Painkiller Already - PKN 386

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

pkn 386 taylor wants to start with something what do you got georgia georgia they won the college football championship at long last i learned from a infographic overlay on the screen first time since 1980 that they've won the national championship so 42 years almost half a century congratulations kyle that's yeah that's wonderful news and to be i mean i'm also i don't know why you're singling out kyle you know congratulations to all of us for this tremendous victory that we were all a part of my favorite player i couldn't name just one there's a guy that dresses in red or orange a lot and uh probably reddishdish and maybe some white in there. You don't know the deep colors!

He's good. He's really good. Where's our home field, Woody? Where's that at? I mean, it's in this house right now! What is it called? It's in my heart, Kyle. It's called the Peach State Bowl. Is it in athens yeah but what's it called it's called the georgia dome or the bull dome or the oh the bull dome that rolls off the tongue doesn't it bull dome what is it called for some reason bull dome sounds vaguely dirty right

oh yeah i hear bulldog out of it. A little BDSM sounding. Yeah, I don't know. Is it not the Georgia Stadium? I think Bulldome is like when you blow your wife's boyfriend or something like that. Bulldome has to be something filthy. Yeah, Bulldome has to be something filthy.

I don't like that at all. No, I think it's Sanford Stadium. But no, it was a... I wasn't kidding, man. I was playing Tarkov and watching the game at the same time. That helped me deal with the stress. They were like, Kyle, aren't you watching the game? And I'm like, guys, it'll take care of itself.

Meanwhile, I've got it on another monitor. I tried to watch the game, but I didn't have it. I could have illegally streamed it, but instead I watched the box score increment on the ESPN website. That was how I enjoyed the game. I forgot that it was being played until Kyle, you texted with like a minute and 10 left. And I was like, oh, it wasn't over. I think they were up by eight when Kyle declared victory.

And then they scored again. Maybe. Oh, did they? I think it was 33 to18 at the end, right? I'm so happy about this whole thing because it took so long. Every year they beat us. Georgia was better. We tried to explain to you, Kyle,

it took a much better team to beat Georgia than it took to beat Atlanta. I'm sorry, Alabama. So Georgia was really the favorite. My sports math worked out on this one. Well, I mean, I kind of agreed with you. Georgia was really the favorite. My sports math worked out on this one. Well, I kind of agreed with you. I thought we had the better team, but I said the opposite before the

games because I didn't want to throw the dog. I know the dogs watch the show. I don't want to throw them off their game. I know they value my opinion on their sport very highly. I go into the game. Our sport? Yeah, our sport. I say something like game. Our sport. Yeah. Our sport. You know,

I say something like, Oh, I don't, I don't think he's gonna be able to make the key throws. I think the running games, the stat is going to be well established, but regardless, I don't think he's gonna be able to make the long throws.

I think he hears that. I agree with you. You can't sleep that night. He's like, Kyle doesn't believe in me. Kyle doesn't believe in me. Are you sure that's how you help your team? I guess it is.

It worked. Yeah. It's, it's exactly how I helped my team. And I led, I led it is. It worked. Yeah, it's exactly how I helped my team. I led us to victory. Eventually. From home base. I mean, like

my modern generals, right? We. Just like modern generals. We modern generals. No, I'm really happy. It's great for them to win. It's cool to see all of them so happy, the coach, the players, and everybody.

Did Alabama players look really torn up and sad at the end? Who cares what the players look like? It's about the fans. Oh, did the fans seem upset? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You've never seen so many crying, fat, white women since Ben and Jerry's had a business.

I've seen a lot of hot bama fans like wicked stupid daisy yeah so is the cameraman he zooms in on and on them nacho man in row 68 they all do look at that jim that's 28 worth of nachos that one man has watch it 28 worth of nachos at a college football game that's two nachos not for uga right don't they do that one or no that's atlanta that's right that's first of all i've never been to a uga game it seems like a terrible fucking idea to go in person but um at the mercedes-benz stadium yeah they have that like fan friendly pricing which is i think is going to be the future i bet you'd have fun at a UGA game.

It's not like you're going to be sitting with the rowdy college kids being crazy. You'll be in the real adult stands. I don't know. I could easily accidentally end up in the wrong part of the stadium. I don't know. I also have noticed that after the games, when I've been in Athens, there's a lot of drunk people who are 17 or 18 throwing liquor bottles in the streets.

I try to avoid that too. That's perfect cover for whatever crime. They only do that after a game if we lose or if we win. In the event of a tie, you're safe. I don't even know if they do. Maybe if there was a terror attack

or arson incident or something yeah looking looking back like i went to mizzou games as a student and that was a lot of fun but like looking back on the reasons we thought it was so much fun just getting shithouse drunk like i at my current version of me you're right i don't think i'd want to go to a football game a big sec game it'd be kind of stressful you know how stupid the kids are going to act georgia already has because of their success but here's what happens when nc state has success and by success that usually means having a number next to their name i think oh this might help with recruiting next year right we we get ranked or we finished rank maybe a team looks at nc state i'm sorry candidate looks at nc state to recruit a little better than they would have otherwise because they have a number next to them we finished this year with a number i feel

like georgia has been ending with a number less than five for a while now does this help them be better next year tremendously champion it's the first thing i said was this is going to be great for recruiting what's also interesting though and i haven't looked into this at all so like i don't know but i i just read some uh comment about how there were some inside sources saying that there was going to be some coaching staffs staff movements from both sides alabama and georgia something about fsu um i guess there's a vacancy there i don't follow college football like nearly as closely as i do some other why would georgia get rid of some of their coaching staff i don't think it's like that nobody's going to get rid of yeah you know the championship the

champions are going to be assistant coach becomes a head coach oh yeah he gets a better job offer yeah but but every coordinator who just won a national title might be looking for a pay raise right now if they're not under a contract, right? The same way, like, I mean, it goes both ways. A lot of people just got fired or got fired. Oh, on family? No, no, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry. In the sports world, you know how it is.

I'm sure it's the same in, like, hockey, basketball, baseball. Like, toward the end of the season, I guess they all have different ways of doing it. Like, sometimes they let a coach go out gracefully, and sometimes they're like, was your shot like like you mid-season that's what i mean yeah yeah well it's tuesday we're 114 games in so see you later bob boys this is mike he's the new coach like they don't give a shit baseball they'll do it in formula one this upcoming year is the last year of a lot of people's contracts.

Also, this upcoming year is the year of a tech change. I'm not an expert, but let's pretend roughly every five to nine years they really change up the cars. So one, the drivers are all going to be free to switch around. The year after, we figure out which teams were good at making the new car. So the whole world could be topsy-turvy after next year they're looking forward to it are you into like the uh the drama of all of that of like of like oh mclaren's making a bid for this guy and then blah blah blah yeah in sports in general that part of it like the social media part of it yeah is it might be

two-thirds of it for me like i watch the highlights i pay attention to the game and part of it. Yeah. It might be two thirds of it for me. Like I watched the highlights. I pay attention to the game and sort of the horse race aspect of how the teams are doing during the season. Me too. But like John Moran just blocked a shot. Dude, he jumped so high. He might have been able to put his chin on the rim. Everyone is like, what? Was there a trampoline there?

