Painkiller Already - PKN #315

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

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pkn 315 so i bought a uh an incline bench and i've been working that through starting lower weight because i'm really trying to make sure i get the form just perfect before i go up and last i guess it was friday i had like thankfully i didn't have a ton of way i don't remember exactly what it was like maybe 165 175 and i unracked it and you know how when like you're getting like before i even unrack you know how you gotta hype yourself up you're like yeah i'm gonna get perfect form i'm gonna do this perfectly like yes you just watched the video this is my time and like i i unracked it and like i was so motivated like that i just exploded up with it hit the bottom of the j hooks the edge of the j hook i had these big

long titan j hooks slapped the bottom of that it bounced down and just slams into my upper stomach the barbell does and i just do like a lean forward in my basement by myself in the afternoon and i just like put on the safeties like stand up and i'm just walking around like have you ever been like really embarrassed by yourself like and you like just start talking yeah you're like you know if you like have a bad memory some comedian talked about this maybe like brian reagan he's like you try and like talk a memory out of your your head you try not to think about it like you just walk around and like start talking about other things i have to do that day and like i still have a bruise on my stomach. Not a physical line bruise,

but yeah, I could feel. It's fucking tender. I really rocked the shit out of my stomach. Haven't made that mistake again. I'm a better lifter for it. It was like, it was maybe 175. That's a lot, Taylor. All your shit's heavy. Yeah, but

it wasn't the weight. It was the momentum. The bounce back. And those, but it wasn't the weight. It was the moment, the bounce back and those day hooks. They got some spring to them. I realized it was, it was, it was really painful and even more embarrassing, but I, I've been really anal about it since then.

Like, am I lined up correctly? Oh yes. Yes, I am. Okay. Problem with inclines. One of the,

you can't do them safely alone. Like, if it's flat, you can have the little protectors in the right spot. If it's inclined, I guess you just drop it on your penis and hope for the best. Yeah, pretty much. Well, you just don't put the locks on, and that way you can spill it. Yeah. My force of habit, I always put the locks on. I always was able to do that when I was being taught

to lift, and so I just still do it. Putting the locks on is part of my rest period between sets. That's a necessary step, Kyle. I'll take advantage of these few seconds, buddy. Maybe we can get the screw-on kinds. What do you guys think, huh?

Yeah, screw-on. Got a tire iron over there for 40 minutes. Oh, what do you guys think huh you got a tire iron over there for 40 minutes oh what do you know the wrong way to workout time's over yeah i wouldn't put um locks on if i'm on anything that could get stuck i should i should start taking that well i know i'm so used to flat bench that like i didn't really think it through, you know? And I've,

it's maybe happened twice ever that I've really had to let the flat bench carry the weight. Like two times ever that's happened. And both times, like you're fucking thankful as shit that it's there, but yeah. Okay. I should do the dump thing.

You're right. That's a much higher IQ move. I'm worried about dumping it. And then it then just going and just swinging the other way and smashing into my bar and coming down and hitting me or my power rack. Have you been rescued on a squat yet? If I'm too low on a squat and I can't do it, I just roll it off my back. I fucked up way better than that, though. But it's my house.

I can do whatever I want. So on a bench, I've messed up. But I've also can do whatever so uh on a bench i've messed up but i've also messed up in my life on a bench where i didn't have protection and i just sort of rolled it down and lived uh the squat when i fouled up though i was crushed forward what would have been face on the ground with the bar on the back of my neck and then the squat rack caught it oh wow that's way worse potential fail the bar would have been on the back of your neck and then the squat rack caught it oh wow that's way worse potential fail the bar would have been on the back of your neck but what i've seen is it makes you do a cartoon-like forward flip it's hilarious i've seen it happen so many times on youtube okay where they they they squat

all the way down they're they're too far forward their shoulders they end up just completely collapsing barb on the back of their neck essentially but the human head is resilient so it just i was just just imagining david attenborough saying that the human neck is highly resilient and and they just do this like forward flip thing that's super everything has its breaking point and everyone in the gym is just like when they see that because it's just nightmare fuel it's the other alpha males scramble for the weights females look for a new shooter

i was watching more plates more dates and uh so normally when i watch more plates more dates i'm like i cannot keep up with this guy's vocabulary and breadth of depth of knowledge in this area but he did one on like how tall guys were and you know the six foot cut off and stuff and he's like i thought google was trolling me i did you guys know there's a country called chad i thought it was a joke i guess all the people there are Chad? And I was just loving it. I'm like, ha ha, I knew something Derek didn't. Let's mark this down, make it a topic Derek doesn't know about

Chad. But for those of you out there, Chad is not a fun country. No. Not a lot of good stuff happens in Chad. Certainly not if you're a woman. They've got Lake Chad. Oh, that's a great place. Yeah, spring break. Where are you going?

You PCB? Nah, we're hitting up Lake Chad in Central Africa. It's only six bucks, man. One way. Yeah, I was looking around. I had a hair up my ass to learn different stuff.

I was on Athlean and a couple other channels. I stumbled across one that was reverse grip bench. I've never tried that before. He was talking about it. You grab the bar like that. It's for people who have fucked up shoulders. I don't even have fucked up shoulders. I don't know why I was watching it.

It's supposed to hit your upper pec really well. well and isolate tries without getting as much shoulder stuff and i like went got my flat bench and i was just just fooling around not like even working out and just with no weight on the bar i like grabbed it with this position moved it over my chest like did one like fake and i was like this no this is the most dangerous thing I've ever done in my life. This is absurd, athlete. Are you kidding me? You want me to put weight on this and go like this with my slippery ass hands? Have you run out of video ideas, athlete? I'm just imagining that.

And it is such, with no weight on the bar, you're just feeling like, man, this isn't how wrists are supposed to be. I was about to say, you're saying that's going to take stress off my shoulder. When I did that and imagined like going through that motion, it puts stress on my shoulder. Like, like just that rotation and imagining like, like any actual way, anything more than 45 pounds.

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like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, if you have superhuman wrists and little girl glass shoulders this is for you and iron teeth i've really enjoyed the the the movement on youtube of just hating athlean x and making fun of everything he does it's a great weight thing the because of the fake weights and the possible steroids everybody he gets a hard time like like literally every other fitness youtuber um mocks him makes fun of him and makes like uh snide jokes have you seen the guy who's like a vegan um bodybuilder not bodybuilder well like i don't know what you call these strong man strong man

i don't know he's like 45 40 45 maybe and um and you know he's he And he does good videos because they're quick. He's like, all right, I'm going to show you five ways to do this. And I'm like, but your video is only five minutes long. He's like, exactly. Because that's all it fucking takes. How are you talking to me? He's a bicep curl. How many seconds do you need to catch on?

You can hear me? You're goddamn right I can. It's the best fitness youtube channel there it's a one-on-one coaching session fuck all right how does this have so many views don't ask questions incredibly stressed out and he's at the end of his video he's just like you know this is a good channel if you're trying to achieve this goal that goal or do this or that if you want to do the other thing if you're going for that this goal, that goal, or do this or that. If you want to do the other thing, if you're going for that presidential fitness test, there's probably a YouTuber out there that shaves his entire body.

