Painkiller Already - PKN 384

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

PKN 384. Hey boys, how's it going? Good morning, Kyle. Good morning, everyone. Another... Let's circle back to morning again. What time is it where you are? Well, Kyle popped in and was fixing his hair. His bedhead. And informed us that you just got off yet another 20 hour session of Tarkov

yeah we've been grinding real hard just grinding real hard I've gotten kind of hooked again it's really fun this wipe is great they're doing twitch drops right now I think a bunch of people probably aware so if you watch your you know you link your Tarkov account to your twitch watch that Tarkov streamer

for a lot of fucking hours. And they did this thing so that when you earn a drop, a free item in Tarkov, you've got to claim it before the next one can start accruing. So you're going to want a little Chrome extension to handle that. And a laptop that doesn't run in the other room

all week. Do you actually get good stuff? Yeah. So different drops have different levels of goodness typically at the beginning of a wipe they kind of suck because a million rubles is a lot of money at the end of the right right when everyone has 75 million rubles they tend to be very valuable kyle did you when did you know about the drops when did you learn uh about an hour before they started or something like that okay i was i meant to tell you i knew

last night and i for there was some reason i didn't maybe i didn't think you were up or i forget but i was yeah yeah it's what it's um they start off giving you like tourniquets um but the hope my hope is that they're going to give me some high-end ammo because they took all the good stuff off the flea market you know like all the chad shit like all the level five and level six shit pretty much so it's it's it's rare so we went to labs last night and uh i don't know i killed six or seven raiders and got all their ammo so that's that's good stuff it's neat so in this game it's funny You work so hard to get past the beginning of the game, right? Where your resources are limited. But then once you're past that, like many games,

a lot of people think the fun has ended. I like the end game. You know, I enjoy it when dying doesn't hurt so much. But I would say I'm in the minority. Anyway, some of the changes they've made have caused that resource scarcity to last longer. That's what Kyle's talking about with ammo.

Crafting it is a big deal. I don't know how deep you are in your workbench. You can make BP, but that's about as good as it's going to get, I think, craftable. Like M61, M62. I don't think you can craft that. I'm talking about 955 and 856A. It used to be. craft that's i'm talking about 955 and 856a it used to oh i didn't oh maybe that's higher maybe that's later on i'm on like workbench 2 or something maybe i'll unlock

that so i i hope so um but but yeah ammo super scarce nobody's got good ammo uh nobody's got real good armor uh it's a lot of fun right now but it seemed like you could like skill your way out of being interested because it's pvp right like if you have an ak like the other guy you're competing against has also got an ak like he's accelerating with you right no well see you're competing against everyone so the guys who have spent every waking hour for the last couple months as well as the guy who picked it up today and uh and so the guy who's been there a few months with a huge advantage over you and it's not they did something with like servers where they put them oh no together oh we would not like that no we would not like that i'll quit the game i'll quit the

game immediately you love you you make it all 37s that are playing together fuck you i'll quit immediately right then i would quit i'm sorry it's interesting in that the fights are not fair they're not fair at all in call of duty if i have an m4 and you have a shotgun they're supposed to be balanced in some way and that you're a little better up close i'm a little bit tarkov is like fair this is war shit fuck it's not fair no no this guy has a fully auto m4 his reach coil skill has made every bullet hit the same goddamn hole and his ammo costs a small fortune you have a pistol that's not made anymore and jams a lot best of luck and and like welcome to tarkov good luck escaping yeah and and the best part is like he's gonna kill you and take that little bit of money you had in that pistol

that's not made anymore and he's gonna sell it like you would sell something at a at a fucking yard sale okay can i have this just take it just go can you uh can you steal people's organs in this game that'd be nice that would be that's that'd be that's a natural like the naked guys are now suddenly an even bigger target all right you harvest this you you harvest back that timmy i'm gonna keep a lookout it'd be fun you take out your surgical kit that you normally use to repair yourself and you start taking the guy's lungs uh the heart the precious heart you can have people join your clan whose only only service is to jump in naked run to your base be mutilated and then spawn back in to run

an infinite supply of hearts a lot of hearts. It would be fun. I'm trying to balance it in my head. It takes a really long time to harvest a heart, but if I do it to you, then you pay a fortune when you get back for the nurse to repair it. You've got to buy the heart back from me. Depending on how well you remove it,

it's more or less valuable. You know what's fun in Targoth? What if you took their kidneys? Now they have to either buy the kidneys back from you at an exorbitant rate or pay therapists for dialysis. Yeah. So in Tarkov, the Mosin-Nagant was a gun that was widely hated. There was a time, it's not as true anymore.

There was a time it was very inexpensive, but pretty effective, or at least it seemed like it. So what we do and other people do too, is we don't take your Mosin Nagant. It's not that expensive, and it takes a lot of room in my inventory. So you might not want to bring it back. My backpack might not be big enough. But I would take off your rear sight so that the next time you went in raid, you wouldn't know until you aim down sights, and you're like, the fuck?

Do you even want that sight, you just take it and then you like throw it and you just throw it in the bushes 100 yards away if you do that they'll get it back too but yeah i would just take the rear sight put it in my pocket so that when you get that gun and use it again it ruins your good time yeah you guys are mean-spirited. Welcome to Tarkov. It's a real mean-spirited game. Now they have VoIP, and VoIP is so fun. What does that mean? Last night I had one of my most fun experiences. Voice over IP, it means you can talk to each other. In proximity. So if you're close enough that my real-life

voice would get to you, that's how it sounds. It weakens and intensifies by distance. I was alone in the Shoreline Resort last night, and I was just pistol running but i've got some expensive loot on me and i can hear this guy a floor above me and so i start talking to him i'm like come down here i got a vase i got a vase and a golden cock come get this stuff and i do it's in my bag i'm daring him to come fight me um because i've got an impact grenade cocked back

like a football player but you don't know anything about this guy it doesn't matter i've got an impact grenade cocked back like this and my arm is trembling because i've been holding it for five minutes long before he got here i've been waiting and uh and i tell i even tell him what room i'm in he has the key to the adjoining room so i'm on the balcony aimed at the door and he comes around and he's in the other room fighting scvs. And he doesn't know it. And I'm going, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And I walk in and throw it at his feet and kill him. And it was beautiful. It was so funny.

