Painkiller Already - PKN 340

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

pkn 340 kyle i have a topic written down you mentioned it a while ago and i didn't know where it was headed you said you had sopranos news what oh yeah the uh the many saints of newark are you familiar with this i've never heard many no okay the many saints of newark is the sopranos movie which was scheduled to come out last fall, but has been delayed because of COVID several times. I don't know the newest update, but this will be a Sopranos prequel that will showcase the younger formative years of Tony Soprano, specifically focusing on the race riots in Jersey, I guess in the 70s. And Tony Soprano will be played by James Gandolfini's son, who looks very much like him. And apparently he had never seen The Sopranos before.

His son probably wasn't allowed to watch it. His son was A, not allowed to watch it, and B, his father had died, so he didn't really want to watch his dad. But he watched all six, I think it's six seasons, seven seasons, I think, all seven seasons in like six weeks recently. And he's been listening to Tony Soprano on audio doing the voice for weeks and weeks uh to the point where apparently he's got the accent nailed sounds like fun and uh the mannerisms and everything and the more you look at him the more that like you see james gandolfini in his face and they've even done that little thing to one of his front teeth sort of turned it sideways to give him that tooth. And that was already enough for me.

Can I pause you there? Yeah. How did they, via CGI, make up? Or did they fucking hit him? Like, what? I think it's... What's that, Michael? I don't think it's CGI, because I've seen photos of him

wearing the wig and everything because he's got long hair um and prosthetic maybe maybe a prosthetic or i know like um jim carrey for example is missing a tooth like he he has a cap so for dumb and dumber that he was just like yeah just he went to the dentist he's like take that back out and so like so now he's just literally missing one of his front teeth for the lloyd character in dumb and dumber uh and uh so i was already on board because all that sounds good you know his son does look just like him he doesn't have any acting experience is he gonna his son's like 21 so you know he's gonna be rough and tumble getting into the mafia. Not exactly. Not like kid.

No, this is this is like Tony's formative like mob years, like when he's like just breaking into the mob and being tutored by his longtime mentor, Dickie Moltisanti, who is Christopher Moltisanti's father. You know, that's the reason I've mentioned before that he and Christopher are so close. It's because Dickie, Christopher's father, was Tony's mentor. He will be played by John Bernthal, who is the guy who played the Punisher in the Netflix TV series. He was also in the first season of The Walking Dead. He was Rick's cop partner who was messing around and fucking Rick's wife.

Really good actor. I've seen cast photos of him in his 70s gear. He looks good. So yeah, I'm definitely on board. I almost wish it were a TV series. I'm just not as hyped

for movies anymore. Yeah, they're not deep enough on board. I almost wish it were a TV series. I'm just not as hyped for movies anymore. Yeah, they're not deep enough on it. They just don't have enough time. It's one of the reasons that I do like the Marvel stuff. It's not just because of my childhood love of comics and cartoons and those

characters. It's also that I know that if I start getting invested in a Guardians of the Galaxy movie, that it'll get fleshed out more and more and more. There's going to be three and then, oh yeah, but this movie will be a Thor movie, but it's really a Thor Guardians of the Galaxy movie. They're all together the whole time. It's like, yeah, everybody kind of gets four, five, six movies to kind of fill out who they are in the Marvel universe. Whereas I don't know,

I, this is, this will be it. You know, I doubt they're making a sequel to this movie, but because it has taken so fucking long to make COVID has fucked up so many things. Uh,

when I go to like, I used to be able to go to like the Amazon tab, like Amazon videos and you know, new releases and I'm like releases and oh yeah that just came out great great great you go there now and they're like yeah dude i i think that hollywood got extra fucked up not because of the nature of the work although there's a hint of that you know you can't wear masks and stuff i think it's because they're woke. I think like just it's a everyone working there is kind of L.A. woke Democrat.

And, you know, like like the oil industry didn't get fucked up from COVID. And I bet they don't wear masks, but they're just not woke in the same way. So, well, all right. So you need that. They weren't allowed to work. In many cases. They weren't allowed to work. In many cases, they weren't allowed to work. They would get shut down. Because of the actors' union.

And if one person got it, that's where that... I don't know, did you hear the most recent rant from Tom Cruise? Yes. I was on his side a thousand percent. So Tom Cruise makes the Mission Impossible movies.

And for anyone who hasn't been paying attention for the last 15 fucking years, they are the best action movies in the world. I used to think, oh, he's making another one. But no. Each one is not only better than the last one. You

walk away and you're like, God damn, that was just a good movie. That wasn't some schlocky action film. I didn't expect this resounding praise on the Mission Impossible. They're the best action movies that are made. I've only watched the first one, and I've never seen the other ones. I should give them a go there.

It's either the second one or the third one. What's the one where he's in the helicopter trying to save some lady and was like, you've had a brain chip put in your brain and then like her eyes just like and she dies like a south park character they just go um so i'm bad at the names of them but they're i think it was the last one it had uh henry cavill in it um simon pegg is in a lot of them now he's been in like two or three he's a good actor is he no good good actor? No, a good guy. He's like the tech nerd guy that

works with Tom Cruise. Of course he is. And Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts. And we're live tracking He doesn't have a stunt man. So he does crazy shit. And that's kind of the draw to each Mission Impossible now. He's so small and light. He's like a cat. Like his terminal

velocity never gets that dangerous. Can we listen to Tom Cruise rant? I think that's... Yeah and light. He's like a cat. His terminal velocity never gets that dangerous. Can we listen to Tom Cruise rant? I think that's... Yeah, we could listen to it. What is it from? This is from last fall. Oh, this is a while ago. Well, fall's not too long ago, right? It's February. I think it's from

December. I hope I time-stamped this well. I was kind of going by the video, but it should be about right. You guys ready at 23 seconds? Ready, set, play. Filming in London, according to the UK paper, The Sun, the outburst happened after two crew members

were seen standing less than three feet apart at a computer screen. So I can't pre-screen this without stepping on your audio. It's okay. Here we go. Ever. I see it again. Ever. And if you don't do it, you're fired.

