Painkiller Already - PKN 333

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

pkn333 you've been dominating the rust world kyle my team has are you carrying your load i'm carrying my weight to some extent yeah yeah but um some of the other members are carrying enough weight for like two or three extra people that's the thing it's not that i'm underperforming it's that um so paris who's a 50 patron who signed up just to play rust with me and has been doing an amazing job because he's got like over twice as much time in the game as i have and i have an unhealthy amount of time in the game i've got 1500 hours he's got 3500 and uh and midi um who is like me with around 14 or 1500 hours we're similar on the pvp level i guess uh similar knowledge of the game we've played a lot together over the years is like me with around 14 or 1500 hours. We're similar on the PVP level, I guess, uh,

similar knowledge of the game. We've played a lot together, uh, over the years. And then Middy just like bumped into this guy while playing rust the other day by himself. And, uh,

they just started chatting and the guy was like, Hey, I can come play with you if you don't have anyone, you know, I don't have anybody on. And maybe he was like, sure, let me add you on steam.

And maybe he looks and the guy's got 4,500 hours and hours and uh and like all of these accomplishments that he's made like like and you can see that he's been on there are certain servers that you can use for like aim training and people will just sit there and like do the recoil patterns over and over for hours and hours endlessly I do it as well um and this guy's can see, he's got lots of hours on UK in aim train. And so Middy said he was just killing everyone in the area by himself. So like we invited him to come play with us. He's from Finland and he is a fucking silent assassin. He doesn't say much at all. He doesn't like,, for, like, the first... Midi's been streaming a bit, and so, like, we'll be, like, talking about wings

and talking about PKA shit. This guy doesn't know anything about any of that shit. So, like, our base is decorated with, like, Gangster Grandma, Wings of Redemption wanted posters. Like, it's, like, things like Wings of Redemption, but instead of arms, he has chicken wings attached to his body. Like, all these, like, memes all over the base. like it's like things like wings of redemption but instead of arms he has chicken wings attached to his body like all these like memes all over the base original jokes abound yeah like lots of

inside jokes that like he has he and he never says a word he's just like all right killed one killed two triple headshot he's dead they're all dead he's a purist he just wants to play he just wants to fucking frag he just goes so hard in the pain it's absurd um we have just really i say we then almost in the same way that i say like we the atlanta falcons might do well next year if we can get matt ryan to play well and and this fourth overall pick in the draft goes our way we my rust team are dominating have you had any redeemable moments where you're like all right i belong i belong like uh yeah yeah for sure it's not that like we all go out and then i die and but then they come back with all the loot like i hold my own like i don't like 100 hours that's a lot yeah i'm not trash i'm just not i have to use the easier weapons i can't i'm

not good enough with the ak to even bother using so i use an lr but i'm still pretty confident with lr because i've i've played like so much pub g and so much call of duty like i got the recoil spray of an lr down well enough to pvp um but we're doing things that are like hard to do in the game like we'll go to like the monuments that already have four geared guys on them. And we'll fly in and two helicopters coordinated from different directions, all jump out and kill them all and take all of their, all of their gear and all the loot that's in the monument.

And just, everybody's just having a great time. But to the helicopters that sometimes explode on impact, but, and, but who cares? Cause we've cares because we're so rich we just go buy more um but oftentimes purchase helicopters i didn't know that yeah you get there are there are monuments in the game that are like these like safe zones where if you do anything aggressive to

another player you're automatically gunned down by ai and you can't fight the ai it's it's like fighting the federal government it's just it's just a loss. You can't beat them. You can go to those places and they're like automated stores so you can buy things with the currency that you're earning in-game called scrap. You can go buy a helicopter for 750 scrap, which is no small amount, but we've got 8,000, 10,000 scrap at this point.

We don't give a shit if we blow up a few helicopters here and there because we're often stealing helicopters from other players anyway. had people on on stream telling me last night being like oh rust has like a a role-playing server you should join that would be funny and i was like you know what and i was like picturing gta5 role play and i was like that that might be fun and then like after i raided midi and finished my stream like i stuck around for a couple minutes to watch his gameplay and kind of get a just look and like i think he opened up the crafting menu once or whatever it's called and i was like this looks like microsoft excel i have no desire to learn all of there's it's an overwhelming amount of information on that screen

where you're like oh Oh man, is this, Oh, this is page one of 10. Yeah. Like there's, and I can page through, Oh, I'm not even through weapons.

Oh, now I'm to ammo. Oh, now I'm to, it seemed like stressful. There are so many, I won't go into it. Cause it's just incredibly boring.

I think for people who aren't into rust, but like, it's very, very complex. It took me a couple hundred hours just to grasp the thing that you're describing right now how the crafting works and like all the requisites that you need before you can craft x item you need like four or five components to make this thing and then this thing is but one of three components to make the thing you actually want you know what i mean like you can't you have to like gather three or four things just to make

the thing that you add to other things to make the thing you really want. But to do all of that, you have to do two or three other things, you know, it's in, and that's what, that's the grind of rust that keeps people like just going and going for hundreds and thousands of hours.

But yeah, it's been going super well. Um, mid, uh, Middy was really thankful for your raid last night. I think he, he made enough money to buy himself a whole bushel of apples oh i hope you did yeah three dollars

at least at least apples are basic have you ever been to an apple picking orchard it's like they you never went on uh field trips there like where No. We went to a sod farm once. Wow, that's way worse. That's way worse. You can go pick your own piece of sod, but you can't take it home. We weren't allowed to touch the sod. Were there any black kids in your class? There were.

Can you imagine taking a black kid from Georgia and having him pick acreage of fruits and vegetables? Have you seen that on Reddit? Yeah. The guy's literally complaining about that. Yeah. They made him pick like acreage of fruits and vegetables and that's literally have you seen that on reddit when that guy's literally complaining about that yeah they made him pick cotton yeah this is taylor's idea like why you didn't pick cotton on a field trip no no they didn't take the kids from georgia and make them pick cotton that's a terrible idea and a little bit racist sometimes i remember asking when i was a kid coming home from my grandparents house being like mom stop so i can pick some of this cotton in this field and she stopped because I was like I was like is it gonna be as soft as a cotton ball and I was like it is kind of like I can tell what's gonna happen here neat all right

let's get back in the car and go home but I've never picked but the apples it's like I thought that was kind of fun but the whole point of like of the MIDI buying a bushel of apples is, I remember even as a seven-year-old on a field trip going to whatever farm it was where there were pumpkins and apples, they are giving those apples away. They're giving. There's nowhere else that you can give a seven-year-old a 30-gallon kitchen bag and be like, fill this with as many apples as you want.

