Painkiller Already - PKN 380

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 PKN 380. What's up, boys? Good evening. Not too much. Having a good day. Kyle having a great day. Yeah, I want the pre-show talk about Kyle's great day. I went on a little mini vacation the last couple days, and then today I won like $1,100 this morning, I think, playing poker. Had a good poker morning. That is a good poker morning. that is a good poker morning yeah i got on um and played at like 5 a.m or something like 5 or 6 a.m and it was so early that like nobody was playing like the normal stakes that i play like 25 cent 50 cent blinds um which to like give you maybe a little bit more perspective the pots like
Starting point is 00:00:39 the amount of money in the middle at the end of each hand when you're playing 25 cent 50 cent is usually like i don't know 12 or 25 dollars something like that that you win or lose every hand if you're like keep going into it you know ejected it's hard to win a thousand dollars 12 bucks at a time yeah that's why i moved up that's one of the reasons i moved up in stakes is because i was um i was winning a lot like like i was i would double up my starting stack, triple it up and do that multiple times. And then I would look at how much money I had made. I'd be like, Oh,
Starting point is 00:01:08 let's count it up. And it's like, you've made $40. And it's like, on one hand, like money. Yeah. But like on one hand,
Starting point is 00:01:17 I've like quadrupled my money pretty quickly, which is crazy. Obviously, if you could do that that consistently or on purpose, you would just sit there and print money all day. But I moved up in the States because there was nobody online. And we crushed it at 1-2. Had a good time this morning.
Starting point is 00:01:33 How replicable do you think that is for you? Oh, I don't know. We'll find out later. I mean, I'm going to continue to play. That's got to be a nice little confidence boost, though. Like you're in the minor leagues of the sport now. A little bit. It's honestly a little bit like that. 1-2 online is a
Starting point is 00:01:50 pretty difficult game. I'm playing Blitz as well, which is a faster speed game. You see a lot more hands. Better people there, I would assume, right? I think I'm playing against very strong people. So did Dirty. He seemed to think that the people I was playing against there were harder than the people that he would normally play against when he was just playing like his regular games and
Starting point is 00:02:08 harder than like anything we normally play at the casino. Just because the people who are playing that online are probably trying to play it for a living and not so much for shits and giggles. See, poker is still not very interesting to me. but on the Hangout, when you were streaming it, and when you were talking through every decision, and you're like, you know, 6-5, but because of that flop, it means I got a pretty good percentage on this. And because of this, and because that guy's bet, I can make an assumption on what he has, and based on that, I'm going to bet this. And I'm like, okay, I can see the thought process now, whereas before it was just kind of a flutter of cards
Starting point is 00:02:47 and didn't really get it. Yeah, there's a couple of different theories on how to quote-unquote beat poker or play poker or whatever you want to call it, and then there's guys who are like, ah, no one is correct. It's a mixture of all of your ideas. It's like religion.
Starting point is 00:03:01 It probably is. I think if you're really playing against people who have also studied there's probably some sort of mixture thing i watched a cool little quasi documentary on youtube um yesterday that got me fired up about poker not yesterday but like late last night um it's on youtube and it's the true story of this guy named beal um it's his last name and beal, and is probably, one of the richest men in America. Forbes named him like,
Starting point is 00:03:28 he's in the top 25 or something. He's a hundred millionaire. No, he's a billionaire. He's a billionaire. And he became obsessed with Texas Hold'em poker and the idea of playing against the professionals out in Vegas. This is like, I think this is in the 90s,
Starting point is 00:03:44 but I'm not positive maybe late 90s early 20s i think it's named andy beal andy beal okay and um basically he got mixed up with the toughest professional poker players in the world the celebrity poker players like doyle brunson and and jennifer harman and howard letterer and these guys and they called themselves the corporation this group of poker players. And what ended up happening to sort of cut the story a bit short and also save you a little bit of fun. If you, anybody wants to watch this YouTube video, that's kind of a documentary. The corporation ended up having to pool their money together so that they could
Starting point is 00:04:18 play against this man because, because, because his, like one of his little ideas about how to be the best in the world was, the issue is they don't care about money anymore. They've gotten to the point where they don't see that as $1,000 and $2,000. They see that as one big blind and two big blinds. So it's nothing to them. It's a checker piece. It's a chess piece.
Starting point is 00:04:42 It's baked into the game for them. They're not thinking about it. They're playing chess with dollars, but they just don't care. They're pieces to them. That's a queen, not $10,000. They don't care. And so he was doing pretty well. So they have to pool their money.
Starting point is 00:04:54 And he also wants to play heads up. He doesn't want to play a table full of people. It's you versus me. What is heads up? 1v1? Yeah, 1v1. What is heads up? 1v1?
Starting point is 00:05:02 Yeah, 1v1. And so they ended up finally playing for, I believe it was $100,000, $200,000 blinds. That means every hand you are compelled to put in $100,000 and $200,000. And if the man who has put in $100,000 hates his cards, he's out $100,000. He's just out $100,000. thousand dollars hates his cards he's out a hundred grand he's just out a hundred grand like and meanwhile to the billionaire he's raised it to the level that he's still doesn't give two shits about the money that's nothing to him the billionaire is quite is probably quite often saying no not 200 grand let's make it 500 grand to like see to see the first three cards after this person like yeah i can make it a hundred thousand more and they're like no let's make it four hundred thousand more by the way you just invested two hundred thousand
Starting point is 00:05:47 that you didn't have to i want to see like jeff bezos take the poker world by storm by inventing the one billion small blind two billion some people compile their money together to play against jeff bezos though because this guy was it was actually a genius he's like he owns an aerospace company and a bank. So it's like, he wasn't one of those guys who was like, maybe I'll put my money on this and it just took off. Yeah, he doesn't want to get too narrow in his focus.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Banking, aerospace. I don't want to derail you. Mark Cuban, I sometimes think of that. What do you invest in? Radio or something? I thought it worked. I might be mixing him up with Silicon Valley. Please, carry on. He's not that guy.
Starting point is 00:06:28 As a point of wealth for this guy, Andy Beal, he's over twice as wealthy as Mark Cuban. Yeah, yeah, a scary amount of money. So Beal got obsessed. He took multiple trips out there to play these guys at varyingly large stakes, 30,000, 60,000, stuff like that they would play. And with mixed results, he would, he would win some and he would think, aha, I've got it.
