Painkiller Already - PKN 353

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

sure pkn 353 a lot of episodes for a sub show yes it's going well every so often i think i'm like wait pkn's had more episodes than most podcasts last losers that's true those fucking losers no work ethic podcast now today's youth speaking of today's youth i mean we're all different ages kyle you're only like four and a half years older so were you also really into like jackass and wild boys i was so into jackass i was more into jackass than anyone you know good because it lined up for you even better than for me because like when they got huge, I was still like 12. You were at the age where you could drive and cause havoc. Yeah, see, I got really into it.

I wasn't into Can't Kill Yourself, the thing that Johnny Knoxville was doing before. And I wasn't into that magazine shit that he was doing or the skateboarding stuff that Bam was doing. That's definitely before my time. shit that he was doing or the skateboarding stuff that bam was doing that's definitely before my time but i was into jackass from the very beginning when it was on mtv when it was a tv show like i i fucking loved it i was like holy shit these guys just don't give a fuck and for a for one of my projects in ninth grade i made a jackass video like we had to make a video presentation and so we did jackass and my my friend filmed me like jumping into bushes and driving bicycles down really steep hills and just hurting myself in general. Electrocuting myself, that sort of thing.

Did you get a good grade? I broke the teacher's camera accidentally and she was incredibly angry. It was a rather expensive camera for the year 2001. And so no, no good grade. But yeah, super into it. And when the movie came out, me and all my friends were just ecstatic. And so I was 16. That was, like you said, perfect timing.

So I can drive to the movie theater. Forget driving around doing Havoc. I didn't do that. I didn't go try to recreate my stuff from Jackass when I was 16. But we went to the movies. We went to that opening show, opening day, right after school. And there were so many people there that one of my friends had to sit in the aisle. One of my friends didn't get a chair, but they sold him a ticket anyway.

And he sat on the floor and watched and I had never laughed so hard. I had never laughed so hard or had so much fun as like opening day of Jackass the movie. It was incredible and then like over the years I guess like my love

for it has waned I definitely really enjoy Jackass 2. Actually I think I enjoyed definitely really enjoy Jackass 2. Actually, I think I enjoyed it more. Jackass 2 might be the peak of Jackass. I think Jackass 2 is the peak because they made so much money from Jackass 1 that they really turned loose on the budget.

And I can't, although I can't remember, one of the greatest scenes ever in Jackass, and I can't remember if it's Jackass 1 or 2, but it's the beginning it's the beginning of the episode of the movie when they're coming down that hill in that enormous shopping cart with the epic music like and there's smoke and there's cannons and they're and most of them are in their underwear

and they're just like they're they're just like ready to ride. And the thing is, they're amateurs at this still. Like Jeff Tremaine, who's making it, still an amateur filmmaker at this point. They filmed it in sequence. So the big opening scene that requires every member of the team to be doing something stupid, they filmed it first. Rather than, of course, going, all right, here's that thing Johnny does. We'll have him film it.

Yeah, Johnny has to jump a motorcycle. So this way, at least, like, we're only risking Johnny in this. And then we'll do the thing with Steven. No, no, no. Everybody get on the most dangerous thing. We're going down the hill. And I can't remember which one of them broke their ankle. It might have been Johnny. But one of them broke their ankle. It might have been Johnny.

But one of them breaks their ankle the first day. And so it kind of hampered filming going forward. But like right from then, you're just like, holy shit, they've really stepped their game up. I think there's a bull. They have a bunch of bulls running through a fake town.

And a couple of them clearly get mauled by the bulls it's great yeah i might be mixing it up like all the intros are so funny for the jackass movies but yeah i like how they and you think it's going to be fake like you see a bull like running at johnny knoxville and then it hits him up in the air and you're like oh that's a that's a real bull they like just hit him up in the air and then you like see the Wee Man scene and they intentionally bring in like a dwarf bull to go after the midget. So he's getting fucked. But it's like I I'm jealous of you because I wasn't old enough and my parents wouldn't take me to see Jackass because I came out, you know, like 2002 or something.

So I had to wait until it came on TV like and a friend was like, oh, fuck it. The Jackass movie came out on TV. Let's have a sleepover and we'll all watch it tonight when it comes on at 11. Jackass did not hit me at the right time. So I have a very different view of it. Some of the stuff I thought was really cool. Johnny Knoxville actually does have some skateboard skills. And I think he has some motocross skills too.

And I like that. You don't have to be world class for me to like your stuff. A little, you think? Well, he probably did. No, he has to forever use a catheter because of his poor motocross skill i would too if i didn't have to shit it was only three years following the accident okay i yeah but 80 of jackass based on my shoddy recollection is just fucking stupid like like i can well did they do a thing where they both sat there and threw like baseballs at each other's nuts?

Yeah. I think that is... That's funny. It's not funny. It's not entertaining. It's not skilled. I would rather wait at the DMV than watch a stupid fucking scene like that. It is the most untalented, uninventive, unimaginative, boring piece of

content that you can make. It's just hurting each other. 14-year-old me was laughing so hard at that. I somewhat agree with you. So for the movie, there wasn't a lot of that, of just sitting across from each other throwing baseballs. Yeah, that's more the early TV show where they had no budget. That's early TV show stuff with no budget.

For the movie, the worst stuff in the movie, the stuff that I was just like well come on was when they're just like paper cutting the webbing of their fingers and stuff like that like anything like that it to me is just we're wasting our time here boy there's no payoff and it's so painful it's like um put this to the side here's what i like better early x game stuff right now when people do these motocross x games things, like, you know, they do freestyle tricks and jumps and stuff. I haven't watched it in ages. They know that they can do it.

They do these firsts in competition, but they're not firsts. They've done this in practice all season long. Of course, now. It didn't used to be like that. It used to be they didn't have foam pits to practice this shit. They were literally like, you know what i've never

done this before but the x games is cool because they have surgeons and ambulances right here and you can try new things and they would using that as a rationale and they were these were literally the first time they ever did these moves at the X Games because they had medical staff. I was listening to Brian Deegan's X Game competitor talk about it. Old school guy. I think he's a liar. I think Brian Deegan is a bigger liar than our last guest. Wait, can we transition

to that? I grew up in the country. I'm sure none of you can even imagine what that's like. But in the country sometimes your dad stabs you. You just go out to the fort and you sew it up with fishing line. That's what 12-year-olds in the country do. You city boys. You don't know anything about that.

You city slicker, Kyle. You city slickers. You weren't even preparing yourself in the woods as a tween. Also, when I was a kid, there was a guy trying to rob my mom, and I stepped in. And the guy pulled out a pistol and he shot me. And I've got a scar here somewhere.

The scar is actually right next to where my dad stabbed me. I won't show you either of those scars, though. Also, when I was out there sewing myself together, this hot woman with huge tits came over and we fucked. She's from another town. She's from Canada.

She'll never be back. She goes to another school. Dude, so I spent a lot of time during the show usually looking for the next topic or whatever. Sometimes it's needed, sometimes it's not, but I'm ready. And so I'm surfing the web looking for the next thing, and I hear, none of this happened. None of this happened. This is just not a true story. How old were you when you went off into the woods and sewed yourself up rambo style and i'm like what the fuck just happened where where was i well i i like it i like that you did it also you said something i

was thinking in the early part of the show which was like uh you're a professional voice actor right would you uh talk into your mic because he was like three feet're a professional voice actor, right? Would you talk into your mic? Because he was like three feet from his mic. And for people that don't know, before the show, we do like a sound check, right? It'll be like sound check, one, two, three, sound check. I'm like, all right, you sound good. Okay, so I'll be doing the rest of the show from over here. And Woody's sensitive about that.

