Painkiller Already - PKN #303

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

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pkn 303 what's new gang and we go again got a haircut looking looks good yeah it gotta look it feels better my hair is uh i it blows me away that this doesn't bother girls my hair is like uh a heat retention problem and and like all day long i just feel like a pressure and a warmth that i don't like i would i think i'd enjoy being bald and uh from your from your length hair you feel a pressure and a heat i swear i do yeah that's insane it's like wearing a hat and uh i've never heard jackie or hope complain about this thing or any girls in general who have just like a lot more hair going on than i do but when i get it cut and i can feel like the slightest amount of breeze going in between things it my whole mood is lifted like i'm i'm meant to have short hair speaking of giving yourself haircuts although you didn't give

yourself one i was trimming up my pubic area with a razor today and i i nicked my scrotum today and I nicked my scrotum I think worse than I ever had and I was because like you know those things that you do where it's just like I've done this a million billion times you just get like off into the weeds thing I think I was thinking about like

what new guns I wanted in Red Dead Redemption or something and then I just just got my nutsack and I was like right about to take a shower I knew the cut was bad when I saw semen. Yeah. No, it was just blood,

but it was one of those like cuts where, you know, anywhere on your arm, nutsack, apparently anywhere where like you cut yourself and there's a couple seconds afterward where you're like, Oh, Oh,

thank goodness. I thought I cut myself. And then it starts bleeding. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it was. And then I had to do like a, cause I wanted to rinse off my, my bloody nutsack. And so I was like having to turn into the shower, but it starts bleeding. Yeah, that's what it was. And then I had to do like a, so I wanted to rinse off my bloody nutsack.

And so I was like having to turn into the shower, but it stings really bad. And so I'm like, I'm gonna turn around and just let it hit on my back and turn around again. And so I put some Neosporin down there and I think we're gonna be, I'm definitely not having sex for the next couple of days.

You know what I've been doing instead of shaving? Nair, nair down there. You gotta be careful. You know what I've been doing instead of shaving? Nair. Nair down there. You got to be careful. All right? You got to be careful. That was dangerous. There is a time window between nothing's happening and, oh, my God, oh, my God, what have I done? And that time window is about eight seconds.

All right? So it takes a little practice. All right? Now, the first time, you're going to come out early. This is like a John McAfee drug prescription. Yes. There's a prescription. Genius.

Bring it down for me a little bit more. You're saying it starts to burn like icy hot, or you have to wipe it off with it within eight seconds? I don't know. Aren't you adorable? No, it burns like drain cleaner, because that's closer to what it is. And what does it do? It melts the hair.

The hair just scrapes away like with a washcloth. Kyle, I was under the impression that you shaved with Nair. Is that not how it works? Oh, no. Nair is this... It comes out like a little pump. I got Nair for men. Is it like a shampoo consistency? More like lotion. More like lotion.

Very thick. Very thick. Like if you put it on your hand and turn your hand upside down, nothing would happen. Oh, you know what? I did use this once when i was like 15 at a friend's house who had sisters i saw it and i was peeing in the bathroom and i was like there's no way this shit really works and i put some on my arm it didn't burn but like i took a piece of toilet paper and wiped and like all the hair in that area just came right up comes right off so it comes off perfectly uh perfectly even you don't get any ingrown hairs, which every now and then I get an ingrown hair like on my gooch. And it'll just go it'll

just progress to a scary place where it's just very painful to scratch down there. Yeah, yes, almost like like marble BB ingrown hair just just just scary town just very painful. So I switched to nair and you've got to be careful. Like I said, you put it on. Do a few test runs, right? You put it on for 60 seconds, then you quickly scrub it off in the shower. Maybe you didn't get any of the hair, but you also didn't burn yourself.

We'll try again tomorrow. 90 seconds, right? What you don't do is what I did, and you just put it on for five minutes, and it's gone. Oh, God, it's gone and more. you just put it on for five minutes and it's gone it's go oh god it's gone and more but i'm smooth as what happened to your your dick and balls and everything like oh it burned it burned real bad it was i mean like the skin itself was it like oh man i'm not or doing anything for the next few days because i'm tender like sunburned just neos just covered everything in neosporin like i was a goddamn burn victim. And I think you heal really quickly around your genitals and your face and places like that.

So like 36 hours later, I was okay. But it burned real bad. But it's excellent for like removing hair. What did you go with? Did you have like a racing stripe above your dick? Do you have a downward pointing arrow? I was just getting the undercarriage, really. I was just getting mostly the balls and like some inner thigh hair and just getting that whole area just nice and slick you know what i'd like to

do that just everywhere yeah yeah you should i mean but you won't get any ingrown hairs that's the real bonus because like i bet if you shaved your chest and like things went bad it could be like all pimply and grow and like painful for for a month i'm sure i've never shaved my chest it seems like a bad idea tell me if i'm right about this the perceived bonus i have in my head is that it doesn't grow back stubbly right like fresh shave is pretty good and i would even call like five days after shave to be a pretty good scenario but somewhere in the middle it's stubble and that's the work you don't want to be there does nair completely

avoid that and it grows back as like baby hair like your first whiskers? No. This is melting the hair off at the top of the skin. Just like a razor would do but without scraping the top layer of your skin with a razor blade and causing ingrown hairs and infections. So it grows back

stubbly just like a razor. It does grow back stubbly but it takes longer to grow back. Well, then I'm going to stick with plucking them. One at a time. Oh, you don't spend six hours in the shower with tweezers? Isn't that what electrolysis is? They like individually zip zap every single hair follicle. It's like a big pair of tweezers

with an electric wire running out of it back to a machine and they grab each individual hair, zap the root, I suppose cauterizing it with that current, and then boink, pulling it out. Have you ever done it? No, it's permanent, expensive, and painful. You know what would be fun is to knock somebody out and as a prank do that to one of their eyebrows. I don't think it's totally permanent.

For example, you didn't think you could drink your own urine. Clearly. I've been drinking nothing but urine since Thursday. Who's the fool now? I remember us fighting about urine and for the life of me, I have no idea what side I took. The correct side is that you can drink all you want and it tastes good. So... Okay, then I stand by that.

Over time, like I'm gonna grab some long period of time. Over the course of four years, I think, Kyle, every hair on your head will fall out and be replaced by fresh ones, right? Like there's kind of a shedding that like never stops. So I think, and this is based on nothing that if I were to someone were to electrolysis your entire head, four or five years from now, or maybe less, you wouldn't be able to tell. But so you're missing out on the part that electrolysis isn't just plucking the hair, it's

electrocuting the root and killing it. So when a hair falls out, you're not developing a whole fresh new root and follicle? That same one is generating... You are, but it's not killing the fucking hole that creates the hair. I don't know what that thing's called. I thought that was a follicle, but I'm outside my depth here. It's the follicle. Okay. The hole that the hair comes out of is a follicle?

Yeah. Now we're on to Google. It's definitely a follicle. Yeah. Now we're on to Google. It's definitely a follicle. What other hair-related words do you know? Gel, combs, great clips. Okay. Yeah, it's a small

secretory cavity, sac, or gland. I knew it, dude. Or if we're talking botany, it's a dry fruit that is derived from a single carpal. His electrolysis is permanent. That's what we really want. I have a little

thing pointing to the follicle, and it points to the hair vagina, but I don't know for sure what it's referring to. Is that part of it? Permanent. It destroys the growth cells of the hair follicle, preventing treated hairs from ever coming back.

