Painkiller Already - PKN 385

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

pkn 385 you bumped into a fan on tarkov kyle yeah a couple of so far um one of them was uh this guy that i guess i think i purchased something from him on the flea market in game and he recognized my name and he messaged me and uh he said he likes the show a lot but then another guy like i was yelling at in game and he went kyle and i got really scared i was like yeah oh could you could you stop shooting at me you only hit me once but if could you stop yeah did he hit you first we had been i don't know we had shot each i felt like i'd shot him more than one time but i was all shot the fuck up so i was happy to stop shooting and uh and make peace with that guy um it's been fun on charge entry into the clan of some kind no no we we used to call it we demoralize them so that they

know they're under you we used to call our gaming group the clan but we had to we had to stop that that i ran into a fan story today as well. Stop it. Let me lay this out. Jail Sonnen has described himself this way and applies to me too. When an animal, a pet, can communicate what they need, what they're looking for, they get it. He delivers it.

And that's how I am too. Dogs, whatever. If that dog needs to go out, needs water, whatever, I'm that guy. I'm that dog's friend. And I am 48 years old. Thus far, I have never met a cat that likes me. I've met cats that hate me. A cat either won't come close to me at all, or as soon as I attempt to give it any kind of affection, it hurts me. It'll draw blood from me. I have just like it's hissing at you or it's just calling too aggressively. You know, like I bring my hand out to pet it or something. All cats sucked until today. Today, I'm walking around the neighborhood.

It's rest day and I take Colin out and we go for a walk. calling out and we go for a walk and uh like a half a block away this fucking chunky boy this overweight cat starts waddling to me successful hunter yes this guy thrives at hunting i can tell that and he's just bouncing back and forth waddling he's got a big valentine shape like a thing dangling from its collar it It's clearly somebody's cat. And I'm like, what's your angle? What's your angle? What does this cat have in store for me when I get there? It's a junkyard cat.

But I'm a sucker. I'm a sucker for pets. And as I get closer to it, he communicates to me. he he communicates to me and uh he he like he meows at me and he arches his back like he wants to be pet so i do it and he likes it i pet this cat i'm fucking excited about i've never met a cat that liked me before half a century on this earth thus far no cats have ever liked me until today it's not by ender or anything he wasn't with us it was colin and i going for a walk and and i'm rubbing the cat i'm rubbing the cat he's all soft and stuff he's got like grass on him or something i'm cleaning him up and uh the cat likes me

minutes go by i just continue to pet this cat i stop for a second and he like he looks at me like what the fuck bro you're You're not done? Okay. If you're a good communicator, I'm a good listener. I'm in for it. Colin is barking at me. Dad, let's go. Dad, time to go. Team Colin on this one.

You found a kitten. You can't go. This has never happened before. Half a century on this earth i'm losing some sort of feline virginity here colin i'm having a moment and you're cock blocking me with this chonky cat so i pet him a little longer i hope you literally said that to your son colin i am petting this chonky cat. Get back in the house. This is now a sort of dad walk.

You get back home, Jack. He's like, how'd the park go, Colin? He's like, dad said I cock blocked him. And he walks to his room and closes the door. It was great. I pet the heck out of this cat. I think he got enough and we parted ways. And there we are, two ships passing in the night. But my feline virginity has been stolen.

I'm surprised you didn't pick that chonky boy up, take him home, give him a cool name. He had a collar that implied he... Perfect. Oh. Yeah, that is easy to steal. Perfect. That means the cat is house trained. It knows how to use the litter box.

You're like one accessory down. I mean, probably has his shots. You got to make sure they're not chipped though. They come for those chipped animals. That's a strong point. It was a great cat. He was like marble colored and a successful hunter. He used to radiate it.

It's fun. He waddled half a block to me. Oh. I never had too much luck with cats either. They're really temperamental. I think that's the thing. I read that's the thing. I read this study the other day, and I saw it in two things. Some journal must have done a thing because people are making YouTube videos about it. Apparently, people never domesticated cats.

Our cats were not domesticated by us. Cats just decided they would hang with us. They literally said, they're like, at no point did we change the cat as we did with the dog. The wolf makes a terrible pet. Even today, no one would have a 100% wolf as a pet. You wouldn't do it. The cat, however, has not changed a bit. It is the same

fucking animal that was back. We didn't change the cat at all. He just said, hey, he decided we were cool enough to hang out with, and we were like, it cool too and there's like 1500 types of dog and there's like this is a cat with hair this is a cat with without hair this is a chilly cat and this is a warm this is a chilly cat no warm cat this cat makes you warm this cat keeps himself warm of the cat world.

Yeah. I've never really liked cats. It's a couple things, right? They feel fucking weird in your hands. They're all like a weasel or something. They're all wiggly and stuff. I don't even like touching them. They do bite. All animals piss and shit,

but cat piss just smells really bad and there's a lot of animals that have smelly piss i've always thought that the fox would be a cool ass pet but the more i read about fox piss the less i'm interested yeah yeah apparently they just piss everywhere you can never like fix that i watched that youtube i watched that youtube channel uh fix that i don't know you can never fix it by one they live to be like eight and you just have there's only one way to fix that and uh but i watched that youtube channel where the the girl has like a bunch of fucking foxes live with living with her like and like one of them's like a celebrity fox he's finnegan the fox and she's like oh finnegan he's just like i spray it like

disgusting piss all over the wall it's like small it might be a gerbil or a hamster or something i get them all mixed up they don't pee they just like crystalline excrete like urine crystal i bet that feels good i did not know this about hamsters or can you pick there's one of them that survives in a desert environment and it doesn't really just spill water like that you i remember i like this is probably true imagine if you had to wring out crystals from your penis oh god that's horrible it's kidney stones every day everyone's so dehydrated because they don't want to deal with it you shake it at the end it goes tink tink as those last big chunks come out that would be

horrific what i remember in like those pets, there's gerbil, hamster, and isn't there another one? Guinea pig. There's guinea pig too. That's not what I'm thinking of though. Like things that don't shed? Or like perfect animals that don't? Like rodents. Little ones. Little rodents that you might keep. Oh, just get a stuffed animal. A gerbil?

Is a gerbil the same thing as a hamster? No, they're different somehow. I think gerbils jump. Maybe I made that up. There is a type of gerbil that same thing as a hamster? No, they're different somehow. I think gerbils jump. Maybe I made that up. There is a type of gerbil that jumps in Australia, though. I know that for a fact. I've watched that documentary. The jumping gerbil.

