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PKN 360. What's up, boys?
Here we go. How's everyone doing?
Woody's back.
It's been a long time.
It seems like, I know it was just Thursday, but I feel like a long time has passed.
Oh, it was Wednesday.
A little extra. Okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
It felt a little longer.
It did, yeah.
There's like a pacing to how often we do these shows, and it got kicked off by one.
It does get weird.
Like, we'll do one where it's like, okay, we have to do pkn on monday pk on tuesday and i'll
be like i feel like i've been talking to you guys for three days and then other times we'll be like
okay we'll do pka on wednesday and then the next pkn will be wednesday and it's like man
do we still do the show like i'll get to that point it is weird you get trained like a like a
dog 95 of the time we do it tuesdays and and Thursdays like clockwork for people listening.
And I guess Taylor had a party.
I think that like slid it by one.
And,
and then like a month ago,
Taylor had a wedding,
I guess that we wouldn't say what it was at the time.
We would keep your private life private,
but,
and then that, it worked out great for me because I got to go like eight days yeah you know motorcycle ride a trip yeah yeah i was like
what is going on trip you know what i'm going on a trip too i went somewhere i'd rather not say
where but i went somewhere with permission good i'm excited i do want to know yeah i'll tell you
later so the reason uh and it comes into this background. So I like went to my brother's bachelor party and it was in Florida and in Miami.
And, you know, he had said at one point, he's like one of the on Saturday, one of the, you know, the last day of it, that late morning, early afternoon, we're going to go out on a boat and fish in the sea.
and fish in the sea and apparently he was absolutely hoodwinked by this boat captain because he was like yeah we're gonna have our own space we're gonna and nobody else is gonna be
there and there's like fucking 20 you know rowdy guys getting on oh this is the last day so like
a lot of people calm down a bit but immediately you see like other families on this boat it's like
lot of people to calm down a bit but immediately you see like other families on this boat it's like their day just got ruined like just just like it's like that's got to be an 11 year old like
oh thank god most of them are on the other side of the boat and but my main concern is like
all morning like i had i i tried to take a shit at the little uh you know condos we were renting
but because we were on a trip we were eating so much late at night. I think I ate pizza every single night.
I ate on top of other meals.
I ate some seafood and everything.
And so my big concern was like,
I don't really get, I don't get seasick.
So I wasn't worried about that.
And I was like,
I really don't want to have to take a shit on the boat.
But based on what my brother's saying,
it seems like it's going to be a nice boat.
So if I have to shit, that's okay.
Immediately, immediately I get on the boat and I'm like, you cannot allow yourself to shit here.
It's too dangerous.
Like it's the water is unbelievably choppy.
Like a whole, there was this one woman like right when we got on, I was talking to friends at the front of the boat.
The bow is what we call that in the industry.
And she like asked me like hey uh can
you do you have a bottle opener for this bot and i was i had like hey you know joe can you help her
out and she's like oh yeah i've never done this i'm looking forward to it and her like boyfriend
was there all tatted up and was like we're really looking forward to it's gonna be fun
i've never taken her fishing and three minutes into the trip she is actively vomiting in the cab and like uh
did you happen to mention to her like yeah we didn't know you guys were gonna be here
that's what we should i was like like bro like you said this is on our own boat and he was like
it was supposed to be on our own boat that's what the guy said and i was like it was just
bullshit we're gonna have to make a stink about this but there's nothing else to do
so uh our group we go out there and we we sit in the same spot on this big boat.
There are 30 to 40 lines in the water between us and other parties.
Not one fish for 90 minutes to the point that like people were walking up to this captain who seemed drunk and being like, we can we please move places like this isn't working out like this is
you're a fishing boat later i'm a fish i'm like duh this is obviously trouble this is a trap this
is a trap 40 lines in the water this can't be real and like and i'll like walk up and down this very
narrow corridor like say because you know it's not like you're in a you know big round table
able to talk to all your friends you have to like walk and like talk to people almost one on one or
one on two and everything because it's so narrow and like as i'm walking
up and down i can like see like the other groups of people and slowly they're dissolving into
vomiting in the middle cab here and i realized because i didn't you know how ships are where
you can walk through the outside or you can go through that middle cabin and apparently these
people like uh i'm so glad i don't get motion sickness that looked awful
but like i walked instead of staying on the outer ring i walked through the inner cab area at one
point to get to the bathroom and i'm like oh my god what are you guys doing in here like this is
so much worse this is so much more discombobulating you can't see the water and at least if you're on
that outside you're like okay i'm anticipating a wave i know why i'm moving okay and i'm coming back you got
hint or at least sympathy for motion sickness for sure inside okay oh yeah it was brutal we only had
one person in our party party vomit but out of nowhere he just started yakking for like 10
minutes but uh at one point like i'm sitting there having a great time talking to everyone
and i just get like a and i was like oh we're an hour and a half in,
this is going to be four and a half hours.
And I'm like,
this is,
I can hold this.
And then like maybe 10 minutes later,
it's like,
you cannot.
And so I start making my way down there and I don't know what I thought I
imagined the boat bathroom would be like,
but it,
this is generous.
That's not even bad.
That's typical of the hotel rooms I rent.
This is twice the size of the bathroom I was in.
And it was a thousand degrees.
You couldn't stand up in it.
They didn't have soap.
And I remember having what may rank as the worst shit,
the least comfortable shit of my life.
Genuinely nothing to do with the consistency
of the shit or the quality that was all fine it was the fact that you closed that door
and suddenly you're in a coffin trying to shit i'm looking down at my swimsuit i'm dripping
into my just so much is dripping you're oh it is so humid and so hot in there yeah it's july
in miami someone else is gonna have to sit their head in that toilet right after to vomit oh yeah oh yeah and i'll tell you but then uh i i i i feel i'm
feeling sick and i'm like i i kind of get motion sickness now i finish up i get out i i i go back
and i i was fine but speaking of the vomit thing this guy this was earlier in the in the the day before the the shit but he came up
and like he humiliated this poor woman this woman the first one to vomit maybe four minutes into the
trip like goes to the bathroom and vomits into the toilet because that's what she thinks she's
supposed to do and this guy like like he's announcing her embarrassment is like walking
around going that lady back there just vomited in the toilet and now i'm gonna have
to fix it if you need to vomit where do we do it everyone over the side and it was like you act like
we had a video we all watched before this like you you walked out drunk and then started the boat
like before you even said we were departing wait pause the captain was drunk i'm almost positive
he was walking around like a weirdo and everything that's bad okay yeah but then anyway the rest of
it went off mostly without a hitch uh other than like no fish whatsoever i was gonna say we get
back and not a single person not even my brother none of us had like the sunk cost fallacy like
as we're like of like oh it was kind of fun you know a bad experience but it was. None of us had like the sunk cost fallacy. Like as we're like, I was like, Oh, it was kind of fun,
you know,
a bad experience,
but it was like all of us were like,
no,
it was a total waste of time.
That was horrible.
Are you willing to say where you were?
Miami.
Or I don't know where off Miami.
Yeah.
But somewhere near there.
I don't know.
How far did you go offshore?
Like in hours?
Not that far.
Like we,
like that was the,
another shocking thing is like,
we could still like you
still see the shore like oh you can see that's so good this is no scam so hard oh and i i guarantee
like it was it was i don't know if it's the difference between the outer banks of north
people don't know north carolina has this i call them sandbars but they're big there's houses and
stuff on it called the outer banks and when we from there, it was maybe like two and a half, three and a half hours out to sea before we started fishing.
Yeah, it was like a total bullshit masquerade, like not even real fishing.
Then like a buddy of ours caught like a couple fish and was like, well, the place we are staying at is a pool and a grill we can use.
And we have all that space.