And I don't blame him for being so because there's a lot of people only listen to this audio. And so they listen to the audio, and it's shit. And they're like, come on, Woody. Get your shit together. Meanwhile, it's this guy who's a voice actor for, as is like, that's why he's here. He's the voice of that Call of Duty guy, Woods or whatever. And it's like, he should be accustomed to using a microphone. Look, I'm not trying to shit on our former guest.

I enjoyed him. I actually thought it was a good show. I enjoyed him. I thought it was a great show. I think a lot of people did. And I think, like, leading up to it, I was kind of like, ah, what are we going to do with a voice actor from Call of Duty? I hope he does more than that because we don't play a lot of call of duty here anymore um it's not really our thing we're we're all still into gaming but i mean my

game right now is like civilization 5 and and taylor's really into magic you know and he's into the game of life dude two and a half three minutes into the show i accused him of stealing valor for playing a soldier in a video game great bit he loved it he was good with it like he totally i was like oh you know what maybe this guy's gonna fit in just fine so i agreed i i felt like each of us made some kind of a joke with him or at his expense that was hilarious like like like i meant to say it after the show but i think we were in a hurry to leave excuse me i just burped in my camera. He was ready to go, too. I'm very sorry. You're all right.

I didn't even know. I thought it was really good. I thought it was a really good show. I don't mean to shit on him as a person or as a guest. I think some people don't have any common sense or social skills, and when you say one bad thing about somebody, they think that you

immediately hate them or something. I liked that that guy and i liked him as a guest and i would probably want him back again especially if he ever does anything else if he voices the next call of duty or something like that so so all that being said it was funny to like yeah go back and forth with him he didn't give a fuck about what i said or what any of us said he had a good time i agree yeah yeah i haven't even said he. If you missed the last show, what number was it? Do we know? 8,972 I think. 544.

It felt like more. Let me double check. Yeah, it's 544. Anyway, somehow I segued us off into that, but it was fun. No, no, no. I'm glad you did. I liked him a lot.

But back to the jackass thing, yeah, I didn't like when they literally tortured themselves. You didn't like the riot control test where they stand in front of that? That I liked. See, that's torturous. That's pretty rough. I'm talking about when Steve-O would pour hot sauce into his eyeballs or when he would... See, this is one of the best bits ever.

Did you see when Steve-O allowed the Indian guy to put the leech on his bare eyeball? Don't like that. I didn't like the gross stuff where the Indian guys would... He had the fingernails that he'd been growing for like 80 years. It's a Miller time. It's Miller time. And he pours that,

he pours a Miller Lite down like the length of his rotten fingernails into Steve-O's mouth and Steve-O drinks it until he vomits. That being said, I did enjoy,

I did enjoy the urban pole vaulting where Steve-O at one point pole vaults into this ravine of like tepid water that had a dead cat in it.

And like, that's a gross thing, but it's also kind of a stunt at the same time. So that like meets my level of funny. Like I like stunts. I especially like the big stunts. Like when there's rocketry involved, like when they had like this,

they had a rocket one time that like jumped a ramp over a lake and it was clearly poorly done because they show it in slow motion afterwards and one of the rocket boosters explodes and goes through the they made a cartoon rocket like looney tunes but on the inside is real rocketry like there are rockets in there and one of the rockets tears loose from whatever it's attached to and explodes through the looney tunes rocket right near whoever's leg was strapped to it. It may have been Johnny.

And you see it make this hole that's like two and a half inches wide right next to his leg and just keep going. I like that shit. I like the shit with like – it's like, damn, that was dangerous. He could have died there. That was so stupid of him to do. I really want an element of not knowing how it's going to work out. Yes. And it can be skill-based.

I think that might be my favorite. But also, if you're going to drive a shopping cart down a really steep hill, that's not really skill-based. You're rolling the dice on that one. I don't think johnny knoxville is any better at shopping cart rolling than i am but have you have you seen this one this is right up your alley then so basically yeah this is the one that's uh no it's bungee jump so basically and even leading up to the bit bam is like this is before i brought up jackass because i wanted

to talk about like bam's fucking depressing now but like bam was like i get ideas all the time for jackass and i don't like writing them down so i just draw a picture of it and send it in fax machine it's just a picture of preston who's the big fat guy with a bungee cord tied to him and then the other side tied to we man and so they want and they're over a pier they want we man to jump off and then bungee jump from preston and see how it goes. And what ends up happening, if you're watching, is Wee Man goes down and then he pulls Preston down and the fat one hits the ground, the water, so fast that he actually pulls Wee Man like double speed falling. You can see them come back up and they just hate it.

They're like, that was so not worth it. It's like a really interesting physics experiment, but they did it with humans instead of parabola or rubber bands. You can hear them floating at the bottom because they're mic'd up, pressed and like, did I pull you down, man? He's like, hell yeah,

dude, you pulled me right down. He's going so fast. See, stuff like that is so fucking funny. that one's good that one see that's the best of them remember when when steve-o gets inside of a porta potty and they've got two cranes with bungee cords coming down to it and and it's and it's under enormous tension but also secured to the ground. And at the last minute, they pull the supports that are holding it to the ground loose. And these two, these four, yes! It's launched into the air with him on the inside. But have you mentioned what's inside with him?

Oh, so much shit! It's filled with dog shit. So much feces! So as soon as he gets to the precipice, the peak, all the dog shit floats up like he's in space and surrounds him. It's like Homer in outer space with the chips floating around and he's eating them, but it's shit.

It's shit everywhere. Careful, they're ruffled. And they were kind enough to give him nose plugs, because I feel like they tried this once with nobody in there, and they saw how much shit was flying around. It's hard to get a grasp i'm watching it it's hard at 27 seconds to like really understand how fast he is being launched into the air oh yeah that is really fast if you if you want to watch it's called the poo cocktail supreme yeah from him yeah i this is the best kind

of shit from jackass like i liked when they had enough budget to do insane shit like this but there was something endearing about like the original one where like like you were saying urban pole vaulting it's just steve-o clearly wasted non-cocaine just like ruining people's volleyball games at a public beach by pole vaulting over it in the middle of playing it's just so funny so but anyway so all of jackass brings me so much joy every like once every like year year and a half i just watch like all of them over the course of a day or two and it's just it's hilarious brings me back but i got on like a youtube deep dive recently uh because uh you know jackass 4 is coming out, and they got rid of Bam.

Bam is not invited to be a part of Jackass 4, because he is so off the rails, and so like, such an alcoholic. Apparently his big things are like Adderall and alcohol. Like, he's hardcore addicts for both of those. What's he look like? He's like, he looks like sickly like he's he's gained a ton of weight have you ever seen his fingers with the rings yeah yeah bam margera and then yeah his fingers look like they're too big for the rings now because he's gained so much they have been for

a decade like those rings are permanently on his hand because he wore tight rings and his hands are so swollen that like the rings are just stuck there and he wears a lot of rings so it's like it's i'm surprised he hasn't lost fingers because of it it's really gross like i was apparently like well johnny knoxville i was watching some interviews with him like him and steve-o kind of have the position of like you know uh steve-o had some really really heartbreaking thing where he's like i like in the early early two thousands, man, like I was so jealous of Bam. He was younger than me. He was better at skateboarding. I thought he was funnier than me. You know, he was so famous. I remember he went and he was going to buy a Lambo. He decided he was going to buy both Lambos.

I had no money in my bank account. I was like, this guy is so awesome. And I was so jealous of him. And, you know, I told him, I told Bam just, you know, a couple months ago, I really, I want to be jealous of him again. I want to be able to be jealous of you again, man. Like you have everything that you at your disposal. And he's just, and really what it seems to be is ever since Ryan Dunn died in 2011, like he has taken a huge, like leap off with alcohol and Adderall, based on the interviews, alcohol and Adderall seem to be the two big things, probably very dangerous to combine. I would imagine. I would think so. But yeah, he's like, and Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O are,

you know, obviously it's PR, but they're, you know, talking about their friends. So I believe him being like, you know, we just want them to get better.