You go watch his videos and then the comments are like, oh, good shot at Athlean. I really enjoy that they all hate on Athlean. But don't you like Athlean? Not really. Why? I think that he is a liar. More than the fake weights?

I don't know. I'm not, I don't have the eye of some of these people. Greg Doucette either believes that he's on TRT or steroids, or Greg Doucette really enjoys the attention he gets when he says that AthleanX is on steroids. Um, he was the one who originally accused Athlean of the weight plate, maybe not originally accused, but the biggest channel, uh, to accuse him of using fake plates. And then after that, um, Athlean comes into the comment section of Greg's video and like writes this

long paragraph where he's talking shit. And he's, he's just like, you know, I'll fly you down to Florida. And, and, and because what Greg said was like,

Greg has the most annoying voice. He sounds like the parrot from Aladdin. He's like, if he's lying about the plates, what else is he lying about? He's lying. He lies about plates. What else? And, and I'm just like, if he's lying about the plates, what else is he lying about? He's lying. If he lies about plates, what else? And I'm just like, God, this is abrasive.

He's so pumped up right now. It's almost better this way, though. He really does sound like that. Watched him, Greg Doucette, for some time. And he was a, what, an IFB? Is that the bodybuilding? It's four, right? four letters international federation of bodybuilding sounds like a guess international federation of bodybuilding champion he's like

like 40 years old or something like that um he's like five percent six percent body fat just super ripped dude he's the one who makes that uh anabolic kitchen cookbook with like all of the like the silly recipes i have bb i have bb okay and so greg comes or athlean comes into greg's comments is like you know i'm not cheating and all these little slide uh snide remarks he's like i'll fly you down to florida and you can you can test my piss if you really want my piss and uh and if i'm not this and that then you got to delete your channel and if i am then i'll delete my channel and it's like come on it's it's not you know i like that they're playing for pink slips yeah that's what he's trying to do and it's it's it was really funny and greg has continued to just

mock him in several more videos about the fitness videos to be as short as possible. And so like, if I see one that's like how to do this correctly, and it's just some guy says, my name's my name's Alan. And this is how to do this. It's like,

fucking thank you, Alan. So much. That's that's great. That's just what I needed. I don't need an athlete. I want to understand the man's internal motivation for making a bicep curl video. I need some preamble.

I want to hear about the mistakes he made as a child leading into this. I like it to be like when you're trying to find a recipe and you end up on a blog where she's like, that was the summer of 1992 and I'd gone to visit my mother-in-law. She didn't care for me, but that was before she tasted my banana pudding and it's just like it's like 18 paragraphs of her telling the story of banana pudding and i'm just like lady i just wanted to know if you put walnuts in there or not i've got pecans will those do like we scroll down and there's my answer no okay you're still talking about the Old West or something and how this was staple food for the pioneers.

I don't think AthleanX is bad. I do have a little bit of an issue in that I get that there isn't daily content for working out. It's a pretty repetitive behavior, and there's only so much to explain. This guy's been making videos for 10 years now, so now I feel like he's like, this is how you hit your fucking quadronexus that tiny little muscle you didn't know was underneath your shoulder blade and i'm like the fuck wait what but steroids he's been in this his body hasn't changed for five years now that's the point he just keeps getting older but it stays the same it's weird to me that he

doesn't make gains like like if he were to stay the same he could just hit his like physiological perfection you think that he's maxed out what he was born with would be one way to look at it whereas if i was getting it from a steroid well fuck i could max out period get bigger yeah maybe i mean but his i mean he's shredded too he's like eight nine percent body fat right and and he's i think he claims like even less than that he's like it's a youtube guy i don't give a fuck if he's on steroids just to make a one minute video telling me how to make sure i'm doing some press or pull correctly. That's it. And if I watch a YouTube video and they're like throwing shade at each other while I just want to learn how to do a different kind of dip. Get the fuck out of here.

I disagree. Like, for example, if it was a makeup chick telling me how to do makeup better. But then I found out she actually photoshopped her makeup and improved it unnaturally. It would set my expectations wrong. I need to know. That's not a good comparison though okay like because because the because the um the techniques are the same right photoshopping and applying makeup no no you're making my point for me no i i understand where you're coming from even if the weights are the same yeah but photoshopping is a completely different thing oh man. Oh, no.

Even if he's yoked out of his mind doing – if he's on steroids to the gills doing overhead press, but he's doing it with perfect form explaining how he's doing it, it still serves the same purpose I guess is what I would – I follow what you're saying, but he's also defining a program for me. He's helping me choose which exercises I use. Those things might differ when you're on or off the juice right maybe i do three days a week and he's suggesting six right like those won't differ but the the the um the the amount of days might you know that i often see them give you like guidelines for like there's a there's one of these might than what you do each day could you know like a lot could change if this guy is a fitness expert that's going to put me on a plan,

and he's using his body as his resume, yet he's on roids, it's like, well, fuck, does your plan, how does your plan work for non-roids? I want to see that. There's one that does that. There's one that literally does that. He's like enhanced versus not enhanced. He's like, now for your enhanced guys,

you're going to be able to go an extra day. You're going to be able to go an extra day this week. You won't be sore in two or three days. You're going to be ready to get back at it. He's interesting in that way. What's his name? He's like an older guy, like Bulldog444 or something like that. I don't even know.

His forearms are so vascular, it's terrifying. He looks like he's late 40s early 50s something like that just a gigantic human being um and and he he often says that because he's clearly on a lot of things and uh yeah and the the other guy i was mentioning is actually a vegan um lifter like the one who was making fun of Athlean, who's also a little bit older. And I don't know how he – well, I do know how he gets his protein as a vegan, but it just doesn't sound very fun. What is it, like a bunch of beans? It's a lot of vegan shakes that he's drinking. Oh.

Well, that doesn't sound that – well, they're probably not that terrible. It's about whey protein, right? Yeah, they're probably pretty rough. No, it's not whey protein. It's egg. Oh, wait. Whey protein's not vegan? It's egg. I didn't know that.

Let's not talk about how dumb I am. Isn't whey a plant? Isn't whey milk-derived? Like, casein and whey are from milk, I think. Casein is from milk, and I believe that whey are from milk, I think. Casein is from milk, and I believe that whey is from eggs. No.

I thought. I thought they were both cows. I just know that I drink whey, and it's got 51 grams of protein in the can and 230 calories. I just realized that I always knew whey was from wheat because of how

many letters they have in common. In hindsight, I take that back. For a split second, I thought you didn't know how to spell wheat, and this was about to get real fun. Yeah, whey is milk too. But I know there is egg protein

out there. There's a difference though. I know casein is slow digest or there. Yeah, there's a difference, though, because I know casein. Casein is like slow digest or something. Yeah, yeah. And it also tastes worse. I got casein at one point, and it's grosser, way grosser.

