Painkiller Already - PKN 356

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

pkn 356 yeah god did did you do anything with your week i know we got eight days between shows did you manage to get out all right great time yeah i went on a little trip you did yeah yeah nothing nothing crazy nothing like what you're doing um just just a little trip uh hung out with some people uh that's about as specific as i want to get. I had a good time. Okay. Did you leave the state? Maybe. Oh, I did get an email

from my probation officer on the Delta 8. He was like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's a prohibited substance while you're on supervision. And I'm just like, okay. He didn't get my first email asking him, but he did get the second email, which led him to the first email.

And he got right back to me after that one this Monday, which was yesterday. Yeah, yesterday morning, very early. So, yeah, that's a no-go. But what is it? 108 more days until probation's over. So I guess I'll just wait 108 more days. No big deal. But I was surprised because Delta eight is like federally legal and I'm on federal probation. And I would be surprised if it's like listed among the like prohibited items that they have

or whatever. Um, we're obviously things like alcohol and, um, I guess just alcohol really. Because alcohol is legal. Exactly. But it's prohibited for you right now. And I guess Delta 8 is in that same thing. Yeah, but it's just weird that it would even be listed because to me, at least in my world, it's a brand new thing. It's like something they just invented last week because I just heard about it

like, I don't know, a month or two ago or something like that, but maybe it's been around longer than that. And it's just kind of caught on more recently. Uh, it's an, it's interesting cause like, I know a lot of people who are doing it like in my like personal life, my real life and like online, everybody's doing it that I know, like guys who normally didn't even smoke weed because it wasn't legal in their state. I just assumed like, oh, he just doesn't want to smoke weed. But it was like, no, he just doesn't want to break the law. But so now that he's got like Delta eight, like all these guys are just like, they've progressed from like, I guess, and I don't know much about it, but apparently you can get Delta eight in every form that you can get weed in, which is something I do know a lot about.

And so there's like Delta eight flower, which is like the green plant matter. Right. Um, so people smoke that. And I, and I was like, Oh, okay. Okay. I, I didn't realize that it would be like that. I thought maybe it'd be something gross since it came from hemp, but now I guess it kind of looks like weed. And then, um, then all of a sudden I see these guys have edibles and I'm like, Oh, that's cool. And they tell me they even taste good and now i'm seeing guys doing uh delta eight dabs they've got like the the concentrate they've got the full propane tanks in their bedroom like we're playing games and they're they're firing up over there like they're blasting off going to mars um so yeah everybody i know pretty much has started experimenting with delta eight who uh

who doesn't live in a state where weed is legal. Alright. Do you have me right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you paused for just like a fraction of a second. Where are you, by the way? Okay. Like not specifically that room or anything, but like what state have we made it to? I'm sorry. This internet. Can you say that again for me?

What state are you in? Oh, I am in Oklahoma. Guymon, Oklahoma. It's in the panhandle. I think that's what that little thin section of Oklahoma above Texas is called. And I'm getting my bike fixed here. So are you still getting me okay? Yeah, yeah. I'm getting you.

It'll freeze every now and then, but it's not a big deal. It's not like crazy disruptive. I'm beating myself up over it. I searched this hotel out days in advance. It is super nice. I don't want to show everyone because it's such a mess, but I will show everyone. I got like a couch behind me,

a little table sitting area. I have two queen, but my Woody standards, this is a pimp hotel room. This is a penthouse suite. And I assumed this is a penthouse suite by my standards. And I was like, I sought it out in advance because we have some pretty crappy internet from

time to time, but on show days, it's meant to be good. And no one advertises their upload and download speeds so i just go by like the quality of the hotel yeah and i was disappointed with the internet given how good everything else is here but what are you gonna do how much is the room cost if you don't mind me asking because i was gonna say like what i would often do is find an airbnb because like like i bet you're the cost of your room plus the cost of his room equals an airbnb somewhere and with them you can like be like hey

what's your internet speed and they'll be like oh it's good like no no no go to speedtest.net and like tell me exactly what it is and they'll send you a screenshot i've done that a lot of times like whenever i would pick one of those airbnbs that I stayed at, I would make them do that. And in a couple cases, to get me there for a week, they would go upgrade their internet speed, which was awesome. That's a good strategy. I've checked into a few Airbnbs, and a lot of them don't want to rent for one night. Maybe it's not worth it to come clean and do all that nonsense for a single night. It's the COVID thing. It's the COVID thing.

It's the COVID thing. I bet because they've got to do like special cleaning. Um, because when I was going to a lot of Airbnb's, they didn't give a fuck. Like one night was fine, but I bet there's some COVID precautions that they've got to, they've got to do now.

I should give it another shot. Uh, I have a place picked up for Thursday, but like I said, to just judge how good the internet is by how nice the hotel is, it didn't work this time. So I need it to be good Thursday. It's frozen up once for like two seconds,

this entire show. Okay. I'm being hard on myself because I think that what I'm receiving is not as good as what I'm sending. So I'm in Guymon, Oklahoma. We have the greatest motorcycle mechanic here. I'm pretty excited about that. I had a fair amount of work to do. Like in advance,

I sent him new tires, inner tubes, rim strips, oil, oil filter, and an air filter. So that was setting up in advance. You know, a couple thousand miles in time for new tires and the nature of the trails are changing. So I wanted to get more aggressive tires at this part in the trip too. Cool. And then I looked in my chain and sprockets were worn out. And, you know, I'm not a motorcycle mechanic. I wish that I had replaced them at home. They would have lasted the whole trip easily.

But instead, I paid a motorcycle mechanic to look it over and make sure that I was ready for this trip. I'm never going to pay for that service again. I think I just got ripped off. So what happened is yesterday morning, I wrote him, was like, I need this to happen. And the dude called like Pennsylvania, Indiana, California, like all around the country, sourcing people who had it in stock and could get it here overnight, which he did. I paid $30 for shipping, which for a chain and the front and rear sprocket sourced from three different places is totally cheap for overnight. Like that's incredible.