Well, no, it wasn't the focus of the whole documentary. It was one of the things on the journey to knowing more about nature. It's one of those, like, and the types of life are remarkable. He gets three seconds of screen are remarkable and like like he gets three seconds of screen time but you're like and that's pretty cool he's dodging a snake attack i need to remember that's a real documentary i need to remember it i've watched this i've watched so many of those i really dig them i can just sit there and learn about animals for three

four fucking hours i fall asleep learning about whales even oh what are the aquarium yesterday it was badass i hadn't been in yeah you sent some photos yeah um i went to the atlanta aquarium um according to the internet it's the best aquarium in the world i'd been years ago but i was so fucking high i had no memory of it i swear like like we last time you went you were so high the last time the last time yeah like like so you're squared up for the next, pretty good. I still have no idea what that place looks like. No, I stumbled in there like five, six years ago after like pre-gaming in the car in the parking garage. And I literally remember getting fucked up

before you go to the aquarium. Dude, it's fucking music and fish and dark. It's great. All I remember is a big blue wall. I swear to God, that's all I have a memory of. That was the tank, Kyle. That was the fish tank, it turned out. You're more blown away by the size of the tank than the creatures within.

The tank is like 1.2 million gallons, one of them was. So I went back yesterday and had a great time. They got fucking beluga whales and like three or four kinds of sharks. Is that what that malnourished thing was you sent video of that's how they look when they're upside down swimming they've got like a pelvis or something yeah they've got like like well you got to keep in mind it used to walk on land and then it became a marine mammal so they've got those vestigial like hips like people hips oh

yeah i nearly forgot that okay i i totally used to know it. For some reason, I never thought about animals evolving back into the sea. Yeah, that's what marine mammals did. I think that's what all marine mammals did, right? I don't know. I don't know if they got to mammal and they were... I'm 100% sure they started on land. They didn't start on land. That's not true.

I'm 100% sure of what he said. The mammals started... You know what I fucking mean. The dolphins sucked because I went to an early... They didn't do the whole thing. I wasn't there at a time when they were going to do the thing where you go into the stadium and they do all the tricks

and stuff. They have that there apparently. I just got to see three dolphins in a tank. They're fucking huge. I always underestimate how big those animals are. It's cool to see stuff in real life. That's how they're great people. Every time I've seen an animal from TV that I thought of as a medium-sized animal, it turned out to be gigantic.

Giraffes are humongous. A real buffalo, like an American bison, its head is like the size of a Volkswagen's hood. Those things are cool. The blue whale, I read, is the biggest animal to have ever existed on the planet ever.

It's with us right now. If you're like me, you think all the cool shit existed back in the something mosaic era or something. But blue whales, right here and now, biggest ever. They're 100 feet long. And to compare that to the whale shark I saw yesterday that was 17 feet long. And it was mind-boggling to see a 17-foot long whale shark.

And I wish I had it on camera because like they're swimming in the tank and like you got to sit there for the tank's so big that a whale shark swims away from you and it's a little bit before he comes back so like there's they were at least two whale sharks in there and two giant mantas um the giant mantas were swimming on either side of the whale shark like like flanking him. It was awesome. It was so cool. And then you'd see like out of nowhere in the beluga tank, there's fucking otters in there.

And the otters are like swimming around fucking with the belugas. And I was like, oh, those poor belugas. They're not agile enough. Those mean little otters. And all of a sudden the beluga goes, and like almost bites the fucking otter's foot off and the otter just like fuck and like runs away i don't know if they're playing or not but he tried to bite the otter for sure it would have been playing until the foot was in his closed mouth and it

yeah then there's a dead otter in the tank can you imagine like your kids with you and like they you watch an otter slowly dissipate it's a red mist in front of you i grew up in ocean city new jersey and it didn't really have any wildlife or at least that's what i originally thought you know it's all citified if that's a word so you know there's no deer or anything like there's just maybe some cardinals but i kind of forgot the ocean we had some pretty legit wildlife there'd be sperm whales swimming out off the coast dolphins and porpoises. And they jump around and they do flips and shit. Like you can really see that.

We had stingrays and some big ones. I don't know if they're manta rays. I don't really know my rays that well. But, you know, ones that were four or five feet wide, like serious cool shit. So, yeah, like I grew up around some of these things. These giant mantas so i've never seen a manta before you'd never gone to like like the pet the manta ray exhibit at the zoo or those are stingrays yeah they're small stingray yeah i was talking about the huge giant ones yeah

black and white so i don't want you to touch it i think it was silver on the bottom i saw it from the bottom okay uh and one of them fucking, it wasn't a giant one. I would say from like, I'll call them wings from wingtip to wingtip was probably about like a little less than me, like maybe six feet, like five and a half,

six feet. And it had stuck. It's like belly to the, one of the bubble glass. They love the glass. I think the glass feels good to them. Like, like I doubt there's anything like glass in nature so there's like wiggly on it like

so there's like it's a mantis sex toy yeah so it's just like sort of rub yourself on it it's smooth and slippery so we're walking down this dark hallway and all of a sudden he's just like stuck to the fucking glass and there's like underside little mouth and it looks like there's eyes but I don't think those are his fucking eyes. But the giant mantas were so goddamn big. They were wider than the whale shark was. They were fucking huge. I really enjoyed it. It's definitely

worth going. I think it was only $40 a ticket. That's not too bad. How long were you able to spend there? How much content did they have? I think I did it all, but I did go early. I'm told there were alligators that I missed. I didn't see the alligators, but I think I was there for maybe three hours total. Yeah, that's good value.

I didn't eat or fall into the trap of the merchandise or anything. You didn't want a $5 Coke? I don't even know how much those pizzas and chicken fingers everyone was eating what uh cost but i i was i was not interested and it's like those chicken i know because i've gotten chicken fingers at an aquarium before it's just the same stuff you get at uh costco on like free sample day yeah it's like it's like a big bag of tyson chicken fingers that you that's frozen or something you just i don't know it's they're not good didn't look good so i didn't pay for any of that shit but i did have a good fucking time

i'm trying to think what else i saw like they've got a lot of stuff that they have penguins um what's the biggest uh it's the biggest animal they can keep in captivity like blue whales will die killer whales tend to get really pissy about it, but they don't die, right? Yeah, I think certain sharks, they can't do. So they had hammerheads. They had, I think, black-tipped reef sharks. I think great white. I don't think you can keep great whites in captivity. Captivity is a spectrum too, right?

Yeah. Because there's like water that you filtered and tank that you try to recreate the ocean. And then there's, you you know we just put kind of fucking bars on the actual ocean and keep them by the beach that would be nice yeah so that way they can see that they can see what they don't need to be there their shark will come up to the gates i was wondering i was wondering if i was gonna feel bad for any of the animals. That's why I don't go to the zoos, because I feel bad for like 70% of them. I feel like 30% of them are just like, we got it made.

Nothing's eaten me in a long time. The reptiles, the insects, the amphibians, they're happy as a clam to be there. I think the small mammals, the prey animals, I would think whether they like it or not, they got it good. If you're a gazelle, you might live a better life on a reserve. You might go to herbivores in general. In my area, they have bison.