Starting point is 00:06:50 And then he would cut, but, but, but he would play too long and he would get sleepy and he would play a little sloppy and his whole system would break down and they take him for 10 million in a day. And, and, and, and he'd go home depressed and he'd, he wrote a computer program on, um, whatever, whatever operating system he had back then. I can't remember what they called it. It was something that I wasn't familiar with, but he wrote his own computer card program because there weren't any. And he studied millions of hands to determine probabilities and statistics and odds. And he read every poker book that was made and he keeps going back at them. And they keep having scramble to like meet this man's demands because
Starting point is 00:07:26 he's the one showing up with 10 million dollars every time of his money they're pooling together 300 000 400 000 each to be able to play against him he's just showing up with his purse and so like they have these issues where where he's like all right i will show up and i will play for three days each day i will play a minimum of four hours. You will play a minimum. You will play as long as I want to play up to eight hours. I will face no more than two opponents per day. You can only switch out once. I will not play Howard letterer.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I will no longer play against Howard letterer in our games. And I will no longer play against Todd Brunson because somehow Todd can just read me like a book, and I don't know what Howard Letter is doing, but it's not working out for me. And so they would agree to these ridiculous terms like, yeah, let's take our two best players out and let him play our two medium players all day as long as he wants, and he would take them for $10 million,
Starting point is 00:08:19 and then they would sit there like, oh, my God, we all just lost half a million dollars here. What are we going to fucking do? And he'd show up two weeks later and lose back 12 i think i think they calculated in like all time because that's what you always say what are you like what's your all time win loss he's like down 100 million oh my he lost like 100 million to those those poker pros and like he was i looked up the name of the bank it's called beal bank so he's the top guy that he's worth 10.4 billion i i couldn't
Starting point is 00:08:47 do it in my head because i'm a retard 10 million he loses 10 million in a day that's 0.1 yeah of his network he would talk one he said that he would be working on a 50 million dollar deal like in a boardroom and his mind is drifting to poker hands and he's just like he's not able to to continue because it just i think what you had is a guy who was just so successful everything he he he put his hand to especially when he tried this wasn't a guy who just like everything was easy this is a guy who's trying his fucking hard out who normally just just bulldozes his way through everything intellectual everything competitive everything business related and he's running to these fucking gamblers in las vegas who are like calculating the odds yeah
Starting point is 00:09:30 all right let's do that then and you know it's crazy that's a fun he's a really smart guy but he's going up against really smart specialists yeah in their specialty so yeah like obviously he didn't take on usain bolt that's not an area where he thought he had any chance yeah he's going in a competition of the minds oh so here's the funny part that i kind of forget forgot to mention it's a little um side note it's difficult to get a game created that is of those high blinds and here's why first of all you don't want to play in a private game at someone's house for that much money they're gonna be cheating or colluding there could be buzzers and mirrors and switches and the dealer could be on the take you want to be in the casino's controlled environment
Starting point is 00:10:13 but the casino doesn't have heads up poker tables poker doesn't really make any money for them they almost at that point didn't have poker tables because slots and everything else made so much money and poker just didn't. This Beal guy is telling the casino, hey, make me a heads up table. They're like, we have long tables. Anyone who would like to sit for that blind will sit for that blind. He's like, I'm bringing $10 million. Well, we'll make a table
Starting point is 00:10:38 that is of the blinds that you would like to play, but anyone can sit down at it that would like. We can't tell people they can't sit down at a table. We can't. Make it $20 million. We can't tell people they can't sit down at a table. We can't. Make it $20 million. Make me do it. And so when they first started, he was like,
Starting point is 00:10:51 all right, well, we'll just make the blinds so high that only no one would sit down. And it's not like we're advertising. Someone would have to walk into the casino today and say, I want to play for $50,000, $100,000 blinds. And he did. Wait, someone did? Someone did. Another well-known professional poker player
Starting point is 00:11:09 who had no idea that the corporation had been pooling their $10 million together to play against this guy. He's like, that looks like fun. And he sits down and takes him for $4 million himself personally and walks away. And the corporation is like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:11:23 We're pooling our money here. We got a whole thing going on on you jump in with us like you're one of us now one of us one of us we work as a team here where's that come from one of us that's one for wall street that's pretty awesome i remember now i mean like it's funny thinking like this guy is like 10 million for my own table like with the amount of money this guy has, I'm surprised he's not like, you know what? I bought a huge plot of land in Vegas and I'm building the Beale Casino where we do exactly what I want all the time. Well, you can't afford a casino. Oh, I can't.
Starting point is 00:11:56 I run a bank. I was impressed. I was more impressed by the aerospace company because the bank thing kind of seems like there's a model for that. And what you really need is like a team. An enormous amount of capital. Yeah. Yeah. That's part one.
Starting point is 00:12:10 And then like connections and stuff to like get plugged in. But it seems like with aerospace, it's like, Oh, did you make a shitty plane? Cool. We're going to go sleep with Lockheed though. Cause you know,
Starting point is 00:12:20 they make good stuff. Yeah. No, no, we're not buying your plane, sir. But somehow he made a successful aerospace company they should make like this is a really cool story like i know you said
Starting point is 00:12:30 there was a doc like a youtube doc made about it they should it's not poker's not a sport but they could still do like a 30 for 30 on it like espn that'd be really cool yeah i mean espn does play the world series of poker yeah it's weird calling it a sport because i've always had this thought process that like i know what sports are it's almost like porn like when you see it you know it it's definitely it's a game a very impressive game to be good at but it's not when i see people playing table tennis i'm like that's a sport like especially at like the olympic level or whatever where they're getting wild those chinese guys yeah i saw one if it's athletic and two people are competing against each other, then it's a sport, right?
Starting point is 00:13:07 Like table tennis, wrestling, any of the timed sports, track, swimming, et cetera, that's a sport. Where it gets to be trickier is when it's judged. It gets paramotoring even a sport. It would depend how it's structured. Because if racing is a sport, like if track and field is a sport, then racing anything is a sport like it would depend how it's competing because that would like if racing is a sport like a track and field is a sport then racing anything is a sport right i think competition is required for for sport jogging is not a sport
Starting point is 00:13:34 like for my personal definition of sport because like maybe sport just means to frolic but my personal definition is some sort of competition between individuals or teams and so like something like hope but it needs to be a physical athletic competition athletic competition is the better is the better indicator because the well it's physical move the chess pieces i could tell you where to move them and it would still be playing someone's gonna come at me and tell me they burned like just thinking that hard burns 1200 calories in a single chest match these guys dehydrate a pound of fluid a pound huh that would be so funny like in like they're like in their corner you know that's all right for chess you gotta watch those
Starting point is 00:14:18 pawns rock what's uh that's a pint right uh uh a pint of sweat so i think a gallon is eight pounds so it's a pint and eight yeah okay yeah yeah um yeah i thought it was a cool story i was gonna say i thought it was a cool story i'll i'll what is it called what's the actual name of it yeah let me go through my youtube history i'll watch that that sounds really interesting i was curious about the program he wrote and i couldn't find any details it was very rudimentary obviously the stuff they have now like i've got a solver a thing on my on my phone that like does what he what he figured out masterfully but at the time what it was is no one had well they knew that two aces was real good but did they know exactly how good it right can you quantify how good it is he quantified
Starting point is 00:15:06 these things um i still struggle with the fact that a hand can be good if you're like near the button but if you're on the other side of the button that same hand is less impressive and i'm not there yet ah yeah yeah i it would take a minute to explain, but it's not complicated. It's more about, I'm trying to think of a metaphor or an analogy or something, like something that's similar. It's just that... It's probably hard to draw a comparison. Since it seems like a pretty unique scenario.