And the bike will be done around dinnertime. So awesome. That's pretty cool that you, you know, I think that's something that I would, I guess you did so much research, but I never even considered that you'd have like a pit crew, like ahead of you waiting with like all these parts. And the fact that that shit wears out that quickly is pretty wild too, because obviously with a car, like there's no road trip that you take with a car where it's like we've made it to mississippi boys time for new oil like you could literally go around the world on car tires i think right like absolutely 40 000 miles yeah as long as you don't what is the world uh the world oh i did that i think i told you about it well if you could drive straight around the equator, it's 24,000 miles, roughly like 24, two or something. But, um, and it's that crazy loop de loop thing, but even it was 80,000 miles, like

a great, a good, a good set of tires ago, almost 80 getting bald at the end. But yeah, not motorcycle tires. Um, 8,000 would be really long for motorcycle tires. Uh, the ones that I bought, uh, that I'm putting on now will last about 2,000. And like more aggressive off-road tires don't last as long. So maybe somewhere in Idaho or, you know, as the mission changes again, I'll get new tires and set up a pit crew again. This is a little more expensive of a trip than I thought it was going to be. Because in my head, I was like, man, this is the cheapest adventure ever he's he's on a motorcycle those things cost

nothing to run obviously because now you have to change tires and oil every 15 miles and uh you know he's just he's staying mostly in like cheaper places and he's he's he's got the clothes on his back and everything in his bag like I know he's not eating out every night. He doesn't drink. He's probably making this whole trip for like $800. No. The most expensive part is the hotel by far. Sometimes they're $60.

Sometimes they're over $100. That's the biggest cost. Tires, I mean, i think the front and rear combined i don't know 350 something like that that's pretty and that's expensive that's uh that's on the high end you could do it for 160 but i didn't buy the cheapest tires i wanted yeah that's it's i wonder like because i've got to compare it to his car tires right and it's like you know like with high performance car tires they get ridiculously expensive? And it's like, you know, like with high-performance car tires, they get ridiculously expensive,

especially if it's some sort of low-profile thing. Like all of a sudden you're spending $400 or $500 on car tires, and then those guys that have those stupid, I got a small dick trucks, they're spending, you know, $600 a tire and shit like that. But I would have thought motorcycle tires would have been a little more. I'm just really shocked at how quickly they wear out. That's wild.

Yes. Yeah, they wear out. That's wild. Yes. Yeah. They wear out quick. So the, like I said, 2000 miles, it's because they're practically knobbies, you know,

and the, the edges stop getting sharp and they get angled at which point they don't grip and dig like you want them to. And look, I'm outside my expertise, but I've, I've done my research. And so I should get much

more performant tires for the next part of my trip i got a flat and a tire i told you guys about that right was that you might have but i don't remember that part i remember you telling us about obviously about going off the cliff and everything and dropping the bikes a couple times here and there maybe you remember that the guy watched us change it while his grandkid honked the horn at us and made me so frustrated. It's possible I was out of the room when that happened, but I hear you. It could be. But what happened was I'm not that experienced at changing motorcycle tires. It's a little harder than bicycle tires and use these tire levers to get it back over the bead, like to get the bead over the,

the rim. And I guess I over muscled it and I ripped the tire. Like it was one of those things where like, you're doing it harder. It's not working, but what are you going to do? You have to press it harder to get it on. You can't just press not as hard and have it not get on.

We have to get it on. And you know, redneck with his grandkid is like, you ain't going to hurt a on. We have to get it on. Redneck with his grandkid is like, you ain't going to hurt a tire. You can't hurt a tire. I'm like, all right. I have been working out for a few months, but here we go. I hurt a tire. This strong feller here just

ripped a tire with his bare hands. I'm a fucking attraction around there. That's about right. I'm a podunk of trauma. Have you had a chance to catch up on any? This is a new phrase for me. Oh, no.

Can you say that again? I was going to ask if you had watched Loki. That was going to be my question. Shocks. I'm so sorry. My internet's not good. But you were asking what? I heard that. If you've seen Loki. Oh, no.

Well, I've seen Loki. You just moved for me. I watched Loki the other night night i liked it a lot it's pretty fucking good um he's already dropped the spoilers thing down there i'm not gonna spoil anything um i thought i thought it was pretty fucking good uh i like i think tom hiddleston's the guy's name uh i thought he did a really good job i'm hoping maybe they get some more Marvel actors in there to do cameos. There's a little bit of a mystery in the show. You don't know who the bad guy is necessarily. Pretty cool. Looks like they're not

sparing with the budget either. I think it's got a chance to maybe be one of the better Marvel TV shows because I really didn't like WandaVision. I didn't love the Winter Soldier thing. It was just kind of passable, but I wasn't enthralled with it or anything. But this Loki thing, it's got some heart to it and cool special effects.

And I think Loki was always one of the best characters in Marvel. So I got high expectations for the show. You got me there? I saw the first episode. Oh, good. Yeah, intermittently. I saw the first episode of i intermittently i saw the first episode of loki also totally loved it uh i think like you he might just be one of the strongest actors in

the marvel universe you know i would put him there right next to um iron man who's tom down robert downey jr maybe yep and uh no no yep yep anyway i put up a i did get it i got lucky uh i would he's probably one of the strongest actors in the marvel universe and he's crushing it in loki as he does in every scene that he's in and uh it's i i like the balance between him being a literal god and very powerful and hard to kill and whatever and powerless and but he wants to maintain his dignity which seems to come from his special abilities while he

doesn't have them and it's been great I enjoyed the first episode yeah yeah I liked it a lot I like the fat black woman who we have to pretend is athletic she was so I like the, the fat black woman who we have to pretend is athletic. She was fun. Um,

I, I, uh, I liked the whole, I don't know, time cop sort of gimmick idea. Uh, that's not a part of the comics that I'm familiar with.

I'm familiar with a lot of the comic stuff, like the source material. I've watched a lot of like videos about it, but this is a whole new thing for me. Uh, most of these characters and most of this stuff is, of tangentially related to some of the stuff that I'm familiar with but I've never really read anything about this like I don't even remember the name of the organization that fucking I'm gonna call them the

time cops but uh yeah so far so good I'm just annoyed that like I saw a meme and it was like Disney Plus and Amazon we Oh, and it's the Kyle show. Did he drop? Probably. Well, with Amazon. Oh, and there it is. All right. It just cut out for me. My theory is that it's rush hour and everyone's in their car using their phones and the signal has gotten weaker. I don't have another theory.

