Painkiller Already - PKN #299

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

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He can't end 299, almost 300 with Kyle and Private Taylor. How are things? It's flight lieutenant. Taylor, you had more hair when I exited your stream. Yes. So everybody. So I did a. Basically, I was going to cut my hair with the only clippers I had at the house, but they were the dog clippers. And I didn't want to get lice or anything or fleas or whatever they have if they had them.

It was illogical of me because they don't have those things. But I told my girlfriend she was out and about. I'm like, hey, pick me up some clippers because I'm going to cut my hair on stream. And she's like, OK. And she brought me back. So we're here. It's just a Remington beard trimmer. She doesn't even.

She got those special for the task i thought you had them around no i told her get me some clippers and she brought back a beard trimmer and i told her before i'm like you bitch what the fuck you need alternating current to do that sort of thing really and see the problem with this is there's no level like it doesn't have a number one and number two it just has millimeter lengths and this is not a very expensive one and so as i was trying to set it it would slip into different settings and so at one point like i had my hair side of my head wasn't that long because the goal wasn't to shave my head i'm like i'm gonna give myself a really a really good haircut and it

started out not great but it and it got worse and so I went all around my head and I was like pretty pleased with the sides. And then I was going over and I, yeah, they were, they were, they weren't bad. And then I was, I started going over the sides again to try and get stragglers and it slipped into a lower setting. And so I had to go over the entire thing again. And the back of my head was terrible. Still is. I purposefully haven't done anything. Oh, I did take a Clippers that I found under my sink that had only a number four thing so I just went over my entire head with a number four to get

all the stragglers off even though the rest of it's much shorter than the four but at one point Kyle I was feeling ballsy and so I was like I'm going to tighten up my neckline and so I took the guard off and just blindly started doing that and I purposely haven't had my girlfriend touch up the back other than what I did.

You can see a big old divot that I took out. Oh, shit. You know, Taylor, you're going to have to be a lot more careful about some of the racially insensitive jokes you make on the show. See, then, well, this is, you're right. This is, I didn't consider that angle. Okay. You just, that haircut is costing you 20, 30% of your jokes.

Oh, shit. Fuck. Well, I have to let it grow out. But I had it, I had the hair on top long for a while. And I was doing, like, pulling with my fingers and snipping. Almost cut my knuckle skin off 15 times. Because it's very difficult to do in a webcam on Twitch when a bunch of people are calling you fat and ugly and,

uh, you know, fat head and all that. Uh, overall though, one of my biggest streams in a while. Um, very,

very good reception. I had like a thousand people in there at one point watching me make an ass of myself. And there's a very good clip over on, on Woody's channel that i would like us to watch because it's just you know what he's what he's unbelievably just loving it laugh y'all i'll link it up yeah and you can see how bad my hair was this is mid haircut this is mid so oh god all right i'm there um hold on i need a moment to like queue up and frame it and

it wasn't going that bad it ended up i think i look fine here too i look like a military man hairline's definitely not as good as it was last time i had my hair this short that's okay all right are we ready? I'm ready. Ready, set, play. It looks good like that. It's the side. You should have stayed right there. Right there, you think so? It was killing me, man.

You had to watch it unfold. It was a great dream. Oh, thank you, yeah. Taylor Merkle on Twitch for any of you bastards who aren't hanging out yet. I think you should have left it like that. Just like, trim it on the sides and give yourself something to do with the top.

When I cut off, I thought that he was just, you know, a little trimmed it on the sides and give yourself something to do with the top i cut off i thought that he was just you know a little girlfriend love on the back away from having a decent haircut i was like all right the back is messed up but when i left the top was long enough to do something with and the sides were kind of straight the back was longer than the sides which was hilarious he had this like really wide chuck liddell mohawk thing happening. And it was funny. Well, I woke up the next morning and went in there in the bathroom. I just started laughing at myself because I went way too high on the sides. And so there was just a muffin top of hair sitting atop my head, like a reverse fryer cut.

That was great because he did a really good job doing the sides, and it kind of faded into the top. And then he just kept going and going and going. And there's this technique. I guess everyone's watched the same YouTube video where you kind of like shave the sides and roll off the top. And that's how you do a fade. You roll off.

And he's just like sometimes he's rolling, sometimes he's rolling. But all you have to do is not roll a couple of times. And all your rolling is gone. You can't put it back on. And he's like, I'm rolling, I'm rolling. And I'm like, you're not. You're not rolling. He stopped rolling.

No, I wasn't. You know, the big mistake was taking advice from the chat. And so when they would say, just a little more off the top, all right, I guess. Oh yeah. And I, I didn't think through, I have spray bottles in my kitchen that I was like,

I'm going to, I'm going to fill that with water so I can spritz myself a little bit. I'm going to get a hairdryer. And in the end, all I had was just a glass full of water that I would lean over and dump on my head and get it a little bit wet. You're like, all right,

I need to get my hair wet to manage it. And I picturing the spray bottle like every barber i've ever seen has done pours a glass of water on his hand i wanted my hair real wet though yeah yeah that's what it is it's a content engine that's what i'm doing now my my chat sometimes accused me of stealing your viewers but that wasn't in my heart at all i i thought that it was a bigger event yeah okay i was like i hope taylor doesn't have the same thought as these social media newbies who don't understand that it's a bigger event like you took over two categories with that stream nearly yeah no i i did i did not give a shit at all it was funny people were like check out woody stream check out woody's and i didn't click on it for the longest time and i click over on woody's stream and I just see my fat head and Woody laughing at me.

Taylor couldn't see his back. Cause the delay wasn't long enough. I'm like, watch me, watch you. You'll get like six seconds. You know, you can see your back.

I had somebody tell me like, if you turn around and turn around real quick, you'll be fast enough to see it. And so I was like, Twitch is a ton of fun. I'm having a blast on there yeah i'm gonna play some uh i'd never played grand theft auto 5 in my life and it's still that came out in 2013 that's like the third biggest game on twitch right now that's unbelievable and so i downloaded that to play the story mode because everybody's saying it's a it's just a blast have you played they keep updating it and the uh the the online multiplayer is uh is very popular is your

mic in the best spot i feel like you're quieter than normal and i've got you cranked up i could do some adjusting i could turn my gain up maybe yeah would you one two three four five six seven that's better yeah you sure you're happy with this not i am well i'll tell you if i change my mind all right i got a feeling in the recording I'm going to be booming. Oh no, I don't think so. No, you were quiet. Okay, good. Sorry about that.

Excuse me. I PayPal'd you your $5. Did I send it to the right PayPal? I don't know. What did you send it to? It's like Matt. That's one of them. That's one of them. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's one of them. Thank you. Wouldn't want anyone else sitting in any money.

