over Biden. Honestly, he's more lucid and he's a better fighter, which is cool. That's, you know, I feel like he could really put some, I mean, Putin would be terrified of Mike Tyson. Yeah, Xi Jinping, i ain't playing your shit man no this is funny i love that i love the way those guys look at him like

dude really what the hell is biden the best man it's just crazy how bad the democrats are fucking this up it's like they biden's even if he got like was really successful and got elected like there's yeah are they just going in with the assumption like he's a one-termer and then they're going to try and hand it off to the they have to can you imagine how insane he's going to be in four years and 10 months he's already losing it i his vp picks in an interesting spot typically after someone's second term they're not popular anymore. I can't think of a president that ended their second term on much of a high note. People kind of like Obama in retrospect, but his star was fading.

Bush was absolutely hated. Even Fox News dogged on Bush. Reagan wasn't so loved. They turned that around post-presidency. Second term is ugly for every president. There won't be a second Biden term. He said he's promised to have a female vice president. I hate that.

I hate it too because he could have picked Michelle Obama as his running mate, but now he's painted himself into a corner. So funny. No, I hate that he didn't say he's picking the best candidate. He said he's picking a girl. And I'm like, so can you at least fucking pretend that the best candidate was a woman and not you just pick the best among the women? Like, that was my frustration.

It's just a pander fest. Yeah. That's all that it is. It's embarrassing. Yeah. It's like, why can't a woman be president? It's like, I mean, they didn't a woman be president it's like that's not i mean they didn't seem to be very popular among everybody who was voting so that might be a good

reason you know warren was like just a foil to like siphon away more establishment enjoying uh potential bernie supporters like and she was the most popular of them kamala harris was very hateable from day one it's like oh you oh, you're like, you are kind of black, I guess, but you still seem like you're doing that Hillary Clinton thing where you're like, I keep hot sauce in my pocket and I keep security close when speaking to people like you. And it's like, you think that's working with me? Is it? Remember that embarrassing clip? Oh, yeah. and kamala somehow seemed to be just as embarrassing so yeah she no not just as embarrassing as just as unlikable but not just not elizabeth warren i despise elizabeth warren i didn't see why elizabeth warren was so unlikable kamala i

never warmed up to and i wouldn't be surprised if she was the VP pick. You should find some of those montages on YouTube of Warren and see some of the dog shit crazy nonsense that she has spouted before. Yeah, I think she's kind of faded a bit. She's so liberal. She's so far left. I think she's more left than Bernie. It's nuts. I don't know.

Maybe not economically, but socially all right she's ridiculous i mean bernie was only like a big left-leaning socially guy on things like immigration like in the last 10 years because i mean he's not a democrat no he's an independent yeah wait bernie changed his position in the last 10 years democratic socialist well and stuff like immigration like he he used He used to do the more tenable position where it's like, we are the racist country in the world. We can afford health care for all.

We just need to lower immigration and make sure the borders are sealed. Take care of that kind of more. Because it's like left-wing populism. And then now, it's like, all that same stuff, don't watch old speeches. We can do it with more open borders as well and high levels of immigration. Trump locked the borders down.

It obviously doesn't work. Did you see that? Why haven't we done this before? There's a global pandemic. Well, he stopped all immigration. Yeah. Yeah, we have a global pandemic. You want me to stay at home?

Not just travel. We're bringing people in the country. There's a difference between travel and immigration. Travel's already been stopped. He stopped all immigration. No one is coming in. Yeah, good. We've got to get this shit under control.

Well, I mean, if you want to get things under control, maybe tell the governor of Georgia that we're not quite done yet. Yeah. You've seen the protesters, right? Process protesting to like liberate their States and free them at like, like just screaming in the streets.

I don't care what the protest is to be still about immigration. I wonder if the protesters are like, you know what? I've got to get my haircut and we should stop immigration. Like I will. All right, Karen. Right. That's what they are. All right, Karen. Right?

