Painkiller Already - PKN 361

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

pkn 361 it's just taylor and i kyle couldn't make it nope not quite i see a head over there oh there you are it's the camera woody and i have eyes like uh like uh what is it t-rex based on solely movement and i i remember like watching jurassic park as a kid and being like even then like six years seven years old being like this doesn't make sense like why would the top predator not be able to see its prey unless it was running that is a great point yeah you'd think that it'd be like a bird of some sort and the birds descended from them maybe t-rex has had great vision they say it must have or something because it doesn't like it

doesn't apply that way to any other predator. If a gazelle stays perfectly still, a lion's not going to be bamboozled. It's going to kill it. A shark will not be afraid of a turtle that just freezes up. They now believe that T-Rexes were mostly scavengers though. I choose not to believe that. I don't like it.

Oh, okay. Why were they so big and strong? Well, actually, who knows what they were? Yeah, I don't know. I've never they so big and strong well actually who knows what they were yeah i i don't i don't know i've never seen a t-rex for real um i'm not sure dinosaurs uh exist well a lot more worldly than you i guess i was well they have some pieces of them at the museum but even then sometimes you'll go through like the natural history museum and it'll be like this is what this thing looked like and it's like this incredible like tapestry and and then it's like it's like inferring what that what a bird's eye view of

new york city looks like because you can see three streets in brooklyn like they're like you know we can tell because i had this big of a leg that it means that its teeth were awesome it's like but how are you sure? That is actually... That's why they changed it. I know over the years, they've shown how their idea of what certain dinosaurs were changed as they found more

of skeletons. They're like, well, we used to think that... They used to find these mammoth skulls, right? I don't know if you've ever seen a mammoth skull. It's got a hole right in the middle. it looks like a cyclops and so they thought these were cyclops skulls and so they just like put that on top of like some human gigantic bones that they made of plaster and they were like cyclops cyclops there it is that's like the feature of the 1896 World Fair. Or some freak show somewhere.

Or probably the Museum of Natural History in the fucking 1880s. One of the really interesting things... Mammoth skulls. Can you Google image search mammoth skulls, Zach? It makes sense why they thought I did not know what they looked like. Exactly like what you would imagine

what they looked like. What did they know? They had been around long enough to like, yeah, the Greeks talked about cyclopses. Maybe they weren't fibbing. Some of them are better formed and you can infer that there'd be two eyes. And some of them, the center doesn't have that. Like imagine

two circles like this. Some of them that just kind of look like a cyclops. Yeah. Yeah, that one in the top middle without the tusks. If you don't find the tusks, you're like, that's a fucking Cyclops. You just know religious people

at the time were like, and this is evidence of David and Goliath. It was never said he was a Cyclops. Shut the fuck up. Read between the lines. The Lord've got to read between the lines. The Lord wants you to take some serious liberties. This is the Walmart mammoth skull? You can buy $10, I guess.

Fucking buy now! $19.99. $19.99. What a stupid thing to buy. But also kind of cool. Okay. Yeah, you never know. You never know.

I was listening to what I thought was PBS the other day on the radio. I really like educational programming of any kind. And this guy was making so much sense. I was like, oh, I'm going to learn some shit today. I was driving back from the motorcycle thing. And no, he was disproving evolution. And I was like 15 minutes into listening and nodding

along before I realized he was disproving evolution. And I was like, I can't listen to this. It's making way too much sense. I can't listen to this. You didn't realize what he was saying for like 15 minutes. Well, I was kind of in and out of it. And I knew that he was talking about dinosaurs

and birds. At the same time, I was buying car insurance on my phone or motorcycle insurance on my phone and I was texting you guys. I wasn't really paying 100% attention. Certainly not to the road. He was on a motorcycle at the time, by the way, boys. Yeah.

He was texting us. I am not a safe rider. No? I'm a joke. We'll get there. But yeah, he was... And I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something about how the lungs of a bird differ

from those of the dinosaurs or reptiles, I guess. And he was just making far too much sense and something about how like the reason birds have those lungs is is partially to help them in flight but also um you know because they have to breathe while they're in midair and then there was this i don't know he was making far i was like wait is he disproving of no no it doesn't it doesn't seem like he was disproving evolution as much as he was saying everybody's got it wrong. They're on the bird path

and it's the lizard path. I felt like he was going to... I felt like the whole seminar was going to end with and let's all now pray to Jesus Christ for the souls of the believers of evolution or something. It was coming. I could feel it. He had it loaded up.

He was pretty convincing. I will say this. His bird lung discussion. I mean, you could fool me to believe anything about bird lungs. I have nothing to lean on. I don't know. Something about how they had bellows lungs, or maybe the dinosaurs had bellows lungs.

Again, I was not paying full attention, but he was making a lot of sense. He was very confident in his position. I'll say that. The dinosaurs didn't have hollow bones, did they? That would not make sense because they were enormous. They're not hollow like I thought they were. I thought that the inside of a bird's bones

were going to be like a plumbing tube, like a copper pipe. That's what hollow means to me. They're actually porous, like a copper pipe you know that's what hollow means to me uh they're actually they're porous like a lava rock like like there's all sorts of strands and seemingly random position so it's filled with holes but it's more like uh i don't know a milkshake you blew bubbles into or something yeah and that makes sense for birds because it's flying but like like kyle was saying like a t-rex if you tried to put those kind of bones

in that, I imagine something that size would just kind of crumble in on itself, right? Yeah, probably so. I don't know. I don't know if dinosaurs even existed, man. They didn't find those things until like the 1850s, right? Like all of human history and then we didn't find a single dinosaur bone until like 200 years ago or something.

Is that true? Yeah. How did we not find any until then? Magic. We weren't digging? Yeah. We had to be digging. People were digging everywhere.

Well, well, scientists will tell you, Taylor, is that we were, we were finding the bones and we were labeling them as dragons or, or, or,

or big lizards or just, you know, some sort of biblical monsters. But yeah, we didn't find any dinosaurs. In 1677, Robert Plott is credited with discovering the first dinosaur bone. But his best guess is that as to what it belonged to was a giant human. It wasn't until William Buckland, the first professor of geology at Oxford, that a dinosaur fossil was correctly identified

for what it was. And then in 2090, we'll correctly identify it for what it really, really was. There you go. He was right initially, it was a giant man. These are actually our reptilian overlords. That is wild.

