Painkiller Already - PKN 383

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

PKN 383. Hello, boys. Hey there. I don't know why it felt like a long weekend. Feels like it's been more than the normal five days. I had a good weekend. I went on a little trip, visited, visited some family, had a good time. Good for you. Did a few things. So you take the motorcycle. Fuck no, it's been I'm not driving five hours round trip in the what could be frigid cold. It's been fairly mild. It's still hot down there or so warm it one day it'll be like mild like you could wear like shorts and short sleeves and then i think um last night it dipped down super fucking cold no i did not take the fucking bike five hours on i-85 i guess i guess that is a bad idea the weather outside is so frightful right now it is freezing rain in this area which we don't get much of and

on one hand north carolina's drivers are not well conditioned to deal with this weather two it is just hard when there's thin ice on the ground even good winter drivers can struggle with it and it is it is a stay inside day bro it's awful dude kyle so you got your was your phone broken why did you get a new phone again did you i broke the screen a couple times you broke the screen okay so i took my iphone in for repairs and i had i was like envying you so first of all my dumb ass didn't anticipate how rough the parking lot experience would be at the mall like five days before christmas who could have seen that coming it's really not on me no one no one people don't know this sort

of thing uh so anyway it took forever to get my try i still got there five minutes early which was not a good thing it took here was my idea and say here's's my phone. You guys fix it. I'm going to walk around the mall. Like that was what I wanted. It took 25 minutes to check in 20. If you count that, I got there five minutes early. Maybe they shouldn't be docked for that, but 25,

about 15 minutes in, I'm doing the, as polite as I can, the sort of like, do you need me here for this? Like, you know, what I had in mind was giving you my phone and coming back to a fixed phone. And they're like, no, let's watch this

diagnostic progress bar together. Okay. So eventually, 25 minutes later, they tell me, I could fix your phone. So you've been in there for 50 minutes no no no i'm telling it appropriately i guess but uh uh 25 minutes after i got there they say it is 488 dollars it's your phone fuck off oh that wasn't me i was like i fine can i go now and they're like the thing is for 4555 you can have a new version of this phone that's why we're not fixing it it's cheaper to replace your phone than to buy another but we don't have coincidentally yeah only have it in stock you can run over to another mall and start this process over or we can have that other mall ship it here and you can come here on tuesday

and start this process over and i was like i'll just buy it online can i ask you i was gonna say like like i thought maybe you had a phone plan maybe i don't want to say anything but maybe you're still on um what's that company you did it for cisco maybe you're still on cisco's phone plan for all i knew i didn't want to get too nitty gritty. You're like, hi, oh, we don't pay for phone calls here. I'm still grandfathered in. I pay for everybody's phone calls. So like, so yeah,

the whole family, I, I'm willing to admit that, that sometimes I'm just completely out of the fucking loop on how to do things. Cause I get kidding to do so many things for me, but whenever I need a new phone, I just click a button online and they like someone in two days. That's dude. So I paid an extra $9 and they for me, but whenever I need a new phone, I just click a button online, and they sell them in two days.

Dude, so I paid an extra $9, and they got me my phone the next day. It was pretty pleasant, actually. Yeah, but I did upgrade my phone, so I was out $1,000 for this. Oh, you upgraded. Well, I had last year's phone, and I'm like, I guess if I'm going to get a new phone. Here's what I want, Woody. This year's. I want to turn you to the Android side.

I think it would upset so many Apple fanboys who are out there like, Woody understands us. Woody's our guy. I want to turn you to the dark side. I am generally on board with the basic presence. I suspect that I would find the Android to be 90% of what I need for 10% of the price. What do you use that's like Apple specific?

It is one paramotor app that tells you your altitude, and specifically, it helps me find my way home. You know what's funny? I might think you know your area, but if I were to take you, put you a mile in the sky and 15 miles from home, I really think it's a chance you'd be like i don't know i don't recognize oh i i bet if you switch to android and took the money that you were going to spend on iphones for the next three years you could have

your own app written but only for you yeah it would be yours. It could be personalized. You go to the app store, one download, blocked. No one else can have it. There are Android apps that are generally agreed to be like 80% as good as the best one that I could switch to. I just, it has all my history, all these flights. And yeah, so, and I know how to use it. When you're flying, you can be a little task saturated and you don't want to figure out how to use an app in flight no yeah that makes that makes tons of sense i get it for sure like that alone is worth staying with apple and spending the money just to keep you a

little safer in the air i think yeah but uh stats all in the same place i didn't think about that you want your backlog so you can compare hey me in july of 2019 finish this and your flight log 30 seconds longer i don't remember that time you flew 20 times in 10 days like it's still there like i like apps that track shit like that my watch does all that stuff it'll um you know all that workout stuff that's that's like saved in there it's cool when you get reminders um i get pictures like here's what here's a picture you took one year ago today and i'm like yeah that's awesome like, here's a picture you took one year ago today. And I'm like, yeah, that's awesome. That's a cool feature. I just got that new workout journal.

That's the one I linked you guys to. Yeah, that looks cool. It's like a journal made to be a print little notebook workout journal. Did you already buy it? I linked it when I ordered it. You've been using a regular notebook, right? That's what I use. Yeah, with just lines. And that way I can make it whatever i want and if i want if i fuck up i

can just flip a fucking page it's not like a calendar that would really suck because i get real anal about like if i have a i don't want a bunch of shit scribbled out i like to look to look nice because i'm looking at it every day so i think that thing's gonna be fun you're able to like put it i've got a stack of four legal pads. I've lost some of them because I just do it on legal pads. And you lay it down and they're all flipped that way. They don't even lay down flat. But I can just flip back and be like, 2017, January, what was I doing?

Oh, this. Look how much I've grown. Oh, my goodness. In 2018, I was doing this kind of lifting structure. What was I, an idiot? And then you keep going forward. Yeah, I'm about to start. I finally got back in touch with Derek.

So I would say I'm going to start the new protocol on January 1st. That feels fun. That feels good. I so want you to start again. I need shirtless Kyle. Oh, it's going to get scary. I can't wait. But I think I'll start on January 1st.

Hopefully I've got everything in place by then, but I'm already making sure I'm ready to kick things off again. It's going to be fun. It's going to be real fun. I've been disciplined on both my workouts and my diet for a while now. I'm starting to get some results. I put a picture on Twitter.