So it wasn't the best for him to come around and be around all of us and do that. Most of those guys are sober now. Like most of them like used up all of their fun days in their twenties. And now they're like hardcore sober like Steve-O and Knoxville, or I guess Knoxville isn't, but, and then Bam has these like unhinged Instagram videos where he's like,

these guys, I'm too jackass for jackass. They don't want me on there. Fuck them. Knoxville is a fucking snake. Steve-O, like steve-o rob i like rob preston and we man i like them tremaine i don't know yet and then other like clips he'd be like fuck you tremaine fuck you just because you want to give me five million

dollars every time you get talking about every movie he makes five million dollars or something like he's clearly just wasted and on pills and uh it's at one point he's like saying like fuck you jeff knoxville you're a fucking snake dude you're a snake like and then he just like he's in his own bathroom he just starts like like on instagram like he just starts like vomiting you can't see it but like you hear him like and he just looks dead like death warmed over yeah it looks horrible i remember seeing him really sad horrible. I remember seeing him on Howard Stern with the hottest woman you've ever

seen in your life. He always had a gorgeous woman with him and was just living this absurd lifestyle. He had his own TV show. None of them had their own TV shows. He had his own TV show. He was the money man for the whole first few years.

And it was good. Bam was like the famous guy. Bam was the famous guy because of his skateboarding. And he's the most talented of them all. Most talented I can believe. Knoxville was always the famous guy in my mind. He was famous from Jackass though. Jackass made him famous.

Bam was famous from day one. He was the famous guy on the TV show Jackass. It was like kids who were into skateboarding and stuff were like, that's Bam Margera. He's on this crazy show. I own his shoes. I have his skateboard deck. He's very loaded.

He's an incredibly talented skateboarder, or at least he was. I'm sure he can still do it. Jackass has a bunch of fuck-ups on it right now let's it's a agree they mostly cleaned up their act but you don't like most people don't have a low as low as steve-o's what was it about that show that because of the positive reinforcement for negative actions in both monet both monetarily and um and like like like um and fame, right? Like people cheer when you hurt yourself. And so you get into this sort of thing of like, yeah, I hurt myself for a living.

It's what people like about me. People love when I hurt myself. Self-destructive. Yeah, and it's just reinforcing the self-destructive part of their brains. Plus, you know, like substance abuse and the partying was just second nature to all of them anyway, it seemed like. And, you know, they're also like 25 to 30 or something like that, making $5 million, $10 million a movie. And their movies are them going and having fun with their friends and getting drunk and wasted all the time and drinking horse cum.

I'll say this. I did enjoy when they drank the horse cum. I think that's when Chris Pontius is like, if I do this, I get an out on something in the future. Yeah. And I like that. I like hearing that, like the negotiation, because I can imagine myself being in the same situation,

being like, all right, yeah, I'll drink the horse cum, but can I get out of something I want in the future? Because you guys are always coming up with something like, like, like, I know the next event is balloon. No jumping without parachutes. Yeah. I'm going to use my out. Yeah.

I know that next time we're going to jump off a building and try to land asshole first onto a pole. I don't want to do apparently some of this, they call it the dildo landing. And I don't want to, I don't want to do apparently some of this they call it the dildo landing and i don't want to i don't want to do that there was i was reading this article and it was like talking about how for the third movie they had to go and ensure every event independently because otherwise it would have been impossible and so like they were like yeah we had such so many good ideas we were gonna have ponies dress up like a like a pentecostal guy and go in and handle dangerous snakes.

But it was going to cost five million dollars to insure it. So we decided not to. It's like, OK, instead, Pontius, we're going to. And that clearly because Pontius also plays Satan in there. And he hurt himself in the Satan bit because they put him in what looks like a under construction area in like San Francisco and he's like standing on like a springboard and he's in a Satan suit and holding a sign that says keep God out of California and then it launches him out of it but it launches him way too high and he just cracks his head on the pavement and so he gets up clearly concussed like keep God out of california like just he's

and then it's so bizarre i love that bit it's literally like i i'm just gonna reiterate what you just said but the way i remember it like he's dressed up as the devil like you have to imagine like like not wearing like horns he's got a full satan costume on. And they launch him out of underneath the streets of L.A. He gets launched into being as far as people are concerned. And there's rubble and smoke. And it's like Satan has come to Earth. And he immediately goes into holding that sign that says, Keep God out of California or some shit.

And people are just like, What the fuck? It's great i did like the stuff that they would do where it was about being really weird in public and just getting reactions so there's the one where um preston is chasing we man or maybe vice versa but they're chasing each other nate like like in their underwear through the streets and you get these people's reaction of like, oh, that was weird. And then out of nowhere, like 40 more midgets come around the corner, and they're also chasing them. And it's just like,

I've never seen more than one midget at a time. Who here has ever seen more than one midget at a time, unless they were at a midget convention or something like that? Only on TV. How many midgets have you actually seen in RL? Right? Not that many.

It must be incredibly rare. I mean, I figure it's good luck. They're like leprechauns. It's got to be good luck. I'll have to ask him. How many people are busy? I always go pluck a little of their hair out.

Are you a leprechaun? I've heard your cock is pretty loud. I just start shaking them furiously. Where's the gold, you little fuck? They love it. Yeah, so I'll watch Jackass 4, but... We'll see. I don't know, man.

They're like... Johnny Knoxville's 50 years old. Yeah, I... Let me make is 50 years old. Yeah. Let me make a prediction. He looks pretty good for 50. I'll make a prediction, though. I think someone's going to get seriously injured this time. Because when you're 20, you can just jump out of a building and just, I don't know, you just roll out of it.

It looks like your bones are a little more flexible. At 50, I mean, look at Woody. roll out of it. It looks like your bones are a little more flexible at 50. I mean, look at Woody, look at what he's hand, right? Yeah. Dude,

he's fragile. They talk about that in, in paragliding a lot. Like, um, I've seen it myself. Like some stuff like this. I don't know.

Like what would have happened to young me? I think I would have healed faster. That would have happened. Um, I don't know if i would have avoided injury but sometimes people do like just an athletic 22 year old drops from 12 feet and shakes it off whereas a 50 year old even if he also like has his body fat in check and is kind of active doesn't you know like he's broken a rib and that 20 year-year-old guy didn't. He never walks again. I was landing next to a lake, and there were rocks on the ground.

And they were like the size of human heads, right? They're kind of wobbly and loose. And I was okay, but I was kind of klutzy. And it occurred to me, like, you know, I think 18 year old me with the same skill set is just like ballet dancer across that shit. You know, like, like not a problem.

Lifeguard Woody just handles that 50 year old Woody. I'm 48, but work with me, you know, is not quite as graceful, a little more klutzy by comparison to where I was. Like, that's just,

you don't get to stay young. You can be the best 50 possible, but you can't be 20. Steve-O even mentioned that in the article. He's like, you know, we try to keep it really similar to what we've always done. It's just we need to be very aware of the fact that our bones break way easier, and now it doesn't take as much to knock us unconscious. And we stay unconscious. And he said, plus we stay unconscious longer, which means that they're still

getting knocked unconscious he's gathering information most people don't have through experience like i like that plus we plus you know how now we just stay knocked out for yeah well until the paramedics get there and usually revive us stevo's stories about a drug addiction and everything and overcoming it it is so interesting like he's he was down so bad with like whippets like it wasn't i don't even remember the aids blood the aids uh cocaine he snorted yeah i remember that he snorted cocaine with aids blood on it poor choices not a good choice yeah yeah i don't think that gives you aids but it doesn't but clearly but but would you roll those dice no like of course not no of course not but like those those are his things based on the

interviews i've watched uh like whippets and cocaine right enormous amounts of whippets um cocaine lots of alcohol and i didn't mention that one as much. And Adderall. Oh, well, he doesn't remember because of the alcohol and the memory loss. But he was talking about with – or no, Johnny Knoxville was talking about like – it was either him or Steve-O. Like the last time – he was like the last time I talked to Ryan Dunn was on Guy Fieri's show called like In It to Win It or A Minute to Win It or something.