I kind of want to cook. He's like, he loves and so he's like i know we're not it's not enough
for dinner but i'd like to try it out this fucking bastard of a drunk captain took maybe 45 minutes
to to clean three small fish because he kept like talking to friends he met along the pier to the
point that i'm like dude zach can we all just go? I'll buy you fish at the market. I guarantee that they
have the same. No, Taylor, we paid $910
for this.
This is the Waiku beef
of fish. That's the most expensive
fish filet you'll ever
have in your life. We are eating it.
Oh, yeah. And I didn't
hear this, but we were going
back later, and another friend of mine,
I was like, what a bullshit trip. What an asshole captain.
He didn't move us around. He's like, yeah, the dude
was pretty drunk, and by the end, as I was leaving,
I complained to him, and the guy's like,
I'll be honest with you, this was the worst
outing I've ever had.
And I've been
doing this for 12 years.
I like his honesty.
He's going to be over. I'm coming back.
That's big.
Now I'm thinking, maybe he doesn't own it. He's winning me over. I'm coming back. That's big. Yeah, that's big.
Now I'm thinking like maybe he doesn't own it.
He's just the captain.
And maybe they shorted him on fuel or something.
Maybe like, no, you get 25 gallons of fuel.
Make it work.
And maybe he liked to go out three hours out and everybody gets a fucking whatchamacallit fish or whatever the hell. Dolphin, tuna, marlin, whatever. I would have liked that whatever i would have liked dolphin real man if i hook a dolphin i'm gonna cry my way home um
you won't kill it there's a fish called a dolphin fish it's also called a mahi mahi of course yeah
but if i catch like a bottlenose dolphin there's like there's yeah yeah a flipper is literally
getting reeled in and like i can just see the captain like before i can be like oh quick let's
let it go the captain like swings one of those poles with a hook on it and like don't
worry he's not going away and now you're going to jail i don't know how to say everybody grab a club
i don't know i guess you say dolphin fish you do have to disambiguate it no you're right the
dolphin mammal but anyway yeah yeah it's a fish not a a marine mammal. But yeah, that sounds wretched.
That sounds wretched.
Awful.
So obnoxious.
The rest of the trip was so much fun,
but that like, oh, just brutal.
So this was part of the...
Part of the trip, yeah.
It was just an activity he organized
or someone organized on his behalf.
I don't think he did actually
because he's not supposed to.
But yeah,
it was pretty rough.
Never want to do that again.
Or I want to do the real thing if I'm going to do it again.
Cause it was like,
it was the choppiest waters I've ever been on where like there were times,
like I didn't,
I know this is probably not like boat etiquette,
but I was like thinking on the bow of the ship.
I'm like,
if I timed a jump,
how high could I go pretty high i'd probably go
up and then what like crash into the the incoming ladder i won't retell the whole story of my boat
sickness and near fight but i had that same thought like because i'm way sick i'm one of
those guys in the middle right but uh in our case the boat was air conditioned in the middle so
there was a little better case to like battle your seasickness there just looking at the ceiling laying on a couch
and i thought to myself if i just jumped out into the sea of fish hooks and lines and stuff
would my seasickness just insta-cure i think it might i think the second i splash into the ocean
that i'm like that's what i needed the sharks are attracted to
the vomit woody it's been chum wait i don't know what the proper response is to motion sickness
but i guarantee it's not what this one lady did i walked by which is to curl up seated on the inner
area that's not air conditioned with a blanket over her head that's kind of like like
you know when you're like if you're so drunk that you have the spins that's like i'm just gonna
close my eyes through this it's like no you're not if you're so drunk you have the spins and
your response is to put your forehead on a baseball bat and turn around i just have to
spin the other way for anyone out there whoever does get the spins and you're trying to go to
sleep drunk you lie in bed and you put one foot flat on the floor. One foot out of bed flat on the floor
fixes it right away. Really? Yeah. Last time, there's that picture of me lying on Kitty's deck,
hand on face palming and putting my foot on the deck. It was like, oh, okay, we're stabilized now.
The spins just kind of stop. That makes sense in my head i never thought about that yeah i don't i don't get that wasted often
maybe especially not anymore but um that's the fix i told go ahead when i got seasick what they
want you to do is stand on there and focus on the horizon and you know then everything like you can
see it in the same way that sitting in the passenger seat in a car and looking where you're going is so much better than say reading a book
standing out there and seeing why the boat's moving is good the trouble is when you're really
seasick it it's not the like natural instinct to like you know stand upright face the ocean
and watch everything move your your natural instinct is to hide from it.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
I've been seeing an enormous amount of motorcycle discussion and planning
and also a very disappointing turn where it seems like he ran into a couple of hucksters.
Can you lay out the hucksterism?
I wish you could break it down.
I'll start from the very beginning.
So I went, what day was it?
So my motorcycle training course was this past weekend.
I got that done Saturday and Sunday.
So on Thursday, I went and bought like helmet and gloves and boots and all that stuff.
Did you get a discount on that stuff?
Yeah, I got 17%, 17.5% off. He said 15 and I was like, come on, you do better than that. He's Yeah, I got 17.5% off.
He said 15, and I was like, come on, you do better than that.
He was like, I don't do 70% off.
Good.
All right.
So yeah, I got a good bit of gear, and I think I was out the door for less than 700 for helmet,
boots, and gloves, and a jacket, a pretty good jacket.
I don't think it's the jacket I would wear on a long trip but for like tooling around town at like normal speeds like below like interstate
speeds i think it's fine it's like a mesh thing with like padding in the shoulders and elbows and
shit um anyway so i went to the class on saturday there's eight of us in this class um two of them
were these puerto rican brothers who like their english was a little like shaky and they had never used a clutch before.
Forget a motorcycle, like never used a clutch before.
Like that's the first question he asked.
He's like, has everyone ridden a bicycle before?
No.
Everybody's hands up.
Who's ridden a motorcycle before?
Two hands go up.
Who?
Was yours someone?
Yeah, you've ridden one.
I didn't raise my hand because it's like.
You don't want to get called on.
Yeah, don't get carried away.
Don't be thinking too much over here.
We got a wise guy in today's class.
Kyle, why don't you lead the class?
You're a writer.
Tell everybody the do's and don'ts
of taking a turn.
I'll start you off by calling the 37
37 B's of driving. Slow look, press and roll. Anyway, yeah, so you Press and roll, you know. 37 B's of driving.
Slow look, press and roll.
Anyway.
Yeah, so you had so.
Right, you did.
Carry on.
And finally, the clutch question came up.
And like three or four of them had never operated a clutch before, including the two Puerto Ricans.
And the instructor was awesome.
I'm not trying to take anything away from him.
And I think he was genuinely trying to be like a good guy.
But every time he would instruct us something genuinely trying to be like a good guy but
every time he would instruct us something he'd be like juan pablo y'all hear me y'all following
like like like almost like they were like slow-witted or something like hey juan and pablo
you paying attention here you catching all this and for all i know they were like lazily like
looking at butterflies or something and i couldn't tell because they got helmets but
it seemed weird that he was like singling them out that much but they don't speak english
so it makes they spoke english it was just like oh just bad i speak 100 english we all do here
right maybe 105 you know you reneg and but but these guys um that's a word these guys spoke
like 97 english let's just say that like every now and then you'd be like ah you weren't all
the way there that's an a plus and we've got to do that thing where like, and like in high school where each person
reads a page out of the book. Right. And that's when you really see who's who. Cause like,
not to pat myself on the shoulder here, but I can read aloud. And the guy sitting across from me,
like reminded me of like Woody. He's like about Woody's age. He's an engineer who like runs like
building sites in Atlanta.
He's some sort of a software architect
before that.
He does something with
the internet infrastructure
that's going in these buildings.
Sounds like a man who can read aloud.
A man can fucking read aloud.
I've never seen note-taking like this.
