Painkiller Already - PKN #30

Episode Date: March 19, 2015

In this weeks episode of PKN, Woody goes over the latest troubles and tribulations relating to his house and Jack, everyone's favorite dog, may not be doing so well.

and we're live painkiller nearly episode 30 this episode is brought to you by crunchyroll just go to crunchyroll.com slash pka and uh sign up for premium to get a whole month of free anime ad free it's the world's finest collection of anime on crunchyroll free for 30 days with zero ads we never did get around to finishing our anime watching experience so i had to i had to go behind your back and cheat on you and watch with someone else you dog i watched a few episodes and i got it yeah i cheated on you with a girl we watched and uh i liked it i think i'm five or six episodes in to attack on titan so if you're interested go check it out's actually pretty good, and they get around to killing those giants with swords, which is what I was waiting on the whole time.

Yeah, they were a little slow to do that, weren't they? Yeah, to forever. Come on, baby. Get to fighting. I seem to have lost control of my camera, so I'm just going to do this. Just going to bring you in here. Yeah. Oh, bad joke? Oh, yeah. Let's hear it. Alright, it's a little long, so settle in and get comfortable.

One day, a young man and a woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden, a bumblebee entered through the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs, the bee entered her vagina. She starts screaming, Oh, my God, help me, there's a bee in my vagina. The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution, if the young sir would permit.

The husband, being very concerned, agreed the doctor could use whatever method he had to to get the bee out of the wife's vagina. The doctor said, okay, what I'm going to do is I'm going to run some honey on the tip of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. And when I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. And when I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis, I'll withdraw it. And the bee will now follow my penis out of the wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said, yes, yes, yes, whatever. Just get on with it. So the doctor, after covering up the tip of his penis

with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina vagina after a few gentle strokes the doctor said i don't think the bees noticed the honey yet perhaps i should go deeper so the doctor went deeper and deeper and after a while the doctor began shafting the lady very hard indeed the young lady began to quiver with excitement and she began to moan and groan aloud the doctor concentrating very hard looked like he was enjoying himself and then put his hand on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises the husband at this point became very annoyed and shouted no wait a minute what the hell do you think you're doing the doctor replies change of plans I'm gonna drown the bastard that's just a terrible, terrible dirty joke. Yeah, there's nothing good about these.

There's not supposed to be. That's awful. Okay. So what's new with you? We could do house talk. We could do this. This Iran things entered my mindset lately. You pick or something else entirely.

I haven't really been doing too much. I've been working out a bunch and I've been getting my paintball stuff together. I got a few more of my little odds and ends today. I got my knee pads and my sliding shorts and I got a couple of new barrels for my paintball gun. Still waiting on a couple more things. I got 500 rounds of first strike rounds.

Tiberius sent me those. Lapco sent me a rifled barrel for it. Getting all that stuff together. Got my pistol rocking and rolling today. I've got the first strike pistol. When you shoot it, it sounds like a real fucking gun. Your paypal videos better be good. All this prep you're doing, the only thing that matters is

the videos that you provide for the people. I know. Everything else is horseshit. I've been working on that too. No one gives a fuck that you've got a new gun in your dresser. It doesn't matter. Did you watch the video I showed of my GoPro Scorpion Tail setup? I saw that, yes. I did see it.

I just need to see the videos on YouTube. 60 frames per second, 1080p. Yeah, it was lovely. Actually, 1440. It was a video of you in your backyard doing nothing. Well, I was testing the angle for the thing because there's lots of ways to position I'm just saying

if it takes three months and then you upload some unedited whatever nothing video the people will be mad no I'll get somebody we need to find some sort of an amateur cameraman to come along with us on this trip anyway.

That would be good. That would be great. But I've got the GoPro 4, and I've got two GoPro 3s, and I think I've got a contour and a replay, so I'm going to use one of those. So I should have at least three cameras on me between the one on my head and the one behind me and the one on my gun.

I hope I'm on the other team. I'm going to kill you nonstop. You're going to look like the spider monster thingy from Spider-Man, you know, with all the optical tentacles hanging out. There's no hiding. There's no hiding for you. That thing's very small. It's just right here.

Oh, it's literally an arm that comes out of the center of your back and curves back around to give you a third-person shooter over-the-shoulder view. And there very well may be an amateur cameraman giving away your position. Now, that I won't have. Cameraman's got to be, like, filming all the action and just get me every now and then. That last time was awful. They always do. Dude, I had, when I played Airsoft,

I had them and they were in these big lime yellow green safety vests filming me. Two of them. Flanking me. And it's like, this is a tough spot to be in. That won't work. I still did well. I crawled in places I didn't want to go.

It was really dry and there were these pricker bushes and stuff, but I was well like, I don't want to say armored, but I just had, you know, military clothes on. It's good for pricker bushes. Whereas they had short sleeves and such. So you have been working on that. I guess you should just

one more time. Or I don't know, probably a dozen more times. It's a month from now. It's four weekends from now. So April 12th, that weekend. april uh april 12th that weekend yeah 11 and 12th i think yeah so so that'll be cool i have to book a flight yeah i thought about that last night i'll probably do that here yeah so um i'm trying to think oh the housing thing there's there can't be more bad news there's always more bad so here's the deal the painters are on site and they're great right they're ripping stuff not ripping like they're tearing

through it that's what that's what i was using ripping is like they're just ripping through the tasks and that's cool the trouble is the painters should be last or near last and the finished carpenters aren't done their work yet and um this made me angry today two things um the painters continue to just blast through and go room by room but there's little like problems and by the way they shouldn't be working at the same time as finished carpenters because there's like dust in the air it'll get in the paint it'll make things bad so like i'm just like should we tell these painters to go home or something because the other guys aren't getting their work done. That's an issue.

God, I feel like I'm worried that this is boring. I have this like self-conscious like timer thing going. Like, have I told these stories to too many people to hear? No, I'm always interested. So they say this guy is the awesome carpenter. He's the dream team. He's the guy that you want. I've been trying to get this guy forever. And Woody, we're old friends friends like being an old friend of you is a positive at this point right you should be

like oh really yeah right he's like i've known this guy forever we go way back now i don't try not to be the i don't want to like give away many details, but something happened in my contractor's life like 15 years ago. And when the guy made reference to it, it was clear they hadn't spoken in like 15 years. Yet he's acting like they're good buds just because they went to the same high school 100 years ago.