I don't know. I'm just ready for you guys to have the same level of like into it i'm ready for you get on the sauce get fucking get fucking jacks yeah get fucking jacks all around like but not don't tell anybody though you know that you're going on the sauce just mutate that's that's That's what makes it fun. You guys didn't hit your stride at 49 like I did next year. I like that. Progress pictures are fun,

but I kind of like just going from A to B out of nowhere. Everybody saw what I looked like shirtless in May, and now I would say by next October. I'm going to shoot for next Halloween so we can do a silly costume. Shirtless, sir. Yeah, maybe I'll get a big

fake stone to carry. No, you know what you should do? You're a good looking guy who's jacked. You need to be an ugly fat man. Do not play at all into the fact that you're yoked. Cover it up.

Be like Homer Simpson. Be a frumpy fat idiot. That's the funniest angle. You bust your ass all year to hide it and put a fake bald cap on. That's so funny. It is funny, but it doesn't, it's not a tribute.

No, but it's good for me. It's good for me. Well, we know who you could be next year. Yeah. I'm already fat. Well, it's not as ironic. I guess, you know, I'll lose weight, gain it's good for me. It's good for me. Well, we know what you could be next year. Yeah, I'm already fat. Well, it's not as ironic, I guess.

You know, I'll lose weight, gain it right back. I mean, you could jump on the same program as me since I'm starting in nine days and we could keep each other responsible and everything, or 10 days or something like that. We could track progress and everything. I'm doing a new diet this time. So I'm still going to do the vertical diet, but I'm'm gonna break it

up into seven or eight meals a day i'm gonna have like i'm gonna i ordered a bunch of those bowls that you put like if you were gonna make like a taco bowl to go like those little bowls like that yeah and i'm gonna i'm gonna make a full day's worth of food and split into seven bowls that i'm gonna eat on timer so and i have this idea that i can trigger protein synthesis seven or eight times a day you're gonna have taco bowls seven times a day. You're going to have taco bowls seven times a day. Well, they're not going to be taco bowls. They're going to be bowls of rice and meat and peppers. Oh.

And spinach. I'm loving my lose weight, slowly diet. I'm not suffering, really. That's consistency. You're just putting in the time and you're getting a sustainable result. I lost more than a pound a week earlier this year. It was like the springtime and last winter. And this time around, I'm actually not tracking it that closely, but I'm trending down just slower and without suffering.

I'm ready to jump all back in on the diet thing. I'll do January 1st with you, Kyle. I've been doing good recently. This past weekend, I was at my grandma's. All this stuff going on with Christmas. We had to go down there for it. And she made a bunch of walnut fudge. And I ate so much of that. And I ate it.

I did eat until I ate it all. You need to eat big at grandma's house. Down a half gallon of water just for the fuck of it. And get your starting weight. Yeah. Get your bloat on. Get my starting weight. I go into February. I lost 27 pounds.

I'm trying to get to a cool 300 before I start this. Put your best work boots on and get your starting weight. Do y'all know what Broba has done? Like Broba fat? Broba looks tremendous. Have you seen his before now yeah yeah yeah he showed us i think he went from 343 he it to 192 at six foot three and uh i was talking to him earlier it's funny i'm talking to him uh about how to do his water cut and i'm talking to another guy about

how to do his bulk diet so um both of them are on like opposite ends of the spectrum right now uh i i don't i think one's on i don't know if both are on trt yet but um roba is great roba looks fucking awesome and if he's doing this water cut he's gonna look fucking sick how long is a water cut i told him he could do it as long or as short as he wants like so if you load for more in advance, it makes the day of cutting easier and better, but it's real annoying to be drinking one and a half gallons to two gallons a day for three to four days leading up to it. Maybe you know. I was going to ask Lozon. Look, I'm

80% full of shit, so listeners don't put any weight in this, but I had thought I should take some birthday pictures. When I turn 49, be like, hey, this is me. And that takes a little bit of planning. I guess the idea being that I would, like, do a water cut. Like, I know Lozon, for example, starts drinking a lot and removing all salt from his diet days in advance. I just don't know how many days and how long. So what I did was I looked a lot online at bodybuilders because that was kind of,

it made sense because what they're trying to do is be peak visually for like an hour. And that's what I was trying to go through. So I didn't know if there'd be difference between a guy who's going for a visual look and aesthetic and a guy who's just going for straight up water loss. But I decided to go with the one that was more like what I was after. And, um, some of those guys were starting like five or six days in advance with the water loading. And I think the idea of that is your body's like, Oh shit, got plenty of water and no need to really hang on to it or anything. And then on that sixth or seventh day, you're like, ah, no water for you. Uh, and you're in your body just sweats it all out much more easy, much more easily and pisses it out and everything else. Um, you can use dandelion root tea. That's,

um, that'll help you shed some water and it's a nice, like healthy, soft, organic way to do it rather than using it called a diuretic. Yeah, it's a diuretic. Um, rather than using is it called a diuretic yeah it's a diuretic um rather than using some sort of harsher diuretic um i think aspirin is also a diuretic maybe i have that in my head for some reason maybe caffeine is too caffeine is too yeah a lot of good stuff is one difference i've heard in the cut is that bodybuilders often work hard during their cut like they'll wear a rubber sweatsuit and hit the treadmill and shit like that ufc fighters they need to perform the next day so they're doing stuff like hot bathtubs laying down with hot towels on them trying to get a sweat on without like treadmilling 13 miles or so yeah so i did both i did both and i found each to be like helpful in a different way um you were so

funny with how you did everything that whole thing. Like Derek would tell you, here are three tips you can do. Pick one of these, go whole hog. And you're like, all right, I'm going to do all three twice as hard as what you said. I'm going to flirt with death for these gains. One thing I do inspired by Kyle is the deltoid stuff. Kyle's like, i surf the rack i take i take it i don't know what your top weight is but mine might be 35 pounds i just hit it hit it hit it

until i can't lift it even once down to 30 down to 25 by the end of it i can't lift the fives they i'm grabbing the little girl weights and i yeah i like burning them the fuck out it's a muscle group that i i feel like i can't hurt like no matter how hard in the fucking pain i go and i've gone hard i've gone so hard um i'm sure you have too who knows yeah inspired by you i literally go to failure like seven times on that drop set painful very painful i'm making faces uh if i'm alone i'll like i'm not groaning like a fucking asshole but i'm i'm making noises of pain uh i'll do uh school uh bus drivers um i'll throw those in oh you don't know about these you'll love these oh fuck yeah fuck yeah make sure you're working the delts though you're holding dumbbells like that no no you get a whole plate you'll play don't grab unless you're

a big strong like trained, do not grab a 45 because you're going to be doing a lot of these. I thought you were talking about holding two 50s going like this. I was like, Kyle is much stronger than I thought he was. What I do is I grab three 50s and I juggle them.