There's a lot of space for those bison. I don't know that they're suffering. They're all good. That's cattle. It might make you nervous to have the tigers right next door but yeah but uh there's fucking tigers right there yeah they have a polar bear at the st louis zoo and sometimes they'll make it come out in summer and that that is the hottest the hottest animal i've ever seen in my life and i'm like this is this is criminal. You shouldn't send him back to Santa or something. I like Siberian huskies. Growing up, my neighbor raised them.

And I guess they were show dogs. She used to walk them all the time. But the dog would drag, I'm looking for, a couple of tires. So it would just walk a dog like normal. But there's like three automobile tires in tow as this thing would exercise. And I guess for breeding and showing and whatever. I always thought it was really cool. But a Siberian Husky in North Carolina, I'm not saying I'll never do it. But if I do, it's selfish.

I have a friend who has one. And like, he'll come over to like a barbecue or something during the summer. And he'll bring his husky. And it's like feels like every 12 to 15 minutes he's on water patrol for that dog. Like constant refilling of ice water, constantly like spritzing him or something, like just trying to keep him from overheating. And it's like, I'll just get a dog that can exist here. Yeah, that's good. You know, like UGA's mascot, its name's Ugga.

Is it Ugga? Yeah, Ugga. It's cute. here yeah that's okay you know like uga's uh mascot its name's ugga and uh is it again yeah and uh there's a big thing here where like people want descendants of ugga if you can get like a puppy for first of all we're on like ugga eight just to be clear like this don't don't think this is an old dog he's spry for an american bulldog but but it's hot as fuck in the summer. He's pretty healthy for a 64-year-old bulldog. He's a fucking puppy. But they have a refrigerated doghouse for him on the field because he's got to be there. And I don't know. They get him out every now and then.

He like woofs at the camera and stuff. And somebody pretends like they can barely hold him back. It's great. at the camera and stuff and like somebody pretends like they can barely hold him back. It's great. My friend had one of the puppies from one of those fucking dogs and I was just like that's a hideous fucking dog. I don't care who's fake representative

is his father. I think they'd pick a very handsome looking bulldog though. Like a really expensive one. You'd think Ugga would be pick of the litter. Yeah, I would think so. Is he not? Show us what he looks like, Zach not well he looks like zach yeah zach can you find a picture of him dude georgia is about to face alabama to see who the best football team in the college nation is this is kind of exciting this is the match now kyle will often say things

like if you can't beat alabama then you don't deserve to be champion anyway that's right i go the other way i'm like i wish that fucking that clemson could have made it this year there'd be a much easier win yeah i really like like when you think about it that way it takes all the stress and pressure for your team off like you don't care anymore because it's like either we are the best or we're not i'm okay with either option what i now if you get cheated right like if the refs make a bad call then it's awful then it can like that's the kind of like sports loss that like sticks with you for a decade the buckner thing like you see he's the one who missed the the the the uh the ground ball to first right yeah with the man i know what you're talking about i don't

know how the fuck should i should either of us know about that But we do because he fucked that up and they lost that game. And I don't even know which game that was or how much it mattered. But he fucked it. Apparently it mattered so much that I know his name and I know what team he played on. Probably was like a genuinely good player all around. You get fucked like that. That's a different story. But if Georgia plays Alabama and they just lose it straight up

alabama's just better it's like all right well we were the second best team in the country this year it's good that we know that for sure because i do think that i think that if we're second to alabama then we're second in the country these are the best two teams in the country we both went and trounced three and four like like it wasn't close yeah i think alabama somebody somebody was like are you watching the Michigan game? I was like, yeah, I got it on their monitor. Aren't you worried? I was like, no.

No, we're going to beat the shit out of Michigan. Like, we're the second best team in the country. That's what I think. I think Alabama probably beats us. I think we got to get lucky. But I think that's what it's going to come down to. I mean, Alabama and Georgia both beat their competition, like, in similar point difference fashion.

And I think everyone would agree Michigan's a lot better than Cincinnati. Cincinnati got two field goals the entire game. Via MMA math, Georgia's actually better. Just give them the crown. How about this MMA math? Georgia played Alabama a month ago, and it didn't go our way. We barely held on through the first half. I don't think you understand MMA math.

No, he does. That is how you do it. It's 0-1. Alabama't think you understand MMA math. No, he does. That is how you do it. It's 0-1. Alabama lost to Texas A&M. No, excuse me. We wish it were 0-1. It's like 0-50 or something like that at this point. If you're going to have your team lose one game in a season,

do you want it to be to Alabama or to Texas A&M? To Alabama. Alabama. You guys have a more impressive record than Alabama does. Except that Alabama. You guys have a more impressive record than Alabama does. Except that Alabama... You guys have a more impressive record than Alabama. That would make sense if you were trying to pick either Georgia or Alabama to go face someone else. But you're not. They're facing each other.

No, we're fucked, probably. We've got to get lucky. Alabama lost to a way worse team. Alabama probably would have lost to Alabama as well. I mean, that'd be a tough match i guarantee alabama loses to alabama every year yeah at least one of them yeah um oh you mentioned like that second place pourier in mma he recently lost to i struggle with this pronunciation olivera that works and he's having a hard time swallowing it. But he didn't with Khabib.

And they asked him about it. And he's like, you know, when I lost to Khabib, that night didn't go my way. But I gave it my all. And he's just really good at fighting. But against Oliveira, that one doesn't sit right with me. I think that I could have won that. I think I replayed the mistakes I made and the things I could have done better. And I think I can beat him, but I didn't.

It kind of, when you were saying like, hey, if we lose to Alabama, then it is what it is. We're the second best team. It's okay. It was kind of heavy, I felt, for him. That's all. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah fighting's so personal you know it's like you could you can you can go home a loser in football and be like hey

i caught every ball they threw at me i i i fucking dodged every tackle i you know i didn't miss a block whatever but in fighting it's like yeah i fucked up huh yeah he threw that punch and i failed to duck and now now i am here looking at the lights and this man is asking me how many fingers after a hockey game there are always kind of two measures that impacted my mood did we win and how did i do and you know sometimes we'd lose and it'd be like all right all right i probably should feel bad about things but low-key i was a fucking all-star tonight yeah two assists guys come on we lost four to three and i scored three right like that's a good game right if anything you can be the guy going back into the locker room like just sullen if that's

the case and everyone has to be like, we're lucky to have this guy. Imagine what it would have been like if Woody hadn't been here. You got to join the other team. Dominate even harder. I could see myself having no loyalty to any beer league team. I just, I'm like a groupie. When we play a better team, I just

