Painkiller Already - PKN 369

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

pkn 369 norm mcdonald just died like a few hours ago uh yeah yeah i saw the notification i texted you guys i guess i was last to the party you know his 9-11 jokes were always great i don't think he did a show obviously this week because he was dying um but uh but he always had like he always had you know his weird way of like dancing around 9-11 and just making it awkward so that somebody else would just be like yeah he's like it's uh 9-11 that was kind of awkward wasn't it i don't know if i'd describe it as awkward as much as like a horrible national tragedy yeah that's what i said it's just like just making it real fucking awkward for the other guy like Nobody knows how to handle that.

I don't know. I always liked Norm, his way of making people feel uncomfortable. Obviously, his SNL stuff back in the day. The whole bit where OJ was declared innocent. And he's like, well, that's official. Murder is legal in California. Dude, so my favorite Norm MacDonald I just read. Norm MacDonald on Battles with Cancer.

I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time. That's not a loss. That's a draw. Good one. That's a good one. I'm trying to find this one where he's like, he was in an interview from years ago. And he's like, I find myself thinking about my deathbed all the time. I'm obsessing with it. And they're like, why do you know, thinking about my deathbed all the time. You know, I'm obsessing with it. And they're like, why do you find yourself thinking about your deathbed?

And he's like, well, I never should have bought one. He was great. He's one of my favorite comedians all time. He like just the stick-to- itiveness to like make people really uncomfortable and even if like the joke was not paying off to like no we're all in this together now because nobody's gonna say anything until i say something worse and worse that oh no he just fucking drag shit on for so long that the joke was this isn't even funny that's because you don't feel uncomfortable at things that's it's not about me it's about like it's just taking too long you're not telling a joke you don't have any

material and you're just dragging this shit on forever i liked it and i felt like you ran out of jokes just kept doing that bit over and like for the last 10 years of his life all he did was that well except only on on like those talking head shows like he would go on there and the purpose of those jokes was to make jimmy kimmel jimmy fallon conan the joke was played on them because they're the ones sitting there stressed out that they're not getting the words per minute and they're like please norm. And Norm's just like hanging them out to dry. Like he's fucking. Those are 90 seconds. What he's doing is he's creating bad content.

And they're getting stressed that there's bad content on. And he's just creating more bad content. And he did that for 10 years. And it's like, bro, you're out of jokes. He did a lot more than that. He was great on stage, too. I'm just trying to stay consistent. Look, I had this energy when he was alive.

I'll have this energy when he's dead. You've been a long time, Norm MacDonald hater. We're fully aware. But I mean, look, Norm MacDonald, Robin Williams, they had it coming, as Woody likes to say. Yes, yes. They were built for this. Norm MacDonald is way funnier than Robin Williams ever was.

Way funnier. It's different kinds of humor. Of course. It's like saying ice cream is way better than cheeseburgers, dude. What are you talking about? Well, that's just wrong. Everybody knows that. I'd much rather have burgers.

Some people like sweet. Some people like savory. And Robin Williams was sweet and Norm Macdonald was savory. And we're all a little poorer today because he's gone from this sick world of ours at the young age of 61. Yeah, and apparently he had, it doesn't even say what kind of cancer, but I guess he's been battling up and down with it for almost 10 years. And it is a very norm thing. I think everywhere is what kind of cancer it was.

It's a very norm thing to like not want to play into the sympathy of it. Like he didn't want to be a cancer comedian where like everybody felt bad for him and so like it's totally in his like I guess character to keep it secret. Like I don't even

think apparently he didn't even like tell family. I went the opposite way on it. Like you're like it's a very norm thing to stoically battle this privately and be such a hero I bet it was an embarrassing cancer what's an embarrassing cancer? dick cancer, penis cancer, rectal cancer

dude if Norman Donald had had asshole cancer he would have made bit after bit about it he had a boring cancer I guarantee if it ever comes out I bet he had like like lung like maybe lung i don't know it didn't his voice seemed to like stay steady over the years but like if he'd had like an embarrassing cancer he'd have had so many jokes about it i i think i i like to imagine that i hope we find out what kind of cancer it was because i'm curious is to my knee jerk reaction was that played into why he kept it a secret.

Perhaps. I don't know. If you have skin cancer, that's not an embarrassing one. Lung cancer is not that embarrassing. Lung cancer is often self-inflicted, so maybe a little more on the embarrassing scale. But if that guy was like, I've got a cancer that prevents my dick from

getting hard, he keeps it on the down low. That would be a horrible kind of cancer wouldn't prostate cancer do that i just made that up but wouldn't maybe you come a lot because no you don't need your prostate to get hard your prostate's just making uh hormones the shit that your that your sperm swims in yeah it makes all that fluid all that seminal fluid but you don't need a prostate to get hard no because people get their whole prostate removed. Yeah, they get their prostates removed. The whole problem is it gets bigger as you get older,

and it presses on your urethra. I've never thought of a cancer as an embarrassing time. Nearly all men will experience some erectile dysfunction the first few months after prostate cancer. Well, that's probably just because they're bummed out. Give me any kind of cancer. I'm going to be gonna be like man my dick isn't even getting hard i have cancer uh that 9-11 um memorial type thing they did in indiana no what they do they had one of those like parades where you know you drag the floats behind trucks and And the towers fall.

Somebody built the twin towers and there's planes jutting out of them and they're on fire. That is so funny. And the crowd's like, it's kind of fucked up, no? Like, what the fuck? There was a politician that did it. Let me see.

How can you do that? They just accidentally hire one internet shit poster who shows up like, no, no, trust me. Trust me. Same thing last year for Spokane. They loved it. They were like, oh, it's on YouTube. I'll find it.

Indiana 9-11. Sure, that'd do it. Yeah, it's... Sponsored by the Valparaiso Republicans. I don't know who Valparaiso is. Probably some local sheriff or something. Yeah, I don't know about that one. Probably someone who didn't know about the flaming planes jutting out

until it turned the ban on Indiana away. Yeah. You'd be like, oh, no. Okay, well, how do we make this seem not fucked up can we blame this on a muslim somehow there was a uh a covert muslim op now thank god because of the tsa they're just fucking with monuments now instead of blowing up more bills but it's you know like like were you ever in or like take part in one of those little parades and you're sitting your hometown where like i guess you guys are from bigger towns but like i'm from that tiny

little town so like our christmas parade you'd have like just like in this video if we find it like pickup trucks and tractors would pull like trailers that had like a float built on yeah no i've never been part of one of those and there'd be people on there like throwing candy like i was in the boy scouts so like one year i was on the float throwing candy and i was fucking chucking it at people like you're supposed to just like toss it to them but i'm just like beating people with like hard candy those little you know those little uh candies that look like strawberries they've got like the red part of the strawberry those suck the twisty thing is the green little tassel yeah i like those candies by the way chucking those chucking starbursts at kids

it's a good time only the bad though. Your pockets are filled with pink. Oh, I don't like Starbursts. I didn't mean Starbursts. I actually meant Jolly Rancher. I hate Starbursts. They make me sick. Really? Skittles and Starbursts. I think as a kid I would always just eat a bunch. Good candies. Those are high quality. Way better than

fucking Jolly Ranchers. I know you didn't put forward Jolly Ranchers are that good. I don't like Jolly Ranchers. I love Jolly Ranchers. They were one of the treats that we were often provided for doing well in class. So like those cherry and watermelon Jolly Ranchers like big deal for me back in the day. I had to stop eating Jolly Ranchers. I broke many a bracket on my braces

by just Jolly Ranchers. I did. The way that I ate them is I would sink my like molars into them, but slowly you would slowly like melt your molars into it and then upon opening your mouth again it would take the bracket with it so you know when you get like new um when you get your braces tightened up how like wherever it's like doing work it's like kind of like itchy and sore that combination of like itchy and sore because the teeth are being

moved um and uh we had like infinite had infinite amounts of deer jerky because whenever we kill a deer, we would take it to this guy and in the back of his house, I'm like, hey, here's a deer. He's like, ah, here's five huge bags of deer jerky freeze-dried. He's not going to make jerky out of our deer. It's a whole process. He's got a stack of it.