I did not know this about fossils. First of all, the guy who thought it was a giant, he should not get credit. That's not enough of a guess from the bone that he should get credit for dinosaurs. The other guy, 1824, he should get credit for it because at least he thought

it was a big lizard. Credited with discovering the first dinosaur bone. I don't feel like he's getting credit for discovering dinosaurs as much as he is the bone fair enough yeah taylor what is your background i have to know what do we have this week i think it's like wooden paneling from inside an rv yeah i'm getting a very uh king of the hill vibe though you know a A little wooden picket fence action. Yes, it is. It's a nice wooden pan. I don't know. I think it was one of the default ones.

Okay, I thought for sure it's like, oh, you're unaware. There's a meme now about wooden planks. Nope, didn't think. Just picked one. That's what my parents' kitchen looked like in 1987. Yeah, I think we all remember family and friends who had kitchens that looked like this.

Hallways or guest bedrooms. I remember my great aunt's fucking guest bedroom had this on there and I just felt weird. 80s architecture was cool though. I remember it very well. Obviously from when I was four, which would have been 1990,

but still it was 80s architecture. The sunken rooms, like how you'd have a sunken living room. I think of that as earlier than that, like Madhouse, right? Perhaps it is. Perhaps that is 60s. But, well, that's how the house was built. And waterbeds, for sure. Waterbeds, for sure.

The only beds in the house were waterbeds. I thought those were so cool. They were more popular back in the day. I remember, dude, my best friend at the time was dating this girl. And her parents got her a waterbed. These are two 17-year-olds. They're sexually active. And mom and dad got her a waterbed.

I'm like, what are you thinking? This is a green light to a teenaged boy. It's hard to fuck on a waterbed. Is it? Yeah. I would imagine it would be uncomfortable. You're not getting that sort of bounce back that you want. You're getting a sort of a flow

through. It's not conducive to... Challenge accepted. I don't know. I feel like it would be great. You're going to buy a waterbed? Well, there's only one way to disprove this, and that's to buy a $4,000 giant bubble of water. Oh, we have to. Shit.

It wasn't a waterbed like I expected. It was a waterbed. It felt like one. I did hop on it. But it had a bunch of tubes like cells that maybe across the bed. It was like one of those thermoses that you'd put on a sore

muscle or something. Just a big fucking water bubble. In the frame and everything. Not just lying on the floor, of course. One of my best friends in grade school, his older brother, who was seven years older than us or so. We're seven and he's 14. Me and my friend. Oh, okay. Not you guys.

He was two years older than Kyle. In 11 my friend. Oh, okay. Not you guys. Stop being a dick. He was two years older than Kyle. In 11 years, you're a junior. Did you just do that math correctly? I did. Wow. Carry on. I remember we'd go over there and it was a rule.

You don't go in Justin's room. That was the older sibling. My buddy was like, do you want to go see his waterbed? And I was like, want to go see his waterbed and i was like oh a waterbed and like in my head like i'm the oldest a 14 year old to me he's well into adulthood and so i go in and i like see the waterbed and it's just this giant amorphous blob like kyle's describing i like jumped on it and immediately like underwhelmed at like this isn't even comfortable like this is there's no way to distribute your weight right on it you like sink to like your ass when you try and sit up and it

just it you know what it's like it's like if you've ever been on a poorly inflated air mattress exactly it's like that except uh apparently you get freezing cold because there's water in it. That's the good part, though. That's the good part, though, because nothing stays cooler than a water-based bed, I think. Obviously. But it's just not comfortable. It really isn't. It should be heated and cooled.

You should be able to warm it up and circulate it in the winter. I just remember that bitch popped one time. I'm not sure I want that. Oh, no. Yeah, it popped. popped yeah the waterbed Like popped and started It didn't explode because that's they're not They're made to not do that sort of thing

But it's just leaking and it's like oh no We've got to get rid of this I don't remember how they drained I do remember watching them fill it And it involved a garden hose Like pulled up to the second floor of the house But again I'm Four so it's all super blurry there's just a little payoff for a water bed yeah it was the thing back then i think i it must have

been because dad always liked cool toys and like he had he had he was like he was a water bed man apparently i mean uh memory foam changed the game in a way that like nothing else did everybody dislikes springs now i love my bed i love my memory foam bed it's awesome feels great i've had it for years you couldn't you can't find a single like even like a dime's width of dent anywhere in it what if what if this was all an ad read and at this point we transitioned into like a Casper mattress. That would be masterful. That's a, that's a fucking beautiful. No, no, no, we're not. Yeah. I mean, I'm never going back to a non memory foam bed. And next time I get one I'm looking forward to already when it comes in that

box and you cut it open and it kind of like works like that elephant toothpaste foam that you see sometimes. Yeah. It's awesome it i love it i uh i i love my bed uh it's the best bed i've ever had and like you said i'll never go back to a standard like i don't know whatever those shitty beds that poor sleep on are oh gross i would never i mean i love what does that thing the one like dn has leaned against the wall behind him. Oh, spring face. Deon made a joke the other night that he had a metal plate in his head, and he had us going for like, I don't know, a solid minute or two

because there's clearly something wrong with him, and this explains so much. And then he's like, come on, I don't actually have a metal plate in my head. I'm like, no, no, no. I'm going to tell everyone that you actually have a metal plate in your head. This is brilliant. And Fish starts threatening him with powerful magnets and stuff. That's a good one.

Yeah, it's super mean. I saw there's been some nonsense going. We shouldn't even talk about that. Unless we be like. We don't have to. Court proceedings someday. If that shit actually does pop off. I'll just say this.

Like one person was threatening another person. With great bodily injury last night. And it was just. People need to calm down. Yeah. I'm in there to like be one of the guys i don't want to be daddy i don't want to have to be moderating sometimes you have to i refused to i left they were like get in here there's there's death threats being thrown about and i'm just like nah not my problem not my problem i'm not dealing with that no they've already banned that guy um

like like like if you guys want to like swap death threats on a different app that has nothing to do with me i don't want any part of this nonsense but wait did we ban the recipient of the death threats well that's irrelevant okay my bad oh i thought there was a bit of tit for tat going there i think there was like i I'm going to punch you and you're going to shoot me. Yeah, well, I mean, one person's threatening to drive across the country and beat up the other, and the other's saying,

show up, you know? Like, fucking hassle doctor and I'll take you out. Yeah. Dude, the parallels were crazy. There was no sissy hit no threats but otherwise yeah 100 pretty much it's right on par um but yeah it's we've been having a wild week of poker i think i'm up a grand maybe a little more than a very nice i won uh i won like 901 night um which was ridiculous and are you at liberty to say who the big winners and losers of this week have been?