So that's the thing. Anyway, this guy came on Saturday, talked about what he wanted to do with the stairs and everything, but he wasn't available Tuesday, until Tuesday. So then he comes thing. Anyway, this guy came on Saturday, talked about what he wanted to do with the stairs and everything, but he wasn't available Tuesday, till Tuesday. So then he comes on site today, and they need to wait two days for materials to arrive. And I'm like, if you had ordered it Saturday,

it'd have been there Tuesday for you. It'd have been there Monday. What's that? It'd have been there fucking Monday. Well, I don't know how weekends count, but it's certainly been there Tuesday. Yeah. And now it won't be there till Thursday, at best. And they're like blaming some other guy. It's like, it's certainly been there tuesday yeah and uh now it won't be there till thursday at best and they're like blaming some other guy it's like it's your fault motherfucker you he got what

he was told to get now you're like i need new things too all curvy parts and stuff and it's like two more days for that now what and then there's another finnish carpenter who's supposed to be on site he was supposed to be on site yesterday didn't come supposed to be on site. He was supposed to be on site yesterday, didn't come. Supposed to be on site today, didn't come because the weather was nice. I hope you're making this all known like every step of the way. You got to be telling somebody every time one of these things happens. Like that general contractor needs to know. He knows. He knows that it seems like he's fine with it and I'm not fine with it. So, you know, and they're like, well, you got to understand, Woody, he has this outside job. he's working on your house because it's supposed to rain and he wanted to have work to do that he couldn't do in the rain because his other work is all outside work and it's like are

you telling me because it didn't rain today i have no finished carpenters on site like everyone else me bottom of the pile right lowest priority Lowest priority. Like, fuck. And meanwhile, the painters just keep ripping away, getting their stuff done. And then he gave me a quote for the shop out back, which by the way, I'm prepared to pay like 40 or 50 grand for a really nice shop out back, right? And we keep scaling back the shop and the price is still too high. And it started at $32,000. That's his quote. He's like, dude, yeah, if we're just going to renovate this existing thing, $32,000.

I'm like, sweet. I even had more budget than that. So I was like, let's add on a little autumn part. And then he's like, all right, all right. And the quote was, I think it was $53,000. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, all right, $53. And the quote was, I think it was 53. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, all right, 53, let's make it a go.

And I even bought some materials for it. And they started demo. And then he gives me a written quote. It's $97,000. I'm like, how did we go from 53 to 97? And you might think to yourself, well, did you add stuff? No. He went from 53 to 97 and he took stuff away. And I'm just like, that's a ridiculous amount to be off.

You're not good at estimating, are you? At all. Like, that's what you should say to that. Like, you're terrible at estimations, aren't you? Like. I mean, I was maybe harsh. I was like, if you don't want the job, just say so. I was like, this thing's off.

You know, we're not doing this at 97 so um you know we scaled back some of the requirements and such and it went down to maybe that's when it went to 53 i don't know but it went from 53 to 117 117 and it's just like how the fuck did this happen you don't even know what half of what I needed looks like, dude. Much less. Wow. I had this series wrong, but it went from, it was at 32, and then we added a scope and it came in at 97. And I was like, all right, all right. I found some used materials. We backed off on the scope a little bit.

It went to 53. This sounds absurd. This was all verbal. I feel like you could build a house for that. Right. That's what I'm saying. This was all verbal. I feel like you could build a house for that.

Right. That's what I'm saying. Dude, this is like weatherproof an existing shop and add some bare walls. There's no drywall. There's just some concrete. I don't know why it's costing so much. You could build a finished house with plumbing and electricity. You could build a home, like a 2,000 square foot home for that. Let me run through these numbers quickly.

It was $32,000, and since I had extra budget, we added an auto part. And then it went to 50. Maybe I forget what it was somewhere. But then maybe there's a high verbal, and we went to 53. I think it was in the 70s. And I was like, in the 70s, this is no go. So I found some used materials and a way to save some money. We went to 53.

He spent like 45 minutes just with paper and pen thinking about how this was going to change everything. You peeked over his shoulder to see what he's doing. He's drawing like a tiger and a stick figure child. Like he's, ah! So it was 32. Then we added a scope in fairness and it was like 70s or 90s or something. So then we cut back and found some used wood and went to 53. Shook hands.

I bought the used wood. Still not delivered yet. A whole other story. But I bought, like, I committed some money to make this happen. And then it went from 53. No, maybe. Fuck, I'm ruining this. 32 to 97.

That's right. And then it was too high. So we went from 97 to 53 by shrinking it use materials stuff like that 97 to 53 now the project's back on then he writes it up no increase in scope to 117 and i'm like that's higher than the 97 plus we did all this shit to save money how can you be so far off so then we we take back on scope shrink the building stuff like that find some cheaper way he just see promises what is I'm not making any money and concrete cost this much and this and that and he just keeps bouncing around I couldn't take that I just feel like stop lying to

me I'm not an idiot yeah oh that's thousand dollars for how many square feet where we differ I am an idiot70,000 for how many square feet is the shop? That's where we differ. I am an idiot. Okay, how many square feet is the shop is a tricky question, right? Because it's big. It's like, let's see. I understand that maybe you're going to do a smaller section of it, but total. Oh, I just got huge.

Yeah, you did. So one is 2,000 and the other is 42 by 2840. So about 2,800. But it's important to remember that 2,000 of that is already there. Your camera's crazy, right? You, every time you do something, it like does something different to mine. Yeah, when you like did that thing, whenever you like switched over to a monitor, whenever does something different to mine. Yeah. When you did that thing, whenever you switched over to a monitor, whenever you did something just then.

I opened a calculator locally. That did it. That's what controls my camera. That controls your camera? Wow. Yep. So it's $2840 total, but $2000 of that is an existing structure. So it just seems like, I mean, $840, I don't know.