And I remember at the time being like, I would walk through and i'd be like i'm like fucking huck finn i just like bite an apple one bite throw it over the other rows because there's other people in the rows i wasn't really thinking about it and just like one bite from each apple people don't care they're trying to get rid of all these apples and they know that you get like five apples into your bag and you're like oh these are still apples like this isn't that if i weren't allowed to pick this right now i wouldn't be stoked on it and so you don't even you never end up bringing home i remember me and my buddy would go to the edge where we weren't supposed to go where there was an active road near the orchard and we would throw tons of apples out there at a time roll them out there and then like

have like watch trucks run over them and be like that's like it's just like applesauce and like what it was something to do you can only were you like last year yeah yeah i was i was 28 i was 28 like sir we're closed for the last time. I'm making Abathoth. Making Abathoth. Oh, let him be. I think if you break that voice out anytime you actually get into real world adult trouble, you'll be fine.

Like I Yeah, anytime you break in line somewhere you break in line at the post office and someone hey i was standing here i had the memo packet for my mom oh go right ahead sir what you would probably get is some guy who's like oh let me teach you how lines work, buddy. And you're just like, oh, is it? You're foiled again on your huge gambit to skip in line at the post office. Sometimes it's long. Yeah, I'm with Kyle on that one.

Sometimes skipping in line at the post office is what would be worth it. I haven't done it. The lady behind the counter catches the whole conversation. Hey, young man, would you like a tour of the post office no no thank you just do the stamps please actually our last stamp lip liquor just went back to prison are you open walked in pretending to be retarded walked out with a job that's an american dream now you've got to go in every day. I mean, but the government

benefits. We've got a special program for young men like you. You forget to take off your wedding ring once when you walk in. You're married? No. Now your wife has to come in and do the voice too so it all makes sense

the premier stamp licker in all of atlanta i saw that post on reddit once where like uh the the two uh the two the man and woman who both had severe down syndrome got married despite like both of their families being like don't do it like what are you retarded i mean let him have fun yeah i'm with taylor on that like what why not who are they hurting because like i don't know maybe they fuck and make like a super retarded baby i i are people with down syndrome fertile i think generally they're not generally are you gonna take that risk that's like that's like kyle who are you talking to Are you going to take that risk? Kyle, who are you talking to?

Obviously Taylor would take that risk. Taylor's a bit of a risk taker in this regard. That guy and I would use the same birth control method. Remember Mongo, always pull out. What? It's not going to work. Two people who are likely infertile. I mean, it seems to be your fear is them having a child. they have a super intelligent baby it's the other way around they have a stewie griffin yeah

well now it's just so like a whole family like a fucking renaissance man taylor has it exactly right by the way the the women are like 30 as fertile as a normal woman. And the men are basically infertile. I'm not taking those, those, that risk. This seems like God knows what you'd create. But yeah, it was a,

how do you multiply things like that? A hundred percent infertile times. That's like dividing by zero. It just doesn't work. I remember the Reddit post ended happily, though. They were like, everyone warned us not to get married. I don't know who's typing this, by the way. It certainly isn't either of them.

Maybe they're audio dictating. It'd be funny if it got spelled out phonetically. Everyone warned us not to get married. They've been together for a decade. They had their wedding photo. You can imagine what it looks like. And then them 10 years down the road, you can imagine what that looks like.

Standing in front of the Chuck E. Cheese band. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, good for them. Good for them. That's, that's great.

I, you know, I bet they're just, yeah, I hope they're having a good time. If they do, there's typically a miscarriage. You've got me, That's great. I bet they're just... Yeah, I hope they're having a good time. Who's watching them? There's typically a miscarriage. You got me super curious about this.

Oh, Mo. Now, wait, you said who's watching them? Yeah, I'm just keeping an eye on these two. I seriously doubt that they now own their own house and they're living there. Can you imagine that? If that couple moved in next door and you're and after like a week you're like i still haven't seen anybody but them go in or out of the

house like somebody needs to mow so i was about to say like i was going to compare it to having an indian neighbor who didn't cut their lawn like would you rather not cut their lawn a lot of them don't i should really let them know that they've been going through their mailbox every day rifling through their things go over there and knock oh hello yeah is your your handler your keeper caretaker wrangler home oh no you're speaking to the head of the home all right well the extra large overly grown head of the home he's like oh but you've got me beat it's like oh i'm getting roasted you're a special like me i can see yeah yeah you just take care buddy

want to have a headbutt contest no yeah that would that would be shocking because you would have to wonder who's doing the watching them i i'm assuming that it's not like they're getting married and then moving into a house i'm assuming they get married and then one of them has a wealthy family and they live in a guest house of sorts. I like to imagine them living in absolute squalor, um, like in a shed out back.

Why do you like to imagine that? Like bubbles? Yeah. You like to imagine that? Yes. I enjoy it. It gives me the giggles. Jesus Rick,

these fucking retards can't stay here forever. What was Bubbles meant to have? So early on, Bubbles was supposed to be retarded. But after a while, the actors got tired of being called retarded. So they addressed it in the show where someone literally thinks he's retarded. And he's like, you think I'm fucking retarded? He's just like, I'm not fucking retarded. I'm just Bubbles. All right just like, I'm not fucking retarded. I'm just bubbles.

All right. They addressed it after a while. But he's just an odd fellow who lives in a shed. You're talking about Indians not mowing. Dude, my Indian coworkers, they were crazy in their lifestyle. None of them bought beds. So that surprised me. What did they sleep on?

They would take a bed sheet like not the fitted one but like a regular bed sheet put that on the carpet and sleep there they considered beds to be like kind of extravagant right they're like you know i'm still saving i'm still like you know like working my way up they packed people into rooms right like like and uh they wrecked the places they lived in not so much the girls but the boys just one got into art for example so there's all these like pastels and paints and and he would sculpt you know on carpet and it's just like the carpet had paint in it and clay and like whatever chalk he was doing shit in. This guy never got laid, of course.