And if I see you do it again, you're f***ing gone. Cruz goes on to say that a lap... Okay, pause it. Okay, that's it. I did a shitty job of finding a video. That's a video. So he goes on like that for like two minutes. And at one point point he's like,

he's like, he's like, this is that this is hundreds of people's jobs. Do you understand? He goes further. He's like, this is the entire industry. They are what Hollywood is watching us to see if we can film a movie right now.

That's the pressure I have on my shoulders. That's like 90% right. Were they filming the biggest movie concurrent to when all this... I can't say if Mission Impossible is the biggest, but it's certainly... They're quarter billion. It's huge. Movies now have kind of scaled back. You don't see as many 400 million dollar movies anymore

and mission impossible movies are like 200 220 million dollar movies they're they're some of the biggest movies that are that are made now and they're successful and he's on to something when he says look hollywood's watching us to see if this thing's a success or not and you dick shits with no mask on are risking all of this if you keep breaking our safety violations you're fired on the spot but he says it meaner than i just did yeah and uh he actually apologizes when he says it though like like i was so on his he's like i'm sorry but that's the way it is you know and and like one thing to keep in mind tom cruise isn't just saying this as like tom cruise he's the producer of these yeah he is it's a tom cruise production he is the tom cruise yeah he absolutely is the guy who can say you're fired he's fired he's not going to go to like

some higher up and be like i want that guy fired he's gonna be like you're fired you're talking higher up you're not noticed that not only do i sign the checks tom cruise but they say tom cruise on the top it's like when trump sends you fucking stimulus it's got his name and picture on it do you think all like a-list actors have the power to just be like like for just a whim like emotionally be like yeah that person fired you're out of here i think a lot of them do i was listening to um robert downey jr on the joe rogan show this is from like a year ago and uh he was talking about making changes to avengers and he's like you know at first you're like i'm not happy with this i'm

not he's but then eventually you just sort of get in line and you have some faith and trust that these guys have everyone's best interest in mind and changes to make to the Avengers are hard. There's a lot of moving pieces and I'm just painting all this. Like imagine he wants to change a line. There could be some CGI work. Who's already done shit. You know, like there,

there's a lot of things that need to fit together. It's going to, yeah. To build that movie. shit you know like there there's a lot of things that need to fit together cartoon it's gonna yeah to build that movie so it would be helpful if you didn't improv fucking everything you did yeah changing one thing can get expensive when when they were making gremlins uh steven spielberg came in like right when they're ready to go and everything's built and made. And I don't know if how well you remember gremlins, but the little, uh, the,

the, the main got little, little, they're called, they call Eloise or it's not whatever the furry cute fucking thing is that become that makes the gremlins. What's what's Magui. Yeah.

Like he's like, he's like, no, I don't like how it looks. Make it look just like my fucking dog. Make it look like my pocket rat of a fucking dog I've got, all brown with a white chest and shit. Do that.

And they're like, we've already got it made. It's white. Nah, nah. Make it look like Scotty. Just like this. You got it? Good. And they're like, all right, everybody, we're staying all night.

We got to. Did anyone take a picture of his fucking dog? Good. And they're like, alright everybody, we're staying all night. We gotta... Did anyone take a picture of his fucking dog? Fuck! The internet's not around yet. Get after him! There was no internet. This is like 19... I know, that's what I'm saying. That's what he said to you.

Get your Polaroid and chase Mr. Spielberg. We gotta turn a profit on that. We're gonna call him Furbies, right? Get them off our hands. Yeah, I think especially if you're not on like an event, The Avengers is like a special case kind of thing,

because so gigantic, billion billion dollar franchise, but if you're making like, I don't know, some movie where like it's two stars, it's some sort of like Brad Pitt, Angelina jolie movie or whatever this movie you just talked about right like that's not as nobody as avengers yeah i don't know that's i was yeah i think if john bernthal is like that fucking muffin man farted in my trailer

i want him gone he brought he he brought me the yeah he brought the yeah they're good muffins he farted in my trailer i want him gone he's fired i think like there is a limit there like obviously brad pitt i feel like he could walk on the set and just be like this person brought me shitty coffee i'm fucking brad pitt he's out of here never another job but like if the guy the fat matt damon guy there's no way he can throw somebody off set, right? Unless, or like, is it a gradient where it's like, oh, he's the big star of this Fargo episode. We got to deal with his nuts.

Or maybe he can throw off the muffin guy, but he can't throw off Billy Bob Thornton. Well, Billy Bob, or even like a lesser actor or something like that. A dancer, you know, someone who is like a little more or something like that. A dancer. You know, someone who is like a little more skilled than the muffin dude. Well, first he demanded that the entire craft services area be replaced by blooming onions. And we did it.

But he's getting even fatter. I've been shitting all day. He was actually right about that one. You know what my blooming onions will do to a man? Why did you keep eating them? Don't you question me. They were there. Yeah, I think if you're one of those super A-list celebrities,

actors on a film, you're the main guy, especially if you're the only main guy in that production. They can kind of get whatever they want. Because you hear about some of the hoops and hurdles that get jumped through for um for those guys already with like um stallone on the on the on uh demolition man so stallone had this request where like he has to have a driving range built on set so that he can hit balls whenever he wants and uh and they were just like the fuck i mean it's all right i had a couple million to the budget for mr stallone's driving

range i guess he likes to hit balls like so he wanted a real driving range like hitting it into the grass not even just a net i think he wanted a driving range so between takes he could just like walk right over there and hit balls and i know schwarzenegger is big on having like a full gym there like not just like a regular human being's full gym like he wants his full gym there so he would travel around and like on the set of uh predator i know he like brought down a $300,000 gym and had it installed in their hotel or something like that. Well, that's excessive, but it makes sense.

He's got to have a pump. He's got to look huge. I've been looking for it while you're talking. The Rock has a traveling gym, and his traveling gym is basically a commercial gym they put it in a semi-truck it's all it of course it's squat racks and barbells and a full set of dumbbells but it's a bunch of selectorized machine i mean it it is a commercial gym and they bring it on set so that he can work out right there but it didn't strike me as a an extraant. You know, I want M&Ms with only greens.

