Painkiller Already - PKN 335

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

pkn 335 so kai you were just saying my guy i forget his name like alexei nagovanov or something alexei russian russian name i think it's navoli or nat navoli from woody's death pool uh woody selected him of course because vladimir putin is uh well he kills anyone who opposes him it would seem putin's not careful i've heard. Well, he's been arrested by the Russian What do they expect to happen though? Because he's been arrested like dozens of times. It seems like if they wanted to ice him, they could have done that already. But maybe this is the time that he bit off more than he could chew. See, maybe I'm being pessimistic, but I think a lot of people are like,

ooh, Woody's pick has been arrested. He's under Putin's control. This is trouble. I don't share that. I feel like if they were going to kill him, you know, he'd have an accident while he was roaming free. Now that he is under Russian control, I feel like they just want to jail him. Yeah, they wouldn't want it to look silly or like vicious or anything. Those Russians. I don't know man like i could see him having like a um who was the uh child molester

that had the dirt on all the celebrities and politicians and then they killed him what was his name yeah that guy i believe they might epstein him or maybe while he's in custody they give him some sort of a polonium injection as they're apt to do over there. Or maybe a couple of like your first suggestion was maybe a couple of Putin nationalists in the prison were so angry at him speaking out against Putin that they just had to stab him. And then suddenly those guys got nicer cells. I've been in prison all over the place for the rest of the term they have nice drywall cells

and like Netflix and cool shit yeah maybe I don't know I just I could be wrong I'll be shocked if the under 50 ends up being the fastest death pool ever they did fuck with him a little bit

I guess when he turned himself in he kind of turned himself in he didn't do that but as they were taking him in he's like look i'll go in i'm not gonna fight i'm gonna struggle but i want to bring my attorney with me and they're like no and he's like no no it's it's the russian constitution you have to do this uh you know i'm i understand i'm under arrest but i am allowed to have an attorney and they're like no and then that's it he didn't get his attorney so wow i so maybe they won't follow the rules i'm not sure i mean they're a pretty brave attorney to be like hey this guy i'd be like are you fucking high i'm going to go represent some fucking rapist or something.

They should have said yet. I fucked it up. I was like, how do I say just one syllable in a Russian accent? That would have been the way. So anyway, yeah, yeah. So that's some progress. We'll see where that goes. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean?

Coming into a hefty sum of $5 here pretty soon. $10 even. Kyle, you're about to come into a hefty sum of $5 here pretty soon. $10 even. Kyle, you're about to come into a hefty sum of $5 because the Blues won the first game against Colorado before we started the bet. And then game two, the Blues lost. I know. I know.

I was watching in pretend land. Yes, where I watched the games. Yes. And I'm sure you checked the box score. You're like, oh, it's my favorite players. That guy. Yeah. Kyle knows a little bit about hockey.

Kyle knows, for example, what's an average amount of shots in a game for one team to have? Shots? Like a 10? Yeah, like a shot on net. Oh, I don't know, man. Like 20, I guess.

I'm going to guess current NHL, 36 per side. I was going to say like high 20s. That was just my guess. I was going to say like 27, 28. That was pretty close. I was hoping you would miss it by a lot, but in retrospect, it's not that hard of a question. Oh, whoa, 60 minutes long.

You should have just asked me how many players are on the ice for each team because I would have struggled with something like that. Is it five, six? I don't know. I mean, either one could be right. Five on the ice, and then the goalie is the sixth. 31.5. Damn.

Shots are going up. It's the higher scoring era. Dude, I switched into my, my glasses for the first time. And the way I've always treated glasses is as an absolute last resort. And for decades now, literally decades, I've never fucked up my resubscription plan for my contacts to where I had to rely on the glasses. And it was last night, like I was way overdue on my, my contacts and I was trying to fall asleep and I, you guys don't wear contacts, but like, there's like this sticky eye feeling where you're like, my eyelid is sticking to my eye. My contact is so old and dry.

So I got up, washed my hands, took them out and put my glasses on and putting your glasses on after not having to use them for years like everything's so far away i'm not used to this because if you wear glasses constantly your brain tunes out this blurry area that's surrounding it but i'm not used to that and so i'm just kind of not feeling good all day because i can see so much blurry oh no it's like looking at life through a paper towel roll is that how you describe it okay yeah it it? I can see good through here, but my periphery, it's fucking nonsense. So what I think I'm going to do is in order to avoid this in the future, I'm going to buy some really cheap, ugly glasses

that are just whatever the biggest lens I can get in front of my eye to make it so that there is no nonsense sector. And I'm going to look silly but I'm going to keep these also so I need to go in public. Yeah. Geordie LaForge style visor. Isn't that what it is? Well, I just

realized like people wear glasses their whole life and they don't mind like I'm sure I wouldn't mind if I had some bigger lenses. Wouldn't be too bad. Or if you just wore those like consistently. I think my lenses are bigger lenses. Wouldn't be too bad. Or if you just wore those consistently. I think my lenses are bigger than yours. I think they are. Or, I don't know, my head.

Those lenses are this big. Did you get the biggest frames they had at the store? No, I just tried a bunch on until I thought they looked right on me. Did you, from left to right right when you were trying them on did you have to go pretty far to the right? I did. I remember I put some on and I just looked like

my, it was like I was obese right here. Like it was like pushing in. She's like, okay yeah not not that one though let's try let's try the 1450s no no let's put 50 okay we have 1700 here which vet did you go to for your lenses woody i feel like like i just got it's more big dicked by taylor like like did you wear the magnum size glasses like no i just have an ordinary size head i've never had any complaints before here's made out of spring steel

i should like to do like a stolen valor like have you ever seen that video where they it's like some guy in like ukraine who's eight foot seven he's like the world isn't made for me and i just like have mild inconveniences about hats it shows me it shows me flying comfortably home i am that guy's life is so sad look up anybody out there look up the tallest man alive and like he got hit first of all his feet are so far from everything else that like he didn't even Anybody out there, look up the tallest man alive. First of all, his feet are so far from everything else that he didn't even know when he got frostbite. He just didn't know.

I think he was either Ukrainian or Russian. So it was either whoever the leader of Ukraine is or maybe even Putin that was like, make him some custom shoes. And they made some custom shoes the size of a normal person's torso. It's like they sewed 10 shoes together how big this is and it shows him like getting around because he's like he's a

celebrity but he's a russian celebrity for being huge and so it's like he still lives in a shitty little house in the snow he has to and it's like what kind of work is he doing is do they have him it's like you know they're are they taking him to a training center and taking his blood and seeing what they can do to make monster russians it's like no he uh reaches the highest up boxes at the post office oh i literally was thinking of that job but home depot i was like i've got a job for him i'll wait for my chance but i've got it and even then you have to use him sparingly because you'd be like igor his name might actually be igor like you reach up and grab that and he's like my back it's like it's like at eight foot eight and a half inches tall and 485 pounds he's the world's

largest man it's like it sounds like made up numbers like if you asked a six-year-old how big do you want to be when you grow up like that's the kind of answer yeah like when you ask a kid like how old do you think i am and they're like 10 like 10 years or either 10 or like 55 they don't have no conception of age yeah it would suck to be that tall it nothing's i think we've done this before but you know would you rather be four feet tall or seven feet tall? There's only one person on earth who has experienced both. I know. There was a guy who was born a dwarf, and then he had some sort of...