We were talking while I was killing him. It was great. Those impact nades are crazy fun. Did you get any good stuff from him? No. Impact nades are new. I haven't tried them. But this wipe and the last two and a half wipes maybe,

I've enjoyed the game by watching via twitch so i'm kind of in touch with it but also watching isn't the same as playing yeah they're uh they are what they sound like they're impact grenades so like as soon as they touch anything they fucking pop and their radius must be tight or something they must have done something to make them not the next grenade launcher op they're um expensive i don't know where to get them outside of the christmas gift i'm sure there will be a way you can probably craft them you can make eight bogs for a pretty easy craft as well and bogs are strong as fuck but these things i've eaten a few of them like i think they have to be fairly close but the it seems like they'll fuck you up

from a medium distance like you're gonna get all messed up but it might not insta kill you from like medium distance and then but i'm throwing it at people's feet because like i'm throwing it at them and and usually it's hitting at their feet and stuff and it kills them instantly no it's been fun are you the highest ranked guy in your crew right now a couple other guys well i'm playing with larry a lot and larry's like a level 27 which is weeks worth of work i think i'm a level 17 or something 18 but i've been playing for three days so that's pretty good yeah and like cod 27 is a lot more than twice as much as 17 he might be five times farther along the progression yeah yeah for sure it's a ton of xp you have to larry's a one percenter type player like he's very good he's real fucking good it's a useful guy to have around. It's fun to play with Larry because if I die,

I'm like, Larry will get my gear out. Yeah. I died last night with like level 6 helmet, level 6 rig, fucking shooting M61 out of a SCAR. I'm carrying a million ruble kit and I die instantly shot in the fucking eyeballs and I'm like,

Larry's got this. Yeah, Larry. If i outlive larry it's because larry stood between danger and me that seems like a bad move because now it's on you to go get all larry's shit well sometimes we do that sometimes we don't. The good thing about Larry is he's rich! He don't give a fuck about that shit! When Larry dies, the next thing he says is, don't worry about my gear.

And I'm just like, what gear? So information is a really, really big thing in Escape from Tarkov. So let's say Larry goes into a 1v2 and now it's a 1v1, me and the other guy. But I've been left with an information advantage. That guy might come to loot Larry being unaware of me, or at least I know about that guy and that guy doesn't know about me.

And it can give me a leg up to finish what Larry started. Like that kind of thing happens a lot. And if that happens, I'll take Larry's gear. And four times out of five, like, oh, you can keep it. started like that kind of thing happens a lot and if that happens i'll take larry's gear and four times out of five like oh you can keep it yeah that was that stuff was just so so anyway it is like it is my best team gear yeah to you it is my best kit i i would do um like quests or something and i'd be like ah you know having a hard time killing these guys from 100 meters away or whatever and larry's like

try this gun it's the best gun i've ever had like not only does he know how to outfit it but he can afford to and you know he would give me stuff like i would i had saved builds like larry's favorite m4 if i ever wanted to get it again i could make it well it's good you guys are liking it. Or I guess Kyle's liking it. I like watching it, yeah. It's really fun to watch. I knew if I started playing it, again, I would get sucked in. But it works out well

because I'm about to start my new workout thing. And believe it or not, I need something like this when I'm working out. I was playing Rust last time during it. Yeah. Because it keeps me from being like, huh, a burger would really be good right now. You know, I could just be like, no, I'm going to grab three more hours of Tarkov and eat

this bowl of rice. This is going to be great. So you said you were going to hit it hard on January 1st. Is that still true? Or are you doing it now? Or where? No, I think I'm I think I'm gonna start January 1st. I mean, I'm working out every day.

It's a natural beginning time to kick it into gear. Yeah. But I'm going to start like adding the calories and everything on on Januaryuary 1st something like that adding the calories and um changing a few other things um i think i'm gonna mess with the workout program a little bit um i haven't filled out my new logbook yet i was waiting on my fancy uh pen to get here um and uh but but no pen yeah some peasant pen on yeah logbook no i wanted a fancy fancy pen for some peasant pen on a workout logbook no I wanted a fancy fancy pen what kind of pen did you get?

I got a fountain pen it's nothing crazy I didn't get a Mont Blanc or anything I got a nice little fountain pen but I like nice pens and I'm going to be writing this thing every day

and it's something I care about so I wanted something nice to write with I do like a nice pen you're right those horrible bics just the stick bics that only work a third of the time. Those are terrible.

Yeah, shake them and stuff. They don't write for the first five sentences or something. There's a hiss from my mic. Well, goddamn. I have one nice pen. This is it. And when I was into woodworking, it's handmade by a friend of mine. He just gave it to me. He's like, what I was thinking of you when I made this.working, it's handmade by a friend of mine.

He just gave it to me. He's like, what I was thinking of you when I made this. That's really neat. I've had it for probably 18 years or something. You replace the ink. It's my nicest pen. That's impressive. You've had it for how many years? 18 maybe. Something like that.

That's a good estimate. That's a huge run for a pen yeah like to make i take multiple i value it highly like i don't just stick it in my backpack and walk around with it or anything yeah yeah i gotta what is it purple heart it's an exotic wood from brazil it starts yeah there's some fucking tribal woodsman out there in the amazon crying still over where that tree fell he's had his pen stolen from him that pen you've got is bad medicine no i i was kind of um in the woodworking community i was like known as the purple heart guy would use it as highlights all the time which is why he chose it for me

uh that's a when you get into woodworking you get to like pick what guy you're gonna be did you pick it because you genuinely like loved the inlay look or were you like this is underused and i could i could use this in a way people haven't been when you first cut it well when you first cut it it's brown but then by tomorrow it turns into a really vibrant purple i wish it stayed that way forever. It doesn't. But that's the day I would photograph my stuff. I have a workbench that I made it.

