Painkiller Already - PKN 393

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

pkn 393 kyle has been addicted to news and ukraine data oh man i've been so absorbed in it you know i i've got my laptop stuff i'm on the couch you know and i've got my laptop next to me open to combat footage and the ukraine conflict those two subreddits are really good and then on my TV, I'm switching back and forth between like Sky News, German news, BBC, Al Jazeera, CNN. And like I'm trying to get like every take on it because this is one of those wars where it's difficult to get the truth. Right. And you do get some more truth out of Al Jazeera and and the Germans that maybe CNN wouldn't want to say. Specifically, they were talking about the sanctions um and and the swift thing and they were and i remember i was listening to indian news um which is in english for some reason oh that's nice and and and she was like and this indian woman explained that it's like yeah here in india we buy all a lot of our arms from russia so

you know we need arms so we'll keep buying them from russia and also india does you say yeah india i didn't expect that okay firearms i guess that's what the indian woman told me on the news i believe you i just know that we're i believe her that's my thing i trust her i don't believe me believe the indian woman on the tv she. She's responsible if they don't buy a single Russian gun. She's just a dirty Indian liar. More like her feathered friends over in North America than I've been led to believe. Oh no, they're completely different.

Liars. One and the same. Don't trust them. So that and I want to know more about Swift. From what I understand, it is not how transactions are done. It is how transactions are sort of verified. It's the thing where a message comes through before like, hey, we're about to do this transaction. Here's the transaction. Can you verify it? It verifies it and then says, yeah, we got it.

Everything's all good. It's sort of the messenger app of like the banking world is like the best it's been explained to me okay seems like that seems like that's going to affect smaller transactions and the multitude of transactions more so than if someone wanted to do one big thing but um but yeah that's that stuff's been super damaging on russia what's what is what does it mean if if russia gets of Swift? They can't? Their banks are going bankrupt. Their bank banks are not going to be bank banks for very much longer. And it's been a couple of days.

And they've had their market closed. They haven't opened their market for trading. Because all of the companies are going to... Stock market. Yeah. All of their companies are just going to drop into the bucket as soon as they do. Because no one is going to do business with their companies. FedEx and UPS aren't shipping packages in or out anymore.

I can't imagine what that does to manufacturing and business and just someone who wants a PlayStation tomorrow. Yeah, that's hard on its own. Yeah, I think those things are really important to strike it like the average Russian because everything I keep hearing is that they don't know what the fuck's happening. Like they have no idea. So maybe if like you can't get your PlayStation delivered, you like find a VPN somewhere and get on Al Jazeera or Google or whatever the fuck. And you realize that like there's a war happening. Dude, the 40 mile long convoy is interesting to me because it look i don't know what i'm talking about but here we go

russia attacked ukraine with its left hand right like like it it went light on them they were hoping they'd be greeted as liberators and they'd just welcome them into the russian umbrella and it'd be fun that hasn't happened go fuck yourself has become a like a the ukrainian motto all right so they're fighting back russia starts rolling in with a 40 mile long convoy and everybody knows about it everybody cnn knows about it there's a certain level of we think we own this landscape to put all their eggs in one basket like that and i guess it's true right part of me is like can america like okay okay look we don't want to be involved i get it i get it i get it can we just have some of those what are they a10 warthogs along the 40 mile convoy for just one time i

think it would make a really big difference. Or some drones. Yeah. The big difference would be we'd be involved in nuclear war with Russia. Yeah. One nuclear war. Yes. We just need to have a limit.

No more than one, guys. Come on. No, I keep seeing the convoy they keep talking about. And I don't see updated photographs. I see one photograph they took of a 40 mile convoy three days ago. And my guess is that that thing's been taking a lot of fire and it's split up and it's maybe parts of it are still moving or they're trying to encircle Kiev. But I know they've got this Turkish drones because I've been watching all that drone footage. Those things seem to be real effective against convoys. I don't know if they've got some sort of electronic interference running

around that convoy to prevent the use of those drones or why they're not being used. Wait, so Turkey is sending attack drones? Turkey sold them drones years ago. Oh, sold them drones. We didn't like that very much. We complained about that. We were like, I don't know if they need those.