And like it was Steve-O. And Steve-O was like, it was like the, you know, getting ready for it. And like, you have to do these little like stupid things like stack dice or like shuffle cards or like toss a straw into a cup, like little stupid, stupid games. And he was like, yeah. And I remember this was just shortly before he died and he, I just look over at him and he's just shaking so much before the show. He can't even do these simple little goofy tasks like tossing a straw in. And he just looked at me and was like, I've got to go have a few drinks, man. I'm an alcoholic.

I've got to be able to do this show. I can't be shaking on TV. And apparently that was very shortly before he died from obviously the car accident. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's pretty sad. Ryan wasn't one of my favorites's pretty sad um ryan wasn't one of my favorites um i liked him he wasn't one of my favorites but he was funny he was funny uh and you know he was in some of the better bits but uh but still like like it was it sucked when he died because you know it's it's part of the show dying you know and it's i don't know i can't believe that they're

making another one did you say it's five? Jackass 4. Four. Okay, I was going to say, did I miss one? Really, it's way more because they made Jackass 1 and they made Jackass 1.5. Well, that's just like leftover footage. But they have whole movies of extra footage. Yeah, they film so much stuff for every movie. Then there's an editing process and stuff goes.

I mean, yeah, it's a lot of them hurting themselves for every movie that you know then there's an editing process and stuff goes i mean yeah it's it's a lot of them hurting themselves and being weird and traveling around the travel is one of the cooler parts one of the more attractive parts of what they do because like sometimes they're just yeah we're in tampa and i'm gonna ruin my life but sometimes it's like we're in japan or or you know like they would travel around a good bit to like exotic locations it seemed or india um you know for that one time um i liked that ryan dunn always had you know the the bit that made me laugh probably the hardest in the first movie was ryan dunn's where he put the the toy car in the condom and then he shoved the toy car up his ass yeah and then he

went to the proctologist like corner office with that indian guy and was like i was just partying with my friends i don't know what happened and he like brings it out and it's just a picture of a a car in his rectum x-ray him and ryan's just like so i did i don't know how i could have eaten that or anything and the guy's like you did not eat this this was not your wrath and then he like goes to him and he's like listen to me you don't tell anyone about this you go home you take this medicine you get rid of it you don't tell anyone all right does the doctor not know he was on camera i i don't know if they were doing something it was just like it was just like his there was one guy there like like yeah this is my friend you know like he he sort of explained the cameras like, this is my friend.

And it wasn't like, they don't bring like a fucking like red cam or something like that. He's just like, yeah, this is my friend. He's like going and record. Speaking of that, I like the hidden camera stuff. I liked when Johnny rented the car and

then took it to a demolition derby. Then tries to return it. And the guy's like, we're Johnny rented the car and then took it to a demolition derby. Then tries to return it. The guy's like, we're not taking that back. He's like, yes you are. He runs away and leaves the car. Did he buy insurance? That was a part

of contention. I think it was like, there was something about that. That was part of the bit. Whether he bought the insurance or not. Maybe when he was buying it, renting it, and they asked him, he was like, oh, yeah. Give me all the insurance or something like that. Because like not only did he take it to a demolition derby. Demolition derbies don't just have regular cars in them.

They like prep them first. They put roll cages in them and like knock all the glass out because you don't want glass flying in your eyes and stuff. This makes sense, but I didn't think of that. So it went through this whole process of being utterly destroyed. They took it into a garage and they play rock music while they're knocking the windows out

and spray painting numbers on the side. And then they go race it or whatever you call that with actual Demolition derby competitors, people who do this shit for a living. And he's in a Ford Escort with a 3 written on the side. Everybody else is in big old 1995 Fords and stuff, just slamming the fuck out of him.

This is a rent-a-car crash-up derby. Rent-a-car crash-up derby. A car crash up derby. And then they continue stuff like that. And then even when they get more money, he just dresses up like an old guy. It's great. We can stop regaling ourselves with tales of jackass.

It's good, man. I'm watching it with the audio off. Are they concerned for his safety or are they like you dick when he crashes through the window and hits the other bike? They initially are like, oh my god, and then as people are deciding what to do, he picks it back up and drives away again.

You don't know how to handle an old guy who's doing that. You can't yell at him because he just goes, oh, oh, and then it shows outside. Just boom. Just thousands and thousands of dollars of damage. Yeah, the old guy bit is interesting because, like you say, people react a lot differently to an old guy. Give a certain level of respect and difference.

And worry for them, concern. Okay, yeah. You know, when like an old guy falls, you're like, ooh. It goes back to what we were saying earlier forget 50 and having a fall this guy looks 80 and he's falling hard so they're they're like oh no his hip and he's just getting back up and going again it's great yeah this is great i need to watch jackass again i love like the the one where they actually called out the old man is when he was, he had, like, an 18-year-old woman with him who he said was his granddaughter, like, loudly. And then his supposed-to-be-old-woman wife walks away in public, and then he just starts, like, making out and groping his granddaughter's, like, ass and tits. Yeah.

And this black guy's like, what the, what are you doing? That's your granddaughter! He's like, shut up. Don't let her don't let her grandma find out about this. You're gonna rat me out. You're gonna rat me out. He comes out and says it. His wife is like,

again? Again? In my day, you wouldn't be on this bus. That was when he said that. In my day, you'd be sitting on this bus. That's not what he said there. In my day, you'd be sitting back there. You wouldn't even be part of this. That would have been a good one to drop. I'm sure he thought of it.

I'll give it a go when it comes out. I don't know when it is coming out. But not having Bam in there is going to be a little weird, a little depressing. But also, if Bam is going to be the way he is now, it's depressing to like – go to his Instagram. It's depressing. Oh, I don't want to see. I feel bad. I'm shocked that he couldn't pull it together for this because that's one thing that –

Apparently he did an MDD rehab and they still – and he didn't stop enough to not do it. And he was reading off like 15 different medications on his Instagram that they put him on for like his regimen or whatever. Probably anti-psychotics and anti-seizure medications and all sorts of nonsense.

It was a list of drugs so long it's like, oh, this can't be a good replacement like for drugs. There's got to be less. In the past, they've always like

pulled their lives together enough to get another paycheck. It's like, hey, you guys, it's time to film another jackass movie. I know we do these every two and a half years. Just pull it together. Pull it together for the next four to six months. You're going to cash in, make five or eight million dollars. You're good for the next two and a half, three years.

You can go right back into just drinking and drugging yourself to death. But you've got to clean it up. All right right just enough to be able to pole vault into people do that all the time in hollywood but it's usually they go from normal to extreme right like um out of the the best example is that indian comedian who played derrick's done a couple like natty or the guy from the eternals yeah yeah i'm not i'm never gonna get his name but he looks amazing who is he doesn't know his who played... Derek's done a couple like Natty or Natana. The guy from The Eternals. Yeah, yeah. I'm never going to get his name, but he looks amazing. No, who is? He doesn't know his fucking name. But you could take like Chris Helmsworth? Hemsworth? Hemsworth, I think.