It seems like he is an asshole there is you could i guarantee i could go get a uh for 117 000 i could have a 2 000 square foot home built with brick on the out see that's the thing make that happen like yeah that's where i'm stuck and he almost did me a favor i'll i'll wrap this up so we were at 53 then he comes in at 117 the project's off again we shrink the building we back off from some scope i'm gonna provide some materials like the garage doors and stuff and we agreed to 63 000 yesterday 63 is over budget but it was always kind of like i expect it to be over budget so now you know but wait there's more it comes in today now it's in writing 71 and i'm just like fuck it i tap out

i'm done you know like you won't be building my shop and you here's what would be awesome if you could find another contractor to build your shop come in and like throw that thing together like a good contractor for like unlike under budget before this assholes done with your house Yeah, right that I would love it is some other contractors swooped in this is it rich a Fucking Cuba he usually works with bamboo Get to it and you look back there in the like the job foreman's like up there on the roof hammering shit like everybody's going at it like they i i wouldn't be super shocked if they built that shop quicker than he could paint my house you know like just it's and i'm such an idiot that like i i'm giving him more chances and stuff i guess at this point i'm i might legit just be

stringing him along i want him to think he's doing the shop that that we have like an ongoing relationship while he's working on my house he is not a patreon member i guarantee that no yeah i i you know at this point i want him heavily invested i mean they think that we're going to be like investing partners and such together after this whole thing's over. I haven't told them otherwise, but, but that's, that's where their head is.

You're not investing into some real estate that he's put together or anything like that. Yeah. I just built this whole apartment complex down the road. We got to get into it. I wouldn't touch it, man. You don't want that.

No, you guys are moron. He's fucking you. He's either incompetent or he's just a bad guy like he's trying to fuck you i think he's incompetent because i think if he was trying to fuck me you do a better job yeah maybe he's incompetent and trying to fuck you that could be but like i'm pretty sure he's losing money on the house at this point like there's been so much rework and and i know for a fact like the last finished carpenter charged him like seven thousand dollars or something like that

um it he just he even if he was trying to fuck me over this thing i don't think he'd intentionally take a two-week project and spread it over 10 weeks like that's to no one's advantage he stopped bidding new projects at this point because he's so behind yeah he wants it done he's just not doing it very well and uh i was talking to jackie about the carpenter today the one that didn't make it because it wasn't rainy and she's like if this was still january like i'd be cool cool about that. Like, I get it, you know? Like, all right, yeah, he's got some other job. He's just trying to maximize his own work hours, you know? He's got all this outdoor work lined up.

He's trying to line up some indoor work and use it, you know, keep himself busy. Like, I get that. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense. Except, at this point, the project is seven weeks behind schedule, which is to say it's nine weeks into a two-week project that's fucked up man you know it's time for me to stop being the lowest priority treat me like an emergency and um well that's terrible i guess the most important question is now with the with the shop going over budget like this are we going to be able to get the big grotto or

we're going to have to downsize that as well will the grotto still be 15 feet deep i don't even know what a grotto is is that the pool thing well it's it's attached to the pool it's sort of a cavern that that's going to be under your home i know that jackie was looking into some very serious pool structures like maybe something with some rock walls or some waterfalls going on i figured a grotto would be the the logical next step it's funny yeah the we in my head the pool was going to happen in the fall pools are cheaper to install in the winter and it was like you know yeah we'll just do it after summer and you know whatever and uh she's like no no no no no we want to pull for this summer. So we'll see. And I dream of a nice pool. I don't know what they cost. Right.

Like in my head, a very basic pool is like 20 or 25 grand. I think less. A below ground pool? I think you get a below ground pool, like the basic square one for like 15. Okay. All right. So work with that. Right right let's say the basic square pool is 15 what does 35 get you does it get you like masonry walls and like i would love a um like a little water slide like with you know type thing like have you seen okay so it's the dumbest thing in the world there's a youtube video of a dog using a water slide and it's clear that the water slide's like made out of concrete it's

pretty slippery and it's not being damaged by his toenails and i'm like that sounds awesome um i bet there's some sort of uh so here's what i hate and that's fiberglass they use fiberglass around water all the time, and when I was like five years old, I was going down the slide, and the side of the slide was a little dry, and my ankle rubbed on it, and it sandpapered my ankle.

Burned your skin off, right? Yeah, and from hence forth, I have never, ever been on a fiberglass slide, and I never will again. First of all, it's like two seconds of sliding, all right? It's not that big never will again there's first of all it's it's like two seconds of sliding all right it's not that big of a deal and second of all there's danger there I don't want to sand my skin off again so you're gonna have to get some sort of a stone slide or I'm just not going down it quite frankly and I suppose there's the question do you want like sort of an olympic style

thing that's square and you can do your laps in or you okay with like one of those kidney shaped ones that's really artsy and like has like an extra like bubble for for like a hot tub and maybe a rock wall with like continuous water flowing across it so the rocks are always wet like is that what you want i can't do laps a lot of people talk to me about that like you know jackie's like yeah you should be able to do laps in your own pool and stuff like that i'm like honey like even though i'm old and fat now, I'm still a real swimmer. I wonder if anyone out there listening to this is an ex-athlete. I hate to call myself

that. I'd rather think of myself as an athlete, but whatever. You swim the correct way. Are you telling me you need a lot of distance to do these? I'm telling you that my flip turn will take me 10 yards. My flip turn will cover most homebound pools. And then on the other side, my flip turn will cover most like homebound pools and um and then on the other side my flip turn is going to be like a yard or so maybe even two so or even a

yard and a half but anyway that doesn't give me a lot of swimming you know okay and if i jump off the side for whatever reason you know that it's'm 15 yards in. Jump in. Yeah, like off a starting block or something. I see. So I think the audience needs to think back to Kevin Costner in Waterworld, just with the gills and everything. Remember how he could just, like, swim and kind of hop out of the water like that? So no ordinary pool could hold you, is what you're trying to say. It would take, like, a community pool type thing.

Like, if you see a pool with lines on the bottom where people train say it would take like a community pool type thing like if you see a pool with lines on the bottom where people train in it yeah yeah that i would need to pull and the it gets really extreme right like if you take a 25 yard pool then i'm probably swimming like 10 yards of that if you shrink that down you know to a home size and you make it like a 18 yard pool or something all of a sudden i'm only swimming like five yards a lap and the whole thing is bullshit so it's not even swimming i'm just pushing off the sides repeatedly i see well that makes a lot of sense so it's a goof off pool and so that's the point no good goofing off in it and uh i don't know what 5050,000 buys you. Let me look at some custom-built pools.