We would do this in trade to him because we don't want the deer anyway. Sometimes we'd be like, we don't want the deer anyway. Like the, sometimes we'd be like, we've got plenty. We put it in the toolbox of the truck and there would just be, I don't want to exaggerate, but 10 pounds of beef jerky easily back there.

There's bags upon bags and bags of it. And this stuff was so goddamn tough. And we'd be hunting. And I'd just be like breaking my, essentially taking my braces off. Cause they hurt. I just like in the corners my – essentially taking my braces off because they hurt. In the corners of my mouth where my canines were, I could just effectively tear the braces off. When we ran out, I'd just slice up an old tire and do the same thing.

Yeah. It was so goddamn tough. Realistically, you probably should have just put it in your mouth and let it soften from saliva. It was that tough. Is it tough because of his process of making it or the nature of deer it's the process that these make because you can make it like more like chewy you know and like soft but honestly that kind of jerky always grossed me out just a little bit it's like why there's a little too much moisture and it's supposed to be dry like what's this liquid i'm

eating is that is this like jerky super bad for you i always look at lots of sodium turn my nose lots of sodium but they use lean cuts of beef and they use liquid smoke, that flavoring stuff, and things like Worcestershire sauce and things like that. But if I were to eat, sometimes we have chicken breast already

cooked in the refrigerator and all this nibble on that. It's pretty much a protein meal. It's not super fatty. It's calories, but it's not bad for you. This is just chicken breast. Is beef jerky far from that? As far as snacks go,

it's not bad for you. You can eat a whole bag of it and it's less than a bag of Lay's as far as calories go. I think the main concern is just how much sodium is in there because they use salty stuff to draw out the moisture and create the jerky. That's part of the process. I think the broadcaster says sodium is fine.

Have all you want. Well, I mean, in moderation, everything in moderation. You just keep up with your blood pressure. When your blood pressure gets high, then you cut the salt down. Now he's coming off like a sissy boy. I liked it better when he died on the cross of sodium i mean salt is good for you you need you need your electrolytes you need the you need five times as much as they say that's what i always say five times yeah well i mean it was only trying to

you need you need 10 grams of salt a day like i know that I'm the youngest one here, and it was taught up until I was in high school that they're like, yeah, if you want to be healthy, you need, what was it? Seven to 11 servings of bread a day. And then maybe a half teaspoon of olive oil once a week. That was just put forth as like, well, you want to be healthy, don't you? Have you eaten your loaf of bread today? it's like the base of the food pyramid flowers and grains and really it was because a bunch of farmers lobbied back in the day like we got a lot of this shit and they're like what if we tell these dumb asses to eat a loaf of bread a day and then the new food pyramid had no marketing value. They're like, all right, a core building block is the legumes.

And everyone's like, wait, the what now? Yeah. Boo! Make bread healthy again. I just, I don't know. I still don't know how legumes are different than vegetables. I know they're kind of like beans and stuff. Yeah, it's like a bean, but not, it's like a bean or a pea.

It's more protein. Bean, bean. Well, there is protein, right? You know, in legumes, right? Like peanuts or legumes you're right i don't i don't know you see that's my issue with the with the new pyramid they should use foods that woody you know i was just watching like a like a one of those documentaries on youtube and they were talking about like the uh um like like after the meteor that like fuck the dinosaurs like the the the things that like allowed life to come back and and the big thing that allowed animals to take another step and go from two-pound animals to 50-pound animals was the evolution of the legume.

Because now the little critters had protein bars, essentially, in the form of beans and such. Whereas before, they were just eating conifers and seeds. Then it was meat that they think is the reason that humans were able to become smarter, right? They say that, but I also watched another documentary last night. This is funny. These are both topical today.

They were talking about how the chimpanzees eat meat. And they're not. We don't see them going to work every day doing a 9-5. But they hunt down monkeys and eat them alive. Meat is a big part of their diet. Man, we better hope they don't get smarter. They would destroy us.

I don't know. They could get our voices smart and not be half as smart as me. That's true. Do the math. As long as we secure the 100 gun advantage we can't if they ever try to if they ever figure out guns we're in a lot of trouble lately i honestly think so but you know they're talking about that tribe of uh chimpanzees and wherever the fuck and how like that split off into two tribes one smaller than the other and

they essentially went to war to the point where like they would plan ambushes and they were clearly like in a state of war where like this side would like be like, they would clearly be getting together and like going to war to like go get the other ones. Like, it's not like they just came upon them at the watering hole and we're like, Oh,

we got to fight it out. Let's do it. They would like, everybody would get together, get all hyped up and then travel like a long distance to where the others lived, ambush them and like, oh, we got to fight it out. Let's do it. They would like, everybody would get together, get all hyped up, and then travel like a long distance to where the others lived, ambush them, and like fuck them up. This is so funny. I'm looking at this.

It is the Gombe Chimpanzee War from January 29, 1974 to June 5, 1978. It says, belligerents, the Kahama chimpanzees versus the Caskella chimpanzees. Commanders and leaders, Hugh and Charlie for the Kahama, andes versus the Caskella chimpanzees. Commanders and leaders. Hugh and Charlie for the Kahama, and then Humphrey for the Caskella.

Strength, one side had six males, three females. The other had eight males, 12 females. The winning side lost but one. And then the casualties on the losing side are ten killed, three missing, and three enslaved. Oh, why? I didn't see that coming. I didn't either. And so, yeah, I guess they took them as slaves.

That was like, I know it's not the same clip because this is the 70s, but there is that YouTube clip of a war or a conflict with chimps similar to this where they get one of the scouts from the other side and they just hold him down and rip his balls off and start eating his hands and his fingers. It's pretty gruesome. It's gruesome, yeah. Chimpanzees are scary beings.