Turns out they really need them. Yeah, yeah. But this is a fascinating thing. I think this is one of the bigger things that's happened in my lifetime. I think that the tsunami when I was like 16 is something that we don't even talk about anymore. And I bet that like people who are listening to this, if you're like 20 right now, you're like, what tsunami? There was a tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people when I was a kid and like we don't even talk about that shit anymore like it you know that that thing was insane that's i think that's the craziest thing the rarest thing the biggest

news story that's happened since i've been alive i would think that's probably the biggest mass casualty event it has to be yeah it has to be i mean a million people died in the iraq war but it took them a decade to die like this thing happened in like the course of a week and like hundred thousand plus people died that that week it was insane i remember the videos from that like like not realizing how dangerous like shallow fast flowing water was yeah and then just seeing it like oh i thought trees were tough like and it just just rips a tree out moves cars but i think this is really comparable like like like i don't really understand

and i what i've what i've noticed it doesn't matter what i understand what i've noticed from like the people who seem seemingly should understand is that everybody's like we don't know why he did this or what he thought was going to happen. We don't know what he was thinking. Like, he started another, like, he's trying to, like, rejuvenate the USSR. And all he's done is, like, united everyone in the West against him. Like, so thoroughly. Like, never before. Like, never before. When you see those, like, Finland and Sweden and what's that third country?

Switzerland or whatever, like countries like that, that keep their nose out of like the world's nonsense and just stockpile their money. They're sending weapons and money. You know, I saw that which of them has that like largest private fund in the world, that trillion dollar fund that they that that company of them has that like largest private fund in the world that trillion dollar fund that they that they uh that that company had that that country has they divested all their money from russia like every time i hear about a major company the cool thing to do it sounds like a switzerland thing to do i don't know the cool thing to do right now is to like throw out your russian shit and stop doing business with russians it's vladimir putin's black belt in Taekwondo has been

revoked. And judo. Yeah. He's defenseless! I would love to see, like, he goes in for his morning practice, and he just goes, like, eh. And he's like, what was, what, he's, eh. He loses his powers.

How great would it be, if, like if some old ninja showed up at Red Square and wanted the Kremlin rather and was like, I actually want the belt, sir. I'm going to need the belt back. I want that to happen. I want the repossession of the belt.

He's looking so isolated. And look, even when he can frame the camera, he still chooses to appear isolated for some reason. Like whenever I see him sitting at that table and shit. Yeah. Everybody keeps pointing at the long table and I don't blame him because it's odd. Like I even saw how the Belarusian dictator talks to his two guys.

He's behind his desk and there's like a little kid's desk like attached to it. And the chairs there point at each other, not at him. And he addresses them. But they're like he could lean over and touch him. You know, he can lean over his desk and he could like slap one if he needed to. Putin is far enough away that they can't like strike him or anything. Like if they started like running at him, he'd have time to hit him with the gas or something. He's like Dr. Evil sitting at that long table.

You can't have normal conversations at that distance. Like you have to talk a little loud like no no no the point is like you can only have conversations where them hearing you doesn't even fucking matter they're just there to sit there it doesn't matter if they hear anything but unfortunately the guy that sits closest to him who's like maybe i don't remember his title you know the russians have weird titles like like you'll be the the master of state secrets i think that's actually a title somewhere. That's so cool. Yeah, I know, right? God, I want to be the master of state secrets. That's a good one. Anything's pretty good.

I like that. But Putin started saying, we're putting our nuclear deterrent on high alert because of this, that, and the other. Because of the rush. All the lies he's telling. Everything he says is a fucking lie almost. And then that guy's getting the crazy eyes over there. He's like, but I'm the guy who turns the nukes on. They literally fired that guy. They replaced him the next day.

He's gone. Oh, yeah. There's not a lot of, I would imagine, not a lot of dead time in military roles where it's like, you're fired. What were you? Five star, you know,

master of war. Get the four star guy. You're five star guy now. And you're a gulag guy now. Yeah. I would imagine. I don't want to be gulag. I'm sorry for looking so scared.

I'll look like this the rest of the time. Who's winning, Kyle? I know who's losing and that's what's important rush is losing they are losing more than a war they are losing significant uh um gravitas like i saw like some military guys like guys who are in military now being like we always thought they were kind of our equivalents or maybe just a little bit behind but this is embarrassing stuff uh it's like i i

don't know what army guys call fellow army guys shit bags or something like that he's like a lot of faith a lot of faith in my fellow shit bags now they're a lot better than because it's weird that they're opening a wave and i don't mean an opening wave of 10 or 15 000 people like they're opening wave of like 50 or 60 000 people seemingly were kids that got woken up at night and told they were on a training exercise. I've heard that. I don't know what to believe. If you capture me and I was there to kill civilians, I'm going to explain to you that I thought I was on a training exercise. I did not know we were going to war. As far as I knew, we were out running. And then here I was in Kiev. But they all have a different lie, right? They all have the same