He used to go to these art courses where he would draw nudes just so he could see naked women. What the fuck? That's made up. It's so stereotypical of Indian Facebook facebook guy or whatever this is so much more pathetic than the down syndrome situation i was describing this well his name was his name was uday and he had like seven roommates and no protection high five yeah i can't imagine thinking that a bed is an extravagance that reminds me of that scene in

sopranos where furio furio is talking to carmelo and he's like talking about putting the mirrors on the wall he's like mama think of mirrors as a nose in the air yeah no that wasn't like one guy either like none of them had none of my co-workers had beds unless they were married. All of his drawings just tits. I think I am getting better. All you do is make sticky pages for the next class every time you come in. What a fucking loser.

That is such a loser. Go to a strip club. He's going to places where like... No, they're cheap. They're too cheap to pay. He was learning to draw. He's making his own pornography. Yeah, he was. He's not like making

bettering himself. I'm trying to tell you, Kyle, his porn was getting better over the course of weeks. I can convince everyone i am serious by making a huge mess at home with supplies and then they will believe me when i go there not to stare at naked women there's no way he got his security deposit back i don't understand not owning a bed though because beds are fucking cheap like i've only ever known one adult man who didn't own a bed and he wanted one real bad like like like when i was when

i was selling cars like these three guys moved down from pennsylvania one of them was moving to chase his girlfriend story no no everybody's got a bed in prison you have it's mandatory promised land yeah but these three guys moved down from pennsylvania to atlanta two of them are just following their best buddy right it's these three guys are down from Pennsylvania to Atlanta. Two of them are just following their best buddy, right? These three guys are all best buddies, and one of them is moving to Atlanta to be with his girlfriend. And I can understand why, because he had shot over the moon with this one. She was super hot, and he was just an average-looking fella. And so one of his friends had plenty of money to do the move.

It's kind of expensive moving across the country, but he had all of his belongings. They had of money to like do the move you know it's kind of expensive moving across the country but he had all of his belongings they had a three-bedroom apartment together the other one did i think travis was his name travis had forgotten to keep paying the the the the payment on the the storage unit that had all of his belongings in it and so the storage company threw threw out a bunch of it sold the rest and now he's destitute how do you forget that oh it's all of your stuff he lost his bed and dresser and like all of the belongings that a young 23 24 year old man have to their name like like everything that they would put in an apartment lost to him. So I just remember going over to their apartment and like hanging out with these guys and drinking and

smoking and just having a good time. And like, I remember looking in, uh, Kyle's room and Kyle had like a nice room, like, like, like one night Kyle was at his girlfriend's house and I stayed in his room. I slept in his bed. We were all drunk. I looked in Travis's room, and it's just an air mattress on the floor. Oh, that's weird for no mattress, because it's a reminder when you wake up and there's no air. I've told this before, but he fucked a chick on that air mattress. That's impressive. Huge, huge move. And we were all blown away.

If you can get a girl to fuck you on an air mattress, then you might be something special. It deflated halfway through. Right? She kept going. Halfway through. That's a pretty solid air mattress. That's a Coleman. Okay, Acrobat.

Kyle, I have a question for you. You mentioned empty beds in prison or something like that. It would seem to me that an empty bed is highly desirable right like if i were in prison i would love to have the space to myself you know and not have a stinky guy did tough guys get their own beds did long tenured guys like who got the empty rooms so you mean a situation where you don't have a cellmate right a celly it was really just when someone would get moved out you know they go it either get shipped to another prison or they go home then you'd have an empty spot but it would get filled as soon as it needed to be and you really didn't have any options as far as that goes you could request to move to a different cell like um you could do that but usually it was

just to be with somebody that you were like friends with like to be closer to them on 60 days in they make it seem like they hand you a mattress or something you walk over to an empty bed and pick it yourself is that yeah that's jail though um in prison like they know where everyone's sleeping so like you know you've got i had a bed and i wasn't going to be anywhere else but in that bed and they told you where your bed was so it wasn't like there was no you know kyle's toughest guy on the cell block he gets no roommate like that that's not a thing no that wasn't really a thing and it also made it so that like someone couldn't be like nah like remember that scene in forrest

gump where he's walking down in the school bus trying to look for a seat yes seats taken yeah not here feeling so bad that's like exactly this scenario that i'm in my head you know this one's no no you you're not allowed to be here so but that's what it seems like they do in jail at least on 60 days in yeah jail's different because they don't give a fuck in jail. They're just putting guys in a big room. But prison, we've all got designated areas that we're supposed to be in. And as far as the smelly thing, like I've said it before, but you get your ass kicked for being smelly.

That's not a thing. Hey, bring that mattress in here, pretty boy. Bring that mattress in here. I don't even think i belong here forrest gump no not that not that kind of smelly car you remember your story with the guy talked too much and had the smelly hair oh yeah it's yeah that's a black people thing though he had that black people hair treatment stuff that just smelled awful yeah yeah that's that's what i was referring to i didn't care for that well everything everyone

was doing because of the lack of partitions right there are no partitions um the closest thing to privacy was when people would drape a sheet like from they'd be on the bottom bunk and they'd like hang a sheet on the bottom of the top bunk so it's like a curtain across their area i went to college they got their little nightlight in there. You know, we've all got nightlights for $8. They're all reading Harry Potter just like you, probably. I mean, look, probably not, but

they're reading whatever the library has at its disposal. A lot of Stephen King. How'd they stab that wizard-reading fruitcake in the cell next to me? And there's no book shaming at all. Oh, well, he'll have to take a shit eventually. He's here for three more weeks. You don't know.

You don't know. A colon of iron. You think Paco. That's funny. Yes, it's better to be not. I hope you go someday soon so that we can share stories. Wouldn't that in prison. I hope you go someday soon so that we can share stories. Wouldn't that be fun?

I hope not. Nothing bad, like vehicular homicide. Something like that. That's not good. Something on par with having weed shipped somewhere. Yeah, something that you just get a few months for. Someone told me my Honda couldn't go 140

miles an hour. Well, you did strike him going 97 you're one of them i see you with them yeah oh as you can see in my clients as you can see my clients instagram video here he was clearly doing 137 miles per hour then he made impact you're like the prosecution like calls me out on the lie like according to this speed camera he never even approached 100 he seems to be lying about the 97 school zone uh i don't know why he chose that pat just and then off to prison off to hang out with snow in alabama snow's almost certainly getting out very soon if he's not out

already hitting the streets but he couldn't possibly be a guest right is there that not okay i mean there'd be so many hurdles to making that happen i i think i've got his name written down somewhere i think maybe you don't just google snow no no his name was like i thought like most mexican names are like like our names like you just you can you could name them all right like like but his was like it was something complicated it was like it sounded like a little bit like ignacio but it was even it was there was like another blah blah blah blah like not ignacio colobo or something it was i've got it written down i wish there was a conversation where you have to explain to your probation officer why you've Googled like, and you keep Googling where to find snow in Georgia.