He took notes
like it was the calculus final the next day.
And I'm like, dude, this is 25 multiple choice questions.
And he, let's be real, he's giving us the answers.
All the stuff we highlighted, those are the answers.
Wink, wink, nod, nod.
When you're breaking behind a semi, how many feet?
What do you think?
What do you see when you're behind a semi?
What do you see when you're behind a semi?
You want to be careful.
You don't see aardvarks or bumblebees.
It was kind of like that.
I missed one question.
And frankly, I think it went over on the second day when I was so tired and out of it that I was just not even paying attention anymore.
I can't be the only one wondering.
Do you remember what you got wrong?
Yeah, it was when you have a passenger on your motorcycle, you should do blank.
And one of the possible answers was communicate with them whenever you're going
to do a thing.
Let them know that you're going to turn or stop
or something. I thought that was the answer, but
apparently the correct answer was to adjust the tire
pressure and suspension.
It seems like you should let them know what's up.
I thought so,
but I was wrong. It doesn't matter if you make a
70 or a 96. It's a driver's test.
Anyway,
this class is $425.
We're riding all day.
Five, six hours of actual on-motorcycle
time the first day in the hot-ass sun
sweating my ass off.
Drenched. Three hours in the books.
Day two comes around.
Three of the guys don't show the fuck back up
including the two.
Juan and Pablo weren't there?
Juan and Pablo,
who had driven from Chattanooga
down to Fayetteville, Georgia,
which, I don't know,
three and a half hours,
something like that.
Good call.
Three and a half, four hours,
something like that.
Did not show up.
They failed the test, that means?
Well, they didn't even get to do,
the test is day two.
Oh, that was day two.
Oh, the written was also day two.
Yeah, first thing in the morning on day two and we wait we gave them an hour we
waited an hour for them to show up um damn like i said this guy's really nice on day one one guy
didn't bring boots he's like what size do you wear the guy's like ten and a half he's like all right
let's swap shoes like the the fucking he's really nice this is a nice instructor uh i went to the
dmv today to get my license and they were like it's not going through it says you haven't taken your written question your written exam
and i'm like hang on a second and i call this guy on the phone put him on speaker and he like
walks her through the system how like how her new like they've got a new dds uh system in place and
they warned us that sometimes the new people wouldn't be able to use it he's like just call
me put me on speakerphone and i'll get something done. And if I got to call down to Conyers and get the fucking grand poobah on the
phone, I will. And sure enough, like I put him on there and he's just like, I don't know, he bitches
her out and like sets her straight and gets my license. So anyway, got my license early this
morning. And my intention was just to go straight to the dealership and buy this bike and then drive
home, Uber back, ride it home. And the bike is $7,700, which includes like a $300 destination fee.
And obviously I'm aware that taxes are going to be there. And I assumed there'd be some kind of
a dealer fee, like maybe 500 to a thousand dollars. The first numbers he shows me, he's just like, all right, and this will be your interest rate.
And that's your down payment.
And 72 months.
And I'm like, 72 months.
Let's do, let's do like 12 months or 20.
I'm like, I'm like, first of all, I'm not paying this bike for six fucking years.
Let's do 12 to 36 months somewhere in there,
wherever the lowest interest rate is amongst those rates.
But second of all, where's the out-the-door price?
You've just shown me a monthly payment.
I'm supposed to agree to that?
Six years at how much?
I just started doing some math here,
and I'm going to pay him like $16,000 for this motorcycle.
I'm like, no.
So he goes back and still doesn't come back with the out- door price, even though that's the reason he left. And I'm like, no,
no, no. I want the out the door price broken down MSRP and like whatever else you're pulling,
you're plugging in here. And it turns out they have $2,100 worth of nonsense on top of MSRP.
So is that like dealer fees you said you were anticipating?
nonsense on top of MSRP.
So is that like dealer fees you said you were anticipating?
So like,
I'm going to get like what they're,
what they call them and like the, the varied amounts and correct a little bit along the way.
But roughly there was like a $500 crate fee,
which is like getting it there.
And I'm like,
no,
no,
no,
no.
There's a $300 fee for destination and it's in the MSRP.
And,
and,
and then there was like a three or $400
assembly fee, like taking it out of the crate and putting it together, which is like, that's
nonsense. I don't know about the amount. Cause I think mine was two 50, but an assembly fee is
typical. It's typical. I I've seen how they come in those crates. You got to put the handlebars
and you get, you got to put the bike together a little bit.
And then there was a documentation fee that was two to $400.
And then there was obviously tax tag,
tax tag and title.
That's expected.
That's common.
But,
and then there was something else, but sometimes tax tag and title is like $600.
And you're like,
Whoa,
you have a secretary do 12 of these things at one time. Why are you
charging me $600? Yeah, I think they're only charging like 50 bucks for the title,
which is like standard, I guess, more or less. If they'd been 25, I would have thought that was
more appropriate, but I'll pay you $25 extra. But yeah, there was $2,100 worth of extras on there.
And I was just like, I'm not doing that. I'm like, I'm not doing that. I sold cars for years.
I'd sell
a $70,000 car and the fee would be
$600. I get that that's been a little
while ago, but where are they now? $1,200?
I'm buying a $7,700 motorcycle
and it's $2,100 on top
of the thing. He's like, we don't sell cars here. We sell
fun.
We sell fun. What an asshole.
Yes. I'm asshole. Yes.
Yeah.
I don't like it.
You're a motorcycle guy.
I haven't come kick the shit out of him.
So I was like,
well,
I'm not going to buy any fun here.
I was like,
give me your best out the door price.
And that's,
that's what I just quoted to you.
I think they were willing to come off like $200 or something like that.
And it's just like,
now we're done here.
We're done here.
Uh,
so I just walked out,
uh,
and I don't plan to do business with them.
I do plan on buying a motorcycle this week.
Let me jump in.
Does he have your phone number?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause sometimes there's the walk out the door and then they call you and say,
Oh,
Kyle,
we just wanted to make sure you were serious about walking out.
We have a new price for you.
No,
that's okay.
If you, if anybody wants to leave a Google review for freedom Freedom Power Sports over in McDonough, Georgia, though, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
We got Mr. Suzuki on the line, and he said we cannot do that.
No, because I actually thought that might be the second half of this story, that they call you back and say, you know, we have new pricing for you.
we have new pricing for you.
That would be very odd because when I was selling
cars, God, you don't let them get out of the
dealership. Maybe you let them stand up,
but it's like, oh,
we worked this out. Let me go talk
to somebody about this. Maybe we can get
Mr. Suzuki on the line.
You tell whatever lie you got to have.
I think that's just...
Maybe the market is so good i i think that's just okay well like
maybe the market is like so good right now that i'm that that's just what they're doing i just
wish they'd be like yeah we're selling our motorcycles at a 1500 premium plus a 500
docking fee like if that was like on the thing i'd be like shit is everybody doing that like
can i get 500 off and we'd have probably agreed to that. Yeah. They tried to bamboozle you.
Yeah.
I didn't like the dishonesty.
I hate that it took you multiple tries to get the out-the-door price.
Yeah.
Because that's a term that people know what that means.
What's the out-the-door price?
He comes back with another monthly payment like, oh, fuck shit.
I asked for something specific.
You went back there and you didn't return with it.
Now I feel like you're trying to scam me.
Oh, absolutely.
It's fully a scam.
There's no way I'm paying whatever it was, $10,200 for a $7,500 motorcycle.
It just seems like nonsense.
He needs to be – I'm sorry to cut off.
No, you're good.
There are times in this world when it's like, you what the brand new corvette's just dropped we can't
keep them in stock they're selling for over msrp like that's a thing that happens sometimes i mean
i mean it was the only one there like it's not like they had a row of sv650s if he had told me
that but hey just so you know like it's gonna cost like ten thousand dollars out the door for
this bike because you know we've got one.