go to their, hey, what's up, guys? No, i've got beer yeah just slowly politic my way up to the a league even though i'm not good enough to play so you guys your team name's only here for the beer what do you think about that yeah pull it out can i play third pairing d do i know how no i do not no no I do not know how to play defense give me a try the uh NHL did their winter classic which was the blues versus uh middies team I can't wait to hear the blues dominated uh they scored five goals in the second period and like you could hear uh like the Minnesota home fans because it was in Minneapolisneapolis like like like like all the video

footage they would take of them it was less like yeah yeah and it was them like sitting there faces 100 covered some people wearing ski goggles because apparently it's like the coldest sporting event in north american history it was they you know they'll usually have like shots like how many shots each team has attempted or whatever this time it was like running temperature and so it was minus 10 and the david perron scores the first goal of the game for the blues and they're like david perron clinches the record for coldest goal ever and then and then every goal subsequently clinched that record because it kept getting colder did you say negative 18 it got to like it was negative 10 at the very start of the game and it got to like

minus 15 i think by the end of the game would you say they heated the ice they had to heat the ice yeah what i've never heard of heating the ice what happens when ice gets apparently it gets too chippy and they want it like not quite as you know prone to shatter and so they heat it up a little bit you could see like by the end of it, the Blues were winning, and they were going to clearly win the game. Usually where they'd be happy, our captain, Ryan O'Reilly, has a beard. He's skating up to take a face-off, and he's clearly miserable. His whole face is frozen.

All of it's red. It cuts to a video of some young guy on Minnesota being like, he's got frostbite on his ear, and so a trainer's coming over to put salve on it. The goalie's got a hat on on top of his helmet. Everybody's so cold. Wait, the goalie wore a hat on top of his

helmet? Yeah, their goalie did. I didn't know you could do that. It looked good. He had a horrible game. He did. He played terrible. Low-key, it was a balaclava that covered his eyes i i love like like like minnesota is such a huge hockey market and for some reason like you know how teams like the way it is with alabama and georgia not that extreme obviously but like alabama just seems to eat georgia's lunch

for some reason st louis always eats minnesota's lunch and so like i'm i'm going through i wanted to shit talk midi but i was i was nicer and i'm going through I wanted to shit talk Mitty, but I was nicer. And I was going through the Minnesota Wild subreddit as the Blues are scoring five unanswered goals in the second period. And just the sports freakouts and the takes that are coming on.

Fire every person. Don't even send the team back out there. Forfeit the game. Fill them with shame. And it's like that's not how this works, man. That's not how this works man that's not how this works hockey fan 69 140 million in payroll just like start over and like uh anytime i think in my head when i'm talking to my friends about sports it's just hockey and i'm like i think we should trade this guy and sign that guy for this amount like and in my head i'm like yeah totally makes sense and then i read those comments online and i'm like what a fucking idiot like if that were the best move the guy whose job it is and who's done this for four previous team probably

would do it you know they'll be like it's an old boys club of gms and they'll like hire a gm who doesn't have nhl experience and he shits the they that's what happened in Arizona they were like we're going with the youngest GM this is like five years ago the youngest general manager in four major sports history something Shaka and he's like I'm analytics driven I'm all analytics we're not going by old boys hockey we're going data and analytics

and like he took Arizona from the worst team in the league to somehow an even worse team in the league like he somehow even worse team in the league. Like he somehow filled his cap to the brim and got nothing for it. And like all of these other GMs were like, I'll trade you this guy, but you have to take the cap. Okay. Okay. And like just taking advantage, like looting him.

And he's like, no, no, we're rebuilding. Like five years into that, they're worse every year pretty much or about the same the worst team in the league and they just fired him and then it turned out that he had cheated somehow by like which it wasn't even a big cheat he like told some prospects to like go to the gym so he could like record their lifts and stuff and apparently that's not allowed and so they find the organization a couple million that is lame lame. That's very stupid. Yeah, he could have just asked him. Yeah, for sure. Or sent a spy.

You don't go yourself, asshole. Hey, hypothetically, what are you lifting today? It's like, who are you? Why do you have a fake mustache on? It's the GM dressed up. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the gym. It's like like you just walked into what he's

saying welcome to the so remember that video that that midi so poorly filmed of him tussling with the guy over uh over like 12 worth of goods apparently somebody tried to steal a whole shopping cart of stuff the other day and i've got a video of it but i'll maybe we'll save for pk or something that's great for people midi is a fan and friend of the show and he's a security guard he's lost prevention and did he prevent this midi's a big boy he's like i think he's lost a good bit of weight uh i think he's around 6'4 265 now nice so he used to have like a female partner he said. And he was just like, oh, no, because it's a rough place he's working in.

Not the store necessarily, but the area. Like, like, he's got to, like, fight for, like, keyboard cleaner sometimes. I'm not even kidding. I'm like, what are the what are the rules of engagement? He's like, they swing on me. I can do whatever i want so this guy's stealing like a shopping cart full of goods and midi has to go out there and like take it from him and he's a much smaller man but but he's just like he's just like like bucks at

midi and he's just like fuck you like in his face the guy just walks away and he takes the shopping is that how is that on video too yeah yeah yeah oh i can't wait to see i think i had to save it for the show for genuine reaction and um mini copyright strikes but now he's got now he's got some other big galoot working with him so they're just like fucking they're they're two scary dudes i think they're both like six three to six five5 and well over 250. You don't want to steal any keyboard cleaner from that particular store. It's like a department store, isn't it?

Yeah. Something like that. I don't want to say the store name. I don't know. Yeah, I think it's regional, so I honestly don't know the name. But it's like a department store of some kind. How strict is it? I imagine myself having that job, then like three times after the first

week they're like you really didn't see that guy because it looked like you saw him and you didn't do anything you just went back and watched tv in a break room no had i seen him i would have done how long until they fire me when it becomes clear i am not going to do this job i totally would have beat the shit out of him over you know you winked at him and then did one of these towards the side door taylor it looks bad on the cameras. You know about the cameras, right? You operate them. You need to get the wares they're stealing back.

You're just shouting, be gone and get out of here. Stop. See, and I know you're lying because here's the video and it's you screaming while alone and I'll do it again! Why are you choreographing fake fights in the women's department? Trying to... I really love that not only does

Mitty do this, but he's kind enough to record the security for the fact that he killed me. That is good. Does he's kind enough to record the security. Does he hold his phone up to the close? He did a better job this time, I promise. That's great. So many Reddit videos are like that if you think about it. And I never considered like, but it's somebody like recording a bank of security cameras or something like that. And you can hear them off.

Sometimes I'll be like, watch this. Watch what he does now. He's brought his buddies in to show everybody. My friend does that. He records his own laptop and gives me videos of stuff. And I'm like, that was your laptop. Send me the video. And apparently that makes me the boomer.