Like, how did that even happen? And then social media is blowing up. it was there a trampoline there like how did that even happen and then social media is blowing up it's just a block like a block is good but it doesn't think it's one block but in basketball they pay attention to like how hard a guy blocked it how highly i blocked it and shit like that um and i get into it too even though probably if you're just trying to win games two points is two points yeah yeah oh my god his chin could have almost touched the fucking board i don't know that was even the peak of his thing he was so high he was so who shot it 20 number 20 down there sure i think so like you do but i'm not 100 sure if we can't show it um like the video

because it gets copyrighted so quickly. I want to like Photoshop in like a rope on the ball and like a helicopter flying away. Everybody else is trying to get away from the helicopter pulling this man into the sky. Is that allowed? I guess it is if it's a highlight. No, you can't fly them over stadiums.

Yeah, it's indoors as well. They probably rule against it. Are you asking about, can you block it? Isn't it called goalkeeping? Goaltending is when you block the ball and it's on its way down. So the whole time it's on the first half of the arc, it's okay to block. And then once it starts coming down towards the rim or net, it's not okay to touch anymore.

That's a good rule. Otherwise, you just have the biggest guy just to hand up through the the net with his hand in the middle of the net maybe just sit on it maybe just get up there oh yeah just another zero to zero game neither team can come up with we just how to get the seven foot seven guys hand out of the rim did we just fix basketball because i've always thought the problem was one that five guys is way too many to have on the court like for each team because they're gargantuan and this game was began in whatever indiana with a bunch of white boys in a peach basket i promise you

they didn't have like nine foot wingspans and i imagine they like made the court that size they imagine they made the court that size because they're like, teacher, how big should the court be? Well, we don't have that much room. Let's make it this size. I never thought of it, looked at it through that lens, but it seems like high school, college, and professional court should all expand along the way.

Like men's and women's do. Doesn't the three-point line do something? I know the three-point line changed. Okay, yeah. Between college and pro it does does i'm actually not sure what high school does isn't that weird that it does because it seems like like fuck i'd be making a just i don't know any other sport it seems like it'd be a huge adjustment if they were like like he went to go play hockey oh but but here the uh the goals are like a foot and a half smaller like like it's a much smaller goal

um oh here they're allowed to punch you in the face when you get near them so be aware of that too wait what like they just completely changed like how the game how you score in the game it's kind of here yeah they did kind of a money ball thing where they figured out that three point shots are super valuable now people are shooting them from not just right against that line which you'd think is super common they shoot them from what they call like the logo all over the place like they'll be six feet behind the three-point line and it's a smarter shot than trying to drive through traffic and get it in yeah i'm always fascinated with sports like the people who invented a move in a sport like i remember i read the guy's wikipedia page i don't know what his

name is but the guy who invented the jump shot in basketball where it's like it's like this was the first guy who jumped when he shot and it's like that feels so intuitive that you want to jump during it but like here's the guy to do that i have predicted falsely for a long time now that the lacrosse style goals in hockey would get more common. And they did you see that kid on Anaheim that like 19 year old Trevor Zegers assist? I didn't. He like, you know what the Michigan is where you put it on your stick and then you tuck it up. There's a guy who stood behind the net, put it on his stick and scored like from behind by taking his stick around and sort of tuck it up uh there's a guy who stood behind the net put it on his stick and scored like from behind by taking his stick around and sort of pulling it towards just used like some

centrifugal force to hold on to it and then from behind the net tucked it in over the goalie's shoulder if that makes sense to kyle i don't know what he knows what it is but that goalie's like learned quickly and it's the fucking nhl like it's a really number one it's a really embarrassing way to get scored on where like all your coach is going to be like, you're in the NHL, what are you doing? This kid figured out, the goalie fell for it. This kid was behind the net. The goalie went to block like it was a Michigan, but instead of that, he put it on his stick like it was going to be a Michigan

and then flipped it over the net, over the goalie's head, and his teammate hit it over the goalie like baseball style oh wow that's already it was like the assist of the year so far something it was crazy that so imagine i'm on skates trying to score on you but instead of using a stick like any normal person i just hold the puck in my hand what kinds of moves do you think i'd be doing right faking left faking right shaking my hand all over the place because it doesn't take any talent and hopefully i can get you out of position by like doing that now take someone with professional athlete talent why aren't they doing that why aren't they like lacrosse styling on extra point

shots or it just seems like they should be able to do that all the time really well. Yeah, it looks really, really cool, but I don't think it's the most efficient way to score. Even some kind of poo-pooing coach on an NHL analyst was like, you know, he could have stepped to the side of the net, passed it normally, and still scored there. And analyst was like, you know, he could have stepped to the side of the net, passed it normally and still scored there. And everyone's like, maybe, but would we be talking about it? That's a basketball mindset.

There are so many times like, oh, here in basketball, sometimes let's say that you're really good at dunking and I defend you unsuccessfully. I've been posterized. That's a really big deal. deal you know a lot of players will just not defend dunk it i'll step aside so that you don't embarrass me in my attempt to stop you wow and that's super duper common and it's it's dumb it's lebron got dunked on recently and a couple guys i respected were like you know i'll never give a guy a hard time for getting dunked

on it means he tried to play D. Yeah. You know, I just watched that clip of the hockey thing. The coolest part was how he picks up the puck, how I watched him put his stick on top of it and like mush it. So the stick sort of deforms. And then he does this little scoopy thing and he's just got it. And it's almost like it's almost like the stick is covered in fucking super glue. Yeah.

And he just went and stuck it to the stick before he flicked it up. I've tried to do that move. I'm pretty sure there's a glitch in the matrix for some people. Yeah. That's such a funny little test of skill thing. Because I remember every kid when we were 12, 13, 14, all they wanted to do was do that. And it got annoying playing goalie when they just like do that and try and throw it at you but like even

that is way harder than you think it is like you give like a normal guy like an hour and a stick and all the space he needs he's not getting it and he's gonna be over there like doing that thing where you have the stick flip the other way and he's like trying to tap the corner to get oh yeah yeah i know that thing it's like yeah that doesn. I know that thing. It's just, it's just, that doesn't, that's not game speed. Someone's going to go in your clock. If you try to do that,

someone's going to fuck you up. What can be game speed is if it's already like a knuckle ball, sometimes you can get your side of it. You're Carolina hurricanes. I've watched multiple of those, their games recently. They're tearing it up there. You mean the best team in the,

we are tearing it up. We are tearing it up. Yeah, it's the best team in the NHL. They're killing it. Yeah, they're my second favorite team. Every so often, they don't have the most points. For non-hockey fans, when you win, you get two points. If you lose in overtime, you get one point.