I don't like to talk about people who have lost money. It's like kicking a dog when he's down. Fair enough. Dirty always does fairly well. We all have nights where we lose a little. I lost $87 last night, but the previous four nights in a row I won. So it was like one night I won $3, one night I won $50, one night I won like $150, and the next night I won like $900.

But last night I lost 87. I was like, oh, we'll cut it off right there. And I got up and just left. Some of those guys don't do that, though. They'll just keep coming back and back and back. And they don't lose 100 and then buy another 100 in chips because you can't get back even that way. You got to get $200 of chips now. That way you could take bigger chunks out of other people's stacks.

Right. Because, you know, we both go all in and I've only got a hundred dollars. A hundred dollars is the most I can win. Yeah. But it's also the most you can lose, which is how I play. These guys are like, oh, I lost 200. Well, I'm going to need $400 worth of chips then. Oh, I lost $400, did I? Well, let's just keep going.

And sometimes people lose a grand in a night. It's happened a few times. Do bad players ever make a lot? In the short term. Yeah. Yeah, in the short term. And it's like, we kind of like that because it's like, see you tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah yeah and they're like sure will i think i found a new profession you know because in your position that's how i feel when i watch people bet on like gamestop or amc stock or something like like i mean look i'm happy you're doing well but you don't seem like a professional investor to me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's been a ton of fun. I love playing poker with those guys. We have a,

we have a big ass poker game. Like, like I think the table seats eight or 10 and there's a line of people waiting. They're like, I'm fourth in line. I'm fourth in line. You know? And it's just like,

as people get knocked out and give up, cause you don't getting knocked out. Isn't enough. You have to like, actually be like, I'm done. Cause, cause it was all your scale well right like you couldn't have like a 18 person table that would suck because you do two tables you do you do we just break it into two tables and and we

that that kind of complicates things because you know it's you got to keep a ledger like of like money in and out straight and like it's easier to watch one table because the table and the app kind of keeps that log and that ledger like all together but if you split it into two now you got two and it's you'd need two people running two tables and nobody's getting paid for this shit we're all just doing it for fun and some people are actually working for fun because if you start paying people it becomes a casino or something like that so everybody's working out of the kindness of their hearts. I imagine a lot

of people want to be at your table. Sure, I suppose. I don't want to be at the table without Kyle. Sure, I suppose so. I'm sure for some people they're into that. You're quite the get. I might want to not be at Kyle's table because he's good at poker. That was my logic

we should put Kyle, Dirty that dude that knows the dude who's really good at poker and the one that won the world series of poker not at Woody's table yeah, Dirty got so mad Dirty got so mad because I said that Alex was a better poker player than him on the show which one's he?

he's the smart one that told the story about the Indonesian weaponized autist poker player. Yeah, that guy. Alex didn't do super well. I'll say this. I think Alex is going to focus on his career more. Dirty wanted me to say that he is the best player in the Discord.

Did Dirty make $1,000 this week? I doubt it. Who has posted Dirty? Kyle's the best. Although he may have... It's true. He doesn't watch the show. No, he doesn't watch the show. Say whatever you want. Say whatever you want. Dirty said the meanest shit to Dian that I've ever heard of a human being say to another

human being this week. God, I don't know if I should repeat it. That's why I don't talk shit to Dirty. Probably shouldn't encourage it if we're trying to avoid stoking these facts. Oh, this is a different people. This is different. Oh, is it? This is like Dirty's not involved with the death threats.

How about this? I won't say who he said it to. Oh, I not involved with the death threats. How about this? I won't say who he said it to. I already said it was Deion. No, just don't tell us. I want to say it. I'm going to say it. Don't say it, Kyle. First of all, Deion,

I do like you. I'm glad you're around. I enjoy playing games with you. We all genuinely like you as a person here. And I'm sad that things have gone so poorly as of late. But Deanne was, I think, loading up to make a joke about Dirty's girlfriend. So he said, and Dirty has his girlfriend in his profile picture. They're like kissing. And she's a very lovely young lady. And Deanne said something like, does your girlfriend always have those braids in her hair? And I think he was going to, he was heading somewhere with that.

He was heading somewhere. Maybe he was going to grab those. He was going to do something. The stage was getting set. It wasn't a genuine question of hairstyle. He didn't actually have hair-related interests. Uh-uh. He was like, yeah, because I'm thinking about doing mine that way.

That's not where it was headed. And Dirty was like, are you fucking kidding? My girlfriend would spit on you if she saw you. And not because you're ugly ugly but you are very ugly she would spit on you because you're a goddamn creep and you look like one and i was just like oh i don't think he looks like a creep i mean the mattress isn't doing anyone any favors and it would just be such as a quick fix to every dirty joke I have revolves around, so I'm sorry, every Dian joke I have

revolves around the mattress behind him. If people don't know, Dian in his background has a mattress, a twin mattress. It looks a little dirty, and it's been there for six months, maybe longer, and everyone talks about it constantly.

It costs us much longer, I think, and he hasn't gotten rid of it. He's still there. It's the butt of every joke. And I'm trying not to talk about it anymore because it's just low-hanging fruit. It's weak. Yeah. But I wonder at this point, what's he hiding behind that mattress?

You think the mattress needs to be there? That if he would have replaced the mattress with a poster, now everyone would have questions. Why do you have a poster that's conspicuously low? I don't think the secret is an Andy Dufresne style secret. We're not talking about a little hole that you can crawl through. We're talking about something awful back there that requires an entire twin mattress to hide.

I think it's like that episode of The X-Files where that killer comes out of hibernation every 50 years to eat five livers, and then he goes back into his hidey hole that's hidden behind a mattress and lives in some sort of cocoon of human bile in newspapers. Probably exactly like that.

It would be hilarious if Dean got rid of the mattress and he just had a door there. Not a door installed. A door leaning against the wall, hiding whatever he used to. Just swap it out. He doesn't have door money. No, who's got door money. No.