What? Pituitary cancer or something. Pituitary problem, a tumor pressing on it. And so he had not enough growth hormone. And he was like four foot seven when he was like 12 and by the time he was 29 he was like well over seven feet tall yeah i'd rather be seven feet for sure like nobody's gonna bagel boss you if you're seven feet tall you know there's plenty of women who are who are like who would like fetishize someone who's seven feet tall but

there's got to be so few women that fetishize dudes that are four feet tall like so few yeah it's like even other even like three foot eight women they're not into four foot tall guys yeah jesus yeah they're like getting tossed around it's a tough tough dice roll and and the thing is there's plenty of six foot tall guys who want themselves a little three foot eight tall woman they're like oh the things i can do who just she's like i'm four foot nine i'm the shortest girl you'll find on this site and i'm like that's a okay i'm okay with four nine does she prove it no well she almost always does threesome stuff so she's she comparatively short two guys or two or a girl and a guy? Girl and a guy.

Just two very tall friends. Well, that's not fun. That's no fun. I'm kidding. I actually thought you were going to go the other way on that, but... I want them to pick her up and her to be just dangling in the air as they spit roast her because she's so tiny.

I saw her and I was like, alright, so we've got this one chick who is acclaimed to fame. She's pretty. She's well-proportioned, but she's only four foot something tall. All right, cool. And then there's a guy because you have to have a guy in the mix-up. And I'm like, who is this other just ordinary attractive chick? She's not a circus freak at all.

They couldn't find someone with 900 piercings. Yeah, a bearded woman. Like, I don't really know what she's bringing to the party here. But this 4'9 woman, she didn't have like dwarven proportions. I know it's not dwarven because that's like the way it's said in Lord of the Rings.

I like that though. Stick with that. She looks like a normal small woman. She doesn't have the sausage fingers. Yeah, she didn't look like she was a tall dwarf No she's uh You know what I'm talking about Hey I'm gonna find this bitch I'm looking for her right now

My Belle Delphine subscription just expired Shortest Girl on OnlyFans All about petite Um My favorite teen blonde Girl on OnlyFans. All about petite. My favorite teen blonde. I'm 18 and I love doing free dick ratings for my subs. Okay.

And there's this chick called Tiny Texi. Free dick ratings for your subs? Then it's not free, is it? I found her. In this case, the other woman looks like a full-sized woman but uh oh wow she is super tiny see that woman on the right has to be a large woman too yeah yeah i kind of feel like they juxtaposed her against it yeah there's some forced perspective there because like that chick's tit is bigger than little girl's head by a long shot. People say, oh, her tits are bigger than her head. No, her tits are bigger than her head by a long shot.

They're using the same thing, bringing up Lord of the Rings twice in one minute. But this is how they made the hobbits look small. It is. She's absolutely standing three feet closer to the camera. She's standing closer. She's close enough to be as big as the man. Her shoulders are not broader than that dude's. Although she is a little thick around the middle.

She's got a little bit of a... They pulled out all the stops to find everything going on there. I've been focusing on the tit area. I was just looking right below the tit area. Because I think she's trying to pull a second even tinier girl out of her vagina I for some reason I find like look I'm sex toy positive but the tails the the I think it's a lush right it's a lot yeah that's the lush it's not hot to me no yeah I don't think it's meant for you wait that's what it's called

the the tail butt plug no it's not a tail butt plug it's when there's that little pink uh dangly thing coming out of the vagina and it's a remote control vibrator it's like an egg that goes in and the tail also vibrates it's called though to taylor's credit i've seen it in the butt too um but it just it's like an uh try not to say I drop like a, a water teardrop teardrop. Thank you. That's what I'm looking for. It's a teardrop shaped thing,

but the teardrop is a little extended and there's a tail and, um, and it goes in a girl's pussy and it vibrates. And I guess it's popular in chatterbait because you can donate to make it vibrate. And that just becomes a revenue source. I guess a lot of guys get off on like controlling it because not only it's not like, yeah, I'm going to turn it on.

You're like, I'm going to make it do this wave pattern. Like, and it's, it's highest intensity is crazy high. It comes with an app. It's called the love sense app. And cause that's the company that makes them. And you have this complete control with this little wave that you can draw. Or there are pre-programmed patterns, too, that like super perverts have created. Of course, I haven't created.

Or you can just like play Spotify on your phone and it'll vibrate to the songs. So it's it's pretty cool. Sex toy. They also do make. I don't know what he's going to do. So hot. make butt plugs no chick can make it past eight seconds into that song yeah i don't know it feels almost like sloppy or maybe i get like after birth thoughts or like yuck stuff it's just not hot to me i don't know my mind doesn't go to the right place with the

lush it looks a little bit maybe like a like a tampon string maybe that's it you should make it festive put like a jewel on there well you got it the tail is part of the the fun because it it vibrates as well so like if she's wearing with panties the tail can kind of like flip up and it's providing some clitoral vibrations yeah good times I'm a fan of the toy myself. I have the Lush and both butt plugs. It's like a $190 kit or something like that. Can't find my Lush, though. I think someone stole it.

Do you think you could, like, plug it in? They smuggled it out of there. I think someone stole it. All right, I'll clean it up. Hey, wait a minute. Yeah, yeah, no, I just... I'm not going to go. I'm a big fan. One in the asshole and one in the pussy. Of course you can. Have them harmonize. I'm married. Yeah, yeah. No, I just... I'm going to go. I'm a big fan.

One in the asshole and one in the pussy. Of course. Harmonize. You can either have them harmonize or work independently. Two entirely separate disjointed songs. Oh, no. I was trying to find two more holes for a barbershop quartet. Can we put the other ones?

Not the ear. Not the ear. And it's the Simpsons one where it ones? Not the ear, not the ear. And it's the, the Simpsons one where it's Homer, Apu, Wiggum. I bring it out to that. And it has like infinite distance. It is infinite range through like,

uh, you know, you know, your, your phone signal. So like the, if your partner has also has the app on their phone, then your phone talks to their phone,

which then controls the thing. So you have access around the globe to, to perfectly control the thing it's really fun very nice it's nice i have never used one of those maybe i'll buy one it's good it's it's real fun real fun um yeah the uh the death pool's coming up i i'm hoping that your man doesn't die though um but what else we'll lose yeah but uh it's hard to hope he does yeah i kind of hope he lives for like decency and world peace reasons right um but the mcgregor poirier fight is this weekend and i was wondering what your thoughts on the outcome of that potentially being are. He hasn't fought in forever, it seems like, as someone who doesn't pay attention.

This is Conor? Yeah. Conor's last fight was against Khabib, right? No, it was against Cowboy. It was against Cowboy, yeah. It was about a year and some change ago. It's my understanding Conor wanted to fight more often. But I think the UFC only likes to use him when they can make more money.

And since there was no crowd, it was only television, it's hard to pay Conor what he commands when you're just doing pay-per-view and you don't have the gate. So Conor's been a little frustrated, but now he has a thing. Conor hasn't had a good win in a long time. He had a win against what I call the ghost of Cowboy. You know, Cowboy's on the decline pretty hard. He's 36 or 37 years old now.

It was a convincing win. He beat him like he should have beaten the ghost of Cowboy Cerrone. Sure. So it's hard to knock it. It is possible not to give it the credit it might've gotten five years ago. And then prior to that, you just have like, he had a loss against Khabib,

but everyone loses to Khabib and he didn't look terrible in it. Right? Like he went around. No, I don't think, I don't think anyone else is. No, no,

no. One other person may have won around against Khabib in his whole career. Unless Gaethje won a round, Conor's the only one. I want to say Gaethje did. And it's controversial. A lot of people felt like it shouldn't have been scored that way. Anyway, there's not a lot of money to be made in betting against Conor. Yet here I am thinking that because he hasn't really shown me much since 2017,

16, that why would he do well against a current fighter like Poirier? That's half a decade ago now. He's already beaten him once. I could be wrong. Well, my money's on Connor. I think he's already beaten Poirier once.