Those are the rules. So you'll look at their wins and overtime losses and figure out who the best team is, but they don't all have the same amount of games played so the hurricanes will have i don't know something like 50 games played or 50 points so maybe like 40 games played and someone else will have a few more points but three more games played and it looks like they're better but they're not even now carolina's on top and the two teams behind them both have four games or carolina has four games in hand on on both of them really so they have more points and four fewer games right now yeah well time i'm sorry wait let me rephrase that

so we have more points so we are a really good team right now yeah they're they're killing it it's it's fun to see teams that traditionally aren't like really good be really good team right now yeah they're they're killing it it's it's fun to see teams that traditionally aren't like really good be really good because it's right like how long can you watch carolina how long can you watch pittsburgh be good before it's like i i have like internal dislike almost towards the pittsburgh penguins and the edmonton oilers not directly or anything they're you know the blues don't get beat up by the Oilers. They tend to win those. It's just like who are the best players to ever play the game? Who got them? The Edmonton Oilers

get Wayne Gretzky in his prime. That should count for like 10 elite players. Didn't the Blues get Gretzky and Brett Hull? The Blues got... The Blues only had Brett Hull for like 800 games. He's the best Blue of all time. But Gretzky only played here for like 25 games like he barely played in St. Louis yeah so he kind of

showed up and then like he went point per game wow thanks Gretzky point per game there's a bunch of players elite players that do that we want three points a game out of you Gretzky but so yeah like Edmonton they got to enjoy Gretzky in his prime. And then Connor McDavid, like the next coming of Gretzky. But no one will ever be Gretzky again. But the first player who was in the draft where they're like, this guy might be better than Sidney Crosby. And he's like pacing to be as good, maybe even better than Sidney Crosby. Oilers get that guy. And they've enjoyed seven years of the best player on earth.

They might miss the playoffs this year with them. Then you got the Pittsburgh Penguins. Who do they get in the 90s? Mario Lemieux, the only player on earth who you could make a real case who he was just as good as Gretzky, if not for cancer and injuries. Then who do they get? Jaromir Jagr,

same time. Then who do they draft? There's conspiracy theories about this. They were like, oh, the Pittsburgh Penguins, they were doing terrible. Kyle, you don't know this. In the early 2000s, they were talking about relocating the Pittsburgh franchiseuins, they were doing terrible. Kyle, you don't know this. In the early 2000s, they were talking about relocating the Pittsburgh franchise. Oh, yeah.

And magically, Pittsburgh. Yeah, the Pittsburgh Penguins. Then magically, they get Evgeny Malkin, one of the best players ever. And then the following year, they get first overall draft pick Sidney Crosby. And suddenly, they're just a powerhouse for what the past 15 16 years it's just the same franchises get the best players over and over it's not fair like the blues never i guess we had brett hall but that's the closest to a superstar the blues have ever had not to say he wasn't the closest to his okay he was a superstar the fourth or fifth all-time goal scorer.

Who's the tall, blonde-haired defenseman? Didn't you guys have him, too? What a badass. Scott Stevens. That's Jersey. He played for Philly, too, for a while. Be strong, dude. He was a defenseman.

Oh, defenseman. Oh, Chris Pronger. That's who I'm looking for. Was he a Blue? Yeah, he was a Blue for a long time. He and Al McInnes. I'm bitching unduly because the Blues were actually very good in the 90s. They had a bunch of good players.

Yeah. That was like Chris Pronger was like. All we had was Gretzky, Brett Hall, and Chris Pronger. Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo. And then Al McInnes, the first guy to shoot over 105 miles an hour, I think, with a wooden stick, which is pretty impressive. But yeah, Chris Pronger was like the last guy who was able to play the way he did. We're like, you know how there's memory now of like, man, Scott Stevens, Chris Pronger, these guys, they hit so hard, but they played a rough game.

They would go to jail if they threw some of those hits in the modern NHL. Like, see, like they would go out there and like try and harm people overtly try and harm them like like what was your goal in hitting Solani like that well he scores a lot of goals and I was trying to put him in the hospital Chris Pronger was a handsome guy with a good smile too and he had blonde hair so he just I think that helped him not be the villain that he would have otherwise been thought of could be yeah there's i was watching uh this netflix or not netflix i'm sorry prime documentary called ice guardians stupid me i thought it was going to be following goalies and i'm like oh i haven't watched a goalie documentary in forever and of course it was about enforcers and fighters and it was

fucking weird it came out in 2016 and there's all these interviews was about enforcers and fighters and it was fucking weird it came out in 2016 and there's all these interviews of fighters who like od'd and killed themselves in like 2010 and 11 like there was like a spree there in the like 10 years ago where a bunch of them started offing themselves and like it it does a great job of demonstrating why fighting is needed in the game and how star players are actually safer like in a league where there's a bunch of fighting as opposed to like like they made a fair point and I

know Woody won't like this but there's never been a superstar ever who's gotten beat up and cheap shot at the way Sidney Crosby has there just hasn't because the Penguins don't have an enforcer it's not that era you know they filled their team with fast guys top to bottom and so you fuck with Cros what what's going to happen who's going to come at you nobody crosby should shoot the puck at people more often

he should i mean i to give up his due he's really good at shooting pucks he basically has a range weapon and everyone else has swords. That would be wild to see is someone with a shot like Crosby just get mad and be like, it slipped and it hit him in his eye socket. I know, dude. He'd do all that. Dude, that guy could pick off an eye socket one in four. You could fire a warning shot first.

You're like, hey, that was a good hit, but so is this. He could. You could. I'm sorry for going back to hockey. It's that fun time of the season. I'm enjoying tracking it. It's great. Blues are doing all right. As a member of the Hurricanes, it's been fantastic.

Yes. Yes, it has. It's a good year for bandwagon sports. Every year is a good year for bandwagon sports. As a member of the make-believe coaching staff, we're excited about the new year. It's all exciting. Oh, the Philadelphia Eagles are making the playoffs too.

Go Birds. Yeah, go Birds. It's good stuff. Did they barely eke in? They barely eked in, and I think they won. I'm going to look it up but i'm gonna guess they won four out of their last five to like turn it around they had a really weak strength of schedule for the end of the season they just lost 51 to 26 but it doesn't matter yeah as long as

they're in it's anyone's game or it's football a game with a lot of parody in the playoffs or not really no it tends to be that the better teams win in the playoffs all the time i guess it's football a game with a lot of parody in the playoffs or not really no it tends to be that the better teams win in the playoffs all the time i guess because it's one-off games like a lot less you know well no one-off games would mean more parity more variation yeah i'm right they won four out of their last five to make the playoffs more than that they won six out of their last eight to make the playoffs. That's strong. Yeah, but they're going to get their asses kicked. Is Tom Brady back in there?