Starting point is 00:15:44 It's just that they're more likely information if you're near the button or far from it or something right it it it is but but what it really is is they're more likely to have stronger hands um the the closer they are um to the uh the opening um like the first person to act is the most likely person to have a strong hand if he has acted because there are a lot of people that act after him. He's making this action knowing that, not caring rather, what they have.
Starting point is 00:16:14 There's three more people, four more people to act after me. I have no idea what they're going to do, and yet we're not playing for enough money yet. This guy must be pretty strong, but if you're the last person to act, if you've seen that everybody else folded or just put in the minimum,
Starting point is 00:16:30 it seems like they're feeling rather reluctant about their hands or wishy-washy. You can raise and put more money in with a weaker holding of a hand confidently or more confidently in that situation. And that's the like the simple explanation but um it gets broken down more um because of things like the button and the blinds this almost like for the sake of this segue we'll say poker's a sport but i watched that documentary
Starting point is 00:17:00 um untold uh crime and penaltiesalties that Woody recommended. And Woody, you undersold it. This is the best sports documentary I've ever watched. As I was watching it initially, I was like, this is interesting. You don't even need the sport to be hockey. And then you're like, well,
Starting point is 00:17:20 because of the fighting, you do need it to be hockey for it to work. But so Kyle, basically, there is a family in Connecticut in the early 2000s run by a guy named Jimmy Galanti. And as they're doing this, there's an FBI. It's a Netflix interview and a documentary. There's an FBI guy who's like, yeah, we were trying to connect through Joe Gatto, one of his capos, Joey the Horse, you know, Guglini or something. Not the horse!
Starting point is 00:17:48 And under the horse, Guglini, was this guy Jimmy Galante. And he was like, and a lot of people speculate this is where The Sopranos was based on because this guy Jimmy Galante had a son named AJ and he was in the waste management industry. And they set the stage early where this kid, AJ, AJ, the 17-year-old who got a hockey team bought for him by his dad, he was like, I knew our family was a little different when, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:16 in like second grade, they sat us around. They said, you know, tell us like a lesson you learned from your family. And Tommy, yeah, he's like a value. And from the family and and it was like yeah it's like a value and tommy said you don't want to beat somebody up you don't want to be mean someone else said don't bully people for being different from you and i said you never rat you always remain loyal to those close to you and it made sense to me because that's what i was taught you never rat you always remain close to those loyal those you. And so this guy, his dad, AJ's dad, Jimmy, buys a team in the UHL,
Starting point is 00:18:51 which is like in the same tier as like the AHL, which is the minor league of the NHL. So it's a major minor league. Is this like a $2 million team? Definitely more than that, but I don't know how much. Yeah, definitely more than that. Okay, a shocking amount of money this is not this is not like for funsies he has spent millions of dollars and and there's
Starting point is 00:19:10 like a team of people that he has to coordinate with at this point correct correct and so they go through this whole story and he buys it for his son and he he wants it to be a surprise for his son and so his son played hockey and he was an enforcer. You see the son is a little kid. He's the nerdiest. Little Woody could have beat this guy up easily. But by the time he hits like his deeper teens, like 16, 17, he's a hockey enforcer. And his dad's like, you know, I watched him play.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I didn't know how tough he was. I was so proud of him. The kid would just beat the fuck out of everyone until one day AJ delivers a really hard check and gets injured in such a way that his personal hockey career is over he wasn't going to go pro or anything
Starting point is 00:19:57 but he really misses the ability to play and so for a couple years after that I guess he's depressed about it. But then he buys him a team. And the way he finds out that a team, like you said, not a wishy-washy bullshit team, a multi-multi-million dollar minor league franchise. He said he went to school and everyone was like, congratulations, AJ. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:20:21 And he said, someone gave me the paper i look at it and it said someone bought the danford trashers and you know my dad and he's giving it to me to be the general manager and the president meaning that he gets to pick everything and he's like he's he's 17 he's the gm and he's 17 he's picking all the players for the team he's picking all the players for the team and everything the first player he signs is Gretzky. Yeah. And this kid was a marketing genius. He's like, my whole life, I was a huge NHL fan, huge WWE fan. And I knew we're playing minor league and it's Danford. They've never had a pro team.
Starting point is 00:20:56 So the people here will be interested. But how will we get more interest from like the NHL and the higher hockey community? And so, Kyle, you may not know. Wayne Gretzky has a brother named Brent Gretzky who also played professional hockey. He played a couple games in the NHL and he got two points. Yeah, he and his brother combined
Starting point is 00:21:14 for the greatest amount of points of brothers in NHL history. And he had two points. And so they pushed out there this PR thing of we're signing Gretzky. And it got a ton of interest. And then they signed Brent gretzky and it got a ton of interest and then they signed brent gretzky and he goes out and he signs some of the biggest bruisers in in the minor league history and if you if you don't follow hockey like if you see an nhl fight it is leagues
Starting point is 00:21:38 different than a minor league fight the minor league guys fight like their jobs are a hundred percent not their jobs, their livelihood, because they're not making the money of an NHL enforcer. So they're like fighting so hard. It's very common in the minor leagues for them to reach the critical mass. If you fight more than three times in the game, you're removed from the game. That doesn't ever happen in the NHL and minor leagues. It does.
Starting point is 00:21:59 Yeah. So he starts building this team and some of the players. I listened to a Spitting Chicklets interview with one of the players and he was like, yeah, the guy, Jimmy, he called me. He offered he asked me what the previous minor league team in this other league was offering me. And he goes, I'll double that. I'll over double that. You come here. I'm flying you out to Connecticut, to Danford. We're going to take you out on the town. And he said, the player was like, it was wild. He said, you know, my agent said, he's going to want to pay you in cash. And I was like, well, of course he wants to pay me cash money. And he's like, no, he wants to give you a duffel bag of money. And so that's apparently
Starting point is 00:22:40 the way all of these players are being paid. And not only duffel bags of cash, this guy also, he was like, and I had no idea, but I started getting checks. Apparently, my wife and I and my cousin, we all worked for the waste management company. And we also all worked for this pool cleaning institute. We were all getting checks there. And so all these players, they're totally circumventing the cap by giving them their salary and then giving them duffel bags of cash and putting them on the payroll of waste management companies. And to keep it more separated, they usually minor league players. They're not living in houses. They're not living in super nice places.