That's what they are. It's the Karens out protesting, playing both sides of the coin. Yeah, pretty much. You can be empathetic to people, because there is this steely, cold take you're getting from some people that are inevitably multimillionaire blue checks

on Twitter who are actors, comedians, whatever, being like, stay the fuck home, idiot. Do you not know how dangerous this is? You fucking retard. Every commercial on YouTube is bad. Stay home. And it's like, dude, you're worth $30 million. You're sitting on piles of money. You don't have an actual worry. Some dude who was working paycheck to paycheck with two kids who was some non-essential worker and now he can't work yeah he does need to stay home in the end as much as he can to try and keep it down but like these people don't have

the option like i do empathize a lot with the people who are saying like we do have to kind of try and open this up some you can you can acknowledge both of those without being like a full force retard on one side where you know i don't know it's just like a virtue signaling thing where it's like oh really petten os Patton Oswalt? Really? Like you're the guy to call? Migrant workers pick most of our crops, especially in Southern California. Oh, no. Are we going to have to hire citizens and pay them higher wages? Oh, dear. See if you could find some citizens who want a job. Really, they did

it up until the 60s when we had a bunch of workers who had worked for us. Are we going back to 1950s work ethic for everyone? We should. Like, high levels of immigration have done nothing but increase GDP all in the top 1%. It hasn't helped day-to-day people at all. It only suppresses wages. This is known. Well, let's adjust the wages according to inflation since 1950.

And I'm sure everybody will be out there picking oranges for $25 an hour. Well, if we didn't allow a bunch of low cost immigration, that's what we'd be doing right now. Also, we'd have to stop any oranges from coming in from any other country on the planet. No, you wouldn't. You'd have to tariff them. Oh, so this is really coming down to just a nation state now, just on an island. I think you're going to have to have some kind of global economy

because they're going to start tariffing. Who's winning our relationship between us and China right now? Well, we have more relationships than just us and China, right? I'm just using a simple example. The fact that they've been blasting us in the ass,

as Mac would say, with tariffs for decades and we've just been sitting over here like who will we lose we lose every relationship we're in because of free trade but we don't we love the free market like no how about we have a little bit of economic protectionism for the people living in our country it's not fair you know what i think would actually happen just look i don't know shit about farms but i think that if we didn't have cheap labor, we'd get more automation. And that's how the American farmers would stay competitive.

I think that there are some jobs that... So I think that would crush all the small farmers. And I think you would end up with big commercial operations that could afford the multi-million dollar pieces of equipment plus upkeep to uh to operate and do those things and i think that there are and i couldn't name them off the top of my head but i know i've heard in the past that there are some jobs that a machine just doesn't do right like i don't remember what it was like maybe it's grapes or something like like there's no machine that could pick a grape without fucking it up and you know we need javier out there fucking gently caressing these grapes off the tree yeah there's certain things that you need a person to go do so i hear that argument they said that about sewing and i was like sewing why but i guess

fabric manipulation and making sure it's not folded and you know the right amount of tension it's just a thing that humans do really well but fast forward a little bit and machines do it really well too yeah i think they're really it was like what the there isn't an impetus because the planet has a ton of really inexpensive seamstresses so they didn't automate sewing raise the prices on those women typically women and all of a sudden they automate sewing i i know kyle the grape thing was just a hypothetical, but I have this idea that the software and the lasers or whatever electronic eyes it takes to pick a grape. Well, we'll get invented if grape picking gets a little more expensive. Yeah. I don't remember what crops that there are certain crops for sure that they're like,

uh, we don't, there's not a machine that exists that does this uh well there is his name is paco and he works for a dollar fifty an hour yeah plus all the grapes he wants that's included in the benefit column i like the idea that there are no grapes included and this guy's just swimming in grapes and can't have one. Oh, my wife, I must tell you the job I secured today for us. Dude, grapes have become my pandemic snack. Jorge, you've taken six shits today. No more grapes. I've been eating grapes all the time. I love grapes.