lie, right? Yes, but they all told it together. No, no, no, across various units. Okay, okay, okay. So that's different. I saw one video where they went to like five guys in a row, sitting against the wall. They're like, Taylor, what were you here for? I thought it was a training exercise. I didn't know anyone was going to get hurt like taylor what were you here for i thought it was a training exercise i didn't know anyone was gonna get hurt what do you what were you here for same as that dude that's what i like i like however ukraine or russian like translates to english like it makes situations where they should be much more exasperated translate into like just a regular conversation somehow he's like what do you want to tell your fellow russians back home no need to come here i saw one where they were interviewing a ukrainian dude and they're like hey do you have a message for vladimir putin and then they hand the mic to

him and it's just like they just took out all his curse words i didn't know they knew the n word over there good god that guy's intense these guys wield curse words like picasso wielded a paintbrush they are masters over in the ukraine and perhaps russia too just i like it i i like seeing it i i i don't know what's going to happen. They seem to be holding out so well. I think that it was... Something happened where some party statements were leaked. They had been already distributed. And it was like, oh, glorious victory today.

And day two of glorious military campaign. We have taken Kiev. They had plans that, all right, day one, we'll do this. Day two, we'll take Kiev. Day three, we'll have our puppet government in. We'll be out in a week. And now they're in something that I think a lot of people... Did they really think three days?

Yeah, because they didn't think there'd really be any resistance. They didn't think that... They're building concrete walls and stacking tires on them to be lit on fire to block highways. So basically like his his pre-invasion research was talking to the sect of people in ukraine that loved him was like it'll be just like that the whole way through it could be that and like people i don't think that that's a very high percentage after all i think there's definitely regions where they're like yeah we're

russian here not ukrainian and it seems like the russian propaganda is they are really trying to make it seem like those groups are a much more significant portion of the population and here's something to consider like like i'm sure that you could ask a lot of like people who live in canada like like you consider yourself an american like well i am an american i was born there my wife's canadian blah blah blah it goes back one generation this that and the other what if you know what if united states invaded canada well fuck that! There's a difference between identifying as a Russian, liking Vladimir Putin and Russia, wanting to be a Russian,

and being okay with Russian tanks rolling through your neighborhood saying you're going to be. Yeah, making you leave your home and your family and your possessions and your livelihood. I'm not an expert, but I'm almost positive that anytime you hear them complaining

about banned cluster bombs, you're getting some western fluff because first of all they're not banned by the united states or russia they're just banned by everybody else so take that how you want second of all they're not using cluster bombs cluster bombs explode and then turn into more bombs that sometimes then turn into more bombs and then rain down on people um they're using those GRAD, those grad multi-launcher trucks, which is just as bad if you ask me because it's indiscriminate. It's sort of a dumb munition you would think of.

They're aiming it at that place. And like if you shoot enough of them, you can like decimate a big area. So when you hear those, see those boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like impacts, that's corresponding to those other videos you see where there's a truck going forever but they're just kind of like oh that that's a good area and they just kind of hit around that area yeah yeah that's not like we're gonna hit this building or like that it's not even like we're gonna hit this like window in this building. I saw a missile strike some sort of square today in an effort to kill a governor, they said. And the missile goes so slow, you can see it hit.

It's just like, there's the missile, boom, and the whole square explodes. And there's cars around and civilians everywhere. Did the guy survive? I didn't hear. One problem with cluster bombs, I'm not an expert, so don't get caught up in the numbers, but they're pretty unreliable. So what happens is you drop a couple big bombs, and then they spread into a bunch of smaller bombs. I'm not an expert, so don't get caught up in the numbers, but they're pretty unreliable. So what happens is you drop a couple big bombs, and then they spread into a bunch of smaller bombs,

and they're supposed to just explode, all over the place. What happens is, and don't get caught up on the numbers, like 90% of them explode, and 10% become landmines that just sort of sit there waiting for something to disturb it. And that's kind of not cool because

your target changes. Now it's like kids wheeling their donkeys. I don't know why kids wheel donkeys in this scenario. But kids wheeling donkeys around. It's a bizarre economy in Ukraine. Little Mikhail was stunt riding his donkey car.