Starting point is 00:23:17 This guy set up an entire secluded, gated community just for the players he had gotten to keep them like isolated so they lived in he built a community for the subdivision that was gorgeous he did he's like the lakefront i'm in what's this called what's this called it's called untold crime and and penalties apparently untold is uh i'm gonna call it a franchise i might use the word wrong in the same way that like 30 for 30 is like untold something is a bunch of different documents yeah and and netflix is trying to get into it and just like a couple of funny stories they were telling throughout it so uh the 17 year old manager or gm the the bruiser he got first he was being interviewed and he's like yeah the first game i went out there and i look up and aj he's waving his phone at me and so i go over to the bench and i i pick up the
Starting point is 00:24:10 phone and aj says as soon as before their inaugural game this is the first game in their history as soon as the game starts beat the shit out of that guy in front of you. And so he, as soon as it starts, gloves down, beats, just a holy beating. There's blood all over the ice. Why are you mad at me? All over the ice, there's blood, and everybody's, yeah, yeah, freaking out. There was apparently the equipment manager. Wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:38 I want to understand the first one thoroughly. Yeah. He waves the phone to get his attention. There's no one on the phone? Yeah. He was waving the phone to go pick up the phone on the bench oh my god he's in the stand he's in the course he's in the stands he's not the coach he's the president and the gm yeah this whole time for some reason i also had it in my mind that he's like he's the coach too like
Starting point is 00:24:59 why wouldn't he be no no he's standing up high in like the boxes and you know he takes the phone pick up the phone i'm like i don't know a bag under the bench or something and it gets the message and he got the message man he put a hit on somebody yeah he did oh it's so fucking funny i i didn't know that the equipment managers were responsible for for setting up the opponent's locker room as well with towels with things like that i didn't know that the equipment manager interviews this guy is so obviously a mob enforcer that just moonlights as an equipment manager and they were interviewing him he's smoking a cigar every time they'd say something about jimmy his like superior in the mob he'd be like don't you say anything negative about jimmy to me you're gonna get your teeth not like don't you fucking
Starting point is 00:25:51 say that you never talk bad to jimmy and so they go they start asking him they go so t-bone was his name so do you know any truth to the fact that you used to go and turn off the hot water for the opponents? The president of the entire league, this is the guy who makes sure that every team complies, hated the equipment. He hated this whole team. He couldn't stand them. He's like, this is the first time we have ever fined and suspended an equipment manager before. So then they lead into this interview interview that taylor's about to go into so they interview him first of all this this is the commissioner of the uhl is like not only was it the first time in uhl history it's the first time in hockey history an equipment manager has
Starting point is 00:26:40 been suspended for misconduct and so and so they're like laying out a litany of things. It's like, so T-Bone, was it a common occurrence for you to leave like six sheets of like paper thin towels, like hand towels to the entire team? And he's like, no comment. And they're like, do you recall after the games, you turning off the hot water to the opponent's dressing room? And he's like, I don't remember anything about this.
Starting point is 00:27:06 And then one of the worst things he did, they go, do you remember stealing the opponent's goalie gear so that they weren't able to play in the gear that they had brought? And he's like, that sounds like something totally over the line.
Starting point is 00:27:25 And it only ever happens here. It is so fucking funny. You'll love it. Taylor hasn't even hit the good parts yet. The good parts for me were about the fighting. Oh, the fighting is brutal. So the tough guy, this is actually the one who got in the fight earlier at the very start of the season. I guess they don't describe it exactly, but through some sort of cheap play, his leg is broken.
Starting point is 00:27:53 And his leg is broken, and they don't know how bad it is, but they know it's bad. And his best friend on the team is also an enforcer. I'm not familiar with teams with all these enforcers on them. That's how they ran. Anyway, the other enforcer's name is the Nigerian Nightmare. And he's like, I knew the injury was bad. I didn't even know if he'd play again. Well, I did what I did.
Starting point is 00:28:24 And then they cut to the footage he's just fucking up everybody he is just he is absolutely ragdolling people and then and then something that is looked down on in hockey knocking out one opponent and then picking the guy closest to you and fighting him also and at one of the guys got suspended because uh they were like yeah he was supposed to be a wild crazy guy for us and then we brought him for the first game and it kind of petered out and then he told us you know and even aj he was like i tried to get a hold of this guy he must have fallen off the face of the earth i haven't heard from him in 16 years now the guy apparently came out the second game after apologizing to Jimmy, the owner,
Starting point is 00:29:07 and being like, I'm going to make you proud this one by doing what you brought me here for. He got in a huge fight, bloodied some guy up, and he was like pretending to skate to the box with the ref. And then he doubles back away from the ref and skates toward the bench, grabs the opposing team coach's tie, and pulls him.
Starting point is 00:29:25 And he said the only reason he wasn't pulled onto the ice is some of the players on the team held the coach into the bench. And the commissioner's like, wait. Wait. The hooligans beat a man senseless. They're escorting him to the penalty box, or perhaps just off the ice because he just assaulted a man. And he skates away at the last moment only to assault the opposing coach.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Correct. And apparently. Something I've never even heard of. Some guy that like I don't remember his name, but apparently the game ended. The commissioner immediately banned him for life from the league. And I was listening on the spit and chiclets interview they're like did you ever hear from that guy again and aj's like no 16 years i've reached out i've tried to see what's up with him after that night the last time i saw him was assaulting the coach on on the bench and then he just left you know what's you know
Starting point is 00:30:22 what's funny i bet jimmy was trying to take care of him right like i bet i bet he saw that heard the guy got suspended i bet it like like one thing all right so all my knowledge is based off watching sopranos but one thing that like i've noticed from them it seems like they're they get the revenge all the time like like that that's money that's owed it seems like when they don't like money to be owed, they like balances to be settled. And if they don't, as bad as owing someone else is being, or,
Starting point is 00:30:50 or, or as bad as being owed is being owing someone else is almost worse. It seems like they don't seem to like that. I have a theory on that. I think that it also, like, if I make good with you in that situation, you're less likely to rat you know oh yeah it
Starting point is 00:31:07 should be in like you and your family everyone's financial interest to face the music and by paying you that's there if on the other hand your life is fucked you have nothing going on you're going to be broke you're going to prison you have no income. Everything is ruined. Why wouldn't you rat? You have nothing to lose. Yeah, and the other thing is by you accepting that money, you are now becoming an accessory to some extent, most likely, into whatever we're up to. There's that great scene in Sopranos where Beansy has been fucking crippled by Richie April, and Tony's like, you've got to take the money.