It's like I am a product and we have to buff and shine the product daily or it gets rusty. Yeah. Yeah. I got a problem with that one. It's moreover like when they treat other people badly. I have a story. I don't know if it's true. I'm sorry.

Did you interrupt? I was going to say, which is why people like Edward Norton are hated and people like The Rock are understood. I did that dance thing. You guys remember it paid the house off. I had a... What is it called?

Someone who drives you around, takes care of your needs. Personal assistant? They might call him a runner there's a hollywood term for someone yeah so anyway this person was there just to make sure that my needs were met and uh that's what they did they picked me up in the morning uh i had a stomach ache on the set so you know he runs was it a black person it wasn't no mine was black so uh you know then he's the guy runs off to the drugstore well it wasn't but i got that i don't talk about poop stuff very much like that's

never been my thing so i'm like i've got an upset stomach they're like we don't know what variety of upset stomach you have so they just came back with like everything to treat any stomach condition. It sounds my tummy gurgles when I'm really horny. Anyway, so the guy was talking to me and he said that he was at a table and the star was like, they were just sort of joking back and forth or whatever. And then like he interjected his little funny line and the it just pauses the conversation stops the star looks at him and he's like why are you talking and he laughed it off like maybe he thought the star was pretending to be a total asshole he thought he was like you know being a caricature of the worst person in Hollywood.

And so he kind of laughed. He's like, no, I'm fucking serious. What makes you think that you're allowed to talk to us? And he's like, you are serious. And the guy's like, fucking dead serious. And it was Ben Affleck who apparently was that guy rumor confirmed

on the bonus podcast I can't believe Ben Affleck verifiably did that yeah those stories get around like now that you mention it my slave told me a similar story I can't remember who it was about anymore

I'm sure I told this story on the show. So it exists somewhere in the, in the records of PKA. But I remember specifically him talking about some celebrity who was a douchebag. It may have had something to do with apple slices, like, like that sort of ringing a bell.

Like, like I think he wanted apple slices or the apple slices had to be yeah they had to be special like at first they were non-organic apple slices and that was like cyanide or something I remember something like that but he was a real cool guy he took me to In-N-Out for the first time

he's like you've been to In-N-Out let's go to In-N-Out I think you confused me when I said what an asshole he didn't even bother to ask the star what kind of apples he wanted he made that decision on behalf of the talent that's granny smith's i bring me sour apples you dumb bitch you talked you talked about how stories get around so i was listening to this podcast this isn't my story i think it might have been nikki glazer and tom segura whatever their names are if it wasn't them it was comedians of a similar stature right not uh I don't know who's on top of the world not

Bill Burr but not someone you haven't heard of yeah they were talking about how they hate being comped dinners they're like it's the worst you go and what I didn't know this, but I guess the protocol is the restaurant says, Hey, Kyle, your dinner is on us. It's free tonight. And what they know is, oh, so I have to pay twice as much for this dinner in the form of a tip to the staff or else everyone talks shit about me for the rest of my life. So you order $100 worth of food, now they have to pay, instead of like 100 and a 20% tip or something,

they have to pay 200 as tip. So it's not the gift it seems. Well, they shouldn't do that. Just pay for what it would be in the tip. Apparently there's a protocol and people will talk shit about you. Oh. Well, they can fucking get over it. they're being offered too many free meals oh

oh my god how embarrassing how difficult how do you get through it they doubled the price on them though effect not really though this is a self-imposed burden it's a so societally opposed burden i'm just like i'm up there rocking out and i want one bitch to suck my cock But now there's a line I gotta get my dick sucked by five women I was fine after one cum I don't know I saw their point Maybe if you watch the podcast with me You would too it's like oh yeah They did effectively increase the price

In form of mandated charity Nope they're more successful than They'll ever be so they're bad If I hear that a celebrity If I hear that a celebrity if i hear that a celebrity didn't tip i don't give a fuck because like i know there might i was like well maybe it was bad food you know like sometimes i don't tip and has nothing to do with like tipping protocol or generosity it's like this was garbage food you didn't deserve a tip you were rude you don't get

a tip i'm not giving you a tip because you don't i don't want to give you a tip you're a piece of shit you know what generally when i if i don't tip it's that it's it's about sending a message oh yeah the only time i have in like the last i think the only time ever i've tipped zero dollars is i went somewhere and like we were the only people in there me and my girlfriend at the time totally empty and we ordered stuff and 25 minutes later they come out and it's like both of the things you ordered we don't have and it's like okay well do you have this and that and she's like well we don't have fries right now and it's like

that's so integral to a pub scene like do you really need those okay could you have mac and cheese I'll go make sure no we do not and it's like unbelievable bring me a list of the things you have yeah bring me a list of the things you have yeah bring me a list of the things you have oh wait i have one the menu um i was just thinking like oh i can enjoy my beer

surely they don't brew it fresh here and it's like no it took them like 35 minutes to go grab that from the bar and at the end it was like they bring out the bill and all all the wonderful things they didn't have are right on the bill and it's like you you not only charged us for the initial order of things we didn't get all the other add-ons that we also didn't get you threw on there like this is absurd no she had nothing but a salad and i had the world's worst burger because clearly you panicked and didn't even have the ingredient they must have not had any food in the back they should just close and so i left like a zero dollar thing because she was also unpleasant granted she's in a bad

position not having any food but she could at least be nice about it yeah i've been with people when the service i've been with people in the service is bad they're like i'm only tipping 15 i'm like what are you what are you fucking talking about no we're leaving one penny so that they understand that we aren't just cheap. We hate them. We're going to come back later tonight and we're going to rob this restaurant. We're waiting for her to get off her ship. I stole his wallet. We know where he lives now. We're going to intercept her on the way to the car.

We're calling them the restaurant bandits, ensuring quality service for all in the public. Yes, a lot of people call us class two felons. I disagree. I've been called that before. Yeah. Is that your class? Do you have a class? I have no idea.