And it's really good. It's like an heirloom type thing. It's so heavy. Taylor, I don't think you can move it. You're good at pushing shit. That's a big boy desk. It is a big boy work that uh the weight is valuable because when you plane it not only do you not want it to move obviously but you don't want it to fucking tremble you don't want it to you want that thing to be solid like

it's your concrete floor and um so it's a heavy bench and And then inside it, I built cabinetry. And in the cabinetry is heavy shit and it doesn't move. And anyway, it has Purple Heart highlights. And it's one of the things that made me the Purple Heart guy. How long were you into woodworking before you were confident enough to post on forums, like stuff you had done? Not very long. long i mean but like shucks not everything has to be like super great you know like and also pictures can be deceiving you know like let's say you make a drawer and this this is the part that slides in and out

the drawer itself and all four corners are hand-cut dovetails. Well, you take a picture of your best one. And you put it online and you say, this is representative of my work. That's the worst one. So it's like everything. You make a montage of your desk drawer and then you put it online. No, I would be cedar man.

I like the smell. Oh, cedar's a good choice. The ladies like a cedar man. I like the smell. Oh, cedar is a good choice. The ladies like a cedar man. He always smells nice. Mm hmm. The thing I didn't love about cedar is there's a lot of sapwood built into it. So like cedar is a really nice color, but it has these white like, I don't know, splotches or lines that go throughout it. And it's nice if that's what you're going for.

But usually I was going for something a little more intentional and not organic so so my dad made me a uh a bed once out of cedar and uh like the idea was to make it like one of those rustic ones that's all the edges are rounded off but um and uh like like the slats the part like and the headboard the parts that go like up and down the vertical post kind of debarked it and left the shape right yeah they're a little gnarled and wiggly they're all like they're smooth you couldn't like scratch like the most sensitive part of your body on there and they're you know they're they're um what do you call it when you put that shiny shit on wood there's a couple shiny shit but it's probably polyurethane yeah you know you put that stuff on there and it looks cool and you know the posts are the only thing that i noticed was and this is probably a product of him not being in any way a woodworker um i think he put the

polyurethane or whatever on there and then it like leaked sap like over the years kind of into it but if anything it kind of made it look more rustic i've still got that thing it looks cool it's just a headboard and a footboard we used to he he would get into those hobbies but seek no professional help and try to figure it out like a fucking caveman who found some like space age shit uh my father-in-law operated like that i'm sorry i thought there was a break no no you're good um he bought a wood lathe and uh which is a very dangerous thing just to work on if you're teaching yourself and i just remember like watching like watching it that thing is

Start working on something This table this is not stable enough. We're had to work on the stability first But eventually he was making like he would make bowls and stuff I think that's as complicated as we got with the lathe because like making oh and we made some Like table legs and stuff. I think some little little stuff like that it was fun to fuck around with 22 years ago but i still remember it i bought a crib for hope and it was a it was a store-bought crib but i it came in like 150 pieces like it was just a lot to assemble. And the way that I had tack a project like that,

as I go through the instructions, I read them all front to back. And then I read them again as I assembled them doing exactly what the instructions say. He would put that whole thing together with no consultation of the instructions at all. And he'd get it right. He had a knack for it.

He was a mechanical sort of guy. And even now. Jackie's pretty mechanical too. There have been times. When it's like honey. I have to put this serpentine belt. Back on the lawnmower. I've been looking at it for a little while now.

These are the rules of serpentine belts. You see how this is the V. It'll go into this kind of pulley. You see how this is the flat. It'll go around this kind of idle pulley and uh you know it's gonna go something like this and she figures it out and then it takes like man hands to do it and i put it on and she gives the brain and gives the brain i like that and uh but yeah she's inherited some of her father's mechanical skills nice nice i have very few mechanical skills i get so frustrated putting one of those ikea things together or uh i just ordered

a um i was talking about wanting a tv in my bathroom so i bought one of those tv trays like you can like put like a 40 inch tv on it yeah wheel it on into the room instead we talked about that concept that motherfucker I got this heavy box that was about the size of a pizza and I looked at it and I was like eventually this thing

is going to turn into it must be a Decepticon have you not put it together yet? I'm not sure I'm going to start it was only $150 I'm going gonna find somebody else to assemble this thing for me is it like one of those things like in in school they would like wheel the overhead projector in on no it's it's it's got four wheels and the tv mounts to it the same way

it would mount to a wall and it just allows you to like bring the tv from room to room and it's got like a little like shelf on the bottom for like you know some sort of entertainment center nonsense that i would not use. You would be in the bathtub looking off to the side where it stands on its own. Like an easel, almost. Exactly. You could get a little mount and just mount it direct above your tub.

But I'm moving. I don't want to drill more holes in the wall. I've already got a few to patch. You're moving soon, you think? Yeah, as soon as possible. A little bit or a lot? I'd rather not say. Roger, maybe privately.

We're going somewhere. Yeah, fairly soon, I think. I'm exploring all my options right now. Kitty is exploring all my options right now while I play Tarkov. While you play Tarkov. She is diligently looking into options right now while I play Tarkov. While you play Tarkov. She is diligently looking into this housing situation while I play Tarkov. I'm going to need a good stash for the new house

so it makes sense that we work together. I kind of like your relationship with her. There's a symbiotic... She has certain skill sets. I'm not going to say too much, but she has certain skill sets that make up for your deficiencies. Yeah, doing my taxes because i don't know how to write numbers on paper and uh and anything like administrative like that that i'm just like any i'm bad at adulting

sometimes and uh and she's great that's on the other hand if she needs someone to go into like a covid zone and come out with a prescription there you are or kyle designated driver every time whipping her all around wherever she has to be i i'm a i'm a chauffeur and uh and uh medical station and all that shit i have to go into this covid ridden hospital like once or twice a month and get her drugs because her pharmacy only uh like works out of there. I fucking double mask up. They don't send it to a normal CVS or something?

Some of the stuff she uses is controlled or something, so they won't mail it. I don't know the situation. Apparently, this is as smooth as it gets. Well, that's annoying as shit. Especially in the middle of the COVID stuff when it was really extreme. Going in there, it was really extreme like going in there

it was not fun because they used to really accost you where have you been who have you seen like measuring you three or four different ways but now I think I can share this Colin had a skin condition starts with an S

I bet Taylor's gonna know yeah but I know Woody Colin had a skin condition. Starts with an S. I bet Taylor's going to know. Psoriasis? Yeah. Starts with a P. But I know Woody. Wait, psoriasis starts with a P? Yeah. How's the treatment going? Well done, gentlemen. Well done.