Yeah, that shit would be a ripoff if it came back. According to Electrology.com. They would know. Sounds reputable, right? Yeah. No more hair. Well, I mean, that's probably just as... There's no way Nair is good for you.

Burning off your hair. How's that good for your skin? Probably... Well, I mean, that's probably just as... There's no way Nair is good for you. Burning off your hair. How's that good for your skin? Well, I guess you would know. You put it all over your dick and balls and gooch. A moisture, you know, Neosporin, and then my regular moisturization procedures. Do you regularly use Neosporin as just a regular lotion? I use it when I shave, always,

to keep ingrown hairs from happening and like razor burn i don't get really bad ingrown hairs i do all right i'm unfortunate i've the couple i've had have you ever like had the kind where like the hair starts to grow and it like grows back immediately into itself which i guess instead of like but it's above the skin not below the skin like so you can see like a little arch oh yeah a little arch yep I've had that I've had that and I remember like that one of those I had like on my knee or so I don't remember where it was somewhere on my leg and at one point like I just noticed it it wasn't bothering me and I'm like what the fuck and I like took a little little pin like or a bent a paper clip to like stick it under the hoop and

like pull it up and then just like three times the length of the curled hair is just kinked up you know dark black hair and i was like man that's gross i've had ingrown hairs where they never made it back out of the follicle and they were just doing like arby's curly fries under the skin and getting all infected in there so it's like a pimple and it got really big i don't remember where it was again that's it's weird that i can't but i remember pop i know i got one like under my chin once like down here like like neck shaving area and when i finally popped it it was a ton of pus and that whole curly q hair came out and it was literally probably two and a half inches long like not exaggerating that's a disgust that's

so gross yeah yeah super gross i looked into electrolysis a little bit because i i guess i was just slow to be convinced i was wrong i think i was wrong but um uh it can cause discoloration if you do it wrong which because i was like if this is permanent why don't all those chicks with like little mustaches or sometimes they have hints of mustaches on the side why don't they do that it seems like for 85 dollars is they they have a lifetime solution wait hair of the or the skin discoloration like it'll give you a different color hair and it won't work or it's like oh no you got red patches on your skin now yeah now you fucked your upper that's trouble yeah so i don't know

how common those problems are but it would give me pause you see those ladies who tattoo their makeup on yes and i worry that you go you you better be sure of that look there's some chick who got her makeup tattooed on in the 80s and it is not working these days. No. There was an online, you know the meme pictures of it, this Hispanic woman who was clearly very excited the day she took the photo for what she wanted her eyebrows to look like forever and like she

looks like an absolute loon. Just constantly walking around there but like the eyes aren't open. Yeah, they're like this but the eyes aren't open enough. Sorry about your son. This is just a little aren't open yeah they're like this she looks like the eyes aren't opening up it's just just sorry about your son all throughout life you know i didn't even think about it what my eyebrows kind of i feel like i have eyebrow balding right like i would lend you some i'd give you some look at this is trimmed look at my eyebrows. No, I can't see them without glasses, but I presume They stop like halfway above my eyes. They get stop for right I either need to die these bitches or what if I just tattoo the underside a little bit to give you know

I'm saying you should go straight to the tattoo Straight cuz right now you got like the Hitler mustache of eyebrows the Hitler mustache of eyebrows. Yes I do! Poor audio listeners. See mine is like sometimes I'll be looking in the mirror and I'm like there's no way eyebrows are supposed to go that far down. It's like someone drew these on! It is and like I don't know about you guys maybe it's part of getting I'm not even 30 yet well i will be in less than a year but like my eyebrows i like the actual hairs in my eyebrows i'm finding some remarkably long ones now where like i'll go like this yeah you oink those and it's just like half an inch half an inch long it's huge in

eyebrow terms i started plucking those after one time time my barber took a comb and put it on my eyebrow and went, with the little beard buzzer thing. And I was like, well, you didn't even ask. He's like, oh, you wanted it. Believe me. Believe me. This is better. He just trimmed my eyebrows like lickety split with a comb and a fucking trimmer. I've had that done too. I do what you're describing, like where you push them up and then you can find the big ones and then, eyebrows like lickety split with a comb and a fucking trimmer. I've had that done too. I do what you're describing like where you push them up and then you can find the big

ones and then doink just get them out of there. I got two blonde ones or not blonde I guess like clear you know like those fucked up hairs that just never became a full hair. Yeah. Two of those over here that I get really long but it's not cool. I have one long eyebrow. My wife calls it my horn and even if you pluck it it not cool. I have one long eyebrow. My wife calls it my horn. And even if you pluck it, it comes back.

I just imagine you leaning into Kiss and it pokes her right in her eyeball. Colin has a thing. It's kind of frustrating. If you have an imperfection, like my father had a skin tag at one point. Everyone gets a pimple here and there or my horn. And he wants to fix it for you. Like you try to pull that baby off. It's like, no, no!

Okay, first of all, we're at the mall and this is socially inappropriate. Second, I want to choose how I handle my imperfections. I don't need Dr. Colin working on me. Guess what? I like the way it looks. So, what are you talking about? Like, your hair just grows straight out?

I have one eyebrow but eyebrow sounds like the collection i'm talking about a hair that is the eyebrow and it doesn't lay down it kind of grows forward and it seems like i don't know every six weeks or so i give it a pluck and she comes back this is a while ago but it was like a we must have talked about eyebrows years and years ago on the podcast because I remember seeing comments on their YouTube video, and it was like, damn, that little horn thing, that little spike has been eyebrow hair the whole time? I thought Taylor had a mole over his eye.

It's like, no, it's just a bunch of hair that grows into a spike. As the camera gets more and more HD, they can see what the scoop is. It is. Dude, my future is if I don't keep these eyebrows under control, I'm going to be one of those fucking maniac looking World War II veterans. How about, you know, they're fighting the Tojo's over there and it's just a thicket. Which doesn't get a bit of a thicker with age. I've gone the other way.

Taylor, if we could combine forces, we'd be a handsome fuck. We couldn't get worse. Taylor, I don't want to dox you.'m careful but what season is your birthday spring spring spring yeah so i just recently turned 29. gotcha and uh yeah it's it's really kind of the same yeah the same it's 28. i imagine 30 is going to be like oh man i feel like kind of a loser and this is kind of sad because you know that all the years are going to be sprinting forward like faster at 30 you know because every for every year every year goes by faster because you have a longer you know backlog to look back on his point of comparison so like the fact that like i can tell years are going

faster now in my late 20s first when i was 14. It spooks me for the future. How faster you're going to be going when I'm 50, when I'm 60. I actually see a lot of parallels between your life and mine. And you start off, there's like this professional thing, et cetera. And I pop on your Twitch stream now, there's 800 people. A year from now, I think you're in a different income bracket and you're 30 and you're like, this shit ain't so bad, really. That's the fucking goal. Like, I'm glad you brought up Twitch. I'm loving Twitch. Thanks for the raid the other day.

I'm having a ton of fun with it. I'm pulling a lot more viewers than I thought I would for the most part. But, like, you know, part of it, like like the reason i'm throwing myself so far into it during this quarantine thing is like a little bit of a panic of like the lots of companies are going under especially lots of mid to small size consumer products companies especially premium brands now you know of which you know if all my clients drop me i'm kind of fucked and so i'm like shit bitch this is a very very likely scenario to happen and then in the coming year unless there's a big rebound in the economy i sincerely hope

there's a big rebound i'm not banking on it though and so like if shit does go down very distinct possibility i'm mr full-time internet twitch guy in in a year because what the fuck else would i do if i got you know laid off or fired or whatever let go from from my clients like i'm gonna go out into that job market and try and get something shave that beard start parking those cars buddy taylor hey uh hey enterprise remember me are you looking for a fake manager because i've been working on accents for five years now. I have two years of pretend manager under my belt. I have two years, but I've been practicing in my off time.