No, not everyone likes it. My weight dumbbells go five to 65. And there are a few motions where 65 is not enough. Even for me. I wonder what I need. I was like Iron Masters are adjustable. I was thinking of an adjustable dumbbell set, but a lot of them stop at 80. And I might find myself what the exercises are.

So the two right now that i'm too strong in is the incline dumbbell press and chainsaws i don't know if others will get there okay that's because i was gonna say like you can use those like bullshit like dumbbell handles like i have like the plate loaded ones for chainsaws all day it doesn't matter i'm the same as the press you don't want to do that i have the same exact issue as you and i don't feel safe using as much weight as i can use in one arm without a spotter and i just think that that's going to be an area that we're going to suffer for because we work out alone um i don't know there is a good safe option for a 95 pound dumbbell incline press because that's what i want to do and it's just

not going to fucking happen safely so i wonder if i got up to 80 or something and then maybe switch to the bars like something i could do safer maybe like a smith machine with like well see that's not getting that you're talking about a bigger room and i think like the smith machine i mean i've got to go into that range of movement it's like bad for your shoulders right i i think that if you use it incorrectly it's but i don't fuck with a smith machine except for um i've tried to do decline bench on it because it seemed like the safe way to do decline bench alone um and i i felt like i could feel my lower pecs activating but i didn't fuck around with it too much it was just i'd come in i'll come in on my off day sometimes and just mess mess around with like weird shit and not go too hard just break a

sweat kyle and taylor do you know what your chainsaw dumbbell weight is so i haven't done one in a long time so i maxed it out i maxed it out to like 100 but then i felt like my form was poor or maybe um my time under tension was too short um and because i had intentionally like i want to get heavier and heavier in this lift and every time i felt like i could go heavier i did and i and i didn't know that if i just felt like no matter how i'm getting it up i'm working something and i'm doing it consistently you'd think. You'd think. It's getting up.

I'm moving a lot of weight around. Think of how tough my tendons are going to be with this bad form. It's not terrible form, but it's really more about how quickly I was doing it. I was really having to move it quickly to get the exercise done. And so then I dropped it all the way back down to 65 and went stupid slow. That 65 surprises me because you're stronger're stronger than me i am strong in that motion though like uh like you're stronger than me by a lot in general but in like the back pull up stuff the gap is probably closer yeah you've got great pull-up totals you sent today you did 12 12 16 right that's yeah that's tremendous and so obviously your back is very strong so

your chainsaws are going to be impressive and you're nice and light too like every pound you lose like i mean it's a big deal like every pound you're not having to pull up is a big deal when i'm pretty heavy i'm 196 ish like that's not i did some chin-ups to like get a pump going right before i took that uh my pictures i've never felt an easier pull-up because i'm weighing 100 i weighed 173 pounds all your organs are like shriveled like when he's in when he's in sandy's biodome see that's what i that's when i should have like wheeled in the video camera and put on like 50 or 60 pounds of plate and and done a done a couple of pull-ups i bet i could have done it with that much like like that depleted because i took like so much water off i remember i started doing the whole hour oh you guys have anything else you want to squeeze no we you're right no one cares we should stop

we're talking about tv shows like i know i finished the winter i think we're all on different tv shows though like you're on the the wheel of time uh i i had a friend recommend it to me highly he was like it's a great series you got to watch it i watched one episode today i got through most of the second episode okay what do you had you were like i'm saving it for the show i'd love for you to go first since you you hit it first i found the first episode to be a chore and it part of it might be that it was sold hot. They're like, dude, this is like game of Thrones.

You're going to love this, et cetera. And I'm like, all right, let's see what this is all about. It was a chore and you need to, by the way, I'm going to keep,

I've thought about this in advance, so I don't spoil it the way that I'm going to talk about it. They need you to understand the universe and the first episode has a lot of that in it so not only is it a chore but you have to give it your full attention you can't just sort of wait for episode two and and i have an example this girl goes through her day and it's a big day for her. There's a bit of a ceremony. She has a boyfriend. We are known.

We know that she's tight with this boyfriend and he says, how's your day? And she's like, you know, I can't tell you about it. Okay. They're trying to demonstrate to you how paramount the secrecy is around what happened during her day that she's not sharing it with the person on earth that she's closest to having said that what in the history of cinematic theater could be more boring than me not talking to you about what i did today you have to suffer through this bullshit dragged out dialogue to to get the like coded message of hey there's big shit going on and we can't talk about it okay so it's hard to get into yeah but but but is it going to be worth

getting into so at the very beginning oh interesting taylor at the very beginning of the second episode and i've thought about this in advance too, so I don't spoil it. There's a part that involves fire. And I was like, holy fuck. They're going hard in the paint with the intensity. At the start of the second episode, you have my attention.

And at the end of the first episode, they introduce you to the bad guys. And one thing I kind of liked it it took what three or four years for dragons that could hunt goats in game of thrones like get some goddamn cgi budget guys um here in at the end of the first episode, and it's partly to help you understand the universe, they demonstrate how combat works. And I was like, all right, I'm into it. Thank you. A little bit of sugar with all this fucking starch that we've had.

All right. I'll check it out. I started watching. I'm sorry to cut you off. You have a patience for shows that's better than average. Okay. It might fit you better than it did me. And Taylor didn't talk about this.