That is Oklahoma for you. I tested this for the last two days. I don't know. I didn't come into this unprepared. I've been checking where to get the best bandwidth and stuff and what it will take. None of that testing seems relevant right now. I was just saying that I saw a meme

and it was like Disney Plus and Amazon Prime. We have to release our shows one day a week because we want people to talk about them and to keep talking about them. It's like Netflix is like the Chad. He's just like, here's the whole show. Do what you want. It's like, yeah. I prefer that more.

I wish I had already seen all of Loki right now. I wish they had just dropped it all and I would have spent a day and a half, two days watching the eight, ten episodes or whatever it's going to be. I'd be done with it. But I'm sitting here like, I've got two months of watching before we get anywhere. I hate watching week to week. Well, he does too. He doesn't like that. Yeah, if

you can hear me, Disney Plus has less content. I feel like they have to leak out their episodes once a week because they just don't have as much they need to make it stretch whereas disney's i'm sorry netflix is dropping new shows new like 10 show bundles every week there's something new yeah yeah and and it some of it is or at least in theory and

from their mindset i'm sure is it's trying to be quality over quantity because Netflix releases a lot of bullshit that really is garbage. But I don't know. I'm not in love with a lot of the Disney Plus content. It's really just some of this Marvel stuff that I like. I completely lost interest in that Star Wars animated show. And I remembered

those characters, the Bad Batch. But I got like four or five episodes in and there's like a child character in it that I'm supposed to care about and i just don't and after a while like the premise that each of these characters is like has like a thing like like oh this is the big strong stupid guy and this is the this is the robotic guy and this is the sneaky one. And this is the Rambo guy. It's like, okay. So they're all just completely one-dimensional and boring after three or four episodes. I just quit watching.

I'm not into that. And I don't know what they're going to do. I'd like to see their roadmap on Disney Plus for shows to come out. But all I really... I mean, I'm liking this Loki show. But it is really the only thing I've enjoyed from them. roadmap on Disney Plus for shows to come out. I'm liking this Loki show, but it is really the only thing I've enjoyed from them. It's not a cheap service. It's not like it's $8 a month or something. Disney's not? How much is it? Shit, I don't know what I paid. Probably $20? Maybe I did a year for I don't know what I paid. It was not cheap.

I want to say I have like Disney, Hulu and ESPN plus bundled into something for like 14 a month or 12 a month. But I could be wrong. I'm aware that that bundle exists, but I already had like this and that. And I was adding the third one and it was like, well, what do I do? Do I cancel the first two? And so I just have all three of them separately maybe when i move and i get everything like re-downloaded i'll i'll go through the effort of bundling everything but because i think i bought espn for like a year like i think i think i had done that and like i i don't know like which versions of each one you get because obviously

there's only one espn plus but there's like two or three hulus and i don't know how many disney pluses there are there's probably just the one because i doubt they run commercials but i can't stand commercials oh i know a little about this i if you can hear me the when you have the good hulu if you bundle the other two in, you keep it. If, like me, you didn't previously have Hulu, you get the worst Hulu. But there is a way to, like, bundle it and get your good Hulu. And I think, like, you're bumping into – it kind of sucks that it's, like, hard to figure out. Like, can you just combine it for me? How about I call the human who deals this and ask them to do it? That's just not how the world works anymore.

You need to find some hidden web page or service. I don't know. Yeah. But you can get the ad for Hulu. I'm on somebody else's Hulu. There's a savings. Yeah, there's a savings, right? I was always the one where it's like, yeah, I've got eight people on my Netflix.

I've got four people on my HBO. Actually, for a long time you and i were both on some guy's hbo who had like shared it so many times that when we wanted to watch gamer thrones it was a race to like click the button fast enough and it wasn't i eventually moved to joe lozans but joe must have either changed his password or his service because i don't get the benefit of stealing his stuff anymore. Yeah, I don't blame him because it's annoying when you're the guy paying for something and you

want to watch a show that's premiering and it's like, too many viewers, maximum viewers reached. Please try again later. It's like, what the fuck? I'm the one paying for this shit. So Game of Thrones would come out and I would tell my girlfriend, I'd be like, alright,

we've got to be sitting in the chair at least three minutes before this starts. We're going to be refreshing. Use two thumbs so that you can go back and forward over and over trying to be the first one in. It was even scary pausing that show because I was worried that somebody else

was going to overlap me or something. I don't even think Jill meant to give me his password. We were at a paintball event. Game of Thrones dropped. I think I had the better laptop for viewing it on. So he logged in and we watched Game of Thrones together in the hotel room. Cool. And then I didn't even know that I had his password until a few months later when I wanted

to go. And it was like, wait, what? Jay Lozon at AT&T Net or whatever it was. I don't know what it was exactly. But it was like, I clearly know who that is. And I was like, well, let's see if it works. And it did for years. Thanks, Joe.

Thanks, Joe. For the free HBO. Yeah Joe. It wasn't because I was cheap with the HBO thing. For a while, you just couldn't get HBO. Then they had HBO... What was it called? It was called HBO Go, I think, maybe. That was the one

we used. Now, is Max the good one? There was one before that, though. There's been four. It's super annoying. They can't figure out their branding at good oh there was one before that though there's been like four it's super annoying like they can't figure out their branding at all because there was one that that would not let you watch stuff as it debuted it was like the hbo library like all their movies and like their catalog of tv shows so if you want to watch the soprano sure it's right there but like game of thrones comes out tonight you're shit out of of luck There was that one and that was like all you could get in my like area with it because I didn't have cable wasn't an Option where I live like there was no cable service

There isn't one there's no cable there everybody where I grew up always had Satellite dishes or antennas and that was it. It's one of the other and And so I just couldn't get hbo uh without having that cable service so i just had to share it with i don't know five or six hundred other people on some poor guy's account do you like small towns no i i mean there's a little bit not really i i'm you know i i don't I don't like people enough to like appreciate the little folksy nature of it. And that's the nicest thing about small towns, I think, is that like you kind of know everybody.