I'm impressed with what you're doing. We've been using the totally wrong medication. Psoriasis with an S? So Colin had psoriasis and we tried a couple things but nothing was working but what did work was light therapy so we had to drive him to the hospital to stand in this like vertically oriented tanning bed for a few seconds like his treatment's like 30 seconds long hour and a half worth of driving but he just tanning beds for a few seconds. It was a real pain in the ass. Like it's helped him a ton. But I would go into the hospital situation that Kyle talks about with the hospital parking and the accosting and the where have you been?

What have you done? Let's take your temperature a couple of times a week. It was trouble. Now we have a home based unit. Jackie burnt the boy. Too much power or too long? I have a question. This is interesting. Is it a tanning bed

or is it some sort of medical instrument? It's a medical instrument that we got through health insurance. It's vertically oriented. But it looks a lot like a tanning bed might. It opens like this and you sort of do that and then you turn around and then you get your bag um you wear uh glasses yeah kind of big ones and they're

they're um like extra uv protection right yeah so uh uh the poor kid she mean, she can it was like 90 seconds, so it's not like, you know. Holy shit. These are powerful lights. Are you shitting me? Oh, no, no. Are you sure? Are you sure this isn't some sort of kitchen device? I think it was supposed to be 90 seconds

and it went wrong and he got like 110. Fuck. And he got like 110. Fuck. And he looked like a raccoon, and he was very unhappy with it. It's the only thing he wants to talk about. Like a severe sunburn, like everywhere? Well, there was no blistering or anything like that. But it was... But he's got really fair skin, too.

He does. He's a redhead. And yeah, it was... That's too powerful of a machine. he's got really fair skin too he does he's a redhead and yeah it's too powerful of a machine they need to turn it down a little bit so that you have more than a 20 second window no you need that to take out the psoriasis

you don't even know what psoriasis with an S is that's the thing trust me there's no pussy in that psoriasis trust me you're lucky you came up with a sunburn psoriasis with an s deadly stuff get the fuck out of that then i'm like what disease is he talking about

that's hilarious your doctor realizes that your son has psoriasis with a p he's gonna take that microwave away that's so that's crazy so like 90 seconds a day is the treatment for it or not not even a day no you need to like a gap day in between 90 seconds this is too powerful. Yeah. Now, he's a fair-skinned person, so maybe if you're black or Italian or something like that, you're in there for two minutes. What's the difference?

I don't know. Italian people can be black. I was just trying to say olive skin. I was making fun of the fact that the Moors went in there. Into Sicily Hey! And now we have Anthony Cumia

So yeah, Anthony Cumia could probably do 90 seconds Even 110 On his head So, did you say Anthony Cumia? For some reason I had Who's the 11 day secretary of communication? Scaramucci Oh, Scaramucci That's the 11-day secretary of communication? Scaramucci. Oh, Scaramucci.

That's a very Italian name. My head went right to him. Anyway, yeah. So, you know, Jackie Burnt, the boy. He is just now. Probably today is the first day where if you looked at him, you wouldn't see the raccoon. You wouldn't think he just saw a nuclear blast.

Can you be in the room with it on? Can you watch him in there? As long as you don't look directly at him. I actually wasn't there for the home version. For the hospital version of it, no. Well, they put a curtain to separate the

tanning bed from the nurse administer, is it? I'm picturing that, that curtain we use in welding. It's, it's, it's that really dark shit that, that blocks UV light.

It is essentially a blackout curtain of some sort. Yeah, no, that's interesting. I'd like to know more about that. I, I, I get the tanning bed,

uh, I don't know, once a month or once every two weeks or something like that. It's free with my gym and it keeps her being super pasty all over. But, uh, If I go a long time and then jump in, it's like I got to be real careful how long I'm in there. I think if it's been a long time

and it's my first trip back, I'll put on the lotion and everything and I'll be in there for nine minutes, I think. I usually do. That's not that long. Eight, nine minutes because I hate getting burned. I hate getting burned so much. It's bad for you. You're not supposed to do that a lot of time through life with the cancer it's not good to do it on the show if you get burned everyone will roast you yeah see what i did there

huh i didn't think that was very clever i don't know if you guys caught that um yeah i i uh i like it though i think it's good for um it's got to for... There's vitamin D in that tanning bed, I choose to believe. Sounds right. I think there is. I'm interrupting, but also it's proven to be against the seasonal effect disorder, SAD.

Okay. I don't know what it's really called, but we call it our SAD light or happy light. But we have literally a light to shine on you in those bad winter days that's supposed to cheer you up. I'm mostly like, you think I like this? This is so unpleasant. He just stared directly. Have you ever seen that meme?

He's like, take it, bitch. Have you ever seen the meme of the kid, the little fat Mexican kid who's blinding myself with a lamp for no reason? And he's holding a lamp right and it's unbelievably bright. That's what I'm picturing. You should see if you can fight off the sads this season with Colin's machine.

Just like 15, 20 seconds and see if like, well, I guess you already take vitamin D supplements, but it couldn't hurt. If the listeners want to, you can Google image search sad light and you'll get a bunch of examples comparable to what we have. I mean, or you could like head on down like Fort Lauderdale or something for a week. That'd brighten your winter right up.

Yeah. I talked to you guys already about the Mexican vacation flying trip. And I think that's likely. I'm being coy about the dates and stuff because, well, this is the internet. But I think that's likely. I'm being coy about the dates and stuff because this is the internet. I think that's going to happen. On a related note, I got my vaccine booster today and my flu shot same day. I'm sure that'll go fine. It's funny. I don't know if it's really psychosomatic but

you get the booster shot and the flu shot. And then you wait like 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and I go outside. I'm like, man, it's windy. Man, the sky. Look at the sky. Wait, is this the kind of observation you would normally make? Or are you a bit fucked up right now? Where are we?

So then I go in the truck. I sit down and I turn my truck on. And then I sort of program the way home. And I put my seatbelt on. And then I turn my truck on. Then I sort of program the way home and I put my seatbelt on and then I turn my truck off. This is not a mistake you normally make, Woody. How fucked up are you right now? Are you okay?