Who's got door money in these times? Yeah, you guys have pilfered all of his door money with poker. He keeps coming back. He won't stop. He won't stop. He's young, so he's not loaded or anything. He's a young guy who's just getting started in life. And the money that he loses in poker hurts.

Hurts me. It hurts me to see Deion lose. I hope he's won some this week, although I haven't seen it happen. I know they've been playing a lot of Baccarat. I believe he has a gambling problem. What is Baccarat? It's another card game. It's slightly reminiscent of Blackjack in that there's a sort of dealer versus player aspect. But in this game, you're sort of betting on whether the dealer's going to win, the player's going to win, or if there's going to be a draw. I think each person gets three cards,

and those cards have numerical values when they're added together, which I don't quite understand because I haven't watched enough of it. It may just be the value of the cards. Like a seven plus a deuce is a nine, and I think nine might be Baccarat. But I haven't watched enough of it to to follow but the interesting thing is that there if you just bet that the two players will tie it's like nine to one payout so these guys will like run 25 up to like a thousand dollars sometimes and be like you know what i'm feeling a feeling a tie. I'm feeling a tie. $200 on tie.

Because they're trying to hit that $1,800 payoff. And the fluctuations are massive, like up and down. There's no skill, none. In blackjack, it's a game of chance, but you're also looking at what you have and deciding whether you want more cards or not. You're looking at what the dealer has and deciding whether or not you want to compete with that. And also you can count cards. You can keep track of the values of cards that have been dealt out if you're some sort of hyper autistic. You're very skilled, yeah. In Baccarat,

none. You're just betting before you see any cards as to whether you think you'll win or lose. That's how it goes. And that aspect of it is uninteresting to me. I guess even craps feels like it has more skill. You can bet along the way.

You can make decisions. You can counter bets. Like if you have a lot of exposure, you can bet against yourself a little bit at high odds so that if you lose, like it's insurance. It's a bit like roulette. It's a game of pure chance, it seems to me. And so like you, I have zero interest in it. I'm like, I don't want to flip coins for money.

The whole reason I enjoy poker is because I think I'm good at it. Whether I am or not is up for debate. But I really enjoy that aspect of the game, trying to beat the game and trying to beat other players because it can be done. I'm just not sure if I can do it. That's what I enjoy. Like any game, like fucking Call of Duty or Tarkov or anything else like that. You win some, you lose some, and hopefully if you get better at it, you win more than you lose, and it all evens out

to a little bit of money made. But Baccarat? No, I don't see any chance to be the world's greatest Baccarat player. No, we're all tied for world's greatest Baccarat player. No, we're all tied for world's greatest Baccarat. We're all tied. Have you guys watched any of the new season of Rick and Morty?

No, I didn't realize it. The fastest turnaround of a season of Rick and Morty ever. Five episodes are already out. I believe it was less than a year. I could be wrong about that. Roughly a year, I think. It is really getting some mixed reviews from like like like hardcore rick and morty fans they um there's a lot of them that really really hate the new season yeah a friend of mine who's a huge rick and morty

fan like he brought it up like a week or so ago we're having a conversation he's like if you watch rick and morty yet and i'm like no i haven't he's like, have you watched Rick and Morty yet? And I'm like, no, I haven't. He's like, fucking terrible, dude. The first episode was the worst one I've seen in forever. And he is like Mr. Rick and Morty. He loves it. I liked last season when no one else did. I'm not saying it was great. I just liked it more than the

internet seemed to. Especially the second half. Especially the second half of last season. That may be like, I don't know which episodes were the first half or the second half, but I don't know. I rewatched it recently and I thought the second half of last season that may be like i don't know which episodes were the first half of the second half but i don't know i re-watched it recently and i thought the second half got stronger i like this new season of rick and morty and i don't understand why these like prissy bitches are having a problem with the show it's they're like oh there's a whole episode with lots of incest and gross stuff and it's like there's been incest and gross stuff like there's the whole schmoopy land or whatever where like that guy was like fucking the animals and like fucking the

incest babies of the animals and then eating the incest babies like like they love that but all of a sudden like there's a little incest between like uh a couple of the main characters and they're like, oh, gross. Rick and his sister get it on? More do you mean? Let me see. In a way, they did. I've already seen bootleg versions of that on Pornhub. Yeah, that's good stuff.

Thanks for that link, by the way. I've enjoyed this new season. I thought it was good. It is a little different i feel like uh i saw maybe it's emergency awesome is the youtube channel i could be wrong about that i watched so many of these like similar youtube channels but they're like theorizing that we're watching not the same rick and morty that we've been watching you know because there's so many copies of them from the in the multiverse or whatever um and and they're saying that in a show that seems to be

so good at sticking to the details and remembering what they've done in the past and doing those callbacks and stuff, it's kind of odd that Rick and Morty are acting a little different than you would expect them to occasionally. Rick kind of

falls in love with a chick in one episode and it's like wait rick rick said that love is like some chemical reaction that like makes humans want to breed and it's short and fleeting and uh but but now he's like schmooching smooching with like some really gross alien yeah there's some little things like that uh but i've enjoyed it they're sort of like you know you got this you you got Rick and Morty, but obviously you've got the whole family and they're doing a good job this season.

It like putting the whole family in like a bag, shaking them up and like, Oh, this is the episode where it's like, you know, the pairing them off differently, pairing them off in like, like various different ways that are,

they're different. So like in this last episode, Morty and his sister and another guy just go on a whole adventure of their own in Rick's car. And it's kind of a Ferris Bueller's Day Off parody where they steal the car and go off and do some stuff. And they also rip off Hellraiser. I don't know. I've enjoyed this season. I don't think it's that bad.

I don't think it's like the best shit they've ever done or anything. But you can't hold any show in any season to that sort of standard. It's not going to always be the best episode ever. So you think it's definitely a tear down, but not as bad as people are saying, I don't know. I don't know if I'd say a tear down. It's just like every episode is not going to be your best episode.

I've enjoyed several of the episodes and the incest episode in particular. I really liked, um, I thought that one was kind of cool. It was, it was super random. It was kind of like all over the place and lots of weird shit was happening. They all of a sudden introduced the Chuds, this subterranean race of horse people who apparently we've been at war with for a long, long time. Isn't that from a sci-fi movie?