Oh, wow. The first one that popped up is exactly what you need. Is it? Oh, it's so nice. This is exactly... Hey, let me get a push of this. Is it by cleanpoolandspa.com? No.

Okay. It's custom-built pools and spas capture area so this is doesn't really show what they got going on for their pool but this is the rock wall esque thing slide that i was sort of trying to describe. Control V. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. I really need a full screen version for PKN.

But yeah, so if you're listening to this on like Podbean or something or iTunes, what you're seeing is a slippery stone water slide with a waterfall in the middle, possibly like a little bathtub like pool type thing. Oh, dude, go to that website. You're gonna love this. All right. There's all kinds of great stuff here. Is it playing the music for you? Yeah. Oh, that's great. So this is awesome. I don't know what we can afford or what we can do.

I'm halfway sure there's going to be like a giant boulder right where we want the pool to be. And that'll add to the cost if you have to blast it and stuff. If there's blasting to be done, I think I'll be ready to take care of that by this time i'm going to talk to a uh an nfa lawyer tomorrow and he's going to walk me through all that stuff get my helpful explosives license yeah we'll blow the fuck out of your yard i'm trying to find uh prices at this point i'm kind of like one project at a time. I don't know. We need like, in my head, I needed the shop so that I could move out of the Apex house, right? But now I'm half like, dude, am I just going to be selling all my woodworking shares? I don't even know. It's been a rough process.

I suppose I should start contacting other builders and finding out what the scoop is. I'm looking at these custom pools. They are very nice. I don't even like pools. That's the worst part. Like this website at landscapingnetwork.com. Let me see what we have here. I don't know.

When you scroll down to just a little bit, there's a crazy pool there. Let's see if I can get a bigger picture. And if you click two, if you scroll through, there's four images there. The second one appears to be lit with LEDs. It's awesome. I bet your contractor knows someone who could get started on this immediately. He does. He tells me. He's like, go to this guy.

He's like, do this. Go to this guy. Get a quote. Then tell him you're with me and see how much that quote drops. I'm just like i i don't know can i just do it like a normal person get competitive people i have a better idea i'm gonna go find someone who can actually do the job they're gonna give me a quote and then i'm gonna pay them the money and they're gonna do it right that's oh god if you weren't so concerned with saving $5,000 here and there, general contractor person whose name shall not be uttered,

maybe your job would have been finished a month ago and you've been on job two, three, or four by now. That's the kind of thing that I think too, yeah. And I'm telling it, he's like, yeah, but these contractors, they they're inexpensive and it's like dude they're costing you a mint a mint you've literally stopped bidding out new jobs now you know like you're getting your ass handed to you at a time when construction is booming because you're trying to save pennies and you're losing dollars you know to finish a job oh and buy like referrals future business no no no no no no no i don't see

any of this coming and uh yeah i just i don't like it i don't like it so uh we'll have them finish the work they started and that'll probably be the end of our relationship and that'll be that i wish i lived there you know every day um when i go home like there's a sunset and stuff like going down over the house and i've got this great big chunk of land or what seems big to me there's people out there with more but um it's big compared to where i normally live and where i grew up and i just like it's really nice but I mean we've been we've been at this for fucking ever right like it I think we started we put the bid on the other home the one that was rotted out and such back in September you know we were trying to move in by Halloween we wanted to give out candy at the new house that fucking fell apart then we settled on the second one

november and uh and waited on time warner and all that shit and um is this more paintball shit you're giving me dude this is hilarious i guarantee you it's not i get all right then watch let's watch this video okay hold on let me um we expanded it so obviously we don't we won't watch the whole thing i suppose unless it really is funny but i watched like three seconds of this and i was loving it okay ready set play i need to make this bigger and i just ordered one of these pistols the original uh splat master paintball pistol. It's $30. Three seconds? Twelve seconds and it's still promo.

It's intro. Yeah, that's the pistol I got. What's interesting about this? You'll see. Oh, I'd like one of those. Have you played the survival game? It's awesome. Look at that guy screaming as he rolls. This is not an adequate face protection.

No, there wasn't any. Look at that guy. What's he wearing? These. No, there wasn't any. Look at that guy. What's he wearing? He's...

They need to go all out and have bear traps and shit back in the woods. Probably do. You'll see him disappear when you take your leg off. Survival game. An adult version of Capture the Flag.

Two equal teams that begin at opposite ends of a playing field. Probably so. I was just skipping around through opposite ends of a plane. Probably so. I was just skipping around through it. It looks so ridiculous. Yeah. The mustaches. But yeah, I got one of those pistols. I got that coming too.

Why? Because it's super old school and it's that green plastic goofy looking paintball pistol. It's the Splatmaster. I'm going to pull that thing out as my secondary. Have that thing strapped like right here knock yourself out it's gonna be good i'm sorry that your house isn't built yeah imagine if imagine if you were like you already had a buyer for your you know the house you're sitting in right now. Oh, thank God.

That's not the case. If that was the thing. If they were like, we really need to move in. We already sold our old house. We're staying at the hotel across town. You got to make something happen. Like if you had them breathing down your neck every day and you already got their money in escrow. And then meanwhile, you got this jackass like another week or two, Woody.

And we'll have something to look at. You got to understand, Woodyody we can't work when the sun is out you know because we'd rather work somewhere else so we only work on your house on rainy days and at night i was like that we do our day jobs cross town that's what the real money is we come here at night uh on the weekends as long as it's not too cold like that's what it looks like they've been doing how long has it been actually it's been three months right mid-january they started yeah yeah going on three months it's i guarantee you're in your house by may like you're in there and

happy in may the um because hey my birthday's they said they'd be done in january that's like the thing like you know that that was their due date they're like you will be we'll be out of here in january you'll be moving in so so i interpreted that to mean january 31st you know the last day of january and um i remember i even told him i'm like look i know you missed your date but it's not the end of the world because the furniture won't be here until like february 5th 7th something like that where's that furniture at it's in a warehouse waiting how much is that costing nothing no they're they have a giant warehouse it's not a problem we spent a lot we spent like i don't even know 25 30 in furniture something like that and um so they're they're happy to house it for us they're not

fussing yeah we talked about that how Everything needs to match. Because normally, I think what most people have is sort of over the years, they've collected enough furniture to fill a home. Rather than very few people ever decorate a home. You said something that burned in my head. Sorry to cut you off. But you said it like this. So I used to show homes to Kyle and Shiz all the time. Homes I was looking at, right?