I read that he's the MVP. I want to say the Bucs are tied for best record in the game, but they lost the tiebreaker. I'm right about that. Yeah, they're 13-4, but Packers have the tiebreaker, so they're not winning. Oh, they're not-4, but Packers have the tiebreakers, so they're not winning. Oh, they're not in the playoffs. Oh, that's a shame.

Wait, I didn't phrase that right. They're not home field all the way through because they lost the tiebreaker. Tom Brady doesn't care about that. He likes going over there so he can fuck their wives after. That does sound nice. Tom Brady hates playing at home. He has to go home and fuck his supermodel wife let's distract that one there's rooks in the league with 20 year old wives

dude i love that guy's dedication to just never lifting weights just like hey you want to pick up a weight he's like no they're like you can better he's like how do you know has anyone ever been better like a matter of fact matter of fact get my in my bag i don't need to be carrying that yeah he's like no my thing don't touch weights also no onions it's like all right well whatever he's on did you hear about that like he doesn't eat anything that's that's quote inflammatory so that that includes like garlic onions. Like his diet is apparently like tomatoes. Like he just doesn't eat half. I knew a guy that only ate happy food on Fridays.

And I was like, which foods are happy? But then when he explained them, you could kind of guess, right? Like what's happy? Well, strawberry smoothie is happy. Strawberries and melons and things like that in general are happy. Salsa? Angry. That's an angry food. But I heard it and I was like... That's the other six days of the week? It is kind of angry, salsa,

compared to a strawberry smoothie. Yeah. A banana's happy. Salsa's a very happy food. What does he mean? He doesn't like it? Salsa's like, it's got that salt in it and a little Salsa's like, it's got that salt in it. It's acidic.

Salsa's got some kick. I feel like salsa would bully somebody else. That's fair. It's not like salsa's bad for you, though. Salsa's a perfect dip to convince yourself that chips don't have calories. I'm not saying that salsa's, especially what I like, Pico

is bad for you, although salty it's just, it is a little angry it's got those onions in it and the salt in it and it's an angry food what are the sad foods? sad food ooh, something something boiled

potato soup hamburger helper oh, that's a sad food. No, no, no. What's a depressed food? Sour cream. A depressed food. Tuna helper.

Hot dogs and a piece of bread. Oh, hot dog and a piece of bread. And you don't have anything to put on the hot dogs? Not even a hot dog bun, huh? Yeah. And it's wheat bread. Ew! We

were super broke one night and I was like, what are we going to eat? Everybody's like, I don't know. I got a lot of minute rice and Taco Bell packets. Just a bunch of Uncle Ben's and fire sauce.

And we called it spicy rice and it was delicious just like they're stirred up yeah just like that prison chili that i thought was so fucking good at the time like i tried to make spicy rice when i was like 27 and spat it i spat it in the fucking trash have you had prison chili since you're free? Yeah, I bought a few bags of it whenever I got out. Also, not as good. It doesn't hold up. You got to be in prison. It doesn't hold up.

You need to be hungry and in a prison cell, and then it tastes wonderful. So if you want the best chili, get locked up. It's all about set and setting. Set and setting, yes. Acid and chili. Both the same. Yin and yang. What's another sad food?

Another depressed food? I was thinking something like boiled chicken. That would be sad. I can't decide where ice cream falls on the spectrum. That would be happy. It depends on the flavor. Birthday cake ice cream? That's a happy ice cream.

You've never had that when you were sad. Every time you ever had birthday cake ice cream? That's a happy ice cream. You've never had that when you were sad. Every time you ever had birthday cake ice cream, it was a good day. I've never had salsa. I'm not sad either. Oh, I've had sad salsa. Mexican girlfriend leaves you? And then you cry into your salsa? Well, she leaves all of her shit.

She had that stuff everywhere. It's racism. You have the most stereotypical Mexican girlfriend ever ever and get your fucking sauce out of here damn that guy's racist and you come out with a tub of you had a point hon she was making it everywhere we're not gonna eat all this fucking sauce stop making tomatoes listen to me it's uh it's an older movie but I didn't watch it until the other day but War Dogs

with Seth Rogen we already talked about this we talked about it in a discord call War Dogs has Jonah Hill you're right Jonah Hill the other fat Jew with curly hair the one who's a very good actor and not a bad actor

who's the one that he thought it was at first? Seth Rogen. I said Seth Rogen, but I know it's Jonah Hill. I like his work too. I like them both, but I thought the movie was great. It's tremendous. You've never seen it? No. Somehow I had always skipped it for one reason or another. Jonah Hill

steals the show. Dude, you don't think Jonah Hill was a little unbelievable as the unflappable badass sort of like no i liked him i thought he played a guy who whose primary skill set was being quick on his feet very well like and there were times where like that stopped being enough and he starts to kind of freak out but he freaks out by lashing out at everyone around him including i love remember when the drug deal the drug deal goes wrong and i so for yeah we're gonna thank you we're gonna spoil a touch of war dogs he goes and he's gonna buy drugs he's reuniting with an old friend who

doesn't know this sort of brave badass take no shit side of him and the drug dealers take the money but don't give the drugs he looks like someone you could easily take advantage of jonah hill pre-weight loss and sort of young and white and these guys are streetwise uh drug dealers and black or whatever so he walks back to his car opens the trunk takes out some fully auto machine guns and scares the hell out of the people that thought they were going to do all the scaring that day. And it's like, all right, all right, all right.

This is fun. But Jonah Hill, he's the scariest guy in this neighborhood. Anyone can be with a gun. Did I remember? Did I miss anything? He had a machine gun. Yeah, yeah.

He had a fully auto gun. Did I not say that properly? No, he was. He was walking around, spraying it in the parking lot, doing his like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He had a fully auto gun. Did I not say that? No, he was. He was walking around, spraying it in the parking lot, doing his like... I love that laugh so much. I know. I really like that laugh. That laugh might have been my favorite part of the movie.

That and the smuggler Marlboro. Oh, yeah. 50-50. They're talking about what their survival rate's going to be like. No, he doesn't understand english man he doesn't know they're like yeah what's our chances of getting there's oh very good 50 50 he's like what what he's like 50 50 he's like yeah that's why we go at night he's like oh okay so so what are our chances at night 50 50 oh no death to deliver i'm'm writing that movie with the Nick Cage one a little bit

the Nick Cage one is the one where they had to like repackage all that ammo they have to do that in War Dogs you're thinking of is it Dogs of War? what is it? what's the other one? I hope it's Dogs of War because that's a forgivable conflation in my head

and I think it's the same thing for some reason I can't even think of the name of that one now it's Dogs of War because that's a forgivable conflation in my head. I think it's the same thing. For some reason, I can't even think of the name of that one now. It's Warlord. Warlord, yeah. Or Lord of War because the African guy. That's way worse than War Dogs. Is it?