I think Connor has improved as much as Poirier has in the meantime. I don't see any reason why I wouldn't beat him a second time. I think that Conor is going to win. It's going to be a fun fight regardless. It's a decent little card.

I was right. His last win was 2016. His good win. That's when he beat Eddie Alvarez. Then he lost to Khabib and he beat Cowboy. That was January of 2020. Just over a year. A few days more than a year.

Yeah. That's exciting. He's supposed to be one of the biggest in the world again. Biggest what? One of the biggest cards in the world. Purchases in PayPalpal or not paypal uh pay review it'll be big i don't know if it's gonna break any records it seems like things always break records because like there's more fandom i guess yeah there's more people to buy

and more fandom you know like i don't remember who was talking about this a while back they were they were talking about how uh you know all those old boxing fights whenever they're like oh this was the biggest fight of all time it's like no it wasn't no it wasn't there's just more people now there's more people now like like i get it the ali versus frazier was big but there's just a lot more people now there's a lot more human beings forget and and obviously you know television works around the fucking globe pay-per-view works everywhere that i know of i saw dana white really um almost goading people to try to um pirate the fight yeah well he's like i look forward to you calling me with your tears or something like that quote is 90 right yeah he i i want to say in the last COVID release, they made it harder to illegally stream.

And when Destiny said it, it made a certain amount of sense to me. Like that business model is very important. Streaming during this pandemic has become a bigger thing and they put in some protection for their content creators. Okay. But I think the UFC is very excited about people fucking with them now. We'll see how it goes. And in terms of big fight,

there's no titles on the line, right? I feel like when Conor was smashing it in PPV, he, of course, was the headliner, the A-side of all the fights. He's the guy taking nothing away from him. But it was usually an event you wanted to buy. The A side of all the fights. Like, he's the guy. Taking nothing away from him. But it was usually an event you wanted to buy. You know?

Like, before his fight is another great fight. Another title fight. And underneath that third, there's like five big fights. Of the five big fights, all five would be interesting. Now, like, Kyle, are you excited about Matt Favola versus Otman Azietar? Yes. Nope. Yeah. How about this?

There's a women's strawweight fight, Marina Rodriguez against Amanda Ribes. I read this stuff every day. I don't know some of these names. I know Ribes, but, yeah, not excited about those fights. I feel like the second fight should have been for the heavyweight title, like getting that taken care of. And Israel Adesanya should be on this card. One of the main people should be on this card.

Max Holloway, instead of last week, should be this week fighting under Conor or something like that. I love that idea maybe they're hoping that connor can pull in enough money and not have to burn other fights i don't yeah understand how it works exactly but i guess connor said he doesn't want anyone else who gets pay-per-view points on the card he feels like everyone's buying it for connor therefore connor should get the lion's share of the money now i'm not trying to take away his money but as a customer i'm like oh okay but conor mcgregor cards were super bowls now this is just a card with literally no title fights and a bunch of fights that i'm not excited about i don't think i don't think it's going to break records yeah i don't either um and they

haven't really promoted it very well i don't think i saw them on espn but that's the only place i've seen or heard about this outside of like you know i'm on reddit obviously on the mma stuff and i i've got mma like uh youtube videos recommended to me all the time i get it there but that's because everybody who's getting that is was already gonna buy the thing you're already like a sports fan or you're like, you're watching ESPN an hour a day or you're, you're whatever. But like, I don't see it on, I didn't get it anywhere else. And it wasn't, it wasn't like pushed to me anywhere else. And like pre-roll ads or radio or any of the other places, like to compare it to the, the democratic runoff, I was getting that everywhere. Like They spent a billion dollars or something on

advertising that thing. They don't call it advertising. What do they call it? What do they call it when they pump all that? Campaigning? Campaigning, yeah. Oh, okay. That was outrageous, but I'm not getting this from anywhere. I don't think it's going to be a big card.

Not a record-breaking card. I think it'll do really well. Better than the last. If Conor gets beat up pretty good and loses and the card doesn't do as well as Dana White is hoping, is that the beginning of the end for Conor?

As far as being a big draw? I think a lot of people would say... It's all of Ireland, right? That's a huge thing. Having everyone in Ireland buy it every time. I think a lot of people would say yes.'s a huge thing like having everyone in Ireland buy it every time I think a lot of people would say yes and to me the question is whether or not Connor wants to work for less right because so it's not crazy for like a champion to lose

his belt and keep fighting and make good money instead of a million dollars a fight they're making a half million or three or third of a million a fight but I mean I would fight for a third of a million to fight. But, I mean, I would fight for a third of a million, probably. Like, you know, this is what they do. Conor, I think he will see if he wants to do this

for regular people money. Yeah, I don't think he does. I don't think he does. I think this is kind of a must win for Conor. Because I don't think that he fights again if he loses this that's i can see where yeah that that sounds rightish to me however if he wins i think his like trajectory is immediately just peaked out i i think that like what happens after the yeah title shot and then like the rain begins anew you know like it's it's uh it's he's right back to where he was five years ago because there's no more khabib yeah i love his ariel awani uh interview when he's just gonna

bring it up calling could be the coward for like running away from the sport and all this stuff and like every now and then he'll pepper in, I know there's family issues and stuff and how best to luck with that. I'm just a coward. It doesn't, I don't, I don't feel like you laid it out. So you have to know,

he's like, look, this guy retired when there are challengers still out there. This is a coward who doesn't want to face me. And it's like, Connor, didn't you fucking just retire for the fifth time? How many times? I don't know how many times Connor's retired on social media.

Oh, two real retirements. It has to be like five times where he's gone on Twitter and said that he's retired. It's like belt defenses, zero. I'll do Greg's what Greg said. Zero. He has never defended his belt ever. In all the titles he's won,

which is like three years ago, he's never defended a title. And he's calling Khabib a coward. And it's like not only has, and the people he's listed out there that Khabib is afraid of, Conor McGregor, Poirier, Gaethje. Diaz.

Diaz. These are all people he's already beaten. Ferguson he hasn't fought, but that's because Ferguson lost his fight and didn't get a shot. But he's like, he's afraid to face me. He's already faced and beaten you. He's already faced and beaten Gaethje. He's already faced and beaten Poirier.

All these people you think he's afraid of. No one beats me two times. That's true, actually. But anyway, it was just a masterful troll that Connor laid out there. Like, all right, all right. I tip my hat. I see what you're doing. I wish he had compared it to if Matt Serra had retired after beating GSP.

Like, that would have been a fun troll. Yeah. Because it's so wrong. It would be so wrong to say, like, whoa, that is not at all what happened here, Connor. Oh, it is. Oh, it is. It'd be like if Matt Serra took the belt from GSP and ran, ran like a little schoolgirl back to wherever the fuck.

It's funny. Yeah yeah that would have been a good line because it's just it's so wrong it's the sort of thing that might have actually made i love i love when he made khabib mad like like it almost worked it almost worked it would have been it would have been such a great storyline if it worked if he made khabib super mad and khabib came out and ran at connor and connor KO'd him like he did uh jose i'm trying to remember what how like connor was retelling the story of the fight and he was like so our fight finished and then he was so scared he immediately jumped out of the cage and ran away no no he spit on you because he's an asshole And then he jumped over the cage to attack your team.

After beating you, Connor, he decided a 1v4 would be cool. But it was pretty funny. Yeah, I like how he's spinning it. He knows how he's spinning it. He wants to fight. To his credit, he clearly wants to fight Khabib again. True. True. I like that he's spinning it. He knows how he's spinning it. He wants to fight. To his credit, he clearly wants to fight Khabib again. True. True.