I don't know if you've looked around.
There aren't a lot of them around.
There's two of these in Georgia.
This is half of them.
That's the market.
Welcome to COVID.
If you had said that, maybe it would be different.
It would have been a different story.
I would have bought the bike.
But I felt like they were kind of greasy and dishonest about the whole thing.
And the manager didn't come to speak to me.
So I don't want to do business with them.
I'm going to go to a different dealership in the morning and see what i can do i'll just get a different bike like i wasn't like a hundred
thousand percent like in love with uh with that bike it just seemed like the best fit but i'll
get a kawasaki or i'll get a used uh honda or a used harley like i don't care i just want a
motorcycle yeah you know i mean you've got like a list of like seven that you love there's so like
like if if i find a bike that's in that sort of price zone,
I mean, the bike I was showing you earlier,
that's a $10,000 bike.
I really don't have to pay taxes on it.
It's not the price.
FJ-09, is that what we're talking about?
Yeah, like the FJ-09 I showed you.
I think that's like a $9,700 MSRP bike.
I think it's over $10,000.
Maybe.
I think that's a used one, though.
I think I'm looking at a used one,
like a couple years old.
I'm looking at new and used.
I'm not paying.
I was looking at what it costs when it was new.
Cause I was looking at it.
Okay.
Yeah.
But,
but I'm so not picky about what I get.
Like I sent you that picture of that Ducati monster.
Like that thing looked cool as shit.
Um,
I like the naked bikes.
I think that's the term,
right?
When they don't have all that plastic shit on the sides.
Um,
I don't like the plastic shit on the sides,
uh,
at all.
I don't like any of the bikes I've seen that look like that.
I've evolved into that same position.
Teenaged me.
How can we get more plastic on here?
I'm still seeing a little metal.
Can we put some plastic around the tires?
Why are these tires exposed?
Because like in the 80s and 90s, that was the style.
Now everyone likes the naked bikes.
That's what's up.
Yeah.
That MT-09, that's a great fucking pick um i think uh chis was talking about that earlier i don't love the mto9
that's got the greenish yellow like lime wheels which seems i think that that may be like the
current uh iteration or at least maybe uh the one i see a lot that's that's like this year model
but imagine those are like just a you know post option right
like i want that no no no well look it's different for everything but like specifically for the sp650
they come in one color like like oh that's annoying there's like every year they have a new
color style and you can kind of glance at one and tell oh this is in 2017 this is 2018 2019 because
like one year it's red one year it's blue this year it's uh sort of a pearl white
silver kind of thing on the tank and a red cage but uh but yeah it's different cows nailed it
like it motorcycles are updated oftentimes about as often as a car which is to say every like
five seven years something like that but they update the color you can get every year so it's
like oh this year's is blue next year's's is red. After that, it comes in
gray.
That's just what's up.
ZT's got the red one. I think that's a 2017.
There's a 2017
I'm going to look at tomorrow, actually.
It's got a few accessories on it. He's throwing some
exhaust and a windscreen on it, so that adds
some value to me. They're asking
$7,700 for it, but I'm guessing there's some
negotiation there.
I'll get to the bottom of all that tomorrow.
I'm going to go to one dealership, and if that doesn't
work out, I'll go to another one. I got nothing going on tomorrow,
so I'll shop around and hopefully come
home with a fucking bike. Hopefully, I'll
find somebody who will deliver it to my house for
a decent amount of money, because I don't
want to have to buy it, sign
the paperwork, drive home, Uber
back. I don't get a friend back where
i don't i don't have a friend out here who could drive me everybody's got jobs and shit and kitty
that's actually where my head was so kitty hasn't rushed kitty has a car but that's for being
chauffeured yeah yeah can you opt to assemble it yourself and save money or no no i wish you could
i i would appeal to me um i would like to assemble
it myself and do everything right torque lock nut loctite like that's how that would appeal to me
but or even like you know i don't even want the stock handlebar since we're already here let's
just go ahead and start with or maybe if you want to put some like uh some of those rubber
anti-vibration uh o-ring shim things on the handlebars. It'd be a good time to do that
when it's already disassembled for the first time.
I'm going to go tomorrow.
Hopefully, I come back with a motorcycle.
Again, I'm not too picky. I like these
naked bikes, but I
could definitely be sucked into
just getting the Kawasaki Vulcan.
I like those.
That's kind of a nice bike, and they're
rather cheap.
I saw a 2016 Vulcan with like it was red and i think it was like 5500 dollars uh i think it's
a cruiser i don't know bike names very well it's like the traditional style like it reminds me a
lot of the indian i think you would call it a cruiser yeah Yeah, I think it's a Vulcan S. And it's got I
think it's a 649 CC motorcycle. There used to be a Vulcan with a big motor. I like for the longest
time it had like the zero to 60 and zero to 100 record. Yeah, yeah, these are brand new ones we're
looking at here. The one I was like, looking at was bit older. Again, I'm not that picky. I just
want a motorcycle. I had a lot of fun in the class.
I had
zipped around a little bit before. I got
a friend that's got a Harley. I rode it
a few weeks ago, just real quick.
Do you know what kind of Harley
your friend has? 883 Iron.
I like those. I love it.
Very nice bike.
I like those. Anyway. Apparently, a nice bike. I like those. Anyway.
Yeah.
Apparently the Sportster is a girl's bike, a girl's Harley.
I keep leaning into this girl shit.
But every time I see a Harley Sportster, I'm just like, nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want that pussy mobile.
Give me one of those.
I like the Harley Sportster.
I think it's fucking sick.
So I could be leaned into one of those. Especially with a used bike, I'll feel much more comfortable test driving tomorrow because I
didn't want to test drive that 650. All I need to do is drop this brand new bike and have a whole
kerfuffle here. But with a used bike, I'd feel much more comfortable just jumping on a few things.
I really should. It might be easier to get a test drive on a used bike. Agreed.
If people don't know, in the car world,
they will enthusiastically take a photocopy of your license and throw keys at you.
Any car on the lot.
You want to go drive a Jeep tomorrow,
they're happy to give just, they love it.
On a motorcycle, you have to really have a vibe
of a serious buyer.
And typically the way a serious buyer. And,
um,
typically the way a motorcycle test drive works,
Kyle,
you might not know this is,
um,
the salesman will hop on a used bike.
You'll hop on whatever you're interested in and you'll follow him around and
he'll set the pace and the track for you.
That would work.
Um,
I really should test out a Honda rebel,
uh,
500 and see how that feels and and how much zip it's got.
Because the only thing that turns me off about that is it being a little bit low and worried that 500cc isn't quite enough for everything I want to do.
And I don't think it is.
I think 650 is the sweet spot for me.
I have that same thought.
Yeah, especially if the 650 is a twin cylinder as opposed to a single cylinder,
sometimes called a thumper. It's, it's a little less high revving. So it's a little less horsepower.
And if part of the mission is to go to Colorado, it's just nice to have a bike that, you know,
doesn't feel like you're ringing its neck at 85. Agreed. Yeah. Yeah. Um, those bikes we were riding on the in the uh in the class were 250 cc's and it was like
this needs a little more power i would not want to be like take this out on the highway because
it was like you'd fucking give it all she had it's like like is it a road test that you were on
like did you have to do stuff like all right you know you have to go left here and then stop at a
four-way and turn right on red or like
easier than that. It was all in a parking lot, but a really big parking lot with like so many cones
and spray painted lines on it. So we did things like, uh, there was like a, an S, uh, like track
painted on the thing. So we'd go, we do figure eights basically like lots of figure eights at
like 20 to 25 miles per hour. You'd accelerate up to about 25 and then break into the corners and lay the
bike over and make your corner.