I got Carlos Mugambo, Asian dude. I got all kinds of management staff here. I can escalate to me. Why will you not buy the insurance for the automobile? I feel like this is very uncomfortable. You're a white man. Why do you not want to buy the, why will you not buy the insurance for the automobile? Like, still very uncomfortable, you're a white man, clearly, why do you say this to me? The parallels between us, I still see more. It's around, I don't know, the end of,

I'm making it political, I don't mean to, but like the end of Bush, the beginning of Obama, that like recession. It's the political bit of time, yeah. Yeah, right, but maybe I could have said 2008 or 9. But anyway, I had a diversified income at that same time. And Cisco was laying people off. I'm like raising my hand.

But it also felt good to know that like if one of these things falls apart, there's still food on the table. Like diversified income is nice. And like I have fun like diverse income is nice and like i have fun like in the business world and everything like it's really satisfying when you get a big win and you can tangibly see the results but like it's not nearly as fulfilling as doing this stuff like podcasting with you guys and doing this and twitch like you get to set your own hours you get to do your own shit like i guess if you're a lazy bitch who doesn't want to do it that often it

could be hard but like you know once you kind of put your mind to something, you kind of have some of this is hitting close to home. I'm just kidding. The lazy bitch. No, no. Oh, but I think that the corporate experience you have adds to the story of who is Taylor. And I like that. You know, I think that's true with me, too, that, you know, if you had just hit social media success at 19 and never left your room, you'd be a different story than you are now. Yeah. You had that T Martin money.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, you know, T Martin and I were, we drove to Joliet together a couple times, talked about our big plans on YouTube. One of us really crushed it. I'll let you be the one to decide which one it was. And the other one played zombies over the same game plan over and over.

And no, Twitch is so, like, I wish I had started this years ago. It's just I never watched this stuff for entertainment. But this is so much fucking easier than YouTube was. You just go, what am I going to do? I'm going to fuck around and be a cowboy and do silly voices and talk about how I'm going to rape the townspeople. And if they say something mean to me, I'll just, what the fuck are you on about, bitch?

I'll rape you. Bang, bang. It's a fun game. That's all you do. That's what the game's about? That's what I'm making it about. There was a woman who fell off her horse and i went over there and i off i i opted to antagonize her and she was like help me help me i done fell off my horse and i walk over and arthur's like

first time riding your dumb she's you know i I don't like that. That's not nice. You get this, young man. You get this horse off of me right now. The authorities will hear about it. And I just go, that was the wrong move, ma'am. And boom, blow her head off. And then robbed her. But man, Red Dead is fun, man.

But anyway, that's what you do on Twitch. You just goof around. It's fun. Yeah, it's Cowboy GTA. Yeah, yeah. I still still it's not up there with gta for me yet because gta's dialogue is so much funnier because it's meant to be funny but red dead is still really good you said you finished it or that you played it kyle because i know you have i've never played it i've watched a bunch of it i've watched videos yeah i've never

played it i've played it no no no definitely not me oh okay no i of a Fallout fan. That's the RPG that I just put lifetimes of effort into. Just so many playthroughs of Fallout New Vegas and Fallout 3 and even a little Fallout 4. A good bit of Fallout 4. Are any of those games still big? Or did that community kind of peter out after 76

sucked? It's got a lot of nostalgia to it. Right now, I'm told that 76 is pretty good now. They've really changed it a lot. They've added a lot of NPCs and a lot more dialogue. It's quite good now.

I bet especially if you don't have mod support, you have to buy their mods I think. In any case, I hear it's pretty good now, but I would still opt to just play fall out new Vegas Cuz that's the best one. What have you been doing for entertainment lately? Kylie? I know you play a little Tarkov, but not a ton I mean what I was watching Jack Ryan today that John Krasinski show on Amazon. It's really good It's got bunk from

The wire in it. He's a he's a central character you know the big i've seen maybe the first season yeah second season's been out for quite some time i've just i've been putting it off but i started on it yesterday and i'm really digging it it's really fucking good they're in venezuela i'm watching a little wire i'm playing a bunch of tarkov a bunch of tarkov off stream which was kind of where my joke with tay was like, if you're a lazy bitch and you don't stream. But yeah, I guess I did level up. My Tarkov play style is kind of interesting. So I think most people, you put some money in their hand, they buy better kits.

They do better in the game. They buy better kits. They do better games. I do a lot of budget runs. If you put money in my hand i invest in like the future you know my bitcoin farm should have three gpus but i have uh friends who are not even near having a bitcoin farm so they gave me seven more they're like what do you you stick them in yours they're just sitting in my junk box um my scav box is going to be done in about 12 hours, so I paid for it all.

And soon I should be rolling in the passive income so I can lose kits and not have gear fear and stop running guns that make scavs blush. I'm very excited about the passive income I've got coming soon. Good. Yeah, that's a cool part of the game. Yeah, there's a lot of different ways to play it. I don't know. I'm digging Tarkov Talk. And you got, like, what, two months, three months until the next wipe? good yeah that's a cool part of the game yeah there's a lot of different ways to play it uh

i don't know i'm digging talking you got like what two months three months until the next white no it'll be a very long time probably it'll be a minimum of six months but it could be a year so yeah this is just my second wipe i don't have that many uh wipes behind me i'm told that taylor would have been right a couple years ago that they used to wipe like every two or three months but everyone seems to be longer and we're at like six to seven months now. Yeah. Wipes are cool. Any game that has wipes,

it really keeps it fresh. That's one of the reasons Rust is the greatest game ever created because you can get in seven-day wipe cycles where you just grind for seven days. Like imagine like the hardest you've ever grinded at Tarkov and I know you have but it's all but it's you know it's gone in seven days and so you're trying to like hit that peak performance

level on day four so you can ruin everybody else within sight you know but there's a real technological curve in that game. So if by day four you have your AK-47s, your RPGs, and your C4, and your good armor, and there's multiple pieces of it, you've grinded so goddamn hard to get that in four days. Even if you've got four men working 12-hour shifts, you still might not get it unless you're really good at the game and lucky and so like if you hit that day four you've got everything you just start ruining everybody else while they're asleep like like 4 a.m 5 a.m i would set an alarm i'd wake up and be like all right

boys everybody else would too you'd see everybody come on discord blink blink blink just four guys appear online at 5 a.m in the morning who have no business being up at 5 a.m and was like all right yeah what are you guys ready yeah this is what we trained for and we just two they've got these two-man helicopters in the game these gyrocopters and you know you got a pilot and a passenger and we'd load up all of our best gear, as many rockets and explosives and our best AK and our best armor gear. And we'd have a target in mind that we've been scouting it for days. We know the motherfuckers who live there. We dislike them. We've we've we've threatened them.

Probably they've threatened us plenty of times. Definitely, because we're kind of assholes. And we just land on right on top of their base start blowing straight into it and the the clock is running because audio in that game is incredible so you you'd launch a rocket they hear it miles away and that's the biggest dinner bell that's ever been rung is when an rpg goes off because the rp each rocket is so valuable. Like, you have to mine. It depends on the server, but, like, you might have had to mine for two hours to get one rocket, one explosive, like, grenade for your rocket launcher. It might be two man hours.