Like, I think we're going to go see this one. I think we're going to go look at this. This looks interesting. They'd give their thumbs up or thumbs down, and it was really more influential than it should have been. But whatever. They'd give their thumbs up and their opinion. And one of them, Kyle, was like, you know what makes this house so nice? It's not the home.

But they've done something that neither I nor probably you can do. It's decorated well. And it enlightened me. It was like, you know, two things are true about that. One, it's really the decoration of this home that I'm falling in love with. As I look at their pictures online, it is so well tied together. Everything fits every it's amazing. They did a great job at decorating their home so much so that it makes me want to buy this and you know in its empty state and two i can't do that like i if you're a normal person you might have some confidence in your abilities to decorate i'm old as fuck i have never red bull container like the the red is not supposed to be next to the bright red leather couch.

I don't think those mesh. Right. In all my years, I've never put together a room. I've never gone to, I don't know, linens and things and Bed Bath & Beyond and Pottery Barn and TJ Maxx Home Goods and really assembled a good-looking home. Never did it. I don't think that I could, I don't know. Best success was probably a cube a long time ago.

So, so we hired a decorator and just put a lot of stuff together. But yeah, I'm really looking forward when you, I know that I remember someone asked if there was going to be like a house walkthrough video and I'm just like, don't put that pressure on it. Like, too soon. Dude, I want to do a house walkthrough video.

Like, I'm kind of excited. I want to show it off and show people what's up and stuff. And I think it's not going to be done done for a long time, right? Like, for example, that the house will be finished and the furniture will be moved in, but will I have TVs embedded in the walls or home theater systems set up? It all takes time. After we move out of this house, this one needs to be prepped for sale. That'll take time. I'll do a walkthrough video. I can't wait to show people around. I can't do it now because it'd look awful. And then when I do the good version, you'll have like seen it before.

So it's kind of hang out and wait. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Dude, people come by the new house already. Like people have sent selfies of themselves in front of the house. I mentioned this before. No.

Dude, it snowed. This is like last week, I think. selfies of themselves in front of the house i mentioned this before no dude it snowed this is like last week i think and there were footprints of someone walking through the snow up onto our porch and like they walked the whole thing they didn't drive on the driveway they walked up our driveway which is long it's like a couple minutes for those just to walk the driveway and uh and then they went on the porch and i what i in my head i see them like peering in looking in the window,

seeing what's up and leaving. Could be nosy neighbors. Could be fans, but I've definitely had, they could still be there. I've definitely had fans like send me pictures of themselves in front of my new house. It's like super creepy. Yeah.

But, um, yeah. Well, soon Jack will be running free out there and just eviscerate a child so jack might die he has um uh he they think he has a disease called wobblers which i don't know much about have you ever heard of wobblers oh i know it doesn't sound good Oh, I know. It doesn't sound good.

I don't even know. Wobbler's disease. Yeah, this is right. He has... So he's been in pain, kind of, for a while now. Like a while being like a week. So when our dogs are hurt, we usually wait like three days or something to take action on it. We don't like run to the vet every time something happens. And after three days

he wasn't really getting better and he's he's real gentle around us like in the family but like when we pet him on one side he's cool he leans into it we pet him on the other side he kind of like melts away like you know he doesn't want to be touched there yeah and um when the other great dane like wants to wrestle with him, he'll get aggressive. He normally doesn't do that. But he goes straight to don't fuck with me mode because he's hurt. So we took him to the vet and they x-rayed him. And they found a spot or something on his neck.

And wobblers, I guess, is a disease that impacts Great Danes. And it looks like a large dog breeds i think it might be a horse thing too but i'm not sure but great danes especially and um they're going to get a second x-ray i think soon and confirm it if he does have wobblers it could turn out a couple of ways like he'd he could just be limited in what he does. I think it'll shorten his life. I don't know. We'll see how it goes down. I like Jack a lot.

He's really going on me. Surgery's not an option? It doesn't seem to be, no. We have done it. You've done it, you say? I'm sorry. I'm reading it. It's from that point of view. It says, we have done a study looking at the success of surgery and medical management of wobblers in 104 dogs.

Based on the study, we learned that approximately 50% of dogs will improve with medical management. Approximately 30% will remain stable and 20% will worsen. Surgical treatment offered a success rate of approximately 80%. The other 20% of dogs either remain stable or worsened. We have had very good success with both medical and surgical management. Is this Wikipedia? worsened we have had very good success with both medical and surgical management is this wikipedia uh it's vet.osu.edu slash whopper syndrome i see it yeah it's the third one for me so um we'll see we're just getting our second x-ray and then um well i guess we'll follow the vet's advice

my dad's got this female Jack Russell Terrier. I guess she's, how old is that fucking dog? 10, maybe 12, 13 years old, which is pretty old for them, I think. And like her fur's all gone gray where it used to be brown and black around her face. And she's got some sort of a, what is it when it's with your lungs? Respiratory problem. so that she was coughing through the night and when she would breathe it was really hoarse it was and you like normally don't hear that from dogs i looked at the last vet bill when i went over there at the end of the day

it was like 900 for these respiratory treatments the dog has a fucking breathing mask and you run a nebulizer on this dog the dog is there it's like darth vader it's funny like so our um my sister-in-law had a dog and it had cancer and um the cancer was in its like face or something and they're getting it treated and um i want to share. They don't have extra cash. That's their scoop. I think one's insurance. The other one's like a new school teacher.

And those aren't jobs that get you rich. Yeah, thousands of dollars for a pet isn't something everyone can afford. Exactly. So my wife is like, dude, let the dog die. Dog's like 13 years old. It's a yellow lab and it has cancer. Sometimes the writing on, sometimes the writing's on the wall, right?