But yeah, the thing has always been that meat and approaching the diet was the thing that allowed us to separate ourselves from the lower hominids. It's got to be fire, though. It's got to be cooked meat, uh it's got to be that yeah yeah i guess the cooking lets you utilize more of it and like get more more goodness out in your digestive tract well early on it was just bone marrow right because like our ancestors weren't able to take down any large prey with like nothing so we would scavenge the kills of like larger predators that would leave the bones behind and we would

get the delicious delicious bone marrow from them you just crack the bone open and yeah suck it out where it's like and like something that biases me against it is that the only people who tell me this are people who do a bunch of mushrooms but they're people who are like the reason we're so smart is because of mushrooms that's a joe rogan uh uh topic um yeah you know it seems like look i don't think to me it makes more sense yeah cooked meat makes a lot more sense but it's like but maybe i think what they're saying with that whole crazy mushroom thing is like maybe like psychedelics expanded the mind of some lower hominid enough to like figure fire out or or like or to understand what he was seeing when fire would present itself and be like hey we need to hang on to some of this maybe that's just a close-minded guy i know is totally into mushrooms so it's not true have you ever seen that old um

there's an old movie it's called like quest for fire or something and it's about a bunch of like cavemen essentially like on a journey to get more more fire because they get raided by some other cavemen and they're one... You would keep fire in olden times as a little ember burning in a little basket of almost damp plant matter and it would burn for a long time

and you could get that ember out and blow on it and get your fire going anytime. It was a way to save fire because they didn't have a way of making fire. They would scavenge fire. You know, when, whenever there was a lightning strike or something like that, their fire,

they get, they get attacked. The fire goes out and the group is fucked. Cause now they have no way of defending themselves at night. The predators are coming and stuff. And it's called, and they're on this mission. It's like Lord of the Rings,

but with a whole lot less dialogue where they're just walking to go look for fire i think i have seen this is it pretty old it's pretty old yeah pretty old is there any there's no words at all in the whole thing right and i haven't seen it since i was like a teenager but like i don't remember there being a lot of words if any at all and they find like one white chick and they're just like oh it's a kind of a comedy no definitely not definitely not a comedy they're waiting some oh geez but yeah if i remember i think i have seen it and there's no you should have seen what she was wearing though what are you trusting she was asking for it i believe you uh and that they're really really expressive non-verbally you know

do they play charades all movie long. Pretty much, yeah. I haven't seen it in a long time, but it's an interesting movie. I'll say that. You say good movie, people are like, oh, so it's like Breaking Bad or There Will Be Blood or Lord of the Rings or something. No, it's worth seeing, but it's

not a masterpiece or anything. Yeah, I could go for a really interesting documentary. Black Widow. And I like Marvel movies. I really like them. And I haven't seen one that I really disliked. I've seen ones that weren't as good as the others, but none of them I thought were really thumbs down.

And every time I think about watching it, I'm like, yeah, I don't really have two hours. I'll watch five half-hour movies instead. Yeah, something about like, they really have to do a thing at this point with Marvel to like get me invested for two hours. And knowing that black widow is like dead, you know,

that this is like, Oh yeah. I remember before she died, she did all this other cool stuff. And there's a, yeah, her sister's involved and then we're going to fly around and jump a lot. I don't really care.

I don't really care. I hope Charlie's, I hope not. I don't really care. I don't really care. I don't really care. I don't really care. I don't really care.

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makes her money or whatever. She seems like a nice person. But I don't want to watch it. And the same with the Shang-Chi movie. Who's that? I don't know. All the reviews I've seen are kind of on the negative side.

Maybe it's good. Maybe it's good. I don't know. I think you're getting a little bit of a Black Panther syndrome with the Shang-Chi thing. That's possible because I've been – mostly social media is happy about it. He's getting all this positive press and then he's like retweeting it. Like all you guys said it was going to suck and now look at me. Oh, I think it's very financially

successful i mean it's very financially successful it's out of record but can i interrupt it's a record for like 70 million in a weekend and i'm like that's not a record i'm pretty sure what record did it set like most money ever with the movie that had this name like how did they categorize out of all the shChi movies that have been made, this one, by far, the most profitable. When they get too specific with the stats, they'll be like, this guy, he has the most assists in the first half of the second

period all year. It's like, well, that's not helpful. I've told this before, because Cisco did this. At Cisco, if you weren't first or second in your category, then they would just shut down that division as failed and everyone gets fired. So they'd be like, oh, we make office chairs with five legs. We really don't compete with four-legged office chairs.

That's a different category. And we are number two in the five-wheeled office chair market with two arms. Totally different consumers. Don't look into it. That's how they stayed alive. I just don't really have any interest. I have as much interest in that as I did in that G.I. Joe Snake Eyes movie. It just seems like a lot of flashy stuff.

There you go. You're like, what movie? Exactly. Exactly. I've never even heard of Shang-Chi. It's the best second weekend gross of the pandemic. So maybe, maybe the 70 million was the best first weekend of the pandemic.

Or maybe 10. It was close. That's the only thing that I can think of. It's just a terrible stat, right? Because most people aren't competing at all out of fear. And those that are, are,

it seems like it's they're not bringing their a game um it but but they kind of brought their a game with the shang tzu didn't they finish filming that like two years ago yeah where's where's james bond dude i didn't know they were they've been holding james bond for years they've got they have a they have a 163 minute long james bond movie that's daniel craig finale. And it's supposed to be like noticeably older now. Yeah, you know, he's playing an older Bond. That's one thing that I do like.

He's older now than he is in the movie. Oh, he's older now than he is in the movie. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, that's an expensive movie and a profitable movie. Those movies kill. And Top Gun, also expensive movie, profitable movie, It's going to kill. But yeah, there's holding them.

Oh, it will. It will. Top Gun's going to be crazy. Tom Cruise doesn't fail. Okay. I kind of buy into what you're saying. And I'm certainly not dumb enough to bet against Top Gun. But shit, what just failed recently?

Is it Marvel? No. I wish I could remember it. But shit, what just failed recently? I forget. No, I wish I could remember it. There was a movie everyone was psyched about, and it wasn't nearly as good as they thought. A game that comes to mind was that Cyberpunk. Like that was the thing I missed. So buggy. Yeah, people said it was unplayable.

And I don't think it was good. Like, I think you can look past clipping in an elevator and cars that do weird things every once in a while. People love those bugs if the game is good enough to overcome it. But I think it just sucked. I think it's both. Yeah, yeah. I agree.

I watched MIDI play some, and I literally watched 20 minutes, and I saw two serious bugs like like silly shit happening and one of them was the elevator i mean if if you need to go up in the elevator and you're stuck not going up and that's a huge bug if instead you just maybe see something you weren't supposed to or you click the actress's face then who cares i heard they all had like the skyrim problems of like you get halfway through the dark Brotherhood and then it's like oh, this person just won't trigger. I can't talk to them. I guess I have to find a new place.

That's game breaking. Yeah, that is literally unplayable. You can't play. You just walk up to the mother matron and you go, here's the head of the local cobbler. She's like, fetch me my swine or whatever the fuck she said. And you're like, it's here.

I already did it. I can't go back to that city anymore. Everyone's dead. Have you, have you seen, uh, have you seen any gameplay or heard of Icarus? No,

I think you may have mentioned Icarus, but I still haven't seen gameplay. Yeah. Icarus is in beta right now. They're doing beta weekends. Um, and I think that maybe if you pre-order, you get access to it.

I'm going to, I'm going to look into that. I may stream Icarus this weekend. I'm going to call. When you come back, is it a shooter? Is it a Skyrim-ish RPG? So the premise is you are part of a team who is terraforming a near-Earth planet. It's like two years of almost light-speed travel away or something like that.

planet it's like two years of like almost light speed travel away or something like that and um you're like these engineers who go down and like terraform um and you're like uh looking for some sort of like exotic mineral or something like that but the way the gameplay works is because you've had to travel like two light years you don't have shit like you you it's a survival game in many aspects because the characters start with a stone axe and a stone hammer and a bow and arrow because I guess it's very expensive to

move a rifle all the way out here five light years away or whatever the fuck. You can't acquire those things, but it's like a process. There's a little bit of building of shelter and there's not enough oxygen on the planet to breathe. So you have to mine this oxide ore and pop it into your suit. And your suit sort of turns this ore into O2.