Well, I got 40 of them on me. Like, we're launching them like they're candy, just blowing into their base, and then you quickly have to take over their base by destroying their tool cupboard which is like the keys to the kingdom and put your own tool cupboard down now you own everything that's there then you have to see that now you have building privilege you can build back and seal the base up so that someone else can't come in like hyenas and take over your kill and they do they try. When they hear those booms, they're coming to counter raid. When you finally get that thing sealed up and it's, you put the blocks in place, the steel or whatever, upgrade it all, the armored, it's the biggest sigh of relief.

And you hear four grown men start giggling as they look over all the treasures that are now ours. And the bodies of our enemies are right there they're literally asleep when you fall when you when you log off your character is still there he just falls asleep so he's laying there in his little bed and you can kill him at your leisure with a jackhammer or a machete or something horrific so when they log back in insult to injury to just leave them there alive, naked and they wake up in an empty room. Locked in their own base so they can't get out.

That's funny. We do that sometimes, yes. Yeah, like they've got doors and they have the door codes but it doesn't matter, we blow their doors down. But we'll leave one door and they'll try to go out their door. They'll open their front door and now there's just a wall. It'd be like if I went to your house and when'll open their front door and now there's just a wall it'd be like if i went

to your house and when you open your front door there's just a brick wall right up right up right outside of it now and they're just like oh no oh no they really us that's called griefing when you when you don't just look down and rob them you ruin them is it looked down upon or just like a fun part of the game it It's a part of every game. The game is so malicious and so mean spirited that it's very commonplace. It's, I would say we did it 75% of the time. Yeah. I don't want Tarkov to get voice over IP.

I don't either. No. Rust has it. It's, it's hurt my feelings before. You don't want it to get voice over ip i don't either no rust has it it's it's hurt my feelings before you don't want it to get voice what yeah so when you could talk to each other with your actual microphone that they call it voip or voice over ip and uh like at its best we're like you know there's a bad guy in charlie sector watch your six whatever like that's the that would be my dream of it the reality people playing that fucking toto song trolling being idiots running around

with no gear that you could steal from them just probably not anybody being like racist or anything though right no nothing like that i can't imagine gamers doing such a thing no it it'll ruin your stream too like like there's plenty of people who will like rage streamers well they would they would I can't imagine gamers doing such a thing. No. It'll ruin your stream, too. There's plenty of people who will raid streamers. Well, they would just make it a toggle thing where people like Pastilli could just... No. Sometimes, in the middle of a raid,

you really can't do that. It's so high stakes that they often have to end up muting their audio. They're trying to ruin the video. They're trying to ruin the stream. Maybe you could have a friends only voice over ip but how do they do it now how are they ruining his videos now if there isn't even this feature i'm discussing rust oh russ still yeah rust has that feature the the voice over where you i i i've got a hot key to t but you know it, it's, it's PC gaming, but you know, I press T and

now, and it's, it's pretty cool. You know, it's, it's like real life yelling, you know? So if you're close, you hear me really well. And as you get farther away, it slowly becomes this fairly audible thing. So like, you can hear people screaming, help, help. And we'll be like, someone needs our help boys. And we literally ride our horses in to go like help some poor guy with a bow and arrow who's been harassed by like three bigger kids with

crossbows and you know it's that's the greatest game that's ever been made i'm telling you some of the experiences i've had in that game like some of the you make your own fun the game is as fun as you make it and nobody is streaming r. There's only 5,000 people watching the whole category. I thought it would be more popular than that. Oh, it used to be. That's surprising. Yeah, that's horrible numbers. That's the danger of getting attached to a particular

game. Although it seems like League of Legends is always in the top. League of Legends and Grand Theft Auto 5 roleplay are two that are always in the top. League of Legends and Grand Theft Auto V roleplay are two that are always in that top category and just chatting. COD had a few lean years, but I feel like you could have been riding the COD wave since 2009 to 2020.

Syndicate is always pulling big numbers. Yeah, big AAA titles like like that are gonna be a pretty good mainstay they're gonna have like lean periods but they're gonna hold out Rust is so niche I don't know why Rust is doing so poorly right now I wonder I wonder if WoodyCraft would have had a like I never even considered a

weekly reset or make it you know two weekly resetters like we used to reset every it was every six months but we had two servers so it was kind of every three you know, two weekly resetters. Like we used to reset every, it was every six months, but we had two servers. So it was kind of every three, you know, and I wonder if players would have enjoyed that. The way we did it with every three,

every time we reset, there were some significant changes, you know, new gameplay mechanics, new things to buy, new, like it, it was notable to people who were experts in the game.

But if you reset every week, that expectation would be different. You know, it's the same thing, right? We'd put the copy back. Yeah. notable to people who are experts in the game. But if you reset every week, that expectation would be different. It's the same thing, right? We'd put the copy back. Yeah, maybe some minor tweaks to resources and such. If we're still talking about Rust, I'm not as versed in Minecraft stuff. I preferred the week cycle because we were learning the game for so long. It's so hard to learn that game.

There's so much to learn i mean it's more than more than tarkov and i'm aware of how much there is learned in tarkov it's it's outrageous with the ammo types and everything there's multiple ammo types in in uh in rust and you have to craft each bullet so it's like you don't you don't purchase those bullets you're making them you're crafting every everything that you have in that game um you find like one and you're like we have one now now we can research it and so you expend a resource to quote unquote learn the ability to craft more of the item in doing so you destroy that item so like you find your first ak-47 you spend 750 scrap which is is a lot of scrap by the way if you hit a barrel and spend like 30 seconds hitting a barrel you might get

five five scrap and you need 750 and and it's so much time so much time and And keep in mind, this is just to research the AK-47. There are about 15 different items that all cost 750 scrap that you really do need to get researched. Everything from certain building materials that are armored wall, that's not required. Everything from a face mask, instead of a helmet you have like a ballistic face mask so if you get shot in the face it most bullets will ricochet off every piece of your armor has to be researched the same way all of your weapons the optics for your weapons like you'll find a sniper rifle but you don't have a goddamn scope there's only two scopes in the game

and they're hard to find see that's this seems so much more frustrating than rewarding, the way you're describing it. When you get it, there's huge amounts of boredom. And then like, I say boredom, every little, like you'll go outside the base dressed up literally like an Indian or something with primitive gear and a pickaxe, and maybe like a revolver, like a six-shooter. And you're being careful with your bullets because they're expensive so maybe you got maybe you got 16 enough to reload once

and at first you're like if i die who cares but after 30 minutes of hitting like stone ore or sulfur ore and like doing that for that's 30 minutes of your time have been invested into what's in your backpack if i die now i lose 30 minutes of my time and all of the shit i i brought out with me and all the shit i've acquired so slowly the tension gets ramped up higher and higher and higher you know what i do when i want a gun and red dead redemption 2 is i go to the gun store and i buy the gun that i like and then i don't spend any time hunting around. Some people are even saying hey, you should go in the woods with your bow and hunt and get rare pelts. I don't give a

fuck about rare pelts. If I was playing this not on stream, that might be something I could autistically do is get really into pelt trading, but not this way. You look like a pelt trader. I do look a little bit like that. You do have a little pelt trader. With a coonskin cap. please get a coon skin for your stream go to Amazon and

start cosplaying as your guy dude I'd love to see you in like a moccasin um like like vest and then the entire stream I talk like this I play an Indian character can you do a female Indian character because I like where we're headed i'm doing my the only way i know very clipped i'm gonna stop talking about rust i want to play now you try try red dead if you're looking for something more casual that you don't have to jump in with both feet looking for something casual i don't like casual games huge chunks of time into you don't like being able to rob trains and then your compatriots who are also evil are telling you that you're going overboard no honestly arthur there's no reason to harm any when i die i wanted to hurt like i want to care when I die and when I win that I want to

be just just thrilled I want to be exuberant post like like post raid and Tarkov like if you're if you go in there and you kill glue car and all of his boys and your backpacks full of full of high-end gear and you've killed two or three players and two or three scab bosses or our bodyguards you're pumped when you start sliding all that expensive gear into your inventory, into your different boxes, organizing it, you're like, oh, yes, sir, that was a win as you drag each little thing into your inventory. I totally get it.