So I also have a patience for shows. Like I liked the slow burn of Midnight Mass. Like I really enjoy stuff like that. But the reason that I love the slow burn of midnight mass is because the dialogue was excellent the writing was excellent like it kept me engaged on on every word when they were sitting there in the aa meetings or in the church this show the writing is fucking clunky it's bad writing it is you as you're watching it you are aware you're watching two actors talk back and forth like it is it's it's genuinely the acting is it's straight up bad the the writing is bad uh it is from what i've seen so far as an

aggregate the ugliest cast of characters in the show i've ever seen in my entire life oh my god hard disagree that really friend dude i'm i'm looking at him like he is the him he's the only fuckable one i'm like so everyone in hollywood is good looking the second i saw this dude i was like he is standout fuckable amongst all the fuckable people coming out of i know the one guy you're talking about i would let him fuck me so that's an exception. But everybody else, it's grueling to get through. I remember there was there's a big action sequence at the end of the first episode, and it is terrible. Like, I loved when Woody said the word chore because it was a chore to get through that

action sequence. They combined the worst of Braveheart, which is janky cam very disorienting you can't tell what's going on you're getting shots of swords out of context and kilts and shit like that except it's like a lord of the rings he fights to even you know bring lord of the rings as a name into this is a bit sacrilegious but then you see like the bad guys these these trollex or troll orcs or whatever and they are bad they're not good looking creatures they're stupid and then like all of it culminates in you know i didn't spoil anything it's the first episode that shows the woman using her wizard her witch magic and it's not the kind of magic even in harry

potter you've heard me complain about harry potter where it's like it's just uh deus ex machina all the time where it's like oh no hermione we must unlock the gates oh unlock us we're here oh we got it and it's even worse than that she just she does that shit that you see in like marvel movies where instead of like a choreographed fight it's just someone looking like angry going like like charging their power and then doing wizard hands at people. And it's not enthralling. It's not interesting. I like when they jump in.

But hold on, wait. They set the anchor point of magical power so high as to make the stakes silly. Like they already established if 150 foes are around, if this one person is there, it's not even a vague threat. The only threat is that there won't be enough stuff around for you to cast and throw at them.

So what am I supposed to be afraid of? This group of people traipsing through the woods with this overpowered magician is going to come across an orc that's somehow more powerful. Unless they come across 3,000 of them, it's not going to happen. I remember the fallout of that battle very differently than you do. That was not a good day for our heroes. Also, I watched that fight

scene as not just an entertaining fight scene, but an intentional delivery of the rules of combat in this universe. That charge up, she literally needs a bodyguard to in this universe that charge up she literally needs a bodyguard to protect her during that charge up because it's like a minute and a half long she's got this dude who's a swordsman uh taking care of the nearby foes while she's charging up i'm like all right so that's the weakness that coincides with this op part um that's the balance

in there but then once she gets there, it's over. Did they even win that fight? They dominated. What were the death totals? Like at least 150 of the troll orcs or trollics? You've seen episode two. There's like 3,000 more troll orcs.

Well, they have to have more. They had to abandon their village and run for their lives. And Taylor's like, they really kicked ass. They did. The party kicked ass. The no-name villagers, they got fucked. Well, that was fun to see, too.

That you know, like how, for example, a healthy dude who's not afraid of combat would fare against our bad guys. And the answer is, they're not helpless, but a two-on-one would

help. You know, like that kind of thing. So, they're just teaching you about the rules of the universe. Carry on. There was one scene in the second episode where the main lady is talking to a group of guys in white cloaks in the middle of the woods when they they first meet and like the way she delivers the lines

is like if the director is like stop stop all right i know your character is doing this can you do it as though you as an actress that your dog and father died earlier today and you do it deader i guess i could try and do it with no emotion whatsoever like it's the acting is bad the writing is bad i i did not like this show i will not be double and i don't want to say because i know there are people out there who are huge fans of the wheel of time book series and i believe you when they say they're going to say it's a great series it's great totally believe you apparently a big complaint online when i looked at this today is a bunch of people from the book outraged that the show is like doing season eight game of thrones stuff in season one of wheel of time where they're

like but they just undercut the dragon they just got rid of this which means this entire third of the storyline can't unfold they undercut it and so it looks like it's not a very true representation of the tale one thing to the show's credit i think i'm just defending it to be devil's advocate against taylor but um when i saw the trailer the preview of it there is a that magical power that taylor referred to or referenced only the women can do that but it turns out that when you die you get reborn as something you don't keep your memory or anything, but these people come back and they might come back as guys. But if the guy has the power,

he makes it dirty. Now we don't know if he actually makes it dirty or she just kind of an asshole or what, what the story is that I haven't learned yet. But, um, if a guy has magic powers, he tends to keep it on the down low so that the whole world doesn't want

to murder him and when i saw that it was like take your fucking girl power and shove it up your ass but when i saw it in the show i'm like actually like okay never mind like you somehow you're doing this in a way that doesn't make me sensitive to the boy girl thing to the girls being powerful the girl thing i don't really give a fuck about it's magic i'm like i was at no point watching lord of the rings was i like oh this damned galadriel so powerful lord of the rings she's barely had magic what did they have good bread jesus christ galadriel was a very powerful very not for the magic dog would have been lost is she the one that baked the bread? I'm a little confused.

The magic turned the tide. No, she wasn't baking bread. No, she didn't bake the bread. She was married to her cuck husband, Celadon, in the middle of the forest. Remember that? That cuck husband comes down. Where's the magic in that? She's, you know, when

Frodo goes down to the sea and pool with her, and he's like, how about you take the ring? And she's like, I would not be a queen but a god! And freaks the fuck out and then she powerfully turns it away. The true move of power. I can't take this. The same reason that Gandalf turns away the ring, because if Gandalf or Galadriel or

someone that powerful took the ring, they would immediately be a huge threat to everyone around them. There's a really good YouTube channel that talks about what would happen, because Tolkien has spoken at times and written at times about what would happen if yeah yeah you got to find this youtube channel he he tells like a 90 minute story maybe not 90 minutes like i said he'll tell like a 20 minute story about everything that gandalf would have done if he had taken the ring at that moment from frodo like step by step how and it all makes sense he's like, well,

first he would have, you know, he'd have wanted to like take care of this forest and, and, and secure the borders of this and that. And like, he breaks it down like, like where Gandalf would have made these,

like these moves where it's like, well, I think I'll just kill this main character because this other guy would do, would be a better King. Like, like he turns a little bit evil toward the end and he does it for each of the characters. I think he does one for Galadriel,

one for Saruman, one for Sauron. You would like it, Taylor. He basically writes fan fiction, Lord of the Union. Do you guys remember? Oh, would you like me to recall a name for you, Taylor? I'd love to watch it. I'm sorry, Thomas.