I guess it depends on the brand or the flavor and everything. Yeah, maybe. I know I have a lat pull-down machine that's supposed to either ship or arrive tomorrow, but Titan Fitness does not give a lot of details in those emails. So we'll see. We work from home. Did you say you got a couple machines? Yeah, I talked about it. I bought a back hyperextension thing because I wanted that where you lean,

you can hold a plate or something and lean over and help your lower body and your lower back. I got that T-bar row chest supported thing so i could like really overload my upper back traps and like the pulling motion and then i the lat pull down is something that i've wanted for a while and it was just it was only like 400 bucks and so i was like fuck it like i really i will use this link it i'd like to see what you what you did yeah yeah i'll send it to you it's about time you started working out taylor you're kind of strength wise pulling the show down it's true it's very true i'm i do my best

it is it's one of like like i've had a very stressful past month and i've been like i don't think i've worked out this hard this like i'm most days i'm working out like almost two hours a day monday through friday like just middle of the afternoon i just go down there and like tune out and put on something usually like a stupid horror movie or like family guy or king of the hill and i just like lift until like i'm almost shaking and that's that's really helped help me feel better for a second i thought you said stupid horror movie and i'm like but which one there's so many okay yeah yeah i needed i wanted to get one that was plate loaded because they're way fucking cheaper than those ones you already have plates and i've got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pounds of plates so yeah and it's

got good reviews so it should be should be fucking good i'm excited for that you're probably gonna want to upgrade the the bar yep yeah i already i already ordered a better bar because apparently that's a complaint about this and i also and i got the uh like rope thing for tricep pull downs also i'm not sure what other handles i want i use the rope for tricep pull downs on mine yours has what mine doesn't do you have there's a seat and something that goes over your thighs i just sit on the bench you'd use for bench pressing or the ground and uh you get any weight on there and it pulls it's a pull-up it sucks yeah you're not you're not isolating isolating your lats anymore it's it's really defeating the purpose if you do that yeah you need the you need the knee bar yeah i wonder why you wouldn't be isolating your lats

though if you just do it because there's a lot of shoulders and back going on and it's the same motion right it's exactly the same place you'll be rocking back and forth and using different muscle groups possible okay you know kind of rolling your shoulders back also in the lat thing and sort of pulling toward your chest and it's it's definitely not the same motion because the weights are completely different with the amount of what you can do if you're doing it right you shouldn't be able to if you're like fucking around on that pull down really doing a kipping pull down you can pull down a ton of weight but you're not actually hitting your lats you know but i'm excited to get that thing it's supposed to really be a game changer and i'm i'm pretty stoked for it

i can't think of anything else really pressing that i need now you know i got pretty much everything i could think of i got well the uh the cable crossover machine would be the last holdout except those the one that i want is like 22 2300 i don't remember the brand but it's so fucking dope looking and i really want that it's got like the two the two plate stacks and everything and so i really want that but that'll be i need to hold off because i've been spending money like a retarded person i was about to spend like i was on such a buying fitness stuff kick that was just like you know these two 70 pound dumbbells they could really help 330 you know and like i had to have a little bit of rationality. Be like, are you retarded? Are you?

No, no. You have plates. Get stuff with plates. Don't spend $330 on 270 pound dumbbells. You're going to hate yourself. So your answer to are you retarded was no. Noted. The crossover machine I dream of is like $4,500. But when you add on the addition to the house, it's a good 30,000.

Yeah, it's so goddamn tall it doesn't fit in the house. That's where they get you. Big home improvement. Now, where's your warehouse that we're setting this up in? You don't have one. He just rips the placard off his truck. Well, it's also Tommy's warehouse. Oh, no refunds on that, sir, but i've got a good tin corrugate shed idea for you yeah anyway i've

been really really liking working out recently it's been a bunch of fun that's awesome i got my owl head and i was thinking about wearing this tonight while I'm playing. Can I see it on? Where do your eyes go? I haven't put it on yet, but it's going to be really hot. They go right in the middle of it. Nowhere near the eye holes. Oh, did you spot them? I didn't.

You don't see the eye holes? He does look through the eye holes. Not with both eyes. I see that. Can you see the both eyes at once? There's a pretty big gap here without visibility. I have a hard time seeing anything in sort of this region. If I point it at right this angle, I can see most of my monitors.

Oh, yeah, I'm not going to be able to play at all. Oh, I want to compare before and after differences oh he can't hear us can he can you hear us uh i could i could barely hear you i would need to get a little thing threaded up in there in my ear i think when you wear that you're going to get huge numbers we'll see i'm wearing it after this tonight. I throw on a dumbass pilot hat and my numbers double. That owl thing is going to go next level. It's going to be a Twitch trend. I can see it coming. Everyone will be in costume

going forward. You didn't even see the full getup. Oh god, that's going to be nice and cool. You're going to need an air conditioner. Wow. It's thicker than you'd guess. It looks like you're going to need an air conditioner. Wow. It's thicker than you'd guess. It looks like you're going to Siberia.

That's going to be so fucking hot. This part is going to make playing games really tough. Are there only three digits? Yeah. Oh, no. You slap your hand in here and then you... Alright, all hope is not lost. I was going to say, like, if slap your hand in here and then you... Oh, okay. Okay, okay. All right, all hope is not lost.

I was going to say, like, if you have to play games like this... I'm trying to jump, I can't hit the dive button! Just furious at Fall Guys. Yeah, that game's a lot of fun. I know it's not your guys' jam whatsoever, but if you're ever just wanting a thoughtless, stupid game, that's the ticket. I was thinking I wanted a thoughtless, stupid like yesterday like i was looking at um i used to

play paper mario on nintendo 64 when i was a kid like it came out in 2000 and uh and i was like somehow or another i saw there was a new paper mario game and i was like ah okay i want it and uh it's on the nintendo switch i don't have a Switch. And I didn't even really know what a Switch was, apparently. I was like, those things are probably like $120, right? They're expensive. They're $400. I was like, I literally just want to play Paper Mario. Like, I just want to –

I thought this was going to be a very cheap thing to accomplish. Paper Mario is $200 more. It was $60 more. Yeah, it was $60 more for Paper Mario. So I was going to end up almost $500 in to play a Mario game that isn't even that good.

Yeah. I mean, really the only time I use my Switch is when I have company over and it's good for Mario Party, Super Smash, but party games. That's it. I can't remember the last time I touched that thing when I didn't have company over. Yeah. I decided not to do it. I looked at the Switch Lite because that's just the handheld

thing. There's no like TV shit going on. It's just all handheld. And those are a good bit cheaper. But I kind of got... I downloaded like this rip-off Mario game on my phone. I played it for five minutes and I was like, you know, that really scratched the itch. That's all I really wanted. I just wanted to hear the noise phone. I played it for five minutes and I was like, you know, that really scratched the itch.