I get it. It's just the way you guys talk about those games, so time intensive. And those little fleeting moments. Tarkov is not fleeting Tarkov you Tarkov you're gonna have a blast every I mean the time between games if you've got so some people aren't good at managing time and Tarkov and like you're going to raid you'll go you'll go in play for 30 minutes 40 minutes but you might die in the first five five minutes and so you're just

sitting there waiting on your friends to get out. So when when it's time to go again, it takes me two, three minutes, like, like, like to get the shit into my inventory and be like, Alright, I'm in the lobby. Send me an invite. Let's go. Always dilly dallying. I don't like dilly dallying. I struggle with that socially sometimes, know like yeah i get my together

i want to be back in a game uh i feel like if i'm streaming it's better for the stream if uh even if i'm not streaming like oh i'm trying to play no one ranks up in their hideout like let's get this going and just be like hi you know hey just you know everyone's in the lobby but you yeah what i think saying that for no reason i'm realizing now that i would you guys would not like it if i played these games with you because i'm the other way where i'd be like just who gives a about the score let's talk to the chat for billy whatever it is see it's different though like well you would either get on board or you would have to go but like at first you know like i always understand if somebody's brand new to the

game like i'm happy to explain every nuance, every little, little thing to them. But if you're one of the guys that I've been playing with for a year, like, dude, where are you right now? You're in your hideout installing light bulbs. Like, like we're ready to fucking go. Like, like we're ready to fucking go. We're all waiting. Let's go.

Let's knock out 10 raids tonight. Let's go. Yeah. out 10 raids tonight let's go yeah the other frustration did not look not like you click a button and it's all done we're that's did you go too deep into tarko there's another thing right let's say kyle has a mission where he needs to kill 10 ai scads with a silenced weapon right so i So I don't have that mission. Kyle gets to kill these things. They're a little, they're not too bad. Once you play the game for a while,

Kyle kills these things. If I run ahead and shoot them and be like, what could I do? They were shooting at me. Woody, stop it. You know the score. We all agreed to this. Stop running in front of everyone. So now Kyle has to run it Mach one to

be ahead of five people to be the first of five people to be the first guy to or else everyone takes that I'll play solo I don't need this shit I play solo to get missions like that done it makes me and what he gets a little hot under the collar that's not even true I know and I don't say a word but I just get a little hot under the collar because I said he got a little hotter in the collar. I If I'm hotter than the color and I don't say any words out loud that doesn't count that's how that's how it works Well, I didn't know that so that doesn't count also well i didn't know that so that doesn't count also yeah yeah but and and this you know i'll just shoot him in the legs oh whoopsie daisy killed him yeah no kidding because shooting people kills them in this game that's how that goes

yep yep i you know i i don't mind that shit so much um with the taking of the scabs like i'm i'm never in too big of a rush to get all the tasks done. You're not really a quester, a tasker guy. Last time I was, I kind of rushed through them all. Not all, obviously. I didn't care about the cap. Like fetch quests are more like, hey, you have to defeat the Bingham gang

over on Pike Peak. It's everything from go find this key, go open this truck, find the bronze pocket watch in it. Good job. And get out alive. Some of them are like,

kill 10 AI on this map with this gun. While wearing this hat. That's kind of fun. Except for the hat part. The hat part seems annoying. Often it's like, hey, come underprepared to a gunfight and win 15 times doing that.

And you're like, ah, okay, if I have to. But that I don't mind so much. Some are like, hey, learn this little aspect of the game. I'm talking about the gunsmith quests. And that I appreciate. I like what it forced me to learn. So that's cool. Other ones like, hey, get this pocket watch from here.

They forced me to learn a map. I think that's really cool. What I dislike is the RNG tasks. When they say, Woody, find three flash drives in raid and escape with them. We're not telling you where they are. Hey, look, there's like a tenth of a percent of a chance they're on a computer. And good luck luck so you just play again and again and again some lucky fools find two in one raid it's one in a million not

only have i never found a flash drive but no one i've ever played with has found a flash drive this wipe like while i was there the fact that you've never found one suggests that perhaps you don't know what they look like. Oh, you're adorable. No, I know what they look like. I know where their most common spawns are, which is by the guitar on the tent on the western side of dorms three. And where's the other spot?

Oh, in the blue van, also on dorms by the factory area. I know that they spawn in front of computers they are so rare now i have checked five or six hundred computers so do you think they make it intentionally rarer at the beginning after a wipe so they incentivize people staying on that oh it's i mean i mean they will tinker with the with spawn rates of things a little bit mid-white but like in general these things are just very hard to find i i want to say the last time around i everyone i've played like it's been no one has ever found one in a group while i was there ever that's crazy yeah you play a lot of customs oh no no that's not true i find them on shoreline okay i've been i've been looking

for them mostly well customs because there's some, the spawns there, the one by the guitar in the tent and the one in the blue van are supposed to be super common. Like so common, they're almost guaranteed to be there. Zero percent chance in my time, in my experience. Maybe somebody's beating you there. Oh no. You can tell if it's opened or not. You can tell if the door is open.

You can tell if the computer's been searched. All right. So that's one part of it. Well, it won't be in the computer. They're in front. Don't tell me I'd Kyle I know I'm just saying you can't tell about 1,800 hours in this game so far I know what a flash drive looks like. Well, you're saying you've never found one. I'm this wipe Okay, um and then Oh, and then on interchange, there's like I don't know 25 computers so you can check on Interchange, there's like, I don't know, 25 computers. So you can check them.

It's like a high, you don't waste a ton of time with checking all those computers. No one has ever seen one in a raid where I've been present. Yeah, I found a good bit of them on Shoreline in the administration's building. There's that little second floor office where there's about four, maybe five PCs. And literally probably every fifth rate of find one. Like, like, have you found any this wipe? I haven't played last shoreline this white. So I don't know, I've only played maybe two or three games there.

And I have not found one there. The community is complaining about it. People are making YouTube videos about how to finally find this. I watched the guy he's like, I a thousand computers and never saw one good god and uh you know so then i started playing customs going to these areas of the tent and the band and uh you know he's like so i would just i'd go in i'd check those two places i'd get out run through after run through after run through he's not killing anything he's not looking for anyone he's not even really playing the game he's just getting run through checking these spots again and He's not killing anything. He's not looking for anyone. He's not even really playing the game.

He's just getting run throughs, checking these spots again and again and again, trying to find them. And I guess he eventually did. I, on the other hand, upgraded my hideout so I could start crafting them. I was about to say, like, you know. I finished all of them.