I dug that movie a lot. I really liked the whole part where they went to Albania and just seeing them interact was... Do you watch these things? Well, maybe not you in your position, but I wonder if I could make some money doing this. Apparently they have government contracts. Like, hey, can someone find this many guns? And then they buy them for stupid prices

it looked like like ebay in reverse you know where people put bids and then you just have to fulfill them that i think that's the deal i think there are still a lot of government contracts that are like that and everything they said there was true right i think the deal was that cheney had given all those contracts to halliburton, and then Bush had to come and do that thing where it's like, oh, actually, we're accepting bids from anyone and everyone. Like, going to the lowest bidder. And so now, like, Joe Schmo could be like, I mean, I've got 50 night vision goggles.

They're brand new in the box. Like, I'm sourcing them from blah, blah, blah. They're giving me a rate. I can get them to you and to Crete for $8 million. And if you're under, you know, if $8 million was the lowest, then you got to fill that contract. They didn't care that you're Woody's Gamer Tag. They just want their night vision goggles or whatever.

They made it look like there was money to be made there if you were morally flexible. Or just, I don't think you had to be morally flexible. They just had to do their fucking job. They decided to be made there if you were morally flexible. Or just, I don't think you had to be morally flexible. They just had to do their fucking job. They decided to be morally flexible. They could have stopped and been businessmen and millionaires. I guess, yeah, I don't know.

The whole idea of just supplying weaponry to a war at all, to me, requires a little bit of moral flexibility. But you do that when you pay taxes. That is true. But you probably see my point at least a little bit. I do. You're not directly involved.

You're putting guns into a war zone. Yeah. You're not shooting them. Well, they need the guns. Right, because whoever gets my guns is probably the good guy. No, both sides get my guns. That way. That way you're morally. What, do I want competition here? You want to supply both sides get my guns. That way you're morally...

What, do I want competition here? You want to supply both sides. Yeah. Well, you see the challenge. I wouldn't have any qualms about that. They're getting the weapons one way or another. Someone might as well sell them as cheap. I mean, if you can sell them cheaper than someone else,

that means that you're saving those people money. So you're the good guy here. They're going to have guns one way or another. You might as well get them to them cheaply so they can have more bullets. Mm hmm. I mean, or bandages or whatever checks out. I think that is a great movie.

I think I like Jonah Hill. It might be one of my favorite actors. Like everything he's in, all the dramas he's in, he's he just kills it. Wolf of Wall Street, like his teeth in that. It dramas he's in, he just kills it. Wolf of Wall Street, his teeth in that, it's so funny.

I think he's going to be a really good actor. I think his best movies are still ahead of him. Are we talking about DiCaprio or Jonah Hill? No, Jonah Hill. I think DiCaprio might be done. Not done, but I think his best movies might be behind him. I don't know. He's made some great movies.

He has made some great movies I like new DiCaprio because he doesn't have to be good looking anymore like I feel like that used to be almost a restriction like he was a leading man and part of what he did was I don't know hero shit now I want to see him

do Jack Nicholson type roles and see what's next yeah they look so much alike have you seen see him do Jack Nicholson type roles and see what's next. Yeah, they look so much alike. Have you seen him do his Jack Nicholson impression? No, I didn't know. They do look similar in the face. I never noticed that. I thought you might be mocking me

the first time you said it. I have not seen that. No, I thought you picked Jack Nicholson because they're like... Jack Nicholson might be Leonardo DiCaprio's father. jack nicholson because like they're like one jack nicholson might be leonardo dicaprio's father jack nicholson to me is an actor who had a pretty good career in his 40s and 50s and he it wasn't based on his good looks like most of hollywood yeah he's just a tremendous actor yeah one time it was but he transitioned to a point where what's the one where he played this is gonna be a tough one if you can get it.

As Good As It Gets, maybe? He kept bacon in his pocket to make the dog like him. Helen Hunt, Cuba Gooding Jr., Craig Kinnear. Helen Hunt really, really wanted this dog to like her. The dog liked Jack Nicholson more. If I have this right,

throughout the whole movie, at one point it really bothered her. he let he's like you want the secret i've had bacon in my pocket this whole time and he pulls it out and he's had like bacon and sausage and shit like that that's why the dog liked him through the whole movie but it wasn't wait but it wasn't he was trying to he was trying to tell him that the bacon was the reason because now the dog had chosen Jack Nicholson over its master, Craig Kinnear, because it liked him more because he was a better guy. He was more fun to be around. And so he's like, here, take the bacon. You'll see.

And he gives the bacon to the dog's former owner. But the dog still just wants Jack Nicholson. And Jack Nicholson is like, no, no, no. Go to the bacon. Go to the bacon. Go to the bacon. I remember that. Is this a movie just about getting a dog to like you?

I've never seen as good as it gets. First of all, as good as it gets is a five star fucking movie. It's excellent. It's about a lot of different things. You should definitely watch it. I think it might be on Netflix. Jack Nicholson has obsessive compulsive disorder. Helen Hunt is a waitress with

a very ill son and Craig Kinnear is a man who just has been gay bastards trying to recover from that. A lot of spoilers I just gave you, but the movie is 20 fucking years old. Watch it. It's good, yeah. If I remember right, Nicholson and Helen Hunt have some sort of burgeoning romance, but he's not very good

socially, so you get to see someone who is and isn't good socially. It's a good movie. I enjoyed it. Anyway, the reason I picked it out of a freaking hat like that is he was a leading man in that movie and he was not a handsome man, really. I mean, he looked fine

for 50-something, but it wasn't a cruise role. Yeah. I think he's fully retired now, isn't he? Jack Nicholson? I haven't seen him in a bit. I don't remember the last thing I saw. He's 84?

Yeah. I knew that he would be getting... I didn't see 84 coming. Yeah. I think... Yeah, it looks like he's been done for a while. I didn't even realize. I remember him in The Departed,

and I'm having a hard time remembering anything after The Departed. Yeah, The Departed, and then he did The Bucket List and How Do You Know in 2010 and he hasn't acted since 2010. Did you see him hit on Jennifer Lawrence? Yeah, it was funny. He did a great job at it. You look like an old girlfriend of mine.

And she's like, do I look like a new one? He's like, I've thought about it. He hit it back too they were good he walks away and the interviewer is like do you know him she's like no but she knew he was jack nicholson yeah she's like she's like blown away she just got to mean that jack nicholson yeah sometimes it's easy to forget that these actors and actresses, like the top ones, have a lot of charisma

and talent. I've never seen Jennifer Lawrence sing, but I bet she can. I bet she can. I bet she went to some sort of actor school and learned to sing. Not quite like Whitney Houston or whoever, but better than every other mom. We were playing Tarkov last night

and someone linked an old twitch clip of you playing tarkov and it's when you're going for the key spawn in the in the back of the the suv remember that thing oh yeah it's we're i had never seen that before and and to like see it for the first time it was just like oh no i checked that key spawn like 400 times and every time i went there i'd say the same thing here's where we check the key spawn and nothing's there and it was it was for the first time ever and i think just as i'm putting it in my inventory i get murdered yeah like you don't even i don't even think you could go and they shoot you in the head and you're just like no no i've never had that like it's so tarkov though isn't it yeah i've always been able to get the item that i'm like looking at

into my gamma that's never happened to me because that that would really suck to like not be able to get the especially before um it mattered about found in raid but uh like we could all relate to that one that one was rough i had a key I found a key like that the other day. I always say it like, and I'm going to check the locker for the key. And it's, oh, shit. It's a red key, huh? I never knew. I just knew that there was supposed to be.