I'm not good with names. I'll find it. I'll look around. No, that's interesting. I don't want to watch the episode of what happens if Sauron starts with the ring because it'd be like, the story ends. That's the whole fucking point.

He conquers the world in a million years of darkness. It'd be interesting to see Gandalf. The YouTube channel is called Nerd of the Rings. Nerd of the Rings. Nerd of the Rings. And I'll link you to the one about Gandalf. It's there.

Yeah, he has a good channel. It started getting recommended to me months ago and I watched it all. But it's good stuff. I'm sure he's making current content. I've been watching two different shows. I found it. That's awesome.

I finished the second season of The Witcher. I won't spoil anything. I'll just say that more monsters this season, which is always good. Lots and lots of monsters, like interesting, cool-looking monsters. And I can't think of his name. Like Josker, the bard, the guitar playing guy who sings the song. I like him. For some reason, between season one and season two, decided to get jacked.

Like for no reason at all. And so I guarantee you, like there's a part where he was, all right, yeah, I'll come back for season two. Yeah. 200,000 for the season. Sure. I know Cavill makes 12 million. 200,000 works. You will write me a bath scene

in. There's a scene where the Witcher, Geralt saves him, but he's filthy. He's like, I'm going to stop and take a bath in this river. He's just like, let me just take my clothes

off real slowly here. It's good to be out of prison he's he's so jacked that they went through the trouble of like rubbing dirt on him and the and like like drawing a six-pack on him so he looks even more jacked but like i remember him being like little in the first season and he's like real big it's kind of chubby i uh i don't shave my chest and belly hair but i like cut it back a little bit you know tamp it down a touch and i was wondering like what is the ab move do i leave hair in the valleys so that it's dark do i put hair on the peaks so that they're taller probably the simple answer is shave it bald

but i'm trying to look like a guy who is gifted with ideal hair and uh not a guy who shaves it does that make sense yeah yeah you could you could like take it down to like two millimeters or something and see how that looks but i think it's just gonna look like sparse stubble or something weird that's what mine would do so i just just take, when I took those pictures anyway, I just took it all off. For something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's like forever. Well, the problem with shaving it all off is you either commit to doing it every day or you live a life with stubble half the time. And that's, or use a trimmer. I need to put that up. This is what Woody needs to do.

I found the, I found the perfect stomach hair approach. This is going to needs to do. I found the perfect stomach hair approach. This is going to be my move. Oh, that is so good. That is so good. This guy's good. Alright, now I know how to do it. You need this guy to square you up. Zoom in, Zach.

He is all squared up. And he's even got the six-pack face on. Yeah, yeah yeah he's got like guitar face for some reason yeah that's what you need to do you just shave the middle of where abs would be allow the shading to do he's not even flexing his abs he doesn't know i'm watching is it hawkeye hawkeye is the guy's name. The Marvel character's name, right? Yeah.

It's pretty good. Again, I've thought about this in advance, so as not to spoil it. In the first episode, they do a flashback to the original Avengers movie, the one where there's all that city damage and Hulk smash. He one punches the Leviathan.

Anyway, there's a little girl. She's with her family. The penthouse apartment she's in is damaged. So now she has an open view to this fight. She sees Hawkeye, who saves her life, and gets inspired. So this is a regular girl and a little one who, by the way, her dad dies. This all happens in the opening minutes of the show. Fair.

By the way, her dad dies. This all happens in the opening minutes of the show. Fair. And she wants to protect her family and says, Mom, get me a bow and arrow. Flash forward to collegiate version of her. She is the best archer on the planet, except Hawkeye himself. And also she has some other skills.

She's a black belt, and she's pretty much a regular person superhero yeah so basically any of us would beat her up real easily and steal her bow but then we wouldn't be good with and me and toke and me and taylor would argue about which of us got to keep the fancy bow so well it doesn't even fit you we're meant to believe that this black belt perfect archer, etc. would beat up a couple guys at once. She does get into a fight with multiple opponents.

And it doesn't go that smoothly. But if there were only two, maybe she'd have won kind of thing. Anyway, I really like it. Hawkeye is reluctantly partnering with her. It's only six episodes long. They're each short of an hour. He is not in a position to reluctantly partnering with her it's only six episodes long they're each short of an hour he is not in a position to reluctantly partner with anyone he needs to take what he can get so that it's funny you say that he's more of a superhero than i realized i thought he was just a guy good with a bow right like that's what you think he can a quarter, snap it at a guy, and knock him out.

No, he can't. He can. And when they called him on it, he took a quarter, snapped it, turned it, ricocheted off the TV to the VCR, and turned them both off. Right? So, like, that is. Better hope no one has a remote. I get it's a weak superhero skill,

but being able to snap a quarter so well that you knock a guy out is like superhero. He can golf an 18, right? He will get 18 holes in one. So I'm not saying... And he's still a superhero? Instead of being the best golfer of all time? He lives on a farm.

Okay, what you just said is the most impressive thing i've ever heard about hawkeye genuinely i'm not i'm not being ironic or joking that is get this fucker get this fucker out of the front lines get him into golf that's incredible he could be the best quarterback of all time he golfed at 18 on his first try he would be the greatest quarterback of all time he could i guess be on his first try yeah he would be the greatest quarterback of all time he could i guess be a major league pitcher i mean i think um so to call him a superhero it's like look i get that he's kind of a lame superhero but i also think he's on the level of is it dead eye who did will smith play in the dc yeah something like that there's a couple of

them in the of those type characters who are just good at shooting shit. Bullseye is another one. Okay. So, anyway, I guess I thought he was just like a regular dude. He can win a fist fight against 15 people. Hmm. I think I beat up Jeremy Renner. You know what? I bet you can.

I got like nine years on him. Not if he's got a roll of quarters in his pocket. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You and all he's got a roll of quarters in his pocket. Take out you and all your friends with a roll of quarters. He's just doing that to homeless people. Yeah. So Zach used the word superhuman. Maybe that's a better word than superhero.