And so if you've got some sort of a problem, you know, you know, the guy's name at the tire shop, or, you know, the mechanic's name, or, you know, know the the lady at the tax office's name or the courthouse's name if you need to get some paperwork done she's like oh gladys can you get my paperwork in yeah i guess i can get it in like that sort of thing can happen but it's just so much more convenient being in atlanta where like you're such a good people person i'm surprised that that aspect of small towns didn't like, I don't know, it didn't work for you because you're,

you're good at that, right? You did. It works, but it's just like, I just don't know that it's worth it. I just don't know if it's worth it to, to be okay from that,

like that trade off. Cause like just being in Atlanta right now, like, like there's so much to do. And, and you know, I, I,

my sleep schedule is almost always flipped so that I can be out and about at 2, 3, 4 in the morning. There's shit to do. There's always people out. When I leave my house at 1 in the morning or 2 in the morning, it's not deserted out there. It's hustling and bustling. There's shit going on. Stuff's open. Restaurants are still open.

There's places to go things to do and uh and i really like just how convenient everything is how close by everything is like like it's it's really nice whereas when i lived in franklin county it was just well it's eight o'clock everything's shut down could we get a pizza delivered? Oh, no. That's not even a thing here. Dude, so I don't have much experience with small towns. What I thought were small towns are not actually small towns until I'm on this trip.

These are very small towns. I mean, these towns maybe have two restaurants and one red light. Some of these towns are so small they don't have a motel, so I don't stay there. But I'm getting sort of familiar with what a really small town means. And when people said there's nothing to do, I always thought, well, you simply lack imagination. No, there's literally nothing to do. Nothing, nothing... If you go outside, there are no people.

There are no things. I don't know. Like 1920s games where you just kick rocks down the street or something. Maybe we can get a barrel hoop and... The barrel hoop where you got the stick and you're keeping it upright like chasing behind it. Yeah. There's nothing.

There's nothing offered. There's's nothing you can't do anything and uh sometimes i'll get into the hotel and i'll be lackadaisical about like like i enjoy the air conditioning i might just lay there for some period of time then take a shower and then it's like whoa 7 30 8 well let's make it 8.00 p.m. All the restaurants are closed. So that's it. I just missed it. For a 60-mile radius, there are no restaurants open. Well, that's rough.

My internet's probably too bad for this, huh? No, no, you're good. No, you're working on it. No, I know exactly what you're talking about, and it's fucking – it's nightmare. Like, like I've been in even, I've been into like, I wouldn't even call it a small town, remote areas. And in remote areas, like in like, I think it was called Brady, Texas. Like from where we were, it was 45 miles to a restaurant. Like it was 45 miles. So it was like, Hey, you guys want to go to dinner?

Yeah. All right. We got to leave right now because it's an hour that way. And there's going to be a lot of deer on the road. So we can't go fast. It's like the fucking wilderness out here. And like you would go and eat and then you would have to turn right back around and go 45 miles back the other way to drop everybody off. And then there wasn't a hotel in the town that had the barbecue restaurant.

So I had to just turn around and go like 30 miles in the opposite direction to get to my motel, and that was the motel that had the bloody washcloths in the bathroom. Someone had cut themselves and then blotted their face, their bloody face wounds with the washcloths, and then just

hung them back up, and then the staff had allowed them to be there. It was also the place where they didn't have any soap in the room, so I brought my own soap. And when the maid came in to clean up the bathroom, she took my soap. She took the soap that I had bought and put in the bathroom so there would be soap. So then the next day I had to take just a bath with no soap.

Like, you ever taken a bath with no soap before? It doesn't work. You just get wet. That's what rinse. It doesn't work. Zach said, I look amazing. I don't. I look old. Every wrinkle is bad.

I've been accused of using some sort of filter I don't have a filter it was just lighting it's yellow now I'm in front of a window but it uh the internet's not better which is what I was trying to fix you're trying to get close to like the internet source but I I see when I look at me right now I see every wrinkle i and i i thought i thought i looked better in the other lighting but uh it's whatever i don't know is there a spot in this place that doesn't like that has better internet i don't know well that's not the spot is it folks He found the spot with no internet Oh man Oh I don't mind this at all

This is fun this is what I've always dreamed of This is that hypothetical scenario Where both Taylor and Woody have terrible car crashes and I get to just come on here by myself. Maybe. I hope you're prepared to monologue, Kyle. Oh, that's what I was just talking about. I was like, I don't mind this at all.

This is a dream scenario for me. This is the future direction of the show. I have too many high-risk hobbies. You're going to see Kyle's monologues. When the cholesterol gets the better of Taylor and the adventure sports get the best of Woody, this is it. This is it.

It's just me here monologuing, talking to you about the TV shows that I watched this week and how high I got this week. That's the show. Four hours of that. Man, it's really struggling over there. Are you getting me at all? Yeah, I got you asking that. Interesting.

Okay. That's a step in the right direction, I suppose. I'm so sorry. This has been a fine internet. Well, my phone has been a fine internet connection. We checked in yesterday. And I couldn't have prepared anymore. And I've tried everything.

I've tried hardwiring to the wall to use hotel internet, hotel Wi-Fi, and my phone. I don't have any other ideas. I've tried setting up next to the window where I thought maybe the phone would work better. It's working right now. So that's a positive step. Yeah, it actually is working right now quite well. Oklahoma is gigantic. Dude, maybe I know who I'm talking to, right?

You're familiar with the country. I had never seen a 25-mile-long cattle farm before. And then you see that next to another 25-mile-long cattle farm. And then a third 25-mile-long cattle farm. farm and then a third 25 mile long cattle farm. And I am traveling on like gravel dirt roads, just hundreds of miles of cattle farm and some wheat farms. And it's the, because there's no hills or mountains around here, the sky is bigger, right? So, and they aren't seem, they aren't really familiar with two-story buildings here in Oklahoma. So there's just nothing to block the horizon. Everywhere you go is half your universe is sky.

I'm not familiar with in Raleigh. If you don't do anything to the land, 200 foot Oak tree sprout up. And it just means my whole universe, you know, you're kind of looking over the trees, over the buildings, over everything here.