Better keep them down. Right? I don't know why. I try to protect privacy things. Yeah, that was... I don't think any of those fights the other night went the way I wanted them to go. Michelle Watterson lost. Cowboy lost.

Every great event. Oh, I mean, Nganou, like, killed that man. That man's dead now. So I was happy to see that. But, like, I don't think any of the fights went the way I actually wanted them to, other than the Nganou fight. But I don't really care if Nganou wins. I just like to see him smash people.

What was the big fight you guys were wagering on? Tony Ferguson versus Justin Gaethje. I'll pull up a highlight so I know. well it's 25 minutes of highlight oh who who won gaethje justin gaethje won uh both american dudes tony ferguson you might remember he's the one who's literally crazy clawing at the walls to get at the voices and stuff um watching them fight I like them both a lot Gaethje swings for the fences Ferguson does all this creative elbow weirdness stuff

he does moves that are out of movies and things sweeping the leg they're both very fun guys to watch he did Bruce Lee and Karate Kid moves he literally pretended to pick up sand and throw it at Justin Gaethje during the fight and the coaches called for it they're like give me sand He literally pretended to pick up sand and throw it at Justin Gaethje during the fight. Fucking sand. Fucking sand.

And the coaches called for it. They're like, give me sand. Give me sand. And he reaches down and pretends to throw sand at him. Give him the dribble. I'm like, your coaches are insane too. What the fuck? There's a YouTube video where it shows the comparison between Gaethje's coaching and Ferguson's coaching.

It's night and day. I noticed it during the fight too. Yeah. Gaethje's coaching. You're looking beautiful,je's you're looking beautiful tony you're looking beautiful it's like how high are you how high are you eddie are you stoned out of your mind there's a defense i'm sorry you're still going but the so justin gaethje's main coach who was giving him serious advice was mic'd up and then on ferguson's side his main coach

wasn't mic'd up instead eddie bravo his grappling, his main coach wasn't mic'd up. Instead, Eddie Bravo, his grappling coach, was mic'd up. So it might be that his main coach was giving better advice than I'm aware of. I'd like to imagine that if we'd heard Tony's coach, it would be even worse. He's just like, you've got to center your chi. I haven't seen one Hadouken out

of you. What's going on? That's the guy in your walls. Get him, Tony. That would have been a good one that's him he's got your son he just comes sprinting across the cage give me my son justin gaethje's like what i feel like i'm still getting to know justin gaethje right on one time justin gaethje wins the interim championship of the world, right? On one hand, I meant to say. And

he gets up there and he's like, just be nice to each other. Really, this fighting stuff, I'm in the cage on one guy, but I'm not a fighter outside the cage. I have a degree. People don't know that. It's in social work. If I wasn't doing this, I'd be helping people. I'm like, oh, that's really sweet. I kind of like this guy. On the other hand,

he's like, fuck you, Conor McGregor. I don't think you're a very good dad and i don't think you're a very good husband it's like oh shit he's probably not making those tweets though the thing about like who knows who's running everybody's twitter accounts yeah i know could be a pr firm yeah i know gsp intention like he's he's not secretive about it at all he's like oh yeah by twitter that's not me that's i haven't yeah yeah so uh um yeah it was it was interesting uh that's first fight tony's lost in 12 years um holy shit yeah 12 years or 12 fights i think it's both maybe i'm not sure i thought it was 12 years i know it goes back like they're like the last time tony ferguson lost a fight and then they list all these things that are like you're like holy shit really it's like the last time tony ferguson lost a fight women didn't even fight in the ufc yeah fuck yeah the last time he fought and lost was against

michael johnson may 5th 2012 okay eight years eight years that's still that's 12 fights it's a retarded amount of time to not yeah it you know he looked slow he didn't look like himself i and uh i've heard i heard dana say this but i was already thinking that maybe cutting down to 155 twice in a fucking month maybe affected him 36 though like wait how old was the other guy 30 oh i don't know how old gage is oh 31 verse 36 that's five big years for being in combat sports. But he didn't look as good as he looked last year. Like he didn't look like himself. He looks slow in comparison to Gaethje, who I don't think of as a lightning quick guy.

Now he's definitely fast. I mean, he's a fucking professional fighter and probably on the upper end of quickness as professional fighters go. But I don't think of him as like a Bruce Lee, like hit you three times before he can do anything kind of guy. And that's what he was against Ferguson. Yeah. Hey Kyle, can you go even louder? I promise you, you're not over booming. No one's going to say, okay, let me look at my settings. Yeah. I have you turned up in discord. I'm giving her all she's

got Scotty. Um, uh, what was I going to say? Yeah, yeah, Gaethje looked fast. He hit so hard. Even his coach was like, hey, take off 10%. You're trying to kill him. That was the advice he got between rounds. He's right, though. You can exhaust yourself. I don't know if you got.

All right, how is this? Let me do a quick test. Test a roo here. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. Let's ride with this a little longer and see what we think. Okay. I'll pull this closer as well. It's unusual. I don't know what the issue

is. Yeah, you sound plenty very loud to me. I'm turning him a little down in Discord. I had him cranked up to 200%, but now that he's giving me extra, I can take 10% off. I disabled Discord's automatic gain control

because that seemed like a silly thing to me. I think maybe that's what's affected what's going on. I turned it back on just a moment ago, so we're back in normal. Gotcha. I've still got extra gain that I normally don't do. Great night of fights. I didn't feel ripped off for my $65

I paid for it and felt good about it too yeah, looked great on the TV great to see sports happening again empty arena, you could hear the fighters breathing which was really cool you could hear the coaches, you could hear every pop pop pop when a blow landed

would you rather not go back to the old way and have it stay like this? Personally, I would, but I know a lot of the fighters need that energy. I know Conor McGregor's like, I want a crowd going insane. Am I crazy? Did he say the opposite? Did he say that people would hear how hard I hit you or something like that? What I read was that he wanted a crowd. And I mean, nobody gets a better crowd reaction than him, I would say.

Like when he's there, he's got all those Irish fans going crazy, singing those chants. Yeah, the crowd makes it a little more special, and it makes me feel hyped, right? Their energy brings out my energy. It was neat as a change to have silent fights. I wouldn't be against silent fights again. That's what I'm calling a no crowd event.

But there's something about these enormous crowds. wouldn't be against silent fights again. That's what I'm calling a no crowd event. But, uh, there's something about these enormous crowds, you know, Madison square garden going bonkers. And the, the, um, when the fighters walk to the Octagon, I didn't realize that I, how much I like that, you know, the music playing the crowd going nuts, the high fives on the way in some fighters are kind of nervous and keeping to themselves. Some guys are feeding, the crowd going nuts, the high fives on the way in. Some fighters are kind of nervous keeping to themselves. Some guys are feeding off the crowd energy. When there's no crowd, it's really just a person getting from the locker room

to the octagon with no fanfare. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see if the other sports go without crowds. I'd like to watch an NFL game with no fucking crowd and hear those hits. Yeah, that'd be cool. like I'd like to watch an NFL game with no fucking crowd and hear those hits. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be cool.