That's all I really wanted. I just wanted to hear the noise again. I'm good. I'm good now. Man, you saved half a grand. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Because I watched that documentary on Netflix or that limited series, I think is what it would be called. High Score, I think. And it's like the history

of gaming. I thought it was really cool. They started it like pac-man and shit like that uh you know atari stuff and then slowly went nintendo and sega like like every episode you sort of progressed a few more years until the end they were doing doom and stuff like that did you guys see project power no that looked bad what is it it was suggested to me on it on netflix i think that's right that was bad and i was so disappointed the premise was exciting to me so here it is there's a pill someone made and you activate the pill you take it and for five minutes you get a superpower or die not sure which and i don't think anyone died in the whole film and uh um i guess

all the superpowers are animal based right so some people are moving super fast some people get like they become bulletproof i don't know what that is like what animal is that turtle or like turtle what's the fucking one that curls up in texas armadillos that i'm going for i promise you the armadillo is not bullet well it proved it it takes i've got the plague it takes these supposedly animal-based superpowers and you know to the next level right i don't know which one catches on fire like the human torch, though? Like, what the fuck was that supposed to be? Are you sure this is an animal thing? They say it. And it wasn't one of them superpower rapping, though.

I think she was just a good rapper. It wasn't about a pill. Oh, and she had it in her the whole time. That's what the movie was about. That's what's in the preview. Like her and Jamie Foxx are standing there. And he's like, so what's your superpower? And she's like, rapping.

He kind of laughs. She's like, give me a word. He goes, antibiotic. And she starts rapping really. She's like, antibiotic. And she lays out this crazy long freestyle about antibiotics. That happens when she's not on the pill when she does that. I remember that scene.

But at the climax, the guy is like like you know how these are all animal based right what do you think the most powerful animal is t-rex that's a good one he's like you think it's the lion no you think it's this and he's like no it's the mantis shrimp the mantis shrimp now this is something i know about because i was a reef keeper mantis shrimp is this little tiny shrimp and it hits so hard it sounds like a popping sound i think it breaks the speed of sound and it'll break your tank you don't want a manta shrimp because it'll pop a hole in your it'll break the glass and all the water pours out on the ground and everything you have dies if you accidentally get a manta shrimp in like rock or something like

that so that was this guy's superpower he takes the pill and then he's able to hit people really hard and hurt them and stuff. That's a pretty good one. It is a good one. And you wouldn't think the mantis shrimp was cool, but it is. And that's why I'm saying it was all animal based, but they're very flexible on animals and the douche.

Do you get the same animal every time? So it's like one guy takes, he's like, Oh, I'm a, I'm a worm. Fuck this. He starts doing the worm.

He gets the ability to digest dirt. I just want to eat shit. Cut me in half and in six to twelve months I'll grow a new meat. This is a terrible pill. That last part sounds kind of neat. Anyway, it was terrible.

It was really painful the whole time. It's just six months worth of torture just just six months of screams that only lasted five minutes you're just dead it took a premise like as you get a five minute superpower you don't know what it is and there's some risk and made a terrible terrible show over it and i was so disappointed yeah jamie fox um will take your money and he'll do what you want him to do i knew that going i knew that going in so when i saw the preview and i was like number one on netflix trending today i was like we'll see if what it's uh we'll see about that who's the actor that does anything oh well which one i think samuel nicholas cage okay that's a good one but samuel jackson was in my head yeah that guy he'll do any movie there's something about nicholas cage that i

i like and that he's so he's so not good you know he makes me feel like i could be an actor so if only my dad was like Francis Ford Coppola, or Grandpa, whoever. He won an Oscar. He did win an Oscar. What was it for? All that shit. Las Vegas or something? That's a pretty good movie.

It's a depressing movie, but it's a good one. I watched that in the last two months or so, and I hadn't even never seen that before. They asked Michael Caine once. He was in, I think, Jaws 3? They were like, he was in it, and they were like, have you seen it?

He's like, no, I've never seen it, but I have seen the lovely beach house it bought for me. For him, that's the way it should be. Jaws was good though. I feel like like three three was not my mistake okay now that one yeah was that the one with the kids where they're all on their own boats that's jaws two which one's three jaws three is where both roy schneider and most of his family

has has died and they're just looking for they're like it's called jaws three the revenge and the premise is that the shark has followed them from new england down to florida with revenge on its mind they literally got a goddamn airplane all right so somehow the shark gets their itinerary he knows he knows they're going down to warm water and not really his hunting ground normally but hey he's after roy schneider's wife i think and michael canes with her and his and one of his sons and i want to say the way they kill the shark and that one is literally the the wife of dead roy schneider because he's gotten enough sense not to come back. He's doing Sequest or something at this point on TV. She sails a boat into the shark, and it's got the – it's not the mast. Whatever that thing that sticks off the nose of the boat is, it's been broken off to a jagged point, and she impales the shark

because it jumps out of the water just in time, and she impales it with a boat. It was awful. So bad. If I recall, doesn't she work at SeaWorld or something? You know, I've seen the movie once, and it was about 15 years ago. I don't want to come off like some sort of super badass, but I think I could avoid a shark death

just by not working at SeaWorld. Yeah, lame. You know, I like to watch those YouTube channels that make fun of bad movies. I'm a huge fan of Red Letter Media. Huge fan. If you've never watched their stuff, they have similar

senses of humor to us. I'm like, I thought I was the only one doing rape jokes in 2020. This is good shit. One of the guys does this character called Mr. Plinkett. He has his own movie reviews.

Mr. Plinkett was doing a movie review the other day i can't remember which movie but he sort of does this like droning dull voice as an old man talking about the movie he just watched and they're almost always negative movie reviews he's like i just watched this piece of shit and it makes me want to kill someone just like i did my ex-wife and he just on and on his and at one point he was like i thought i was watching my favorite film the mary kate and ashley olsen adventures and it sort of shows a pov shot of him with like four cassette tapes of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen and a television playing it. And he, and he just starts ejaculating. You don't see him at all,

but you just see cum spraying at the television set with such ferocity that the television set explodes. And now there's a hole in the middle of the glass tube and the cum is still flowing. Such a thing is too much zinc yeah this guy had so much zinc so much so i'm gonna i'll tell you my mix later so much soy lecithin i um what's one of the other two things beta alanine and uh and uh para something or another some sort of fucking monk root plant or something i don't remember what the other thing i'm taking it is it is anyway he's just he's coming now into the hole that's

left in the tv and he's just going oh oh and there's sparks flying out of the hole in the tv and smoke and stuff and he's still it's just this like rope of cum that's clearly being sprayed out of like a water hose or something. Those guys have a really interesting sense of humor. It's very similar to what... I've never watched their content before. It's really good. There's hundreds of hours of it. They do lots of them

just watching awful movies and then reviewing it. Macaulay Culkin's on there a lot. I guess he's a fan and he'll come on there and they do this thing called Best of the Worst. And or actually maybe it's Wheel of the Worst. Maybe Best of the Worst involves the Wheel of the Worst. But they have like a roulette wheel and they seemingly have this huge library of bullshit movies.