I like that about fighters. It's a thing. A lot of fighters will do that. I mean, you pull them out of their octagon in a stretcher, and they're like, get me a rematch. Not smart, but I admire it. I love Conor. I don't want him to fight

khabib again let khabib go let's go get him out of here let's fight some people that that don't want to wrestle fuck you for three fucking rounds and just just hold on to you and like smash it's a bad matchup let's get some people that want to throw some jabs in there against somebody like you who's incredible at boxing like like that's your matchup matchup. Poirier is not a good match for Conor. I think Conor's got him again. I think his boxing's going to be way better. He's going to be faster. You're making me think that too.

I don't know. We'll see. We're all going to know for sure in a couple days. That's the beauty of the sport. It happens every week. And one way or another, we know who's better. And if we're not quite sure after one fight, Dana White will just schedule another one six months from now, and they'll do it again.

That's what's happening right now with Max Holloway. He won this last fight convincingly, and Dana's like, well, I guess he fights Volkanovski again, huh? Yeah, that's the third time's a charm. I love that, and I like that you can lose fights in the UFC. In boxing, if you're not like 33-0, then no one cares about you. In MMA, you can lose one. Hockey teams lose all the time.

Why can't MMA fighters? You can still be the best even though you weren't the best one night. You've been following the NFL at all? A little bit. NFL? NFL? The National Football League. Familiar? Yeah. The – Oh, I was thinking – a little bit an fl an fl the national football league familiar the uh i think the four teams the bills are about to face kansas city and tampa bay is about to face green bay i think how's that

yeah i think so i i like look i don't know why everybody's always hated tom brady so much like look i hated it when he was like i was a Colts fan for a long time because the Falcons sucked after Vic. And so, and I really liked Peyton Manning. He beat us every year. It seemed like every year Peyton Manning would be right there. You know, one went away from the Super Bowl and Tom Brady would be there to fucking put his foot down. And it just happened over and over and over. I don't know how many times it happened. It felt like it happened every year. And it just happened over and over and over. I don't know how many times it happened. It felt like it happened every year. But I like Tom Brady. I like the story of Tom Brady. It's cool.

I like that he smooches his son right on the mouth. That's cool as shit. That's gangster stuff. He does it on camera. He does it on camera. And jobs incoming. It's a generational thing. His dad does it to him.

He does it to his son. Is that true? I want to see him do one of those three-way kisses. His dad does it to him. He does it to his son. Is that true? I want to see him do one of those three-way kisses. You only see it in porn. His dad kisses him on the lips, and then he kisses his son on the lips. I don't care for it. I don't care for it either.

You're going to open-mouth kiss your dad? You just won the Super Bowl. Open-mouth, you added that. With tongue, Tom? What deal with the devil have you made here? It's a Super Bowl win, dad. Of course with tongue. This is one of the special moments. Have you ever seen that clip of that guy and he's like, I got a message

for all them liberals out there. All them gun grabbing pussy liberals. You want my gun? You come take it. You come put your hands on me. You, you run your hands all over my arms and give me goosebumps. And then you, and then you give me a little spank,

not too hard, but kind of hard. So I know you there. And then you just look into my eyes real close. You come and you look into my eyes. You kiss me. You kiss me. If you want my guns,

he does a good job with it slowly you do a pretty good job with it too and gayer and gayer and gayer and gayer and gayer and gayer that's great speaking of bets uh tomorrow assuming biden takes power i win three hundred dollars i'll let you know how it goes the guy oh who did you bet with? I was like, did I make a $300 bet on this? Somebody from my Facebook feed. Didn't this guy do it after the election? Dude, we bet $100 like a week after the election. Holy shit.

But wait, like three weeks after the election, we tripled it. I was like why do you still think and even now I feel like he wishes he didn't make the bet no shit you feel like he wishes he hadn't made the bet it's inauguration day

let's make it 30,000 like you should have just held him to the I have a link so four weeks ago it's just as four weeks i don't know the date um oh december 22nd on december 22nd we tripled it i do love that confidence that not only is the first bet you make after the election the second one is what you said a month after. More, December 22nd. That's almost two months later.

People are in Christmas mode. This has been over for a while now. This is triple down. If I had someone willing to do something like that, I feel like I would have had to get a lawyer involved to make it some sort of binding agreement. It's $100 that the Tampa Bay Lightning won the Stanley Cup last year. I tried to make that bet. I tried to take it.

Ooh, let's triple down. You know, I think you might win. Don't Google it. We were arguing on Facebook, and they're like, the fact that you're still taking bets about this means that it's not concluded. It's not over. And I was like, no, I just like separating fools from their money. And I started listing other bets.

Like I'll bet Green Bay Packers win the previous weekend. And they didn't take that one. But yeah, $300, I should get it tomorrow. It's nice. You're not getting that money. We'll see. So far, they've all paid. I'll let you know.

Wow. Okay, at least honorably. Wow. Wow, that's absurd. It's absurd. that's great for you i started posting on facebook kind of with almost good intent like i kept seeing misinformation and bad facts not like debatable facts or difference of opinions but straight up like weird photoshops and you know just people who are making things up up about the liberal side.

So I would post kind of like counter posts, but everything had to pass a fact check. But I think of devolved over time. be like name called and just abused kind of i feel like you're like piled up on for months and not do a fucking victory lap when you win so how much was it before the 300 that you won from people it's oh oh you're talking about how much have i won you said other people not a lot yeah yeah so i've won a hundred dollar bet and then like a couple of fives. Oh, okay. Yeah. Nice little season for you there. Right?

I think your net betting winnings have probably septupled. Well, I did lose $100 to Kyle one time. That was a pretty big loss. That's a huge loss. That paid for OnlyFans for quite some time. Turned out that one person was a man, but hey, you can't win them all. You can't win them all. Yeah, you know.

You can't win if you don't take risks. I hope the Blues turn around this eight-game season series against Colorado. I'm just going to be... Really, we're going to be buying each other Zevias all season with these $5 payouts. Ah, yeah. Unless one of us really runs the table there's 30 available 25 for me because i'm

out five on this that was foolish of me to be like yeah let's start it right after uh colorado's really amped up to show what they can do after they got you know beat pretty bad in their season opener oh philly looking good yes Yes. Philly's looking good. I'm excited for them. I think they've overtaken Pittsburgh, like, for real this time. Okay. All right. I'm a little insulted that you suggested Pittsburgh was ever better than Philly.

That's true. You know, Pittsburgh, they're not even the one team in the modern era to win the Cup twice in a row. They didn't win three times in nine years. Fucking losers. No, three times in eight years. At least you're getting it now. Yeah, so it looks like

the game either just started or the first period just ended. Oh, are they playing tonight? Yeah, they had a bad loss against Buffalo, but that'll be the kind of loss that motivates them like that's not reminiscent of their team it's still too early to matter for for the most part but it's good how they're looking their goalie's good they've always

needed a goalie our goalie is looking fucking awful really just terrible how long has he been your goalie did he win the cup three years ago? Yeah, it's that same guy. And he can frankly suck ass for the rest of his career after stealing us that game seven and winning the cup. It's fine. It is. It's funny now that like now that we don't have the really awesome

stellar defense in front of him, it's like, oh, this guy is getting exposed a lot. But at the same time, now that we have offensive defenseman, finally like we're scoring more goals. So we're putting up like four or five a game now. And that's never been the way the Blues play. They would put up like three and then be like, all right, shut it down.

Just hit people until the game's over. Are the Blues still tough? Yeah, yeah, they are. I think they're the biggest team in the NHL as far as like average weight and height. I think that're the biggest team in the NHL as far as average weight and height. I think that's right. Pareko's like 6'6", 6'7", and that's pretty big for the NHL. We have a bunch of forwards that are like 6'3", 6'4".