And so you're always on a clock. You've always got to find more. And they did a really good job advertising it. I sat and watched their 10, 20-minute trailer for most of it anyway. It looks cool. Zach's letter tells us a lot i'll read icarus is a session-based pve survival game for up to eight co-op players or solo confront and conquer a brutal pve world and determined to wear you down and tear you apart sorry world determined to from toxic atmosphere to savage wildlife and game altering weather events, Icarus is a planet

with a temper. Preparation and planning are everything. Okay, so it's probably a modern day Minecraft with a little twist to it. Yeah, it looks like PvE Rust to some extent as well. The graphics looked okay. It's about shooting. It sounded like you're just trying to establish your world

and make it easier to live in. I watched some gameplay. You're fighting bears, wolves, stuff like that is what I saw. The bears and deer seem easy to kill. The wolves – I mean the – excuse me. The deer and wolves seem easy to kill. The bears seem like – it's like, oh, no, it's a bear. We're fucked.

It's a bear. Just like it would be in real life. You saw a bear and you had a bow. It's a real problem. It's not like a skyward it's not like a minecrafty with good graphics to me like it you're like oh you fight bears and wolves like all right so like wolves and zombies you know like sure um i i think part of the thing is like once you like complete your session you know let's cut to use tarkov terms you know when you're done with the raid and you pop back up to the space station, you can trade stuff that you've acquired

for upgrades, like a rifle or a better suit that holds more air. I thought for sure you were going to say there's crafting. Lots of crafting, man. There's a whole crafting table that you open up. There's a whole crafting menu you open up where you're like, oh, I got this. It's Minecraft.

Okay, I give it to you now. There's no crafting menu you open up where you're like oh i got this minute it's it's minecraft okay i i give it to you now like like there's no fucking block people you say well you're mining and then i didn't see a crafting table you like open up a crafting oh you didn't like like i did say it but i shouldn't have said it there's a crafting menu and uh and it's like all right i got got three sticks and this much bullshit rock and I've got some bones so I can make a knife or I can make... It's Minecraft. It's Minecraft in that way. But it looks fun. Updating Minecraft to make it...

I always thought Minecraft's graphics were kind of its... Downfall. I don't know. I was about to say it's downfall, but it's hard to... It hasn't fallen down, though. It made Notch a billionaire. Is it the best-selling game ever? Maybe its graphics

are its selling point. The thing is, for me, though, I like games to have a certain aesthetic. I'm sitting here like... The thing that really held back the most successful game ever is its graphics. It kept me out.

I think if I were younger, I'd have been more into it. Although, C-Nanners was maybe older than me, and he got really into it. I could never understand. I never got it. I never did until... It was actually Onslaught. He's like, Woody, let's stream together.

We'll play Minecraft, and we'll just keep playing until we get to the nether. I was like, I hate let's stream together. We'll play Minecraft and we'll just keep playing until we get to the nether. And I was like, well, I hate this game. I've never played, but I like you and I will spend my night with you. And that made it really gay. But anyway, that was what got me into Minecraft. And that was our mission. And he kind of just like showed me the ropes and held my hand.

I'll keep the gay vibe cool. Yeah. And after that, I was like, oh, I get it. I can see why people would enjoy this game. I get exhausted by games that need that much crafting. Like, when I feel like I'm crafting for the sake of it to grind, that was the biggest downfall

of Skyrim, was like, I need to waste a dozen hours minimum doing menial tasks if I ever want this super dope armor. Like, could I just wear steel plate mail and beat the whole game? Yes, but it doesn't look dope, so I need to go minimum doing menial tasks if i ever want this super dope armor like you know what i would like steal plate mail and beat the whole game yes but it doesn't look dope so i need to go gather a million iron bracers and so when i figured out that's all that like and minecraft is infinitely more than that like i don't i don't really play minecraft ever but my understanding is like you

don't just walk by and see like a rare sword and like stash that you have to build everything and like the amount of crafting is it's grueling so i think you would really enjoy modded skyrim you know on the pc probably because you can just bypass that when i was last time i was playing um skyrim and the last time i played fallout as well, you can pull weapons from every fantasy sci-fi realm that exists. So if you want Master Chief's armor, okay, there's a mod for that. It's free, of course. You're just really quick.

Once you've got everything else established, you can just Master Chief's armor. Oh, there's eight different ones. Which one do I want? Well, this one's got the most reviews. Download. All right, so I press F1. All right, and equip. And now I'm Master Chief, and you're Master Chief in Fallout. do i want well this one's got the most reviews download all right so i press f1 all right and

equip and now master chief and your master chief in fallout and the same goes for like gimley's axe or like you know stormbreaker like like any weapon from any fantasy sci-fi thing ever has been modded into those games like it's absurd if i were to again, assuming it's not just lifting weights, I saw Slush Puppy play Lawnmower Simulator. And I know, I know, I hear you all. But it was strangely compelling for me to watch him do this. Everyone in the chat, including me, felt like we could do it better. And this guy's a professional gamer who plays games all the time. If he's not mowing in straight, efficient lines, it's probably hard to do.

But I'm like, dude, why did you? You left a space around the tree. Now you have to make a whole other loop around the tree. Why didn't you just be perfect? Like I clearly would have. And I'm disagreeing. So there's like a career mode where you make money mowing lawns and then invest in lawn mowers. I like horrible games.

I prefer Paperboy Simulator. You can take on better lawn mowers and get bigger jobs. You can start doing fields and commercial. And I know how horrible this all sounds. But I was so invested. I watched him for hours. You know, I couldn't watch for hours but i mean i spent like a good bit of time today watching a guy clean a pool like a like a real pool like

it was after the hurricane and this uh this black guy he was very charming by the way he was just like first thing we gotta do is get those leaves off the top clean that filter out all right getting started now we're gonna shock it next day all that algae is falling to the bottom. I'm going to use my debris machine to get there. I was just like, all right, what's the next step? Oh, you got the little turtle out? Sick. All the little girls want the turtle as a pet.

All right, let's keep going. By the time he's done, he went from a pool that looked like a pond, just brown, dark water, to crystal clear, blue water. It looked great on YouTube. Where did you watch it? I found it on Reddit.