They're a tasty snack. They're probably just little sugar cubes, but in my mind anyway, I think of them as a healthy snack. And one day on stream, I went downstairs to get grapes because I thought I had seen them in the dark. And I come down and the package that I thought was grapes were actually cherry tomatoes. But my wife had just made milk and cookies. So I came back with those. My stream fat shamed me hard.

It's just like hundreds of people. Give those push-ups what he worked this shit off i promise there were no grapes oh there were grapes they were in the other house they didn't like that excuse at all like oh no that's not a that's not that's like the that's not a good way to win over the public. No. It was in my other stage. Yeah. I asked my wife about the grapes. She said they were in the guest house. I'm live streaming, right?

I don't want to put shoes on. We have a gravel driveway that leads to the other house. I'd be gone for five minutes, maybe, if you'd let. Okay, so. Go ahead. Tomatoes, for sure, have to be harvested by hand because they get bruised and nobody will buy a bruised tomato and a bunch of the berries apparently also

for similar reasons for the way that they pull away from the plant you have to like snap the stem or something on each cluster vanilla saffron cacao and a bunch of other...

There's just some stuff that... Saffron's so expensive. Have you ever seen that at the store? Where it's like a little tiny... It's a spice. A little sprig of it. It's these little hairs in there. It looks like you shaved your beard and threw a pinch of it in a bottle and it's $8.

It does not look expensive. She goes to a spice shop. She has a spice guy and he recommends spices to her. And she comes back with like this much stuff, right? Less than half a human head worth of things. And it's like $500.

And I was just like, oh my god. Jesus. Jesus. I could have plain George Foreman chicken and keep the $500 I'm over here with a broken iPhone yeah most spices are $2 or $3 an ounce if you want the finest.18 ounces of saffron

that's going to cost you $27 yeah and that is for that's it on the bottom though those little red strands yeah I'm trying to remember it goes on Indian food right yeah That's it on the bottom, though, those little red strands. Yeah. I'm trying to remember. It goes on Indian food, right?

Yeah. I know I've used it before, and I would guess it was when I was making Indian food. So you need a lot of weird spices, garam masala, cardamom pods. There's a lot of stuff that goes into Indian food that is kind of foreign to us. A lot of different kinds of chilies. Indian food. I can't do too often. Why?

I don't know. It's just, it's not one of the foods I like a lot. Like Chinese food, Japanese food. I can, I can do that every day. You like vindaloo? I do like that. Yeah, it's good. Vindaloo is really easy.

It's, you know, it's vinegar based instead of cream based. So easy. It's vinegar-based instead of cream-based, so it's a little better for you too. Every once in a while, I get Indian food at a restaurant, and it's all so caloric. Like, you know, chicken just drowning in some sort of butter sauce that you use the, I think it's non-bread, but use some sort of like, use a carb as a shovel to get the butter sauce chicken into your mouth

and have some rice with that. And at the end, you're just like, I know I had 2,000 calories that day. You can do tikka masala. You can do a pretty healthy tikka masala. It's just crushed tomatoes. And instead of cream or half and half, you use 1% milk and Greek yogurt. And you can do pretty well with that. And then you can do like cauliflower rice with it.

I'm sure you're right. I've only had then you can do like cauliflower rice with it. I'm sure you've heard that exact same thing without the cauliflower rice. And restaurant food, they're not working on healthy. They're not trying to keep the calories down. We'll all just agree to ignore calories for this meal. It's a restaurant. It's going to be salty. It's going to be buttery.