Hemsworth, yeah. Chris Hemsworth goes from just good looking guy to super guy for six months and then backs off. The guy that played Tarzan and also was in that Vampire Blood. Alexander Skarsgård. backs off the guy that played Tarzan and also was in that vampire blood Alexander Skarsgård yeah he pulled it together for six nine months got in shape did his role people I disagree with you on the Hemsworth thing Hemsworth just goes he's

just full-on he's just full-on forever now it just he doesn't back off anymore he's just like he's like yeah, so I played the god of thunder So for my next role, I'm gonna play Hulk Hogan So we've really got to bulk things up and it's just like wait wait Yeah, maybe you should play an accountant one year so you can take a little time off. Oh, no neck next year is really hard I'm playing another God, but I completely different when a much more buff God It's just every time you're getting what he looked like in the most recent movie when well that wasn't real i know but i do think that he didn't uh yeah he actually did back off probably in real life like in terms of how hard he's pushing it you don't think so i i i don't maybe

i'm wrong i i thought he did take off seasons but i'm not sure so i'm not gonna say he hasn't taken an off season since like um yes the last since in game there's been no off it seems like he has been cranking it i don't know if he's been filming or just getting ready for filming because with the movie situation the way it is now there are movies in the can that they're not releasing yeah i think that's cool um i don't know much about the eternalsals as a property, but I watched the trailer, and man, they got a pretty damn good cast. Yeah.

Can I jump in? Angelina Jolie. Yeah, go ahead. It used to be something like the Eternals wouldn't excite me because I don't know who the Guardians of the Galaxy are. This one looks stupid, and then it's good. Now I'm like shit marvel can stamp their stamp on anything and i'll give it a try yeah it looks pretty cool um what i

gathered from the two and a half minute trailer i watched was that like these beings have been guiding humanity since the beginning of time but staying out of our affairs and they're essentially godlike super beings um and uh rob stark is one of them and angelina jolie is one of them and uh indian guy whose name is in unpronounceable is one of them who went on that crazy steroid binge for the last two years getting incredibly ripped uh and there's like i don't know eight or nine of them or something like that when you said that's all i know stark was one of them i'm like man must be tony stark's dad i guess there was a funny just i don't know if you watched the trailer but there's a funny bit in there where they're all like having dinner around a table and someone says so now that iron man is gone and uh and um Captain America is gone who's going to lead the

Avengers and Robb Stark goes I I could lead them and then they all just kind of crack up and start laughing together but for a moment I was like oh yeah I kind of like that idea all right yeah is it gonna be a hawk dude what's this is it Hawkman is that his name is it just as simple as Hawkman and I'm complicating it? Well, that's terrible. I don't know who Hawkman is. He's the new Captain America. Oh. Falcon.

The Falcon. He's Falcon. Falcon, yes. Yeah. In the show, they make it very clear that he's not Black Falcon. He's just Falcon. And somehow I never thought of him as Black Falcon until he's like don't call me Black Falcon

Black Falcon's not me, not Black Falcon just Falcon, not Black Falcon and it's like you have drilled Black Falcon into my head, I can't get it out now Is Black Falcon a different hero? No, he just doesn't want to be race baited he doesn't want to be he's a Black Falcon, that's him

he doesn't want that Is like, yeah, he's a black falcon. That's him. He doesn't want that. Is his outfit jet black? No, it's all red and gold. That would be funny. It's just totally black and murdered out. Kind of in falcon form. It's all flashy and by the end

he becomes Iron Man. He's all red, white and blue with wings and shit. Yes, I did mean that. He becomes uh but yeah there's a lot of racial stuff going on in this uh in that in that tv show the uh the the falcon and the winter soldier because you know yes there's even a scene there's even a scene where and i didn't mind it because i mean shit it is kind of true mostly um uh it's not all propaganda some of it is but there's that scene where the Falcon and Winter Soldier are having like an argument in the street not like in New York or anything they're in like

some little side street in a town and the cops pull up and they immediately ask the Winter Soldier if this man's bothering him like are you okay is this guy bothering you sir can we see some ID? Like, to the black guy. And meanwhile, it was a white guy and a black guy, like, having, like, a mildly heated argument in the street. Like, they easily could have been arguing over, like, DC Marvel. No way! Superman's the best! Like, it was just, like, that kind of argument.

Like, and the cops were just, like, hands on guns. Like, sir, is this guy bothering you? Is that negro getting in your face, sir? Let me see some ID son hey boy hey boy come on let's say that really yeah it's getting real racial real quick and you can tell that like it's a good thing where everybody here has superpowers or this guy get might get a knee on his neck and then he's gonna get painted on a wall somewhere in a week or two. What year is this supposed to be? Now. Now. Yeah.

Okay. What is Falcon's superpower? I don't think he has any. He doesn't have any superpowers whatsoever. Wow, that's embarrassing. He just has that suit. He's kind of like Iron Man in that way. Yeah, he's an elite athlete with a suit. And perhaps military training?

Yeah, wasn't he training in DC when Captain America lapped him? He was part of the military. Yeah. This guy seems like he's kind of like C-tier. Like they send out the real heavy hitters. And so like the Hulk, you know, I'm assuming if there's a real deal problem,

the Hulk might be the guy that you get on the case. Whereas if there's a string of strong arm burglaries, the Falcon might be your man. The Black Falcon is the man for that. I heard someone's been coming

for the Swisher Sweets. Been strong arming you, have they? The Black Falcon's on it. No, I'm just a regular Falcon. I've got myself saying it. Peach. Peach Swishers. Who would be strong-arming Peach Swishers?

I don't know, but I'm on the case. Because the Hulk is taking care of fucking China. You know? I want to lay out his superpowers because it's kind of funny. Here they are. Limited telepathic and empathic control over birds. And the first openly HIV positive character is his nephew. Those are his claims to fame.

Wait, how does his... You gotta keep in mind. His son or his nephew having AIDS... HIV positive. Is are his claims to fame. You gotta keep in mind. His nephew having AIDS? That's in his power column? Yes. What? What you gotta keep in mind is when you read the wiki, you're getting like,

there's been lots of authors and lots of comic books written about these characters for like 30, 40 years in Falcon's case. And so clearly the HIV thing came from the 80s or the early 90s when they were trying to have some HIV awareness and acceptance because people were treating people with HIV like they had the Black Plague and trying to keep them out of sports and stuff like that.

And that's definitely the era that that little thing came from. Bird telepathy is hilarious though there's no way i can explain that one away and make it seem like anything other than nonsense he doesn't use it he doesn't have it like that's something that happened in some weird comic book someone wrote like yeah maybe i've never seen him use it either maybe maybe like he's in the bird's mind. Because he's the falcon. So like, you know the other falcons they have a bond. Man, so he can hit a bond with him. So he would get

like bullied by Aquaman for how useless his power is. Well, they're in different universes but if they did exist in the same... Whoever the fish guy is in his universe is mobbed to get out of them. Yeah, that's... Neptune? but if they did exist in the same... Whoever the fish guy is in his universe is mobbed to get out of them. Neptune?

There should be one. Neptune is a character as well, but that's irrelevant. Who is the Marvel fish guy? Submariner. Namor the Submariner. I don't know this person. Well, this guy's power sucks. There's only two things in that column you read. One is just a family

relation and an illness. The other one is I would rather have no powers. What are Kyle's superpowers? His father has hypertension. His superpower is dealing with heart disease in the future. Yeah.

Yeah. What the fuck? Like, how does a relative... Anyone can throw spaghetti at the wall, and it'll make it into that. And the only things that have been drawn out of that hat to put on his Wikipedia page over these decades is that he has a nephew with AIDS

and fucking Burt's. You would think that he would be written into a story in, like, let's say, 1992 where he was really good at throwing blades. Or he got exposed. That's what I was going to say. Somewhere along the way. Somewhere. There's always a story.

He got a little radiation, or he held a jewel, or something happened. Or some sort of magic made him swap powers with a different hero. That's always happening. Anything at all. Yeah. Never happened. Never hero. That's always happening. Anything at all. Yeah. Never happened. Never happened. He's always just been black guy with a fly suit. Yeah.

Well, he sounds like they're really they're either hitting the bottom of the barrel on heroes or they need to invent some more. So, like, I hear you. Marvel does a pretty good job of taking heroes with wildly varied power levels and making them all useful members of the team.