Snow in Georgia. Free snow in Georgia. And it's like, no, it's a friend I made in prison. His street name is Snow. Yes. this is completely innocent he was arrested minnesota sledding with appetited heads but that's okay that's yeah uh i don't know why he was called snow it wasn't he was a methamphetamine uh right you think he'd be a cocaine dealer with a name like that you think he'd be ice you. That's the job you want. That'd be a cooler name

if his name was Ice. I do like Ice, yeah. My name is Ice. When he said that, he said, you can call me Snow. I should have been like, you can call me Ice. What if I made up a street name for myself?

What if I made up a really ridiculous street name for myself? You get so nervous, you start mirroring his voice like that. You can call me Ice, because it's the only thing even colder than snow. They call me Sub-Zero. Is that right? Here's my heavy hitter, Liquid Nitrogen. Oh no, I've entered into a cold battle. I can't. There's a cold coming.

And then you're raped for this. Just put him on to me, bitch. Oh no. Oh God. Yeah. I hope he's doing well. He genuinely was like a really nice guy. I'm pretty sure he wanted to fuck me,

but really nice guy. Wait, that's just a joke. He was putting in his time. I was warned he might be grooming me but i was going to be out of there in 60 days you know we escaped any of that you know maybe maybe not i'm no judgment to snow you walk in there a long time i'd love to have him on the show and be like guys no tell the truth now that's all over were you trying to fuck me? Come on. I wouldn't say that.

You could say that if you want to perhaps have to tangle with snow. Cause I don't think, I think, I don't think he'd be like, yeah, I wanted that white ass. He'd be like, how dare you insult my character as a man.

First, you take my land. Okay. Go poorly. I don't want to poorly I don't want to ask to know that and what if he's offended you call me a faggot yeah of course he'd be offended gay for the stay shit there needs to be a word that rhymes with faggot that means stay

is there something that I don't think that's something that gex cons talk about is gay for the stay it's not like if they were in there for five years or 15 years or whatever and they're fucking dudes then they get out and they're like yeah you know how it is i was just gay for the stay i think they're probably a little more closed off about it yeah i would say so um i would say so for sure yeah i don't i don't think that would be a topic snow would want to to on. He would not at all, I would imagine. But yeah, yeah.

It's possible. Whatever. We'll let him live his life going on adventures. You know, who knows where he'll end up next? Another Alabama prison. A Georgia prison. And a Steve prison. The world is his oyster.

If he goes back, he's going back for life. Because he's committed a couple strikes at this point. And, you know, gang member and all. Hopefully he, you know, gets a job at H&R Block or something. Yeah, I don't know if the tattoos are going to mesh well there. Oh, just do the Joe Rogan thing. Full sleeves. Ski mask.

Does he have face tattoos? No. See that neck tattoos? I don't think so. He had a COVID mask that covered his neck somehow. Yeah, I've seen those. They've got like a full like bandana type thing that like comes all the way down. Yeah.

Wear that for the interview process. No, we love you here, but it's 2026. You need to take off your bandana. I'm not taking no chances. I'm not taking no chances. The 55th strain is coming right around the corner. Dude, the COVID thing is outrageous. One, there's a new strain, right?

It's funny. They called it the China flu, the Kung flu, yada, yada, yada. This new strain comes from UK, so they call it the African flu. Oh, my God. Seems a little race related. Who calls it that? It's in the news. I don't know.

Oh. How did they get there? Or did they not know? It was discovered in the UK. It's a new strain of the COVID thing. It's now in New York. So that's an issue. And I don't know how they discovered it was in Africa before UK since the first case was in UK.

I don't know. But that's what I'm reading. But the numbers on it are crazy. Like we're at new highs anymore. And it doesn't make news. It's just kind of we're done with the pandemic. What's that? I'm looking at

the election results. I'm sorry. You're seeing them. What? I didn't. I was saying, I think after the election's all wrapped up with the bow tied and everything, this will go back to being tippity top story everywhere.

Yeah, it keeps returning. It's definitely made the top story post-election. But then, you know, whatever. Trump tries to pressure Georgia Secretary of State for an hour on a phone call to find 12,000 more votes. And it gets knocked off the front page. 12,000 more votes and it gets knocked off the front page. Wait, so are they saying

vaccine, no go on this new strain? I've read both. I've read I don't know and I've read doesn't seem to work. I think it's early to know. This would be just like that game Virus or whatever.

The cell phone game where you have to build a virus and then you have to spread it throughout the world and try and kill everyone. And so you'll upgrade spreadability. Oh, causes sneezing for a couple points, causes coughing, stuff like that. But you don't want it to spread too fast and not kill enough people. Or I'm sorry, you don't want to kill people too fast or the death rate will exceed the spreading rate. And every once in a while will show like the world progress towards this is like 80 and then you'll finally upgrade like level 10 re re genoming or whatever and it's like new

strain adapted and like it goes way down again it's like fuck i'm gonna kill the whole world that's what kovid just did we come out with the vaccine and they go at upgrade we're we got we got a new flavor new flavor in town asking robbins for kovid and i want to hear kyle's election results he asked me on the edge of my seat but they um oh my thought process there there's the new vex oh the distribution on the vaccine apparently is horrific they said there'd be 20 million vaccines injected last month and they didn't miss it by a little it was like three yeah three million how are we doing that bad there's because there's so much bureaucracy holding back like who gets it and when instead of just being like everyone who wants it head to cvs pharmacy now like instead of

just doing that and getting 20 million doses into the populace they're like we don't want anyone to get it too early that doesn't deserve it heaven forbid a white healthy man should get it before a sick old black granny even though that she won't show up for three or four more weeks but we're holding that dose for her whenever she's ready like it's it's pretty right there there's federal guidelines and state guidelines and both of them are causing distribution like on the federal guidelines you could hold trump responsible right he's the one who's like we needed to go to this age group we need to go to this state that state etc on the state level there are like woke governors doing a similar type thing

and adding their own level of bureaucracy and it's slowing everything down if we had jeff bezos distribute the vaccine just like like they were fucking nvidia 3080s you know you just click on refresh until you get one and he sends it to you all 20 million would have definitely been sent back in november or back in december people should be going door to there should be fucking health care workers going door to door saying would you like the COVID-19 vaccine? How many in your household? All right, let's do it. There's not enough people to administer it.