I'm trying to think of bigger teams. Not even the Washington Capitals because they have Zdeno Chara, who's 6'10", and Ovi, who's 6'4". But other than that, they have a bunch of, I think, smaller, faster skill guys at like 5'10", maybe 6'1". I don't know. They probably haven't even updated it this year. This is one of those stats you tend to see like pre-postseason.

I could only find it for 19-20, which is last year, and you guys are fifth. And in height, you're further down maybe 10th ish i'm estimating oh okay well yeah that has changed we lost our six foot four defenseman and we gained a five foot nine one that's gonna hurt your averages there that's a little different but also it's about time that the blues got a little bit faster because it served us well against Boston to be really rough and tumble. But I don't know. It seems like other teams are trying to emulate that strategy of like,

because the blues just got to the Stanley cup finals and they just basically started playing nineties hockey again. Cause like it was illegal to play the way the blues did all the way up until the playoffs. Cause they'll call that. And then the post season starts and the blues are just like, Hey hey let's play it like the 90s and just like run people and hit people hard and it's like they swallow the whistle right it's well like in the game seven or like the series against the bruins and the sharks well the sharks are the second to last one it was

just a madhouse like it's just full-on punching and the refs were like just keep keep it kind of clean guys because it's like a thing like refs do not want to call penalties like in the game seven there were no penalties called there were a ton that could have been called like roughing usually roughing is like kyle you get a shot on goal and you kind of like get up in my goalie's face a little bit and i get i get too close to you and i throw my arm around you and i kind of throw you to the ground and kick you a little bit shove you around usually they'd be of throw you to the ground and kick you a little bit, shove you around. Usually they'd be like, that was entirely unnecessary.

We'll give you two minutes for roughing because you got him away from your goalie. We understood the throw. It was the poking and the kicking. We didn't give you two minutes for that. Like that happens constantly in game seven. And there was only one penalty called in that entire game seven. And there was only one penalty called in that entire game seven. And it was the only one that like refs can't ignore,

which is if a defenseman in their own zone accidentally shoots the puck out of their end into the stands, it's delay of game for two minutes. And also the stabbing, the stabbing, the stabbing. And that happened to us. I was nervous. I was watching playoff hockey and I forget the guy.

It was a while ago, but he was skating and he goes from center ice to the goal and it's the playoffs the defenseman catches him from behind and kind of like cross checks him on the back of the neck so now he's still skating but he's bent over and he just keeps hitting him on the back of the neck

repeatedly with his stick hitting him and hitting him and hitting him and they like show this is like a highlight I was watching and they're like welcome to the playoffs and it just yeah i know the exact click you're talking what you're talking about because like the smaller guy is like he has the speed and he gets hit once and he kind of slows down and again and he's just into the ground and it's honest it's like when tom is trying to escape from jerry and gets a baseball bat and Tom gets stunned, but he's still running. But by the end, it's just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang Aren't you ever worried that some of your speedy or more skillful players that you're fans of

are going to get destroyed? The Blues have a good way of handling that because we have enough big guys. So if anybody went after, like two years ago, and we won the Cup, if they went after Tarasenko or Schwartz, who's a skilled guy who's smaller, big rig Pat Maroon would go out there and fight someone yeah that's it well it's not

just about retribution right like what if they tear out sweet t's knee like like all the retribution in the world isn't gonna make that right that threat of retribution was the fix for it's like kyle you speedy highly skilled player your line mate is Evander Holyfield. Now everybody knows, don't touch Kyle. Because Evander is over here looking to solve problems. I'd love to see Evander Holyfield ice skate. He's probably not good at it. I would imagine he's never done it. Yeah, let me scroll down a little bit here.

We lucked out, the Blues did. Because most really big star players are, you have to click the link to scroll down and see they're smaller guys the all-stars teresanko is like six feet tall i think he's 220 and you can see a photo of him there he the only time he gets injured he hurts himself by trying to shoot too hard or like fucks up his like damaged shoulder he never gets hurt anywhere else he's a solid guy yeah i wonder how big the guy on the right is. I don't know.

That guy's probably 5'10". He looks small. Is he an athlete or is he just a fan? That's probably someone that's at a gym that Tarasenko's training. Or a trainer or something. He might be the guy that stretches Tarasenko. Maybe. That's definitely not one of his teammates.

Okay. Because he looks like the guy that sells hot dogs.. Maybe. That's definitely not one of his teammates. Okay. Because he looks like the guy that sells hot dogs. What does his shirt say? Is that a minor league team that you recognize maybe? Something rocket. It's not the Phantoms, is it? Phantom Rocket. Yeah. Phantoms Rockets. The Phantoms. What is Philly's

minor league team called? Are they the Phantoms? I have no idea. I don't know who Phantoms hockey is. Oh, they might be, yeah. They're the AHL team in Pennsylvania, so they're either. Yeah, they're with Philly because it's the Hershey Bears who are with Pittsburgh.

God, he's enormous. I'm seeing him standing amongst his team here with skates on. He's so much taller. That one guy barely comes up to his collarbone, including his helmet. Is he number 55? No, 55 is Pareko, who's 6'7". Okay, well, never mind. I was looking at that guy.

I think the guy we're looking at is on the far left in that picture, Kyle. Jesus Christ! 55 is an enormous person. why are we even talking about tarasenko when 55 exists and the way the blues got that guy his name is colton pareko he's one of the best defensemen in the league now he was playing hockey in alaska in college like studying to be an engineer i think he's like from the movie yeah and his in his first throughout his rookie year uh with playing with the Blues, he was great. And so they had him playing like 65, 70 games, which is a lot.

And they're like, so how'd you like your first year? And he's like, it was great. It was tough. I'm just happy I managed to have a good rookie season and finish my engineering degree in the same year. It was like, you don't need it. You don't need it. But basically, he was playing up in Alaska,

and the Blues knew about him and, like, took, like, care to not let any notes about this guy escape because no one was tracking him, and no one picked him in the draft up until, like, the second round late. And, you know, we jumped up and took him because we wanted him way before that. And he's been tremendous. Great.

Love this guy. And we need him after Petrangelo's gone. But anyway, that's enough hockey. In gaming news, I streamed Age of Mythology on Friday. Played some of that. Kyle, I know you're deep into Rust, but if you ever have an itch to play some Age of Mythology with me, let me know.

I'm always down. That is a lot of practicing that I would have to do. I'm having to relearn it all. He'd be letting his team down at this point. Kyle carries weight in Rust, right? Am I on target with that? Working on it. Yeah. of practicing that i would have to do i'm letting his team down at this point kyle's carry his weight and rust right my own target with that working on it yeah he's trying we're two days into the fresh wipe uh you know sunday wipe server so tonight is the is should be the night when we go and blow shit up having a good time is it still you you, Middy and two just beasts?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. There was a little bit of a drama in the, the other group. You know, there's a couple of groups of us that are playing on that server. And we're in different voice chats most of the time,

because it gets chaotic with two different teams in one chat. And, and dirty's team had a little kerfuffle the other day. So Dirty has gotten very good at Rust. He's put in like 300 hours in three weeks or something, like something absurd like that. And he spends hours practicing on the recoil training servers. He's gotten quite good, I'm told.

And in any case, he has surpassed i think his teammates and not only skill but also in like game sense and so every time he steps away something bad happens i think that's why he's got so many hours like the other day he went to like outback steakhouse and like everything melted down like they like lost the base and like, but like, like yesterday or the day before, uh, it's like the first day of wipe and they've been,

they've been grinding all day. Like everybody's been working hard for like eight hours solid. And dirty's girlfriend is like, Hey, we take the dog out. And he's like, all right. All right,

boys, I'm going to take the dog outside to piss i'll be right back he steps away for literally six minutes and in that time someone who will not be named ari uh leaves the door open he left the door open he left door in. And somebody goes deep on them and takes their whole base from them. Oh, no. Like, going deep is when you, like, just, you manage to get one door in. And then either through a series of accidents and encounters, you're able to go one door further. Like, they'll open a door to try to kill you, but you'll kill them and you'll get a door deeper.