Starting point is 00:31:42 You've got to take the money because by taking that money, he's accepting a bribe. He's incorporating himself into the whole crime and dirtying himself along with everyone else so that he can't rap. There's that scene where it's implied. Tony's like, either you take this money or we're going to have to go down a different
Starting point is 00:32:00 road as much as I love you. He's like, thank you, Tony. I'll take it. Thank you, Tony. I'll take it. Thank you, Tony. I think you're both hitting the nail on the head with that. And to add to it, that guy you mentioned, Woody, who pulled... The Nigerian Nightmare? No, before him. The guy who broke the Trashers player's leg.
Starting point is 00:32:20 The guy who got his leg broke was like approached by jimmy's guys afterward and they were like yeah that guy who hurt you we got his name we got his address we know his wife's place of work you tell us how you want to handle this and he was like and i didn't really know what to say but i just said no let me handle it on the ice they say i'm never gonna play again i'm gonna play again and i'll handle it myself and i'm sure that was just as much like please don't kill anyone in my name but they were 100 about to and i think taylor right even like skipped a few steps there they're like you know we know this we know this we know where he lives we know his like they they made the back door unlocked it was really clear what they were offering. Apparently, every time they won a game,
Starting point is 00:33:07 Jimmy would go in there and throw 10 grand on the ground, or AJ, and be like, have fun. And then they also interviewed him, and they were like, to go out to the bars and everything, which is a huge amount of money for a bunch of minor league players to have after every win. It's a gargantuan amount. And all of these big bruisers, scary guys, horrifying.
Starting point is 00:33:28 The biggest bruisers in hockey in the early 2000s, late 90s, they were like, and sometimes we would get beat bad. And we'd all be sitting there getting undressed, and then Jimmy would walk in. And he wasn't like an imposing guy, but we were all so scared. Every time we would just hope if we were just quiet and we didn't look at him, it would go away. But somehow, just him walking in there silently glaring at us was enough to get us motivated for the next game like like a dog who would shoot up the fucking cereal box oh yeah and that guy jimmy the the mob connected one the father of aj who was the gm and president
Starting point is 00:33:59 he got in trouble he was one of the first gs ever to get suspended because he got in a verbal altercation with a referee during a game and he punched the referee in the face. Awesome. The referee said, fuck you. If I recall. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck you. And he starts coming through and like all of his like, hold me back.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Guys are like, I'm not holding Jimmy back. I just let him walk through, hit the ref, and it was handled pretty quickly. That's awesome. It's such a cool documentary. It's so neat. It's on Netflix. Awesome. Yeah, I'm going to watch it late tonight.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I tried not to give away. There's still a lot left, Kyle. You will enjoy it. There's so much. How long? Is it episodic? It's an hour and 27 minutes. I just watched it earlier.
Starting point is 00:34:43 That sounds great. I'm going to check it out. I was hoping it was one of those mini-series where you got four episodes and each one things escalate. That's how Tiger King entertains so well. You're three episodes in
Starting point is 00:34:58 and you haven't heard the worst of it. I won't spoil the film, sorry. And then I think you're five episodes and when the guy gets shot which shoots himself like something like that even five episodes in it's like we can still shock the fuck out of you with how crazy this story is you realize that right like like we're five hours into telling you a story and you're about to drop you drop your jaw at the end of the thing taylor and i are talking about i won't spoil it but they do a good job of like putting a bow on it and letting you know like uh how things worked out that's
Starting point is 00:35:32 awesome that's awesome i i'm looking forward to watching that that sounds really good because i like mob shit anyway that that's a that that's always just such a fascinating world um and then compare mixing it with uh what's the old uh hockey movie that everybody loves the uh slap shot is what you're talking yeah like comparing it with it's like slap shot meets the fucking godfather dude they literally hired a pair of brothers in this show they do they have a team i think they're the goal scorers though they are they're like the two like really good guys and their interviews together are are hilarious because one guy will be asking. He'll be like, well, the thing about we were trying to score and everything, and then he gets interrupted.
Starting point is 00:36:09 He's like, you're always fucking interrupting me right when they fucking ask me the question. Is Netflix going to get any of my content or just fucking you? The Sopranos thing you were saying, Kyle? The Sopranos thing you were saying, Kyle? This guy, Jimmy Galante, the main guy, he has a signed photo of the Sopranos signed by James Gandolfini that says, to the real
Starting point is 00:36:31 Tony Soprano. Oh, nice. Oh, that's nice. Which is pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the coolest pieces of memorabilia you could possibly have. That's awesome. Yeah. Very, very nice. Everyone, I recommend recommend that i got so fucking high last night and i i came up uh i thought i came up with a really funny movie
Starting point is 00:36:50 idea and i told you i've been i write any funny ideas or jokes i come up with on my fridge really quickly because i've got one of those like magnet boards yeah and uh and uh so here's let me see yeah we've got time for this nonsense movie pitch all All right. So here's the movie idea I came up with. And I was chuckling to myself. Hi. I love doing that. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:37:11 So you got a guy who works in a museum. He's like kind of your nerdy, everyman kind of guy, kind of like a Peter Parker type character. Really what this is, this is Spider-Man meets, what did I write down? This is what I wrote at the top. It was this colon and then everything else. It was Spider-Man meets A Knight's Tale. You ever see A Knight's Tale? I've seen A Knight's Tale.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Yeah. This is Spider-Man meets A Knight's Tale. This is modern day, but the kid works in a museum. And he's like down on his luck. Girl doesn't like him. He's got bully problems. This is literally copying Spider-Man. He's goofing off at the museum and he
Starting point is 00:37:50 has access to the armor and stuff and he's putting on fucking Charlemagne's armor. Goofing around looking at it when he sees a crime occurring out the window. Some girl is in trouble. Street hooligans with knives are accosting her and he goes outside in the fucking Charlemagne
Starting point is 00:38:05 armor and like takes them on and somebody snaps a photo and it becomes like a story about like the night of like eighth street or something like that and he starts going out in the fucking armor and fighting crime and the guy the old guy at the museum becomes his alfred he's like he's like looking in the paper and he's like that's the that's the brooch of Charlemagne the first. I wonder if anyone else in the world would have noticed that. You'd better hope not. I think you need to upgrade, sir. He's even British.