Just the worst movies you've ever seen. And they'll put like eight of them on the roulette wheel. Each guy will spin it and they'll get that movie. And might be thinking like how bad could the movies be one of the cassette tapes is like how to plan a funeral another one is like erotic massage for the elderly and so they they have to sit in a room the four or five of them they they mix the cast up a little bit but it's usually got the same core two or three guys and then oh macaulay culkin's here this week and fat guy with a beard's here this week and they and they watch these they watch these awful movies and uh you know you get clips of them watching them sort of mystery science theater 3000 style

and then they sort of sit around a desk drinking getting really drunk and uh and and just talking shit about these movies it's really good i love it like fun to do and they do really end they do like three or four different kinds of of like youtube videos like like different segments i don't know how to describe it like one show is called um half in the bag where it's usually just two of them a little bit drunk talking about one or two movies um and then uh they did they do really in-depth reviews of like star trek they're all they're big star trek fans so i like those because we are me and those guys are in complete agreement about star trek it seemingly like what was good what was awful and what's just an abomination now and it's fun to see next generation i think i think it's good but is it not a little too stiff a little

too social justice warrior and like they're almost like office workers as opposed to extreme athletes they're not supposed to be extreme athletes. That's not worth it. That doesn't apply. Captain Kirk was out there punching lizards in the face. That doesn't happen so much in TNG. It does happen sometimes, but only when necessary.

Kirk and Picard are different kinds of captains. Picard is a philosopher, a diplomat, and Kirk is sort of played as like a cowboy, you know, because that's what was popular then was cowboy TV shows. They're like, oh, he's a cowboy in space. He fucks all

the green bitches and knocks the aliens the fuck out. He's got a gun that shoots lasers. But Picard is, I really like the clips on YouTube of Picard like owning people with like with his speech you know like like they won't need to have some some ridiculous battle with people dropping out of the sky and doing x-game shit picard will will outthink them and outplay them and outmaneuver them and i really enjoy that i like his speeches a

lot even when they have a battle it's just some unsatisfying laser beam that sort of zoo zoo zoo and puts damage on the other ship sure it sure that the battles do sometimes leave leave something to be desired uh deep space nine is my favorite that's my favorite show it has pretty good battles for the most part and uh and it's got a mix between Picard and Kirk as far as the captain with Captain Sisko because he will knock you the fuck out. But he will also sort of outplay you. There's a really good YouTube video if anybody gives a shit. It's called like why Benjamin Sisko is my favorite Starfleet captain or best Starfleet captain. And it's him in this standoff situation with these like terrorists who

are on a planet and uh and he's telling him he's like look surrender come back with me to the star base you go into space jail and the guy's just like no fuck you i'm on the planet you don't even know where i am um and he's in and and cisco's like mrf, load up a photon torpedo with that really awful radioactive shit that kills planets. And he's like, sure. He's like, yeah, load it up. And the guy on the phone is just like, the fuck are you doing with that? I'm going to destroy this planet. No, you're not.

It's a whole planet. That's where my people live. Yeah, I'm going to blow it up. He's like, no, you won't. You're fucking bluffing. And he's just like, Mr. Worf, fire. And he fucking like irradiates this planet. And the guy's like, what have you done?

He's like, it's fine. People will be able to live there in 15 or 20 years from now. And if you hurry up, you can get your people out of there. He killed like some large number of people, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands. Wait, zero people were killed. And so in the clip, it seems like he did kill a lot of people no not one and so he uh he's he's just like what have you done he's and cisco's like there's 18 more planets in this system all right mr mr wharf load 18 more torpedoes and he was like

all right what the fuck what the fuck you can't just destroy all our planets i'll surrender i'll surrender are you sure no one died in that i remember yeah they're terrorists well they're freedom fighters that see that that was the message that was that that was sort of being taught with the maquis terrorist was that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter because the reason the mock what's happened is you've got this one alien race who invaded another's planet enslaved them rape torture slavery all that good stuff murder long war crimes for decades or something like that maybe 10 years and then they got thrown off and so now now that planet is not no longer under the rule of the other one uh the occupation has ended but during that occupation that planet had no longer under the rule of the other one. The occupation has ended.

During that occupation, that planet had lots of people who were fighting as terrorists to defend themselves. Now what you have is people who were formerly from there and people who were in Starfleet who were like, fuck those people who were invading you. We're going to continue to fight them for like these like border planets that are like between where they live and where we live and uh and the federation's like no we signed a treaty with them they get those planets and they're like no those are our planets you can't just sign a treaty and give away our planets and they're like yeah we can that's the law and so you're like well wait a minute they kind of lived there forever and then this over this big government just came

in and said well this isn't yours anymore. It's the bad guys. And so the Federation, while those are the good guys, that's what that's captain Kirk and Picard and all of our favorite TV, TV guys. That's what they do. You're also like,

I kind of in the wrong on this. So the mock here, like these terrorist freedom fighters, that was the whole premise of Voyager where you had a starfleet crew and a maquis crew who got cast away to the far side of the galaxy and half of each crew died so they had to combine into one and sort of get along but the writers were awful so by week three they were like all right we're all friends right yeah yeah for sure let's get on to some sort of like we're all friends they literally did that like they dropped the whole like oh it's gonna be hard for starfleet and my terrorists to get along all those regulations and

all these these people flying by the seat of their pants week three everybody's got their fucking uniform on their fucking lickety split walking down the halls nobody's having a problem so it's not not super realistic some of them are awful some of the star treks are awful voyager is terrible um the original series is impossible to watch at this point um but i really love i just re-watched next generation not too long ago and i love deep space nine but you know the new stuff's again circled back to awful i won't watch discovery is i haven't even heard of discovery if he doesn't like the social justice warrior stuff, he's going to love the one with all the,

with like most of the crew is either gay or black or gay and black or gay and black and a woman. I like TNG like you do. I like Deep Space Nine. I think it might be the best of the TV shows, but unlike it seems a lot of people, I think the new movies are fun. I think the first,

I think they're, I think they're fun. And I think the first one was good in i think they're fun and i think the first one was good in that it was a cool new way to do things it was a great way to mix it mix stuff up and and uh sort of reinvent those characters did time travel in a clever way that enabled them to like clever ish respond or respect canon yet you know write it over again it was cool yeah except like what was that villain doing for 20 years you know we traveled back get it where were they dude anytime you have time travel it's so powerful and so flexible that it's difficult to have a

plot with no holes in it yeah there's no retort to time travel yeah um it's like oh we got you it's like not no not if i go back before you got me but i don't like oh fuck we didn't consider that i don't like the second and third movies though i like the first one a good bit although there's like huge problems with it you know like there's that part where uh chris uh is it chris pine yeah ch Chris Pine is on a space motorcycle, uh, back in Iowa, I think, or Kansas, wherever he's from. And, uh, he's sort of like doing his sullen hero bit where he's like, doesn't know if he's going to join up with these star fleet or whatever. He's, he's just been a bad boy his whole life. And, uh, and he's sitting there on his motorcycle looking at the enterprise being built on the ground in iowa that's where you want to build it's closest to space you know it's just

like they probably wouldn't have built the thing on the ground that's where the resources are i don't know it can land on a planet so why wouldn't it take off from a running lawn wheat maybe the iowa thing well you know probably there was a powerful senator from iowa on a planet, so why wouldn't it take off on a planet? We're running low on wheat! Maybe the Iowa thing. Well, you know, probably there was a powerful senator from Iowa. That's how military projects are actually decided. Yeah. I don't know.