That wasn't even required, apparently, because all the doors were open he just went deep straight to the back wall straight to the back walls and once he's there like he's able to pick up guns and break the tc and break bags and like he just took their base from them and so dirty comes back and they're like it's gone it's all gone he's like what do you mean it's all gone i've been gone for minutes i just stepped outside and the dog and it's gone it's all gone it's all gone so yeah they had a little bit of a meltdown over there there were a lot of harsh words spoken uh where were you sleeping on your posts no doubt i'm not on their fucking team. He's on a different team. Our accidents involve helicopter crashes and who's driving

the boat right or wrong. We haven't lost the base or anything. We haven't been raided yet, so it's gone pretty well. When you send clips into the chat of that, and I'm like, okay, I'm piecing this together. Alright, he hit piecing this together.

All right. He hit him with a rocket. That was pretty easy. Ham-handed. I get it. Good rocket shots. Must be hard to shoot because based on that video, it looked like he was going to miss. But then I realized I was seeing somebody else's third-person perspective, not his, like, ADS. You have to hit the right pixel almost to, like, damage three panels oftentimes.

Yeah. Well, no. There's a lot of splash damage near the boat taylor was talking about like when the when they were flying in the helicopter shooting rockets at the guys in the boat yeah rockets are really powerful in the game um but yeah when you're like raiding you try to hit like in a seam so that you're splashing multiple surfaces so you're you know you're getting times the, the pop for your one rocket. But yeah, it's,

uh, it's been fun. Uh, I, I, I saw that like, you know, they had that big,

it's, it's actually kind of huge. The, uh, the Twitch streamer rust, uh, um, server,

you know, that, that they had and they had, uh, all sorts of controversy over there because what they did is they invited like lots of twitch streamers from other games like gta streamers and and uh stuff like that to play rust and they made two servers one was a role play server which is where you can go in and just be silly and nobody's fighting and then they made a pvp server and so all the rust guys jump in the pvp server like especially the ones who like want to play rust and uh and like that that's when pastille and all those guys

got kicked out of the server for for pvp on the pvp server yeah yeah uh if if you care enough about the drama uh sir winter who's one of my favorite Russ YouTubers, he has been for a long time. It's S-E-R, then space, Winter. He's an Aussie. He has like a two-hour video explaining the whole drama because he has to present evidence for himself because all of these big Twitch streamers are like sending their hordes over to like hate on him and stuff. And he's like, look, they're just lying. Here's all the video proof. Every single incident that they're like having an issue with.

Here's how it actually went. And he's got like two hours of evidence in this YouTube video where he's like, he's it's, it's pretty good. Like the other people in that. I found the video. It's one hour and 56 minutes i mean jesus what really

happened on the otv pvp server i'll take your word for it dude i'm not watching that like i watched about 35 minutes of it and i got i was like yeah you're right because i'd seen enough um but like one of those twitch chambers was they were being so toxic and shitty to him like and it's definitely because he was like a smaller twitch streamer or like he's a youtube streamer that's not nice oh no he does stream on twitch in any case um like the one guys is just like enjoy those those bullshit crumbs you're getting on youtube donations you you like you know they're calling him a papaga yeah they're like they're literally like making fun of the amount of money he makes because they're bigger bigger streamers yeah and the guy i'm talking about is sir winter sir winter what's a papaga i see that all the

time i'm just not it's a it's a retard oh all right apparently anton's a papaga one of my favorite streamers is a papaga okay in any case um on the otv pvp server 275 000 views good i'm glad for that then uh but but yeah just the whole thing is non it's really good for the game that that's all i care about is that they're bringing so much attention to the game and bringing new players to the game but it's at the same time it is a little frustrating you know the way they're playing the game i guess i don't it's not the way they're playing the game because if they're in a role-playing server that makes a lot of sense and look i kind of like the role-playing stuff too to some extent like one of the guys like we've made bases where we just grew a lot of hemp before, you know,

you use hemp to make cloth in the game. And like, we've done silly stuff. Like, like we'll take a break from being super hardcore about the game and just be silly for sometimes I get that. But like, I would never play in a server that was nothing but role play, but to each their own, the real issue is that they had like a PVP server that they didn't want PvP in, and they keep interjecting with all these rules, and they're like, oh, well, PvP's okay,

but try to keep it in the north side of the map. And it's like, well, all right. So he draws a line across the map, and he stays above the line. Well, yeah, but maybe you could say something before you just attack someone. And he's like, what am I supposed to say? Prepare to die.

He's okay. But you can only win if you have more concurrent viewers. That's what it came down to. That's what it came down to. And, uh, and because he's so good at the game, like it's not that he's like amazing on the keyboard and mouse necessarily. It's just because he's got thousands of hours in the game he knows how the game works he knows little mind tricks you can play and like how to play the game like there's this one funny clip where the guy's riding

along on a horse and he's like hey hey would you like some things and like throw some trash on the ground and the guy hops off his horse to like pick up the trash well he just hops right right on the guy's horse and like like rides it away and and it shows it from that guy's point of view and he's like wait what the fuck you stole my horse like he's just doing that constantly like that's funny one of the girl streamers she's just like trying to walk in complete pitch black darkness and you hear like boom and he goes you were killed by sir winter and she's like what the fuck what happened i couldn't see anything like all of them kind of had the same experience we're like you know he

knows how to play the game that you have elected to play on a pvp server and you're mad because he's pvp and he wasn't even being like you can be super shitty in this game. Like you can ruin people's fun if you want to. We do it sometimes. Like if we, if we decide we don't like someone, you can really ruin somebody's fun. You can, I could build a base outside your base that means nothing to me and just sit in it all day and just snipe at you every time you come out of your door. It wouldn't cost me anything like, like to do that and literally ruin your fun. Make you have to come blow my base up with a lot of your uh explosives he wasn't doing anything like that he wasn't

door camping him he wasn't like targeting anyone he was just playing the game but yeah uh i am glad that it's it's pretty interesting like i didn't need to see it all to get the gist of of what was going on like like the first 30 minutes kind of clued me in and showed me how like toxic and shitty those people were. And like, uh, and also that like, I don't know because he was a small,

he's like an OG rust guy, but he was kind of being treated like a second class citizen, which is a shame to see. I, I really don't like that. Right? Like, I don't know.

You shouldn't flex your sub count as a way to get special treatment. I like it when people decline that kind of special treatment. Agreed. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Some shitty people on there. In any case, the game's definitely growing. I saw the devs made a couple million dollars that first week of all that.

And I'm sure some of that's getting funneled back into to development uh so you know games getting game gets better every week that's one of the cool things about the game is like every month there's a big up every week there's an update but every month there's a big update with new content rust has had a long life cycle for a game you know like I want to say rust i first heard about rust when i first got first owned a minecraft server and uh that's a long time was that six years ago seven years ago most games don't have a life that long yeah i i first learned about it maybe five years ago like 2016 i guess um and uh it's it's one of those games that sort of came out and like,

while still in development and they promised that they're going to like every week we're going to get better, but they did it. You know, they didn't pull like a, I've been told Daisy is good now, but they ran out of time for me. Still the classic example of that.

Yeah. They ran out of time for me. It's still, and uh, what's that game where you're like exploring the stars or whatever and they're supposed to be like a million worlds and they're all different no man's sky same thing like like you lost me it took you too long but with rust every week you know something new like like it seems like maybe a year and a half two years ago they they came up with the helicopters. That was game-changing.