Yeah, yeah. There's a sci-fi movie about the Chuds. But I don't think it's horse people. It's something else. In this universe, apparently think it's horse people it's it's like it's something else uh and and this universe apparently it's horse people and they are ridiculous and uh and rick force fucks the princess of the horse people and she gives birth to a rick horse person hybrid just right there on camera wow i can't believe you just spoiled that integral plot point well Rick and Morty. We got the spoilers thing rolling right back. That applies to you too.

That's not just for them. That's not just for them. Can you imagine getting mad at the show like Rick and Morty being spoiled? Couldn't care less. Unless it's like a major thing. Like if it was like, turns out Evil Morty was a dream. They reveal it next episode. It's super lame.

I don't really need to know that. I kind of wanted to figure that out on my own. Dude dude i can't believe you told me at the end of the episode there was going to be another 25 second vignette about nihilism what god now i can't even enjoy it pretty much yeah uh but yeah i don't know why they're freaking out i think it's pretty good um it's not the best shit ever but it's good it's and it's and like being grossed out by the incest is fucking bizarre because like they have made incest jokes every third episode for the last five years like like i i could count them on i could count them on one hand i guess but it's like i said it's every five every three or four episodes they make an incest joke and it's usually

about morty and his sister yeah well that's's stupid. That's dumb to be mad at. I'll watch it. My buddy just said he was like, it's just not as funny. It's not making me laugh as much. Can't pass judgment there. If it's not making him laugh as much, it's not making him laugh as much. Maybe he's becoming a man.

Maybe he's becoming a hard laugh. Maybe he's becoming one of those guys who like, ah like i'll laugh if you force me you better be amazingly funny or i'm not laughing who are those guys i don't want to hang out with those guys right fuck that guy yeah you know i could be like that sometimes like like i i i you know it doesn't always make me... It makes me laugh three times an episode or something. Four times an episode. You're doing okay if you do that.

I've been watching... I'd never watched it before. I think I'd watched one episode ever. The original Office with Ricky Gervais. Oh, yeah. Have you ever watched that? Oh, yeah. It was first.

They only did like two they only did like 12 episodes or something and like it is way more it's first of all it's way fucking funnier than the american office and second it is way raunchier than the american office like i feel like they don't start making jokes that like ricky gervais is making like season two like talking about like I would never molest you you're a subordinate of mine you know a sub you know like just whatever the fuck you would

say and it's like that it wasn't like until like season seven Michael Scott that it was established that he was an actual retarded person and he could get away with saying anything like that you know maybe it's definitely recency bias what am I saying the American version is a good show too I'm not ripping on it but I don't know there's like that. Maybe it's definitely recency bias. What am I saying? The American version is a good show too. I'm not ripping on it,

but I don't know. There's like a flavor to it that I like. Ricky Gervais is a better, more believable shitty boss. And I think largely it's because you never see Ricky Gervais leave that unattractive, fat, bad-toothed stage like Michael Scott did with his hair

and his progression. If Michael Scott were committed to the craft, he would have let himself absolutely go. I think people like Michael Scott more after he improved. And one of my favorite, I thought it was interesting that you couldn't quite put your finger on whether he was hopeless or not. Right.

Like it, but I'll take the, the episode where they go to Chili's and Michael Scott lands the sale. You know, I think it was Pam. He was with, didn't want to go to Chili's. Thought it was a terrible idea for the customer,

but Mike read the customer or just was a fit and, you know, nailed it with that. And, um, there are a bunch of times where, Oh, was it Jan who,

who did it wrong? Cause then they hook up. Cause she's like blown. Not only has she had Because then they hook up. Because she's like blown... Not only has she had so many margaritas, but she's like blown away. She's like, holy shit. Michael can sell. I'd have never sold this guy.

Michael did it. Yeah. It's a big deal for her. When Michael Scott leaves, starts his own company, and then he's like negotiating. He was competent. He did a good job. Probably better than I could have done.

There are a bunch of times where like, this guy's an idiot who doesn't seem to understand how to use a George Foreman grill without burning his foot. And then other times this guy's a genius who's able to breed people. I like that dichotomy. One of the best episodes to lay that out. It's kind of the point of the episode. It's the episode that has the pretzel cart downstairs where it's free pretzel day and uh it also happens to be the day that jan has tasked pam with not only keeping an eye on michael but writing down everything he does like minute by like like basically taking minutes on the meeting that is michael's day and it's like and it she's pam's like showing the

camera it's like nothing he's done nothing all day like there's a nap time at one point like like there's like there's like just nothing he's done nothing and he's been waiting in line for the pretzel for three fucking hours and when he gets upstairs he gets the pretzel with everything it's like cotton candy and chocolate sauce and caramel and m&ms and everything and when he gets upstairs, he gets the pretzel with everything. It's like cotton candy and chocolate sauce and caramel and M&Ms and everything. And when he eats the pretzel, he's on such a sugar high that he like sells the fuck out of some client. He's like, Mr. Anderson, let's make a deal. Let's make a deal today. Are we going to make a deal? Let's make a deal.

And like at the end of the day, he's like all tuckered out from the sugar crash. And he's like, here, Pam, this is a, this is the Anderson sale. She's like, this is a huge sale. It's like here pam this is uh this is the anderson sale she's like this is a huge sale it's like yeah yeah he's he re-upped for three years it's uh i'm gonna go get some sleep she's just like looking in one hand like he's done nothing all day on the other hand on the other hand he's made like a career making sale what do i do with these two pieces of information? I like it. That is true. I like the surprise competition. I want to see that one again. I want to remember it.

That's great. I'm looking for a rewatch of that show. I know, Kyle, you will rewatch it like twice a year. I don't think I've watched through the full series of The Office in seven or eight years. Yeah. Now that's on Peacock. At first, I bought Peacock because I happened to be in the middle of a binge watch of the whole thing. But once I finished that up, I unsubscribedubscribe from peacock and uh i don't know i may just buy the whole thing on dvd so i just own it and uh and and don't have to be like paying for a monthly

service for literally one show because i don't watch any of that other stuff on nbc really so yeah i may just do that i got got my handlebars fixed on my bike. It was super simple. Did you do it yourself? Just take it apart, put it back? It wasn't even that hard. I loosened two bolts on the handlebars and just turned them all the way to the right and then some more and just kept going until everything was straight and then tighten the

bolts back up and went for a ride. It was all good. It wasn't bent for sure. It's fixed now, you know. Oh, yeah. No bend. It had just sort of like, you know, it's clamped and had slipped in its clampy thing. And it twisted, not bent for sure.