The new stuff is very upsetting for me, personally. It's one of my favorite properties. Apparently. There's an animated show called uh lower decks i think and it's about like the little ancillary characters in star in a star trek uh ship who like you know the guy who like pushes the cart or the person who like changes the light bulbs and like they hang out and get drunk and stuff. It's kind of a comedy.

That's better than Discovery. That's better than the animated show where they fuck around and get wasted all the time. What's his name? The family guy. That's the character, Peter Griffin. Seth MacFarlane. Seth MacFarlane has that show

Oz... Fuck, why am I having a hard time with words? Oz? Oz? That's an HBO special. Orwell. It's called Orwell. The Orwell. And it's

his comedic Star Trek show. Where it's not Star Trek, it's a different thing. But it's the same premise as Star Trek. But it's not Star Trek. It's a different thing. But it's the same premise as Star Trek. But it's kind of funny. You know what's also lost the plot? Trailer Park Boys. You can't watch any of their new stuff.

It's embarrassing. It's sad. It's sad to see what they came from. Norm Macdonald is on Orwell. I didn't like Orwell. I love Orwell. Why don't you like it? Wait, I might be mixing it up with Space Force.

I didn't like Space Force. I think I might have made a mistake there. Space don't you like it? Wait, I might be mixing it up with Space Force. I didn't like Space Force. I think I might have made a mistake there. Space Force is Steve Carell. Yeah, that was awful. Who could have seen that coming? All right, well, we're going to make a whole movie based on a phrase that was really popular three and a half years ago. No, it's a TV show. It's pretty good.

It's basically Steve Carell is like, I don't't know second or third in command of the air force and uh they're having the big joint chiefs of staff meeting and he's been invited and he's and he thinks that he's getting bumped up to lead the fucking air force and he's so pumped and he's like talking shit to the guy who's currently leading he's like looks like you're out of a job and I'm in, I'm in the big chair. And, and he gets in the room and they're like, no, you're leading space force.

And he's just like, Oh no. And they just ship them off to like bullshit nowhere. And this, like the, this space force base. And it's just hijinks. John Malkovich is in it. It's John Malkovich and Steve Carell,

like bouncing off of each other for, I don't know, 8-10 episodes. I liked it a lot. The Orwell is a completely different show. It's Seth MacFarlane, like I said. And it's Star Trek. They're in space. They're traveling around finding new shit. But it's comedic. It starts off being really silly. But they sort of fall into this mixture of of silliness and like, oh, this is actually kind of a decent Star Trek episode. It gets better.

Space Force is lame. I've got in my head, what did they like, play paint? No, they attached balloons to each other to see who was going to, what were it, states? So there were two colonies. Yeah, they were choosing their proper exoskeleton suit. And one was really shitty, and the other was actually pretty good, I guess. And the Space Force people were not athletic at all.

They're fat, they're short, they're girls, they're whatever. They're all worthless. And the weapons they're using are like cuticle cutters and something else and they're gonna try and battle in these things and it's just the stupidest fucking lamest premise ever that's a way to choose it and um in the end john malkovich just like types a few things and turns off the other people so they have to stay still uh it was it's so fake and gay but didn't you like the episode where they launched their like satellite and the chinese set comes satellite comes along and like clips the solar panels off the american one and just rides away no and because they're trying they're debating

the solutions on how to solve it and you know steve carroll's character is like can we just like put a like maybe bomb it and have them attach or he used he wanted a nuclear bomb for like a couple different solutions over the course of the season and all their ideas for putting it back together were bad and i think they never got it back together did they they well the point the point is their ideas are bad it's a comedy this isn't the actual space force those guys have good ideas what they do Taylor they're like wait a minute we've got two

astronauts already up there right what are you talking about the research laboratory there's a chimp and a labrador in the research laboratory and and frankly sir we turned those cameras off two weeks ago. We kind of figured they'd work things out themselves. We're done with that program.

Wait, you're just going to let them die up there? That's kind of how it works. And so now they have to choose between a chimpanzee and a Labrador to go on a spacewalk to repair a fucking satellite. It goes well. It goes well. goes well it's hilarious it's hilarious well they send the chimpanzee out and he's freaking the fuck out and long story short it doesn't one episode of you so that it doesn't go well what happens the chinese come along and they pick up the chimp and they kidnap him or something or he willingly goes to the chinese and

he's a traitor the dog was eaten weeks ago so he can't help and meanwhile the scientists are having these like ideas that would work and steve carell is just closed-mindedly pushing forward to get monkeys and dogs to fix it and the premise is so stupid that it's not a good episode i loved it it was a great episode woody's one of those people who's who's sorry that like he's like you know donder mifflin could be selling a lot more paper if this guy would just get with the program salesman it there can be a thing is too stupid like this guy is leading it and he's i guess you know when the office when he played when he played um michael scott yeah he actually had some redeeming

qualities every so often he'd give a speech that showed that he was wiser than he seemed to be you know that sometimes when he was a goof that was a calculated move his time at chili's when he was i guess developing a rapport with the client that no one else could you came away and you're like shit like there's a reason michael's running this thing that he's effective in his own way in space force that never happens he's a fucking moron he's dumber than anybody that you know in real life i thought it swung back and forth a little bit uh i thought the whole the thing was to make fun of the trump administration like they have melania trump uh designing the space force uniforms and they are comical at best i liked it i thought it was pretty good i didn't

think it was great or anything but i thought it was after i was done with it i was like ah i'd like to see another episode of that but there aren't any more um orwell is even better and there's two seasons of that and i like that norm mcdonald plays a slime alien like he's literally like a a living jello that like rolls around and he's always hitting on the black doctor trying to fuck her and eventually they get infected with some kind of virus that just makes them all horny so like this jello slime monster and like the black doctor have sex and she's like sitting on his jello face while he eats her pussy it's it's great it's great that sounds fun dude there was a of course you know next generation

had a scene where i think they all got horny or drunk or something and uh data fucked the head of security tasha yar yeah and um there might have been there are other hookups here and there but just the idea that she fucked data the the android, baby, I'm androidist and not realizing it. I'm just coming to terms with this now. It was like, fuck, that's just something the two of them are going to have to know for the rest of her time on the show. She picked well. She picked the one who's not going to talk shit.