They're so fucking cool to be able to, like, lightning fast fly around the map, and then electricity came in about a year ago. Huge game-changer, like having electrical lights and stuff and all the crazy stuff people can do with that. And then horses came in, like, maybe nine months ago or something like that, and it seemed like a small thing at first, but it was a big addition.

Tarkov is doing something that's not awesome. So you and I bought the $140 version of the game. And one of the cool parts about that is you're kind of, it should be the last thing you have to buy. If you buy that, everything that comes out, all the DLC in the future, you're entitled to that. Well, there was going to be an arena mode, which I guess will be a little like Call of Duty,

but with Tarkov mechanics and such. Okay. And that's not going to be included in our copy. And it's like, well, no, you said we get all the future stuff. That was like part of the deal. And they're like, well, yeah, but this is a different game on the same engine with the same thing. And, and I think if you do well in arena mode,

your other character like gets XP and it kind of crosses over. Yeah. That's bullshit. They've, they're adding zombies mode to their call of duty game and, and, and they're claiming it's a whole new game and it costs extra. Yeah.

That's bullshit. Yeah. So this is all rumored, but it, I, that based on the rumors i agree with you and for anyone who's too stupid to follow what i just said both of you um i i realized that they're not adding zombies i'm comparing it to zombies yeah they're adding a another game mode to the game and acting like it's a standalone and

so uh so yeah taylor you want to talk about fitness talk how have you been i've been good i've been good on i mean i'm always way better on fitness than i am on diet like but i've been good on diet recently it was a buddy of mine's 30th on saturday and so i definitely went over my calories there. Other than that, I've been pretty good. It's another friend of mine's 30th birthday party this Saturday. Because, you know, I'm at the age where everybody's turning 30. And so I'll have to...

Roughly 30? Roughly 30. I got to try and resist the burger and brat and hot dog and beer temptation. He just won't have a good birthday party if you don't have a couple of cheese dogs. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm selfish.

I'm eating magnanimously. Yeah. Look at how much fun he's having. He's double fisting. I don't do like this, you asshole. This is for you. He's holding two beers and two brats. I'm down 14 pounds

now here's the deal I weigh in every day and usually I just leave on my t-shirt and underwear and my watch which seems like nothing but it must be.1 pound or something like that it's like a thick thing so I weigh in this morning and I'm 208 now

208.0 and I'm like I could be down 15 pounds. I could take off this t-shirt, underwear, and watch. And I will definitely go down from.0 to something else. And I ignore the decimals. I ignore the decimals on the starting weight. So I ignore the decimals on current weight.

But I didn't want the pressure. I didn't want to go up tomorrow. So we'll see. We'll get it more secured in the 207. Good for you. But I'm roughly down 15 pounds so far i'm never missing any workouts i all i do is work out and think about working out that's been my life lately i'm just working out watching youtube videos about working out

on my off days i go into the gym and like you know this place needs better lighting uh i bought this new ceiling fan for it a while ago got that installed new flooring i like your new flooring looks good yeah that looks really good i'm the same way like i'm like pretty much all the entertainment content i'm consuming like usually i'll have like old tv shows playing while i'm working out like i'm like finding fitness or nutrition people on joe rogan or something or listening some guy named like pavel satsulin or something who's like oh is he the kettlebell guy he's the kettlebell guy but more like just like general fitness and and health like wellness guy not uh not like diet guy at all but he had some really interesting stuff i listened to him dr ronda patrick she's not like fitness she's like what you should be eating and like the the nutrition macros and micros and butter or not

butter nutrition's rough because you can just keep shopping for experts until you find what you want to hear you know i i was i uh i guess it's hard by another time i was talking about dan loomis i went to lunch with him today he was pka dan you guys might remember him and uh he went through this stage where he's like you know i was making butter coffee it's like coffee with butter in it and something else and there are people who think that like this is a good idea uh he's thin now but he had man tits at one point that butter coffee is so goddamn gross i remember a friend of mine just was like, when did that get huge?

Like five years ago? It was like right when this MCT oil, remember that? Where it's like you want to put the MCT, I think Rogan was a big proponent of this because he was a Rogan listener. And he was like, you put the MCT oil in your coffee and you stir it up

and then you get your ghee butter and bada bing, bada boom, you got a 300 calorie cup of coffee to start your day. start. Yeah, probably even like 350 calories. And like you stir it in. I had one cup ever. We were like trying it and he was like, ah, ah. And like, first of all, you have to stir it nonstop. It will just become an oil slick. And it was always somewhat of an oil slick because you're trying to mix oil into your coffee. You stir really fast and it looks like a really shiny luminescent oil slick and then you take a

sip immediately it feels like you're half a tube of chapstick in on your lips like your lips are shiny full looks like lip gloss i like i like that part of it it just it tasted weird none of that stuff should be in a coffee i would a million times prefer just a normal tasting black coffee and i didn't feel more energized i didn't feel that it was beneficial for me it was like dude like a half cup of brown rice and a regular coffee would have given me more fuel and it wouldn't have been you know isn't that part of the whole keto diet though don't you need to like that i don't think i don't think that your first cup is supposed to do anything you've got to get your uh your body trained to like

be burning fats for energy right oh yeah i just mean like it didn't feel any different that first time to just a normal level of energy from a cup of coffee if anything i felt sluggish because it was drinking a big thick thick, fatty drink. I've basically just been eating healthy. I eat chicken. I eat a baked potato. I've removed all butter from my diet. I would have my normal chicken or pork, baked potato, and mixed vegetables. That's what I eat all the time.

And then I put a pat of butter on the veggies and then on each side of the baked potato. And I start counting my calories and I'm like, whoa. veggies, and then on each side of the baked potato. And I start counting my calories, and I'm like, whoa. Like, this meal is 650, 700 calories, and then the butter is 300 more. And I'm like, you're not cutting it on the cost-benefit. You know, if I'm trying to lose weight, I can cut the butter off the veggies and the potato, and suddenly it's like a much lower caloric meal. So I've been doing that kind of thing. I try to find find satiating foods that's what the potato is really mostly about

and uh and it's been working so i've been eating a bunch of sweet potatoes like oh yeah people i eat that what do you ices them up and roast some potato with skin is my thing i was up late last night addicted to zwift videos have you heard of this zwift no okay so it's spelled like swift with a z and uh these guys it's basically a indoor bicycle but it's connected over the internet and they race each other and like i'm watching oh you have to see how exhausted it is. These people give their all. And I feel like I,

it's a great idea to give your all in a cycling race is so much. Oh, they're exhausted. They can't breathe anymore. They can't talk. They're like, like that. Just like like, like that. It's like breathe coughing.

And there are like experts in it who are coaching the players on how to do their best. And they don't win all the time, by the way. These guys are great, but they still lose. But they'll finish like top 10 out of 120 or maybe top five or sometimes they win. And just the amount of effort they put in it makes me want one it makes me well you know it's pretty expensive it's like three grand to buy this bike and 15 bucks a month but i'm like you know i i can have that i could they're in stock in two weeks let's see if you still want it in two weeks.

Lock and change. Actually, they're in stock right now over here. So I'm trying to cool my jets a little bit. You got to hook like a half horsepower electric motor to yours. You're on the show wearing eight gold medals. Yeah, big deal on Zwift. World champion. I saw a guy lose to a cheater.

So this guy. He doesn't sweat. The guy we're watching, the guy that I'm watching is the British champion. He turned out to be the British champion that year. He wasn't at the time. And he's very good. And you should see him. He's built like a Tour de France winner.