But yeah, they turn into landmines when they didn't mean them to it's just unreliable cheap i mean i saw a fucking russian cruise missile sitting in a lady's apartment today like the thing is about 8 12 feet long or something it's it's hunter green and you can wrap your arms around it maybe it's sitting in her apartment iraq there were iraqis out on the streets watching the show having that level of confidence that our missiles landed where they were

supposed to. And I guess mostly they do. I mean, clearly we make some mistakes, but when we bomb a wedding, we thought somebody was at that wedding. Hey, I'll say this. We hit the shit out of that wedding. We didn't miss the wedding and hit a bar mitzvah.

We didn't hit a fucking baby shower next door. The wedding guests, that's who died. Vaporized. You have to understand, we thought that wedding had someone different there. It wasn't that we missed and hit a wedding. We hit the wedding we were aiming for. You just know some guy.

This is the worst day at work. These spoiled rich people. What's that noise? No, that's... I'm not sure the Russians always hit what they aim for. I don't know. They definitely don't hit what they aim for, and the problem is sometimes they do hit what they aim for, right? Because I have

seen them purposefully hitting apartment buildings and places like that that are just straight out civilian targets um with that square that i talked about getting missile struck today i was watching people drive by in cars when the missile hits i'm so so surprised the car can still move but it like speeds off and i was thinking like i bet their ears are they're deaf now like forever i bet that's a deaf person driving away i'm really curious about the impact of the near miss right or like like you mentioned the turkish drones seem to be effective

against convoy type targets okay but i wonder those missiles let's say the missile lands directly on some sort of artillery or tank or whatever it hits that Hasn't it just taken out one of 1,500 problems? Are the two next to it that damaged? How many people nearby are dead? I think each one is a big deal. They've only got so many. Even if it's 300,000,

if you take out 10,000, that's a significant thing. They're not going to like that. The thing is the war can stretch on. Just keep piling them up, right? Because we are happy to trade Stinger missiles for Russian helicopters, and we are happy to trade Javelins for Russian APCs, like former forward operating vehicles. Oh, they got a Jeep, a truck, a Studebaker? Sure. Because we got those things piled up anyway, and we've already handed them off to them. I saw they were like,

these are captured Ukrainian munitions, and it was like three ukrainians and like eight stingers and it was like yeah there's plane loads of those landing every day the french are sending those everybody's sending those they've got if they can i need to buy stock and whoever makes javelins right who makes javelins lockheed Martin? I don't know. You've probably heard of him. Yeah. Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, one of those. It's a... Oh, I watched... Oh my god. It's a joint venture between Raytheon

and Lockheed Martin. Did you guess that, Taylor? Well, those are the two main military industrial companies. There's only so many. I know, but who's going to nail the joint venture? You've got the order. Only a genius who has a total understanding of Ukraine. Lockheed Martin and Raytheon either.

He even got matched to the Google. Damn, what a win. I'm going to ride the rest of the night off that lottery ticket. You need to buy a lottery ticket, I know. I fantasize about winning the lottery so much more than I've ever bought a lottery ticket i know i i fantasize about winning the lottery so much more than i've ever bought a lottery ticket i'm um i don't think i've ever bought a lottery ticket i've gone to parties where they like come at the plate but so i've scratched them off like i've experienced it nah not scratch offs you want to get like the power ball so you gotta like wait by the tv and

they call the numbers out right i remember i bought a powerball i bought a powerball for the billion one like four or five years ago remember it was like over a billion dollars yeah yeah and everybody i knew did not tell anyone i would be doing some wild stuff if i want a billion dollars and it would not be actually i don't know what i would do it It would be so much fun. Just know for the rest of your life, you could just behave however you want. I just go around offending people like the MyPillow guy.

Just upsetting people. I haven't heard about him lately. Is he making noise in other circles? I have no idea. He's just not on my radar. He's selling pillows. He was selling Trump propaganda for a while. He was just all over what they call the big lie, this idea that Trump won the election.

And he kept doing these specific dates. I've always wondered why these people weren't better liars. But it was literally like four days from now, I'm going to drop a truth bomb on you guys. And I'm like, well, the gig is up in four days. Why did you say that? Four days comes along. He's like, no, no, no, no. I need five more weeks.

It's like, well, why did you say four days? Did you think you had the goods when you didn't? It's because he's making it up. He needs to make it up better. You know, if you don't have the goods goods you don't say four days from now don't do it that's a huge mistake but like he kept missing his date missing his date miss it dude pick a farther date you're fouling this up because now you look like a fool repeatedly i bet he little he knew that if he picked a far out date people would be like who cares you got to keep stringing it along like a video game release that's never quite there that this is

when biden's gonna go down maybe some maybe he was getting bad information maybe he's like the fool in this whole thing and someone else is pulling some strings and they were like yeah it's coming out on the fourth tell like maybe. Maybe somebody's trolling him. I only say that because we literally watched today Russian state media and mainstream media get fooled by Bernie Gores. I mean,

have you seen the full Bernie Gores saga? Because it goes on and on. He's lucky to be alive. Thank you, Liz. This latest link I've got. me uh let me share this with you just a moment i had to grab it from somewhere else yeah it was like what was the saga like fake ukrainian accounts posted it and then like a real account called the fake account fake not knowing it was meant to be fake. And that guy looked stupid.