No, not the card, but like the West Wing key. For people that don't know, a red key is pretty good. But a red key card, which is what was in my head, is extremely good. Yeah, I can retire then. Yeah, it's worth so much money that it'll change your Tarkov life. That's a good way to put it. A lot of Tarkov is like this grind. You kind of have to go to work every day.

When you find a red card, you can kind of retire. You can just retire and play the game and be silly from now on. Yeah, yeah. Pretty much, yeah. I think they're 40 million right now. You have 40 million now? No, no, they are. Oh, they are.

The last time I looked at a red card, it said 40 million. It's funny. Usually, my happy space while I was still doing things would be around 1 to 3 million rubles, maybe closer to 3. If I have 6 or 10, that implies everything else is done the hideout's finished i have you know the cases i want and stuff like that yeah i think i've got like two because like you said like every time i get more than two it's time to give the game one or two million of it right back um it's been it's been a really fun time we've been playing maybe even

too much like like i'm just like going to the gym playing tarkov and eating and sleeping and uh like people are people are tech my dad my dad sent me a text message that says i need to hear your voice so i know it's really you like because it's been so long since i've called it how's it going good so you got you got a little more hardcore i guess near the first i don't know if it was literally the first yeah yeah so you got you got a little more hardcore i guess near the first i don't know if it was literally the first yeah yeah just you know change the uh workout program a little bit and i added some more volume and then i've added a lot of calories yeah your volume is really a lot like you do you do sets of 20 yeah i've been doing sets of 20 and uh i've been trying

to adjust the weight to that like i'm still figuring out exactly how much weight I need to fail around. It's a range obviously, but to fail in the last three quarters of that 20 set on the last one. You want to fail between 15 and 20 kind of set? Yeah. Well, I want to

fail between 15 and 20 on the third set if I can. Sometimes I fail on the second set too. can um so i'm still working on my second set too it's a lot of work and we'll see if i can even recover fast enough to keep that up but i mean the worst thing that's going to happen is i'm going to get real sore and strong like oh no no right i got strong as fuck shit i'm going to get big like three by 20 i i've had in my head you're going to do five by 20 or something i was doing i did 4 by 20 on a couple of things but it's stuff that you would think like oh yeah i could do a few more of those like

like like um the peck deck and oh yeah like it's it's not like i'm adding like i'm not adding like yeah i'm not doing like a four an extra set of like pull-ups or you're not doing 5 by 20 you know weighted dips. No, no. No, I'm having to take weight off for some things. Well, everything, weight had to come off. It's been fun. But it seems a lot less dangerous, for one thing. It just takes long as fuck.

I've cooled off on the pull-ups. I'm just doing 36 now. I have been doing the last set to failure, but I kind of have an overuse injury in my elbow. So we're chilling. I want you to talk to Derek about those little things that bother you because I feel like they're holding you back

from becoming the alpha male that you can truly become. I feel like we could be like a WWE team. We could all think on personas. I do like the sound of that. I need a minute to come back with my persona. If you don't have a boa,

I don't want to see it. Kyle's the Fuhrer. Who's stepping into the ring? He's a heel. Everybody boos. Did you know that Chael Sonnen would talk to professional wrestlers to get advice on what to say no that's brilliant yeah they're the experts he was friends with rowdy roddy piper who wouldn't give him lines but he would give him like um i don't know he would read the situation and you know you know why this is how this is going to evolve. This is how I see you. You should play this. And he talked to Stone Cold

Steve Austin, who would straight up give him lines to say, and he would repeat them. I didn't know that. I knew that he talked about wrestling a lot, but he wasn't like a huge wrestling fan. He just knew about it. But that's why he had wrestling friends.

Those guys would be real good at like i think it was kyle who told me there was some of those guys like it's not like they had scripts they were memorizing the night before it was like hey jake the snake you're mad at andre it's like okay about what just you're on go andre you're a fucking bastard for sleeping with and it's just like it's it's really creative it's fun it's just improvving it's jacked guys improvving i think that vince mcmahon's main two areas of expertise are coming up with the narrative like he is the producer and writer of a soap opera that debuts every week it really is and it's a live show that and ripping fighters off i think he's those are his two main areas

of expertise like i don't know how the rock got away with being the rock without sending vince mcmahon every time a check every time he says the rock about himself. Like, I don't know how he managed that. I don't remember how that happened because like he owns all those people. Vince McMahon is 76 years old. I wonder how much longer is he going to live? He's one of those, like he looks tremendous for his age, set late seventies guys.

He looks so good. I wonder like, does this extend his life or shorten it? It probably shortens it. I know he's on steroids. He's got it. I don't know if you remember. I've never followed wrestling, but

I would see it and take note every now and then and notice they're doing a different thing these days. They've got a whole new theme going on. And I remember there was one point where Vince McMahon was jacked and in the ring a lot. He was really big, way too big to be natural. He exploded over the course of a year,

clearly on a steroid cycle. Zach, can you find a picture of Zach? I just linked an article that has some photos of him at 75 in the gym. Yeah, this guy is not natural. He's tremendous. Look at this fuck. Oh, yeah. He looks amazing for 70.

Can you do the one where he's doing the quad workouts in the seat down a little bit? That looks good, but this is the one. Look at that. Look at his arms. Look at his shoulders. Look at his legs. That man's got a lot of tea for a 75-year-old. Look at the size of his trainer.

McMahon knows he has to finish this set. His trainer doesn't look all that natural either. No, he doesn't. He's got Derek delts. Vince just said, can I quit? And that guy said, absolutely not. And he's coming to terms with the fact he's got to do another set right now.

That's kind of enormous. He looks like a, he doesn't, what a fucking huge person. Yeah. Looks like an extra in the Sopranos. I don't even know what you're talking about. I bet Vince McMahon's taller. The giant guy behind him?