What an asshole. He's sending you phone video of his computer screen. Yes. And you're the boomer. This guy. Yeah. And dude, this is a group chat. And. Yes. And you're the boomer. This guy. Yeah, and dude, this is a group chat, and they all agree that I'm the boomer, that the millennial thing would be to take a video of the video.

You need to reevaluate the crowd you're rolling with. You're right. Is it a millennial thing to just do things half-assed and not really try? It could be. Oh, okay. But it's easier to just send the video from your computer.

Of course it is. So why add the step on your phone? I don't know. It makes it something that's easy. It actively makes it harder. I have a video I want to share. Yes. It's air motor content.

I promise you it's better than you're thinking no deaths I hope no frankly frankly when you said it was better than I hoped I just assumed there was a death keep watching good volume please oh yeah I want to see I want to hear the screams

good old Robbie Auschwitz is there a moment when he realizes he never should have started this silly hobby and he professes that to the camera so this whole video is two minutes long and i would argue that the best parts are in the last 15 seconds or so but this guy's foot dragging he's flying low over water which is a lot of fun yeah it didn't go well oh shit so he's saying larry went went down Larry went down I don't know these guys but they seem like well I was gonna say they seem like competent pilots one made a mistake this guy pretty quickly makes a decision to put it down

immediately he's on wheels okay okay he rolls in and he unbuckles as quickly as he can he didn't land his wing gracefully. He doesn't give a darn. He is just unhooking. Yeah, he's getting down. To go check on that guy. Yeah. And now you can see the camera's shaky, but he is running to this dude in the water.

This dude is only in like two feet of water. Well, that doesn't matter. Yeah, if you're all tied up. He's got a backpack on. Yeah. Listen. Hey, I need help over here in the pond right back behind us. Guy's just right about to die.

Yep. Yeah. A little more. Saved his life Saved his life 100% Fiddled fucking around with his toes I'll flip you over dude But I don't think I got the power Oh fuck Dude I was drowning.

That was the part. I just want to get you fucking upright, dude. That's about where you've seen him. Damn, he really saved his life. If he would have done a quick walk over there, that guy's dead. Like, he needed every bit of that sprint. Right? If he had made a slower decision to land

then he would have run out of runway and and had to do another loop around it could have ended very differently um that guy immediately there's a a term for it but it's like analyze orient analyze and react i think is what they say. And he went through those steps quickly. He oriented himself. He analyzed the situation. Then he reacted appropriately. He immediately went into action. And that dude was drowning.

For sure. That's like spooks. I hate that sound of people gasping for air. Because obviously you think, what if that was me? That sounds horrible. If I'm strapped into a chair and I'm going over and over my head like at first i'm like someone will get me and it's like no i'm gonna die this is the way you're gonna die what's one of my family gonna think so that was super recent and uh i'm glad everyone's okay and that the mistake he made it it's um it's pretty

easy well i almost said it backwards but it's pretty difficult to know how high you are over water. You'd think it'd be super easy. Like, oh, this is smooth water. I'm one foot over it. I'm six feet over it. It's no trouble. But you can think you're higher than you are when the water is smooth. And people make that mistake a lot.

But, yeah, that was pretty hardcore. I saw it. Water's no joke. You don't fuck around too much over the water do you almost never i have never foot dragged in water ever seems like a terrible idea for the reason given i would really like to what i need is like six inches of water it's just as much fun as six feet and it's not as dangerous you can even run it out you know if you find yourself too low you can just land like i do every day but um uh so six inches is pretty okay and you tend not to drown you need you can get your face out does anybody ever take these things out over the ocean yeah yeah i've done that um one time i flew gary to kitty hawk like we flew from my house to Kitty Hawk, which is where the first flight happened.

And I don't know how the sound that separates the Outer Banks from the mainland in North Carolina, I'd have to look it up, but I bet it's like 12 miles or so, something like that. And I flew over that. There was a bridge that I was in gliding distance to most of the time but that's a rough landing like a busy highway bridge oh they'll slow down i guarantee it if i see you coming over i-85 i'm pulling the e-brake if you're watching for me i bet you would if i if i suddenly drop down right on your hood then it's yucky no one suspects the night hawk but uh but yeah so i in general though i try not to do that. Carry on. You should be the Nighthawk for Halloween

next year. This is the last time I'll mention it. That way it'll actually be fun. I want to do... I forget the guys. Help me with the fellow's name who did the really poor Woody cosplay. He had like a trash can and maybe a fan or something. A trash bag as a wing.

Oh I remember that now. He was Pathetic Mealtime He had like a trash can and maybe a fan or something. A trash bag as a wing. Oh, I remember that now. It was Pathetic Meal Time, but I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah. Meatball. Meatball. Yeah, he's the one who... Last I heard of Meatball, he had become a truck driver and then crashed that truck

and decided that he was no longer going to be a truck driver. That's a rough go of it. Oh, and then he was in my Twitch chat a couple months ago. And he said something to someone else, not to me. And I was just like, is that the Meatball? But I recognize his real name. He doesn't like being called Meatball, so he didn't say anything. Why are we calling him Meatball?

He's not an enemy of the show. We enjoyed his company. Yeah, but he didn't say anything. Why are we calling him Meatball? He's not an enemy of the show. We enjoyed his company. Yeah, but I like picking on him. Because it's mean. It's like brotherly picking on, but mean and not in love. He's alright.

I hope you're doing well out there, Meatball. If you're stuck with the pathetic meals, we could have got something going, man. It would have been great. It would be a much more niche reference, but another paramotor guy you could dress up as would be this guy. And you have green beads. And you're soaking wet. That would be funny. That might be in poor taste.

He's alive. He's alive. Yeah, he's alive. He might even be laughing about it now. I bet you he's really, like, if I were him, I would have undying gratitude towards the guy that saved my life. Oh, yeah. That would be a forever thing. Yeah, for sure.

For sure. And I would step back, like, 10 paces on the intensity. Be like, oh, that wasn't worth it for the little thrill I got. Yeah, it wouldn't be doing any more foot dragging. You know what I'm always curious about in that situation? Why isn't there like a quick detach sort of like mount thing? I feel like in a race car type situation, you can get out

fairly quick, but it seems like a lot of times these guys are I know there's a lot of rigging and stuff and the sail itself or the wing itself is just kind of like a fishnet sometimes. But like that aside, isn't there like a pop thing where that you could just like get out of there there are actually two paramotors that

do have um very much like a car where there's like a single thing and five different seatbelts release at the same time one of them was clever enough that you can choose so the downside of that is you really really don't want to get disconnected, right? Like you imagine you're at 3000 feet and you, I don't know, your coat gets caught on it. Okay. I have thoughts on the mechanism and it's not the sort of thing a coat gets caught on. But this guy's, his has like a, basically it's a, it's a quick release, a lever that comes off very easily. Also like a car buckle, if you don't want the quick release to be active right now. So maybe you're doing acro moves or you're doing something where you really want to be locked in.