How? How? Why is this so difficult? It seems like every nursing student should just be poking people all day. It's no big deal. It's an intramuscular injection into your deltoid. It's like as simple dimple as it gets. You can watch a 10 minute YouTube video and you've got it down.

I watched Marco Rubio get it. It looked simple. It looks super simple. And I don't know why, like, like I said, like every nursing student isn't just jamming people all day long. Yeah. Cause you gotta follow the rules and the red tape.

It's there for, for our benefits. Like I'll get it right now. Like, like just tell me where to go and I'll go fucking get it. Yeah. Well you can't go anywhere whitey. I know.

I don't deserve it. You guys mentioned white and black twice. I don't think that's actually part of the requirements at all. But age is... Oh, your job is, you know, if you're a front-line worker. I want to understand minorities are affected more heavily by the coronavirus. But I don't think that's in the distribution plan. And I've seen, like like woke people being like,

that's why it should go to white or black people first and oppressed minorities. They can't afford masks. That's just a buzzfeed. I don't know why black people are doing... I'm sorry, Joe. Would you finish your thought? I don't know why black people are doing worse with COVID.

Like I have my own theories that I've invented, like not as good healthcare, not likely to see the doctor as much, living in squalor like lots of people in one household, perhaps on towels and bedrooms full of people. What I can say probably

really is the black community, higher rates of obesity and higher rates of diabetes. And we know that obesity and diabetes are two that are like really no-nos. See, that doesn't make sense to me because every time i see a black guy walking down the street without his shirt off he looks like a fucking like magazine model like like like you know he doesn't work out and he doesn't eat right but he's got an eight pack and like like like like pecs how do you know that undercutting that man's hard work even black

guys are often like you know he's just like a two-month cut away from being awesome yeah yeah man that white guy in the bushes over there with the binoculars is admiring how hard i've been going in the gym oh so the election in georgia democrats are both leading uh there's 14% of the vote in so far. And it looks like Raphael Warnock is ahead by, I'm just doing the math in my head, 30,000, 70,000 votes. So he's leading 443,000 to 369,000, which is significant. He's got 54% of the vote to 45% of the vote. That's a big deal. He's winning bigly. So is John Ossoff winning 54% of the vote to 45% of the vote against David Perdue, which accounts to 70,000 votes.

Is there any analysis on it? Like with 14% in. 19 now it's updated while we discussed. With 19% in, I feel like, you know, is it the urban areas or the rural areas that have come in so far? Did they count the early votes early? Because if they did, the Democrats maybe should be leading even more than that, while the today voters will catch the Republicans up. It just updated again and the leads increased. I'm looking at the counties that have been counted.

It looks like um a lot of urban counties to be fair uh it's mixed it's mixed and it's kind of hard to weigh them against one another because some of these places that have already gone for purdue uh look like they're the less populated areas there's lots of lots of lots of red counties but then there's like 10 blue counties that are, and it's like the major metro areas, Augusta, Atlanta, Columbus, um, places like that. And so right now, I saw 54% to 46%, you know, eight points ahead. Uh, that's 60,000 votes. Um, it looks like the Dems are going to pull this out, have control of the Senate once you get the vice presidential tiebreaker vote to come in.

Because it'll be 50-50. I was watching an attack ad against... What's the black guy's name? Raphael Warnock. Okay. And they were saying he wants to just let all the criminals free. And I was like, this needs a fact check. That doesn't seem right.

He wanted to let nonviolent marijuana offenses out of jail. And I was like, that's good. That's actually, I'm okay with that. Too little, too late. Unless he's sponging records.

That is very true. Too little, too late. My friend was already molested dozens of times in federal violated, violated, humiliated, made kidding though just kidding i always think like wait a minute somebody's gonna cut that part out and there's gonna go fbs rusher got raped oh now it's gonna happen now yeah we'll see i don't know i don't know

what to make of a 19 vote i don I don't know. We'll see. Republicans always win these runoffs, though. Republicans always get it. I think their voter base is just less casual. It has not been always for the last eight years. If you look at the counties that Trump won every

bellwether county in the United States, except for one in Washington State this last time and yet you know lost according to oh he clearly lost and it's funny that I didn't think he won the he got more votes are you sure

Woody like there's not like a 1% chance that the fix was in they changed some parts and some voting machines they they pulled some ballots from under a desk. I put my conspiracy theories based on how many people would have to keep this secret. And this would be thousands of people keeping a secret. What about like a South Park scenario where you've just got one guy flying state to state stealing ballots?

That guy deserves it. If you can flip it by yourself, you should be made president. If you can steal an entire election and prove that you did it single-handedly, you become president. This can be one of those loopholes. We'll get the smartest guy to be president

or someone who has the most money in guns at his disposal. No, you don't want that. No. I know those guys. Amazon. Amazon Private Army. someone who has the most money in guns at his disposal. No, you don't want that. I know those guys. Amazon Private Army. Jeff Bezos doesn't have the most guns. He's just got the most money. That's Elon Musk now, right?

No. Is Jeff Bezos the richest man on the planet? Yeah, he's winning. I thought Elon Musk was second now you might be right i think with the tesla stock doing everything it's it's done i thought he got bumped up keeps going up it doesn't make any sense let's go hey did you see look you always you always on tesla for not the delivering the amount of cars that they're supposed to deliver did you see the delivery numbers for 2020. That's not why I shit on Tesla. I shit on Tesla. I've heard you use that one before. In my memory, which we all know is solid and probably the best on the show.

You're right. My complaint with Tesla is historically that they don't deliver on their new tech promises, right? The self-driving, the Tesla truck, for example. I don't know. The, uh, the... I don't know. They're like, we're going to Mars. And it seems like what they've actually done is make a rocket that can land, which is cool, but

we've been sitting on that accomplishment for a while now, haven't we? Seems like it. This Tesla Model 3, have they been shipping that same car for like five years now? Now they're getting better at it. They came just short of their 500... They wanted to ship half a million cars and they actually shipped like 484 000 or something close to that some close to that so uh that's pretty impressive that's roughly 500 000 give him a hand but i'm like there's a part of me that wants to short tesla because their stock doesn't

make any sense i was looking at this reddit thing today their market cap is higher than the next 10 automobile companies combined combined how does that make sense it doesn't make any sense they'll like issue more shares and dilute stock and it goes up they're like yeah good idea and i'm like no that's not what not what that does. What happens is a lot of people are like, ooh, there's Tesla stock to be had? Let's go, let's go. And can you believe it? I just got some Tesla stock.