I found it on Reddit and I watched like the whole thing. It was, I mean, it wasn't like 10 minutes or anything, but a couple of minutes, you know, and I was engrossed. I was just like, I can't wait to see how this pool turns out. It wasn't even a big pool. I'm super compelled as well. It's so funny that you brought up those examples because it's literally a king of the hill episode where luann like needs to be

independent the the young niece and hank's like luann you have to find yourself a lawn and then she gets a house with a pool and she's like testing and he's like you see what happened luann you found your lawn and she's obsessed with and he's like you see what happened loanne you found your lawn she's obsessed with taking care of the pool yeah it's just all like watching people clean things or create things or it's the same reason i like those videos where it's just like two guys from indonesia like we're gonna build a pool in the middle of the jungle ah they're all they're hollywood for me now you know what they don't even talk You know how much money those kids have now? They don't have shoes

As soon as the camera turns off They shower off real quick and hop in a Gucci suit What are you guys talking about? How did they get lost? It's these The primitive guys on YouTube That carve out a fucking Mansion out of mud and shit

It looks cool and it's cool it looks cool yeah it is cool and yeah oftentimes they don't go far enough it's like today we're making clay tiles and they go and i'm like what are you gonna make with the tiles oh you'll see that's where we stop no they'll come back and use the tiles i've seen it i've seen it actually we're using those tiles to make a forge. Wait, what are you going to forge next time? I want to see

them go from mud to metal tools. The whole route. Primitive technologies. The original guy that started doing that and one of the best i think uh he like people were commenting in his videos years ago at this point they're like where's all the cool stuff you built where's all the where's the like little mini city and town of stuff and

he's just like once you have enough stuff it gets really boring and you just want to go restart all of it somewhere else not me I want to see medieval technology. So. Hit the bronze age bitch. You know, he starts coming out in like a suit of armor. Like a trebuchet out of leaves. My newest little interest is swords.

So I've been like now YouTube is showing me lots of sword stuff because I'm going to be able to buy a sword soon. I'm going to arm myself like a 16th century lord. I may go full armor. What kind of sword are you looking at? Definitely a medieval broadsword. Definitely a longsword. Definitely a medieval longsword that is like, quote unquote, battle ready. They make some of those wall pieces. No interest in that. I don't want something interest in that what are you weird it's very important to me that I have a peened pommel

of course and I don't know I need high grade steel I want it to be forged what is a peened pommel I don't know that either and I think I want a shorter sword than you do well you'll stand no chance sir I'm going to have

I'll bring a gun well that's no fair Well, you'll stand no chance, sir. I'm going to have... I'll bring a gun. Well, that's no fair! How long is the long sword? Is that a broad sword? How many hands do you use on it? Well, there's, I think, two hands. And there's also the hand and a half sword, you know, the bastard sword that Jon Snow rocked. I was looking at those, too. So a peened pommel.

All I meant with that is some cheap swords. The pommel is that ball that's down below your hand and that's meant to like, it's for balance purposes, right? So you got weight back here to deal with the weight that's on the blade so it's more balanced and you can fight with it. And sometimes they just fucking glue a pommel on there, but what you want

is the pommel has a hole through it and you push it through a shaft and the shaft extends out of the other end of the pommel. So then you flip the sword upside down and you push it through a shaft and the shaft extends out of the other end of the pommel so then you flip the sword upside down and you hammer that down and peen it like just like a rivet so it it uh it forms around the pommel and it and it makes it incredibly tight and forever it's there unless you want to grind it back off we can like you want to suck i want to be solid what he did i want the ham i want the

i want the handwork to be visible does that make sense i do yeah i agree i want to see the dip the dimpling of the steel and stuff like that i don't want something that came out of a machine necessarily but i don't know i've been looking at swords is a claymore too big like a william wallace that's a big fucking sword yeah i would like something that that i could wield in indoors if need be so i promise i won't talk about walking dead but walking dead spurred my little mini interest in swords i think about like everyone in walking dead chooses a different weapon right then one guy's a crossbow there's a chicken later seasons who has a slingshot. Of course, Rick has that revolver, the Python. But most of the characters have a signature weapon. And I'm like, it seems like the ideal weapon would be a short sword

or a piece of rebar or something like that. Spear. See, now spear, it gets worthless if you get inside my spear radius. That's why I'm going short sword. The point is to poke you in the eye. worthless if you get inside my spear radius that's why i'm going short sword i think because the point is to poke you in the eye not you but like a zombie yeah in the face they're very choke up on it though right you just keep choking up maybe you're right i don't know like it indoors the spear if you were to exaggerate the spear shaft length you would see you'd visualize that

oh well there is a too long right you can't just choke up forever. So I don't know what that two long is, but I feel like it's a half foot sword. An eight foot spear. I think it's pretty standard. I want an eight foot spear, not counting the blade. I was looking at some spears too. Keep in mind, you're going to be in like a 1v10 sometimes. I've been spear shopping. If you're in a 1v10, you need to go from one to the next quickly.

Yeah. I don't know if you've seen me play vermintide i have actually i stand corrected well you should pick a bow oh yeah you're unstoppable with that magic bow i would be pretty good with a bow against zombies because i can't shoot a recurve bow like like not well enough to like kill a deer necessarily probably but a recurve is a normal one like legless head but what did legless have i would have to see it i mean it wasn't a compound he's got he's got he's got to be a made-up bow so there's like as far as far as i know there's really like three main kinds of bows although

there is like remember that crazy thing ramsey had when he was like um when john snow's little brothers running away at the battle of the bastards and he had that crazy ridiculous thing that's a recurve bow yeah that is not a recurve bow. That's this very special kind. I googled it because it was at the time and it's this very it's this ancient bow that they made somewhere only in one part of the world. It's a weird funky bow that has some sort of mechanical

advantage. Because it's the same kind that Ramsey, it's the same kind that Lurtz used to kill Boromir. That's some kind of fantasy shit. I'm talking about a modern recurve bow that looks like this. I'll show you what I have. Yeah. I mean, I personally think the sword and spear

route is cooler than the bow route here. Kyle has it developed. Stop there. Top column. Yeah, that's pretty close. That's pretty close to a modern recurve bow. I think we shot those

in gym class. You get a bit of a mechanical advantage by the way the limbs turn back and the way they're attached to the main piece in the middle. It's a lot more easier to shoot more quickly than a longbow. Ancient longbows

I say ancient, like ancient long bows i say ancient like like english long bows those would be anywhere from 150 to 200 pound draw to draw one of those whereas that little bow right there is probably like 60 pounds 70 pounds and it shoots an arrow really fucking hard and you can shoot it pretty quickly i can and like accurately like if you ever shot a slingshot you you don't aim it. You sort of get a feel for it. And that's how you are with Recurve. You're just kind of pulling them back and letting them go. It's fun.

And cheap. So you would want the longsword, the bastard sword maybe. And then, Woody, you're thinking like a gladius? Short sword, close quarters, you're in a hallway, you can't be dealing with big swings. Yeah, I just feel like if you were to give – Kyle's really strong, so maybe a long sword would fit for him.

But if you were to give most people a really long sword, I feel like if he doesn't hit in his first blow, he's defenseless for the next three seconds. Yeah, and I feel like it'd be easy to get back into position. Because I've been watching these sword YouTubers. Guess how much a long sword weighs uh seven and a half pounds he had one that weighed like six pounds and he was like this is a piece of junk this is the heaviest sword i have ever held he weighs it it's like six pounds and i'm like wait how much do they weigh he's like this is a good long sword

it was like two and three quarters pounds or something like that. They're so light and well balanced. We get this idea from the movies, apparently, that it's this big, heavy chunk of steel that you're just swinging big, wide. Every time I watch one of those sword masters review that shit, they're like, no.