Who's not going to like, Tasha's a real whore. She took it in the ass. Like, Data's not going to talk shit afterwards. He's not going to tell anybody probably. And nobody's got the stamina data's got yeah she asked him like of course this isn't how she phrased it but she's like do you know how to fuck and he's like i've been programmed in 10 931 different ways to please a woman and she's like come with me and yeah i guess as i think about it i wouldn't look down on her for using a vibrator why would i look down on her for using data yeah yeah she can have a conversation with him afterwards too

yeah there's a lot of uh episodes of star trek where like everybody just gets horny because of some space anomaly you know it's always morning it's always something different it's always something different that like makes them all want to fuck each other uh but it's literally happened in every single star trek uh property uh the writers are just like hey let's make more they all fuck each other my favorite though because it's the worst is in star trek voyager again the worst star trek ever ever made uh there's there's one where uh two of the characters the captain and i want to say tom paris who is their ex-con pilot. Ooh, a little bit of character depth there. Okay, okay.

Yeah. They start de-evolving. And for some reason, they de-evolve into like iguanas instead of smaller capuchin monkeys or something like that. You know, something furry. Is that the one with Chad in it in it or no this is um the one with janeway the female captain yeah this is the one with tits mcgee fucking jerry ryan okay yeah and uh and so and long story short they're like in a i want to say it was because of because of a new experimental warp engine that went like warp 10 or something. That's been retconned.

So they de-evolve into like iguanas. They fuck and then they have iguana babies. What a retarded thing to do. It was an awful episode. There are many, many, many, many Why don't you keep watching it?

You gotta know if it gets better. You have to know. Maybe the iguana fucking episode is the springboard into greatness. It was not. No. The thing with Voyager was they had been thrown to the other side of the galaxy in the first episode, or first two episodes. And then the rest of that whole series every season is the same thing they're trying to get home like they're always trying to get home and

so that's a cool premise for a show that instead of like all right every week we go on a little mission and this week it's these aliens and this week it's that aliens it's like no we're 80 years from home and every episode you ever see of this show is just us struggling to get home by ourselves. We can't call for help. There's nobody to come help. And for the most part, a lot of the aliens that they were dealing with were way behind them in technology. But there's just tons of them. So it would be like 40 enemy ships that are like 100 years behind them.

But there's 40 of them so they're constantly in these ridiculous pitch battles and and a female captain which i liked and yeah jerry ryan i wanted to know what she looked like so jerry why ryan was perhaps those look heavy you could argue she's the hottest woman of the 90s like you know everyone has a different bullseye but god damn did she nail hers and i look at her now this is at the search string with jerry ryan 2020 she's fit you know her face is aged it's hard that happens to everybody but fuck she like taylor those look heavy yeah right it Oh, that's a sagging reference.

I see. I'm not saying they're bad. They're doing pretty well. I'm not saying they're bad. I just said heavy. I think they're doing pretty well. She's got to be 45. I don't know.

I was just thinking if she was hot. Let's guess. I say 45. I'm going to take 47. I don't know why because I guess it's what I am. Hollywood's, I'm going to say 49. I don't know why, because I guess it's what I am. Hollywood's, I'm going to say 49. All right. Woo!

52. Holding up well. Holding up well. Yeah, she was great in the day. And then, you know, there's Star Trek Enterprise, which I talked about a couple weeks ago, and my fascination with Jolene Blaylock, who's just a different kind of human being she's

perfect to play like an alien because she doesn't even look like a normal person which actors that were formerly hot are still getting good work when beauty's not their asset anymore um mickey rourke. Okay. Who's the guy with the voice that everybody impersonates? James L. Jones. No, not Jack Nicholson. He's the one. No, I can't do his voice.

Christopher Walken. He used to be very good looking as a young guy. Now he's kind of goblin-esque. Goblin-esque. Do you feel like he ever got work for his good looks, though? Oh, back in the day yeah okay he was a he was a handsome man back in the day deer hunter um he was in the deer hunter okay young fella i think i've seen that one that's good deniro yeah i i like him i like it when actors can transition from sex symbol to just great actor.

Like Nicolas Cage did. You know who never made it out of that second tier of Star Wars was Hayden Christensen. Is he the one who played... Oh, is he the child? No, no. He's the teenager one. Yeah, he's the teenager one who's like

you underestimate my power. And it's like... I was like nine watching that being like, that's bad acting. So he's the one who's like, I just hate the sand. It gets everywhere. He was really stiff. Everywhere. He was stiff, robotic.

And even when he was doing that stupid little scene where he's like, so Veronica, I have the high ground. Whatever that actor's name is. Ewan McGregor. He is doing everything in his power to pull Hayden Christensen into the scene. Come on, Hayden!

Out of the fire! Into the scene! And Hayden's just down there. Rawr! He's literally using the force to make Hayden Christensen act. He's just like i remember that being like man that poor motherfucker doing his damnedest to try and pull the scene out of this and he just has this stone tied to his ankle so yeah he never got any

more work i don't think like i never see him in anything good kid jacob lloyd jake lloyd does that sound you know that because there was like a tidbit about it like this kid got bullied so bad that he retired from acting good is that his name good i say good yeah jake how the fuck yeah there we go 31 31 years old five five lucas george lucas is the one who needs to be gotten like like like if you know i see everyone mourning over um the gentleman who played black panther and it is very sad that that guy died yeah i don't think i don't think a lot of people did and um but but i'm just thinking of like celebrities that i wouldn't be bummed out at all if they passed and george lucas is at the top of that fucking list i hate george lucas with a passion everything he touches is shit yeah fuck you george i hate it how old is he like 70

something you ever see indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull yeah it was rough that was bad it was awful ewan mcgregor has something coming out that i'm excited about are you guys familiar with his motorcycle miniseries the long way around long way down no never heard of all right it's him and another actor charlie booker maybe i forget or is he from always sunny in any case uh those two ride their motorcycles. And the first one was around the world. They started in England. They went across Europe, through Mongolia, through Russia, took a little boat ride to Alaska, down the Canadian coast and across America. And that's the long way around.

Then they did long way down, which is basically from Scotland to South Africa, straight down. Now they're doing long way up. I don't know know where they're going but their two previous series were fantastic i'm running out of directions i bet they do uh the americas long way up i'm gonna guess they start in what's the bottom of south america is it chili that doesn't sound safe argentina or chili one of those none of these were safe like when they went through Africa, the people were dangerous and really nice. They had a big mix. But yeah, Mongolia, you're really not under... They've defunded the police

a long time ago in some of these places. I think it's been a while since the Mongolians have been a real problem though, right? Whereas the Hondurans might be an issue today well they don't have to doodle all the way around the continent if they stick to the you know the left side of

the continent they stick to like chile and argentina for the most of the way that's be safe part of it so where's the danger right is the danger that a bad guy wants to steal your tools like that's one danger or kill you or whatever or is the danger that your motorcycle breaks down in mongolia where there are no parts and fedex doesn't service and like that's not the danger either go on the danger is that if you're a famous hollywood movie star worth millions of dollars insured for millions of more than a fucking drug cartel whose business is the kidnapping and ransoming of other human beings it's like the bread and butter is going to kidnap you and ransom you yeah okay okay i said yeah or that you'll get the coronavirus down there in south america because it's a real thing that people get i would have

i would have been like if i did the long way up from af, I feel like after you do that, you're like, all right, two for two, like, and we stop. We have danced with the devil long enough. Like you hear about those stories where it's like Joe and Susan wanted to do a march for peace through Lebanon,

Afghanistan on day three, they were captured, murdered immediately, and she was raped for a week and then murdered. It's like, well, you should have gone to, like, you should have gone skiing. You should have done something else.