Oh, I want some too. Well, they're running out now. Hurry. Is it fashionable? Like it's a trendy thing to jump in on right now? Like artificially inflated, do you think? Look, so here's the thing. Oh, Dakota, do you want to answer?

People who aren't like Woody. These non-mean and hateful people holding personal grudges against Elon Musk. They recognize that what we have here is a modern-day renaissance man, a modern-day Leonardo da Vinci, Ben Franklin-type character who's doing big things, right? I think Kyle's right. And they want a piece of it. Oh, who's, who's doing big things. Right. You know, I think Kyle's right. You know, like,

and they want a piece of it. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That, that I'm glad you finished or I stopped interrupting. So, uh, yeah,

yeah. They want a piece of Elon Musk and whatever brilliance he's going to do next. And I get that. And I, and I like it in a lot of ways. I'm glad that Elon Musk is out there doing super cool things or promising super cool things he's doing moderately cool things on the other hand his stock

valuation doesn't make any sense and i've been like should i short this i've had this should i short this thought for a while now i would have lost plenty of money it had i shorted it so i'm glad there's no money to be had betting against elon musk it's like traditionally betting against conor mcgregor like every so often if you time it perfect you might make money but by and large betting against that man is a mistake do we have a bet i feel like we made a bet and i forgot what it was was it the connor fight or something else was it the senate no the death pool's coming up other than that we i know what

you're talking about i was literally thinking about this last night i thought we had a bet for like five bucks for like maybe a ufc event or something and then we both forgot about it i think yeah maybe a historian will remember we i just remember us doing a bet like maybe two or three weeks ago and then forgetting about what we bet on yes and and if it's even transpired yet like for all i know we bet on like the college football national championship or the conor mcgregor fight or like some middling ufc fight that was happening that weekend i just don't remember i remember a bet taking place i remember like five bucks and you'd be like yeah five bucks and maybe even like for two things at once like maybe it was an event where two things were gonna happen and we're like

yeah five bucks on this and five bucks on that was it the two senate races by chance i think you guys usually do fighting more than that i don't know because like he did the political i mean it could have been the senate race but i don't think it was because like okay i don't feel strong i haven't felt strongly about that the whole way through i've just let i probably wouldn't bet on it um to me like i've kept saying like the attack ads like you think they're just really effective for me like i'm glad to see the dems are winning because i think that's my best hope for like getting legal weed sponge yeah perhaps speak sponge we'll see whatever but legal weed i'll settle for that you know um or at least decriminalized federally that'd be sick but yeah i don't remember what we bet on

but yeah we're gonna do a death pool um that that's we discussed it on pka but that's part of the part that got lost to to the um the wins um but yeah we just got lost as far as i know um because because basically what we was like let's do a death pool for 2021 and then i was like well instead of us sitting here for 20 minutes, Googling who's under 50 and looks a little ill right now. Let's take a week to like come up with our candidates. And then Thursday we'll come in each of us with like five guys. I took a different tech. I have six picks.

Okay. None of them look ill, but I feel like the rules, we can't pick someone if they're if they're like actively sick right right if the under 50 and not actively sick right what about someone who's been sick for a long time like magic johnson over 50 and still sick yeah dude aids or h, whatever he's got. That's not... All of my picks... Look, I don't know if you'll allow them,

but I pick people who I suspect have mental disorders, who are just a little manic, and maybe they've OD'd in the past, or just live a really dangerous lifestyle. Yeah, I have one in the top of my head that's like i hope you didn't pick this guy um because because he's like my my my main guy give us a tease give us i'll tell you if he's on my current he's a rapper oh i have a couple of rappers we're gonna have the same guy what what's his first is he a bit is he a big guy or is he little i have two different

about and one of them is indeed lil and has enjoyed little twist i'm sure odine in the past well fuck that's my guy yeah yeah he was having seizures like a year ago like he's getting taken to to the emergency room and stuff. That evens out. Yeah. Like, ooh, this person OD'd in 2016. As far as we know, they're kind of straight and narrow, but I'm not buying it. That's like my thought process on half my pics.

You start tweeting like pictures of cocaine to the guy the guy trying to push him over the edge. Start bullying people who are in addiction recovery. You're like, man, look at this Bud Light commercial. Pretty dope. Would it be a bad idea to mail them heroin? I don't know. As far as I know, you can only get in trouble for receiving mail.

It's provided that they don't snitch. Yeah, well, you'll have to sell out a felon that you know I don't know any felons yes I'm not allowed to even though they're nice people they're very nice people don't even rape you sometimes

prison yeah well anyway so yeah that'll be fun we get our death pool for 2021 down under 50s hard but it's i think it's fun i think it's more fun to pick like i don't know the next um who is the uh fast and furious johnny walker paul walker paul walker it's fun to pick the next paul walker right a guy whose hobby is like street racing keanu maybe oh how dare you right the keanu reeves hate continues look at this guy he's a motorcyclist wants him dead over there he's always right hundreds of

millions of dollars and looking out for the little guy. In between, like, helmetless motorcycle rides or something. I think he wears a helmet. You're probably right. I thought I saw him in an ad. Well, in the ad, maybe he takes it off so you can see it's Keanu. That makes sense. Do you want to goose it up to 60 years old or keep 50?

How old Larry King? That's exactly how old I want us to go. 50 is almost so young. It'll be years. And we will forget about this. Larry King's in the hospital with COVID and he's got to be in his 80s. Oh, he's 102. He's not that fat though.

And he has access to top health care. Nobody's frail. Yeah, it's not like healthy thin. It's like that guy can't eat more than a couple of soda crackers an evening like he's got no vitamins no minerals what is a soda cracker exactly like it's a saltine is that it is it that simple okay yeah you made an old timey for larry king that guy can't have more than a charleston shoe good and plenty have you ever had good and plenty they're terrible like not only did kids growing up in the depression not have regular food but this was the treat

like you want licorice no so peanuts right no good and plenty they look like mike and ike's but they taste like uh like a dishwashing powder or something and they're the worst yeah good and funny because you will never finish that box no do you guys like black licorice i'm not a fan no that's like a candy that i feel like was popular before people knew how to make candy. I like cherry licorice. They figured out candy and chocolate bars and Snickers. They're like, oh, fuck this. No more black licorice.