You do that. And if you're going over water, you change it to the extra quick release. It's a good system. You'd see it. You'd approve of it. Yeah. But mine doesn't have that.

Mine has like five different buckles and. Here's the thing. Last time I landed in water, I almost died too. And I am a water guy, right? And also I'm pretty tested. Seaman, I like that. I get it. And I'm pretty tested in like panic situations.

I'm better than average there. I'm actually kind of proud of myself in regards to how well I do under the gun, but my hands and feet got bound up by the line. And this was a planned reserve throw in the water. And a boat was there to work as a lifeguard. I never thought I'd need them, but I did. And by the time he got to me and sort of pulled my head above the water,

it was like, I don't know how much longer I had. Like it was a struggle and I was getting breaths occasionally and it wasn't sustainable. And then he rescued me. Because that's a big fear in like driving, right? It's not a crash. It's the fire. You know, for multiple reasons.

One, crashes are so survival. the car is made to survive a crash but it's an oven as far as a fire is concerned but also like nobody everybody would rather die in a crash than die in a fire right so like that's the big fear maybe you're unconscious for the fire maybe you're unconscious before the fire yeah maybe you wake up and you're like oh no i should have done better i should have done better yeah if you're gonna go out you want to go out like like ryan dunn and that other guy in the porsche dale earnhardt just fucking instantly dead wrapped around a tree well not dale earnhardt he was dead in a different way hey like quickly next thing yeah yeah yeah but um if i were in that if i were uh doing what you do especially i would want the quick detach

thing of some kind i'd want to see i would want a mechanism where you have to do like a push a twist and then a pull or something you know what i mean like like like a three lock type system safety on there you know how like all right so rubik's cube is a good example of this it's over complicated right like but you've never accidentally solve a rubik's cube like i want something that you've never accidentally solved but also something that won't take me four minutes to do if i'm a chinese genius just have to squeeze both sides at the same time for it to come undone it could be as easy as that i need more than that because because I'm at 3,000 feet, Woody. This might happen. I could flex and my pecs could come in and squeeze that

bitch. I don't know. That is a risk, yes. Look how jacked he is as he fell from the sky. People would be all glistening in the sunlight. They'd do Photoshop of Icarus flying through the sun. I'd pose. As you hit the one sidewalk in a big lush park for for a brief

amount of time people would notice how confident i was as i fell and my my positioning at like superman they would wonder if i was actually flying for a brief amount of time very brief very very brief they'd be like holy shit is he nope oh he's definitely dead he doesn't fly as well as he thinks he does i don't even want to go over there and check on it looks gross sometimes accidents are like that there's like we just we should stay here it's like a rotten pumpkin that's that's what i think when i say those air show disasters when the plane like goes up does a loop-de-loo and goes nose first into the ground at like 300 miles per fucking hour jeez i've never seen let's just let's just wait till it goes out and we'll go check i when

they hit the crowd like that's like uh not the crowd really you couldn't do your shit so you'd crash without hitting the crowd like it one guy died so his plane wouldn't hit the crowd really you couldn't do your shit so you'd crash without hitting the crowd like it one guy died so his plane wouldn't hit the crowd i saw that oh yeah yeah he could have ejected but he uh he wanted to get the plane away from the crowd and died that's a good move yeah he owes the crowd that yeah yeah he's the asshole in the fucking tomcat doing loop-de-loops like exactly you've accepted this risk the crowd didn't sign up for this probably yeah oh this is reckless you would imagine a waiver would be signed but still like actually they literally signed up for this fuck them dude pull the chute no you couldn't live with yourself you couldn't live with yourself well actually he would live you'd have to well

and the best part is like you would have that slow pillowy descent as the jet fuel ignites who did this it's that guy up there floating down as the baby's screaming he just watches it there you guys look at i just happen to see this still. Go to this video. Just go to 128. Oh, boy. One minute 28. And just pause on 128 exactly. And you can see as like dozens of people are being killed by this plane.

The guy is on his way to safety. Can you put that up there, Zach? 128 exactly. It takes a second. You don't have to play the video. You can just show the image of 128. Jesus Christ.

That's me. That's me. That's Captain Myers blasting off. You might be wondering how I got into this predicament. I drank a lot last night, and I wasn't prepared. Did you see the caption? Both pilots ejected after hitting the ground and survived with minor injuries. Both of them.

And you know, like after they hit the ground, they have to be like, ooh, ah, ooh, I need to go to the hospital too. I'm not fine. I'm going to have like burn ointment. This has got a wooey. All right. To be fair, though, he waited till like the last fucking minute. To be fair, though, he waited until the last fucking minute. If you can mentally rewind this video, make the plane go up in the air and make him go back toward the plane.

He ejected at like 20 feet. That implies he started his eject procedure and stopped navigating the plane just now. That might have happened 15, 30 seconds ago. You know how it works, right? They reach down between their legs and they pull straight up. That's it. Right. So at some point he evaluated and like observed or oriented, observed, react

and... A tenth of a second ago. It's not somewhere. I think it's longer. I think it might be. I think he might have first pulled that lever 15 seconds ago. He could have flown longer. I don't know if it would have made a difference. Well, when you pull the lever, it happens right away.

There he is leaving the plane, right? I do see what you're saying. But how long before he decides to touch the lever, he pulls the lever, the seat reacts to the lever pull, and he gets... It might have been time. In my head, that's always been like instant like the ejection but I also don't know anything other than movies I'm trying to remember if

I if all of the ejections I've seen have been from movies or if I've seen some like combat footage where they ejected but in the movies at least when they pull that bitch they're fucking gone they're rocketeering out of there I imagine it be comparable to like getting out of car doors quickly as you can like undo the seatbelt now I got it now be comparable to getting out a car door as quickly as you can.

Undo the seatbelt. All right, we got to find... Now we got to know. I disagree so much that we got to know. I would argue just to decide... Do we know what kind of plane that is? Can I just use an F-14 or something? I like that.

That seems fine. There's only really two kinds of planes. There's Cessnas and pointy ones. Oh, yeah, big ones for people. This Quora seems to think it happens in 0.3 seconds. That's from some guy that says aircraft engineer. He couldn't just put that on here. That guy's full of shit.

He's not including the process. Like if I said said how long does it take to throw a parachute right it's on your lap and you just throw it out to the side shucks it'll be four seconds to decide that you're really going to do it and toss it over to the side i disagree because i think this is an air force pilot or something or at least a high level pilot and i think he's thinking like I'll eject at the last minute. At the last minute, I'll eject. I'm steering. I'm trying to save the crowd, but at the last minute, I'm ejecting.