Get that workbench. It's either intelligence center or workbench. I don't recall. I'm sure you know. Intelligence center two. And I've done it. Now there's actually two tasks that require it. One's from Jaeger and one's from maybe Ski or Peacekeeper.

Yeah. They're all done. But still, I've never seen one in Raid. And no one I've ever been with has seen one in Raid. Yeah. They are easy to pass over. I've seen people pass over them. I've always got to make myself look.

Because they're just sticking out of the computer. I hear you. Yeah. But in my case, that's why i'm there oh i hear you i believe you yeah yeah have you guys ever played still gaming different game though have you guys ever played a game called dead by daylight no but i've watched a fair amount of it on youtube and on twitch yes and uh there's some expertise I haven't played it yet. That's the one where it's kind of like a graphic horror movie and maybe one guy plays the murderer and five or six sort of run. I think you need

to kill him a couple times. You hang him up before you really finish him. I've watched a good bit of gameplay from that. It's kind of silly. It's like horror movies. It's like horror movies. It's like the killers from horror movies and its settings from horror movies like the camp, the kids camp, or the

foggy neighborhood, like Nightmare on Elm Street style. I think you do Freddy, Jason, and maybe Michael Myers. I'm sure they've added a bunch. I think I read that there was a lot of pay to win or microtransactions maybe in that game game there's not a single player mode of it no oh i thought there was a single player mode not that i know i mean maybe there is but what's

popular is that a human being is controlling the serial killer and he's he's rather slow but he's sort of unstoppable just like the killers in like horror movies and you and like three of your friends or something like that are trying to escape him and trying to run away and sort of home alone style hitting him you know trying to slow him down that's a great way to describe it home yeah i put light bulbs on the floor i haven't played it i've only watched it but it's my understanding that every serial killer has his own like special ability to help him get the best of these other people the wraith i think i have this right he can turn invisible and move quickly so like if i'm the bad guy and you're trying to stay alive i can turn invisible pop up right behind you but then i ring

a bell and go into slow mode when it's time to kill you and you can see me so like you start darting away when you get warned and it it seems pretty well balanced uh of course the guys on Twitch who stream it are usually really good at it yeah it's a real cat and mouse type scenario but it's multi what I've always seen was multiplayer I if it has a single player I'm completely unaware of it uh but but you could jump in as a solo and treat it like it's single player oh and it was more like it helps me to learn games and figure it out if there's like a story mode first or something where it's just that ain't happening yeah okay well i guess i'll just yeah maybe that would be like trying to learn the story

of call of duty and team deathmatch that's fair yeah maybe it might sometimes my chat's really helpful you know i'll spawn into a map and it can take me like 15 seconds to orient myself i'm like guys am i headed towards the gas station and they you know they come through and tell me my chat will lock on to the first misleading lie that someone says in chat in response and they will all parrot it. I saw a prostitute twice in Grand Theft Auto 5

because I came back from going pee and I was like, alright, what are we doing now? Oh yeah, we're going to start the next mission. I need to go to Trevor's house so I can meet up and get the shotgun or whatever it was. And they're like, no dude, you have to hit up the hooker place first. You have to go to the strip club and get a hooker first, get a blowjob. And I was like, that's fucking weird.

And then, are you guys fucking with me? Are you fucking with me? And at that point, there's like 700 people like, no, you gotta do it. You gotta fucking do it. And so I go there and I do it. And then they're like, a couple people are like, ha ha ha, you're not allowed to just get blowjobs on Twitch on GTA. That's terms of service. You can only go there if it's integral to the mission. And I were like, ha, ha, ha. You're not allowed to just get blowjobs on Twitch on GTA.

That's terms of service. You can only go there if it's integral to the mission. And I was like, but I was fooled. I was fooled into this. And then I accidentally hit X instead of B, and I got myself a second blowjob. That's a ridiculous rule. So you can get the blowjob if it's integral to the mission or the strip club that's what they said or i was reading through the terms of service and it's like

all right if you just want to go into the gta5 strip club and sit there and watch for no reason they don't like that no thank you but if it's like you got to go in there and murder all the strippers and steal the gold watches, you're allowed to do that. That's totally fine. So you're allowed to sit there with your titties out and paint them as long as it is integral to the story. But you can't just – no, you can actually just pull your titties out regardless. That's right. Yes.

What am I missing? Taylor. Oh, you're a man. I really want you to play one of those porn hub games they advertise on the side i've never bought one but it seems like there'd be all kinds of shit integral to the mission there that would be hilarious that is if i won the lottery tomorrow and never had to work again or potentially rely on streaming for some income i would absolutely stream porn games.

That would be hilarious. I mean, I already told you guys my idea. I ordered a slide whistle off Amazon. I ordered a recorder. And I'm going to try and ruin the ASMR category. Because the biggest people in there only get like a thousand viewers like if it's me fucking around i can pull that but also like i don't know how twitch would look at it that's that's a new thing like i gotta you know i like the way you're thinking taylor i like that you're hitting it hard it's cool hitting it hard coming up with ideas i like I had no idea like how much shit you just do on Twitch

like I've been watching 60 days in and just like every couple minutes when something retarded happens you pause it make some jokes and then play it so be honest like do you enjoy every second of it or sometimes at the end of the episode you turn off the the lights and you're like all right now I can decompress I try not to keep myself going with it like after i would naturally want to stop because then i feel like i don't want to turn like if it ever became a job it would be a job like i see motherfuckers like destiny on there 10 hours a day sometimes it's crazy but like at this point in time like if i'm really bored and not feeling it i'm not popular enough that i can put out shitty tier content and so i'll end it i'd

rather have no content out there than shitty boring me being lazy content but for the most part yeah i really really enjoy it the only time like i'll kind of not enjoy it is if like i'm four and a half hours five hours into playing red dead or grand theft auto or whatever and it's like 11 and i'm ready to go to bed and then someone will gift like 10 subs and then I'll be like damn it I was planning to stop in like the next two minutes but I'm going to look like a real dick and I'll feel like a dick if I don't go for like at least

another half hour after that guy it's kind of how I see it how about you it goes both ways you know sometimes it's not even about streaming it's about the game. It's like Tarkov giveth and Tarkov taketh away. And sometimes it takes and takes and takes.

And I'm like, I just want to stop. I just want to stop. Like this isn't getting better. Chael Sonnen describes this like it happens to fighters. You know, they're four rounds in. 20 minutes of this fight hasn't gone their way they know exactly how the fifth round is going I mean they're hoping for the best but Jesus they answer the bell wishing that they didn't have to and sometimes that's how I feel in Tarkov

it's like oh I feel a little wobbly there sure is a lot of room in the stash now and uh it's been a hard one so that's a plus how did you see that dana um i guess it leaked and then dana confirmed the location of fight island i i know abu dhabi and i've seen the like people have theorized like exactly which island it is yeah it's yaz island um he did an interview earlier today oh he could and yeah yeah so they're gonna do um a main card there and then like three fight weeks um in a row and at the end of the interview interview he goes oh and yes there is an octagon on the beach i was like yes yes that's gonna be so cool i want bruce buffer to dress up like raiden or something like that i i'm really excited for raiden to see them fight him