Or here, like the, um, the, maybe you can overhear the huddle a little bit better. Maybe you can hear the quarterback giving, um, like,

like, uh, audibles better. Like you, they're already mic'd up in many cases. So you, it's nothing I've never heard before, but I'd like to hear it on every play from both sides and especially the big

hits. I want to hear that. I want to hear them crunch. I didn't think of that. And I think I want to hear that. I want to hear a crunch. I didn't think of that. And I think I want to hear the CTE on on basketball, which is what I paid more attention to lately.

I think it will do poorly without a crowd. I feel like so quiet week of the sneakers and the dribble of the ball doesn't doesn't do it for me. That squeak is going to get annoying quickly, I would imagine.

Even playing basketball when I played in middle school, it was like, this is an annoying sound. Baseball's already pretty quiet. I don't think you're going to get any extra. They already do hand signals and all that instead of... You can just yell now. Steal!

Hit it as hard as you can! I always could have yelled. It's about hiding it from the other team. I was just being silly. It's going to be different this year. Before we totally leave it, Ferguson versus Khabib, not likely to happen. You can get a perfect storm

where it does happen. If they do Khabib versus Gaethje, Khabib wins, and then they do Conor versus Tony, Tony wins, then you get Khabib-Ferguson. But I don't think that that's going to happen. Even that. So Conor talks a big game, but he's had one fight since 2016.

And I worry that with him in the mix, 155 happens slowly, right? he just doesn't fight that often and uh even khabib i like khabib but he's had one fight well not since 2016 but he's had one fight since connor and uh with with ramadan in there and connor always negotiating for 10 15 million dollars then the meeting like three months of media events and shit to create it. I worry that Tony's going to be 38-39 years old

before that chance rolls around. Oh well. I think Khabib would have beaten Tony anyway. I do too. I think Justin Gaethje's a rougher matchup for Khabib. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I think, I think Gaethje has got the best shot against Khabib out of anyone at 155. I know people, some people are done with this. But Gaethje has really good wrestling. And I feel like to defend something, you don't have to be as good at it to make it happen. Right.

Yeah. You can be a level six wrestler and defend a level nine wrestler. Perfect. Yeah. Well said. So, uh, and I,

and I think that Khabib's wrestling is, is good enough. I can't get past my hair. I think I've got the more plates, more dates hairdo cooking right here. Is it just me? I got, you've got the,

uh, there's something about Mary hairdo. I see it. Yeah. Is that hair gel? Oh yeah. I, I, I yeah i might just keep this going this might be my method of staying taller than colin i'll just keep it going four five and six inches by the end i'll be march simpson yeah you're gonna be one of those Hunger Games people. Yeah, that's the... Damn! I lost my hair height.

I'm going to have to regrow that. Fuck. You got this, Samson. Thank you. Get yourself a top hat. It's fashionable. Top hat that I can wear over my headphones. Perfect. Cut some holes in it. Loop it through.

I've been watching 60 days in, man. That is a rough fucking show. I watched the, I'm watching the one right now. That's a Fulton County, Atlanta. And,

uh, that's the jail that I'm, there was a chance that I was going to be put into. And, uh, they were like, all right, we don't know where we're putting you.

It's either halfway house. I was like, yes, please. Yes, please. Cause you just spend the night there and then go back home during the day and do, do whatever you want. I could have been here uh halfway house fulton county jail or the prison i went to and uh i in in order i was like halfway house prison jail

and in in the order that i would i preferred them because as soon as we walked outside the courthouse i was discussing this with my lawyer i was like can you get can you like try to get me into that halfway house he's like yeah i'm gonna do my best i was i was like what's that jail like he's like you don't want to go to that jail we're gonna keep you out of that jail no matter what i'm i'm gonna do my damnedest to keep you out of that jail and i'm just like fuck all right i had no idea really he's like yeah yeah gotta keep you out and i'm watching it right now i'm so glad he kept me out oh really it's it's it there's gangs in there operating the bloods are in there and for enforcing their their rules you know they're it's scary in there i met up it's a rough show i mean i talked with Chiz today for an hour or something. One of the things we talk about

is potential guests. I'd like to get well, you mentioned Wes Watson. He's actually made a couple efforts to get, I think his name is Lockdown 23 and 1, the one that I have been watching before Wes Watson. Guests are harder to schedule than people know.

He got in touch with them and they all scheduled. Then he got ghosted and then the guy reached out to us. schedule than people know. Like, you know, he got in touch with him, and they were all scheduled, and he got, like, ghosted, and then the guy reached out to us, and then, like, it just, I don't know. Guests are harder to book than you might guess. But anyway, I kind of want to have one of these prison veterans on the show

to hear about their experience. And Taylor and Kyle may have their own thoughts on it, but for me, it's about the social aspect of surviving the rules, the putting in work. How do you exist outside the game? Uh, I don't want to play the game. It depends what level you're at.

And according to Wes Watson, he, you know, and like the level two yard, you could be out of the game, but he's like in the level four, he's like, everybody jumped off one day and the blacks was going at the whites and the the level two yard, you could be out of the game. But he's like, in the level four, he's like,

everybody jumped off one day. And the blacks was going at the whites, and the homies were with us. And there was this old man with a cane, and he thought he could not jump. Oh, I saw another guy come up to him later. You not jumping in, old man man you think you're immune and it's like fuck fuck you got to get in there with that cane that is the question yeah here i thought that i was that i had a shot at being aged out yeah because um 23 and one i don't remember if he said over 40 or over 50 they kind of let them exist outside and i'm like well shit i've got one of those and i'm nearly the other i could maybe i could just not be a player but no i i think the more i think the more hardcore it is the the the the more all-inclusive that uh being part of the game gets all right well i hope we get one of them on the show i yeah wes watson in particular

i really like his intensity he's so fucking fired up all the time just just yeah so fucking i wonder if he can maintain that intensity for more than a 15 minute video like like are we gonna be three hours in and he's still just like this bitch made shit this bitch made shit i This bitch made shit. Well, I mean, he made shit for what? 20 years. 10. 10 years. I'm sorry. I'm talking over you.

I want to see, if people haven't seen Wes Watson videos, check one out, and you'll see 15 minutes of inspirational yelling, right? I wonder if we got him in long form. Maybe he's on the show for two hours or something. If we'd see another side of him. He can't just be yelling all the time, right? He has to laugh sometimes. People do that.