The tallest thing around is a cow. And you see everything. I'm just driving. And it's like everything feels so big, immense, and desolate. And like cattle farms, you're gigantic, but you proved your point 75 miles ago. It just goes on and on and on and on. And like at first it was amazing. I was like, I can't believe this foreign land in the central time zone with, you know, giant skies and short buildings and numerous cows and it like it was just like

like enriching and i'm like man like i wish jackie was passenger here with me like like this is just cool and then you're like another hundred miles and you're like all right okay all right like that's that's enough and then 300 miles and it's like you've proved your point we're making great progress on this trip on the trans america trail they target 200 miles a day if you can go 200 miles in a day you've had a pretty successful that's like been a lot of off-roading um the youtubers i watch you've done it seem to be getting like 180 140 miles in a day we went 360 miles of dirt roads in Oklahoma, just fucking, I'm going 60 miles an hour on the edge of control, like Oklahoma, fucking enough. I have seen so much Oklahoma.

It's endless. It will never get anywhere. It feels like what I, I haven't ridden a motorcycle through Texas, but it's just it never stops. It's endless. It keeps going and going. Everything seems gigantic. Everything's so far away. Our next stop, we have to go 145 miles between fuel stops, which on my bike is a little tightish. You know, I should be fine, but my reserve light might be on.

So we're sort of planning that out and what we're going to do. But we're going to be in Colorado tomorrow. So we cut through the very last part of Oklahoma, through the corner of New Mexico, and into Colorado, where there should be some rocky mountains on the landscape. And things are about to change up. Colorado is the part of the trip, that and Utah, that i'm most excited about and it begins tomorrow yeah that's yeah that's got to be the most scenic part of the trip because um i'm like you whenever uh whenever i went through texas and the southwest for the first time i was really blown away at first because all those i love those western movies all that Clint Eastwood shit and so I was familiar with like I'd seen the

rock formations and movies and stuff but then when you get there and you actually see him like I'm just staring out the window for hours just looking out into the desert but then after like three days of that you're just like man they kind of really like that brown color palette here, huh? Not a big fan of green out here in the southwest, it would seem. After a while, you get real sick of it. It's as depressing to me as I think for some people like the rainy Seattle weather is. Like, I like the rain.

If it rained every day, I wouldn't mind. But if I had to live in that desert perpetually, I feel like I would just get real depressed because it's just, I hate it. I really hate it. I like it in small doses, but after being there for a week or 10 days, you're just sick and tired of not seeing a tree anymore. Your nose is just continuously dried out from that just desert air it's it's no fun that's it when i first got into oklahoma and the landscape started so we went through the ozarks which are in mississippi i guess missouri but i think we were in mississippi are part of it okay and um you know that's all trees and rivers and twisty hills and stuff like that. And then, you know, we come out of that into this broad, open landscape. And it was like, this is amazing.

And I'm blown away by just the, I don't know, like God's audacity to create something so big. And I'm loving it for a hundred miles. And then the next hundred, I liked it. And then the next hundred, I joined and then the next hundred i joined team kyle with like okay this is too much i i look i i liked it i liked it it was cool but it i i could see its charms but good god yeah in georgia like i don't think there's a place in georgia where i could drop you off and say, do your best. And you wouldn't be like, okay. And walk for like three hours and find civilization max, right? Like

you're never three hours walk away from like just an interstate highway or a gas station or like a community of people who would loan you a phone. Like out there in texas or in new mexico especially there's places where it's like man i hope we don't get hurt out here that'd be yeah we'd kind of be in trouble huh like yeah we have to have a helicopter come i'm like what are we gonna do send them a fucking smoke signal but the phone stopped working an hour ago like like like this is like one of those horror movies where they have to do that cliche where like, oh, no signal, huh? No, there is no signal out there. It's a nightmare.

It's legitimately scary when you're in New Mexico and you're doing dangerous shit. Like when we were out there filming, it was scary. My situation is a little safer than Chris's because here's the deal. I'm faster than him, so I tend to ride in the front. a little safer than Chris's because here's the deal. I'm faster than him. So I tend to ride in the front and he doesn't like to be right on my tail because I kick up dust and it prevents him from seeing the road very well. And it's just unpleasant. So I'm like more than a mile ahead of him so that he gets a nice clean view and air to breathe. Cool. If I fall, he is like, you know, what? Three minutes, five minutes from catching up to me most of the time, not more than 10. If he falls, I am like 15 minutes from noticing that like nothing and then turning around and looking for him. And it could happen he the day after our last recording it was muddy and rainy

he was going through a mud puddle but you couldn't see the bottom of it and it wasn't super big but it was say 10 feet long yeah so it was a thing to cross he fell and got trapped under his bike and uh just i was behind him which is unusual I was. And we had just turned around. And I'm like, are you hurt? It was the wrong question. The question I meant to ask was, do you need immediate help? But he lied and said yes, which was the right answer. Because I immediately stopped my bike and I had to lift his bike off of him so that he could get out from under it.

And he was thoroughly exhausted to like, you know, where you couldn't stand up. He was just leaning on his bike and he needed a minute. And there was a bit of conflict there. I'm like, Oh, Chris, go sit down. He's like, not now. I'm like, Chris, take, have a seat. I will free your bike. I will get it out of this mud hole. I'll take care of your problems for you. You go rest. And he's like, fuck Woody, I'll take care of your problems for you. You go rest. And he's like,

fuck Woody. Not now. Man's really suffering. He wants to stand here in 10 inches of water and to gain his breath. But okay. So, um, I guess maybe I'm not cut out for this motorcycle trip. I think what happened was he was exerting a lot of energy,

protecting himself from the fallen bike. like it was smushing him. And that's why he was so tuckered out. But anyway, it's in my head is like, you know, this isn't just make believe like this is literally already happened. This idea that someone would need the other one's help. And in Oklahoma, we're spaced out, but're almost done oklahoma you you need some kind of a like like system like like like i would want to be on like radio like like like system with you or something like that so obviously you know he could be like help help like what if you get into that i i don't know about a motorcycle but when i I'm driving a car across the country, I get that highway hypnosis and an hour will just pass.