But yeah, got it all straightened out. And I could have ridden it the other way. It was just like, I don't know. It was wonky. It was wonky. You don't want to deal with that. I know it's the middle of July in Georgia, but have you been riding very much? I've gone out twice more.

I watched some YouTube videos about sort of counterbalancing and turning. And I went to a parking lot and did figure eights for about an hour the other day. And then I just sort of zipped up and down the road a little bit. I went for maybe 20 miles or something like that nothing like super crazy like 10 miles out and back again and uh but yeah it's been super hot and then it's been raining too um i was gonna go today it's kind of rained like all day or drizzled all day and uh i could go in the rain with the gear i have but it's like i don't think i want to add a another factor to my learning process so i'm just going to sit that out cool but yeah it's been really hot like you said so i've been sort of um going um in the early morning hours i've considered going at night um so

i may try that on for size although in georgia you got the fucking animals and if i hit a goddamn deer it's going to be a real crash so that's true. I'm telling you about deer. I realize who I'm talking to. Sunset is deer time. That's when they seem to come out and approach the roads. I never really noticed that before motorcycling. They're waking up and

just becoming active. Are they nocturnal? Yes. Not all of them. I know there's at least some that are around during the day. I see them. You see them during dusk and dawn, and you'll see them more during the day if you're in an area where there are absolutely no predators,

and especially if there's no hunters. If you're in, I don't know, maybe in Raleigh. Right near my house, yeah. Yeah if if nobody's fucking with them for generations and they just sort of get uh more complacent they'll they'll come out during more during the day but you know we would hunt it's dusk and dawn you know it's like the 30 minutes before uh uh sunset and the 30 minutes uh after sunrise was kind of like when we expected to see them maybe a little little more maybe an hour um i well an hour before yeah something like that but uh but yeah they're pretty nocturnal uh except it and that that's why hunters like really like uh the rut which is the

breeding season for the uh for the deer how do you spell that what is that word r-u-t okay okay um because the bucks get really crazy and uh they don't give a fuck anymore and so they'll just like caution to the wind and just be chasing after like a female and not really pay attention to anything else whereas normally especially the ones that you actually want to kill like a deer that has big antlers that means it's an older deer it's five six years old they learn a lot of stuff in those five or that means it's an older deer. It's five, six years old. They learn a lot of stuff in those five or six years. It's kind of easy to kill like a two-year-old deer, whereas a five or six-year-old deer, he's seen some shit. Like he's probably seen one of his buddies get blasted before.

He's like a Vietnam vet. He hears something that doesn't sound right. He smells like human. He's on it. He's out of there. doesn't sound right. He smells like human. He's on it. He's out of there.

They also seem to be more likely to not come out on those 30 minutes before or after sun. They'll just wait until it's down or get out of there before it's up. But during the rut, they're just all about getting laid. They're running around chasing does.

I think my blood pressure is high. I guess i know it's high because i measured it but were you feeling bad or something i it tested high at the doctor's office which i went because i broke my finger and uh i was like all right you know like it tested high twice in a row. The first one I just kind of brushed off because like I do this thing where like I sit, I posture, I relax and like sort of slow my breathing and I improve my pulse and blood pressure scores. And maybe it sounds crazy. Maybe it's not effective, but like, yeah, I just sort of chill, take my posture and I usually crush it on those skills all the time.

And I got like a stupidly high score, like one 37. And I was like, like that, that's not typical. I don't know. I'm going to write it off as a mistake as like, you know,

either they measured it incorrectly or maybe I'm like, and they didn't give me time to settle. Like they're taught on, they're actively questioning me during the blood pressure exam. So I was like all right that one's an outlier just ignore it and then the second one was also kind of highish like 130 low 132 make it and um i was like oh are you my blood pressures i don't know like and i do eat a fuckload of salt like i eat a lot of plain foods trying to and salt has no calories in it. And we've established on the show, which is a good scientific reference, that salt is good for you.

And so I just like – I know I just told you guys I eat a fuckload of salt. So whatever your estimate is, bump it up. Bump it up because I eat a fuckload of salt. And so I got this home test where i was able to like do it i sat down for five minutes did nothing tested it i got 130 over 82 and uh i'm like you know what this is like three scores in a row that all say it's high like at some point you have to stop blaming the thermometer you know because it's telling you the temperature's high. So I'm going to cut back on salt, see what difference it makes.

It is probably the culprit. Go ahead, Kyle. So I have two products. This one would probably be good because I know you like to do chicken a lot. So you get a ton of different flavors. Oh, is that the potassium salt substitute thing? Yeah. Flavor mate salt seasoning.yle's trying to kill me like this before and then um this one uh is really good for cooking like if you were making like jackie's famous chili or uh or like some sort of soup

or stew or something like that it's really only good if you like put it in like something that's like actively being stirred and sort of cooked together, it, what I mean is it's not like a, a topping salt, like, like you would like sprinkle salt on mashed potatoes. I wouldn't do that with that salt because it just always tastes funny. And it,

it's going to look bizarre. It looks like, it looks like, like, like you just like, uh, you know, when the waiter in a fancy restaurant comes over with that little,

a clip and like scrapes up all the crumbs? Yeah, I do know that thing. Yeah, it's like a letter opener or something. Yeah, that's what comes out of this container when you shake it. It's really bizarre looking. There's like chunks of stuff. It's weird. But it's called Benson's Table Tasty Salt Substitute.

And it's actually no potassium chloride. It's something else. I appreciate that. I just ordered both of them. So it'll get here. Yeah. I use the table tasty. I use them both actually. It fixed my blood pressure when mine was high, like a long time ago. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know what I'm exercising. Like I read that if you don't have any caffeine then you return to it your blood pressure can be high for like a window which would be the window i'm in because i didn't have any while i

was on my trip uh i didn't have coffee or anything so maybe i don't know i don't know but like like i said three high scores in a row yeah sums up. Wait, did you say that you, uh, where did you test it the second time? Do you have a cuff? Yeah, I bought, I did a little Google search of best cuff. It was a hundred dollars. So I don't think it's garbage.