i like the raiden idea i personally had him in more of a i don't know what are the shirts called with the flowers on them and the like a hawaiian shirt yeah oh no i want to go with the mortal combat theme oh because of the fight island dude that would i so i like your idea more than mine i like it yeah um i don't know if i to me i look i know nothing about viruses and such from what i can tell it's not so much that covid19 went away it's that we all got tired of its and decided to ignore it i don't know if i'm right on this or not but that that's been my general impression yeah i'm kind of with you there and i was picturing like it goes away i was picturing like

you know because i'm stupid i was picturing fucking Gilligan's Island or something where you could, oh yeah, there's the other side. It's an established island resort that is very populated with hotels and casinos and shit. But they are going to have 10 square miles that is just them with their own hotel,

with their own fighting area, facilities. Is it going to be a... Initially, I thought Fight Island was a measure to combat COVID, which almost isn't needed anymore. Like, you know, basketball's returning, ice hockey's returning, et cetera. The UFC's kind of going again, no crowds,

but do they need a Fight got fight island i don't think they need it but i think it's going to be a huge ratings boom i i'm i'm all about seeing them fight on the beach presumably outdoors i don't know i hope so for the aesthetic of mortal kombat um i'm all about it and the fighters are excited for it too. So I think it'll get more views. So when somebody makes content and you consume that content, you're always like, yeah, you should do that. Hey, guys, I'm thinking of cutting off all my hair and tattooing something profane under it. That'd be fucking funny.

Do it, do it. I have nothing invested. I don't have any skin in the game. I'm just going to watch you make a fool out of yourself that's kind of how I feel about fight island Dana White's like hey I think we're gonna invest a hundred million dollars we're gonna build this facility out there hotels this that the other thing okay do it do it do if it doesn't work just go back to Vegas I have no skin in the game that I think fight island will flop I could be

wrong happens all the time but I think that fighters traveling to Abu Dhabi to fight will be an unpopular thing. Maybe this time. Oh, everybody's so excited to do it. Oh, yeah. Now they are. I think it'll be a fad. Oh, I don't think it's going to go on forever or anything. It's a big investment.

Mm-hmm. Or is it? We'll see. I don't know. God knows what deal they made with uh with the royals of abu dhabi right or whoever to like to do the whole thing there's probably it's probably going to be like ufc 251 brought to you by abu dhabi resorts and casinos come to beautiful abu dhabi we don't have a plague here here's my prediction uh part of the negotiation involves Khabib fighting there Khabib is the most popular Muslim athlete on planet Earth and Abu Dhabi I'm sorry they've announced the car so maybe in the future yeah

yeah well they haven't announced all the I mean it's not a one-time thing i bet they get khabib on fight island because that's huge in the middle east yeah that'd be cool yeah i mean but it's not like they're putting butts in seats anywhere i i forgot all the things that i bought for my my stupid asmr plan stream and so i went back to my amazon history it was like uh oh i gotta buy a kazoo and maybe a harmonica but i spent on this order 60 dollars i was drunk this past weekend and it just in my head this idea i bought i bought a novelty metal clown horn i bought a shilling wood style whistle toy a slide i bought a beginning wooden recorder and a casio sa76 44 key mini personal keyboard piano that i can play notes i don't know how that one snuck in that was 40 of the 60 why the hell did i buy that so now i now i'm committed i gotta do the asmr when we first had hope uh we had kids but we had kids

before most of our friends did we were just like 12 18 months ahead and they were buying us the worst toys like you know hey here's a home dj noisemaker here's a little drum set my first drum set they were like obviously what an obviously trolling us she's like 18 months old my first switchblade lil tyke's air horn that that stuff here's a bag of marbles. The worst, though, were things that were big, right? Like, hey, for 1995, we found a little tent for your living room. Thanks. That's the aesthetic I always wanted, a tent in my fucking living room.

Yeah. You know, I always thought instead of a coffee table there, how about kind of a pig pen? How about that? How about we do that instead? And they can just shit and piss in there oh this just in what cops was canceled no how they got defunded oh oh hey are you serious you really canceled cops what about Isn't it Live PD, what it's called now? Or is that a different show?

That's a completely different show. Yeah, I feel like you look at Cops through a whole new lens now, right? The whole rushing in, pushing people over and cuffing them. It used to be like, yeah, get them. That changed in the last couple weeks for some reason. I can't pinpoint. I don't know. Still pretty entertaining when they have to like a tackle a meth head who's

running around naked that's it's good content it is good content it's a live stream idea write it down taylor that's it tackling naked people running around taylor you'd be good at tackling meth heads i feel like you're right after 60 days in that's what i'm fucking doing just grab your old hockey mask and blocker and go for some meth heads. You're going to tell me St. Louis doesn't have any? I have all my hockey stuff in my garage right now, and it has not been worn in 10 years. And it still somehow smells.

I believe you. There are things living in there that science hasn't discovered yet. Taylor, I can one-up you, actually. there are things living in there that science hasn't discovered yet taylor i can hold up spiders for the fitness challenge i bought some new hockey gear uh it doesn't smell and it's literally never been worn so take that well as soon as this covid shit's over you can pop back to the rink in theory i don't know it's now you'll have fun you'll'll do it. I get a wild hair up your ass one day where you'll have a memory of a really crisp pass you made or received.

You'll just have that kind of feeling. I still get that where it's like, damn, I remember making that exact save and how good that felt. When your whole team is like, oh, we all fucked up royally and you saved us. That felt good and you want to relive that. Then you get out there and realize you're fat and slow. that's you're not making those saves that's the challenge like

like here's my problem there were people there were actually some guys who were pretty effective but we had other guys at my age you know 47 playing and it's like i really wish they wouldn't you know we're all out here 29 29 years old, trying to win games. And here's your old ass, like hanging out with the team. I'm not even calling you a player anymore. You're just a guy who hangs out with our hockey team. And now at 46, you're like, I want to join whatever team where it's a bunch of 23-year-old guys or a bunch of 19-year-olds. I'll bring the beer.

I don't even drink it. I'm the athletic young team. or a bunch of 19 year olds i'll bring the beer i don't even drink it so i was at my peak i was uh i was mvp of a b league and in the a league average below average right that's that's that was the best version of me uh now i'm like maybe is there a c league there aren't even D leagues around here, but if it would just put me in the worst league where a guy who can actually like make a tape to tape pass, even if it's slow is valued, right? There has to be,

you would do so much easier here than where you are in North Carolina. Like there's a million billion leagues and ranks around here. Like it's so easy to find. I had it on the other side. Like I feel like North Carolina, there's a handful of rednecks who never played in high school, right? Who never, no, I didn't either. But like, you know, like there are people here who just took up hockey because I don't know, they watched some Canes games and got into it and don't have any organized experience.

Oh yeah. You don't want to play in like the A-League here. I don't want to play in like the a league here because i don't want to play in the d in boston will like pop in yeah we get those too yeah and be like hey i'm just here and it's like yeah i get it that you're 60 but you can still hit it 105 miles an hour it's please yeah it's like you see it they're usually they're just warming up taking slap shots when I notice them and it's like oh his slap shot is different look at how okay a couple things I've noticed one it goes the same place every time that's kind of interesting two it's hard and flat and fast every time you know like like I'll hit a slap shot and a couple of them are kind of knuckle balls right this guy just zooming saucer in the same spot every time and when they skate probably non-hockey player doesn't get this but it makes a different sound as it like yeah you can tell that you know you

know the chad versus the virgin meme where it's just a little shook shook shook shook shook from the people and just when someone's good just tearing into the it's just a little from the beauty people and then just when someone's good just tearing into the ice. It's like they're more running on the ice to get started whereas the slow guys are like, alright, let me get going. And then there's also like I've seen this where

it'll be some NHL guy and it's never, Al McInnes is an exception, but it's usually not an NHL guy that was an all-star in the NHL. It's usually a guy who like barely got in and really maintained it. And you'll see him like shooting like slap shots on a regular goalie. And you'd be like, damn, that guy's shooting hard.