And, but they didn't, they invested like thousands into keeping this dog alive. And it worked. The dog is in remission and he's fine now. And we're like, oh, bad call. Maybe, I don't know. I guess the time will tell but yeah yeah so they they i guess cured the dog's cancer and it looks like it took that's great yeah i guess i there's pet insurance you can get as well i think i think my parents actually have pet insurance

maybe some sort of a i know with like when you've got a lot of cars, you get fleet insurance. I wonder if there's pack insurance. Yeah, I think that maybe when you have more dogs, your connection to them is a little different. Like, I enjoy my dogs. I like them. They're good. But I still think of them as kind of like an animal in the house. And when I was a kid, we just had one one dog that dog was practically a brother or a sister now that we have three like there's a pack roaming

around like i don't know i was gonna say i love him like a farmer loves his cows no probably more than that but i don't you know i think if we had one dog it'd be more of a child than the livestock. I feel differently about different dogs. So, like, Dak is a real motherfucker. I hope something bad happens to Dak. Whenever there's a big storm, I'm hoping that, like, lightning hits the branch in the tree above his pen and a branch falls on him and just crushes him to death. Or, like, he'll get free again and just never return.

Or something like that. I really dislike Dak that he's worn out his welcome huh because there was a long time like you spent kyle for people that know is a dog lover kyle likes dogs don't get twisted on this if kyle meets a dog and that dog's not nice he will try to win that dog over i like dogs he likes dogs i grew up with dogs lots of them big dogs little dogs my dad's got a doberman he's also got a jack russell terry that like sits in his lap and quivers because it's so fucking tiny so like i'm and it's weird that dog doesn't like me uh kitty's got her dog muppet and uh and i really really like muppet she's got a lot of personality she's fun to play with but like if kitty's not there she's she just retreats to her end of the house and she doesn't do anything um but mike is a bit of a motherfucker you know you kept him unneutered for a long time

you're the only thing between between his balls and his scalpel and then eventually yeah oh eventually i was like whatever i don't care just just maybe die during the operation yeah and also sometimes when you is it neuter a dog or you fix a dog neuter neuter, sometimes when you neuter a dog, or you fix a dog? Neuter. Neuter, okay. When you neuter a guy dog, it gets less aggressive sometimes. So there was hope, in my head anyway, that that would somehow benefit his

attitude. I walk outside and he can see the door from his pen, but as soon as you walk around the corner out of the garage, he can see you. And it's not even like woof's like, he'll have a toy in his mouth and he'll bark and shake his head and the toy will go flying. And he doesn't give a shit. He's just focused on me, just like presenting and make himself big and scary. And he's's like who the

fuck are you what are you doing here go away go away like that that's his uh reaction to me every time he sees me and he knows me he comes inside at night he comes inside at night and sleeps in kitty's bedroom he sees me as he goes past every single time right past the living room into her room he knows who i am i've fed him before i've given him all kind of treats and balls and and He sees me as he goes past every single time, right past the living room into her room. He knows who I am. I've fed him before. I've given him all kinds of treats and balls and tasty things. No, no.

I'll go out there and toss him half a hamburger, and he'll be like, all right, then. Just this once. Look, your fingers didn't stick through. Son of a bitch. I don know i'm now i'm mad at dax i he's terrible he's a terrible dog i really hope he escapes into the wilderness where he belongs maybe he'll run a pack of coyotes or something fuck dax yeah i don't know but jack is really sweet we like him a lot and he's cuddly for me he's always wanting to snuggle and stuff but um it looks like he has wobblers and i i'm a i have guilt over this but

one of my early thoughts was um maybe i don't need a six foot fence and then jackie said it like a you know a few days later she's like i don't think we're gonna need a six foot fence yeah one we agree two i'm not the only jerk off we thought that that's okay to think that i mean i think you'd right you'd probably rather have a six foot fence and for for jack to have full range of his neck and that way he could hop over the fence and grab a neighbor child and just if he needed the thing about the big fence for me is i feel like i'm inside a prison like i'm inside the prison walls. Some people might like it because they have this sense of security.

Also, our lot's too big. So it would just cut it into pieces. That's not what I want. In my dreams, it'd be a horse fence. I think a horse fence around the edge of the property would be awesome. But they're not good at keeping dogs in. So that's the thing. Dude, Iran.

Maybe you haven't watched this at all, but basically President Obama is in talks with Iran. Oh, yeah. And he's more or less trying to get them to disarm, to stop pursuing nuclear stuff, etc. Maybe it's like Clinton did with North Korea where, you know, he gives them a bunch of food and water and stuff and, and they stopped pursuing their nuclear program for a little while. I don't know. But while Obama is in talks with Iran, trying to get them not to pursue nuclear stuff, the Republicans, 47 Republicans write their leader a letter and say, look, any deal you strike with Obama could be over in two years when we take the White House. And, you know, so so don't go thinking that you're making some sort of long term peace accord with with the United States.

We'll fuck you up. And I'm just like, God. And then he came out and said that he's like, I can't work with America. He's like, he's like they're not trustworthy and you know the deals aren't they don't stick and it's like i i don't throw around treason that lightly but this feels damn near treasonous like from what i read it's a violation of something called the logan act okay i'm But not treasonous from what the Reddit comments have taught me. But yeah, it definitely seems

counterproductive. It's not a good... I don't know. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Maybe they're afraid that Obama's gonna give up too much and maybe they're right. In two years, he may be out of office and you may have a guy who's completely polar opposite on the way he feels about iran i recognize but

they still shouldn't be sticking their nose like obama i get that and um i also kind of get that like everyone thinks they're right and i'm no exception. And everyone thinks that the other side would agree with them if they were just privy to the same facts that you had when you arrived at your decision. But, God, I still feel like the other side would change their mind if they just had the facts. Like net neutrality. People are hating net neutrality. That's horseshit. How can you hate net neutrality? Imagine if you'reality that's horseshit how can you hate net neutrality right you know imagine if you're drinking a milkshake through a straw someone comes and squeezes it that's that's what the republicans want the ability to squeeze that

straw like oh you taking some netflix in fuck that and you know you're like but i paid for like whatever 50 down and five up yeah well not not for this kind of content. Fuck you. You can pay extra if you want Netflix to go fast. And then that, of course, means that companies like Netflix, Netflix is big and profitable. They could get started. But if there's ever a competitor to Netflix, if there's someone else, if you want to start your business,

then you'll be out of luck until you know, until you can become the big profitable guy that pays the absorbent fees. It will stop new companies from succeeding on the internet if you don't have net neutrality. And, you know, if you look at where the donations go, ISPs are buying Republicans, period. Yep. That's crazy. And it just seems, I think, this is what a litmus test I give myself a lot. Okay, Woody, flip it around. Let's say Bush, a president I didn't like, was doing this and the

Democrats were going behind Bush's back while he was trying to negotiate with a foreign power for peace and saying, no, no, no, we're going to fuck you up as soon as Bush gets out. Would I approve of that? No. I would recognize that as bad behavior, regardless of whether they were blue or red. It's so over the top. I want to be Republican. I'm ready to switch.