It's like, holy shit. It was 8 p.m. Now it's 9 p.m. That made some good time there. It was like I wasn't even here. I was driving like a robot. What if you did that on the bike and you turned around and there's not even dust behind you? And you're just like shit where'd i lose

him at yeah i i so at the turns i'll text him and say are you okay and that happens say every 15 20 minutes so there's not too big a gap sometimes if at the turn i'll wait for him you know just get like a visual confirmation or at you know talk to him maybe we make a decision or something but um uh mostly i i know he likes to be i don't know how far you know a quarter mile behind me or something to get nice clean air and good visibility because it it's like 95 percent of a gravel road is easy no skill riding it. It's cool. And then every so often, either the gravel gets thick or it's sand. And that is like this high skill, like emergency, the bike's getting squirrely and you have to react properly. But if you think about it, like 5% is a lot.

You know, every minute you're hitting deep gravel or sand or something you know it's it's not an infrequent thing when we're talking about five percent of the time yeah so uh you could fall you could fall but we've been okay in oklahoma dude uh oh good i was thinking like like taylor and i are going to go on a much, much more pussy-fied version of this trip at some point as a joke. This sounds real hard. I just imagine him like, yeah, you want to go on a motorcycle trip?

Yeah, let's rent some scooters while we're here in Florida and go across town. All right, all right. We'll pump it up like it's as big as a trip. Invite me! Come on, why would you do that without me? Scooter riding through Tampa, Florida. Yeah, that sounds like a...

I'm jealous of your trip. I wish I could be on the trip. Honest, if I was free, I don't think I would enjoy it. I think this would be like a lot of the stuff that we've done where we start talking about it on the show and it's like, yeah, we'll do that. Hey, you think so? You think we can do it? Oh, we can do that. We can do that easy.

And then the next thing I know, I have a $3,000 motorcycle that I can barely ride and I'm a quarter mile behind you eating dust. Like, I can't do this. This was a mistake. I guarantee I would be on the trip if I were free and I'd be hating talked about the three kinds of fun hating it the three kinds of fun i think so but i want to hear it again okay so type one fun is fun in the moment it's it's a roller coaster it can be deep and awesome i have said this already but i like it sometimes it's just like the sugar of fun you You know, like the best meal you've ever had has not been a Snickers or Smarties or whatever.

Type one fun is fun in the moment. Type three fun is just not fun. It's not fun now. It's not, it was never good. It's just bad. It's unfun. Type two fun is that thing that kind of sucks when you did it.

That time you got caught in the rain, that time that you got a flat tire at night. But when you recount it, when you recollect what happened, sometimes that's the best. Sometimes those are the moments where you're like, that was fucking awesome. We were scared at that moment, but dude, that was incredible. That was an experience that I hang on to. There's been quite a bit of type two fun on this trip. The flat tire

with that asshole's grandkid honking the horn at me. I'm already looking back at that. Like, yeah, that was cool. That's cool. Muscling my broken tire back onto the rim, riding with the rear auto balance bouncing, you know, for a hundred miles as we, as I'm trying to source a replacement in these small towns in Arkansas. Like, it was rough at the moment, but I'm already like, dude, that was kind of cool, you know? And Chris is so – my rear tire is not really an off-road tire. And between that one and the one that was broken with the ripped bead that bounced, it's been slowing me down, and Chris is loving that.

He's like, now that you have more performant tires, this trip's going to get harder for me. But for the last couple days, he's liked my handicap. Yeah, you're going to start randomly getting flat tires. Just tacks are going to start showing up in your tires every morning when you wake up. Oh, shit, again? Dang. Rough break.

Yeah. We're both getting so much better. Oh, go on. I was just going to say, I think if I were free, I'd have talked myself into going on this trip, and I would be fucking hating it right now. I was going to ask if you're sore, because to me, it just seems like being on the motorcycle for that long period of time, especially on those bumpy roads where it's not just a nice smooth glide. Like it seems like you're tensed up a lot, like you'd be sore. I've gone to bed tuckered out a couple of times, just like worn out and even concerned for tomorrow. But I wake up like I'm 19. I don't know. Maybe it's

because I got fitter in the months leading into this. Maybe that's helped a little bit. But I haven't been too sore. Also, the CPAP machine is good. I get good night's sleep all the time. I think staying in hotels and motels is a bit of a cheat code. If I was sleeping in a tent every night, getting sort of shitty sleep and the work of setting up and breaking down a campsite, cooking your own meals, stuff like that is a lot. But when you can just hit up a restaurant and sleep in a bed with all your stuff, it makes the next day a fresher start. How's he doing? Is he getting sore? That's been really nice. Is he complaining of being sore or worn out or anything? Does he have any physical

problems? It's not too bad. We talked today and he said that when we stayed here for two days, we took a rest day. We arrived yesterday and today is our rest day. He's like, so when we stayed here for two days, we took a rest day, right? So we arrived yesterday and today is our rest day. And he's like, you know, I didn't really need a rest day. And then when we talked today, he's like, you know, I thought I didn't need a rest day, but it was a good thing I had a rest day. So that'll help you gauge, you know, he's not dying or anything, but

now that he's enjoying this rest day, he's like, this was good for me. You know, he'll, he'll be at a hundred percent tomorrow. So yeah. So that's what's up. So there was that question that when you, before you started the trip as to whether you were going to get there and then ship the bikes back or get there and be like, well, we're here. And then do that Forrest Gump maneuver and just turn around and go back. Where are you right now? Forrest Gump. We're definitely planning on.

So they've changed the Transamerica Trail for the 1% of you who maybe knew the old one. It used to just go straight to Oregon. Now it's kind of a U-shape. It goes from North Carolina across Arkansas, Mississippi, not in that order. The lower left corner is like New Mexico, Colorado. The upper left corner is Idaho. And then it goes across South Dakota and to Wisconsin by the Great Lakes and stops there. So we're planning on taking it all the way to Wisconsin.

Chris has family vacationing in Michigan and I think he wants to just ride his bike and visit his family and we'll kind of split there and I'll take roads back to North Carolina and that'll be that. Yikes. So yeah, we're, we have every intention of doing the whole

extended new version of the Transamerica Trail and taking it to the great lakes jesus christ is this going to be a yearly adventure for you right you think this is going to be like uh transamerica trail 2021 22 23 like you start putting badges on your shirt you know for every year you've done it do they make a patch so they make patches for this you know, for every year you've done it. Do they make a patch?