And then we did this thing where we're like,
we had everybody going through that figure eight and then he'd wave you off
and you'd come over.
Like there was an intersection and you'd stop,
check traffic,
put your turn signal on and then enter the,
the figure eight with everybody else.
You had to navigate motorcycle traffic through,
you put two by fours in our path so we had to practice like like we don't jump it pop a wheelie you know and uh but you know the technique for going over those is just you you
just rev it up a little bit as you get there to take a little weight off the front tire and
elevate yourself a little in the seat. You just ride straight over perpendicular to it. And swerving maneuvers at 20 miles,
20 to 25 miles per hour, trying to like
simulating like a mattress in the highway.
So you have to enter between
these two cones. And
at the last minute, he's going to tell you to swerve left,
right, or just come to a complete stop. And so
you've got to react and do a thing. And then
there's lines to measure how quickly you stop.
If you stop, and obviously there's cones to make sure you actually do the swerve maneuver correctly.
Did anybody fall?
Yeah.
One guy fell on day two and he fell at a part of the course where it made no sense to fall.
He must have just grabbed too much front brake.
And then when the bike started, like came over, he must have like grabbed some throttle.
And then so when it sat down, it just like, I don't know, he must have like grabbed some some throttle and then so when it
sat down it just like i don't know he must have got rocking and rolling because when i looked up
he was down and and the bike was down and everybody's rushing over to like turn the
ignition off but the thing he was doing was like the last part of a three segmented thing it was
like there was like there was like a a double U-turn you had to do.
And then there was a swerve.
And then there was, you just kind of came to a complete stop and you repeated the course.
He was at the part where you come to a complete stop between two cones.
So did he fail or did he?
That wasn't part of the test.
That was still during practice time.
Like, like when we actually, when it came time to like test, test it, like it was very
clear.
He's like, and it was easier.
He had made like the practice was like twice as hard as the test.
So like in,
in practice,
it's like,
all right,
it's a double U-turn.
So you have to go out inside this like small recta.
It felt small in this rectangular space.
All right,
do a U-turn and then come back and do another U-turn all within the same
space.
And that was fucking hard.
Cause like you're going two
miles per hour or something so you're like riding the friction zone holding the clutch accelerating
and using rear brake to like keep the bike upright as you're making these really slow maneuvers
i found that difficult that was probably the hardest thing we did um for me anyway i found
the curves and the fast stuff like super easy um I wasn't afraid to like lean the bike over.
He told me it would work.
So I just believed him.
I kind of like that with stuff like that.
If somebody's like, yeah, don't worry, you won't fall if you just do this.
Well, he wouldn't lie to me.
He's kind of liable.
This is his job.
So yeah, he knows what to do.
But yeah, it's all good.
And he's got to see each other take the test.
Was there like camaraderie?
You start to bond a little bit as a group?
I think so.
I think so.
I liked all those guys.
Everyone in there was very nice.
And today, though, when he was fixing the driver's services thing, he called me.
The first thing he did was he sent me a screenshot of the test results. But he was just
trying to show her that I had passed the test.
But he sent me everybody's test results.
Not everybody made a 96.
Some of those fellows barely made
the mark.
I don't know how that's possible.
Me and the engineer guy
both made 96s.
And everybody else made 84s or below or
something like that when i took my kids oh one guy was below 70s when i took my concealed carry
i think everyone got a hundred but i got one wrong so he brings you up and the question i got wrong
was um the concealed carry enables you to carry a knife over three inches, and it doesn't.
But I thought, well, if I can carry a gun, I can probably carry a dinner knife.
No, apparently not.
That's not true.
That's stupid.
But what he does is he has you come up, and then everyone changes the answers to the ones they got wrong.
I missed one.
I was going to pass.
Other people missed
a lot. There are guys in
my concealed carry course who I genuinely
think of as just
retarded.
People who shouldn't have guns.
I'm sure they got hundreds by the time the course
is over. I mean, the guy who had
forgotten his goddamn boots.
That should be a couple points
off.
He is now a motorcycl off. Look, I...
He is now a motorcyclist.
I'm one of those people who has that
unique ability where I can read
and follow instructions.
I'm on there... I don't know how many times
I went back to the website and checked
all the things I needed to bring.
I brought so much.
I brought everything they told me to bring. I had five
highlighters. I had three pins. I brought everything they told me to bring. I had five highlighters. I had like three pins.
You can't buy one highlighter.
That doesn't exist.
You got to ride it.
They got packs of five.
Okay.
Okay.
I got like a bag full of highlighters and pins.
I got my COVID mask.
It said bring your own COVID supplies.
I'm like, are they required?
I guess so.
So I got like a mask and fucking hand sanitizer.
Nobody gave a shit about that stuff.
Nobody's wearing a mask.
I've got like all my motorcycle gear gear like more gear than anyone else there no one else had more than a helmet and only two of them had real gloves everyone else was wearing mechanics gloves so you
showed up like to syllabus week with everything ready every book you know you didn't wait to see
like are we really gonna read this book am i gonna I going to buy this now? You all in.
The guy with the mechanics gloves, he's the
one who fell down, shredded his gloves,
fucked his palm up.
That sucks. Was he wearing the wrong kind of gloves?
He was probably better than no gloves.
Definitely better than no gloves.
Motorcycle gloves are pretty tough.
They're at the very least leather and
with some armored knuckles and some of them have
Kevlar and stuff in them.
I think mine do.
But he just had some mechanics gloves.
He got a little scant up.
He was kind of like yellow dishwashing gloves on the frame.
He's got nurses.
He's got gloves.
Wearing rain boots and his matching gloves.
Yeah, that's funny.
But, man, you really ruined the curve on that test.
Everybody was looking at you as the A student.
Very nice.
No one knew what the scores were.
Are you going to frame your diploma?
There was no diploma.
I like to imagine they play the graduation music. They walk across the parking lot.
Jamal Robinson.
He comes up. He grabs the plumber, shakes his hand.
Remember how they walked you through it?
Like, grab the plumber, and then you reach under.
All right.
Under and shake the hand.
Not over.
The driver's test you took, by the way, is just like the Jersey one.
Like, all in a parking lot.
As you're describing the U-turns, the S, or the S weaving, I don't know what to call it.
The quick dodge thing.
Like this is all what the Jersey driver's test is like.
Yeah.
And then there was like a slow maneuvering right angle.
Like going into a corner and making a right turn.
There's like a painted right angle that you sort of had to drive through without touching any paint. I found it to be stressful
because it's like, fuck. I don't know. People don't
know what it's like riding a motorcycle.
I don't know. You're letting the clutch out just enough to allow just
enough power to go to the rear wheel. The bike doesn't want to stay up.
You're putting rear brake on,
not only to stay slow,
but also to like use some sort of,
um,
what do they call it?
Um,
it,
it,
it keeps the bike up through,
through some sort of magic of physics because the,
the bike is trying to turn forward,
but the brakes are holding it back and it keeps the bike up.
Right.
And you're like turning the wheel of a 500 pound motorcycle.
It wants to fall over and you feel like it wants to fall over.
It's like your hands are steering.
Your hands are also working the brake in the clutch and your foot's waking.
So it's like somehow using five limbs at this point.
Yeah.
And it's a lot to do at the same time.
Yes, it is.
But, you know, passed it, enjoyed it, had a lot of fun.
I was never scared or anything.
The Puerto Ricans were scared.
They were visibly afraid.
They stalled their bikes endlessly.
I mean, I stalled my bike several times.
Don't get me wrong.
But they stalled their bikes endlessly.
In Jersey, the driver's test, if you stall or fall, it's an automatic fail.
It's here too, yeah.
And I'm like, stall?