He's a person. I hope he's like Samuel L. Jackson from that Chappelle skit. This is how I talk! You know, we could break out some old... Samuel Jackson beer! It's good beer! Made me samuel jackson i'd like to see this guy whose entire identity seems to go around doing burpees when he doesn't want to do some relationship advice or am i the assholes and you don't see how like you know what like i think your sister-in-law had poor manners in that situation i don't know why she she proposed at your wedding that was your special

day bitch yeah so i remember he had a video where he was talking about calling his girl and a guy answered and he's been in prison for let's just call it two years or whatever he calls and a dude answers and he's like yo, you got to stop calling, man. Or there's going to be a problem. And I was like, I told him. Well, there's going to be a problem then in seven years. He's like, eventually I got over it. By the time seven more years came by, they wouldn't know problem.

I give them advice on their relationship now. I'm like, wow, this guy's great. He's so fun. Talking about seven-inch blades getting stuck up people's asses. I saw that. I've watched a lot of this guy's content now. Yeah. So they were, I think it's called turning down the cells, searching the cells.

And I guess in this level of prison, everyone is more or less mandated to have some sort of shank. Yep. So this guy had have some sort of shank. Yep. So this guy had a 7-inch shank, and the only place to hide it is your butthole. So he wasn't able to get all 7 inches up in his butthole.

Amateur. So when they searched him, he had 2 or 3 inches of shank still sticking out of his butthole. And they saw it. And they're just like, what a crazy life you guys are living. You pull it like you're starting a lawnmower. Oh! Yeah, it sounds super hardcore.

He spent 14 months in solitary. That, to me, is the most awful part of the whole thing, spending 14 months in solitary. How do you not go crazy? Clearly you do. Have you seen the videos? Okay, he's gone a little crazy. I'm with both of you guys.

The other part I wonder is he's the shot caller, right? He's been out of the game for 14 months down there in solitary. Did he come back and find someone else sitting on the top seat in the bleachers? How is that handled? Did they respectfully say, oh, I'll bend the knee and you can have your old seat back? Or maybe he was calling shots from solitary. How do you do that?

Like talking to a guard or a librarian? Passing notes and Morse code and sign language. Dirty guards. I think, Taylor, did you say that already? Yeah. Sure, maybe. I watched the movie Shot Caller the other day. It was actually pretty good. I scrolled past that on Netflix or Hulu, whatever it is,

and I didn't watch it. Maybe I'll give that a go. It's not bad. It's not bad. Well, I'm not giving anything a go until I'm done with Sopranos. Where are you right now? I just finished. Or no.

I'm where are you right now? I just finished or no. I'm almost done with the first episode of season five. I just finished last night, the season finale of season four. What I was working out today. I did some, I watched a little bit of the fifth one.

It was Johnny Sachs and Tony discussing, you know, Hey, maybe we take out Carmine. And then they worked that thing out with the housing and urban development thing. And then Tony was like, Oh, let's,

let's not fiddle fuck around with this anymore. I'm getting what I want. And now that I've got to get what I want, I don't really give a fuck what's going on in New York. And Johnny Sachs is all pissed about it. Now in the first episode, season five, Johnny Sachs,

after Carmine has a stroke, is like, I'm not going to forget that you hung me out to dry there. And Tony's like, I didn't hang you out to dry. We had a plan because of something. And then he went back on what he was going to do. And so I stopped the plan. You're the one that wanted to kill him

so you could be boss. I just wanted fucking money not taken out of my pocket. And so that's what's happening right now. What's his name? Aid or Adriana is still being tapped by the FBI. She hasn't really given any good information yet, from what I can tell. More just kind of whining.

Misinformation. Yeah. Either misinformation or just like, well, they're going to a seafood restaurant this evening. That's about all I can say. Like that kind of shit. And Maltesanti, he got out of rehab. I like him as a character. Oh, happened uh that i didn't like is malta santi didn't tip this poor nice gentleman at a restaurant and then he threw him out yeah he was tapped out but then he threw a brick at the back of the

you think this is an easy job i have a family to support yeah exactly and then fucking wop yeah they throw like with the back of his head and it like knocks him out and he's having a seizure and then paul he's like he's pretty fucked up man he just looks around murders him and then the last thing he says is like fucking uh that's my money paul that's my money paulie that's my fucking just after they murder someone. It's like, God, you're just the worst people. That poor man. So that that always bothers me when civilians get caught up.

Didn't exactly. This isn't a huge spoiler because it's a small thing. But did Chrissy bully a butcher yet? Oh, yeah. Oh, that was a while ago. Yeah. Maybe it wasn't a butcher. It was a bakery where he's like, now put a while ago. Maybe it wasn't a butcher. It was a bakery

where he's like, now put a bunch of fucking scones in the box. And the guy's like, the really fat guy comes in. He's like, oh, that's Vito. He's here all the time. Come on up, Vito. And then the other guy, you know, Chris shoots him in the foot and then steals a bunch of pastries. Yeah, shoots his toe off.

Because he was jealous that the guy liked Vito? No, because he was like, Chris walked in and he was making Chris wait in line like everybody else. And then Vito walks in after Chris has been waiting like 20 minutes and finally has gotten to the front of the line. And oh, Vito gets to cut in front of you. And he was like, I've been here. He's like, Vito was already here. He's been in line. He just stepped out for a minute.

Bullshit. Chris is like, all right, Vito, take a walk. Vito walks out. He flips the sign to close, pulls a fucking gun out, walks back. He's like, I ain't going to hurt you. I ain't going to hurt you. I just want to know, do I look like a bitch? What is it about me? What is it about me that you think you can talk to me? He's asking seriously. He really wants to know, what is it about me that you think you can talk to me? He's like asking seriously. Like he really wants to know, like, what is it about me that, that makes you treat me this way? Like, it's, it's such an honest like conversation.

And then he's just like, all right, then bang and shoots him in the foot. Yeah. See the way he could have gotten out of that. Like I was hoping the whole time for the sake of that poor Baker. I was like, if you just say vetoes keeping us in business here,

then he, he probably wouldn't have got his toe shot off Chris probably would have made fun of the fat guy more then And been like yeah well next time fucking you know When he dies from your fucking Caboosh rolls or whatever Like I'll be here I feel bad for the

The innocent civilian Yeah the civilian like he's like You wait in line too long that's a mistake Any one of us could have made and and he got shot for it and they beat up people and it's hard just to exist around these guys because the second anything goes wrong they beat the hell out of you it doesn't like like a richie not richie uh you were saying ralphie was going to be worse than richie as far as liking characters go i like ralphie more than richie richie was not as exciting has ralphie was going to be worse than richie as far as liking characters go i like ralphie more

than richie richie was not as exciting has ralphie beaten someone to death yet ralphie's already dead uh yeah that happened last season come on he beat that little girl i know he did but like i did think it was funny how he went out there he beat her to death and then he goes in there and he's ah just soaking his hand in the ice bucket. And then they're asking what happened. He's like, she tripped. And they walk over and all her bones are broken and her head's concussed, still bleeding out. Ah, she tripped. And it's like, no, she clearly didn't trip, Ralphie.