That and like, you know, different heroes for different problems. So like you've got Daredevil, for example, who's also in the Marvel Universe. Daredevil exists alongside Iron Man and Captain America and all those guys. And so he's just never in the news? Ever? No. Yeah. So like in the Daredevil show, you saw the aftermath of like

the Marvel movies where like half of New York is destroyed. You know, and like Daredevil isn't like well, it's a good thing I was on vacation or i'd have jumped in there he's just like yeah fucking aliens apparently came from the sky i mean i i kick the shit out of like thugs and and strong arm robbers stealing swisher sweets me and the black falcon and i also beat up the black falcon sometimes because i have actual powers

yeah even i call him the black falcon but even i'm blind oh no my enemy it's the guy it's a guy with a hammer that carries around a white noise machine i'm doomed oh no oh shit it's the hammer oh my god it's my it's my biggest enemy a house with surround sound i'm hapless. Kyle's right. They use different heroes for different problems, but even when the problem is Thanos, they manage to make the characters with weak powers

useful. I want to see Daredevil fight that superhero whose main thing is just wrapping himself in this sound dampening foam I've got behind me. And he's just like sneaking around and just like taking cheap shots at him. He wears Crocs. I enjoy the Daredevil show.

Like what happened there, it didn't get cut from what I understand because of low ratings. I think that, you know, Marvel was, and Disney was like pulling all their properties close. And that was just another one of them that like, oh, Netflix, you think you own one of our things you're a you're only a hundred billion dollar company we're a trillion dollar whatever the fuck they are they're just they've got to be enormous compared to disney

yeah so they pulled that in it's a shame though they had a they had good casting you know um all those characters were cast well on that show and I was digging it. But Netflix was kind of fucking up. I want to talk about Jupiter's Legacy on PKA. I'll save that for then. But I think Netflix is doing a decent job with some of the new shit they've made.

Black Falcon. Are you still reading Stormlight Archive? Oh, go ahead. I finished the first book today actually so what would what you would call the second book i guess but there's because you say there's six but on audiobooks it seems like there's three it's three yeah yeah so i finished the the first one very nice are you enjoying it yes it took a little while to there's a part in there where it needed to heat up. You know, the...

You learn names even worse when you don't read them. But what's the chick's name who's the bad thief? Shallan. Yeah. She got boring for a while. She did. In the very beginning, her story was one of the most interesting to me. And you were like, whenever Shallan's segment comes up,

you know, I just try to read it fast and get through it. And I'm like, no, hers is the best, but I'm way behind you. I started to share your feelings on Shallan. She got dull. She gets way better than she was even in the beginning. Her character gets a lot more interesting very quickly.

Pretty much all the characters I like now. This guy, he... Kaladin killed a shard bearer and gave away the suit and the sword that irritated me so for people that don't know the

there are these shard blades and shard armor and the blade is like amazingly good it goes through anything it doesn't even cut you it just like passes through you in like a ghost fashion and i think the people's eyes get sucked out and they're emaciated and they just die am i pretty much on target here taylor yeah and then the shard armor is hardly able to be damaged by regular weapons, you know? So me, in shard armor with the shard blade, could take on perhaps a thousand people with crossbows.

Until you get tired. And then they just, yeah. But they can almost rest. Just curl up in a ball and take a little nap. Yeah, yeah. Like there's little eye slits that are an issue and like some may be by the knees. But basically. I found my butthole flap.

No. So two shard bearers that, you know, sort of back each other up and know what they're doing can single handedly about tie an army. It's not a guaranteed win, but there they are. A shard blade, the sword, is the most valuable thing. It's priceless. They described it as worth more than a city. Yeah.

This sword's worth more than a city. They can't make any more. It's an ancient holdover, and it's a spiritual thing. There aren't any more. They don't know how to make them. They're like these. It's an ancient holdover and it's like a spiritual thing. And so there aren't any more. They don't know how to make them. They don't know how to make the plates. It's like a Star Wars thing where they had all this technology a long time again.

They are Star Trek, whatever it was. And the only way to get one is to kill someone who already has it and to take theirs. Or given it. So given it. Yeah. And Kaladin. Do I have his name right?

Kaladin? Yeah. He's. yeah and uh caledon this do i have his name right caledon yeah he's i can't describe how low he is in the caste system there there's like at the top you have like kings and queens and then you have like soldiers and useful people then below them maybe farmers and below them there are slaves and then below slaves there are these people that carry bridges and their mission is literally to die they buy slaves they make them bridge carriers and they are like distractions so that they don't shoot at people i consider more valuable and they all just die kaladin is a bridge carrier as the lowest like I can't put into words how there's

nothing lower on earth right like I think animals are more useful yeah like there's like these slaves called like parchment that are really valuable because they just they'll do whatever you say they never talk back and they don't use those for this duty because they're like no no use a human slave

these are way too valuable just take take some crook and some crab. I honestly think someone might pay more for a donkey than a bridge carrier. They're very low. So this bridge carrier kills a shard holder. I don't know what to call him. A shard soldier. Now he's earned

his armor and his sword. And in this culture, like in the universe here if you kill one of them you become what they call a light eyes which is like a higher value and i think it literally changes i think your eye color literally changes you get blonde hair and you become like a higher version of a human like you elevate to the top and he turns it down he's like nah he gave it to someone else and i don't know what if they were trying to say oh he's so not about rank that he gave away the highest rank even though he's lowest then that he could have done more good with this stuff even if he just wanted

to be the best person possible doing it from the position of a light eyes would have been better I yeah frustrating me it frustrated me too in that part of the book because and like this character is known for being obviously he's very very good with fighting because he killed someone with you know basically a guy with like you know a pistol killed a guy with a tank sure so like he did that and when he did like leave the the armor and everything and just left and went back to like his shitty little life i was like well this is annoying but it gets it gets really good you know it ends up making sense uh a little more you know it makes a little it's like a combination of why he turned it away i won't say what it is but uh it doesn't explain it in book two? Yeah, it's either, it's in, it should be book two.

Yeah, yeah, book two they do, because I just started the first book of book three last night, so I'm on book five by minus. So he already has his new job. I finished this book and listened to the epilogue. Oh, and annoyingly, after the epilogue and the audiobook version, they read like the appendix to you. Yeah, that's in the back of all the books.

It's just, like, and then it's, like, Tolkien-esque, where it's, like, the 700-page tome ends, which is half of a book, and then you, like, flip and there's 40 more pages of, like, the drawings and, like, the classes. He has so much lore that it's not, like, and the three titans of Blabla Blorf, it's, like, and the three titans of blah blah blorf. It's like, and the ten titans remained in the ten cities.

And every city had a tower with ten levels. And every level of the tower had eighteen rings. And the eighteen rings. And then there are the ten fools in every trait of foot. And it's like, this guy clearly is... You know how you don't text and drive, right? Like, that's a bad idea. But maybe you have done it at one point. If you thought that it was the perfect situation all day every day the don't text and drive thing is times a hundred on a

motorcycle there's never a good time to take so i don't even like change songs and stuff very often and i'm listening and i'm just going i'm being driven mad as they explain this audiobook starts reading the appendix and they're like you know sassafras plants are known to give people confidence rosemary plants are known to give people like feelings of boldness and then they're just going through like all these different recipes and ingredients and what different rocks do i'm not retaining any of it it was i love fantasy stuff so much but i and i the first book i got to the end of it and i'm like oh cool little appendix i'll learn a little more about the universe i get like three pages in and i'm like i do i don't care i just i don't fucking imagine that you listen to an audiobook and then they read the glossary to you in the

back and i'm just like what the fuck are you serious this is part of the book well book two is way better than book one uh there's a lot more action a lot more three your numbering system i'm saying it like yours now okay okay well cool two is way better than book one there's a lot more shit going all the characters get more interesting the gang kind of starts to come together you know so it's not as atomized and that helps make it better you know when i don't know i like dalinar a lot he's one of my favorite characters in there yes honorable guy almost too honorable yeah yeah he is almost too honorable but is it there's a twisted thing in him because he like puts on the front of

like being very very honorable but he always pushes for what he wants so he puts on the front of being very, very honorable, but he always pushes for what he wants. So he'll be like, I don't want to upset the king or the order, and then he does it anyway, or whatever that is. So he's got an interesting dynamic. I'm loving this book series.