That's kind of rough. Like,
look, I still stall it sometimes. Like, like, you know, not every day, but like,
better have your A game on when the coach has got the clicker out. Yeah. He told us, he's like,
if you fall or you, uh, he's like, you can hit a cone. You can, uh, you can miss a turn. You know,
there's like six things in this test. Put your foot down a little.
Yeah, you can put your foot down a little.
I put my foot down in the U-turn.
I had to.
I wasn't – I was just – and it was just nerves.
The alternative was fall.
Yeah, it was just nerves really because like I got in line last, so everybody's like looking up at me, like waiting on me to finish up,
and he's standing there with his clicker and his like checkboard and everything.
He's timing you and scoring you.
Okay, Mr. 97, let's see
you do this. Fuck.
It was stressful because I was like,
God, what if I fail this shit
and I got to come back and do it again?
It was not fun.
It was so goddamn fun. Am I going to lie to Woody and Taylor about
this? Yeah, exactly.
I'm not going to lie. I'm going to be like, yeah,
I think maybe it's just not
for me.
I think what I'm going to do is get a slingshot. You're going to be like, yeah, I think maybe it's just not for me. I think what I'm going to do is get a slingshot.
You're going to like ratemyprofessor.com.
Mr. Johnson is so hard and he never passes anyone.
Somebody did that.
I always read Google reviews, by the way.
What did I say?
McDonough, Georgia, Power Sports.
Yeah, check out their Google results.
Terrible reviews. Terrible reviews.
Scam artists.
But I always
read Google reviews for stuff. Freedom
Power Sports, McDonough.
And I looked at his.
The guy gave me the test and everything.
Wonderful guy. Loved this man to death.
Helped me out every step of the way. Was never
shitty. Just super helpful. Great coach.
Great teacher. But there was one one- review and i was like oh sometimes like that's the guy who's
like actually like you know the motorcycle part went great but he raped me in the bathroom right
i need to know about any any upcoming rape you know i need to prepare for that sort of thing
so i looked at it and the guy's just like value's not really there. You could get more use out of the
Department of Driver Services literature. Not worth it. One star. He comes in and replies.
He's just like, Jeremy did not have the skills required to even begin riding a motorcycle. He
quit immediately and asked for a full refund, which, of course, was denied.
Just accusing every bad review as this idiot couldn't figure out the steering situation.
No refund.
Mark shit himself immediately.
It was super easy.
I know a girl who passed it, and she told me, she's like, I was super nervous at first.
And the coach was like, you got this.
And then you know what?
I did.
I did have it.
And I'm thinking like, if this little girl can fucking pass this test, anybody can.
And I really think anybody can.
It was, it was very easy.
If you've got any sort of coordination at all, you could do this thing.
Highly recommend it.
If anybody's thinking about getting into motorcycling at all, and you've never, you're like me, you've never been on a bike really,
or at least never learned the fundamentals of it. Like maybe you've thrown a baseball.
That doesn't mean you know how to play baseball. It's the same thing. And then that's where I was.
And I learned just so much, so much like, like so many, so many different like safety things and,
and just how to operate the motorcycle. And you know,
that little checklist of things you do when you're mount, how to get on a motorcycle, right? Like
the proper way, like, like just every step of the way you're learning and memorizing. And it's,
it's great. Totally worth it. I think some of them are $300. I've seen classes for 300. Mine
was 425. And I felt like I got every penny's worth, especially since I had to spend less time
at the DMV because I had it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The motorcycle safety foundation is considered a much better way to get your license than to just like,
whatever,
figure out the test questions and then drive enough that you hack your way
through the parking lot test.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed,
I mean,
also insurance discount,
big insurance discount.
I spoke to my progressive is who I use.
And I think it's $11 and change a month or something like that.
With no liability.
That's just liability.
Yeah, I'm trying to, is it called comprehensive?
When they pay for your bike, if you crash it.
Full coverage.
Okay.
Yeah.
Full coverage is a lot more.
when they pay for your bike,
if you crash it,
full coverage.
Okay. Yeah.
Full coverage is a lot more full coverage was like,
um,
11 to 1400,
depending on how much like medical you added on,
um,
a year,
a year.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As opposed to like 120 for just liability,
just liability.
And,
uh,
yeah.
And so I will be getting liability
because if the bike
gets wrecked, you just get a new bike.
It's a $7,000 thing.
Three years of insurance
and all of a sudden you've spent
$4,500.
That's what the bike's worth at this point.
I would say don't get any insurance.
You get a 97.
Bet on yourself, man.
And if they try to pull you up, you know what the 0 to 60 time is?
Even that sticks 50, goes 0 to 60 in 3.3 seconds.
The cops aren't going to catch me.
No, not unless there's a motorcycle cop.
That would suck.
He's probably on like a Goldwing or something, though.
They're so skilled, though.
Motorcycle cops.
They're so skilled.
Have you seen them do this?
They're so much better than all everybody. They're so skilled. Have you seen them do this? They're so much better than all everybody.
They're so good.
That's their whole job.
Every day, they're like, what am I?
Oh, yeah, I'm a motorcycle cop.
The qualifications to be a motorcycle cop.
There's a reason you see so few of them.
They must test 100,000 cops a day.
Because they can't bring bad guys anywhere.
That's why.
We're just going to chain you to the back.
The precinct is close.
We used to drag them to the jail, but liberal media.
What we do is we put
them on these criminal skis
and they enjoy a little bit of time
on the way back to the precinct behind the motorcycle.
I want you to keep your spine in line
with mine. If I lean, you lean.
We're going to do this.
Have you seen Dumb and Dumber? It's like that.
Hang on, Pat, piece of shit.
Oh, that's right. You're handcuffed.
Handcuff him around you.
He fell off somewhere on 85. I'm not exactly sure where.
I figure he learned his lesson,
but we was going at least 65.
He paid his debt to society.
He'll never loiter again because he's probably crippled.
You fall off a fucking motorcycle.
You fall off a bike at 65 with no gear handcuffed.
Just kill me.
I was talking to Dirty and his uncle, it was funny.
I was like, yeah, I'm going to get the bike tomorrow.
This is last night, obviously.
He's like, oh, yeah, my uncle's got a bike he wrecked it today he's in the icu and i'm like i'm like
what happened he's like well he was wearing no gear no helmet going down the interstate
fucking head injury and he's covered with road rash and it's just like just wear the helmet it's too scary i don't know about georgia but so my um gps
every time i enter a state it tells me the helmet laws in that state and a really common one is
helmets are only required if you're under 21 and i don't know how i feel about that like there's a
little bit of freedom you know in my thought process. But for myself,
I wear a full face helmet all the time.
All the time.
I'll grab my helmet.
I think I got a good one. I could be wrong.
I like how it looks anyway.
It looks cool. It looks like a good one.
Do you wear a helmet when you're skiing?
Or no?
No. I haven't skied in a long time
and people didn't when I skied yeah that's one thing
where they like really push it on you that i'm like i'm not gonna go down a run that's that
ridiculous like and it doesn't i'm not getting the wind whipping and i routinely go down runs
way over my skill level do you ever go down one you get a quarter of the way down the run too
late to bail out and you're like all right, the next 45 minutes of my day is decided.
Trying to get down here without dying.
Worse than that. A lot of times you can't see the run
until you go down
what will be a green circle.
Now it starts.
It's like, well, I really can't
get back up there.
So I am fucked.
It's always like
triple black diamond and it says like dead
man's code and it's like i did the other double black diamond and i really enjoyed it this double
black diamond is a whole new thing they need how can they have the same rating they need more black
diamonds to describe what this is yes yeah the first times i went skiing my friends led me down
the wrong path,
I think on purpose, because we got to Dead Man's Ravine,
and I was like, where's the bubble gum
forest? And they're like, that's on the other side of the mountain.
You have to learn this. And I just had
five yard sales the whole way down.
It was horrible.
Anyway, Kyle, show us the helmet.
So yeah, I got this.