We're not chopping a field down. We're not chopping at trees. We're fighting another human being one all right and he's dead and he's dead and he's dead like every because if you gave me a broom right this is literally a broom that still had the straw by my hand can ask me to swing it around one-handed i'd be pretty slow as a matter of fact like i used to play hockey on defense one-handed if i didn't like see they're coming at you i'm going backwards i swing at the puck if i don't hit it i'm pretty much out of the play for the

next two and a half seconds until i try to swing it back yeah i don't know i was watching this guy play with it play with his sword he had that that target that you often see in like samurai competitions and stuff it's like that bundle of bamboo reeds or some shit. And he was fucking cutting through that thing like it was butter. And you can tell when someone's good at a thing, like whether they're swinging a baseball bat, a golf club, or whatever. He was so good at swinging that sword. He was so good at it.

Yeah, he was not good. I thought there was a pause there. The fat people who cut all the water bottles at once. You act like you've been training the blade but this looks like your first day you are no student of the blade so they they are that heavy because of inertia they love that most inertia to get through all the dasanis part of the tree i mean you do not want to be a criminal legless and limbless in front of that guy this zach can you share that sword you linked that sword to me looks very deadly indoors and super useful in a zombie apocalypse like something

that i feel like i could go from target to target with that looks sick like some scimitar i don't know the effectiveness but that does look awesome i have a sword i inherited downstairs i don't mean to flex on kyle with my swords or anything but we have it right below our dark shield in the game of thrones room that's awesome have you ever man let's all get it really into swords that sounds so fun we would be so cool let's all get into sword fighting and like we we start showing up in like plate armor on the show have you ever show. Have you ever seen that meme I linked? Which one? I just put it in the thing.

Oh, in the this chat. Who is the person on the right? That's Wesley Snipes playing the character Blade. And they found a lookalike and they're like, that's Blade. This is Butterknife.

I was like, is that just a really bad picture of him? Cause God, the hair matches the cheekbones. Now are you now Kyle, everybody who gets into swords, it seems like they are always approaching getting into samurai swords. Are you not into that jam at all? Like a katana, like a katana like a katana they look cool and i would imagine they're super light because they're not as big i don't know something kind of draws me toward toward the uh the the long sword right and and i don't know i think i just

want to stick it on my wall and like play with something like what he always says i kind of like things that are just made well so like i'm probably going to buy a sword, but I've been looking at them a lot because they are expensive. Good ones are grand, something like that. If I were spending a grand on my motorcycle, something that I use several days a week, it's like, yeah, it's cool too.

My sword. Can you imagine how sick you would look on your motorcycle dressed to the nines with a sword on your back? No one's fucking with you. You're not supposed to wear it on your back. Who's going to stop you? You have a sword.

Mount it on your motorcycle. Anyone who wants to will stop me because of the physics of having a sword on your back. You can't draw it. You're like, and they're just beating you senseless. He was going to cut me. Get his sword.

Use it against him. Use it against him. Man, I think more people should open carry blades. Just have a rapier on my hip at the grocery store. Yeah, that'd be cool. Those swords, I imagine, would be very hard to use properly based on watching the Olympics for a few minutes.

In the fencing? A saber or a rapier or a fencing, whatever you call it, poker. Foil? Foil, that's what it is. Maybe those are the most effective in 1v1. I don't know. I feel like you could poke me once and I'd close the distance and I might bleed out later, but I'm just going gonna stab you to death with a big knife that might be true i

imagined like some probably fucking marvel scene where they're like like i don't know in you i think we've got a really like broken idea of what sword fighting is like the same way we have like the silly idea of what gunfights are light until until we see them on like the internet and you're like whoa well they're not all just standing in the street trading shots back and forth what's up with that what's he hiding for oh is that guy crying jesus christ yeah they can't even see each other they're kind of just playing war games until the air force shows up i saw a police video the other day where like multiple cops have a car of people pulled over and it's very casual like like three four cops three or four people pulled over it's almost like they're it's not even a traffic stop it's like oh are you broken down kind of scenario kind of it's

how it feels next thing you know homie pulls out the fucking AR-15 pistol out of the back of his car and starts blasting at the cops. Just that, that, that, that, that, that, that. And the cops are freaking out. They're returning fire. All of a sudden, the gunman, he's hitting the leg, but he don't care. He's hobbling now. He's like hopping along, still shooting. Cop also shot in the leg.

He's hobbling, shooting too. You can still play with a blacked out leg. Blacked out leg, still going. he's hobbling shooting too you can still play with the blacked out leg blacked out leg still going next thing you know the gunman pulls the fucking switcheroo on him goes all the way behind him somehow and you just see him run up behind the cop and pistol whip him with the ar-15 and now the cops down other cop also did the switcheroo now he's behind the gunman pop shoots him in the back gunman goes down and you just see the cop. All you can see is the cop from the waist up, and he's just going,

pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. I didn't count. I said it like 11 shots or so, though. He emptied half his Glock magazine in this guy's minimum. He just assassinated him right there in the front. It was twitching all over the ground in defiance of my authority.

No one told you to squirm. Yeah, it was one of the wildest things I've ever seen. I could probably find the video, but we can't show it. It's too graphic. One guy in the car, the three cops pull him over? Are you asking me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It made it sound like it was against one person

um one shooter um definitely wasn't an uzi no um but but uh that's the video yeah i just don't think we can show it because like people die it's uh it's on police activity if anybody out there wants to see it it's called dash cam footage shows florida deputies ambushed during traffic stop so it was a traffic stop it just seems so it's on police activity if anybody out there wants to see it. It's called Dashcam Footage Shows Florida Deputies Ambushed During Traffic Stop. So it was a traffic stop. It just seems so casual. Like everybody's chilling. Are automatic crossbows a real thing?

Oh, wait a minute. I'm looking at the gun now. This does look kind of oozy-like. It's a weird little cheap, shitty SMG type thing, but it's semi-auto. It is casual, though, by the way. Like the two bad guys oh shit there's a third guy comes out of the car starts blasting there's the leg now he's hobbling blacked out leg i need to catch up man it's got like a tarantino movie is it shot in 70 millimeter it's so wide yeah i'm always like watching the parts like

right before shit kicks off and seeing like like if i were in that position would i have seen it coming and it's always no no i would have been caught flat-footed for sure that kyle's story that whole thing takes place in hold on on, I'm doing like math stuff. Less than a minute. About 40 seconds, 41 seconds. So the video is a minute 10, minute 11. But only the last 41 seconds has this, it happened so fast. I didn't, it sounded like it played out much longer.

And I'm, I've talked about this thing. I saw it on like a local Fox News. And fast forward, community organizer is all like Black Lives Matter. These cops are breeding us up. They're terrible people, et cetera. The cops invite him to go through a training drill where he has to make shoot no shoot decisions. He makes all bad decisions. And in watching it, I was like mentally participating as well. I made all bad decisions. And it was eye opening to me how the police are with, you know, what seem like chill people. And it's a shoot situation.

Or they're with people who are fighting. And it wasn't a shoot situation. And this job is hard to get it right. Now, sometimes they clearly get it wrong and make bad calls i'm not saying that but uh i could have been caught off guard here too yeah i mean there's that that clip we watched forever ago of two cops in my little tiny hometown like they pull the guy over at a zaxby's um shout out to those those hot wings and dude seems like chill as fuck like he's just like yeah

i'm coming down from south carolina guess i was going too fast back there yeah yeah can you get something to eat tonight gonna get some chicken yeah man that's actually this is good okay can you keep your hands out of your pockets for me yeah sorry about that sorry about that hey no no just keep your hands out of you and he's just likeop, bop, bop, bop. And he's just like drawing a gun and he shot him. And it was just wild. I lost the main character. The bad guy shot the cop. Bad guy shot the cops.