Starting point is 00:38:35 I love it. And perhaps not in the most expensive piece of armor in all of Europe. And so then he starts kitting him out with some upgraded armor. From around the museum. No, there's the scene with the hammer and the forge now now we're making some real shit now he goes from like the charlemagne nonsense that's all mismatched you know that peter parker outfit where he's like ski mask and stuff now he goes into like the regular spider-man so he's got his alfred cooking him up cool armor and stuff and he and he starts fighting crime and he and he ends up getting, like in a whole standoff,
Starting point is 00:39:06 it becomes a publicity thing. And at the end, the queen knights him because it makes more sense to be on his side. Don't spoil it. Well, you know, at the end, he literally becomes a knight. And there's that scene where he looks at the camera, like if he's going to continue or not. And you're totally setting it up for the sequel,
Starting point is 00:39:21 you know, Knight's Tale 2. Is he handling, like handling very minor crimes? Spider-Man crimes, like street hooligans. I would, in this scenario, he would, and this is the trope, for the first half of the movie, as he's riding high, he's just
Starting point is 00:39:37 beating up unorganized street thugs. But then there's a street gang that's going to be his nemesis. They're going to be the ones who hit back. They find out where he lives and beat up his family or kidnap a relative or something. Then he's got to step his game up. You know, it would be a good thing as if like he could wear the armor and gain the power of the historical figure. But it was a constant battle between his mind being conquered by that historical figures armor versus himself. So like he gets in Genghis Khan's robes or whatever.
Starting point is 00:40:04 And now he's the ultimate archer, the ultimate sword. Can I just stop you right there? You write your own fucking movie, OK? historical figures armor verse himself so like he gets in gangas cons robes or whatever and now he's the ultimate archer the ultimate sword can i just stop you right there you write your own fucking movie okay i'm writing it right now the ultimate right the ultimate rider the ultimate swordsman but like he's like out about to kill he's about to kill someone who committed a robbery and then he gets like a mind coming in he's like oh they will be good in your ancillary they could help you rape and he gets like a mind coming in. He's like, oh, they will be good in your ancillary. They could help you rape. And he's like, no.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Oh, they could help you rape so many women. And then he kills it. And then he has to run home to his Alfred and get that armor off real quick. And then it's a but no matter what historical armor he puts on, it's an Asian voice saying, it helps too, but he would help us rape. He wants to get advice, so he's putting on Winston Churchill's hat, but it still has that accent. It just makes you drunk when you put it on.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Very drunk. I'm an admirer of Winston Churchill. I really am. I think it's extraordinary what he did. The amount of cigars he pounded through. Unreal. Have you seen the list of alcohol? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 I don't know how he was alive throughout even that year's stretch. He was drinking in the morning every day for years. If he actually drank half of what they say he drank, and you would imagine that he drank more than they say he drank. You'd think they'd undersell it. Yeah, or they would maybe not try to say something bad about Winston Churchill. Maybe they'd be like, well, he drank a bottle a day. When really he drank two.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Two is like, you're dead soon. One is like, man, you got a problem. But he drank like several bottles of like various alcohols like like he had this like he was such a connoisseur it was like yes four glasses of brandy and a pint of wine like like it was always some weird mixed drip shit he was drinking 30 drinks a day and every single one of them was like tippity top most expensive everything was fancy shit yeah yeah and but, yeah. But I mean, meanwhile, I don't know. I find that part of the
Starting point is 00:42:08 war... There's so many parts of the war... And smoking stogies. Can you imagine Winston Churchill's breath? I bet he didn't brush his teeth very well in the morning. He had to get right to those war reports. Probably not at all. You know what the Jerrys were up to. Had to figure it out.
Starting point is 00:42:23 I'm just an alcoholic, man. Fucking Kraut, sir. Just crossed the channel over there. He won the war? He did win the war. know what the jerrys were up to had to figure it out functional alcoholic fucking kraut so just across the channel over there you won the war he did win the war um well what would that with a little help from stalin i mean it's really overrate stop they they value stalin's input based on the amount of deaths he had right they're like and kills the russians had so many more deaths you know what i like soldiers who don't die okay yeah bunch of fucking losers that's why the hondurans are the real winners of world war ii not a single death okay they went in there and they got out clean okay and they won it is so funny how like making that up that that history like changed throughout
Starting point is 00:43:06 american public perception because like apparently like just post-world war ii it was like surveys even through american people like who did the bulk of the work and defeating the nazis everyone was like well the u.s helped but i mean obviously the soviets and then over time like as the cold war went on like by the time it was the 90s, people were like, they barely helped at all. It was America who did all the work. And it's like, no, without the Soviets, the Nazis would have trounced. In the 90s, when I learned about this, when I was most impressionable about this sort of thing,
Starting point is 00:43:38 it was really like they were getting their asses handed to them. The British, I guess the French kind of did, but all the allies were just hardly doing anything. And then the Americans came in there like Captain America and just fucking like Sauron.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Do I have the guy's name right? Close enough. It's close enough. Yeah. We went in there like that and just swooped down Nazis with our giant swords yeah seven ten fifty kills at a time yeah like you look up like the real historian data like there's some metric by which you can look at the most successful units in world war ii by like victories and number of like opposing units and casualties and things and like the top 10 list, it's all Nazis. And so like we literally Nazi zombie to them to death. Like they were running out of bullets and things.
Starting point is 00:44:31 And we're just keep sending more fucking Soviets until we win. I question. Sometimes I feel like the Nazis get so much respect for. I don't think so. Okay. Everybody loves the Nazis. But like, they're like, oh my God, their rockets were so incredible Okay. Everybody loves the Nazis. But like, they're like,
Starting point is 00:44:45 oh my God, their rockets were so incredible and their tanks were so incredible. And they had this gigantic super artillery gun and this, that, and the other. And it's like, yeah, let's talk about their horses versus our Jeeps.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Let's talk about the fact that those tanks were like not repairable. You had to take the top off to fix the engine. When was that with the Nazis? In World War II, they used horses. those tanks were like not repairable. You had to take the top off to fix the engine. There was a jeeps. When was that with the Nazis? In World War II, they used horses. They literally used horses to carry their materials around. Whatever they were using.