Because he's not Thor. I'm not trying to call him Thor. One thing that's fun about him is he doesn't seem to have superhuman endurance or strength. is he doesn't seem to have superhuman endurance or strength so after he beats up 15 people he's often hitting the ice packs and the stitches and the like you know he's he's exhausted most of the time he's not fighting but he rises to the occasion it seems like super endurance is like kind of the baseline of superheroes like because if he doesn't have super endurance there's zero percent chance he can take 15 regular guys like he if he's got regular dude endurance he's fucked well he wins with one punch and stuff like that but um if he doesn't have super in here endurance he couldn't take one punch from thor like if they were to go 1v1 first punch he takes he loses the fight

could he throw something into like's eye, though? No. Why not? Does Thor have super blink reflexes? What are Thor's eyes made out of? Is it vulnerable to quarters? Goo, like the rest of us. Seriously, I bet it's better goo. What if you beheaded Thor?

Could you kill him? Yeah. Is that the only way to get rid of him? No, you could just stab him real hard or beat him to death. You're making me less impressed. Really anything that would kill you, but just a lot harder. But just someone has to yell while they do it. I want to say you could round and pound Thor for days and he would just shake it off.

But you can't shoot him. He's invulnerable like bullets yeah i don't think a bullet's gonna do the trick man it's gotta be some kind of a magical spear some nonsense he like took the force of that star that one time um i've been watching a show called the great and i think it's a real good recommendation if anyone wants to watch a show with a girlfriend and she's she's tired of watching the fucking Walking Dead and sci-fi and zombies and shit. She'll like The Great and So Will You. It's about Catherine who goes to marry Peter of Russia, the emperor of Russia.

His father was Peter the Great. And it is sort of a historical comedy. And it's pretty fucking good. There's a lot of, like, winks at the camera where people, like, invent a phrase for the first time. Like, someone says, wow, and the other guy goes, what's that noise you just made? I don't know. Wow.

I don't know. That was great, you know? Like, they have sex. But Peter is just a complete villain and in a funny kind of way, just a horrific person, but played for comedy. And Catherine is trying to understand what her place is going to be as Empress of Russia, where all she's expected to do is like be a receptacle for his come. She shows up with a twig, an evergreen branch, and she says, may this evergreen be a symbol of our love.

May it last a thousand years or some shit like that he goes is she retarded you promised me that you had her checked right she he goes she brought me a twig and i wanted a tall one you send her bring me a tall one and then he goes i'm just kidding see we had her we had her and but but he's just she's like in your letter you told me how much you you know you cared for me and he's like i sent a letter and and one of his guys goes we whipped something up dude the emperor seems cool as shit he's a real scum so it's written in a style that like it's like the dialogue doesn't fit the day not at all uh at times it kind of does but for the most part not at all like i think when it

comes on it says um i it it it says something about the fact that very little of this is historically accurate um yeah i'm sure they want to make it but some but to some extent it is oh it's what's it called again the great it's on hulu is it more a drama or a comedy comedy okay like right away his like rasputin looking like orthodox russian creepy as fuck likes to flagellate himself priest is like i must check that your door has not been broken and she's like what and the chambermaid goes and he goes just lie back and she goes oh dude if they got rasputin this is definitely not historically accurate i'm about to embarrass myself but you can't check that right yeah i feel like you're fucking with me i'm not her maidenhood woody her maidenhood yes

her maidenhood you have to stick a couple of fingers in there and and sure you can't there is no physical sign that indicates virginity of a woman in fact that was written by a lying whore we'll be able to evaluate the virginity of a human being man or woman written by zelda the whore Written by Zelda Phoenix. This is a government website. Oh, there you go. Then we better trust it. Use Bing. The hymen is not a valuable nor

scientific sign of virginity. It is sufficiently elastic to be penetrated without breaking, but fragile to be lacerated by activities other than sexual interactions. Yeah, horseback riding. And yet, if it is intact, it would be at least some indication that... Well, they said that

it was flexible enough that you can fucking keep it in place. That would require a very small penis and some very, very soft sex, I would imagine. Sign me up. That's how I do it. Soft penis, soft sex i would imagine sign me up that's how i know soft soft penis soft sex taylor have you ever had sex with a virgin yes did she bleed yes same every time like it's it does seem like it would that article is written by zelda the whore the liar and uh the defender

of whores or something like that. Written by Catherine the Great. Yeah, probably so. But no, it's a really funny fucking show. Feminist lies aside. And it's this woman fighting for women's rights in Russia, but in a very funny kind of way. There's a lot of petty arguments at court between her and the other women. And,

and Russia is in the middle of a fucking war with Sweden and nobody even remembers why. Like at one point, Peter's like, when I started this war, we had goals because, because, you know,

my father had beaten the Swedes that time. And I wanted to do it myself. When I started this war against those beady-eyed fucks, we were deep in their lines. Now we're fighting in Russia. What's the problem here? The military advisor is so terrified of him. He doesn't want to say, because sir, you keep

using your Legos to tell us how to fight and it never works out. He'll come up with nonsense military strategy and just make them do it. Then his wife on the way in, the first time he ever meets her, she's she's like, I saw a lot of troops on the road. And the emperor's like, how'd they look? Wounded and scattered.

Oh, that's not good. Did we lose again? Quite badly. It's like it's like a sports franchise he's managing but not giving all his attention he has giving zero attention to it like like as his troops like leave to battle he's like fuck them fuck them good and then forgets all about it he's like all right i want some beer some liquor and some pussy for dessert let's go but the king of sweden's taking it super serious for sure he's probably like a legit normal

ruler but peter's just a complete scumbag who's just fucking every woman that's a very odd period in history to turn into a comedy i'm interested by that it's two seasons now um i'm like three quarters away through the first season and like i said i i i'm really enjoying it i think it's pretty fucking funny it took an episode to get into. No, I'll take that back. It took getting into an episode because the first scene, I was like, ooh, this looks like one of those period pieces with two young ladies in a swing set talking about love. I'm not going to like this, but right away one of them says to the other, who would marry you? Your family's kind of fucked, right? And she's like, well, it turns out

the emperor of Russia would marry marry me and when she gets there she thinks that like he has seen a diamond in a rough when the fact he's like i needed to pick someone that like no one gave a fuck about and your family you're you guys are fucked so it doesn't matter that i marry you you're i mean a german's a german's a German. Who cares? He just doesn't give a shit. Have you ever seen that show The Tudors? Yeah, it's mostly like porn for middle-aged women, right? I watched it and I thought