And, um, and I tested it and it has a thing where it measures three times to get a more accurate score. Does it? I'm wondering if we have the same cuff. It has a little digital readout. It's a little box like this and, uh, plugs into the wall, but it's got one of those like a USB that plugs into it, maybe.

Yeah, it connects to my phone. I can find a link quickly. Oh, that's nicer than what I have. Mine does not connect to my phone, but I've got a cuff as well. I check it every now and then, make sure everything's all good. Got to stay on top of your health make sure you're you know this is the one that i bought um maybe it was what's the sweet home and they connect with like wire cutter uh they rated this is the best one and since i had cause to believe i might have a blood pressure problem i wanted a good one so yeah much better than mine i got the 31 one i'm looking now okay yeah but um seems to do seems to work uh and the the way i figure it's like with something like that it's like if i test myself twice in a row are the numbers the same

because at the very least we're getting like even if the numbers aren't accurate we're getting the trend is exactly like a scale even like like ah yes if the if the if the numbers are the same every time then you could you've got the trend and uh and it's it's it's working in that regard but yeah um the salt substitute probably thing will probably take care of it and do you drink gatorade or water uh water and sometimes coffee yeah those are like the only fluids i drink yeah you don't drink a lot of caffeine either so like you probably have a couple cups of coffee a day that's real yeah that's nothing that's yeah that's not too much i don't do like like a pill would be oftentimes it's like four cups of coffee does that sound right or two and a half? Yeah. It depends on the coffee.

The pills like 200 milligrams. And I want to say coffee is somewhere between 50 and like 85, depending on coffee is like 80. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I have those pills, but I, it's really uncommon that I take them.

Like last one was probably April. So yeah, for sure. Yeah. It can vary. But yeah, that, that'll do the trick.

That's all I can think for, for blood pressure. Yeah. Other than all I can think for blood pressure. Yeah. Other than like going on like a blood pressure medication, which you don't want to do this early stage. Your doctor would have said if it was like a real problem. It's like early. It's in that like yellow area.

Yeah, yeah. For people who don't know the numbers, 120 over 80 is what perfect is. Less than that's not perfect. More than that's not perfect. 120 over 80 is what you want. If the top number is in the 120s, then you want to get it lower, but you're probably pretty cool. 129 maybe is not as cool as 123, but you're nothing extreme. At 130, that's stage one hypertension hypertension so 130 through 139 is like

get your shit together and i'm on the very start of that 130 yep oh a vasodilator might help too little uh little blue chew daily blue chew with hard dick and and healthy additional benefits right yeah i mean the pound town, I mean, it really will help. It literally will. Yeah. I mean,

it didn't lower your blood pressure. I want to say that's what it was originally for was blood pressure medication. And they were like, Oh, these blood pressure patients have some very hard penises. And then they like ran in like, sir,

we've invented so much more than we intended. Look at my dick. We'll see what the salt reduction does and play it by ear. Speaking of dicks, did you see Bezos go to space today? Yes. Why is everybody hating on him? I saw

the top post on Reddit. It was like, hey, Amazon and warehouse employees, Jeff Bezos is his face right now. So if you have to go to the bathroom, now's your chance. Oh, now's your time to go take a couple of precious minutes in the pre-suicide booth.

There's like a fake Zen plant and like cameras everywhere. It's like, if you kill yourself on company time, your family will be responsible for the loss of productivity. I'm torn on the Bezos hate. On one hand, he is super rich, super duper crazy rich. Him, Elon Musk. It's like they're all they have an unfathomable amount of money.

One billion is an unfathomable amount of money. If you have a billion, even just one billion or half of one, it's more money, but you can't waste that much in a single lifetime. It's a lot. This guy is maybe 168 billion, something like that. And I sort of get the whole like, dude, you could do better things. On the other hand, if a self-made man enjoys his toys, shut the fuck up. Right? Like, why would you fuss at that? He's employing people in his toy usage. He's maybe furthering science. I don't know.

No one gave him that money. He earned it. I guess. You have to pay taxes on it. He doesn't write tax code. He doesn't write the tax code. No, he just pays for the politicians and puts them in office who do. He's not responsible for the system.

He's playing the game by the rules that are set out for him. That's like, oh, what are you doing double jumping me? It's checkers, motherfucker. Do you want to play chess? We can change games. No, it's like you're the government being the blackjack dealer, and I'm the richest man alive, and I go go to 22 and you're about to say you busted and I give you $100 million and go, you played a 22 in blackjack and you go, you played a 22 in blackjack. Blackjack, you win 500 million back. I was kind of like that. Did you get that up on the spot?

Yes. They have so much control over shit. There's got to be videos out there of Lindsey Graham doing some things. I will hang my hat on that. We know this. We all know this. That guy is sucking cock. Taylor, Taylor,

I am a confirmed bachelor and that has nothing to do with my persuasions. Just because I have no political courage ever and I pivot to wherever people say that there's some sort of video of me getting butt-fucked by a bunch of people at the Nigerian embassy, that's absurd.

Taylor, Taylor, I'll have you know I love the pussy. I love it. That would be the best test for you don't remember that black mirror episode uh where it's like you have to fuck the pig except for lindsey graham it's like he has to fuck a woman he's crying he's crying a woman everybody's watching in pubs being sad for gay great gay sex yeah that guy sucks yeah well anyway i think you make a good point with the tax code and the system being rigged on some level i believe at least a bunch of that but i don't hold it against him it's not this isn't a bezos is bad thing this is a bezos is playing

the game thing politicians are bad the government is bad bezos is just making money playing by the fucking rules that are set out for him and and and the things that are given to him he's using all the tools in his toolbox i look they're like oh amazon workers have to like piss in bottles and they have to work these long hours quit quit go go work? That's up to you. But you don't get to tell businesses that existed a year and a half ago. You don't get to tell Jeff Bezos that he's got to like, oh, come on. If he's like following all the rules,

if like he's giving them the required amount of bathroom breaks that is legal, if there is such a fucking amount. That is dark. I don't think it's dark at all. They're like, oh, you've got lots of money. Give them extra long bathroom breaks. Why? So I'm less profitable and someone can make more money than me?