Yeah. Yeah. Did he kill him in that one? I remember watching that. No, no. I don't remember specifically, but I think somebody got shot in the hand and somebody got shot like in the body. Like something about his lung comes to mind.

I don't know if it like collapsed along or if it like pierced his vest and shot him through the lung i don't really remember the details but they should show videos like this to all the people who like every time the shooting happens they're like why don't you just meticulously shoot people in the calves oh read the comments of that video that oh yeah they know they know people watching that video did i saw like the top comment was like, most satisfying mag dump I ever heard in my life. But he was such a good kid. Loved going to church.

Yeah. Find the LeBron James quote. On the news, they show a picture of him when he's nine. Oh, this is relevant. It's not what Kyle asked for, but just shoot him in the leg. They did, and he still pushed on. Leg shots don't neutralize the threat. Dude, they should have just sent a 22-year-old female social worker. Hmm.

You know, get that squared. Oh, and the best part that you don't know, because unless, I don't know, you're me, I guess, there's a baby in the backseat of their car. Oh, Christ. What a bunch of assholes. The baby was holding the gun. They're like, give me that gun, little baby. I don't get the LeBron James quote.

These black educated men were just joking around. Because every time there's a shooting, LeBron James says something like that in relation to what happened. He's always in defense of what is sometimes just, I don't know, something like what we just saw. Yeah, someone trying to kill someone and getting killed for their trouble. Look, there's police brutality. There are police who perhaps are quicker to judge black people. Like I believe all these things to be true.

I also believe that oftentimes the, I don't know how to say it better. The black community will rise up in defense of a bad guy. You know, if this guy, my favorite was the Fergusonguson one right this guy was on a tear he just beat the fuck out of a shop owner for what not giving him free uh cigars or something swishers yeah and then he's like a robbery a strong arm robbery and then on his

way home from the strong arm robbery he like wrestles a cop or something and the cop shoots him and the whole community is like, how dare you? It's like, look, I see your point. This isn't the one you go to the mats on. I think that was one. There's so many, it's easy to mix up. I think that was one where he tried to take

the gun from the cop in his car. Regardless, Wendy's needed to be burned down. That was the only end result that was ever going to happen. I don't even like Wendy's that much, so I, regardless, Wendy's needed to be burned down. That was the only end result that was ever going to happen. Well, I don't even like Wendy's that much, so I'm fine with Wendy's. Me either. All that chili went to waste, though.

Even better. Oh, smoky. Extra smoky. Not hickory smoked. Wendy's built 1978 plaster and asbestos smoke. Try Dave's brand new Smokehouse Chili. Only in Ferguson. Taste the fiberglass insulation.

It is good though. I've never bought chili from a fast food place. It doesn't seem... I'm going to be honest. I know a lot of our listeners don't have access to Wendy's. Maybe you're in like the uk or some shit that chili's not bad all right that chili's not bad no it's it's pretty good chili as far as chili goes um i haven't had wendy's chili in a long time but like it's got you know beans and vegetables and the meat is like uh

hamburger patties they've diced up i'm good i kind of turn my up on it. Turn my nose up at it just because it's from Wendy's. Yeah, like if I were going to Wendy's, I'm just going to get a square burger. Honestly, it's the thing they do best. I'm going to get chicken mostly. The spicy chicken sandwich is number one, and their chili is number two. Their burgers suck. Spicy chicken sandwich is number six.

You're in my area. I'm aware there's number six. I know it's a number six combo. Okay? I'm fully aware. This number six. I know it's a number six combo, okay? I'm fully aware. This is like two years late to the party, but when the Popeyes did their chicken sandwich and were like, you're not the only game in town anymore, Chick-fil-A. Like I went to a Popeyes near me

and it was unbelievably disappointing. Really? Far and away worse than the Chick-fil-A one. Definitely worse. Yeah, you take a bite of Chick-fil-A one. Yeah, it's too crispy and you realize like one bite in or a couple bites in, you're like, I haven't gotten a single bit of chicken. This is breading

and like spicy sriracha mayo or some shit. I'm going to have one tonight. I need to see if they've stepped their game up. There are chicken sandwich wars right now going on. I think everybody knows this. They used to be like cola wars. Now we we living in the age of chicken sandwich wars so if you find yourself at a restaurant you don't normally

eat at your hardy's your arby's your whatever they probably have a chicken sandwich competitor in this thing that's better than you'd guess because they're all putting their a game out there right now yeah i don't trust arby's arby's all the arby's here got ran out of town by a local chain literally they did like by there's a local chain here or some other places it's called lion's choice and it's just way fucking better roast beef just infinitely better and so there's no arby's around here dude have you ever seen how how their roast beef is made at arby's yeah it's like uh and it's like an emulsified lump of fake ham that they then slice to pretend it's real. It comes in a liquid form in a plastic bag.

And they like boil the plastic bag. And all of that goo turns to a solid chunk of fake meat that they then shave down and call roast beef. Disgusting. You know when you don't finish your steak and it's still on the plate at the restaurant? They take that and reassemble it into arby's roast beef you will this is much lower quality than that uh zach says the new mcdonald's chicken sandwich is really good i haven't tried it myself but it lends to my point so i choose to believe it people have good chicken sandwiches now they're all putting forth their a game if you eat at a restaurant, a fast food that you don't normally try,

probably they do a good chicken sandwich. They're trying all hard right now. Yeah, yeah. I can believe that. Chick-fil-A is the best, though. It just is. I know you don't believe that. We should do a fucking taste test one day where we all get the top three

fucking chicken sandwiches and have an actual. An excuse to overeat? I'm down. Oh, you're not going to eat the whole chicken sandwiches, Taylor. You take a slice out of each one. Good God, man. He was finishing his chicken filet sandwich. Why are you going to say that one was good? It's a four-hour show. We could do one

an hour. No, you take a little fucking slice out of each sandwich. I'm going to say two things. I'm on Team Taylor and fuck you, Kyle. I was going to add that we should all pick one side from each restaurant that we also eat. You can get the chili.

I'll try some hot chili. We did a show with an excuse to eat four chicken sandwiches. There is nothing worse than listening to people eat on mic like but all three of us for like none of us talking at the same time it's like all right let's all eat together everyone would be like well if it's the worst i don't know like i would have thought that um like is damn drops is he the food reviewer yeah yeah i if i never saw his content i would have guessed

i didn't like it but i've seen his content and he's charismatic and he kind of sells it and and you know you get what he feels about this different food and he's eating like low quality food i would have thought wasn't deserving of a food review but all foods deserving of a food review and this has more value to me than whatever local freshman french restaurant is in your town for sure yeah i don't give a shit about local places somewhere else like this this awesome spot in seattle it's like who cares whatever that fucking guy was doing reviewing the ratatouille that doesn't help me i don't live there i need a guy to eat an arby's chicken sandwich

the dave portnoy one bite pizza reviews from barstool where he's like one bite everybody knows the rules and then just he roasted st louis style pizza he hated it but also it's because his team was losing in the stanley cup at the time what is st louis style pizza it's like very thin crust a lot of toppings so it's got a proval cheese which is like swiss and provolone a couple other things mixed in it's very good i like try it i saw him do a food review and he got recognized on the street it was a pizza review and he was with like four a-list actors i think they were all marvel stars but i'm not sure about that and they're like oh my god oh my god the pizza review guy i hope it's all true you know i saw that same clip because it's like john ham and the guy who plays thor and then like some girls stop and it's like oh my god dave portnoy do you think it was a setup?