You should have gone skydiving. Anything but just traipse around areas where it's like, I don't speak the language. People will like me. So did you know Aspen existed when you went there? You did. That sounds like an adventure to me. I would love the vacations, their TV shows, whatever you call it, that they're putting on.

That would be, I would think that was the coolest. You need to watch a few more episodes of Locked Up Abroad then. Where you've done nothing wrong. You just didn't understand the local customs. And some guy who's actually moving drugs pins them on you. where you've done nothing wrong you just didn't understand the local customs and some like some guy who's actually moving drugs like pins them on you and you end up shitting in a hole in the ground for six six weeks or something you peel out on the street that turns out to be graffiti and they lock you up and the punishment for that is like caning you're like the fuck yeah

public caning in singapore like don't spit don't chew gum they're very serious about manners over there remember when that was a big story back in the 90s when that was all we had to worry about seemingly was that american uh kid uh like graffitied a wall or some shit some cars i don't know and he was gonna get caned in singapore and we were like you can't cane an american not my mom my mom was so down with caning that kid. She's like, graffiti? Put a whip in your hand. I don't care.

She would sail for whatever. She thought murder. She thought if they executed him for graffiti, that they would be well within their rights. Yikes. Well, you know, she belongs in Singapore. Or freaking Kenosha or something. She's a hard disciplinarian, I guess you would say. Yeah.

And the Simpsons made that episode where Bart got in trouble in Australia. They were going to give him the boot, literally boot him in the ass. They were literally just going to kick him in the ass with this huge oversized boot. Beat, beat, beat. And they're all just, get in the beat. Yeah, that was a good one. That was just that was exactly about the singapore thing as it was happening yeah that is funny though getting to get games because you you're like haha this is like america the cops will come by and be like ah i got a rapist catch on 31st you quit it it. No, Singapore. They're like, oh, no, you can't spray that day.

I break your kneecap. Oh, no, man. I'm not allowed to cane him. Oh, then I guess I can't do this right now. And then they just came. Did they cane him? How did that end? I guess I'm in big trouble.

I think he caned him. Yeah. I'm pretty sure they caned the fuck out of that kid. That's such a brutal punishment. It's so bad. In the public square. So not only are you getting caned, it must be embarrassing to they caned the fuck out of that kid. That's such a brutal punishment. Caning so bad. In the public square. So not only are you getting caned, it must be embarrassing to be caned and painful.

Trust me, the embarrassment would have no impact on you after you felt the caning. Do I get to pick the cane? You do not get to. Oh, believe me. They took their time picking that cane oftentimes it's not even one cane it's like three canes like like like tied together really tightly and in my head i'm like oh do they like flex and pinch because of that like like when i know i've

seen like like in porn i've seen like bDSM canings, and those are so rough. Like you're just like, oh, that's too much. That's not a spanking. Well, it's not called a spanking, is it? It's called a caning. Who's into caning? And then you see that's what they do in other countries, and they beat the shit out of those people. I've seen in Arab countries, it might have been saudi arabia someone

getting caned for something and it was extreme they were hitting him as hard as they fucking could with this big daddy cane it was like a broom handle that sucks so i read about the kid in singapore so here's the scoop someone was like really damaging cars by this apartment blocks using hot car i'm sorry hot tar paint remover red spray paint and hatchets right drivers complained that their tires were getting slashed this kid got caught for driving his dad's car without a license and uh they didn't have any evidence that he was the guy that did it i don't know if he's the guy that did it and um but he pled guilty to it but i don't know like how they got him to plead guilty did they cane him for that or like what kind of was he guilty so now begins the pre

caning so in america the americans felt like he didn't have any due process they just kind of bullied him to admitting he was guilty with no evidence and um he eventually got i'm seeing different stuff here the wikipedia says he had yeah well eight months in prison and 12 strokes of the cane 12 wait eight months in prison and 12 strokes of the cane isn't it i would pick the cane dude you know we've had this talk before about like we know we're comparing uh pepper spraying Wait, eight months in prison and 12 strokes of the cane? I would pick the cane. Dude, we've had this talk before. We were comparing pepper spraying and tasing the other day. And your point was the tasing is in and out, over with. And I'm like, yeah, but the pepper spray is 20 minutes of level 5 pain.

And the taser is like 10 seconds of level 10 pain. I'd rather have the pepper spray here's a here's an instance where i've got a little bit of experience oh you don't want to spend time in prison you don't want every day every moment of your life for the next eight months is that what he said that's a serious bit yikes yeah i'd take some canings uh you know give me a i don't know how many more it would be. Maybe we could space them out. Maybe we could hit a different cheek on this week.

Hit my left cheek on the next week. I feel like my ass is going to be bleeding if you give me 20 or 30 of those. Oh, absolutely. Don't want to wait three months anticipating every Sunday at 3 cane time. Really? Just beat the shit out of me. Take me to the Singapore hospital and then send me home. I haven't been able to sit right for three months.

So here's what they, he ended up only getting, it looks like four or five, four strokes of the cane. And what they do is they go count one and they yell that really loud. And then there's a pause of like indeterminate length a few seconds or so and then they cane his ass and uh he said it left a few streaks of blood i spit all over my monitor and uh a few streaks of blood ran down his buttocks seven weeks later there were three

dark brown scar patches oh and four lines about a half inch wide the wounds hurt for about five days and then they itched oh you know what i've experienced an intense caning when i fell out of that bunk bed onto my ass onto that plank i so i i didn't say i've experienced a caning that that was there longer than the seven weeks so if i had to do that 12 times though i'd probably be pretty upset. So I would pass on it. Maybe you have the right idea with the spaced out ass beating. I don't want that at all.

I guess the trick is not to commit any crimes in foreign fucking countries. No. Dude, I'm going to Singapore. I'm, like, holding doors open for everyone. I don't know if that's against the law to not do. Maybe it's against the law to do. You had something in your tooth, sir. I had to get it out.

You let a security risk into the building. No, not the cane! Why did I come here on vacation anyway? As they're carrying me away. You could have gone to Amsterdam and smoked pot. Why'd you come here? Yeah, they don't can you in Amsterdam. No, they're pretty chill up there.

Give you a pot cookie. You guys want to call it a show? Yeah. Alright. PKN 315.