No. No. You should be able to shit comfortably. It's not like they're spending 40 minutes in there. If they get more fiber in their diet, they won't need so long. I sometimes think that Bezos is the point person for all this criticism but people who say de-feather chickens is that done by a machine

now I'm not sure but like the poultry industry has had lousy jobs for a long time and everyone's talking about the Amazon warehouse when it's like there's a lot of lousy jobs out there that is true there's a lot of shit jobs but there's so many shit jobs out there. That is true. There's a lot of shit jobs.

There's so many shit jobs. There are so many of those small business... There are so many small businessmen who have been taking advantage of workers for generations. They are the best. Yeah, can you... We always say, oh, small business is the best business. Why?

Come on. I love my... I bought some shit on Amazon today. I was like one-handed, one eye open, like slide my finger from the left to the right, and this shit is getting charged to my Amazon credit card where I get 5% back, and it will be here fucking tomorrow, and I needed all this stuff. Just now Kyle gave me two links for salt substitutes, and I put in motion a chain of human suffering that will get that shit to me in two days. I don't care about Amazon workers.

I don't care if they're literally dying in the plant. I don't fucking care. If you don't like it, quit your fucking job. We've given you plenty of ways here on this show to better your life if you want a different job. Become a fucking truck driver. It's so easy to get your CDL, it hurts.

Start your own podcast, idiot. I was just at the DMV. I saw the people getting CDLs. Y'all can get CDLs if that guy can get a CDL. I wonder how much you make an hour at Uber Eats or DoorDash or Postmates. A decent amount of money. I know people who do it, and they usually do three similar things at the same time. They're driving an Uber while doing Uber Eats or Postmates and DoorDash, and they're delivering groceries.

So at any moment, they have three things to pick from. Oh, this will make me the most money. Or this is closest to me. We'll use the less gas. That whole gig structure is still a very stressful way to make a living. If they're just driving around working on three different apps, and it's kind of just you, you have to deal with more business. Oh, what would our forefathers think? What would our forefathers think? It's an interesting topic.

Is it stressful? I mean, it would be stressful for people. Really? You don't know next week's like to I trap furs in the Northwest Passage It's not stressful at all Bob got scalped last week You can't complain about anything

If it's easier than fighting bears 200 years ago I'm just saying Things are going to be stressful Like you say I don't know next week's income. So there's some stress in there. But also I get to dip my toe into how hard I work.

And that is like a stress relaxation a little bit. You know, like there's some guys who just fucking balls to the wall at work all the time. I've been there. And then other guys who are like, you know what? This week, 25 hours. Suck a dick. No one's mad. No one's frustrated. You get to choose how hard you're working.

There's something to be said for that. I just think there's lots of things you can do if you don't want to work for Jeff Bezos. You could go into sales. Like I always say, do that fucking HVAC repair gig where you go to a very cheap school for two years

and all of a sudden you're making a ridiculously nice wage. Side note that two years of schooling is in the infrastructure bill the Democrats are maybe going to pass. It's not expensive anyway. Community college.

Tech schools and community college. This isn't like when you're going to some fucking university and we're talking about 50 60 70 000 a semester or a year or whatever this is like pennies like this is real cheap shit this is like it's achievable right i'm not it's not easy like you had to put time into it and i'm guessing you spend like six grand a year you know on this education for two years something like that i might be wrong but you know call me close um but if you're trying to set up the rest of your life and six grand a year is the like cost to make it happen you can do that i've just seen too many people i've just seen too many people. I've just seen too many people who, who worked hard and didn't quit succeed to,

to, to feel sorry for someone who doesn't like the amount of bathroom breaks they got working for Jeff Bezos. Like my cousin, Scott had to get his, um, what do you, uh,

what do you, when you don't have a high school, when you have a GED, you had to get his GED because he got in so much fucking trouble in high school. They kicked him out. Right. He went, he went and got it. And then he went to tech school and now he's like a master. He had to get his GED because he got in so much fucking trouble in high school they kicked him out, right? He went and got it, and then he went to tech school, and now he's like a master nuclear welder or something.

And when you count the time and a half or double time and the hours that he works, that guy works teacher hours. You know how a teacher works really four months a year? That's what he does. Maybe one month a year. I mean, kids' scores are going down. What are they doing? How did he go to tech school? Took a student loan.

He took a loan. Did that loan provide his cost of living while he was in school? Do you know? No. He worked a job to do that. so he worked a job borrowed money for tuition and then on the other side of that he had a whole new income bracket and was able to you know oh yeah like twelve thousand dollars or whatever fifteen thousand whatever school cost was like a month's way yeah a month's pay like when he when he works, if he travels to Alabama to do some big job, he's working crazy hours, but he's making like $18,000 a month or something like that.

Sometimes that's nice. If you were to ask me, Woody, do you want to work balls to the wall for a month and have two off or just eight hours a day for three months? I might take the first. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he does. He, he,

um, and sometimes he takes a little more time off than he, than he should. Cause like, you know, he'll, he'll, he'll go balls to the wall for two or three months and he'd be like,

Hmm, it's $90,000 enough to last me the rest of the year. Only one way to find out. And sometimes he's like, it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. Turns out I live like a man who earns 120 grand a year. I shouldn't have bought that second truck.

Second truck? A third truck? Well, I guess that's a... It was a Roush racing truck. It has an amazing resale value. If I could get my money right back out. Invest in cars. Is that an old school PKA reference?

I thought it might have been. I still wonder what the mystery was to that truck. I'll lay it out for people who don't know the backstory. Wings bought a truck. It was lightly used and then it was had some sort of roush racing parts on it i never knew the details but he bought it thinking it was like a stock truck and then realized it was an enhanced truck and wondered what kind of gem he had his hands on and He wanted to sell it for a premium amount.

I'm not sure he ever did, but I wonder what he had. What was this gem? I don't know. I'll never know. I don't know either. It may not have existed. I saw a picture of him next to it. It may have been his neighbor's truck or something. I don't know. Some new

layers. Maybe it got stolen along with his.50 cal or something. I don't know. Maybe it got stolen along with his.50 cal or something. I don't know. Probably got shot in the whole scuffle. You never know. Well, that was fun. I look forward to PKA

this week. I have more topics. Other things I want to talk about, but we're just out of time. We're just out of time. I have a topic too, but I'm saving it for the big show. Good guess this week. And next week and the week after. Guess lined up. Mm-hmm.

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