Can you hold it a little higher?
Oh, nice. I looked it up, actually. Can you hold it a little higher? Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, I looked it up actually.
After you bought it, I checked out reviews and everything.
It looks like a solid one.
I think it's a staff pick at RevZilla.
Yeah, it was definitely a staff pick where I was.
The guy was like, I own two of them.
And so I don't know.
When somebody who knows their shit tells me that, I kind of like buy in.
I guess more than maybe I should.
I don't know.
It's got a bunch of features that are probably standard on a bunch
of shit. Did it also come with a clear
face mask? It does. Yeah, I've
got a clear one and one pin lock
I'm guessing. Yep. And
you know, it's like tons of ventilation. So it's got
these little adjustable vents up here.
You can open and close which is probably standard on everything
but I don't know. I guess like
the regular like DOT
helmet. It was, this is molded
plastic.
They just kind of went...
This one is carbon fiber
mesh that's hand-laid
on it.
Then there was one more expensive than this,
but I just didn't even like how it looked.
It was like $150 extra.
It was their granite helmet.
This might have been $400.
I don't know.
Roughly like maybe three 80,
maybe four 20,
somewhere in there.
Um,
but it's very,
very comfortable.
It fits perfectly,
which is all I really cared about.
Cause I,
I was just like my friend,
my friend's ears bleed sometimes with his helmet.
Can we avoid anything like that?
His ears bleed.
That's horrible.
It was.
I love that helmet now. As a matter of fact, tomorrow my wife and I are going to lunch by motorcycle.
And she's wearing that helmet.
And it's like, oh, I have to wear the other one.
Oh, that sucks.
But now what happened was, people don't care.
The inside of the helmet,
it's like really tight around the neck to keep air from going in, which is where noise
comes from.
And when you took it off, it wasn't snapped in so that it would unfold and the snaps,
these plastic sharp snaps would drag across my ears.
And at first I'm like, am I being a baby?
This really hurts. And I'm not, I'm like, am I being a baby? This really hurts.
And I'm not,
I mean,
I'm like kind of good with pain.
Like I'm not one to fuss about broken bones or whatever.
And,
um,
but this,
like,
I just didn't want to fucking put this helmet on.
There was a time I just had to go across the parking lot,
the motel and the diners shared a parking lot.
And you know,
you want to bring your bike over to the one that's near what you're using.
And I'm like, fucking no, no no no i'm not going to put this helmet on for a 15 second
ride i wore it like a baseball cap on top of my head because i didn't want to drag it over my ears
it was that bad i'm not there anymore i snapped it in right and i altered my technique it was
actually um i need to thank him uh i can't think of his name right now.
Thin, good-looking guy, has muscles, aced his MCATs, Navy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Vavity.
Vavity, thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
So Vavity was like, yeah, sort of rotate the straps backwards when you pull it apart.
That was the trick I needed to hear.
Yeah, he's got the same helmet.
And he's got special ears because he had that ear surgery to make like right make them fancy i performed my own ear surgery with that fucking
helmet it was like that was like my main concern i was like we're gonna get a good fit before we
leave here like we started with i think that's a large and we started with extra large and i was
like wiggling and i'm like oh we got a little wobble here it's no good but the large fits
perfectly kind of chubby cheeks at first yeah
yeah yeah definitely gives you a little mush there uh that uh that lightens up it doesn't
let me like i've got to like forcibly close my mouth when i'm wearing it like like because it
wants to like squeeze my okay so i'm just like i have to like like like inflate my cheeks and
then bite down so i don't bite the inside of my mouth when i'm wearing the helmet which i don't love but any of this in the car no i i love what i'm hearing
that's how it's gonna fit for like the first 500 miles especially if you like sweating it and stuff
like it'll break in quick yeah that's what i was thinking as well so i've been sleeping in it
and some weird looks at the grocery store i i mean no you just look cool you look like an assassin
that's that's what i thought that's what i thought and they do not they do not care for it
but uh but yeah i'm looking forward to it um i'm not i'm gonna have to ride some more to like see
if that colorado trip is something i want to do because the two days of like riding hard which
was like five hours of riding the first day and maybe three hours the second day maybe four i was sore and there were a couple times when i was like
doing like really tight right turns and i had like put my foot down and like break real quick
to keep from dropping the bike and it drove the handlebar into like my right thigh and so like
i've got a huge bruise there, just because the bike was so low and
the handlebars were so wide, it was just, I'm bruised up and, and I was sore, like in my back,
like, like not like muscle soreness from like lifting or something. It was just like that sort
of like, I've been sitting in the same position for eight hours today. And like everything is
just sore and cramped up. So I would definitely need a comfortable bike to do multiple six, seven,
eight hour days. So, but, but the other option, and I was talking to scum about this is renting
bikes in Colorado. You can rent a decent bike, like a, what is it? The scrambler, the Cotty
scrambler. Oh, they're fun. Yeah. It looks fun for like $80 a day. And I know that's not cheap,
but like if you get some use, it's not cheap if you're going to sit in the parking lot of the house and just let it sit there. But if you're making a day
of it, if we zip up into the Rockies and go for a little touring and see some sights, totally worth
$80. Yeah, exactly. Yes. If you intend to ride the bike to Colorado, that's a pretty big piece of the bike's whole mission. It would impact what I buy.
Or on the other hand, if you're going to own the bike in
Colorado, let's say for moving there, I might go in a different direction. Something
that's a little off-road capable or a dual sport or something.
A dual sport, yeah. The V-Strom does appeal to me. I don't love the headlight.
Maybe that's being silly. I don't love the headlight. And I know that's like, maybe that's being silly. Like, I don't like the headlight on that one. But when, when in reality,
it's like everything else is perfect for like my use case, but I want to like the way it looks.
Um, she has linked to Ducati the other day that I loved. It was either Ducati or a, or a, a triumph.
And I was, Oh, that's so nice. I don't know. Um got to like your bike. Some of these bikes look so fucking sexy to me.
I really dig them.
I like them as much as I do sports cars, and they cost a sixth as much.
Yeah.
So it's like, I don't know.
I hope I don't hurt myself.
I hope I don't do anything stupid on this thing,
but I'm definitely getting a motorcycle as soon as possible
because I've caught the bug from Woody.
If you buy a bike that
has more than like 75
or 85 horsepower,
you should place a lot of value
in the electronic nanny
type stuff. There are anti-wheelie
electronics, traction control
electronics that
will keep you safe.
You can turn all that off. If you want
to go hooligan,
you know,
maybe 2022 Kyle wants to pull fucking rank.
That cow is all the time.
Yeah.
He has that,
that traction control stuff.
Yeah.
My,
so I went from 50 to 105 horsepower recently.
And I want to say like three times,
the electronics on my bike have helped me. One time was in a braking situation.
I was behind a car and I was getting impatient and like he wasn't letting me pass.
I'm behind him, I'm behind him for like miles.
Finally, I see what I think is a nice passing opportunity.
Like it goes to two lanes on this curve.
It turns out it went to two lanes because it was a stop sign and there was like a right and left choice to make.
So I quickly jump up to like 80 miles an hour, see a stop sign. Now I have to brake hard on a turn.
My rear wheel starts to lock up and the bike is just like, I got you, Woody. We're going to make
sure you don't slide out. Your rear wheel is not going to catch your front. And I was like, fuck,
the bike compensated for me not being good enough rider
when you're braking in a turn are you getting the bike upright before you begin or are you are you
braking leaned over i think i was braking leaned over in this situation using any any front brake
or just all rear i was using front brake mostly front brake i would say that's scary uh yeah i
think i'm shit so you're trained and you might know things i don't i think
on the street it's kind of like 70 30 front to rear brake maybe turns are different and on the
dirt it's the opposite maybe 70 i've heard conflicting reports like like obviously like
like what the manual says is what uh look slow press and roll or something like that. And, uh, which means look, see, you
know, look at where you're going and slow, look, press and roll. I think slow, look, press and
roll. Yeah. You slow down. You look at where you want to end up, you know, not right in front of
you. You look at where you want to end up. Um, press the, press the bars where you want to go.