It's like ranking up. Class two, then class three. Yeah, you got to stand. Those are rookie numbers around here, Kyle. So I saw on my feed earlier that tiger woods had a serious car accident today uh i guess he has multiple compound fractures in his legs yeah i i am is there a video there's an image of his car all fucked up um they had to use the jaws of life and take him through the and pull him out through the windshield.

Oh, I thought it was a golf cart. I'm showing... I'm showing the cart. I said, I read cart incident, accident, and I'm like, was he going downhill? Was he

jumping it like a jackass? Just flying down one of those San Francisco hills. It looks like he rolled down a cliff or up a cliff. Here, this is what I'm showing people. If you scroll down a little bit, there's some tweets that have pictures. Yeah, that car is fucked up I don't know how he got where he is did he drive to the left

and go up that hill or did he come from the top in a way that I'm not seeing I don't know he clearly rolled over a few times wow but he's so Kyle said he had multiple compound fractures all I've seen is that

he's currently in surgery for his legs. Yeah. I hope he's okay. He was just in the last couple years getting back in his groove, right? No. I don't know anything about... Well, I know that Irish guy's really good. Yeah, he sucks.

Woods has sucked for a very long time. He's had like five back surgeries or something. He's recovering from a back surgery right fucking now it's like yeah you know you sure tiger didn't find his mojo or something again tiger woods has not played like tiger woods in a decade well okay that's a high standard didn't he win some major i think he might have won one major in the last 10 or 12 years or something like that but like he used to win two or three a year so you're right he won the 2019 masters which i think is the biggest one the masters is that's the good one right in augusta i think so uh I think so.

Yes, in Augusta. In Augusta, Georgia. So he won that, and then he won something else in 2018, which, like Kyle said, he used to win two or three things a year, which I guess golfers don't win three, four, or five things a year, but Tiger did. He won one in 2019, which is why I thought he had his mojo back. No.

Yeah. I don't care about Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods has always been just a real, like, no personality kind of athlete. You know? I've never given a shit about him or cared about his, like, oh, is that the thing Tiger Woods uses? I bet that's why he wins three Masters a year. He's got that special special club that no one else has right yeah i know what you're saying but it's like i don't i'm not totally indifferent to him because it's of him i couldn't if you played a recording of his voice i couldn't tell you what it sounded like like i wouldn't know but it's because he

plays golf i don't give a fuck about any golfer except for that one guy who I know there's stories of him, like being blackout drunken on drugs. Uh, John Daly, I think his name is John Daly. He's really fucking cool. And I like him. He's really fucking cool.

My favorite golfer, him. And he's one of the best, uh, Howard Stern interviews ever. Hey, like, like some of the stories,

like, like he likes to gamble and play golf and, uh, drink at the same time. So they'll play like a thousand dollars, $5,000 a hole. And he'll be drinking, he'll drink a case of beer during one round of golf.

So that means he's drinking like a beer and a half every hole or something like that. So he's drinking all fucking day. Just, just getting plastered like, and, and, you know, walking the golf course, and smoking cigarettes continuously.

He would be smoking cigarettes on television, on ESPN, you know, playing golf. And it's like, this guy don't give a fuck. I've seen, like, the behind-the-scenes stuff. You know, he's got the mullet. He just doesn't give a fuck. Hilarious guy. Yeah. you know he's got the mullet just he just doesn't give a fuck hilarious guy yeah apparently part of tiger's issue was they changed the courses to take away his advantage they felt like everyone

else was just playing for second place and uh they changed the golf courses to make them longer and it was called tiger proofing to make the other golfers more competitive uh it was he had that it was his back and it was also he sort of lost his mental game it seemed like whenever right around the same time he uh uh his wife you know caught him cheating with all those whores i think the whores were what were keeping him like super scion mode like like having that many whores was just keeping him in the groove i feel like it it was his whores away faux pas to have the whores when his wife was that hot right like if ted cruz had some whores you'd be like all right i get it this is why it's kind of meh you know what she's actually not bad for 48 Her bikini pictures leaked from her Cancun trip.

But she's not good. Kyle's not going to be like, oh, get me in line. Oh, she's got bitch face. Does she? I didn't see her face in the bikini face. I like this John Daly article. He says, I won $55,000 in a casino and I said to Sherry, my wife, if you're going to yell and scream at me about this, I'll throw it over the bridge going over to Memphis from Arkansas. So I threw all the money out the window and said, you know what,

if you want that money, you can go find it. But you tell me something. You don't have a job. You're not working. I'm supporting you. I'm paying all the bills. My buddy took her to a McDonald's drive-thru and got her two cheeseburgers and some French fries and a soda and was like, okay, so if this is how you want to live from now on, that's the way you want it. And John Daly threw $55,000 over a bridge in Arkansas because his wife was frustrated at him. He also had to drink five. He said he pretended to go to the bathroom because he was having a bad front nine and then went in there and he's like, and I chugged five beers went back out had a

blistering back nine shot minus four you know it's like and you look at him and it's like he looks like if you had to just blind guess pick like which one of these guys is going to drink a dozen bud lights today while they're playing it's like oh that guy that it's it's him it doesn't would be light work for the guy with the two double fisting right now that's so funny yeah a great guy dude just uh do a google image search on john daly and the outfits he wears are all hilarious yeah did you see the american flag suit he's's got the American flag. He's got some purple and orange and blue zigzags. He's got polka dots. Oh, yeah, giving no fucks.

Here he is with a cigarette. He's got pizzazz. He's unbelievably fat in one of these. He's got a cigarette and like a third of the picture, he has his cigarette. He's smoking a cigarette, wearing camo pants on the golf course. This is just so John Daly. Yep, there you go.