Do they make patches for this? I got to, there's a, every so often you hit like this country shop that says like Transamerica Trail, stop here. And I hit one and they gave me these red Nekistan stickers, but I don't know if there are patches. Jackie said, never again, that I am not to leave the family for this long anymore.

But I was writing, I'm like, maybe this is like pregnancy, right? Where every woman who has a baby says, that is it. I'm not doing it again. And then like, you know, nine, 12 months later, they're like, let's do it again. Maybe it'll be one of those. I'm not sure. And I'm not sure if I do this. Or next time.

Jackie's on the back. Jackie's on the back of the motorcycle. She's on the motorcycle. She's this is me. This is this is me miming Jackie hanging on to you as we go down the dirt roads. And I pitched that to her last night. This is me miming Jackie hanging on to you as we go down the dirt roads. And sidecar for college. I pitched that to her last night. There was – maybe it was the night before.

In any case, I'm driving through this, like, majestic, gigantic Oklahoma, right? And it's just the sky is so big and there's a – the sunset was awesome and bigger. I can't express how much the extra 25% of sky makes a difference. The fact that the horizon goes all the way to cow level is huge instead of a tree level up higher or mountain level for some people. And I don't know, I'm just driving. I was like, I wish Jackie was here to see this. Like this is soul enriching.

It's amazing. And I told her on the phone, I'm like, Jackie, man, here to see this. This is soul enriching. It's amazing. And I told her on the phone, I'm like, Jackie, man, it doesn't have to be off road, right? We could just take roads and check out the country and make it happen. And she's like, oh, Woody, I wouldn't like that. And I'm like, but you would, you would. You just got to try it. You just, come on. But I don't know. we'll see life is long but you know that was her has she ever gone up in the paramotor with you no she's not interested in that's too many eggs in one basket scenario isn't it yeah yeah she would say that she would say too many eggs in one basket she doesn't want to risk

both of us dropping out of the sky. But she used a motorcycle with me all the time, even after we were married, which is telling. I have this theory that young unmarried women morph who they are to become your perfect mate. Oh, yeah, the Yankees. I'm big into the Yankees. I really like it you know derrick jeter and uh strawberry like yeah i'm totally all about the yankees that's like 19 i did that on purpose but yeah it was the it was the uh the mets too but

anyway um but uh, also too old. Anyway, so the girls will do that. But Jackie post-marriage was suiting up in her skid-proof gear and riding around on the Ducati with me. But I don't know. So maybe she'd be into it. Maybe not. I don't know. But I just feel like, I don't know.

Get a big comfy bike. It'll be cool. You'll like it. I don't know, but I just feel like, I don't know, get a big comfy bike. It'll be cool. You'll like it. I don't know. We'll see. I saw it. I was looking at it. To do it again.

I was looking at motorcycles just a night or two ago, and I saw this Indian chief that had the biggest backseat I've ever seen. It had like armrests and like head support and like a cup holder. And it was just like, what the fuck? It's not even a motorcycle anymore. You've got a cup holder and it was just like what the fuck it's not even a motorcycle anymore you've got a chariot it was ridiculous the the back seat on that thing yeah there are a couple motorcycles in that class and then like you said it's a it's a comforter like literally with armrests and like a like a good movie theater seat or something and they have of course the seats can be heated.

And I think they have air conditioning. I'm not positive, but like they blow cold air on you, I think. I know they have radios that play out loud. And the windshields protect you like a convertible almost. It's not no wind, but it's a different environment than I have. So yeah. But Blake's been doing well. I've been doing well, Chris, Chris and I, so we've been honest about our skill level, right?

You haven't heard me say I'm like some, I'm always the slowest in my group rides, whatever, dude, we have gotten better. We're passing other people on the tat. We, we pat, we pass these three guys. Chris calls them Larry Moe and Curly. He didn't like he didn't like them but uh we're passing another rider we haven't been passed by anyone and uh we're just way faster and better than we were whatever it was two weeks ago i have a theory so i think that low um mo larry and curly have done this five times. And they're like watching you guys zip by. And they're like, Oh, don't worry. We'll catch up to them.

They'll be in that big pile of record. I've seen this before. It could be. They had like, they had some shitty gear. I thought like it, we, I have a full face helmet,

which is just absolutely the right way to go. Not only is it safer in so many different ways, and they have studies, it's easy to tell which part of your helmet impacted. So they can tell you where you're most likely to hit. And the answer is your chin and your face. Those are the things that hit the ground most often. And their helmets don't even have a chin or a face. Mine does. Oh, I can see yours. You've got the full.

So they've just got like that helmet you put on when you go in like rock climbing or something. It's like a football helmet without the chin support. Yeah, yeah. And the front is a plastic that flips up, but it doesn't do much in terms of protection. Yeah, that's no good. You wouldn't wear that in Tarkov. That's that piece of shit helmet in tarkov that's no don't even pick that up don't even pick that up that's not gonna help you do anything yeah um so judging by their gear i didn't interpret them to be like you know the superior riders and also they were struggling they used um roll maps i've never used a roll map but because of

this trip i've had to learn what it is um imagine like turn by turn directions on a scroll that you just like do the wheel and then you're like all right 0.9 miles we go to the next one and then you turn the little wheel and you go to the next part of the map so there's a little window that you're watching like a scroll. I'm imagining it. I'm just shocked that it exists. So that's how they're navigating this thing.

By scroll. They set their little trip meter every time they make a turn and then the next turn comes up in like 2.7 miles and then they scroll. We're using GPSs and just cranking around. I was going to say like, so what, GPS doesn't work?