What else did they give you? Just a flu shot and a... You just got fucked up off the flu shot? I think I'm just an idiot. I think you're going to be okay. But let me know if you have any explosive periods or explosive diarrhea, any exploding. I need to know about your cycle this month.

Woody, if anything changes, it's very important. So, uh, but then I got home and since then I've just been totally normal. Me when I got the vaccines, I'll call it eight,

10, 10 months ago, I think, um, I was exhausted. And even the first one, because I wasn't prepared for it, dangerously driving tired. The second one, I was on top of my game, well-rested, caffeinated, and just regular tired. Today, that didn't really happen. Yeah, you seem fine.

Yeah, I'm literally unaffected so far. You still get a good workout in? Before. Nice. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I'm literally unaffected so far. You still get a good workout in? Before. Nice. Yeah, that's a smart move. You wouldn't want to risk coming home and not being able to get it in. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I could go on about push day for the rest of the show if you want.

I will say real quickly, my peak was kind of in the spring. And then all summer long, it was like comeback, vacation, comeback, injury, comeback, vacation, etc. My lifts are now either at new personal records or in striking distance of my old personal records. Like you'd have a hard time deciding whether I'm better now or stronger now or the spring. I mean, you make up that lost ground you've already made so much faster than like new ground yes which is always good if you didn't get that effect i feel like way more people would just say fuck it to getting back into lifting it's like if you restart back at ground zero yeah i'd be like this is awful no i'm gonna get into magic more get fatter sometimes i bounce back slowly on purpose to avoid injury because i'm old but uh like it's faster than the first time that's for sure yeah

we don't have to stay on fitness i am going to once january 1st starts and i'm counting on you to be on my team we need to bully kyle into joining the home gym master race get him out of that out of that that poor person gym where he's waiting oh i go at 2 a.m so i don't have to wait in line guess what i go anytime no line yeah no one controls me if there's a line change it i just grab that girl or child by the scruff of the neck and toss them out i just grabbed my wife and i said this is taylor time i grab you the same to my dogs no they don't they never want to be around in the gym like just the sound of metal clanking

like to them it must be like the torturous yeah the dogs hate that. No, my wife hates that. She gets frightened of that. Sometimes I put the vacuum cleaner there just to ward her off. Man, that is such a feeling of power to walk past a couple of small dogs holding an off vacuum cleaner. They know the power you wield. They know what you can do at the drop of a hat. Dogs are really good at learning novel things. And if I sneeze really loud or something, maybe when I first got them, they would be like,

what the fuck? What? But now I can have a really loud sneeze while they're sleeping, and they're fine. The vacuum is one thing. They cannot get over that hump. And I know it's not just them. Many dogs I've had, a story often told. Do great Danes get afraid of the vacuum cleaner or is that not on their radar?

A little bit. Maybe they just don't like the noise more so than like I've seen videos on Reddit, for example, where the dog jumps the fence, the taller fence, the taller fence. And then there's a vacuum cleaner he could easily just walk next to. And they're like, I'm not fucking with that. So the Danes aren't like that that but they might exit the room if you're vacuuming yeah i mean my friends actually i only had one friend with a great dane growing up and it was a very chill dog it was like seven which is very old for them and it was like although for an old dog it had no problem getting up on the couch because it was just a normal size

step for it like all these other dogs the same way that a yellow lab could go up one step yeah yeah i seeing the poops from those great danes is enough to make me think no though those are i don't it's a human level of shit the p is the way bigger you're right it is a human level of shit it didn't occur to me that that's abnormal in a while yeah but uh if they pee inside like the idea that you're gonna clean that with paper towels is adorable yeah what you need is a sacrificial human towel and that's what it takes to get like a great day and pee up and then you take that towel put it in the outside trash and kiss it goodbye yeah my dogs like they don't really have accidents anymore unless it's out of spite like if they're mad and they like just this last week went down

shit in my my pool room area and like i went down there and i was like what a bunch of shit and it was like a bunch by a 12 pound dog teddydies standard and then i'd like i thought about your great danes and i was like that's like a human level of shit and then i thought like what amount of damage could i do shit all over the floor and that's what a great dane would be like great what meal would you fatty diet your damage with like would you do you want a lot of fruit oh almonds lots of almonds would huge amounts of nuts and seeds something to to at least make it easy to pick up so it's not just soupy shit it can be voluminous it would be it would like when you get those shits where it's like you feel like

you're about to lift off sometimes yeah i like the big poops and you're like oh i got skittier just now yeah those are good we're like you have such a big poop you're like i think i'm good for three four days yeah you gotta eat more fiber oh fiber though can be it like almonds are filled with i don't eat a lot of seeds anymore but there was a time before I counted calories properly that I thought almonds were kind of a healthy snack so just have maybe two bowls

and see that's where they get you because almonds are a healthy snack but you're supposed to have seven of them two bowls of almonds is borderline enough to fuel you for an entire day. That's enough food for a day almost. If you were a caveman and that was your day's worth of scavenging, it would be a tremendous day.

It wouldn't be bad at all. Yeah, I eat ten a day. I eat ten a day. I don't typically have them. Do you even get the Smokehouse Blue Diamond ones, or are you getting no seasoning on there? I usually get barbecue or something like that

as long as I'm not having any kind of an issue with salt. It doesn't matter what's on there as long as it's not candy. Obviously they make chocolate covered almonds and stuff like that. Those Smokehouse almonds are good. I'm sure you've had those before. Yeah, for sure.

They're fantastic. I eat them on motorcycle trips because they're hot weather tolerant. You don't want to have a Mars bar in your backpack on a motorcycle trip. But mostly, dude, so I've cut a lot of stuff out of my diet and it hasn't been a big sacrifice.