I don't know. They do a bunch of goofy stuff like that over there. I've never consumed. I'm just now starting to consume more barstool sports content because for the longest time, I just spit and chiclets is associated with them. That's their hockey podcast with Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonette and those guys, which is great. That's my favorite hockey podcast for sure.

But now I'm getting into the other stuff. This guy, Dave Portnoy, the president of it, he invites NHLers, or he used to do this, and he'd be like, all right, come to my office and shoot on me. And so he has Jonathan Van Riemsdyk and these NHL players, Austin Matthews coming out there, and all he does is put on bullshit street hockey pads and then set up the game so that the players can't win he's like no for you're too close scoot back they're like 25 yards

away shooting a tennis ball and these guys are like you know i i'm i play in the league and it's real hard to get this ball down and then like they'll like shoot it at him and they have like little bets he's like how many are you going to score and like confidently at first they're like i'll probably score seven out of ten on you. He's like, how many are you going to score? And like confidently at first they're like, I'll probably score seven out of 10 on you. And he's like, I'll just let you know, no one's ever scored more than five. So you're wrong there.

And then like they start and the guys are like, we're so far away. And then he just, he just makes excuse after excuse. He'll be like, this guy, JVR comes in. He just came from what?

Boston Bruins practice? I'm working. I'm running a company. I'm not a complainer. I don't want to mention this. Both blew both of my knees out this morning. Is that like a literal one? Yeah, like stuff like that where I'll be like throwing my back out.

At one point, I think it was Nick Bonino, some defenseman came in, and he knew it was rigged because it was his second time. And he's i'm just gonna rip it as hard at him as i possibly can and say dave figures it out early and he's like trying to stay strong he like catches one in the ribs and he's like quietly to his camera he's like i can last topic i don't know if this will work but do you guys have you ever tried bone conducting headsets no i've never even heard that okay so everyone knows the way that you hear sound typically is it goes through your ear holes past your outer and inner ear to your cochlear. It's really close to that cochlear. And in that is the part that has the hairs that vibrate and you know how that

works. Cool. Well, most headsets, of course, sit either in or on top of your ear and play that way. There are some headsets that sit on your cheekbones kind of right in front of your ear and they vibrate your bone, which does the same thing kind of indirectly. And that's how they play. There's a guy ride motorcycles with that uses them to hear like music and podcasts and whatever. What I do is I have speakers in the helmet that I turn up so loud. They penetrate my hearing protection,

which are those foam earbuds. And it kind of sucks. Like if I know the song already, I are those foam earbuds. And it kind of sucks. Like if I know the song already, I kind of enjoy it. But if it's a new song or an audio book or a podcast, my like listening comprehension is so bad that I can't enjoy it. I think it's what ruins Stormlight for me. So I want to try this bone vibrating headset. Interesting. I tried his on for like six seconds, liked it it but didn't really i should have tried it longer to do a better review i was just like oh like where's somehow

that i don't know where the music is coming from and i can still hear the rest of the world they're popular amongst bicyclists because they want to have um you know your perception it comes from your ears mostly uh oh this is actually one of the ones i'm considering is this one pink no i don't know it said pink in the url but if you could show this this is what they look like and is there a picture where it fits on someone's head yeah that's the fourth one down yeah so they look like that and he wears one under his helmet. And then, of course, you can put really good ear protection in your ear holes. Is there a better word for that?

Ear hole? I like ear hole. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so you can put... And then, of course, it doesn't have to go past it. You don't have to turn it up so darn loud that it gets through that. I think I'm going to try this. That's pretty cool.

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense for a biker. Have you seen the earbuds that a landmark uses? No, it's the use. I know about them. I even Googled them. I can't see them on his stream. It looks like he's not wearing a headset.

They're like $1,500. They have a variety of them. He's getting custom made ones that fit his ear. They sell like five and $700 ones. Um, I looked up the ones he's got and I think it's a 1200. Like he said, he's got it listed on his like profile.

Um, it's my experience with audio stuff that like at 400, you get like 95% of the value. And at 1500 you get the remaining 5%. Yeah. Um, that's like microphone speakers etc i don't know anything about the ones he has maybe that's not the case but uh yeah you know

they're sponsoring him and i'm sure they want him to have the best possible experience and hooking him up with the elite ones it's a neat idea especially for him i don't think he plays 12 hours a day anymore i think he's cut back some, but he certainly wears a headset as much as almost anyone on the planet. It makes sense for him to have... He doesn't like

wearing a headset that much. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, I can see why he'd want a super headset. We'll see what he thinks. I also wish there was some way to get a review from him that wasn't biased, right? Like he's being paid to like them and try them, right? Well, I mean, I think that he makes enough money that he wouldn't continue to use them if they weren't as good or better than his high-end headset he used before,

because like performance is, I mean, he's not going to like use us something that's not making that that's like making him worse at the game. Right. Like no matter how much or unhappy, they'd have to pay him like so much money for him to like now not be very good at Tarkov.

Okay. True. True. I I'm on board there, but even like I take it, let's take it away from being landmark and headsets. If I paid you to try something, I think I've already made a good impression with you and the product would have to suck to overcome your good first impression. suck. I mean, I would do that, right? Like there was that video where like they, they, they, they paid me and they gave me those shotguns that were just garbage. And I had like, I don't remember if it was four of them, they sent me or five of them, but like by the time it was over, only one of them was still working. Did you shoot a tree down with slugs? Does this sound right? That's a different

video. That, that gun's actually okay. I think I just bought that gun. It's a, it's the double barreled shotgun. I think that I was using, I think it was a double barre the double-barreled shotgun i think that i was using i think it was a double-barreled shotgun it was this plastic piece of shit um maybe a 12 16 or something like that maybe it held like 16 shells i don't remember exactly but i just remember like in the video being like like we've been we were shooting a toilet and i'm like it has taken me three shotguns to destroy a toilet and the toilet's still in pretty good shape like there's two shot there's two shotguns that are ruined and you could still take a shit in that toilet bad use of money is is this the gun that m1216 does that sound probably probably okay um yeah anyway so yeah i

i wasn't trying to take a dig at landmark but i was just saying like you know i wish i could get a review from someone who maybe just bought it and didn't have that bias that any normal person would have from the working relationship but um i don't know that made me curious yeah makes sense and i'm not sure why i don't wear a headset as much as he does i once did but, but I don't anymore. This one hurts after a number of hours. After, I don't know how many it is. It's a lot of hours, like five, six hours, something

like that. It starts hurting one of my ears. I think the cups just aren't perfectly big enough or something like that, but it's not a big deal. Mine's comfortable for a long time. I wear what Landmark used to wear, and that's not an accident. He's an influencer, and he influenced me. I'll get the one Landmark uses. Fuck, I'm playing

Tarkov all the time. But I feel like a different form factor is more flattering. Maybe if they're a little wider, they give you kind of a square jaw visual. And

that matters to me too that these don't knock it out of the park and making you handsome. Fair. Well, that was fun. Wrap it up. Sure. PKN.