The gigantic man. With those arms? I picture the gigantic man with those giant arms to be five seven because a lot of times it goes like that well if we have to look up how tall is this kind of cybex machine like like 4chan would triangulating the placement of doorknobs on people's doors dude have you seen the new thing i guess there's an anti-vax leader of some sort who said that drinking urine will protect you from covid who said this well i don't think it is well it's true that he said it and now the internet is going bonkers about it there is it true that people believed it and drank urine i believe he has a small following the way that i read the situation was that

like this guy is some leader of a movement that no one follows he said something really dumb and now the left is like he's your leader this is your guy this represents your side they both do that type of thing but um yeah uh so now it's the left is having fun pretending that the whole right believes that urine will be this. This guy would be way better if his whole point was that it's not urine. It's my urine. And you have to buy it online like I'm a gamer girl. Anti-vaccine leader to tell supporters to drink urine to treat covid so i guess it's not a vaccine it's a treatment oh um that could work christopher key you gotta drink this well any piss do that can't be this has got to vary wildly

depending on what you're drinking key who, who was recently released from jail, told followers of his group, the antidote we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy. Okay, I know a lot of you do this sounds crazy, but guys, God's given us everything we need. Oh, no, not God. Yeah, so the leader of, what was it again? The cult. the vaccine police says now now it's now that sounds like something he made up i can't imagine this is uh

this is a government office he's somehow filling the vpd no they're a big deal piss drinker who came out and was it the cdc no someone has said uh there are no health benefits to drinking your own urine and in fact it could be quite detrimental every time you put it back it will come out again even more concentrated and that's not good of your health it could damage the gut said handrew helen andrews of the british dietetic association if you are stranded your body will try to conserve as much water as you can. Drinking urine would be like drinking seawater, except less tasty.

So then what is, what is with like the survival kind of Bear Grylls thing? Because for years he was saying like, oh, I need to keep the moisture in me. I'm going to drink my own piss. Like I think he might be working on ratings and not health. That bastard.

Remember when that was like a big thing where they're like, he's actually staying at hotels. And it was like, yeah, yeah, he is like now that, yeah, he was now they're pumping,

pimping Viagra as a COVID cure to which like, why would that help. Here's a probably doesn't, it probably doesn't at all, but we have a disease where the problem is your blood oxygen level. And the problem is when you breathe it in, I think your lungs don't get the oxygen into your blood like it should. So would something that improves the, did I say lungs into your blood like it should so would something that improves the

did i say lungs into your lungs don't get oxygen into your blood like i didn't say that right so something that includes the way that your blood flows like a vasodilator could it have a positive impact that's where my head went i i have no idea i know they use vasodilators for a bunch of stuff but i i know that trash turns into stars. This could be a trash stars situation. I mean, I would imagine if you're hard, you're just in a better mood.

It's like, oh, I got a headache and I feel sick, but God, I'm hard. Yeah. Can't keep me down. Can you hand me my phone? I gotta take a picture. And it's meant to be a COVID treatment. Where did this come from?

Viagra? I heard it on Tucker Carlson's show. Oh my god! It came from whoever owns Viagra. This is like that one time I brought you guys a news story about someone had seen a leprechaun and it seemed plausible for like three seconds and then Taylor went to the website and the next

article was about the Loch Ness Monster and the one after that was Bigfoot. Yeah, it was a good site. And all the hits, all the classics, right there on the front page. Yeah, Tucker Carlson, I saw it with my own eyes, is saying that Viagra

cures COVID. Viagra sponsors the Tucker Carlson show. saying that Viagra cures COVID. Now, if you were going to do Viagra sponsors the Tucker Carlson show. Yeah, Viagra probably sponsors all of those Boomer shows. You'd think Viagra and Cialis would be all over Fox. Anyone who's watching television

news is dick pill diapers. I'm going to ask you to pause right there because I'm feeling personally attacked if you watch the news on TV you probably need dick pills it's like the you might need dick pills

remember the comedy tour Jeff Foxworthy I remember not thinking he was very funny even at the time when I was a very young kid watching I thought that the guy Ron White Ron White was the funniest

and Larry the Cable Guy I mean when I was 14 he was hilarious so I didn't like his extended routine but I am guilty of saying get her down a good 250 times i mean that guy he's just love that he's a buttoned up normal human being in real life and he's like yes that's a bit of a character i appreciate it makes the money doesn't it

every so often look at those yokels laughing up every so often i see a british actor who plays an american character and it shocks me uh house do you know lowry yeah yeah he killed you lowry when i see him in interviews and such i'm like oh my god i'm american his american accent is flawless i've never noticed a mistake never when i do an australian accent they immediately tell me how it's not an Australian accent at all. I remember thinking that Hugh Laurie was like joking when I first saw like an interview of him after having watched House where he's like,

oh, season six was a dreadful show. We were tired of it. And I'm like, why is he pretending to be? And then it's like, oh, no, he's been pretending to be. He's probably not even really an opium addict this probably probably don't you feel a little betrayed though you're like oh i thought it was one of us exactly oh my gosh yeah i was happy to have him on our team yeah and then he's at the opposing team's jersey on yeah yeah i like it yeah and i mean if you're gonna pretend

to be a drug addict or an alcoholic in a show you should have to be a real one just like a like ewan mcgregor he should have really had to withdraw from from heroin in train spotting yeah how old is that movie that i've i've i don't think i'll ever watch that movie again it is so depressing it's been a while i don't think I'll ever watch that movie again. It is so depressing. It's been a while. I don't remember it that well. I remember liking it. That's as far as I go. I remember a really dirty toilet. Ewan McGregor is a great actor and everything. 1996. When were you born?

I was a cool five-year-old. I don't think your parents should have let you watch Trainspotting. No wonder it had such an impact on you. This is upsetting me. But you said you were tired of My Little Pony.

Do you guys remember what the first movie was that you saw that you were too young to watch as it was happening in front of you? Yeah, Hellraiser Bloodline. That's a pretty brutal one. That's the second one, right? Where they abandoned all pretensive plot and it's all violence. No, it's like the third or fourth one.

It's the one where I don't want to go too nitty gritty into like production stuff. But it takes place in three separate timelines. The past, the present, and the future. And they go to space in the future. Mine is a good one people won't know it because it's super old or maybe because blue lagoon blue lagoon had brook shield in it she was a child actress the plot of the movie is that she and i think her brother but i'm not sure about the brother part was there they not i hope i hope they're not related

i'm not sure if they were brother and sister or not. Anyway, they're both kids. They're like 11 years old or something. And they get stranded on an island. Their boat sinks in there, but it's right near the island. So they're there by themselves and they have to figure out how to survive. Anyway, she gets her first period in this movie. She observes this dude masturbating and what happens at the end. And then they fuck and they have a kid and she

never passes like 13 in this whole film and the actress is underage too and I was probably 8 when I saw it or something underage nudity yeah Brooke Shields is kind of

famous for that I guess like so she's one of those girls that at 14 looked 21. So at 14 she played like 21-year-old parts. Oh, okay. I've never seen Blue look 21. It doesn't make it right, but it does explain how it happened a little. Also, it was like the... It also

explains my Blu-ray collection. It's all the same movie. It's just Brooke Shields. She's got her own self. These are the casting videos. Who would be VHS? I'm like... It holds out like a laser disc.