And then you roll on the throttle, which means you accelerate through the turn and that keeps the bike upright. And, uh, but then I watched that Yammy guy or somebody
on YouTube and he's just like, they've been teaching this and it's killed more people
than polio. And he starts like, like, he like gets at the chalkboard out he's like this is mario
margusi he was the blah blah blah winner from 2009 to 2020 he won it all you know what he does in
turns you know what he does in turns he uses his front brake look at him and you can see him like
applying the front brake in slow motion when he's got this fucking rocket ship of a motorcycle laying...
His turn's a little different than mine.
I was so proud.
Is he that far from his elbow
touching the concrete? His elbow is touching the
concrete. Elbow and knee.
Elbow and knee are grinding.
I know a guy who touches his helmet
on the ground when he does turns. Wildman.
I was so proud.
I was the only one... Don't be be worried kyle it was a paramotor
accident i thought you're gonna say like heart disease i was proud of myself when i was dragging
the pegs because i was the only one in the class that like like at one point after we did the
figure eights he's like did anybody drag their pegs and everybody's like no of course not i'm
like i did was that wrong he's like no that's right if you're not dragging the pegs? And everybody's like, no, of course not. And I'm like, I did. Was that wrong?
He's like,
no,
that's right.
If you're not dragging the pegs,
you're not doing it.
He's like,
he like leans the bike over,
like with his hands to show how far it'll go over before the pegs lane.
He's like,
you think that's as far as it'll go?
Uh,
and then he like kicks the peg to show that it folds up under the bike.
Like you can keep on going.
If you're not dragging the pegs,
you're not doing it.
And,
and I was like,
that is really far. It is kind of, it's fun to like actually lean the bike over and make it do its
thing. But dragging your knee and elbow is terrifying. But anyway, I don't know. Uh,
that's what he told me to do. And I think it applies for like most road situations,
especially like if you're not carving up some Canyon somewhere. So it's what I'm going to do.
It worked. It made the bike stick like glue. And I was not on a sport
bike. I was on a real piece of shit and it still stuck like glue. They do stick like glue. I was
surprised knobby stick as well as they do. One of the things that I wish I could drill into other
riders to understand is the speed at which you can take a turn is informed by how much of that turn
you can see. So like what is a 90 degree turn is actually kind
of straight when you like start wide, go narrow and end wide. That same turn, if it's a 180
is very sharp, but you've got a lot more turning to do, even though what's visual at like, as you
go into it, they look the same, a 90 and a 180. But if you can't see the exit of the turn,
you need to go extra slow. Yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. The guy in the YouTube video was like, he's like, I asked the MSF instructor, what do I do if I'm mid turn and I realize I'm going
too fast? He's like, well, you don't want to do that. And I was like, well, unfortunately,
I've got a Ducati, a time machine so what do i do
well you just accelerate harder and you turn harder and it's like is that what you do he's
like well if i was brave enough i would he's like well you're teaching somebody not as i do
literally teaching something that he's afraid to do um my instructor rides a fucking goldwing
which is a gigantic fucking tank of a motorcycle.
Did he demonstrate his skills on it?
He didn't have it there.
He was driving his pickup truck,
but it's a 1,500-pound motorcycle or something.
Some of those Goldwing drivers are very talented,
and they can carve up a parking lot in impressive ways,
in ways that regular people struggle to do on their 600s.
Yeah.
He was an older guy. I would say 60. His son did all the demonstration. ways and in ways that you know regular people struggle to do on their 600s yeah he was um he
was an older guy i would say 60 um his son did all the demonstration his son was like 25 or so
um and uh whenever he could ride he could he could ride really well um you know obviously
we're in a parking lot but like just watching him do his thing everything was just so fluid
and like like like He did everything perfectly.
Sometimes you can tell this guy's put a helmet on for the 1500th time.
He knows it.
Yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing.
He was very good at that.
I'm sure he's great on the road and everything else too.
But yeah, hopefully I get a bike tomorrow.
If not, it'll happen soon.
I'm open to anything, really.
Different styles of bikes, used, new, whatever.
And I don't really care about the price that much.
I don't really care about how much you need to put down.
I don't care about the monthly payment, whether it's $100 or $300 a month.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to get ripped off.
I don't like that feeling.
Especially having sold cars before.
We'd laugh at people when we got them.
I don't want to be laughed at.
We'd laugh at them.
We don't want to be laughed at we'd laugh at them can you believe it like you'd be like high-fiving your buddies like like knocked his fucking head off he's paid no no no not 72 84 months 84 months 17 interest it's new
this guy just paid two2,000 for eight minutes
of my secretary's time.
Wells Fargo called.
They made us lower the price.
They didn't even find out how much we sold it for.
That happened.
Wells Fargo's like, you can't
sell him the car for this much.
We won't loan this much for this car.
It's not worth that much.
It's a brand new car and you're charging so much
for it that we can't authorize
the loan. So you have to go to the customer and be like,
great news.
1,000th customer.
Have you guys been open
for 30 years?
Ring the bell.
You've got a winner.
$300 off. We stole this from a cancer ward.
$31 because you take exactly the amount.
Literally finance the maximum legally allowed by the fucking financial institution.
Or like for a multinational bank to be like,
you guys are getting a little dirty over there.
Right.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo.
For Wells Fargo. For we laughed at him. We made fun of him a little bit. Like that, that Jamoke didn't do any internet research. Like in Alpharetta,
Georgia,
we always had like,
well to do white dudes with glasses come in with a fucking stack of papers and
a,
and a 800 beacon score.
And like,
all right,
I'm making $50 today.
You knew this guy was coming in prepared.
It was going to fuck you up.
And then sometimes someone would come in and they on the seat of their pants with a shoebox
full of cash and you were about to get paid.
I don't want that to happen to me.
Did you buy pants yet or are you wearing normal pants right now?
I was going to buy pants today, but
they didn't get my business. I was going to buy pants.
I was going to buy the whole Bluetooth thing.
I was going to buy a windshield.
I was even considering getting a slip-on
exhaust from them, but
they lost my business.
The Bluetooth thing that seems to win every review is called Cardo. I was even considering getting like a slip on exhaust from them, but, uh, but they lost my business. So the,
um,
the Bluetooth thing that seems to win every review is called Cardo.
I have the regular version and the slim version.
I don't have a preference.
What goes in your ear?
Is there like an earbud or is it just,
there is a speaker and almost all helmets.
I bet if you look at yours has a,
like a recessed circle,
you just pull a little foam out and there's a spot where the speaker sticks in. That's perfect. Cause I was afraid it was, I can't do earbuds. They, they just
hurt my, you hate them. I've got little baby bitch ears. I've got virgin ears. You plug those
things up. They don't like it. So the speakers use, um, you know what a headphone jack looks
like the thing they removed from the iPhone. Okay. The speaker uses that. So you can change
the earbuds if for some reason you change your mind, but it comes with speakers.
Yeah, I feel you. Yeah, I would want the speakers. I'd love to be able to communicate with whoever I'm riding with. I want to ride with ZT.
You know, he's an addict.
Yeah, music for sure. I want to play my music. And navigation, like audio cues would be nice. So I don't have to take my eyes off the road. That would all be very helpful things to have.
That's probably a wrap there.
I hope I didn't bore you guys with my motorcycle talk.
I'm super into it right now. I'll try to
tone it down on PKA this week.
I'm glad you're into it.
I'm biased.
I'm like, oh, we're stopping already? Okay.
PKN 360.