Red licorice isn't bad. I like that Kyle threw in, I like cherry licorice. That makes you not special. Everybody likes cherry licorice. I also like sugar in my coffee. Yeah. Oh, dude. Doda.

So update on the race. Now there's almost 30% in, 29%, and the lead continues. Yeah, this is updating fast. Every 10 seconds. Well, I mean, 30% in. I think Georgia was embarrassed with our counting in the last race and we're like you guys I need an update every 10 seconds

I need to know what you're doing you need to make sure you're not off on a smoke break when you're supposed to be counting votes in those cash counting machines where it just goes like real real quick that's what they should be doing probably many fewer votes because presidential election versus a January.

Yeah, it looked like there's like a... How many votes was this total? It was quite a few votes. So far they have counted 1.2 million votes. I don't know how that compares to the presidential election. I don't either. Probably way less than the president. That's what I would guess.

That would be normal. But this election has had such a bright light on it it's hard to say yeah and warnock is killing leffler like like he's ahead by 70 000 votes now she was the weaker republican candidate so she's the incumbent but she never won a race she was placed there i forget whose spot she took and it turns out that like if no one voted for you before you don't get that like power of the incumbency who tend to win re-elections it's almost like and the other guy's black yeah yeah that area the biggest pullback for um asaf from what i understand is like he didn't really really do well with black polling. They were just like another whitey,

huh? But, but he's in all those commercials with Obama and he's doing his best Obama impression. So I think he's, he's doing, he's, he's doing that vote for me and we'll do big things.

And this is like, man, you can't have him do an Obama impression and put Obama in the same video. Like, like we're catching on. We're not dumb. Can you do a whole poster? Obama and Trump.

You gotta listen to me. Lots of good people. Lots of smart people. Ask anyone. You gotta vote like your lives depend on it because they do. That's literally him in the commercial. I love the emphasis. Every time I hear him say, because they do, I'm just like, fuck, when will this end? I i'm tired of this commercial i've seen it so many times

you guys aren't seeing these ads i'm seeing are you no no no oh of course not in missouri i'm trying to watch a rust montage on youtube over here and like every five minutes it's just like you already know about radical liberal john ossoff that he hid money that he took from chinese communist and terrorist sympathizers that's a direct quote he's just a businessman doing business yeah you're like i'm not stupid i know i know but did you know he also and it's what did he fuck, what did he do now? What did he do now? Stomp a baby? Wearing a shirt in the pool. That would actually be a worse look than the other stuff.

Yeah, you can't wear a shirt in the fucking pool. What if it's a sun shirt? You know, the tight, like, no? Nah, not unless, no, no, there's no sun shirt wearing. In a pool, like, maybe if you're surfing, I don't care what you're wearing. I was just about to call an audible. Surf surfers wear them all the time sure of course it makes sense you're out there you know like i i mean i wouldn't want to do that silly sport begin with there's fucking sharks out there man did you know that the sharks in the ocean that's where they live bill clinton is the only president who could get a snapshot of him publicly while in

office wearing a shirt in the pool and it not be like ruinous for their image because i feel like trump it would reveal all the fat in the flab but bill never really tried to hide it as much he embraced his fatness obama it would have been like what do you do you're a normal guy what there's something else going on because you're not fat bush would have been weird but clinton just i just i don't want to get sunburned sue me and then that was just okay bill all right get back to getting your i gotta hide the hickeys i've heard shorts too i know about all the hickeys bill

i don't fucking care she's got some hickeys she's got some dyke hickeys on her ass you know you know you and ellen fucking i doubt that i doubt if i'm sure she's cheated on bill and i seriously doubt it was with a man oh there's no way hillary clinton is straight uh probably not i just i would bet i would bet real money that hillary clinton is i remember we had a conversation like a year ago or so about like hottest first ladies and i thought there were going to be a lot of hot first ladies throughout history you know it was like melania is the hottest ever and i thought that wouldn't be true because politics aside, these men are winners, right? If you get to be president of the United States,

you're a man of accomplishment, right? You are perhaps the nation's biggest winner, right? You're president of the United States, leader of the free world. I would have thought there would be lots of really hot women, really lots of hot first ladies. Now, I know most presidents are in their old. Yeah, they're older.

Right. So their women are going to be in their 50s or 60s. But I had this idea that if I looked up, I don't know. Nancy Reagan in her prime. Prime Nancy Reagan. Whoever the fuck married Nixon. The list goes on and on. Right.

Like, yeah, if you grab. I don't know. I imagine him eating pussy doing that. Right. Right? Oh, that good pussy. Like Ford or fucking Woodrow Wilson. It doesn't matter. These are winners.

They're going to pull hot pieces of ass, even if they're, you know, over 50. Now they were going to be the hot. No, no. It turns out most first ladies never had a peak no there have been um two hot first ladies and one passable that i can think of george bush's wife was passably attractive she was she was she was pretty the younger um yes the younger one can obviously obviously come on what do you ask it like the other one was like Betty White's older sister. She was as First Lady, but

my imagination goes wild at the 23-year-old version of them. They didn't have photographs back then. I'm sure there's some cave paintings of a hot Barbara Bush, but I don't know where they are. Somewhere in the south of France, I think. Stand there by the

first ever balloon. Just a flashbulb. But Kennedy's wife was actually hot, and Trump's wife is a literal model. At one point in our base, we did have a nude Melania on the wall, but that had to be removed for Twitch. Yeah, who the fuck? Good God. Oh, yeah, Woody.

You're really showing out now. Look, this is Barb Bush. Oh, no, no, Woody. You're really showing out now. Look, this is Barb Bush. Oh, no, no, no. This is actually proving my more recent point. I just thought you'd be interested in what she looked like. I'm not claiming that that's hot. He's prettier than her. He is.