I'm glad that I started it. I'm going to... You guys are going to suck me in. Stormlight Archive. Get it on. Get the physical books. You can read way faster. Yeah, yeah. we talked about that

that's true yeah yeah i got so much going on it's like god i can't really how am i gonna do this if i'm reading books there's yeah i'll get a book i'll go well it's like 4 000 pages of good content so although i do like to listen while i drive, like you said. I do enjoy that. When I was super into Game of Thrones, I was like, you know what? We're being rude. We're just going to be rude. A girl would get in my car, and she's

like, hey, you want to listen to music? I'm like, I think I'd rather listen to chapter 37 of book 3 of A Song of Ice and Fire. You're right about there, right? She's like, a song of what now? And're you're right about there right she's like a song of what now and i'm like aria walked through the dark forest it was darker than a forest had ever been before where we get her whim was moist what am i and she's just like what i've told the story before one of my favorite parenting moves everyone thinks it's terrible but i stick by it and think it's fucking awesome hope goes to high school like 30 40 minutes from this house she doesn't want to

drive yet so we have to drive her there but it's hard on us because it's like 40 minutes there and 40 minutes back twice a day that's that's a major like so bizarre piece of your day all right yeah yeah she did one there next year she did but anyway so i had no like interest in making this a good drive so i would just listen to game of thrones which was just fucking brutal and i listened on the way home too it wasn't like she could follow yeah she's not keeping up yeah no no we're just kicking off at like halfway through book three and she's like wait what happened to joffrey he's dead now don't work if you drove yourself to school you'd know wouldn't you that's about how it went so she was there when the guy made that aru sounds it was terrible so anyway i'll always uh

admire myself for that i I bought the fucking discs. For some reason, I thought that was more convenient. So, like, I had... I don't know why I thought that. Why would you think that? I really don't remember why, but, like, I bought the discs. And so just one after another, I'm plugging them in. So you got your Walkman, and you're going around town?

Yeah, I got my Walkman. I actually bought the cassette tapes, and I had that converter. Damn it, when I try and run, it keeps skipping. You remember that? Did you ever have one of the converters? It would go from your personal CD player and turn into a cassette tape that you'd then plug into a car. So you could play a CD in a car that didn't have a CD player. That's what I had in my first car, so I could listen to music.

I did that, but it was for an iPod. Okay. Didn't even know that existed. i did that but it was for an ipod in the okoma okay didn't even know that existed yeah what was the same thing it no no i i get it i just didn't know that like that one tech to i didn't know they kept making those to the point that it was going from mp3 to cassette yeah like i wonder if it goes back any further is there one that plays on an eight track player that's but it's not a new tech. iPods used to have a headphone jack, so it's just the same cassette you're always talking about. Of course, of course.

I guess, do iPods have a headphone jack now? I know they've removed it from the phones, those cocksuckers. Surely they do. Who wants to listen to music wirelessly? Do they make iPods anymore? It's all phones, right? I'm not even sure now. Maybe I'm...

They have to because you can get those iPods and they're like a little pack of matches. They're so little. Yeah. The iPod mini. Remember the iPod shuffle? So if you're running, you just throw that thing on your shoulder or like... I'm surprised the music isn't stored in the earbuds at this point. Like, why is there even a device?

I was thinking of that at the same time. Harder to lose or easier to lose, I guess'd be perfect you buy more of them yeah it appears that the only thing there is is an ipod touch which looks like a phone yeah okay i expected to see what kyle talked to like there's some like gym rats and stuff who really like the tiny ones they wear it as an armband yeah as an armband it does like sports stuff as well i i have never owned an ipad or excuse me an ipod of any kind i've never owned one whenever um i had the original or not the original one that went like click click click click click click like when you circle oh yeah that had the they called that something they just call it a wheel i feel like they had a cool name for it. What was that phone I bought?

When those were big, I'm probably wrong about exactly when they were big, but it was 2005. Around 2005, I was going to buy a new phone, and I bought this phone at the time, and it's thing, the Blackjack or something like that? I think it was called a Blackjack. Let me make sure that's the phone.

Blackberry? Uh-uh. I definitely understand what Blackjack phone. Yeah, yeah, it was called the Blackjack. It was a Samsung Blackjack. And its thing in its commercials was how much music it could store. And it was just like, it reminded, it reminded me of like early, of like the retro Apple advertising they do,

but like the people who are dancing around, holding the device and everything like that. And oh, it stores, it stores 85 fucking songs. Can you believe it? 85 or whatever it held. And so like, that's what I got instead of any sort of Apple device. I was like, yeah, I want that fucking blackjack. That looks cool. It's like a smart, it was like, that's what I got instead of any sort of Apple device. I was like, yeah, I want that fucking blackjack.

That looks cool. It's like a smart. It was like, I guess it's a smartphone. Let me look at it again. Kind of smart. It's got an LCD screen. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got a little screen. It had a little keyboard. There weren't a lot. Like, it reminded me of my friend's Palm Pilot and my other friend's Blackberry, but it seemed like a younger person's phone that did music too and it sort of like fit all those needs into one and i and i got that thing and it was just awful it's just a terrible no it was fine it worked great as a phone but i don't think i ever put any fucking music on that thing oh i've been doing iphones since

the second one and didn't have the very first but i had their second one and i've been doing iPhones since the second one. Didn't have the very first, but I had their second one, and I've been on the iPhone train ever since. I'm pretty happy there, I think. I feel like I tried Androids, determined that for me they were much worse, but that was a good six years ago and hardly relevant to what might exist now. Yeah, it's so different now.

Yeah. Is that a samurai in your background i like that that is the uh the mandalorian uh i got the mandalorian in my background um i don't know it's it's like i had this conversation with a with a young lady the other night i was just like what's your iphone do that my hundred dollar samsung doesn't this isn't me talking shit i'm curious i'm willing like, I'll buy one if it does something that I can't do. I think one of the big stumbling points that existed, I think it might have been seven years ago, that the buying music situation was much worse. iTunes, the way that you bought and downloaded music, was just a much better experience than the, it was like Google music and like something else.

And it was kind of fractured and I didn't understand. And I guess my phone was bought by AT&T and they kind of fucked up Android. And I didn't know what was fucked up by AT&T and what wasn't, because it was the only version I had seen. Now I would just have Spotify and audible and I would seamlessly go over. It'd be no big deal. That's what I was going to say. My dad's phone is a fucking mess.

You know, he doesn't know how to like delete apps or shuffle them around. So it's just page after page of apps. And he like, like he has to go like page 87 or something to find like his contacts. And there's like, is it like three per page like haphazardly placed? No, every page is full. Every page is full of apps. Stupid apps that he doesn't use. I have two pages of apps, and like,

I have apps categorized. I'm sure all phones do this, but I didn't know until the other day. Like, all your dating apps go into one little bubble, and it just calls it dating. Like, all your music apps go into one little bubble, and it just calls it media or whatever. And like, I don't know but the

front page of my phone has 4 8 12 16 apps and they're everything i ever use it's everything i ever use it's you know i'm not gonna go through my fucking apps but you know yeah it's all i need yeah but yeah i use spotify for music um i'm not anti-apple at all i don't give a fuck if they make them with slave labor or monkey labor it doesn't make a difference to me um I don't give a fuck if they make them with slave labor or monkey labor. It doesn't make a difference to me. I don't care how much they cost, even. Although, I do think like, shit, this phone's $150. I don't need a case. If I drop it, it's

probably about time to get a new one anyway. I get one every year for $150. And they all do the exact same shit. And usually, $150 buys a better camera every year. The phone's better every year, but the same price. I need a new phone. I've had the Samsung forever.