it was an interesting show. I thought it was good. The guy who plays the king is a very, very good actor. It's not meant to be funny, but it is funny. They've only got a handful of seasons to get the whole story told and king henry had what eight wives and so they're like firing through these wives like every season it's like the get to know them phase infatuation phase marriage fuck give me a daughter or don't give me a kid like they have 25 minutes to tie

that to them being beheaded and they do it every time very very interesting but if you read his wikipedia page if nothing else it's fascinating like like apparently like it's the sperm that determines the sex of the baby it's not the egg and so he just had you say genetically like you haven't known this for decades apparently he did not he he did not know this and you could have a thousand kids and have 992 daughters or something like that and he just got pissed every time and he would betray his wives, have them publicly executed, but it was. Near the end, when it gets to the Anne Boleyn

part of the series, which is near the end, there's maybe two and a half episodes between him professing his undying love to sitting there solemn in his study being like, have her killed. In public. So no one knows I have daughters you know what i do want so uh everyone knows the sperm guy gives a million of them uh the half women have boys whatever

if the egg splits and becomes twins who is responsible that? Is it the sperm that gave the, what is it called in blackjack when you split your hand? Splitting. Okay. I should have known. Is it the sperm that gave the splitting message? Is it the mom? Is it the egg? You think it's the egg? Because I know in my family, it seems to skip a generation and it's in the women because it uh i know in my family it runs uh it like seems to skip a generation and it's in the women because uh my grandmother was a twin my sister had twins um and and my grandmother's grandmother was a twin and i guess that's all the data we have but it seems pretty consistent

interesting okay so it's either the egg or the mom yeah there are no twins in my family at all really me apparently twins are becoming much more common i can't remember if it's one in 20 or one in 50 pregnancies now results in twins so i wonder what kind of twins and i have a theory if we're talking about fraternal twins then it can be by people having kids later in life and using fertility drugs and then certainly that would that would add to it the prevalence of artificial um 34 year old moms having three kids and because they're on are they on clomid is i think clomid might be what they use to get like eight eggs released or something per cycle i'm not they did like the octo octo mom thing where they just like

potential in there and they hope for the best and then it sometimes goes too well the octo mom thing might have been um IVF yeah in vitro fertilization and Zach said yeah it is they did they did they give a woman clomid and then she gets extra fertile, maybe drops a couple eggs, and you tend to get twins more often. That's risky business because, you know, eggs, limited supply. But it's not as risky if, like, maybe you wanted a family four and mom's 33. You know, it's like, shit, twins doesn't sound like bad news. Twins does seem like a pretty nice way to knock it out. You got to go through the nonsense the first couple years.

That would be very hard. But then like 18 comes around. It's like we're off the hook. We got a safety kid just in case. Like we're good to go. I got my code wrong last week. It's RAF-mojh did you did you not get any any i got a couple uh raf-mojh you got a couple people with typos

i said it was either i was it was either a or b and it i was right about that but i now i know which one it is it's raf raf RAF-MOGH. That is my code. My username is Moog. But I've been having a lot of fun playing poker. I've won consistently for maybe two weeks now. So I've been having a good time. Has Georgia played Alabama yet, or did that not happen? We will be playing Michigan on the 31st.

Alabama will be playing Cincinnati, I believe, either that day or maybe that weekend, somewhere close by, and then that'll determine who plays for the title and you know you would hope i would hope obviously that it's georgia alabama again or fuck let cincinnati stomp their asses that'd be nice and embarrassing and then give a cincinnati i'd be okay with that that's not gonna happen it might though it'd be cool. It couldn't. It could. It's football. It's a fucking game. Anything could happen. I watched a YouTube video about biggest blowouts of all time last night in sports.

Saw a hockey game 31 to nothing or some shit. Can you imagine? Jesus Christ. That could have been the NHL. NHL. I can't remember the teams, but it was 30. I watched the 30th goal get scored. And I just remember thinking

i wonder how hard the goaltender's trying but then i watched it again and he was trying so hard he was flailing at that puck that 30th puck he like his left leg was kicked out and like he was just he was reaching and bending and he was trying so hard j Jesus Christ, 31 to nothing. The NHL isn't sending players to the Olympics right now. And no one is happier about that than China because they have been trying to cobble together a team not to win, not to do anything, just to not get humiliated by like Finland or Russia or not Russia, China,

America, they'd get blown out there. They were just trying to assemble a team that could compete and they couldn't come up with enough Chinese players. And so they were just going to, there's a KHL team. KHL is the second best league in the world behind the NHL. It's based out of Russia. There's a team called the Kunlun red stars or red dragons something like that and it's in china it's the only khl franchise in china and kunlun and they were just gonna like take that team and have them compete but a bunch of those guys are russian and are like no fuck that i play for russia and so they're not gonna do it and. And so they were genuinely thinking, if China fields a team and they have to play against Team Canada, people were betting. And they're like, 50 to nothing.

And they're like, no, that might be a little low if Crosby and McDavid decide to try. It could be 60, 70, 75 to nothing. And they're like, well, do you really think they could score on the Chinese team twice a minute? And they're like, absolutely. The Canadian team will score when they decide to score. And they will do that to boost their stats because all of them are proud to play for Canada. It's a huge thing in Canada, bigger than the U.S., to play for your nation because it's way harder to make the Canadian team than the American team.

The third team, Canadian, would be a good game versus the first team, U.S. Oh, come on. U.S. wins sometimes. Okay, the U.S. wins sometimes. It's rare. It's rare that we get the upper edge because we're just not as good as Canada is at hockey. It's rare that we get the upper edge because we're just not as good as Canada is at hockey. But I wanted so hard for the NHL to go because I was going to watch all the games of Canada and the US and Sweden all versus China. Because that would have been sick to watch China just get humiliated on their own home stage.