And then the goalie will skate out of the net to like take a little drink of water and then that'll be open. And then you see the NHL or actually start shooting on the net. And you're like, Oh my God, that's so scary. this was the this guy lasted seven games in that league yeah like jesus christ that's what pitching is like when somebody when you actually see a fastball when when what you thought was a fastball turned out to be a breaking ball and then they throw a fastball and he's like all right this isn't my career i uh i saw you make the motions and i heard it hit the glove um

what happened between do you have a middle part too because i have a middle part if you ever see somebody throw 90 miles per hour it's it's so goddamn scary i mean you've seen paintballs paintballs or go what is it in feet per second oh 300 i think right yes 300 feet per second i'm trying to convert that to miles per hour i used to be able to do it i wish i could make the comparison in any case the fucking ball's moving real goddamn fast in any case the fucking balls moving real goddamn fast it's yeah that but still yeah he's not even in the NHL his name is Martin Furke frk no vowels in his life every once in a while Martin Furk will get brought up into the NHL, and his main skill set is he has the hardest shot ever recorded, slap shot.

He's not good at defense. He's not good at back checking. He's not that skilled of a forward, but he can shoot the puck 110 miles an hour. And so there are just whole videos of him where it's like, and they pass it back to Martin Furk, takes the shot goes wide and stevens is down he's down he is not coming back they're bringing out a straight and there's just whole things that where they're just teeing up martin firk and people are just like like his own team members are just the golfer who does that philly madison from the movie yeah yeah yeah geez nobody starts swinging uh yeah dude you ever hear of john rocker yes yeah the wild thing

am i wrong about that didn't they play it when he came on the field i don't know what they played when john rocker came on the field because the fans were booing so much and throwing batteries. John rocker was a Braves pitcher, a little bit racist. He could throw upwards of 102 miles per hour. I don't know if he could hit 105. But somewhere between 101 and 105 was was what he could throw. I want to say he was either a relief pitcher or a closer. Closer is my guess. And they were going to play the, I want to say they were playing the Yankees in the series, and

he got interviewed by, I don't remember who, maybe New York Magazine, something like that. What do you think of New York? And he's just like, bunch of fags and queers and homos and this and that on the subway, and it's just a real Sodom and Gomorrah that needs to be burnt by God's mighty fury.

And he went off. He went off. Well, they made a TV show on HBO called Eastbound and Down. And it's based on John Rocker's life. That guy rules. Yeah. Yeah. He got cut not all that long afterwards.

But he was really fun to watch him come out because his trademark thing is when he would get called out. I don't know how much baseball you watch, but the pitcher is out of gas. He's lost his shit, and it's time to call in for the closer. And the closer is in the bullpen, which is out in left or right field. So he has to run across the field to the pitcher's mound, not from the dugout where all the other players are coming from.

He's way out there. So they would make the literal call to the bullpen. John Rocker would have the meanest mean face you've ever seen, and he wouldn't walk to the mound. He wouldn't jog to the mound. He wouldn't run to the mound he wouldn't jog to the mound he wouldn't run to the mound he would sprint to the mound with everything he had he just looked like he was like a medieval warrior charging into battle so mad he's only five a lot of good years left in him a lot he's he doesn't live far from

where my dad lives like like my mom his dad. It's a whole thing. I can't watch that. I know. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah. What was I going to read? Woo! That guy got killed.

Girardi's head nowhere near the net. But he fired it probably 105 miles an hour. Yeah, I think he missed a lot of games cuz he got concussed I wonder if they're ever gonna wear cages or bubbles or something in the NHL they would revolt most of them say fuck that it helped this this guy just got shot in the fucking head if anybody's curious what we just looked at it's called lightnings Girardi knocked out by slap-shot it's on Sportsnet nets youtube channel hilarious well i feel like brain

damage and i watch a lot of ufc i was watching a player talk about it recently someone very good but i forget his name i'm sure you would know who he is anyway he was talking to me he's like you know first we wore this then we wore like the bubble or the cage and then we took it off and then we put it back on in college and he's going to the whole thing and he's like i'm pretty sure if i wore it in the nfl they'd chirp at me but all these guys came up through leagues where they wore this stuff it's somewhat normalized for all of these guys i think if they had to wear it they'd be used to it they'd spend a couple years in college or i don't think they wear it in juniors but you know they did probably at some point it's it's a little multifaceted though because part of it is the

league wants the marketing ability to put the people's faces out there, the player's faces, and then the other part is there are actual players like Ryan O'Reilly of the Blues who still refuse to wear the visor because he doesn't like it. So his eyes... As a fan, what do you prefer? I want their faces out there.

Yeah. There you go. That's what you do then. Yeah. And I'm a fan. As a fan, i don't want the goalie to wear a face mask but that doesn't make it a good idea they should teams can't be i think hockey would be better if they didn't wear any skates too yeah you might be onto something that's hilarious no skates tennis ball and it's just but still like what would happen if they wore cleats instead and they sprinted on the ice? Oh, my fucking legs.

Would they? I don't know. I used to play... Do you ever play deck hockey, Taylor? You'd hit the side at a weird angle and their leg would be slinked into the ice. Do you ever play deck hockey? Oh, yeah. I played street hockey and all that. Yeah, I played too.

You did get bad knees and ankles and stuff sometimes. If you play the ball, you can step on it. It's a hazard you didn't expect. And it's unfair. Well, you can step on it by accident where you slide, and that's a problem. But yeah, also if you're poking at the ball

and I just stand on it until I can get my ass in the way and then play it it that's super effective it doesn't that is very that's good good defense did you uh did you watch the last ufc event woody no i was live streaming and somehow it didn't capture my imagination i i i watched it um i was it was pretty good i thought you know nunez and i'm a big Cody Garbrandt fan. I always have been, and I saw he was coming back.

Taylor, if you want to watch this, this just happened Saturday night. It's Cody Garbrandt's KO. Cody's been, I think he'd lost three in a row, and he's been out for like 14 months or something like that. Yeah. I didn't see it going that way. He got busted for steroids,

right? Yeah, he lost twice to epo there with uh with uh tj dillashaw right but he got caught by usada am i wrong yeah no no why did he take that long break uh he had an injury i want to say oh'm sorry. I'm looking this up. I know people. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. He came back after all that time looked fat. So Cody Garbrandt fights at 135 pounds. I want to say his real the cool thing about him besides his tattoos is he's fast as fuck like movie fighter fast like Bruce Lee fast. And it's just really fun to watch him fight. But in recent history, he's gotten pissed off in the cage. And then just gone apeshit.

And then gotten KO'd. He also fought a fighter who was cheating and lost to that guy. But he was a former champ. And he knocked this guy the fuck out. And he was out out it wasn't one of his flash knockouts he was fucked he lost one of the rounds I think he maybe lost the first round and did a little better in the second like it was a competitive fight but that guy's got thunder in his hands and there's always

a risk that okay there's always a risk that that he ends the fight in a heartbeat she's scheduling dinner I'm doing a show woman I see that oh no we can wrap my dinners yep yep I'm gonna go finish off Jack Ryan all right pkn 303