But yeah, he was an interesting character. Fucking Tony's sister just gets attached to anyone who will throw her even a side glance and then you know now she's religious now my favorite character as far as likability is bobby is bobby bacliari uh he's he's so nice he's even when he's being like mr intimidating it's like well he's he's clearly trying to intimidate them so that they don't get hurt instead of intimidating for him i'd rather have a bullet here yeah here and here yeah like that and i also liked how they're talking about like uh they're like oh all the women's around like oh did you hear they were like uh they used to make fun of bobby for being the only one

who didn't have a guma? And they would laugh at him. And it was really, really heartbreaking when he lost his wife. That's probably the saddest part of the series by far is watching him, who seems like one of the few genuinely good guys in this racket. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's Syl's wife who's talking about that, his lack of a guma. She's like, Syl was on the phone with somebody. They were laughing about how he was the only one that didn't

have a Gumar. Carmella's like, who is he on the phone with? Then they get interrupted. But you know it's Tony. You know it was Sil and Tony fucking laughing at him for not having a Gumar. A Gumar is a mistress. Maybe not. Yeah.

That's a great show. One of the best shows ever made love it i'm bummed that i've only got two seasons left to get through now they're good seasons uh stuff stuff stuff gets to moving three was the weakest for me so far three was the weakest the last one could be the best you know the last two yeah like it doesn't end weak like so many shows i think season five is my favorite. Steve Buscemi hasn't come on yet, right? Literally the beginning of this episode, it showed the image of Steve Buscemi.

There you go. And then being like, ah, he used to be good looking. He was so handsome. He's just as cool. Yeah, you're right. He hasn't made an appearance yet, but I did notice a couple episodes earlier in the series, he'd be like, oh, directed by buscemi oh interesting yeah yeah

he's good uh he's the main character he's gonna be a main character uh coming up like he's gonna be he's gonna be there all the time but okay it's not a spoiler to say this i think but the towards the end of the thing the pony goes to war you know with the new york boys and something about that it just feels very high stakes to me which is why I enjoyed those seasons yeah Tony beat up

a guy for hitting on his daughter you saw that already right no yes I saw him yell at Jamal Ginsburg that's the final season okay Oh, no, no. I saw him yell at Jamal Ginsburg. That's the final season. Okay, well...

Incidents like that are a one-off. The things that build and build and become very consequential that makes the show good to me. Yeah. Coco. Kyle, you were saying when I was texting our group chat, because I've been just sending stuff when I'm seeing certain episodes, that really one of my top episodes so far is when Pauly and Chris get stuck

out in the wilderness. The name of that episode is The Pine Barrens. And they get stuck out there, and they don't realize that the Russian guy they're fucking with is the most hardcore guy they've come across in the entire series so far. And he just, without shoes on, just beats both of them up and runs away and Tony calls him and is like this guy was part of the

interior ministry he killed 16 Chechen officials all by himself and then Paul gets off the phone and he goes Chrissy you're not going to believe this this guy killed 17 Czechoslovakians he was an interior decorator Chrissy goes

Really? His house looked like shit That was a really good one I like that and them fighting And then they're eating fucking condiments in there Squeezing mayo into his mouth Pauly's like Mix it with the relish Pauly's like mix it with the relish Pauly's got

tic tacs he's not sharing I already finished them all you've had tic tacs the whole time they're like freaking out they've lost their lighters they can't even light up a cigarette he's like four years in the army I'll get this back

and then they just walk in a huge circle sitting there. Give me some of that carpet. And then, of course, Bobby Bacliari is the one who actually knows how to save him. And is, like, goofy. And Tony laughs at him because he's wearing his hunter's vest and everything. And then once they get out there, the only person prepared for it is Bobby. As Tony's fucking chiffering in his leather jacket.

It's such a good show. You're right. That's one of my best episodes. One of the best episodes so far. Yeah. Probably. So did you see the second Rick and Morty? Kyle?

No, I don't know how to watch it. Like you have, you've got it on Plex or something, huh? Yeah. Okay. So I got to wait for them to release it.

Cause like I purchased the the season but it doesn't it still doesn't come to me for like a day or two um i i'll check later if it's if it's up or not better than the first but i'm not as pulled into the series as i was in the first two seasons okay or the first three yeah yeah i'll check it out this is season four right yeah it is yeah even last season i didn't want to admit that i felt like it had declined a bit but i think it had okay yeah i'll check it out uh i've been i i kept checking it and it's it like opens up the cartoon network app and i'm not i have to have like a a cable subscription to to get that to give me the Cartoon Network. And I'm just like,

what the fuck? What is this 2004 fucking AdWall bullshit? Yeah. I don't know. Good stuff. I've been streaming, having a good time, still playing Tarkov.

How are you feeling with that? Are you starting to lose the desire to play, getting over that hump, or are you feeling with that are you starting to lose the the desire to play like getting over that that hump or are you still enjoying it a lot so i would say that i'm not like full-on addicted wake up every two hours to set off another scav run to make money anymore now everything i'm a bit more casual just enjoying the game and uh there's so much to learn so much to learn and uh so now that's kind of where it is. Because there's a wipe coming up and my character will be reset, the only thing that doesn't get reset is me, right?

The wetware behind the keyboard. So I'm playing maps I'm not that experienced in so that next wipe I don't have weak maps. I'm using different guns and building more guns on my own and just developing, plugging holes so that I can hit the ground being a strong player next wipe. Yeah. Yeah, I'm looking forward to the wipe.

I've been playing a bunch of Total War Warhammer 2. There's a new DLC coming out for that very soon. Are you doing any campaign stuff? Do you ever do the story mode? No. That's fun. No, I like playing against a human being. I just mean like

because you like stuff where you're managing resources like Civ. You know like you still get to battle. Yeah I get to another player though. Okay fair enough. It's really really hard if you ever give it a go. Like playing on even normal difficulty with some of those factions is

incredibly hard to win. Do you learn stuff that helps it in the other mode uh not no uh it's different because like you'll learn how to move things around a little bit but like like like you know it's like anything else like the gun that was good in campaign isn't going to be great in multiplayer like multiplayer is a whole other beast where these people are have spent thousands and thousands of hours developing a meta and that meta shifts and they are lickety split learning the new meta and

how to be the best they can be. There's no optimal build because it's a little bit like paper rock scissors. I might win this game against you and you can alter your army just a little bit and you'll win next game. It's a well-balanced game. There's a hundred factions you can alter your army just a little bit, and you'll win next game. It's a well-balanced game.