I need to get mine fixed. Really just starting to not work. I do a big group plan with Kitty, like a business plan or some shit. And whenever I drop my phone and shatter it inevitably every year, I'm just like, hey, broke the phone. Time for a new one. She's like, all right, what you want? You can get a blow, blow, blow and a blue, blue, blue. And I'm just like, Hey, broke the phone time for a new one. She's like, all right, well, you won't, you can get a blow, blow, blow in a blue, blue, blue. And I'm just like $175. That's where I top out. I'm the best phone, like whatever they've got. $175 is the most I can have this cutting into my suit budget. Yeah. Yeah. It's cutting into my fucking

suit budget. Um, you know, it's just like, that's what I think a phone's worth at this point in my life i think phones are worth 175 dollars uh and i don't see any reason to pay more uh if if someone shows me a reason i'll happily pay two thousand dollars you show me a phone that's worth two grand i'll spend it i just haven't seen it yet you show me that phone that's fucking got a holographic keyboard that pops out in front of me and i can type fucking 90 words a minute on thin air or it does like i can press a button and it'll throw up a hologram of like my videos. Or even a display on the wall or some shit. If it would like, if I could take a video from my phone and then display it onto a wall like a projector. I'll pay.

I'll pay for any of those things. Even if it made a little hologram right above the phone. That was like, almost like wireframe of one of my videos or something like that I'd shot, I'd pay for that. But if they're like, oh, it's a millisecond faster now. What? Speed is not my concern. Calculations per second don't matter. Yeah.

I just needed to have the internet and maps and be able to call and text. It's about all I fucking use. Usually I replace my phone because the battery died. Usually it's like, ah, you know what? This thing used to run for like 8 hours, 12 hours, and it

now it sucks. It runs for 3 hours. It goes from 43% battery to 0 in a snap, and it's time for a new phone. Samsungs get slow. Like the way old laptops used to. Like, it's time for a new laptop. This thing is like hitting the keys. Like, what the fuck?

My Samsung from like two gens ago, I would click an app, and the app would like oh you could see and i was just like are you fucking kidding me all right it's time for a new phone this is bullshit like you're struggling to open whatsapp or snapchat or whatever like that's where i'm at right now like i opened up my my outlook on my email and it was like i was in the middle of responding to something and it just like just just froze and then went away like force closed it and it's like all right i i should probably just invest get the new phone i'll just get an iphone this time i have a modern iphone but it's my phone doesn't text well with my friends who have iphone like everybody all my my closest friends that i text with all the time it It's like eight of us in there. All of them have iPhones except for me.

And so like all the time there's miscommunications and like, I won't get a text that one of them sent or they won't get a response that I did in the group chat. It's just fucking annoying. It's not worth it. Well, I was told that my, uh,

I was a little confused by the text message, but I was told that my high school team, I think went to the state championships for baseball the other day. Lost, lost. Did you go to the game? What do you fucking think? I didn't even know. My mom texted me.

She's like, yeah, we went to the state championships. And it's like a picture of her and her friends at the game. And I'm just like, how'd it go? Lost, one to nothing. One nothing? That sucks. One to nothing? What a boring ass game.

Baseball. That's soccer. Speaking of scores, how'd you enjoy that sweep last week, Taylor? Whew. Not good. Now I've got to jump on board with the Avalanche and hope that they make it all the way. Make us look a little better. It was awful.

That was the worst series I've ever seen. All right. It was awful. That was the worst series I've ever seen. All right, it's Monday. I got to make sure I watch one of these Avalanche Blues games. And I pull it up and it's like, Avalanche, sweep the Blues out of the playoffs. Four games straight. And I'm just like, fuck, I missed it? They swept them over the weekend? Holy shit.

Dude, watching the games, I didn't even want to watch, like, the third and fourth one, because it was like, who are these people? They're like, and Santini passes it for, who the hell is that guy? Like, who is that? Because, like, you know, traditionally a team will have six defensemen, right? Or hot dog salesman

is coming out for the Blues tonight. Usually you have six defensemen, except we didn't have Dunn, we didn't have Gunnarsson, we didn't have Falk, and we didn't have Bortuzzo for games three and four. And so literally it was like two NHL defensemen and four other guys, and then it just didn't work at all. Our best point, Perron was out the whole time.

And he ended up, I guess he was bummed. He's like, I had COVID, but it was frustrating because it's like I didn't even feel that bad. But I kept getting tested over and over and I kept coming back. It's just a fucking shame. I might have been able to come back for game five. And it's like, well, that's not going to happen because they got eliminated in four so this was a fucking terrible season for the blues sorry about that man they uh they oh i don't it's it's they won the cup two years ago this is the payment for that but i mean they're they're man games lost which is how they gauge

injuries like the only team even close to the blues this year is the anaheim ducks and the anaheim dubs are the second worst team in the NHL. And so for the Blues to make it, I would have rather them just sucked and gotten a slightly better draft pick. But that's not what I was thinking going into the playoffs because we had Bortuzzo and Falk and Perron. And so I was like, it'll be a long shot, but we might be able to do something. And then as soon as that evening happened right before the game won, where it's like, your best player?

Yeah, he's out forever. Really? Okay, well, this is bad news. So Team Avalanche and Team Hurricanes. Hurricanes play tonight. Their series is tied 2-2 with the Nashville Predators. So let's hope they can seal it up. Well, not seal it up tonight, but yeah, it'll be fun.

Okay, in two days, for you listeners, we're going to be talking a little bit of Jupiter's Legacy. It's a show on Netflix. I love it. Woody hates it. I want you people to watch it. I want more opinions because I could be wrong here. I liked it a lot.

It's a superhero show, so don't even look, Taylor. You don't want to see this. But, you know, check it out. I thought it was quite good. It's hard to compare it to Invincible. I'll say this. I enjoyed it more than Invincible. I don't think it's better than compare it to invincible i'll say this i enjoyed it more than invincible i don't think it's better than invincible there's a big difference there's

so many things i'd rather be doing than watching that show i watched it all i saw the whole thing it was terrible hate like so the it takes place there's like a sort of modern thread and then a flashback thread the modern thread was bad but the flash back thread was really bad the modern thread is good the flash back thread is great I'm struggling because I'm like I know Kyle's smart but

he's providing evidence to the contrary because he's liking the dumbest thing to have ever been so fuck we'll save it for PKA it's real good. There's brains and entrails, and there's lots of hot women wearing spandex, and there's drugs, daddy issues, fucking shirtless dudes, if you're into that sort of thing. These are my favorite things.

I still didn't like it. Most of the original comic book, the original hero is like 130 years old or something like that, but because they're supermen, they've aged pretty well. It's good. Jupiter needs a haircut. I don't know what that's about. Jupiter really needs a haircut.

He looks like a bum. Yes. Mr. Utopia, that's his name. Give it an episode if you're out there and you're on the edge. If you really like superhero shit, I think you can add this one to the bit. I was burnt out on superhero shit. I didn't want to watch it, but I was like, ah, let's give it a try. And I was like, I'm going to watch it until I don't like what I'm seeing.

And eight hours later, I was done with the whole series. I just binge watched the whole thing in one sitting. Ruined my sleep schedule. So yeah, check it out if you want to. We're going to talk about it a little bit on PK. It'd be good if you went into it not having to avoid spoilers and maybe being like oh no, Woody's absolutely right. That show is garbage. Blah blah blah.

And there's no squirrel people. There are no tits. And I feel like they don't say fuck enough. Those are my gripes. Fair criticisms. PKN 353.