Starting point is 00:45:13 It was the whole Blitzkrieg thing though. That was all mechanized warfare, right? With the, with the tanks and the trucks and stuff that was probably, I don't know. You said all, which is a lot,
Starting point is 00:45:21 but I mean, if there were horses, they were in, they were keeping up. It worked like, yeah, they also had, I mean, if there were horses and they were keeping up, it worked. Yeah, they also had, I mean, because they were on their home front, they had way fewer, I would imagine, supply line. Well, not fewer supply line issues after the bombing started. What's interesting about that whole thing is the technological gap
Starting point is 00:45:40 that has somehow formed in the like like like like like like in the world at that point in time considering that world war one had just happened like like 15 or 20 years prior and so many sanctions and fines and nonsense had been placed on germany they were they were at such a disadvantage already like like economically and of course militarily they couldn't develop anything during those years and then somehow like like like Hitler comes to power, and they rapidly not only catch up in the same way. But surpass us. But surpass everyone in this technological race on every front, whether it's aircraft or tank or anti-tank weapons, whether it's the soldiers' rifles,
Starting point is 00:46:25 their pistols, almost every piece of kit the Nazis had going into World War II, no matter what part of the war you pick, their best was probably the best. Oh, yeah. You hear stories about U.S. soldiers dropping their own weapons and picking up Nazi ones
Starting point is 00:46:41 when they got the opportunity because they were better. It's not that the U.S. didn't have good guns. The Thompson's an excellent gun. I would rather have a Thompson than an MP40. The Garand... The Garand is a very powerful weapon that's incredibly accurate and you can deliver a lot of firepower downrange. And I don't know if those MP44, you know,
Starting point is 00:47:08 those fully automatic assault rifles that we're familiar with because of Call of Duty. I've shot one before. I don't know if those were actually prevalent anywhere. If you had to give, like, skill points, Civ style to different nationalities, Germany, 100% engineering. They should get an engineering buff in Civ.
Starting point is 00:47:28 The US, what should we get? Probably an economic buff or something? Depends on the era, right? It'd be manufacturing at one point. It's manufacturing. Still? Not anymore. That's why I said it depends on the era.
Starting point is 00:47:40 The answer is when we want it to be, it seems. It seems like we've got like because i bet right now there's a lot of uh infrastructure sitting like unused right now because we don't need to make that much steel and we don't need to make that many probably like ancient infrastructure like you couldn't just take it back up i had to quickly make masks and respirators and shit like advanced techno technological stuff new manufacturing techniques steel is using the same techniques as we use you know i thought we bought most of the the covid ppe stuff you know this fucker tried to sell me yesterday i was in a gas station yesterday i
Starting point is 00:48:16 needed a mask i i wasn't sure if i had mine in the car and i was like hey do you mask every gas station does he's like yeah he had like the m95s, though. He's like, they're $15 each. Oh, fuck you, dude. $15? I'll fucking clothespin a piece of paper to my nose before I pay $15. I was like, I will take my underwear off and wear them on my face before I pay. Because it's a pack of two. It was a $30 pack.
Starting point is 00:48:41 I don't know if I mentioned it. $50 is a two pack. It's a two pack. That's trash. You were getting hosed. He's like, they're 15 is two it's 30 that we just got them they're i don't know why they're he's like apologizing for having to sell me i'm like i'm not buying those no how quick how quick rather do these decompose like are we gonna have like a million masks or a billion billion masks forever everywhere now
Starting point is 00:49:05 or do they decompose quickly these things have to decompose a lot of my paper there's no way we we overlook this they're like made of like asbestos and plastic or something there's no way we overlook what come on it is 100 conceivable that these are the most robust materials ever. You're going to have to intentionally start an oil leak to light that on fire to burn the mask island.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Mask island. They talk about that plastic island. I have seen mask trash here and there. It's an item that gets littered. It's not quite cigarette butt. I see it all over the sides of the room. They need to come up with a way to make cigarette butts like i saw these cigarette butts once that had a flower seed in every cigarette butt so when people flicked them they were planting flowers and i was like i'm i'm all for like i don't i don't love federal
Starting point is 00:50:00 regulations on anything they should make every cigarette have a fucking flower seed in it, though. I think we can all fucking get behind that. Put a fucking flower seed in every goddamn butt and tell everybody just to flick them. What kind of flowers? It'd be a mix. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Say no more, fam.
Starting point is 00:50:20 I mean, think of how pretty our roadways would be if there was a flower every time some asshole flicked their cigarette butts. I don't think carnations would be okay with flicking their cigarette butts all over the place. We're going to make it okay. Now, it's going to be like in Dune when the guy spits on the table and they're like, thank you for blessing us with the moisture of your body.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Now, when somebody flicks a cigarette in your yard, you're going to be like, oh, thanks! In addition to the flower butt, I need a filter that goes away faster. I forget how long a filter lasts. Is it five years, 15 years? They take forever. Five years is nothing.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Come on. For the last three years, they've had in your yard. You won't even recognize them in the last three years. And they're gross. I was hoping exactly. And I mean, what is the return to nature rate on one that's on a sidewalk never i think they look class oh on the sidewalk a pigeon's gonna pick that up he's in your circle of life he's gonna
Starting point is 00:51:13 cellulose acetate plastic fibers that circle back come out with a more organic one put a flower seed in there yeah they are plastic i want. I want, in six months, to turn that cigarette butt into a flower. Can you just get rid of the filters entirely? Make everybody go back to Lucky Strikes? We are not doing that. No one is going to do that. I was smoking cigarettes before. I like the way you're thinking. What if we
Starting point is 00:51:37 made filters out of lead? Right? Really kill the smokers. Our brand new arsenic filters. Whenever I go on vacation and I i i start smoking cigarettes and i so i was smoking with the boys because one of them smoked cigarettes i can't remember who ari i think smokes um and uh and i i lit one backwards because i was fucking stoned in colorado and um they are absolutely made of some sort of plastic, which is upsetting. Yeah, you tasted that when you inhaled, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's turn off.
Starting point is 00:52:08 It's not ideal. One second. I mean, you can put better things than a flower. What would help the environment? There's nothing better than a flower. You're probably right. There's nothing better than a flower. I'm not making that up.
Starting point is 00:52:20 It exists already. How about sunflowers? That's a big seed. That's a big seed. That's a big seed. Is it? I didn't even know that. Yeah, you've seen sunflower seeds. Can't that fit in a... You don't need that husk.
Starting point is 00:52:34 You just need the germ. The middle part. I think you need the husk. I think for long-term viability. For this thing to sit on the shelf for three or four years and still get some carnations in the ground. You might be right then. I'm running some tests.
Starting point is 00:52:48 That's a good ass idea, though, putting flowers in cigarette butts. That is not my idea, but it is a great idea. Would smoking kill the flower or kill the seed? I guess not. Those things are super hardy because every now and then they get seeds that from that they find in pottery from like uh from like ancient times and stuff yeah like they'll they'll plant them and see and find this like cultivated breed of potato or carrot or something and they can see like what kind of carrot that got those people were eating back then that's another one of those things it's really interesting have you ever seen what what a watermelon used to look like oh it used to look like absolute dog shit yeah like there's there there was it was all
Starting point is 00:53:28 fibrous tissue like connected the inside and like you'd have to like core out a little bit there's an entire there's an entire branch of study devoted to the study of artwork for historical biological um um markers like basically looking at you know everybody we paint fruit now, they painted fruit then. They painted watermelons back then, and we're looking at it like, the fuck is that? Because watermelons looked awful. It's all husk
Starting point is 00:53:56 and rind, and there are these slivers of red meat that you can see where it's like, yeah, you could maybe get four bites out of a watermelon or something. It is called meat, isn't it? I don't know what it's called i pulp i don't know but but the good part yeah the good part the good part used to be teeny tiny like you could get it all out with like a like a crab fork like a melon baller is what you would have needed almost it looked terrible um and uh but but like over time... Bananas used to look awful.