When I move from sugar to stevia in my coffee, when I move from half and halfvia in my coffee, man, when I moved from half and half to like almond cream or whatever it is, I'm on now. My coffee's fantastic. I know it was really not much of a sacrifice at all. My blood pressure was high and it was an incorrect reading. Like I was moving and whatever, but it said like one 60 and I'm like,

I don't know how incorrect it was, but it wasn't 120 to start with. So, uh, um, and that was talking and they gave me a thermometer at the same time. And it was the whole thing. So, uh, uh, I've cut out all the salt as much salt as you can in my diet. I mean, I still eat pickles at lunch. There's some salt in there, but, but by and large, I'm not salting anything it has been like the most uh difficult thing to give up so far like all these foods were so much better with salt on them yeah there have been a lot of substitute i

made where it's like dude this is 80 is good and it's 20 is bad if that makes sense and it's not it's a really good deal salt and there's a different kind of salt so do you know what salt is is it sodium chloride maybe yeah so i think there's potassium chloride perhaps or sodium something there's a there's a substitute that you can use instead of salt and i'm like i found it and the people online are saying like dude you can't tell the difference i switched to this it's fantastic and i'm like motherfucker i did i've outsmarted everybody and and not only does this stuff not raise your blood pressure but the potassium in it it literally lowers it like this this is like health food the first time i tried it i had to eat something else afterwards chaser it was so fucking horrible is it like is it like light salt or

something like that i've used that i don't like that that shit is that's the same mix the sodium chloride and the potassium chloride or whatever it tastes nothing like salt right and it doesn't go away like it's worse than that taste it is worse than nothing i have a salt shaker i i really need to empty it because now it's colin is colin loves bean boozled have you ever heard of bean boozled no no okay so imagine two identical looking jelly beans say a silver one and the flavor is either going to be coconut or spoiled milk. You don't know until you eat it and get bean boozled or a treat. That is what this salt shaker is like.

You might get salt or you might get this potassium. You might get bean boozled, bitch. That's so funny. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about because that's what kyle recommended me he's like get light salt it's not the same but it's you know it'll get the job done no it makes it's almost a weird chemically taste which is like but this is just potassium why should it taste chemically is that the light salt yeah i've never gotten that kind this is called uh benson's table tasty is it what he said the sodium and the potassium mix gotten that kind. This is called Benson's Table Tasty.

Is it what he said? The sodium and the potassium mix? It's a unique blend of 13 different vegetables, herbs, and spices. Pat, can you share this? That seems like much more of a seasoning than what... Carrot, red bell pepper pepper it tastes like salt though well i should try kyle's advice is usually money i buy his syrup i eat his ketchup he's he i don't

think i think he whatever how many times he told me to get something he's like six for six this is what i bought this salt substitute it's so bad it looks like we used a shock of pool this is the worst this pool tastes like shit this don't want this this is really good for like if you're seasoning mashed potatoes or something like that like a starch or uh or even a soup or chili or something. It tastes salty, but not like salt because there's so many vegetables, powders mixed in. It's more

like a seasoning that is salty than salt. Is it from Amazon? Yeah, I'm sure it is. Can you say what it's called slowly? Benson's. B-E-N-S-O-N-S. Table Tasty. Oh. Benson's Table Tasty. I think it comes in-S-O-N-S. Table Tasty. Benson's Table Tasty. I think it comes in a three-pack.

We bought that this summer. Maybe you didn't like it. No. I need to try it again. I need to see what's up. For me, it's better in recipes, like adding it as you cook, than it is to be like, oh, now my food's here. Let me dash a little of top i was salting dumb shit like i have a i have a large

amount of fruit like cantaloupe and strawberries and i'm just fucking salting that it's even better i would eat chicken i eat chicken i see i'm not alone and some people think that's crazy um chicken breast right you imagine it still being still being bone i'd like take the fork take it off salt that layer take another bite salt that layer and you are you're a liberal with the salt application i really was not anymore but you can see how my blood pressure went up oh yeah well i mean it's like salt the most baseline of seasoning like you kind of need it on everything to make it good like you eat something without salt, you'll believe with your whole

heart that you like cashews. And then you have unsalted cashews and you're like, no, I liked salt the whole time. This was just the salt delivery method. That's a great example. Yeah. Sometimes french fries. Now, I like french

fries, I guess. I probably wouldn't like unsalted one, but it's like, oh, it turns out I just really enjoy ketchup shovels. Yeah, yeah. Which is sugar. I need my sugar with my fried salt stick. No wonder it's delicious. Sometimes when I like fake things, it's a trail mix for me. I've said this before. delicious sometimes when i like fake things it's a trail mix for me i've said this before it's nuts which are fats combined with like m&ms which are sugars and combined with uh salt so it's

just salt fat and sugar mixed together no wonder it's delicious yeah it's donuts too donuts are just fried fat with sugar on top yeah it sounds awful but you know it's great yeah right yeah it's carbs boiled in fat sprinkled with sugar have you ever made donuts kyle oh yeah yeah i i so i'm not a chef everyone knows i'm not even close to that but i've read that donuts don't get the credit they deserve is a tricky thing to create um the simple way to do it is to use biscuits to buy biscuit dough and use those. Like canned biscuits, you can use those and just punch a hole in the middle and fry that thing

and it makes a really good donut. But I used to make like those Chinese donuts. They're like chewy with like the sugar sprinkled on top. The donut holes looking ones? Yeah, they're like big chewy donut holes. And those are just butter flour sugar and that's it sounds like you've got some hacks but like the raspberry donut that you might get it oh yeah apparently that's uh like people don't give it the credit as a ramsey level dish but

it's a trick i'm told i didn't know that maybe i wouldn't think so but maybe i guess if it's a trickle-on, I'm told. I didn't know that. Maybe. I wouldn't think so, but maybe. I guess if it's... There's baked donuts and fried donuts, right? Baked donuts, you say? Who's eating them? Cake donuts. All cake donuts are baked, right? Oh, cake. Okay. Well, then it's more cake. I like cake donuts. Especially when there's seasonal

pumpkin cake donuts or the blueberry cake donuts, all that shit. When I shop for donuts, and this is really rare, but when I shop for donuts, it'll be a glazed donut. That's what I just get because I know it's the right one. But every so often, I'm exposed to a different donut, and it's like, what happened?

Wait a minute. Maple bacon donuts are good? I would never have got that for myself. My favorite donut. You remember my really wealthy friend got that for myself. My favorite donut. You remember my really wealthy friend got that amazing beach house? It came with 24 maple

bacon donuts that they'd refresh for them. It's just part of the deal. That's where I tried them. No, we won't include the appliances, but we've got a counter offer. 24 donuts. You handle the closing costs. Have've got a counter offer. 24 donuts. No, no, no. You handle the closing costs.