I'm ready. I swear I am. And every time they do anything, I'm like, oh, right. That's why I've been against these guys for a while now you know i voted for bush because i'm stupid but i did and and both times or the first time just the first time just once um but yeah you know he sold me on this idea of capitalism in schools like that that was actually the big thing and He wanted to do a voucher system.

And for people to know how this works, basically, you pay taxes all the time and it funds your local public school. The idea was that instead of funding your local public school, you could get a voucher and go to any school you wanted. And I'm like, wow,

this would revolutionize America. This would be great. With a voucher program, I could take my kid and put him in another school. Maybe my kid hopes excelling in speech and debate. Maybe there's a school that pops up and specializes in that sort of thing where she becomes – they raise little super attorneys over there. Or maybe your kid's tech-oriented and their tech school pops up and does that thing.

Or maybe your school is into the performing arts and you take your voucher. Instead of just standing in this one-size-fits-all public school, all sorts of schools pop up and compete to be the best school that can possibly be right now if you wanted to start a private school you know you kyle entrepreneurial bent you're like all right i'm going to start a private school you're competing with free which is a very tough business to be in if vouchers exist then suddenly that helps entrepreneurs create private schools. And I was like, oh, this is great. Bush is going to do this. Fantastic.

Well, the first thing Bush did when he went in office was put arsenic in the water. He's like priority number one. He's like, you know that thing I said about, you know, clean water and stuff on the campaign trail? Changed my mind. Arsenic's not so bad. Arsenic in the water's cool. And I'm like, wow, really? That was like the first thing he did. then he starts, oh, and then his tax cuts.

That was a big thing. When Clinton was there, I guess the economy was doing great. And he was like, the government's taking too much of your money, and we're paying off the national debt. It's time to cut taxes and end that. And then Bush gets in and the economy starts tanking. Not his fault, right?

Whatever. That's the timeline. And he says, oh, the economy's doing poorly. We need some tax cuts to revitalize this thing. And it's like, what? You use the opposite logic to sell your tax cuts? And I'm probably going on too long. But yeah, I voted for him and then

instantly he started doing tons of stuff i didn't like and um now i as i look toward the next election and think who am i going to vote for republicans you know show me what you got i just keep seeing stuff i don't like well i took that political compass thing, and apparently I am 0.13% left. Just a little bit left, huh? Just a little bit left from center, and I am 4.05 points into the libertarian column rather than the authoritarian column so i'm kind of right down the middle libertarian it appears but not extremely libertarian just moderately yeah i am i guess i need to learn more about libertarianism i mean i heard ron paul talk about it a bunch and i didn't like what i heard basically it lightened up on the rules a ton.

And that sounds great on the surface. You're like, ah, fantastic, lighten up on the rules. Get rid of the EPA, right? Now you can do anything you want. But there's always court system. And they're like, well, what happens if people dump poison in your river and hurt you? Well, then you sue them. There was a question like that in the uh in the

quiz i took i cited toward it was something like should um basically should the government have the ability to punish corporations for things they do to the environment or something like that and i i agree that they should i think yeah because the alternative to that is literally like kyle versus duke. Good luck. You know? You could get a class action lawsuit going, maybe. It could be the cattle farmers of the Southeast versus Purdue or something. Assuming enough

people are hurt. Your father owns 100 acres. It might just be him. That wouldn't work. Yeah. They'd have to do some real damage for even one other person to be interested. Do we really want to punish that big corporation if they only hurt like one or two people? I mean, they're supplying us all with that delicious oil. If they spill a little bit on like dad's place, I mean, he'd be okay with it.

I'm sure they'd pay him off. You don't know that. They might be like, dude, we pay one guy off, we set a precedent. That's what tobacco companies didn't lose for decades decades they were they were undefeated it was like america and war ignore vietnam and um they just like what'd you say in korea did we lose korea uh it's a stalemate it's the that's why the dmz is still there they just it's a ceasefire i need to look into that. I didn't think our goal was ever to take the North.

I don't think we've really won a war since World War II. I mean, the Persian Gulf, that wasn't a war, really. That was, we just kind of, we really haven't won a war in a long time. It's not fair to define it like that, right? Like, it's like, so, for example north korea raid south korea we push them back we bring them to where they were to probably have my history wrong i don't know but um isn't that what we wanted to happen uh the first iraq war right where we were like they invaded kuwait and took it over we kicked them out of ku, pushed them back to where they belong. That's a win, right?

I mean, it just seems such a small scale, though. It feels like a battle from the whole thing in Iraq. We drove across that country in like four days or something like that. I don't know if it counts as a win for a war. Did we even declare war on them? Did we? I don't know. To declare war? I don't think so. I as a win for a war did we even declare war on them did we i don't know to declare war i don't think so i was like four years old i was six years old i was in high school

you know what happened so um the newspaper had a big headline like a few times in your life you'll see the giant font right on it on like where it takes the entire upper fold of a newspaper and um i had a teacher who happened to be a chopper pilot in vietnam and uh he brings he bought like a couple of those newspapers and he was going from room to room to room talking about being in war and you know if people don't know in america when as soon as we declare war, it's like your local football team made the Super Bowl. Everyone is raw. 98% approval rating, support the troops, flags attached to every car. We are so go team go when our country goes to war.