Starting point is 00:54:26 We did a number on bananas. We bent bananas over and made them our bitch. All of the grain plants, the wheats and varleys and oats and all that stuff, we've made those seeds, the actual piece of wheat, gigantic compared to what it used to be. And way more of them per plant. The same with corn. it used to be um and way more of them per plant the
Starting point is 00:54:46 same with corn corn used to be this little fucking have you seen like the like the indigenous like indian corn oh yeah that's that is bullshit corn the the littlest cobs the teeniest kernels no i want big juicy kernels yeah uh all yellow yeah all of those advances in agriculture like like uh i can't remember which one there was one of them something about oh it was the the guy who figured out like adding nitrogen to the soil he's the one that without him something mendel right i just remember that like that that advance alone like feeding such a significant part of the global population but i'm sure somebody would have figured out nitrogen it's called the flesh a flesh i would to me the flesh is the outside
Starting point is 00:55:31 because i'm used to yeah but you ever try to punch a watermelon break it seems seems it seems like a bad thing to punch i can't do it they're hardier than they look they look pretty hardy yeah like i wouldn't imagine i could punch through a pumpkin you ever try to beat like a dead animal all no every opportunity i get yeah i mean they're not dead when i start i mean they're always dead when i start that's how i like it um that way they can't fight back of semen right wow that's how i that, that's how they always show up. No, I roll humiliate them even in death.
Starting point is 00:56:11 I want to show how much we dominate you deer, even in your passing as your family watches. Oh God. Your little deer family. How did we get to this? This was going to be a fun topic. I don't know. I want to talk about punching stuff,
Starting point is 00:56:24 but, but, but, but I'm going to move along. What's the biggest fruit you could punch through? You'd have to pick a big one, otherwise it's just going to bounce. I think I'd take a cantaloupe. A cantaloupe? No.
Starting point is 00:56:36 Yeah? You're going to punch straight down on a cantaloupe and split it? Yeah. Actually, I'm now imagining the softer outside of a cantaloupe. That's a much better gambit than a watermelon for sure. Pumpkin or gourd, you got no chance. I got a pumpkin.
Starting point is 00:56:52 I have my own. I'm going to go with a pumpkin that's old. No, you can't age it. Not that old, sad, brown pumpkin. A zero orange pumpkin. You're making up new rules. This is bullshit. I want one of those big pumpkins. I made a video
Starting point is 00:57:10 one time where I blew up a... I can't remember how much it weighed. It was like a 400-600 pound pumpkin. And my friend had bought it at some kind of fucking auction. They were like, I knew you'd want it. I knew you'd want it i knew you'd want it they said four hundred dollars was too much to pay for a pumpkin nobody would do it i
Starting point is 00:57:31 said kyle would pay a thousand you should have charged a thousand and i'm like you're goddamn right that's the biggest pumpkin i've ever seen in my life and we crammed it full of explosives and we vaporized that cocksucker it was was awesome. On public land, just pulled off the side of the road, put a 600-pound pumpkin in the woods. And that video exists somewhere. I don't know. That's a great-sized pumpkin. You know what I like are those photos of farmers who are so proud of their huge radish. It's just wholesome. I like this. Dude just found the world record potato. And it's just wholesome i like this dude just found the world record potato and it's like 80 bigger than the prior world record and and he had named it and he was like a real yahoo like he was funny in the interview but unintentionally and uh i think they were gonna eat it giant potato smashes world record he named it he named the potato what did you name it uh doug yep all right 17.5 pounds it's a solid name pretty solid pumpkin
Starting point is 00:58:32 or a big boy that's not a newborn yeah very ugly potato also he discovered it like like he didn't grow this potato he discovered it like that's the best part like he isn't one of those weirdos who grows giant that oh i didn't process that at first yeah so he was just strolling along looking for potatoes and discovered that i think he was gardening like he was he was he was like tilling the soil to plant something else or something and he discovered the world's largest potato like like he's again those people who like specialize in the growth of large and gigantic fruits and vegetables i guess that's enough that's a great hobby for an older person actually now that i think about it it seems like something that you know yet we can't all do inverted loop-de-loops forever you know at some point we become giant tater farmers and we're
Starting point is 00:59:21 happy with it i've already got my tractor yeah that's true you're ready to shatter this record what if what if what if what if what he gets really into the growth of like the world's biggest sunflower like it would make i will talk about it every show it would make me so happy if that was your next like he's holding he's holding up eight identical sunflowers to us and telling us about the very differences with all the passion of a pothead telling you about terpenes and fucking Skywalker like you give a
Starting point is 00:59:52 fuck it's like what do they taste like and what he's like I never touch this stuff his whole his whole property is littered with sunflowers that actually look it would be I've done that pretty or so so we would plant sunflowers because it's the like legal way to bait a field for doves um you uh like like at the correct amount of part of the season you just drive them all over with a bush hog and the act of doing that scatters sunflower seeds all over your field
Starting point is 01:00:21 and like that's bait for the doves but technically you were doing it an agricultural um endeavor so it's not it's not like you went you go buy that many sunflowers dump them out big trouble you plant sunflowers chop them up and let them be out there you're a farmer and uh and so we would often have like big beautiful plots of sunflowers they're easy like they do their own thing you don't have to do anything to them. You just plant them and they get these six, eight, nine foot tall beautiful things. There's enormous plots of sunflowers not far from me. I fly my paramotor there sometimes. Here's the deal.
Starting point is 01:00:54 I guess what happens if you have a wastewater treatment plant and you scatter the poopy water across the ground enough, there's too much nitrogen at a high level. One way that they get the nitrogen to be consumed is every year they grow a massive sunflower farm. It's like a tourist attraction. People come and take pictures and
Starting point is 01:01:15 stuff like that. The baseball fields where I grew up, I'm guessing that they built them where they are because A, it was already county land and B, it was cheap because it's right next to the sewage treatment plant. So if you hit a home where it goes into the shit ponds, it was disgusting and
Starting point is 01:01:36 the ballgame smelled bad if the wind blew the wrong way. Ah, that stinks. It really does. Alright, that's a wrap. We're doing our hangout right after this. Join the $50 Patreon soon. Do it now if you haven't already and you'll kick off. Not right now or you've just fucked up.
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