Have you had a donut today? This was at Airbnb, I think. Oh, that is a good deal. So when I rent an Airbnb, it's like, is the bathroom next to the room, or do I have to walk down the hall?

Ooh, free mousetraps! That's a good one. Alright, alright. the bathroom next to the room or do I have to walk down the hall? Free mouse traps. Taylor, take care. When they get an Airbnb, it comes with a donut guy. It's a whole other level. You know how you have that check-in list when you go to an Airbnb?

Do this, do that. Throw the towels in the tub or whatever. What if it said, be sure to check all traps and reload if necessary. Don't use the good cheese. Use the government cheese.

Yeah, that's good. I stayed in a wacky one a while back that was a little scary. There's this Airbnb in Atlanta that's like a dungeon, I guess. It's got

dungeon-style furniture, and I went and stayed there. You have to stay for two nights. The idea is like, ah, this will be fun. I'll tie my girlfriend up and spank her. You get there, and it's like, fuck, I hope nobody comes in here and ties me up and spanks me. This place is scary. You hope they don't?

I hope they don't. I hope they don't come and murder me. It seemed... The photographs weren't great. The photographs were better than the place. They were Tinder-level photographs. They look wonderful online. You get there and you're like wait what

i i don't know how they took those photographs they must have borrowed some lenses from nasa or something like that room because uh i i don't think i spent the night i think i yeah that we didn't even spend the night i left we like went there had some fun all right well that was not money well spent but let's leave. Is there any recourse for you? Nope, that's... Nah, it's fine. Wow, look at this place Zach found.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's not the same place you were. It's almost certainly the same place. Yeah, that's it. What is that post for? That's a St. Andrew's cross. Oh, wait, which post? The that's a saint andrews cross oh wait which post the one that looks like uh like it's vertical and skinny uh see those things that are jutting out from it those are various uh seats that you can place in any area you want so you can make someone uncomfortably

straddle a pad there um so okay so like some of them are wooden and and like some of them even like a wedge that goes between your legs and then some are like this padded thing that is still kind of uncomfortable to sit on. Not my style. I use it as a coat rack. Yeah, it doesn't look comfortable. Have you ever heard of a one bar prison? No.

I have just learned of the one bar prison. And to be clear, this is not something I've done or tried in real life and i would be honest if i had basically zach you can't show images of the maybe a one bar prison without the girl on it but it is a one bar that goes up and inserts into her vagina a good bit call it six or eight inches and then uh there might be handcuffs by her ankle so that she can't lift herself higher and then you watch her try to escape and with

basically this okay okay with basically this middle dildo see this one doesn't look attached to the ground the one i've seen her vertically oriented and you like stand in a room and uh she looks like she's laying down but anyway yeah there's this thing she stands there and with the with it extending into her oh she's hanging with it extending into her vagina then she it's helpless to get out someone has to free her from this one bar prison by lowering the dildo thing or you gotta be like a good jumper no because your feet are uh your ankles are handcuffed as well so you can't jump okay and it like i saw someone mentioned it on a subreddit so i was like all right for science i guess i'll go see what this is yeah i'm looking at it now and uh the girl is like trying to escape from this thing she's trying to work left and right.

Eventually, she's like, well, with one bar, this is a prison, and it works only on girls. Well, I guess guys have butts. She's like, you got me. You're gonna have to let me go. I'm out of ideas. She was adorably trapped

by her vagina. Nice. As all women are. Well, as long as this is used benevolently. Yeah. Some of these women are looking scared. I'm like, this could be, I'm going to mess up the prison name. Abu Grabe?

How close am i yeah yeah yeah abu grabe level torture and um uh islamic people were especially i guess no one would like this but a lot of people are especially not you know like uh i'm looking for prude but a better way of saying it you know they really don't like being sexually tortured at all whereas i might kind of be into it yeah i don't think they like being naked and like having the women see them naked and stuff stuff like that yeah there's especially sensitive to that kind of that style of torture so they would super hate the one bar prison but i like how like some of these photos are taken in like a dirty dungeon like dungeon. It's clearly for the aesthetic, like a warehouse with disgusting cover bricks. You just do one-bar prison Google image search?

Is that what I'm looking at? I'm on the Reddit. Oh, there's a subreddit devoted to it. Yeah. OBP. No, it's one-bar prison spelled out. Did you just go top all time? I just went top all time.

And you'll see some women who are looking like they asked to leave a while ago. But I guess that's the fun, right? Actually, the top one of all time is waving kind of happy. She also has a ball gag in. Not little caprices. Slink work. So you have to go to the second highest all time. But yeah, yeah.

This is definitely it. You get it. Alright. Well, I have some online shopping. I have some online shopping to do. Yeah. I've seen it before and like you said, always mount it to the floor.

So they're standing there like well shit as a sex toy like facilitator maybe i lack creativity because i kind of like what do you i guess there's a daddy dom whatever like kind of dynamic you could create with it but mostly i'm like well her favorite part is occupied that's how she's being trapped and uh you know the whole point is almost to not touch her i get like i don't know it's not my cup of tea at it i don't think but then again he's coming every now and beat her up a little call her her some names. Kinks are a little like food. You don't know if they're for you until you try them. You might be surprised.

Sometimes you really figure out it's not for you. I don't like this bar in my ass. Try it. I'll try anything thrice. That's funny. I actually haven't heard of it on guys but i can imagine it i'm sure i'm sure kyle i'm looking at some more of the stuff on this airbnb you linked what is that i see the one thing that is just uh it's just an ob chair in like what looks like a oh yeah yeah that was like

a side uh side room what is this black bench with the four pads and the one leaning pad that looks like someone made it? It looked like someone made it in person as well. Of course, someone makes everything. She's bent over with her head lower than her butt. Kind of like a doggy style position. And then there's rings so that if she's wearing cups, you can chain those down so she can't move off of that. There's almost too much to do in this

for me. Is there a TV? It was so bad. The TV was? It was also on one of those trays. I should have taken it. It was very small. If this place had like two cool things i'd be like cool let's do them both but it has nine cool things and you're like all right up next comes the saint andrews cross

i'll give you a minute and a half on that and then we're off to this obgyn table no i i didn't i didn't use all the equipment. I think we just used one of the benches or something. I made peace with the fact I'd waste a little bit of money and then went to her house and watched some TV. Did you make her sit on that wooden wedge? No, of course not. That looks torturous. Who the hell is doing that?