It's going to be bad for you. Not as buttery. In India, they don't use butter. They use ghee, which is clarified butter. And that's going to be bad for you. Not as buttery. In India, they don't use butter. They use ghee, which is clarified butter. That's when you heat up the butter and you separate the milk fat from the actual butter. Then they use this yellow

gold called ghee to cook everything in. It's crazy caloric. Authentic Indian food is ridiculous. But you don't leave hungry. You know what? I'm saying authentic Indian food, but the vindaloo is ridiculous. Yeah. But you don't leave hungry. You know what? I'm saying authentic Indian food, but the vindaloo is authentic and it's not high calories because it's

vinegar based. It's like vinegar and tomato sauce and I don't remember the rest. And like any meat you want. But tikka masala is not an Indian dish. It is a Britishized and not Americanized, a Britishized Indian dish. The Br a Britishized, not Americanized, a Britishized Indian dish.

The Brits were like, how can we make this horrible for you? And they did, and they made tikka masala. I don't know the names of the Indian foods I buy. I just go to the buffet, and I'm like,

huh, we got some brown mush, some red mush, orange mush, that looks good. Have some orange mush over rice, and give me a na or two let's go i like the i like the vindaloo that's my favorite i get vindaloo and i order it indian hot i like they've got like mild medium hot and indian hot and it's just like indian hot i have tears

pouring down my face the whole time i have have to blow my nose three times. Yeah, you're leaving that restaurant just breathing so well. I always appreciate restaurants that are like, I want it spicy. Okay, white boy, I'll try not to hurt you. Usually I appreciate their judgment. Yeah, I always want it real spicy. I love that feeling too, the nose clearing out. Yeah. I can get that i'm sorry

if anybody who's listening to this is near um what's that place called peach tree city in atlanta there's a place there called uh there's an indian place there called um i'm gonna look it up since i've already done this it's a peach tree city indian it's the best indian i've ever had in my life it's called star of india it's super duper authentic they've been in business for many many years it's incredible it's incredible if if you if you're within an hour it's worth the drive and everyone in there do you go there or um no i used to live i lived there for um maybe three months um when uh like when we first moved out here before uh kitty bought her next house we stayed at a place in peach tree city and they had like a local delivery there was no postmates no door dash none of that but they had

like peach tree city delivery service and it was just some guys there in Peachtree City who like had a website and you could just order straight through them, which I actually like because you get to know the delivery driver. It's the same guy every time. And and we would have that Indian food delivered maybe once a week. It's incredible. So good. Want dinner right now. I can smell dinner right now. One of those hello fresh meals.

She's whipping up. I think think is that garlic garlic chicken it's like a blue apron oh yeah yeah i think some like garlic butter chicken and roasted sweet potatoes and some kind of veggie i don't know i've been on a salmon kick been there i've been making that crispy skin salmon. I was going to say Taylor's playing house because that's what I called it at like 20. But Taylor's a grown-up. He's just at a house. Yeah. I mean, I am paying for it.

When I was 20 and Jackie was over cooking for me, I felt like we were pretending to be adults. And I'm like, yeah yeah that's what taylor's doing now but actually an adult i'm an adult i just come in here in the morning and i'm like man i can't wait to pretend to be on calls all day and have fun meetings well no i like man i get to play on excel like real grown-ups do i mean i had like an apartment and a like grown-ups job and stuff but somehow it didn't feel like a grown-up yet you know why because there's a point when you're that young when you're like you know i could just say no i could just walk away from everything in my

life right now and what what would happen yeah what happened there was a comedian it might have been chappelle chappelle was talking about how people got divorced in the 50s. He's like, in the 50s, you just left. You want to start over? Fuck it. Hey, honey, I'm going out to get cigarettes. There was no internet. You could move 11 miles away and just start all over.

I've just never seen anything. Oh, man. What year is it? 1953? I'll take this new house for $6,500. Here's three grand down and I'll sign on the 15 year plan. Alright.

You guys are kind of assholes going 11 miles away. Good luck. Just start over. That's how it is when you're 20 too, unless you've really made some mistakes. Because you've really fucked your life up if by 20 you're like well I'm locked in this is it.