I'm surprised this guy wasn't on the Trump campaign. Like one of Trump's main guys. Like when he brings his awful group of celebrities out. Dude, this guy is a lover of life. You think he even knows who the president is or cares no i'm gonna go drink uh he even said in that article he's like yeah made about 48 million dollars gambling lost about 96 so not a great overall record and it's like jesus christ but this guy he just wants to gamble get wasted and play golf

so he's he seems like he's in his milieu. Just loving life. Really good Howard Stern interview from that guy because he's shameless, right? Like completely shameless about women, about money, gambling, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, the whole thing. His fitness doesn't give a fuck and so he's just straight up about it i think he might be the guy who has the like ridiculously expensive motor

home that he lives in like like i think he's got like a mansion but then outside of it he's got like a million dollar motor home that he like he's like this is where i actually stay though i got i got big al, my motorhome here. She's got everything a man can need. Big Alice. I think you're right. He does have an amazing motorhome. I'm trying to find a picture of Big Alice.

I think he's having health issues. Oh, shit. Yeah, he's gout. So he has cancer, and they removed it, but the doctors say there's an 85% chance it comes back. And that was from September of 2020. So what's that? Five months ago? Yeah.

Well, in any case, Tiger Woods is all fucked up and I just couldn't care less. Also in the sports world, I watched Serena Williams fucking bomb it at the Wimbledon or whatever. Whatever that thing in Australia was. Is bombing better bad in this context? Bad. She was all tear. She's in her cat suit out there. And it was her chance to break some fucking record for like Masters 1 or some grand slam titles.

I don't know fucking tennis. But she lost and uh in the interview you know they do that like thing where she's in front of all the uh reporters and they're like you got a lot of unforced errors out there how does what happened do you think maybe this and that happened she's just like all crying. She's like, I just don't know. That's it. She just gets up and walks away. It's like, boo, fucking hoo. Dude.

Boo, fucking hoo. In your cat suit. I don't know much about tennis. Women swimming is emotionally brutal. This is why. You hate them? I'll explain. They peak at like 14, 15 years old.

The best women swimmers in the world are just like teenage boys at best. And then as they become actual women, they lose it. So like, and everyone else is like going into college and getting better and hitting Olympic teams and shit. They can't replicate at 19 what they did at 15 and they're all washed up and it it's just early to be washed up man it is emotionally brutal to peak at 14 years old yeah pick a different fucking sport yeah jesus you peak it's arena's 38 or something like that and she she was ninth in the world like and i think she was like she made it like the i don't know like the final four or something like that she made it deep into the tournament i watched the whole i watched the

whole thing unfortunately uh the the uh the american girl uh in the in the finals played a japanese girl who looked black and uh and and lost to her i was very surprised that the Japanese girl was so dark. I'm pretty sure the woman you're talking about is half black, half Japanese. Well, that's cheating. Why? It just seems like maybe she's getting some

sort of an advantage there. Too much of an edge. Yeah, too much of an edge. Only full Japanese should be able to play for Japan. That's not fair. That's our thing. That's America's thing. Women tennis players peak at 21 to 23.

21 to 23 for female tennis players. That's fucking young, dude. Oh, come on. The Williams sisters had to have blown that stat on the water, though. You literally picked the best female tennis player ever and said she's still competitive at 38 like i'm talking about normal like basketball players peak later guys peak later in general yeah but i think that like like like i would think that she would skew that whole like single-handed number

like like single-handedly she's won the second most uh tournaments ever or something like that and she was trying to become first i guess so they're using the elo points like i guess that's how you know however you rank a pro tennis player but that would let you use all of them so like i see what you're doing is like average age of a major one which like yeah it seems like a reasonable measure but this elo points includes all of them and figures out when they remember when the williams sisters played uh like the the 400th ranked man oh the guy who was that guy was like uh drunk and smoking he was drunk and smoking when he showed up and he smoked him like going into it serena was like yeah i think we're gonna show uh all the little girls of the world something something today you know we're gonna show you can do anything you want and literally afterwards she was like we learned something today that we didn't we didn't know

before um there's a reason we have women's tennis and men's tennis all right we do not belong out there with them okay it's a different fucking thing yeah and she she's said that multiple times since then we're like someone was doing all those stupid questions that probably annoy the hell out of her. How do you think he would do up against Andre Agassi? Is he a really good guy, tennis player? He is a male tennis player, or at least he was. Or maybe, what do you think? How do you do against him?

I'm assuming he's the best. And she was like, oh, that's an absurd question. I would be lucky to score one point. Do you understand the difference? Do you know how hard he hits it? How hard do they hit it? i was watching the women and they were hitting it like high 100 kph like 180 kilometers per hour stuff like that like 100 miles an hour i want to jump in on the battle of the sexes thing dude so the the claim was they could beat any man outside the top 200 so first serena went on and she lost 5-0 and then 6-1 and then venus went on

and she lost 6-2 uh the guy said so he was ranked 203rd and they said they could beat anyone out he's like 500 and above they have no chance he's like but i played like i was 600 ranked just to keep the game fun no literally like he's like he's downing beers throughout it he's smoking yeah yeah yeah the smoking is a well-known thing he made a he made a bit of a mockery of it after it became clear that like oh i can just kind of win at will here. Yeah, it's not even close. I looked it up.

The men's serve is the average speed of the fast of the service, 240 kilometers per hour. And the women were like topping out and like 185 stuff like that. Unbelievable. So. So. Yeah. Kil kilometers per hour Okay, that's so that's 100. Yeah, that's 150 miles per hour, okay Jesus how much it was 115 50 or 50. Yeah, I thought so real fucking fast

I just hurt to get a hit with oh That would be great. I would love to see that sport where you just take like three ball boys and send them out there and then just have like a pro just fucking bean them. A slap shot from a standstill is like 110 miles an hour. Does that sound right, Taylor? If it's like one of the hardest shooting guys on earth, yeah. I think the hardest one ever is like 111 miles an hour.

I think it's a little quicker if it's a one-timer. 109. Was it Firk? It was. It was Firk. You know that guy, Martin Firk, FRK? He had been in the minors. Doesn't care for vowels.

He had been in the minors forever. And he didn't even do that in the NHL All-Star game because he's in the AHL, the minor leagues. And the Kings were like, it was like an air bud moment. They're like, look at this fucker in the minor leagues for us. He can hit it 110 miles an hour. Bring him up. Fuck it.