No, it's real. It's real. So these are cast... This is a cruder film. He pulls out a Betamax. It's so cherished. Now, they couldn't have done real nudity because she's underage.

No, they did. She was in Playboy, I think, underaged or something. Is that right, Kyle? Does that sound right to you? Yeah, that's accurate. You can look up Brooke Shields Playboy right now and you should be on an FBI watch list. Even like, this was 1980. Like, not that long

ago in the scheme of things. And they and they're like man this girl's hot put a pussy on the screen how old is she who cares put her in the hustler you're not far off at all i i think you do see bush but i think it might be uh i can't merkin merkin i almost called it a munchkin oh thank god otherwise that's inappropriate, I think she had a... This is the best job in Hollywood. If they put a munchkin on her pussy. The law was not passed during the time of the photos that Brooke were taken, so technically they were legal during the time period.

Note, the law was ratified in 1977. Photos were taken before 1977. Please read the legal document before trying to debate me. Zach, a little sassy, but okay. I imagine he pasted that from somewhere, from someone sassy. It's not his style, but it's funny.

There's just some guy on a Blue Lagoon message board like, and another reason it's not child pornography. That law was passed three months later. You look at his post history. All he does is defend child pornography that has been grandfathered in across the world.

That's all he does. Little Misha was born in 1957, so this is legal. What they don't tell you is Brooke Shields is a 900-year-old vampire. And so it was okay. Brooke Shields was hot when she was 18, and she's hot now. Well played. Yeah, Brooke Shields. Christy Brinkley is the other one that just aged outrageously well.

She's beautiful and over 60, I think. And what's her name that was in Jennifer Aniston? She has aged well, but I was thinking of the brunette that was in the remake of the train movie, the Snowpiercer thing.

Oh, wait. The TV show, Taylor, that we were watching. What's the brunette's name in that? she's a famous actress like she jennifer connelly jennifer connelly well too yeah andrew bullock has aged pretty well too she has yeah for sure i wonder what plastic surgery they had they all like everyone looks at plastic surgery and they see the negative ones okay i get that but i believe we're pulling out some positive examples and we just don't, we think they aged well. I also think that they do that like CGI,

deep brain thinking computer evil on, on like T on like characters now or actors now. So they just look better. I like, I'm not sure if you can believe anything you see on the screen anymore. If it's not like with your own eyes because i think they're just like cgi people to look like they did eight years ago so they can keep having the same roles so zach says christy brinkley doesn't look good anymore that i might be off on that one well she's got to be

like 70 dude she posted those pictures in the 70s So she looks really good in the ones I'm seeing, but a lot of them look like they're not Candace. So I don't want to. She looks like a jack-o'-lantern in this one. She's got, yeah. Yeah, she's definitely had work done there. Lips look dry. It's still the thing I always point to.

Like, I would compare her to the alternative universe that never had any work. It might be better. Yeah. Yeah. I get that there's something a little inhuman. I bet if you punched her, something would fall off. Yeah.

Probably one of those lips. Yeah, I think one of those cheeks would just pop out like a Mr. Potato had and come off. You know when the inside upper part of your lip is really dry, like you wake up and you have to peel it off sometimes. Yeah, that's what her upper lip looks like.

It's not covering enough of her teeth. It's not. There's a lot of teeth. There's something wrong with the area between her nose and upper lip. What's that called? Is that a... Frenulum? No, philtrum.

So I do that too. What's the underside of your penis call that's a frenulum yeah yeah yeah yeah philtrum is the is the lip is the um yeah what is that thing that i can spot really well that pre-alcohol fetal alcohol syndrome yeah that's your superpower night it is it's one of my superpowers i I can spot... I see you in someone's car like, oh, your mom drank during pregnancy. That person has a small head. I think I know the reason. Your smooth frenulum.

Your smooth frenulum. I can feel it with my tongue. Hold on. No, like... There's not as much of a divot. Oh, my God. I said it wrong. Oh.

I didn't even catch it there you go that's good can you show this one and then zoom in on it you'll see this picture and I bet you'll know like someone in your life or like mirror mirror

you'll be like ah I do know this face a little bit like that um smooth philtrum oh i guess spelled ph who knew thin upper lip short nose like this is a small head low nasal bridge you've probably seen underdeveloped jaw like i spot these faces in a crowd this is my superpower yeah yeah i wonder how many you need to combine before it counts as a hit i like the small eye openings part yes i wish they would use like outdated like like like like like take take all that text off the screen but i want i want to add new things there that mean the same things, but are incredibly outdated. There's just one additional line. It's like

general ugliness. Jew eyes! Jew eyes. Get back to me in a week. I'm going to have some fun with this picture. A Semitic smile. I need to print out like 80 of those. Have some fun with this. It semitic smile yeah i need to print out like 80 of those have some fun with this it'd be like a new game first um well that was a lot of fun

i'm gonna go eat some dinner um my sleep schedule is fucking ruined by this tarkov shit man i'm level 32 i think now like it's it's it's um it's been a real grind but uh having a great time it's so much fucking fun i I can't stop playing. Good. You going to play some more tonight or are you just going to go to bed? I'm going to go play right now. I'm going to go play right now. Let me go to bed. I just woke up.

My alarm went off at 5.30pm. I didn't want to get up. I looked at you. I saw that you guys had a grief. I'm sorry we woke you up so early for a 6pm.m. show. It's literally reversed. My a.m. and p.m. are

reversed. The 6 is kind of early, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Crack of night of dusk. The crack of night. I like it. I get to see the sun as it sets. Would you guys, all jokes aside.

Maybe not all jokes. Would you want to be a vampire? I would want to be a vampire. I would do that. It seems like the pros outweigh the cons. For sure. Which specific kind of vampire? What is your backstory and lore if you're a vampiric now?

Do you get so bloodthirsty that you could eat a kid? Or are you slick and cool about it and you just get laid and bite hot chicks? Wherever the day takes me. That's what I'm doing. I guess I thought

true blood rules. Oh, okay. Okay. So if we're starving to death, we could get a little crazy. Yeah, yeah like by and large you can buy the blood you need at a store and keep everything chill but if it really comes down to it you can murder somebody oh i'm not drinking that bottle of blood you are amazingly good at sex that sounds pretty cool like to the point where once a woman is with you she's never

satisfied by a regular human again we're talking about the differences woody all right um that is i it would be pretty cool phrase this i i have thought to myself that when a woman comes to kyle she is not looking for the virgin experience she is looking for a man who is an expert at his craft, right? She's not expecting him to you know, no, no, no, no. That's not what you get when you come to Kyle's place.

When you see the swing in place and he pulls out his chest of toys. None of this is accurate. There's a longer wooing. There's no chest of toys. There was no soup. This is a man

who is an expert in his craft. And when you get there, you leave with expanded horizons. I don't know what any of this is. I've made all of them. It's PKN. No one will hear it. PKN 386.

Yeah.