There's a hundred factions you can choose from, and a lot of them are sub-factions. Yeah, there's 16 main factions, I believe, and each has three or four sub-factions of it, which is kind of irrelevant for the most part. For the most part, there's 16 main ones where it's like, oh, yeah, I see the difference between this and that, because it's like high elves and lizard men you quickly can tell the difference between

lizard men and high elves and then there's like uh there's zombies gave in the the vampires yeah yeah all 16 viable or they're like four that everyone agrees are the best um if you're good you can win with anyone it depends on the skill level of your opponent really but if we're evenly matched then you're probably going to want to pick one of like six or eight factions that's still a lot it's very well balanced like they're constantly tweaking uh little things about characters and little things about units um all the time something i do so the way way Kyle's playing it is it'll be like him and some other guy sitting in the lobby,

and you obviously can't see what the other guy's building in his army because that's not fair before the battle. And you get like $8,000 or whatever, and you get to purchase your general if you want any mounts on your general and then spend on your units. Obviously, the better the unit, the more expensive it's going to be. And you try and build a well balanced one. Or if Kyle's playing,

let's say, if Kyle knows, oh, they're playing the Wood Elves, they're going to be all ranged. Well, I need something to combat that. And because Wood Elves can fire on the move, I need some pretty quick units that can flank around and fuck them up so I can't get harassed by, what are they, Greenwood Elves? Way Watchers. Yeah, the Way Watchers

the whole time. And so like that's that's how that is the the multiplayer something that does help you get better at battling in the campaign is like because you're so strapped for resources you have to learn to battle with not your choice of units so if it's like if i'm playing as the um the tomb kings which is like the mummy people the skeletons and and the Egyptian theme, then it's like, oh, well, fuck, I really want the tomb guards, but I can't swing that because I don't have enough provinces locked down. I don't have enough money to afford it.

My upkeep isn't good. I'm going to have to figure out how to do it with just spearmen for now. And so it makes you kind of manipulate your army and figure it out. So I like that part of it and the diplomacy aspect i like the the the lizard men i think are the most fun campaign because if you play that right with mazda mundi you can pretty much build your diplomatic relationship with all the other lizard men quickly to the point that they'll all come to you and be like you're in charge boss man here's everything and then and that's pretty nice yeah you can play the game

however you want as far as multiplayer like like you could do this thing where you have like three really expensive cannons and then you just try to protect them with like a box of like heavy duty infantry and you're just trying to do as much damage with those cannons before the enemy can get to you as possible style yeah or you could like you could have everything in your army be be fast and on horses but with like they shoot arrows from horses so they're just harassing the enemy continuously they just run in shoot you and then run away and your army which started out is like it looks like a if you watch enough medieval movies and stuff like that you know how you have these spears up front the archers and the archers will step forward and the generals back it's just like that yeah so like an army that's set up like that you just

pull them apart because they try to chase your horses over here and to the left to the right behind and front and they get scattered and then you just divide and conquer it's it's really fun and people hate it oh there was one campaign i was doing with Shagoth, the dragon ogre. The sun eater? Yes. Kolek, the sun eater, whatever his name is. He's just this giant dragon ogre with a hammer. He's ten times the size of every other unit on the battlefield, and all of his moves are incredible.

You can just charge him into any group of, even like spearmen, and just let him fuck up for a little bit, run away, heal. But I figured out that you play campaign with colec and the rating of it is hard but if you stay up there in the north and fuck all the norsica for a while and and tech and upgrade you can get it so that the cost of a unit of dragon ogres in colec's army is zero and the upkeep is zero if you upgrade everything and so i had a full stack of just him and 19 dragon ogre units with zero upkeep all maxed out and there is not an army in the game that can handle that no and it's so much fun because you just you charge in and it's just you and you lower the camera down and you go to your opponent's view and you could just see all these

monstrous animals with hammers running towards them, and then you could hit slow motion and see them smashing them out like the witch or like Sauron in the beginning of the first Lord of the Rings. The combat is sick in that game. It's really, really cool. By the way, just so you know, Woody, this is what the character looks like.

Just absurd. Yeah, when that guy's your general, everybody in the army is confident as shit it's hard to tell but he has four legs and a giant tail yeah and it's not even that yeah he's it's not a real problem like and you can upgrade him so well it's like do you want him to be the toughest guy in the game or do you want him to be able to summon lightning from a thousand yards away? And it's like both! All of it! And so you can

really fuck people up with that guy. Yeah, really cool game. That game's fun. People get real pissy when you my friends do. I shouldn't say that. It's quite the opposite when you're just playing randoms online. You get tons of GG's and good luck, have fun. I've never had anybody talk shit ever online.

Everybody's very polite and very respectful. They'll stomp my asshole in and be like, good game, buddy. Nice meeting you. And I'm just like, I would not have been so kind if I had done that to you. Do you have a faction like your go-to right now?

I'm great at Dwarves. I'm pretty fucking good at dark elves and uh lizardman is probably my best yeah when i played i liked lizardman the most a lot of the decisions i made in that game are aesthetic where it's like man the lizardman looks sick the skaven look cool the skaven are a little harder to work because there's something called leadership in the game woody so like if a unit is getting their asshole pushed in their leadership's gonna drop and they'll route and wouldn't you know what the skaven the rat people have horrible leadership meanwhile the dwarves like an entire

dwarf unit but one guy can get massacred and that one dwarf will be like hold the line the dwarves never route and run away which is great but last time I got into it, the meta was like what you said. Dwarves have such good machinery, and then their guys can withstand charges so well. You basically just say, fuck you. You come to me with the dwarves. You don't want to pursue them with dwarves.

You're too slow. Are there a bunch of Legolas you can play with? Yeah. That's High Elves. They have amazing archery. The High Elves and the Dark elves both have like crazy archery and uh they're like they look like legolas they're all beautiful yeah i like the beast men's uh they're fun to play they're a little tough because their armor is so low but their attack is so good but their siege unit thegor, it's just a giant that throws rocks farther than any catapult in the game.

And so sometimes it's fun to make armies with weird builds. So drop every dime you have into nothing but Minotaurs. So they have 10 times as many units as you, but you've got cool-ass Minotaurs charging across the field. And with units like that, you can sometimes win just by lowering their leadership. And what is it? Terror? Inspiring terror? What's the high elf boss character? I can't imagine it. Like their lord.