This is what we trade for! This is what we trade for! It's universally supported. Even the second Iraq war had a had a 98 or 99 approval rating like way up there there weren't even any weapons of mass destruction they weren't involved in 9-11 we were like fuck them fuck them get some brown people so uh brown people did 9-11 dude so uh that was the state of the nation at the time and this guy came in and he's like look if you're going to join the armed services for any length of time this is your

reality if you think you're going to go four years and there's not going to be any military conflict you are rolling the dice he's like kids are about to go to war in iraq and at the time they were supposed to have like the fourth largest army in the world something like that or fourth fifth something and uh we didn't it wasn't supposed to be a cakewalk like that like it was a real deal um it turned out we just overwhelmed them i don't know if it was our technology or bravery or strategy or what but it i think it was technology for for the most part i feel like that was the first time we unveiled a lot of shit that we hadn't played with ever before,

like the stuff that we'd been building all that stuff to fuck with the Soviets forever, and then the Cold War happened, and then we just kept on building it, and it just got scarier and scarier with the stealth stuff and all that. There's that, I don't know what they call it, but there's this highway where the i don't know what they call it but there's this uh this highway where like the iraqis were retreating away and we just went in and destroyed this column of vehicles that's like it's like highway of hell or something like that like the highway of death maybe like there's pictures you can find pictures of skulls on the all over it looks like that scene in

terminator 2 when when like judgment day has come and all the Los Angelians are, are just skeletons in their cars. It's like six or eight cars wide. It's not, don't imagine two cars on a road. It's huge. It's much wider than a highway. And it just goes for a long way of just burnt and destroyed vehicles. And it's everything from tanks to tanks and Jeeps and,

uh, you know, armored carriers to like Toyotas and bodies and bodies vehicles. But the bodies really hit home. There's one guy, he's hanging out the side of something with his arms here and his like chin on the side of a vehicle. And it's like, wow, that's death right there. Yeah, we owned their airspace really quickly.

Like they didn't get a chance to do it. We owned the airspace and we controlled it completely and just blew up anything we wanted to. And then our tanks just seemed to sweep through theirs and push across the country. This last one, like the... When was it?

2004? 6-ish, right? 4 is when Bush got in. Right? I'm trying to remember when he was... I think it was 2005 maybe when he was bombing. Like the 2005 maybe when he was bombing like like the uh shock and awe i think i feel like shock and awe was like 2005 so 9-11 was 2001 so i just feel like it wasn't four years to get that war kicked off oh yeah you know it was probably 2002 or three well i'm talking about the iraq war because there was a there was a gap between Afghan it we went to Afghanistan first

um Yeah, and here a little google it. We'll see yeah, let's see when this when was the shock and awe When did that happen when when there was just one day when they bombed the fuck out of Baghdad? And you could you could watch it live on TV Technically known as rapid dominance 2003 okay I remember watching that on TV in class it was it was uh it's like fireworks I guess for us at the time the first Iraq war was neat because it like I don't think of war was ever televised quite like that.

You know, there were literally reporters like there with live cams and satellite and like everything else was delayed. It was the next day's news. It was, you know, there you're watching the war on TV from home live, live war.

That's crazy. But it's our new reality, I guess. Have you seen all the reporters getting... So Brian Williams, of course, got in huge trouble for claiming his chopper was shot down when really he was in a chopper next to the one that got shot down.

And then they've been going after Bill O'Reilly mercilessly. Have you been following this at all? Yeah, I can't recall exactly what... Bill O'Reilly had said that some group of people had killed some other group of people what did he say i know one is he saw he said he saw a bunch of nuns killed and in reality like he just i i guess he used like like he just phrased it see bill o'reilly's good at speaking he's a great speaker he defends himself well

and he's like when i saw this they showed me photos of this and that's what i meant by i saw it it was like and anyone who heard you got the implication that you were there and now it's changed to like you saw like i i wouldn't say i saw the Iraq War when I was talking about TV. Like, you know, I don't know. If I was talking about photographs handed to me afterwards, like, yeah, I saw it. The implication was he was there. And there was another thing, too. I forget what it was.

But a couple of times he's implied he was kind of there, but really he wasn't there. And in my head, i just don't care like him and brian williams i don't think these offenses are big enough to get too riled up over um brian williams yeah chopper was shot down but really he was just in a chopper next to the one that said got shot down you're gonna sink him over this i don't know i if it seems like his network thought it thought it was a big deal i i don't know i if it seems like his network thought it thought it was a big deal i i don't know what other journalists and broadcasters think about it i feel like their opinion matters more than mine because if he were false right yeah exactly but it's just the nature

of what he said i'm talking about brian williams like if he had if he had lied about something that affected something or someone more than himself it would have been a bigger deal if he had if he had lied about something that affected something or someone more than himself it would have been a bigger deal if he if he had told us some lie about something he'd seen overseas that made uh the republicans look bad or the democrats look bad or he had claimed that no no i've been there on the ground and i've seen it it's like this and that and you're just like oh well i had no idea brian i trust you 100 you know if it'd been like that i could see but instead he's just saying the fish you call is bigger than it really was and i don't know i just don't care that much like i'm fine with it i think i'm a

little biased because when he goes on the daily show i like him a lot um but then again i'm doing it for bill o'Reilly too. I see where Bill O'Reilly's coming from. He just... I don't know. It's not enough stretching the truth to really bug me. Dude, everyone I knew in high school bullshitted way more than these guys did. How many people have told a story as if they were the central character when really they just witnessed it?

How many people have told a story where the fish was six pounds but it was really only four? This is stuff that people do. I could see teasing them about it, making a meme or whatever but to call for them to get

fired, I don't know. I just don't see it. What did they do to Brian Williams? Like six months? Is that right? I didn't know he was coming back. That's what thought i didn't think he got fired i thought he got suspended for like six months or something like that uh i don't know he his seems different to me than bill o'reilly's because it sounds like bill o'reilly it really could have been language mixed up it probably wasn't but it sounds like he didn't go so far as to say yeah my chopper was shot down by an rpg when in fact like the chopper next to me was shot at by an rpg and we were all forced to land it's a big difference in story i feel like i don't know you're right it is six months without pay i thought he was gonna be looking for a new job or something you're gonna say you got

shot you you should be able to show a scar that's just how it works hey i think i know what you're going to say you got shot, you should be able to show a scar. That's just how it works. Hey, I think I know what you're talking about. Brian Williams, just reckless journalism. Yeah, right. You should have a scar. I hear what you're saying. Sure. PKN number 30? I think so.

All right. Very good. Thanks, everybody. Yep.