You enter your height and your weight and everything. And the game uses that to impact your guy's performance. And this champion put out like 350 watts a minute or a second, whatever it was, average over the course of the race. And that's a very impressive number. You know, regular people are doing 200. He's did 350, and he lost to a guy who put out 570. And he's like, yeah, that's no. That guy either cheated or had an electronic bike or something

where he was able to add. Tom Coolery, yeah. But it's pretty neat, and the level of cardio these guys get, I, they call it the Zwift effect. You know, there are a group rides where you just sort of go and hang out and enjoy the scenery.

There's like underwater aquariums. You ride your bike through and shit like that. And they always turn into a race. It's called the Zwift effect. So, uh, anyway, Zwift calls it the Zwift effect.

We're calling it the Zwift effect. It's uh, anyway, Zwift calls it the Zwift effect. We're calling it the Zwift effect. It's this YouTuber. Who are we? We are the owners of Zwift. Just two riders go next to each other. Like I'm Alan Richardson, creator of Zwift and people across the country are calling it the Zwift effect. They are marketing and PR room.

The Zwift effect is anytime two riders see each other, it becomes a race. That's what happens. It's pretty funny. The videos are so... I was watching Twitch streams of it last night, like regular people. And I was like,

I should stream this on Twitch. It'll be the next big thing. It won't be. It's the opposite of what I'm good at. People don't watch me for the gameplay and that becomes triple true when I'm riding a bicycle. You're like huffing and puffing? Yes.

Thanks to Big Al for... You charge back, Al? Come on, I'm kidding myself here. Imagine how great Taylor's streams would be if he couldn't talk, and now you have my vision. Yeah. I mean, I did a bike riding stream once. Did you?

For two hours, I rode a bike and just watched the Wings of Redemption documentary for two hours. And all I did was unmute to be like, oh, thanks for the sub. And I just got sweaty. And people just like called me fat and were encouraging. A nice mix of insults and encouragement. And honestly, there's no way if I would have been watching The Simpsons in my basement that I would have kept going on that bike for two hours. But there was like part of it that I was like, I have to make it through this two hour documentary and not stop biking or I'll get made fun of. But I got off and I it's probably the most calories I've burned in one sitting in the last year, including workouts, because I lifted earlier that day, too.

And and then did that. It was it was insane how exhausted i was slept like a rock that night i should do that more not on stream necessarily because that would get stale quickly i would imagine okay we're gonna watch the very end of this woman's race so i'm um it's an hour long video, but we'll watch like the last minute of it. This works. I think she's cooling off. I think I've gone. I hope you guys find this as compelling as I do. I really want to watch this.

You're going to get an idea for how hard people work in this game. The last. Okay. You see it's timestamped. Yep, I'm watching. Alright, are you guys ready? Yep. Ready, set, play. Thanks, Gus.

Okay, sit on the wheel. Oh, I hope this lands. So we can gain a big gear, okay? So she has a coach telling her, like, you know, alright, this is about to happen, this is about to happen. She has already, like,

missed her goal a handful of times. She fell off the front group, you know, they're like, you gotta keep up with this person. If you ride your bike behind someone, you draft off them. And the effort is much lower to stay behind them. Once you fall off, then they make you pedal much harder. Is she steering? There's no hitting. No, I don't think there's hitting or steering.

Go on, Sonja! Not that you can hear me in Sweden. Get it back. Pedal harder. I'd be a great biking coach. Faster! Faster! He's really taking the brunt of this scene. I'm like... She's pooped. I wanna see her... I hope she hammers down like I expect her to.

She gonna vomit? I wish this guy would get his moose knuckle out of the fucking camera. Go go go go go go go go! Go on, man! He gets his moose knuckle out. Go on, go on, go on, man! That guy LO, go, go, go. Go on, man. Come on, come on, come on, come on. That guy loves wearing that singlet. 200, 200, man.

Come on, come on. 200, what? Oh, meter blood. Go on, man. Come on, come on, come on. The other guy just blow past her. Oh, that's hilarious. He goes past.

So normally the finish is in a group And there's a sprint and there's like 12 people And it really matters Damn I will not be purchasing She is dying And they try to like get her opinion And she can't talk

Can't breathe, can't do anything This is her first race 205 watts She tied with yeah it's weird that she tied yeah that doesn't make any sense there's a three-way tie for uh for 11 12 and 13. but she's second from the bottom right am i right about that no she's Sonia oh I must yeah he was saying Sonia so I'm just picking Sonia out of the I just I picked the one because it's orange I don't know yeah I see that so it's confusing to me her heart rate if the heart rate was 190.

She's like... Cheers to everyone that watched and had to listen to me. Fuck that, man. That's not healthy. Dude, she's... Look at her. Look at all the people watching you. Bye. See you later, guys.

Why are they all wearing their bicycle pants and singlets and bullshit i i don't know this game serious the guy on the left was actually the british champ i mentioned i didn't recognize him but i did okay um yeah they you have to just watch how these people kill themselves greg doucette does it you You know Greg Doucette, right? We talk about his parrot race. Very well. Yeah, yeah. He's got the...

Does he use the Zwift thing? He uses the Zwift and his brother does. His brother's very good at cycling. He was on the Canadian national team back in the day. And the way Greg tells it, if it's an hour long race, his brother wins every time. If it's a 10 second race, Greg wins every time. He's a 10 second race greg wins every time he's a bodybuilder he's very strong but when they do like a five minute race you know anything could happen and you have to see how hard people try at this game and i used to be in cycling when i was younger

and you know we did these centuries and had 140 mile bicycle day and um so yeah we wrote our read it brag have you ever heard of brag maybe bike ride across georgia i've done that a couple of times no i don't swim in those circles yeah you go from the uh top left corner to the bottom right one they smoke a lot of dope and uh watch watch probably some more do oh yeah but uh i can get anything where like marijuana is a key component of it uh anyway yes i used to be into this and i'm watching zwift and it's bringing back all this interest in me and i'm just trying to cool my jets a little bit see if it's really if i'm into it for more than one night it's expensive but yeah it is um you you have that back ridingiding background, though. My question would be if you had the room for it.

Well, so it would be behind me probably because it's part of your computer. You want a gaming computer. People play it in 4K and you need a good internet connection. Could you play it in VR? I didn't think of that. I don't know. It would be sweaty. You could just find it around your actual neighborhood in a headset.

This is even better than 4K. It's like real leaves. Yeah. You want the best graphics ever? Try a Huffy. That looks just like my neighbor's aggressive dog. Oh, it is! But yeah, anyway, so this has caught my eye.

I am basically living the lifestyle of a professional athlete without the games talent or youth or the pay or pay yeah yeah but in terms of enthusiasm I'm right there I'm right there the groupies

okay there's a handful of missing elements the fans you're just working out but like all I do is like work out and like listen to trainers who don't know I'm watching but whatever you know like it it's in you know today was

push day I like push day so yeah tomorrow I got some cardio so fuck that how often you doing cardio I'm starting off just twice a week. I'm adding it to my legs and core day, just like 45 minutes an hour on the elliptical afterward. Yeah, elliptical.

So you've got a couple of things, right? You have an elliptical. Do you have an airdyne? I know you have a bike of some sort. I have that magnetic bike I got for the fitness contest like a year and a half ago. And then I've got over two years ago, actually. And then I've got a treadmill and an elliptical that's all the cardio stuff i have cool cool and i prefer the elliptical the treadmill a lot it's just easier yeah it's way easier my

my friend who's a runner would tell you you're not built for running he would tell me i'm not built for running that's true i lumber i'm when I run it looks like I'm mad at the ground stopping holes in the ground yeah the elliptical is a lot safer for your knees yeah yeah it is you guys gonna call it a show yeah all right yeah to PKN 335