At 25 feet above the ground, I'm ejecting. And he's like, ah! He's got to be doing that, right? He's not just like, I wonder what should I do when I'm almost about to hit the ground. I don't know. I'll figure it out when I'm almost about to hit the ground. He knows what he's going to do. He's got everything planned out, I think.

So this guy is an aerospace engineer who said i ejected from an a4 at 520 knots ias at about 100 feet agl during a sandblower mission and yes the ejection sequence is fully automatic and happens very quickly it's a hard process everything is happening for two reasons happen it's hard to process everything that is happening for two reasons it happens quickly and it's very very violent and it looks like like a lot of his comment is just talking about like the preparation after you launch okay then like how to safely get back down to the ground i guess am i the only one here who thinks it'd be really fucking fun to get ejected it does seem like a good time. People get hurt frequently, though. Oh. I'd have to watch someone else do it

based on how scary that looked. Here's what I want. I want a ride at a theme park where you go up a tower, let's say 200 feet, because there's plenty of rides that tall, and they put me in an ejector seat, and they fucking eject me

at like a 45-degree angle, but, you know, an angle so I get away from the platform and I parachute off down there. Not in the the water just into the rest of the park you're like landing on oh can i toggle with that does this need to have toggles no no you're just like praying i guess you get tied up in the ferris wheel and slowly torn apart i asked my airborne friend why they don't have like toggles on their parachutes i'm like what is with the army oh my god and you're like 1940s parachute technology why don't why was

everyone steering around and he's like woody imagine dropping 15 000 soldiers at the same time over normandy or something now every one of these jackass 19-year-old idiots gets to steer around. This is a total rest. They're going to be smashing into each other and plummeting to the earth. No, you drop them like they're luggage, like they're Jeeps or something. Yep, that makes a ton of sense.

It does. Whenever they do a big drop, like they do 500 people as a demonstration for some army thing, there's like between like 5 and 25 guys who go to the hospital from it that's a terrible rate yeah it is and i'm like what's up with that why do they smash into the ground so goddamn hard that they're going to the hospital afterwards and he's like yeah they're in a hurry to get down people are shooting at them they can't just land casually like you do. Yeah, that makes sense too. It's not that they haven't figured out better shoots.

It's that they have a different mission. This is an area where women are definitely better soldiers. You could parachute them in from lower altitudes. Because they're lighter? Because they're lighter. But then they would get shot easier, right? Or no, I guess they'd fall faster. No, they'd be smaller targets.

What are you talking about? This all makes a lot of sense. If you put them in skirts as a uniform, the men below will be distracted. Kyle's a military genius. Their thoughts of murder will turn to rape. Yep. But luckily,

this special unit of men. No, that doesn't work. I can't say that. But luckily, this special unit of... Men. No, no, that doesn't work. No, I can't say that. Kyle, KG. I can't say that. Well, in any case...

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense that they wouldn't be able to toggle because they would all fly into each other. I think that if you dropped women in, though, you could drop them from a lower altitude, though, for sure. You probably could. It was something much more horrific than that, Zach. You're just – that's like – you could tell that joke to a child. No, no, no. Kyle's got a third of the Ks you need already.

There were slurs. You didn't ask me where this was going. Kyle's joke belongs in the Salty's platoon. Yours belongs in Weenie Hut Jr. There were slurs. I've been having a fall on tar cop i i i we've got like six minutes left so so it seems what level are you now oh 25 maybe something like that you still have money issues no i think i got a couple million now i'd like to ask because there comes a point in the game where it kind of just accumulates

and you're running up the score but i don't to me i feel like that's close to level 40 anyway carry on yeah i'm not running up the score i don't have this the the hideout established uh fully yet it's so much so that is this level capped anyway you can't have your hideout really established until certain levels uh but in any case it's it's been a lot of fun this wipe to tell you the truth i i i have been having a hard time playing with squads like if if we get a four or five man together this is gonna be a fucking disaster but if it's me and one other guy or me and two other guys we can usually get in get our mission completed and get the fuck out but uh i i have a pretty i think my survival rate's like high 50s or something.

It's not that good, but I feel like I'm really good at getting out of those sticky situations because everybody wants to stay and fight. We're sitting there with bags full of gold, and it's like, yeah, let's fight some more people. I'm just like, let's jump out the fucking windows, guys. Let's run. Let's hide.

Let's go home to the stash, unload this shit, and come back for a fight if we want to without backpacks full of gold. Well, are the guys you're playing with so rich they don't even care? No! I did run into a hacker last night. I was in room 301

in West, and I dropped my bag in the room. It's only got one way in. I go back out and we're fighting guys in the hallway who have us pinned. When I go back in there to search my bag for food because I'm running low on energy,

my bag has been stolen from inside a room that only has one entrance. I'm standing in the doorway. Someone magic through the wall or flew up to the third store grabbed my you don't think he's stealthy came in from the other side of the hallway

there is no other side he only stole one thing if you're familiar with like room 301 on the west side of shoreline this is shoreline okay so like there's only one way in and I'm there and I like there's no way to get around me. A million percent.

Someone magicked in and stole my bag. And then right after that, they killed Larry. So now it's just me left. So I just sprinted all the way across the hall and dove out the third floor, broke both my legs, and sprinted to the extract with what I had, which is what I wanted to do originally. I have no problem running and hiding and cowering

in that fucking game. People need to learn to run more. Why didn't the guy clean you out? He just took one bag. The bag is everything. The bag is everything. Kyle had stuff on his body, but Kyle's going to fight for it.

He was able to rob Kyle when he wasn't looking. It's like a backpack like you run around with a backpack and you fill your backpack up my backpack had like another player's gear that i killed and like all the gear all the shit i'd found in the resort like 600 what a piece of shit are a ton of people doing that the way this game works is if you're in a fight you might want to drop your backpack so your character moves a little better. That's probably why he did it. Exactly. Yeah, with the inertia.

If you weigh like – my character is kind of bitch-made, right? His strength is like level 12. So if he's carrying around 150, 120 pounds, and he like shuffles left and right, it's just like real life. You might stumble over if you did that. If you tried to like sidestep and then immediately like change directions, you're fucking you fucking like oh so you don't want to do that when you're having a gunfight but yeah um it's a hacker larry said what a lot of what's happening now because they've made so many changes to the flea market i think it's hard to go and pay like real world money for tarkov

money but what they what they can do is still cheat. So you'll basically have a guy who will lead you and your buddies into a raid cheating and he'll just fuck everybody else up and you'll take all the, all the loot and all the gear. Ah, so you bring a God with you and then you tend to go do well if God's on your side. Yeah.