Bring him. And so they suck. And so he just got a full-time NHL career out of that shot, basically, since then. Because now they know, like, yeah, just tee up Burke. Yeah, his accuracy's not great, but nobody likes to get in the way of it. He killed a fan last week.

He's also their enforcer. He just hits people. I think he went on to be a really good defenseman, but his name was Roman Yossi. Still plays in the league. I think his first game to be a really good defenseman, but his name was Roman Yossi. Still plays in the league. I think his first game in the NHL, he took a slap shot and he hit someone on his own team in the head.

And like they had to go off on a stretcher. I think it may have been someone on the other team, but it was like a not professional slap shot. Like no players like I might get hit in the head. It's like, no, he's a pro. He's not going to go for my head. He's going to go for the net. And the guy just clearly like, I might get hit in the head. It's like, no, he's a pro. He's not going to go for my head. He's going to go for the net. And the guy just clearly like, almost killed someone.

We hold these fucking guys that play with balls and fucking pucks and shit to such high regard. I think it should be like in the olden days, right? The gladiatorial arenas. A couple of them should die every week you've every week you've got like three to four major sports going on continuously if you watch espn late like they've got enough shit going on every night that it's just like hundreds and hundreds of these pro athletes are out there every night playing and no one dies that's true then i remove the helmets i wish it'd be that much though you run out of a team

quickly no no think you you plenty of up-and-comers you have minor league prospects you got you know i i would love to see them throw a fan into the mix that's another thing they did in the gladiatorial arenas every now and then uh somebody's booing a little excessively and the emperor's like oh you think you could do better you you want to go up against maximus all right throw him in and then you know fucking conscious beer belly has to go in there and fight maximus it's fucked up just like i'd love that i i i think sports need to be more dangerous on the whole like every single major sport. Baseball, you throw in the aluminum baseball bats.

See, that would be great, and it makes a better sound. Ping! Fucking basketball. I would love to see some... There's just one spot out there on the fucking court that's just... It's going to fall through like a haunted mansion. What are those things that assassins have where you stomp your foot

and a knife comes out the toe? That'd be like a good NBA thing where it's like, it's the Heat versus the 76ers. It's a mystery on either team who the toe knife has been assigned to tonight. It's curious. Johnson over there, he's been phenomenal with the toe knife knife take a look at the fucking raptors from last night yeah that entire hospital ward full full of his toenail victims that'd be good i've tried to get into basketball man because like you know i like talking sports on here with you guys and i know what he likes basketball

and i've tried to give it a go first First of all, the Hawks are garbage. They just have like, I think they won their first back to back game in like a month or two or something like that. And then they were showing their schedule and it was like rough. I think, I think they're going to play the Sixers. I think that was part of it. And then it was getting rough. It was, there was a bunch of rough games on the, on the horizon, but I was just thinking like, I wish, I wish like, I wish the rim had fucking razor blades around it so every time one of these donkeys has to fucking slam it, he loses all of his goddamn fingers if he goes too hard. I wish it was fucking four-on-four with fucking traps.

I just – With traps. Here's the story of the Sixers this year. So they're winning. They've got – I think they had at one of the Sixers this year. So they're winning. They've got – I think they had at one point the best record in basketball. All the power rankings, you know how they do that? Like ESPN will choose the best team or something. Philadelphia, best team in the NBA.

Our best player, Joel Embiid, is having an MVP season. Then they go up against the Lakers, who they beat, by the way. But on one play, LeBron James low bridged. He did a dirty play on our best MVP candidate player. And he's been injured and his back is sore and his play is not the same. And we're losing games and we're resting him. And now LeBron James is looking like the MVP of the league. And it's like, you fucker, you took out our best player with a dirty play. And now you're going to get the MVP and the championship and whatever. It's midseason.

Well, maybe not the championship. It's so early. He'll come back. I saw him get his warning for flopping the other day. Yes. And then I watched the footage. They were calling it Phantom of the Flopper. And they were superimposing the Phantom of the Opera mask over him.

So that was fun. Who flopped? LeBron. Yeah, basketball has a flopping problem. You know, I hate soccer for it. But they should punish it. They should punish the flopping. Severely.

And it used to be that, like, it took more than a hand check to get a foul called. So the game was a little rougher and a little more physical. Now, like, if you touch me at all, it's a foul. So I do everything I can to make you touch me. You know, I'll jump into you. After the shot, I'll kick my feet feet forward hoping that i can create some level of contact you know you have to dodge me while i'm shooting this thing because i'm doing everything i can to draw a foul that's the modern game and i don't love it yeah that kind of sucks yeah i i

just despise basketball i can't get into it the more i watch it the more i hate it like i thought come on kyle give it a chance you'll like it let's watch a game and i'm just like i hate these people i hate them all i hate them all i hate them all i hate how much scoring i there's just i'm sorry and i i don't watch any basketball because the same season is hockey but like when i do watch with friends i it's more disappointing when your team doesn't score than rewarding when they do, I feel like. Did they just stop calling traveling at some point in the last two decades? I remember playing basketball.

That was a rule. That was a rule that we had in elementary school. I can remember you take two steps, they blow a whistle. These guys are just like, oh. It's actually, no one can explain traveling to me. a whistle. These guys are just like oh! They're just... No one can explain traveling to me. I like watching basketball, but I can't...

I don't pretend to be an expert in all facets. I don't get it. You seem to get two steps and a jump, which takes these guys from the top of the key to a dunk almost. I don't get it. I can't remember what it was called, but there was two football games.

There was Madden, and then there was Streetball 2004. NFL Hits. Yeah, it was something like that where it was silly. It was the cartoonized version of football. That's what professional basketball is like. It's like the Streetball 2004 fucking game.'s like yeah we just fucking run with the ball like like like for like eight steps it seems like like they're just they're starting outside where the free throw line is that's how

the key or whatever and like sprinting to the back to the goal and then and then dunking it. This is not... This isn't making sense to me. I don't want to see this. Is embellishment a call in basketball? Like, if they think that you're embellishing, will they give you a foul? I'm not 100% sure. I do know it's rarely called. Okay. They do that sometimes too much in the NHL.