Okay. They have a few. You pick a general for your army. And out of a list of like, there's like six or eight generals for each faction. out of a list of like there's like six or eight generals for each faction uh and for the high elves the the meta general would either be um techless who's like more of a he's he's decent at melee but he's mostly just like a really good wizard or uh turin um i think um is he big and strong is there like an alpha elf or is he just a little better at... Well, he's not big.

He's just riding a horse with a magical fucking sword and just beating the shit out of everything. But it's like, you can get Turin or whatever his name is for 1500 points and he's really, really good. Or if you want a heavier army build and just a more basic general, you can just get Elven General

for 800 points. This game is old, right? Warhammer? Well, this is Warhammer 2. It came out maybe two years ago. Warhammer 3 is just around the corner. In my head, it was eight years old. I thought it was older. It's based on a tabletop game, so it's very old.

Because of that, they have all of this backstory to draw from. And so it's just like anything else. It'd be like basing a game on something like Lord of the Rings, where it's just like, oh, yeah, all these rules are already established. All of these generals and different kinds of units are just part of this lore. And they pull from that lore and throw it into a video game that's incredibly well balanced it's a lot of fun yeah the the campaign you give it a go at one point kyle just a couple turns you'll like the the flavor of it is good no matter what team you pick it's more it's fun to pick the

bad guys there's like this old man like the intro character who kind of narrates everything and he's got like a crook of a cane, and his eyes have that blind dog thing, and no matter who you are, if you play Kolek, for example, you'll be like, My lord, Kolek of the dragon ogres, for too long the free men of the world have engaged in their trade without payment to the

dark. You will storm over them and destroy everything in your path. And it's like, Yeah, I'm gonna do that! Yeah, I'm gonna storm over them! I'm gonna fuck them up! And then, path. And it's like, yeah, I'm going to do that. Yeah, I'm going to storm over them. I'm going to fuck them up. And then, yeah. And if you're the bad guys, like, you can scare the shit out of other factions.

And, like, you know, Tyrion, the high elf, will be like. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's Tyrion, not Tyrion. Ah, you savages know not to come into my land, but please accept my peace offering and then you can say fuck you no and then they'll be arrogant and be like well then try and take my capital and then you take their capital and they'll be like i'm you you i'm still not afraid and you can you can it's a lot of fun that's how the ai is in civilization too like in civilization 5 like you'll just beat the shit they'll be talking so much shit, like, we hate

you, we hate your people, you're garbage, we're gonna do something about you, and they'll declare war, and you'll just push their shit in until they've just got one tiny little city left in the corner of the map, and they'll be like, hey, about that war, whoops, whoops, my bad, can

we be friends? And you'll be like, yeah, we'll be friends for ten turns. Ten turns will pass and they'll be like, we're getting tired of your shit again. And you're like, really? Do I have to move everything back over there? I just got everything back from beating your ass. Yeah, that could be a pain in the ass. But when you're going into battle

with a full stack of dragon ogres, there's no army in the game that can stop you. The power slivers is like, your side's this and theirs is that, even if they're a full stack of good shit. That part's nice, building really elite armies. I like it a lot. I've got three or four guys that play it.

We do a lot of 1v1s and a few 2v2s. Do you do any siege stuff? I always thought siege stuff was fun. We've done some siege stuff. I don't care for it. Yeah, I remember you didn't like it that much. It's more fun to defend than attack. I don't like doing it. Yeah, I remember you didn't like it that much. It's more fun to defend than attack. I don't like doing it at all. It's just not that well balanced. True.

It is balanced. They give the attacking armor more gold. It's just that, like, I don't know. That's not how competitive Total War is played. So I just try to stay away from it. Fair enough. Yeah, it'd be fun to play. I think you and i in total war

warhammer one we got into a modded helms deep lobby a couple times and played that oh is that what that game was i was playing i think it was the first total war warhammer because that was a bunch of fun it's a really cool custom map it was something else we were playing where it was this custom map that that i found i don't remember what that was that age of mythology or i don't know what we were playing oh no you're right that was age of mythology yeah yeah that was really fun it was helms deep some how did they mod age of mythology to make it fucking helms deep you know i don't know but they even modeled it to the point that like at one point in the battle there's a runner and if you don't kill that runner then he blows it up and it was like our third time playing

it was like take the runner take the run fuck again is there no way to stop him i don't kill that runner then he blows it up and it was like our third time playing it was like take the runner take the run fuck again is there no way to stop him i think we figured out near the end it's like oh no it's meant to play out like the movie you can't you can't kill that guy because if you did kill that guy it'd be a tremendously easy battle yeah so fun times yeah i need to play AOM again. It's a good game. I'm enjoying games. Tailors. How about that COVID thing? How about the virus? How's everybody doing with the quarantine?

I got a kiss. You work on that. About the virus, I don't know what the right thing is, but my Facebook's going bonkers. Over the virus still? There is a strong correlation between people who believe this entire virus is a hoax and a certain faction of the Republican wing

that did poorly in high school science. Those two are linked up exactly. And I don't even know that they're wrong. But I would like a little humility, the kind that I just displayed, in the confidence of their opinions. These guys have watched Plandemic on YouTube about this discredited anti-vax person

who's just cocksure that this COVID thing is a big uh hoax and that falchi is a scam artist liar and more and more and more yeah i don't think it's a hoax uh i think like i don't know it feels like everybody tries to put you 100 in one camp where it's like oh you don't think that people should be able to go back to work just because they can't put food on their family's table and it's like well no it's like you want people to die it's like well i mean come on come on like you can acknowledge how bad this is and then also say hey there are people out there that really need to get back to work it's it's live or die situations for them right now like it's rough but also like you can also say yeah of course the government is going to steal freedoms from us given a pandemic

they always do that they always take advantage of things like that to to do like it doesn't matter who's in power the government's always going to do that and they're not going to slow trickle back those freedoms it's going to be the patriot act again i can't recall any freedoms being trickled back to us no not in my lifetime uh what was i going to say the oh yeah to me that there's this balance okay if you're only interested in health like many of the doctors and virologists and epidemiologists whatever they're called like the guys who are epidemiologists whatever they are

they're only focused on the health side of course they want everyone to stay quarantined forever they're not economy concerned and then there are other people who are economy concerned who don't give a fuck about your health, who will gladly sacrifice 10% of their staff if they could make more money off of it.