He just goes in and mops everybody up and you take everything and you pay him for the service. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty lame. It's, it your side. Yeah, he just goes in and mops everybody up and you take everything and you pay him for the service. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty lame. It's shitty. Otherwise, great white, great changes, especially for somebody like me who wasn't sprinting around and turning on a dime with M4

over the head spray anyway. I'm trying to master that, by the way, the blind fire. I've gotten much, much better at that. I've gotten a kill or two with it now. I'm'm not good at it but i've watched twitch streamers who are so i understand how useful it can be i'm envious because it's it's um so for taylor's benefit it requires a a bit of like contortion for me i remapped it but it's like alts and w or something like that but it's in the middle of a gunfight and you can like put your gun over your head like this and shoot or you can like stick it around the corner over a barrier or something yeah yeah yeah it doesn't expose much of you just your hands so you can blind

fire do you know where to aim you don't you just kind of remember where he was you don't but landmark seems to landmark is uh you could argue the best player in the world and anton and like these guys on twitch seem to hit what they're aiming at somehow i go into the hideout and i like try to like i practice it right like like i'm like all right i'll aim and i'll like all right this is where i think the target is and i'll pull the trigger no that's way to the left and just keep repeating that process until i kind of but in the heat of the moment um i have an issue where like i get a huge adrenaline dump when i'm playing and my hands go numb and they start shaking and uh and that's that's really embarrassing to get from a video game but it's like it's it's a fight or flight reflex and uh and like i get that

from like only like the scariest things in life do that to me. And for whatever reason, Tarkov can do that to me. And it makes it hard to play. There's a lot to lose. You're thinking of everything you have. So I can't play slow and tactical anymore because that builds that tension. So I really have to run and gun and rush. If I'm just loosey-goosey with it and I'm just pushing them and spraying,

I don't get that. But if it's sneaking and everybody's creeping and it's like, he's in there, he's in there, he's in there, he's in there. My fucking hands go goddamn numb and I can barely use the keyboard mouse anymore.

It's ridiculous. It's super embarrassing because I keep fucking up. I know I'm better than some of the things that I'm doing. You know, it's embarrassing for me when you die. So first of all, like it's a live streaming. Your own death is rough because first of all,

it's kind of traumatic. You've tried very hard. You've been working at this for 40 minutes yet. You have all your hopes and dreams in this gear that's loaded in your backpack. Emotionally, this game, when you lose hurts more than like call of duty.

So there's that also, when you lose your screen, like bangs at you your your headphones your cans are like rocking at you and it's just like bam everything about you gets like stimulated at the same time you're literally scared and now all your shit's gone and it plays this music that you know so well there And you're like... Do you ever yell out in fear? Oh, yeah.

Is it masculine? No. Yes. I'm going to do mine. You can go ask any of the guys I play with. This is what happens. We'll be playing and out of nowhere, I'll get shot in the fucking head and I'll just go.

Like sometimes it scares me so bad that I pick my, my hands come up. I'm not playing anymore. I'm scared. Like my character is the one getting fucked up, but I am like, I'm like, Oh,

at the time you need to get ready to do your best you're your worst right like ah and then you come back and all of a sudden you're like throwing grenades or something when you're trying to go sideways and it's not good it's real bad i gotta i gotta get and like part of it is i don't want to let my friends down i think that's the biggest thing because i don't give a shit about about losing gear because i can just get more i've got all the keys now i've got ultra med key i've got all the interchange keys uh i've even got a bunch of reserve keys i can i can go play by myself and make two or three million a day just having fun by myself but i don't want to let my friends down i know their gear is on the ground and i i let the last rate of last night left a real sour taste in my mouth i was bummed out

all night because i i was the last one left and uh the guy killed me and uh i should have killed him it was it it's it's it's a really good game anybody who wants to get into our golf it's it's still fairly early wipe fucking if you but you need time okay if you got a job don't do this okay don't do this i'm talking to you guys out there who need something to focus on to to to whittle away maybe you've had a rough time with a just a baffling amount of free time let's say hypothetically you're losing in every facet of life but have a four thousand dollar gaming pc you're the audience we're talking to yep yep yep going through a little bout of depression. Need to be a winner at something. Jump on over to Tarkov. You can grind up 20 million. It's great.

Should we wrap here? just keep my mind on all day while I'm eating this food and sick of this regimen. I've added so much volume that I'm in pain every day. And I need... I'm sorry. Volume, you're not talking about the food. You're talking about the lifts. Oh, both. Both.

Okay. I'm eating so much goddamn rice, but I'm doing sets of 20 of everything now. And it's just... 20? It really fucking hurts. 3x20? No. 3x5x20?

4x5x20. Good gosh. It takes a while. I was in the gym for two hours. It might probably take just as long, but I don't do as much volume. Yeah. It takes two hours and 15

minutes did it for i can go longer than that i'm very chatty but um but i'm just hurting but i'm just hurting all the time and i'm eating this food so i'm sick kind of all the time and uh you don't want to do that yeah you do and uh. And so I need something to take my mind off of that because I can't go about my normal day. And I have this belief that it's easier to get my calorie surplus if I'm not running around and doing a lot. I need to have a sedentary lifestyle during this thing that might be counterintuitive to some people. But the goal here is a calorie surplus and heavy lifting. and heavy lifting. The best way to achieve that is by playing video games all day

and lifting for two to three hours a night and eating 3,000 calories a day. My leg day doesn't have much volume. It had six sets, two and a half hours. Get it done. Why are you watching feature-length films in between?

There was an hour long. Each rep is like 12 minutes. why are you watching feature-length films in between there wasn't there wasn't each rep is like 12 minutes it's the ultimate time time under tension you know the motorcycle trip i took this guy did like a 25 part series on the same trip his motorcycle is just a moped it's so slow it's a honda 125 it only goes like 40 miles an hour at best and i am watching him his videos will be like an hour and a half long and i'm like all right sign me up i got time anyway yeah uh that's an exaggeration maybe but i am slow at working out yeah yeah i like to get in there and get it done um obviously because i'm at a gym i like like my new gym a lot. It's a lot more... There are a lot more enormous people there.

I am one of the smallest people there. Everybody else is gigantic. Gig-fucking-gantic. Is it barren almost? Is it a little... Some gyms are... Spartan, you mean. That's a bit of free weights.

Yeah. It is very Spartan. That other gym had all that colorful shit. All them pussy pants! free weights yeah it is very spartan that other gym had all that that colorful shit all in pussy pads good looking women yeah no there's nothing here but men with worn out shirts that's a new shirt actually he did that to it when he put it on today yeah no i i like it more it's it same equipment, essentially, but it's just a different kind of environment. And I can, I don't know. There's nobody there

at late night when I like to go. You're back at it. Nice. I know fitness will wrap up. I took a little bit of a break. I took a short vacation this weekend, which inserted like a couple of rest days. And then I came back and did leg and rest, and tomorrow I hit it again for

good, but my elbow was hurting. So it was smart to just take a little, take a little weekend off and then go back. So you should, you should add something for, I feel like you always, we should end the show.

Okay. PKN 385.