That would be funny. Student loans. Yeah student loans really fuck yeah. You gotta go to another country to get out in front of that shit. I wonder if that works. Or get Bernie Sanders elected. That would do it. He's not letting that happen.

You'd have to elect a whole bunch of other Bernies with him. Did you see the meme of him running for president 2024 and he's got an eye patch and he's all scarred up and he looks super post-apocalyptic Bernie Sanders? Yeah, he's not making it to 2024.

Neither is Biden. Oh, this is a good bet. This is a good bet and it's long term. Who dies first, Biden or Bernie. Neither is Biden. Oh, this is a good bet. This is a good bet, and it's long-term. Who dies first, Biden or Bernie? Ooh, Biden. Bernie. Okay. I'm still high on my recent

death count victory. Who went Bernie? Kyle, you went Bernie? Who dies first? I think the order is Biden, Trump, Bernie. No. Biden, Bernie, Trump. Because I'm mostly just got to do it by age. But Biden seems way more mentally than Bernie.

It's not the mental part. The way that Trump dies is a sudden heart failure. Trump has Wendy's and Burger King coursing through his veins. And he will just be dead one day. Or does he want us to believe that? Maybe he wants us to believe that because it makes him more personable. Who, Trump for being fat?

Yeah. Well, no. Oh, you think he's pretending to be fat? No. For eating Wendy's and eating taco stuff like that, you mean. I'm the greatest character actor ever and he like ripped off a big fake like bodice and he does a mac like transformation people post where he's in in like a thong flexing and each of his abs is another part

of the of the liberal media that he's defeated or something like that right he's got one of those action figure bodies where it's like 35 abs somehow stacked you know and it would be guaranteed he there's a trip where he falls out of his fat suit and his enormous cock flops out there are 65 stories going on every news station and every article fucking being written is like how actually big dicks are bad and uh toxic masculinity is horrible and then you'd get like fucking chris cuomo or you know or not you know who's his brother andrew cuomo or uh bernie bernie's been like frankly that is far too much cock for one man it should be redistributed take a look at this cock of Very socialist. A very socialistic.

But yeah, Biden's fading in the head. Bernie seems mostly fine to me. And Trump is just tremendously unfit and 125 pounds overweight. Yeah, so the way I see it is Biden isn't going to die of dementia in the next four years, but Bernie could easily die of a heart attack in the next few years. How old is easily die of a heart attack in the next few years.

How old is Bernie? They're all about the same age, 72, 74, somewhere in there. In my mind, 72 and 76 are actually really different. Bernie Sanders is 78. That might change things, because I don't think many people go into their 80s. How much money are we putting on this? Let's just go 70 trump is 73 biden 77 uh bernie 78 now like you were saying woody at that age 73 to 78 that's a jump it is i think i believe it is yeah you know like mccain looked really healthy

right mccain was a healthy guy and then what in 18 months he just went from a really vibrant old dude to a dead guy fucking crypt keeper he was ghoulish by the end there yeah because he just he got cancer and it that ends it and that's what that's how death happens in old age right like you know when my mother-in-law moved in with us. She was like 75, something like that. And she hadn't lost a beat mentally. She was just like she was at 40 when I met her. And then, you know, like, she lost a beat at the end. So you're still sticking with Biden?

Me, first one to die? Taylor, I was asking, actually. I will, so we're different. But now that I see that Bernie's the oldest, I would switch to Bernie. I don't know, though. Biden's... Okay, that's fair. I won't ask you to put money on it then, since you didn't realize that he was so much older.

Well, whatever. We'll do a double or nothing for the coronavirus death bet from five weeks ago. There was no bet, so... I know. So we're going to double that. Two times zero equals. Fun for me.

All right. But I do get to gloat twice. Chiz will pay out on my behalf an amount of your choosing. I will take his car. And it is. So be it. He has a nice car, right?

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. You guys want to wrap? I'm smelling my food and I'm getting hungry. Yeah, I got to piss real deep into it. All right, PKN 296.