Yeah. He looks like Jared Kushner to my eye. But her? Good gosh. Here's a wedding day shot. It looks like she got caught in a very uncomfortable. She looks like Terry Shivo. does she's actually this is a better picture of her she's pretty there

but not like let me get a picture of Terry Shivo in here she's pretty in that picture but not like you know just not really top notch I'm only into coma Shivo not the earlier stuff

wasn't terry shivo pretty oh god damn it ignore that like did that kyle he's the worst copy paster ever oh calm down i copied and pasted it was just a bad link it It's message.text. I know! It's what it gave me when I opened the image in a new tab. It gave me that. I can't help getting that. Control V. Give me Control V.

I will. Anyway, yeah, there are not a lot of really hot first ladies. I was wrong on that topic. I just thought presidents would pull top-notch tail, and they kind of didn't. No, they don't. Dr. Dre suffers a brain aneurysm and is in the ICU in LA,

so you cannot pick Dr. Dre. I didn't have him, but I have people like him. I didn't have Dr. Dre. Isn't he older than 50? How, how the, I think that black celebrities are, he's a way to go.

Um, black, black people just don't have the same lifespan. Um, and, uh, I think that specifically some black entertainers live a lifestyle that is conducive to early,

early death and demise. Um, I think that if you can get yourself like a, I mean, who would be a good one? Dave Chappelle is like super healthy, though. And I think he might even be over 50 now. So that's not good. He's ripped.

He's on the roids. Dave Chappelle is ripped? Because in my mind, he's gotten a little chunky. And he had... Like when he did his comeback, call it four years ago, his face was rounder. He looked like a different guy. Now you get older, your face rounds. No. Even more?

Hang on. Let me show you this picture of Dave Chappelle. Alright. Yeah, looking good. Looks like he's ready to step out there and play some ball shiny his head is shiny I like that he didn't even like buy a sleeve

of shirt he made one he clearly made that sleeve of shirt I wonder are we just not in touch with the high quality sleeve? Like maybe the trend or the fashion is to buy shirts that were cut like that. For all I know, that sleeve his shirt was $3,500. He made that sleeve his shirt at home.

I like to think that. Dave Chappelle himself with the pair of scissors. Like, oh, they fucking keep spreading. Yeah, that's... He's buff. He's pretty big. Yeah, he's on something. Yeah, he's gotten bigger over the years.

And there's some more pictures of him somewhere where he's just looking ridiculous. Huh. Anyway, he'd be a good... How old is Dave Chappelleappelle i'm guessing like 53 oh i think he's 47 according to this yeah 47 dude here check out this Dave Chappelle. He's looking good right there.

I thought, yeah, yeah, pretty good. Got the visible bicep vein going on. Mm hmm. Separate. He looked in the right picture. He looks like he got a little secret for you.

Yeah. He's coming over to tell you some shit. He doesn't like that. He's being photographed. Yeah, clearly not. See, this shirt? He purchased this wife beater.

This was sleeveless when he bought it. I'm an idiot. This is nine years old. It said the new Dave Chappelle will kick your ass. I'm like, ooh, new pictures. God damn it. God damn it is right fake news hungry i'm keeping my finger on the pulse of this election oh man it's it it's continuing

you know like now with 39 of the vote in the lead continues i don't know if i want the democrats to have all three offices like i'm not i'm okay with it i don't care they already took my guns away what's the worst they can do it's funny the guns are not something i'm worried about they're a handful of democrats like that guy from west virginia who's not going to be anti-gun and there's a couple more um i think guns are safe especially with a slim 50 seat you know majority but some of the other wackadoo ideas like they're the ones that concern me that i don't know you don't want that green new deal no not all of it anyway and i don't want um uh free college i don't want people student loans paid off you know some of that stuff maybe that won't happen we'll see yeah yeah i'm with you there too it's like the are you doing

what they're really gonna do is like get on these colleges about charging so much like do that okay with that they're charging way too much well yeah of course i'm tired of college football programs too like they're taking that money like it's fucking bullshit the amount of money they have and the students aren't getting any of it like college in those places should be just fucking free that's where it should be free and it shouldn't be coming from the federal government's pocket it should be uh no it's just free to go to fucking university of georgia now because we made so much goddamn money from football last year wouldn't that be interesting and then like the colleges with the best football teams become the most

prestigious because everyone wants to go there because they're free. And so suddenly like Harvard's not that good at school anymore because their football team sucks ass. But like Alabama is the top school in the nation taking over from MIT. Alabama's about to win the national title again. Again. Ohio does not look easy to beat, but you're probably right. Yeah.

Georgia won their bowl game by the skin of their teeth. Came down to like a 54-yard field goal or something, and they won it in the final seconds. The Peach Bowl against Cincinnati. An unbeaten Cincinnati team. It was a very close game. Yeah. I'm pretty sure NC State won their game too.

Didn't they get in a fucking brawl and everybody got in trouble? Oh, no, they lost. They lost to UK. Did they? Someone did. I was just like watching ESPN with the volume off, but I don't remember the teams. There was like a huge fight.

Like I saw one guy go down and an opposing player kick him in the face. Oh, well, I'm proud of our boys if that was indeed nc state i don't i don't recall exactly what the teams were kentucky beats nc state in a chippy gator bowl so maybe you're right uh yeah that doesn't sound like there was because it was like the brawl that i saw would have been the main story like they were going crazy it wasn't one of those things where like, hey, let's keep these two apart. It was like, get them! It went crazy. It was a real fight.

NC State's still ranked. If they finish the season ranked, that would be uncommon for us. And I think we have a, when I looked, we had a top 25 recruiting team. I think this is still going on. But that's always neat. I don't know.

You're looking at a program that's about to be a perennial ranked team. I wonder what UGA finished the year off ranked. I don't know. Top 10. Probably 10. We went 7-2,

8-2 overall. They are 9th in the highest one that i see whatever well it's but the cool thing about being a georgia fan is they always have a top-ranked recruiting class and uh every year is another like you're an actual title contender annually yeah yeah it'll be nice to fucking win one uh yeah i i mean that's not even in our like wheelhouse yeah it's not a thing yet but i get it it's not on the radar that's how it is with like most of the atlanta teams and georgia teams it's like we'll get there pretty regularly but we we're not going to win. It's very upsetting.

Very upsetting. That shit the Falcons pulled a couple years ago. The shit the Braves pulled this year. Falcons being 28-3 up in the Super Bowl going into the second half. And then this year, the Braves being up three games to one against the Dodgers in the series and then UGA coming in ranked like third or something in the country and and losing the two games that mattered it's it's a little upsetting all right well that's well over an hour uh PKN 333 yeah