Some guy got... I watched a clip on the hockey Reddit, and like, the refs have sucked this year they've been way too quick with the whistles and one guy got high sticked and hit in the face pretty bad and that doesn't feel good and the guy went down like oh fuck like and the ref was like you two minutes high stick and you two minutes embellishment and the guy's like like checking if he has missing teeth and like everybody's mad because the ref's call was so bad. And like everyone,

even afterward, there were like, like affiliated hockey accounts. Like we, we fully believe that he was actually hurt. He was not. Hey, who is it that plays on an outside rink?

I was watching some clips from a game the other day, an NHL game, and they were outside with like a river in the background. It looked really cool. Yeah. That's just an every once in a while thing they do. They'll do outdoor classics in the winter. I think this year it was Boston versus someone else. It's really neat. They did, a few years

ago, they did St. Louis versus Chicago, and they did it in Bush Stadium. So they set up a huge ice rink in Bush Stadium and filled up Bush Stadium with Blues and Hawks fans, because Chicago's not too far from here. And it was really neat. Yeah, this was outdoors and there was like a river flowing behind it.

And then you could see the far shore with the trees and everything. I think it was Lake Tahoe. That's where they did it, I think. It looked really cool. I was interested. I wanted to – I was like, ah, that's the game I would have liked to have seen. I was just watching the ESPN clips. Yeah.

One of the goalies was straight up warming up with sunglasses on underneath this. I saw that on Reddit. And it's like, give him a break. He should probably be allowed to wear those during the game. It's not very fair. If not,

the blues are fucked this year. I like injuries are pouring in. Like I just, uh, like injuries have been so bad. And then just news came out today that our best defensive defenseman Gunnarsson, he's out with a knee injury the rest of the year.

So now three of our, so the way it's broken up, what do you know is this, but Kyle, there's four lines, three people per line, like your first line, the really good one,

second line, third line, fourth line, your first two lines are more your scoring lines, your top six, the bottom six are going to be more defensive role players. So three of our top six, half of our top six is out for the foreseeable future,

like probably not until the playoffs. Tarasenko, Schwartz, and Thomas, all out. A bottom six guy, Barbashev, one of our good centers, he's out. Our third line center, Bozak, he's out for the foreseeable future. Our top defenseman, Pareko, he is out for the foreseeable future. Our best prospect, Perunovic, is out for the foreseeable future. We just lost our best defensive defenseman. And of all those guys, the only two that are like,

they might come back soon are Pareko and I think Bozak, or Perunovic. All the other ones are like, so they'll put you on extended injury reserve where it's like they'll take your money off the books. The Blues now have $30 million in cap states and guys just too injured to play. Shit.

We're shit out of luck. Is Teresango's career altered at this point? Because he's had a couple of years now where he just kind of broke in. Yeah, he had a good year during the Stanley Cup run and during the playoffs, but in the last four years, I think he's had four shoulder surgeries. And when your core competency is shooting the puck really fast and accurate, that's not great.

So, yeah, not good news. I mean, I wouldn't mind. He makes like $9 million a year, so I'm sure he's going to be okay. He's going to be okay, but it seems like your team is following the Philadelphia Eagles trajectory, which is to say you won a championship, and then two years later you're not even average. The team plays great

when half the team is there. That's nine guys out. It's a hockey team. There's 22 of them and they're missing nine. It's bad news for us. I'm watching some games now and I'm like, I follow the Blues pretty closely. I'm like, follow the blues pretty closely i'm like

who the hell is because i don't watch the ahl i don't know the minor league teams i only know them when they join the big the big show and it's like well there's no way that but dudes to bots you know who's 29 and just popped up here is going to stop you know mckinnon on this and no of course i still like the avalanche catch up I'm sitting here thinking a e i o u and sometimes y and just this one time are

I'm so excited for Total War War Hammer 3 to come out but they in my head it was like releasing early 2021 but I haven't even game to War Warhammer 3 to come out. But in my head, it was like releasing early 2021. But they haven't even announced it. I want the Vermintide game to come out. When does that come out? I'm good with that coming out. I think that's also in the fall.

I'm happy to jump in. Oh, god damn it. It's already February. It'll be here before we know it. But with our luck, it'll come out the exact same time as Total War Warhammer 3. Yeah, it should be a good fall. All kinds of fun things happening. Yeah, that's awesome.

June 23rd? I might play some tonight. Oh, no. That's good fall. All kinds of fun things happening. Yeah, that's awesome. June 23rd? Oh no, that's season 3 of Vermintide 2. Yeah, I'm going to hold off on any more Vermintide. I'm more looking forward to Freedom than any particular video game release. I know. That must be even more enticing than this top-down RTS

fantasy war game. I'm going to play my own sort of top-down roleTS fantasy war game. I'm going to play my own sort of top-down role-playing game, because it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm really looking forward to that. Kyru, the Wizard of Ganja. Yes.

He used the only spell he knows, Head Rush. I'm going to go on some Skyrim fucking adventures. I'm looking forward to it about skyrim what's the next vermentine called i can't google it um um some something tied it's like riptide or um if you just google vermentide 40k you'll get it it's uh 40k it's uh dark tide dark tide yeah

nice yeah that'll be cool yeah that's I'm looking forward to that more than Warhammer 3 even I think because Warhammer 3 is just gonna be Warhammer 2 with you know updated graphics and and some more shit. You don't like the campaigns, so I can see why.

Oh, I'll never like the campaign. I'm excited about playing some new campaigns. That's fun. Even multiplayer, hopefully the maps, hopefully it's not a 1 to 50 good to horrible unplayable map ratio. Yeah, you need the list of the maps. There's a list of maps they use in tournaments, and so that tells you what all the good maps are.