Why do you have to navigate like a fucking Roman? That's crazy. So cell phones don't always work. You can't trust cell phone for backcountry navigation. You say for sure. It wasn't obvious to me until I started looking into it. I'm like, why don't people use cell phones? They're great here in Raleigh. But on a trip like this,

a GPS actually works well. So that's cool. And it's all loaded too. So if you need gas and you don't have a signal, you can ask it to find the closest gas station where your phone can't do that. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I've, I've done that enough times where it's just like, there's definitely places in the country where they had those signs last gas for 180 miles and stuff like that. Or, you know, those times when the radio stops working, there's a lot of people who live in cities or maybe they live like not in the U S they don't know that radios stop working in your cars at some points. There are places where there are

no radio stations. Now I guess a lot of people like listen to like satellite radio now or like just put on a you know a media player in their car. MP3. Yeah. There's places in like Idaho for example where like you would press scan and it would just keep making loops.

It would just keep making loops through all the channels because there weren't any. If you're an East Coast person, you don't even know that exists. There's always, I mean, if there's only five or ten stations, that's weird, right? There's typically too many to count. Well, I probably could count them. But anyway, yeah, there's typically a ton of choices and like on the east coast everybody owns the land right there isn't this like ginormous spans of government owned what is it blm the earth land management land and um you know so it's just

it's all tight everyone's owning it it's their property like that there's just not wide open unused areas out west it's it's huge there's the out in uh out in the southwest they would just randomly on the side of the road be like a shooting range like like an impromptu shooting range where people had just set up targets off the road and i mean just right off the road and and like don't imagine that there's a building or anything. There's just a bunch of targets out there. And this is clearly where people just stop and shoot. And we were just like, don't mind if I do. You know, we got guns and ammo. We pull over and we start shooting the targets

because like, that's what it's for. And you can see it's farther than the gun will shoot you know in the distance behind it so you know it's safe to shoot it's like and it wasn't like we saw that once or twice like i don't remember if it was texas or new mexico but like they would just be there it was clearly someone's just it was like when you go through the smoky mountains and they had those scenic overlooks oh yeah pull over here this is where you stop to see the leaves change colors so yeah pull over here this is where you shoot cans yeah you see all the cans out there bottles too yeah let's get out i want to see that i haven't i haven't seen that yet i feel like we're not in a populated enough area to see that

yeah cows don't have guns when you said it beta o'rourke might run for governor of texas i know politics and it's like him in that yes i'm coming for your ar-15 thing you ended your political career in texas just stop yeah i saw the dems put a uh a uh thing out today um to propose a proposal to legalize most drugs on a federal, no, not legalize decriminalize most drugs on a federal level, cocaine, heroin, and marijuana.

I saw Ron Paul talk about that. Not Rand, but his dad, Ron a while ago. And people were like legalized heroin. Whoa, that's crazy. And he goes, really, are you going to start taking heroin if I make it legal? And everyone's like, no.

So what's the problem? We're really just not putting drug users in jail. And when I looked at it through that lens, I'm like, maybe. On the other hand, say what you will. It'll be hard to convince me that making it legal doesn't increase usage, period. We're seeing it with Delta 8 right now. Now, I know Delta 8 is not hazardous like heroin is, but I'm just not sold on legal heroin yet. Yeah. I don't think I'd try.

The reason I wouldn't try heroin, though, is because I'd be afraid I'm not getting good heroin. Like, if you had some good heroin... Well, if it's legal, you would. I'll say this. If they made morphine legal, and they were like, yeah, yeah, just take a little shot of morphine.

You'll love it. I don't know. Won't I get in trouble? No. Literally none at all. How much is it? Is it really expensive? Oh, it's the cheapest thing you can imagine. Less than a pack of Skittles. Alright then. I think I'll

try a little morphine. The idea of my experience with heroin literally comes from the movies. I've seen people do cocaine in the fucking $50 Discord like we were playing our magic tournament the other night and um i lost in the second round or third round or something like that and the guy that beat me did a celebratory bump of cocaine he starts doing cocaine right then and i'm just like who are you you're new here right he's like yeah yeah i'm

actually just here for the magic tourney i don't even know who the fuck you guys are you you're the kyle guy right like like the russian with the guns like yeah yeah he's like ah cool cool yeah they told me about you yeah yeah our patreon has expanded beyond the show somehow yeah yeah between him and dirty these guys don't even yeah it's because um you know we do so many activities in there like like like we really do have a pretty crazy community there'll be there'll be 25 people in the chat almost every night just like playing games and like shooting the shit and like doing all sorts of different activities so like they've got a big poker game going, and all of a sudden, the guys that play poker tell their friends,

if you want a poker game, I play in a pretty big poker game three nights a week. Really? What website? It's actually not a website. This podcast has a private Discord you can go to. People come just to play poker who don't watch the show, and now there's a couple guys who have come who don't watch the show, and now there's a couple guys who have come who don't watch the

show at all, but they really wanted to play in some Magic tournaments. Another Magic tournament Saturday. If you want to get the bracket going, just message Antagonist, or you can message me. We'll figure the bracket out. I think we had 16 players, maybe?

I don't know. I didn't really pay too much attention to it. Like I said, I lost in the second or third round. Got my ass whooped. But it was fine. Oh, I was hoping Woody was still with us. Am I with you now? I heard you say that.

I heard you say there was another Magic tournament. Did I get that right? Yeah, Saturday. I think we're just going to do them on Saturdays. Get in there and sign up. I had so many people message me Sunday and Monday and even today like, hey, how do I get in on this Magic tournament? We did it Saturday. That's what I said.

I think we're going to do them on Saturdays. It's free. That's neat. Just bragging rights. I've been dropping by now. Dropping by now and then, huh? Oh, into the Discord, I guess he was going to say. Yeah, we have a good time in there. The poker game is really fun, but there's a bunch of guys that play League,

which I hate even fucking watching. You back? Yeah. I've been dropping by the Discord now and then. I was i was in i think belmont arkansas something like that and uh the hotel was this like old historic thing it looked like a haunted house and i was like i should drop in the discord and show this to everybody and uh maybe i'll drop by tonight too i think about it more often than I do it. Yeah. I jump in there every night. Yeah. Should we call it a wrap?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I'm going to make some dinner or something like that. Cool show this week. Obviously, you listeners noticed that Taylor wasn't here. He's off doing his real life stuff. Leave it at that. Okay. But's off doing his real-life stuff. Leave it at that.

We'll have a double guest this week. I think you'll like it. I think you guys will like both the guests. Good show. Be ready to watch when it comes out Thursday night. Good deal. PKN 356.