Neither one of us are going to enjoy that. No, that looks awful. It's on the coat rack at the very... It's the coat rack rack thing there's one thing that's just like sitting on like a wedge like and it looks sharp it's like you know that like torture implement they did in the middle ages where they like put you on a spike in your anus and they like tied fucking ram's heads to your ankles or whatever the fuck they did until you impaled yourself yeah the magey cabbage or whatever yeah the you know how history is.

It's that natural wood finish thing. Yeah, yeah. You basically have to sit on a wedge between your legs. Oh, I see it now. Wow, I don't see the appeal of that. It's about discomfort. It looks genuinely dangerous. Oh.

Yeah. I'm not into that sort of thing. The spanking can be fun. And just basic teasing denial. Like, you know, call them names and stuff. Let them know that you hate them. And that you could end them right here. There's nothing they can do about it.

That's my favorite. There's room for both ways. None of that, though, for real. The, like, I don't know. The words like slut and whore and stuff there's room for that and there's also room for praise you know not every day is the same also kyle this is the worst kitchen in america i know that picture has nothing to do with with the the sexual dominatrix shit but there's no way you could do your your chef's magic in this horrible kitchen that kitchen was so awful i challenge you to make a donut in that kitchen.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. You barely eat a donut in that kitchen. There's no space in there. No, it was, I wasn't too happy with my stay. But it was the only place I liked it. They dressed up the toilet with tentacles. I don't know how I feel about that.

They put that shit everywhere. There's like some sort of Day of the Dead motif that they mix in. While at the same time trying to sell you old photographs of kinky stuff as artwork. I was like, wait a minute. Is that a rusty old picture of a

straitjacket? I got real close and there was a price tag on it. I lifted it up and looked and it said, rusty picture of those old-timey price tags. I lifted it up and looked and it said, Rusty picture of straight jacket. $60. $150. They were all that. It was like Kennedy wearing it.

The place was full of BDSM artwork like that. And it was all like $100. Did you pick up any stuff? Those are collector's items. No, I didn't pick up any stuff. The mirrors and candles, I'm actually for it. I'm there for that part. The candles are electric.

Oh, I don't care for that. I understand the safety thing, but it doesn't really seem like safety is a top priority with that torture wedge. Yeah, no, that's disappointing to hear. Candles were electric. They didn't all work. Mirrors are cool. The place didn't smell, but it was kind of a weird...

It's one of those weird buildings where you go up one flight of stairs and you've got a neighbor right below you and a neighbor right across the hall. I could hear them, so I know they could hear me, and I was being loud. Those poor people. They must be used to it. They must be used to it because They must be used to it because

that place has like 100 reviews or something crazy like that. Everybody's like, yeah, railed my girlfriend at your place. It was awesome. But that poor downstairs neighbor because that bench is sitting on the floor, obviously, and every time you fuck somebody's in the bench, the bench is just like grunting

across the floor as it slides around the room. It's loud up there. The bed was so shaky and that middle post under the bed that's supposed to be the stabilizer post, every time he moves it goes, and punches the floor.

That's the most disappointing part of all this. I mean, a bad bed is a bad bed, but a bad bed in this place, bed is essentially part of the whole thing. The bed was all metal, though, and it had the hookups for chains and stuff. So if you have cufflinks on, you could cuff those to the sides.

It doesn't need replacement. It just needs repair. It was terribly cheap. Everything in there is terribly, terribly cheap. My stuff is all... They had nothing that was even everything there is very very cheap and not even mid-grade kyle planted the seed of me making sex furniture and i was like i could do this and i would do it right right my shit would be properly joined and i would not use fucking walmart softwoods that was supposed to

be destined for a playground with arsenic in it or whatever the fuck they're using yeah i i like because when i when i eyed up the wood there's some like four by fours in the construction of some of this stuff and i'm like what the fuck i know that wasn't milled and joined by the by the woodworker who did i wish i'd taken photographs of what it looks like from the bottom because it was so... I'm not a carpenter, but I've put roofs on home additions and built sheds. I know how to do some basic shit.

It was awful. I could have done a better job on all of that shit. You said you put the girl on it and fucked her doggy style. I think I'm looking at that piece of furniture. Dude, it looks like 4x4 pine and every joint is just a butt joint with bolts. This is horseshit.

Not even that. It's those little L-shaped brackets. They've got those drilled in on the bottom. Because I flipped it upside down. Because I was thinking this feels like shit. It's all wiggly and wobbly. I should just make my own. Because they're like $500 each, $600 each or something. The St. Andrew's crosses are as well like that's kind of what like the

going price for that stuff is is five or six hundred dollars so that's the big cross that like uh ramsay's on right yeah and it's like two um i guess two by sixes i think those are two by sixes like crossed and then joined in the back and then just the base was awful it was screwed to the floor and then connected with cables to the And then just the base was awful. It was screwed to the floor and then connected with cables to the wall on this mounting bracket so it couldn't fall over and kill someone. But it was all cheap, shitty stuff.

I was a bit disappointed, but it was a fun trip. I think we agreed that we're glad we did it, but would not go back or recommend it. You have very high quality preferences for all this stuff because you're right. All the other reviews are like,

oh, this stuff's great. It's awesome. Maybe those are curated a bit i don't know how you know reviews work on air they just don't know what they're talking about like like they've never done i don't know they've never seen like what what the stuff's supposed to look like or they have no like class i don't know they're not i'm not being hoity and hoity here like it was bad you were surrounded by a sex aficionado and a woodworker. And we have higher standards for this sort of thing. Of course. Especially the woodworking side.

I feel like it's not. Look at that bullshit joint. Although butt joints sound sexier than it is. Alright, we should probably call it a wrap. Yes, got our hangout. Hey boys, new year, new month. Sign up for the Patreon.

Make sure you go do that. Get your full month of access. It's going to be fun. I'm playing a lot of this awful game that's addictive in there. All night we're streaming it. If you want to come hang out with us, do it. PKN 384.