I have every single thing downloaded now. Are we talking about 40k? No, we're talking about Total War 2. You can go on to, there's a guy called Inticity, and he has a Discord setup where you can go and play, like they've got a bot that

does ranked matches against similar skilled opponents and you do like a best of three with rule sets and it like matches you with other players in the discord it's pretty cool it's a lot better than just going online and clicking clicking quick battle i'll need to try that because i i don't feel confident not good enough to be playing a bunch of quick battles because i'll get stomped most of the time but then also like you play against ai and they don't play it all the way people do and you look at their army compositions and like you like click over and it's like why the hell would they upgrade

all of those units and like you unupgrade them all just to see and it's like yeah they got 900 points and just foolishness chevrons yeah the ai is is retarded it's. It's awful at its job. But, you know, people can be bad too if they don't know what they're doing. I like playing as people. I don't play against the AI. I don't like the campaign at all because the AI is so bad. But I do really enjoy multiplayer and watching the multiplayer tournaments. Like when you texted me the other day and you were talking about it, I was like, yep, that's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm watching a Warhammer tournamenthammer tournament right now yeah i want to watch more of that get more into it i get recommended a ton of it um i watch uh i watch all of turin's stuff i've mostly been watching turin i went over to that guy pixelated apollo but he's more like oh look how big this bomb is, more than like Turin, it seems. He's like, oh, and the reason he did this is because of XYZ, and this is ABC. And keep in mind this, because a lot of people forget about

this, you know, little edge that this unit has. They're like, he explains things I don't even know, where he's like, oh, and these uh, not Warriors of Chaos, fucking Norsca, I think it is. It's like, oh, yeah, they have rage. The longer they fight, the better they fight. So that's something a lot of people don't know

because they don't know to hover over all those little unique abilities. There's so many abilities in this game, and it's like, you're just like, I just don't know. No, I don't even know where to look. There's so many abilities. Yeah, there's a lot of hidden skills and stuff like that. It's a cool game. It's very in-depth.

All the match-ups. It'd be like rock, paper, scissors if there was also 30 other things that you could throw out there. There's a lot of shit going on. A lot of ways to tip the battle in your favor. I really like those tournaments to see how the best players in the world

play against the best players in the world. It's a, it's fun. Those guys are really fucking good at the game lately. And there's, there's decent prize pools. I think the last tournament, the prize pool was like 35,

$3,600, something like that. That's real money. Yeah. Not bad. Huh? Of course, our last poker game had a prize pool of around $700.

That's real money, too. Yeah. $700 fucking dollars. Is that the one you got second? Yeah. Nice. What did you get for that? Like $175, something like that.

The bulk of it goes to the winner. Who won? I wish I remembered your name, buddy. I'm bad at that uh it wasn't dirtier class no no um dirty got rather upset that game i could have guessed that uh yeah uh i think uh i can't remember the guy it was just me and him at the end and uh uh i remember i had three tens and i think he drew out a flush so like i didn't mind losing it was just like that's the way it goes all right yeah i've been playing a bunch of poker uh that's another thing that

i want to do um whenever i go to colorado uh on this little trip yeah there's a nice casino about 40 minutes outside of Denver. So either do that or if we've got a big enough group at the Manor, I was telling the guys we could go to the bank and get like a ton of quarters and 50 cent pieces

and just play a cash game that way and just use quarters and play 25 cent, 50 cent blinds and play like a small cash game that way and just use you know quarters and fit play 25 cent 50 cent blinds and play like a small cash game that way probably don't even want this but could we do a 25 person poker game at the hangout or is that just a maybe that's a bad idea you'd have to do multiple tables and you'd have to involve you know money and I don't know if everyone wants to play for money. That's true.

Yeah, you can only do, like, shit. I don't know how many people are at a table. 12, maybe? I was just trying to float the idea of a group activity that might be fun. Something that, you know, that you look forward to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel you. It's a big group, though. It's a big group.

It's a big group. Yeah, it's like 30 of us. Like 25. Yeah, it, I feel you. It's a big group, though. It's a big group. It's a big group. Yeah, it's like 30 of us. Like 25. Yeah, it's like 25 in each room. It's going to be a big one this weekend. We were just talking about that before the show. For those of you listening to this, we're going to put out a Google Doc to you guys tonight,

and you'll be able to reserve a spot spot where you want to be in the first hang out or the second or the third or the potential fourth. God, God, hope there is one. Um, and so just like click, go on there,

click when you want to be in there that way. Like, especially if you're in Australia or Japan or something. And like one of those time zones is time periods is much better for you. Make sure you get the more advantage is much better for you make sure you get the more advantageous time period for you because i got a feeling like maybe the first one is going to fill up quickly last month i was like i think i i just i uh i like messaged everybody in the discord i was like all right the fuck show will be happening in hangout number one

number two so if you don't want to be part of the fuck show and you want to get in early jump and hang out one and like 18 people jump into hangout one and i look and the waiting list for hangout two is like 40 people and i'm just like oh everybody wants the fuck show yeah you think they'll be a show was fun he broke out the sibian uh we got to see some dick root uh which yeah yeah we got to see some uh some p and the v uh um so that that that was a that was a new uh hi um he he sent me his uh or she sent me her um only fans um and I need to talk to him to see if he wants me to say that

publicly or if he wants me to say that in the Discord because I don't want to give it more exposure than they are looking for. He sent me their OnlyFans or she sent me their OnlyFans a few days ago. That's a thing too but yeah you've got

your there's the the google doc will be getting emailed to you patrons tonight um any moment now um it may have already happened uh it's his uh and uh so yeah just reserve a slot i don't know when the fuck show is going to be don't let that be your guiding light i don't i don't know when the fuck show is going to be. Don't let that be your guiding light. I don't know. I don't know for a hundred. I don't know. I don't know if it will be with us. That's yes.

And we won't be fucking anyone. I might have a solo show. I, it depends on my mood. Could be a solo show from Woody. All right. Just fingers, fingers crossed.

Uh, but yeah, make sure you reserve your slot and, uh, please do so quickly. Like, you know, so that we have an idea of what's going on this weekend.

Nice short month, black history month. So it's coming to a close rapidly. Yeah, it's an hour. PKN 340.