And then there's many of us somewhere in the middle who's like, ah, I understand the concerns of the economy. That's not nothing. You know, like- Yeah, true. You know, a strong economy is what leads to a strong healthcare system and a strong economy is what leads to a strong health care system and a strong military and roads without potholes and all that other stuff that we enjoy so that's

important and so is staying alive or not having chronic respiratory issues for the rest of your life or whatever uh organ failure you know let's stay off dialysis i don't even know that's a thing but anyway so yeah i'm somewhere in the middle. I don't know what the balance is. I'm sure it'll take time like everything. We're the people who sucked at high school science who think that this thing is a big old

conspiracy theory. Every virologist in the country is trying to convince me there's a pandemic and there's really not. It's the 5g i need to look into that conspiracy that could be a good one i don't understand that at all most countries don't even have 5g yeah we're just rolling it out right now right about the same time as the the murder hornets and the covid so it's got to be related yeah those you know they didn't

contain those that virus they better contain those fucking bees come on wasps but i don't the worst kind of bee i don't know much about bees but that sounds right do wasps make honey no they probably got something else that's really tasty maybe they make something else tasty yeah Wasps do not make honey, Charlie. What a ridiculous name. They call them murder hornets. They sting people, but it's no more serious than if a fucking regular hornet...

Am I right about that part? There's some big ass bugs. So are Japanese hornets. Hornets are big. Oh, I thought that's what they were. I thought they were just calling them murder hornets because they were those Japanese giants. This is some other kind of fucking hornet that massacres honeybees. For the first few days I learned about murder hornets, I thought they were a joke.

Just a meme that people were like, don't go outside. There's murder hornets. LOL. They wanted you to stay inside for the quarantine and they were pretending that there were murder hornets outside. And then I'm like, wait a minute. Murder hornets are real. I'm going to double check this whole unicorn thing because that seems plausible too. Everyone on Earth would pick COVID over a murder hornet global infestation.

It's like, do you want this global pandemic or do you want scary bugs like think of how many people would break quarantine if there were murder hornets outside even people's yards would be out of control like i'm not mowing i know yeah it's funny murder hornets didn't even sound real it seemed like a goof come on murder hornets that's a joke name how many does it take to kill you how many stings it would if you're not allergic probably sound real. It seemed like a goof. Come on, murder hornets. That's a joke name. How many does it take to kill you? How many stings? If you're not allergic, probably hundreds.

Yeah, but they travel in swarms of thousands probably, right? No, they don't travel. They're in a nest somewhere. Well, then what are we afraid of? They massacre honeybee colonies. Yeah, but if it's doing that over there. They're here. Where are they actually? it's doing that over there they're here where are they actually i i don't for some reason i think they're just i think they ended up in

canada now they're in the northern uh continental u.s no well i'm sure they won't come down south bugs don't seem to like it here oh wait bugs love it here that's their hate humidity i remember when i bought my house i moved to north carolina for the first time right this is an apex and there was a bunch of logs like in this like on the ground where the trees are and my real estate agent was like yeah you don't really need to do anything about those if you don't want to i'm like like they're kind of like they're not on their insightly or whatever he's like this is the south you leave something on the ground for two three years it's just gone now it

rots it's whatever and he was pretty much right i don't know got covered with leaves and if you step on them they like smush and you leave shit on the ground around here and bugs and nature take it over i grilled this past weekend uh outside on my my porch and i forgot to put the grill cover back on and i went out earlier today to put the grill cover back on and I went out earlier today to throw the grill cover on because I think we might get rain and I picked it up off my patio and a wolf spider the

size of my palm crawled out and it was like have you ever stepped on a spider so big it almost pushed back? Because that's what it was like. No! Not today! back because that's what it was like no not today yeah and so yeah he's made a stain it was such a big spider so oh i hate that we in the fall the wolf starters i guess that's their breeding time or something and they'll be like one in the pool on the surface and i'm like oh look this is an extra big wolf spider poor thing and i go to splash it like onto like one in the pool on the surface. And I'm like, oh, look, this is an extra big wolf spider. Poor thing.

And I go to splash it like onto the concrete near the pool. The first time it's thousand babies ran in every direction. Like that's why it was big. It was a mommy spider with like maybe 500 without exaggeration. They just run in every direction. I'm like, oh my god, this is a serious problem. Jackie, get the raid!

Wolf spiders are your friend. We keep them around. We like wolf spiders. Well, it spooked me. It kills the... It's recluse, right? It kills the recluses. Yeah, they do, but I will not abide a spider to live that close to my home. Yeah, if it's the size of your palm, it might kill your dog.

Yeah, I mean, there was like, I brought Teddy in the other day as he was taking a shit because there was like a hawk circling around my backyard, clearly looking at him. And I was like, there's no way that hawk can carry away my backyard, clearly looking at him. And I was like, there's no way that hawk can carry away an 11 and a half pound dog, but he can fuck it up. Like he could talon my little pup to death easy. We have a pair of like mated hawks

that live in my yard. And every so often kittens are born, just like three kittens or something in the neighborhood. And they never make it never i've never seen any of these kittens turn into cats and i'm pretty sure that the hawks are just like thank you thank you yay that's a circle of life you know yeah oh that looks yummy kyle i made red curry i ordered I ordered those dried chilies from Thailand.

And then I bought a bottle of the Last Dab hot sauce. It's the hottest hot sauce in the world. And I made that chicken and spinach curry. So fucking good. Did you put any of your homemade hot sauce in it? I threw that shit away. It looked toxic. Really?

Yeah. I was frightened of it. I tasted it. I tasted it. It was okay. And then I poured it all out in order to bottle a hot sauce. What was concerning you about it being toxic? I didn't like the taste.

I didn't think it was actually toxic. It was just like this lime, this split pea soup green that I didn't care for. I should have used... They didn't have red Anaheim peppers that day, so I went with green peppers. And it was just ugly, and I didn't like it. Well, you know, it's just your first try. Next time, you've got a little knowledge going on. Well, I've got a bottle of the last dab now,

so I'll never need hot sauce again. A jalapeno is about 5,000 Scoville, and this bottle is 2 million. So what do you do with it? Just add a little drop into the soups you make? He starts forest fires with it. That's what he does. I put a teaspoon in an entire dish. And that makes the whole thing crazy, crazy hot.

Too hot for most people? Yeah. I mean, I'm crying and blowing my nose throughout eating dinner. Yeah, but you get that nice post-hot meal clean breath. I don't know about that, but i like spicy shit and uh whenever i order thai food i say yes thai hot oh you sure you sure whitey yes thai hot and uh this is

definitely thai hot if i'm brave i'll order white person hot and i kind of like that they they work with you they're like all right white person hot i got you i got your customer you know we want you to come back again we're all the same team here that'd be funny like a white guy restaurant whatever it is like instead of that they're like asking someone who's not white like uh do you want regular dairy or do you want a white person amount of dairy it's like oh no not that much dairy make me sick well certainly the white person amount of dairy a little extra if you wouldn't mind sir i'm just out with my wife we've had a stressful week i got laid off because of the quarantine i've been furloughed

just need to forget my troubles in some heavy whipping cream painter paints a sad picture yeah call it a wrap yeah yeah bkn 299