But that won't happen now. They'll still lose because China doesn't know how to play hockey, but very disappointing. I won't watch a single Olympic game now. I don't give two fucks if it's not nhl to your players i don't care about the winter olympics period so the only reason i care is hockey i played beer league hockey right and it's fun and i play against other people who are my like athletic peers all a good time we entered a weekend tournament right it's kind of a bigger deal teams come from all over the place they tend to be a little better and uh we were below average but we belong there right maybe we're better than 40 of the teams instead of more than most

but there's one team i don't even know if they had a name other than like army Fort Bragg and they're all jacked. They're all young. They're all so fucking fit. It is a no check game. And at the very start of the game, one of their guys laid one of my teammates, the fuck out setting this,

setting the pace. And I'm just like, what? What? This is like a lion's den or something i don't even want to play with these kids how did the guy get laid out was he like playing the puck not expecting the hit at all it was um it was against the boards and he was looking down kind of like trying to dig it out with his skates and his stick and such and then the army guy just came and smushed him

and even one of his teammates was like bro like too much you know like he gets it unlike you children we all have mortgages on this team like chill the fuck out oh i i told you i uh i i was always a goalie from when I was maybe seven or eight years old all through. But they have something in high school. They have varsity and they have JV and then they have a C team. And the C team is for middle schoolers and ninth graders, ninth graders who are very bad. And at one point they were like, was in i was a freshman and i was our varsity goalie and everything and they were like hey there's a c team game tonight you're

always talking about how you want to play forward and play out do you want to play in the c team game and i was like so like i would get to play forward and i would get to like shoot the puck and hit and they're like yeah and i'm like and I get to hit too right and they're like yeah and I'm like and it's a hitting time right and and I'd never gotten to throw checks because you learn that at a higher age than when I became a goalie and so I was I was so excited going to the rink and I was like this is what forwards must feel like when they go to the rink like even if even if you fuck up, no one's going to be that mad. Like you just go there, you show up.

I put on all my equipment. It was like donated equipment from other people's like dads. Cause I was a pretty big ninth grader. And so, and so they put me in this outfit. Everybody else has their nice helmets with their like clean steel cages or some of them even have the face mask. I have a bad, I have a,

the most rusted out cage. like I'm a serial killer, and I get out there, and I don't do that well. I'm not playing against high competition. I'm a very good skater because I play goalie, and I'm doing okay. There's one time, the puck is behind the opponent's net. A couple of their guys and one of my guys is trying to dig it out, and I'm coming down the right wing, and I see just a couple of guys begging to get hit.

And I'm like, this is your moment. This is your moment. And so I definitely took more than three strides just because I'm so excited. And this kid is up to here on me maybe maybe up to my chin with his with my upper jaw area with his helmet on and i come in and i hit him so fucking hard so i i didn't realize like i would stumble back almost because of how hard i hit him hit that kid into the ground so hard apparently to everyone because i heard like the few people like the parents in the stands go like oh and and then i was like and i hit the guy and immediately the ref blows a whistle and i

like turned around my back's facing the boards now behind the net and a bunch of their players are like running at me and so i'm like oh oh, just trying to fend back and pushing them away. Four minutes for like it was just a two minute penalty for roughing. But it was such a bad roughing. They gave me four minutes, which is not allowed. What my favorite athletic moments. So at this point, I'm like a collegiate swimmer, but I'm like 18.

So I'm a young one and I'm in very good shape. I work out four hours a day and I'm just peak version of me. And, uh, like my coach's friend coached the like cherry blossom subdivision swim team. It's like the lowest level of swimming and they're like woody it turns out you're allowed to swim for us even though you don't live here and you can do six events if you got a six wins that would be really cool and i'm like yeah

friend of greg friend of mine like i'm in and uh i did get six wins it wasn't as easy as i thought as soon as i saw the other team i'm like that fucking subdivision did it too i know that guy he's a fucking real swimmer but uh it was neat like there was one relay where we were way we were like a lap behind like it wasn't and uh and i was able to make it up and get our team to win because i completely didn't belong on this team at all. Isn't that great? Oh, yes. Yeah, it's a good time.

Dominating. I had something like that. It was, I think I was 16 or 17, and we went up to Detroit, not for my high school team, for my real team, and we went up there to play in a tournament that was with a team that was like a tier, tier and a half higher than us. And they were like, we think you guys can play you can compete with these guys and like not not tooting my own horn but i was the best goalie in our league and that we were playing and i was very very good

and we go to this tournament and there was one game we lost three to nothing, but I stopped 69 out of 72 shots. 69 out of 72. I have never been more tired. Usually when a goalie turns around to get water, they're just killing time, so it takes longer to drop the puck so that their players are a little more rested. I was like, oh, oh, oh, just water, please.

And I won the best goalie of the tournament we got blown out in the tournament but like every single game it was like 50 saves on 53 shots 69 saves on 72 shots 58 saves on 59 shots oh it was that we were and we were good in our league but these guys were just a totally different beast it was it was horrible it was exhausting i've i've seen like there there was a guy he was a defenseman that i played and he was really good like i thought he was i i wondered like is this what someone who goes into the nhl looks like at 17 and then um he went and played not for penn state but for some reason he was at penn state playing with that level of players and apparently he didn't belong there that they just it was

another level so this guy who i thought was another level there's levels past that yeah yeah that's interesting with sports yeah so i guess that's a oh i was gonna add a quick question maybe you know something about this i was gonna get some over the ear headphones bluetooth uh just to wear in the gym and so i don't have to use these anymore um because i'm tired of the wire it gets caught on shit and you don't want those little little earbuds because they hurt my ear when you get sweaty they hurt my ear you. No matter what. You got little virgin ears? I got virgin ears. You can tell.

You can't tell if they're virgin ears. Until you stick two fingers in. Believe me, you can't get anything in there. I use little Q-tips. I was looking at these. These are the Sony WH-XB9109 extra bass noise-canceling headphones. I don't know. These are $150.

Is it for music only? Yep. Okay. I'm waiting for a link. There we go. Just get a home gym. Then you can have whatever you want playing on your TV and your speakers. He's not in the home gym master race. He will when he

moves. Maybe. I don't know i i really do like having like going to the gym though and having like all the there's x there's other stuff at the gym that i other than weights though yeah i mean you know yeah yeah but there's also like a tanning bed i like to get in there sometimes a tan that looks good to me kyle i'm not an expert though buying them yeah i was gonna say though the extra base wouldn't be good for the show you would find voices a little sure to comprehend

he's for this for sure yeah but for the gym it might be a good fit yep all right let's probably wrap then all right 383