I think, right. You've got, you've got both things happening. You've got people saying, look, an American died, blah,

blah, blah. But you've also got the people saying, look, here's another, here's another, you know, mainstream media,

false flag, blah, blah, blah. This Bernie Gore's guy had died in like Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan. he died during the earthquakes in my in montana he died during the asteroid strike in beijing it's just like goes on and on or whatever and uh and so they're thinking that it's like no one is realizing that this is

about being silly and it's a meme and that's the funny thing like like i saw them on cnn or something today like like a major news network whatever being like it's actually a youtuber named jordy jordan and i sent that to everyone i knew like oh it is it is i love how quickly these stupid meme things make the news i saw a clip earlier today of Tucker Carlson doing his like befuddled face where he's like, now lots of mainstream media articles aren't telling you the truth. For example, this was shared by a mainstream journalist saying that the ghost of Kiev was Samir Al-Haid. Problem is, Sam Hyde is a comedian, and it is on Fox News, the worst Photoshop I've ever seen.

Sam Hyde's head badly laid onto it. No, no, not his head, not his head. His face. Plugged into a pilot's helmet and gear. He's not even wearing the respirator. His cheek is like overlaying where the the talking antenna would be it is the most obvious fake of all time and this dude's like glowing review like the guy who actually bought into it's like

give him hell samir and it's like oh god like like people have shown time and time again that like mainstream media like really are often like struggling really are often struggling for a new thing to talk about on the current topic. Because if you watch CNN, it's like, man, y'all got like 40 minutes of material and you repeat. Is that all you got? Because I can get on Reddit and I can find hours worth of shit. I can deep dive. So if you call into one of those shows, if you manage to get through somehow they will absolutely put you on the air as general mcnaird or some shit like i've seen it happen so you know um uh stuttering john

got on like a call with on air force one with the president like if you just lie enough and tell them that you're important enough oh yeah that's right i'm retired uh two-star general mcnaird uh uh i was in the uh blah blah blah conflict well let's get you on the air right now you're an expert ukraine i speak ukrainian i would hope so then they put you on and they're like you could totally be like i just want to send a message to the ukrainian people and if i may speak in my mother tongue ukrainian yes yes please go right ahead and of course no one would know you could just do gibberish like like you could you could you just are like i give you so much encouragement friend it's like don't worry they understand like it's just you're talking in a russian accent it's like to the untrained perhaps i want to see that i want to see a glut of fake generals and shit calling into radio shows just causing problems. That'd be so funny.

producer or someone who's tangentially related to the producer like hey you tell karen i know she she's running the big show now over there but i'm general mcnair and i'd be happy to discuss the the current situation i can send you my references and my contact information i'm ready to go anytime this afternoon like might get plugged in yeah and then you could like throw on your background right like like if you could find like like like the like like the uh the white house or something like like one of those official looking things to throw up behind you not literally the white house but but i always see them like you know just the washington cityscape or something i would love to i would love for them to like finally get the guy on because like sight unseen is how he would show up and it's just like a 19 year old and like a michael ducacus helmet like just

way too big looking like an asshole did you i didn't know that vladimir klitschko was the fucking mayor of kiev until a couple days ago i don't know that he's mayor of yeah he's mayor of the capital city so vladimir klitschko and his brother were um two of the uh more famous boxers when i was like in high school like like they were the ones that were like kind of opposing lennox lewis and uh heavyweight champs yeah and uh i i they were they were famous i i know about them so to see him there like yeah we're gonna defend kiev to the last man uh it's great have you seen the uh i'm sorry go ahead buddy it's neat because he's rich he's like he was a heavyweight champion for a long time those guys make a ton of money in boxing when

you're at the top of the food chain like that he could do anything he could have hopped on a plane he could have bunkered down he might have even been able to buy some level of safety but instead he's on the streets dressed like a soldier doing the same thing that his president is. It's pretty neat. It's very admirable. Everyone's pulling in the same direction in Ukraine, it would seem. Yeah. I think that the patriotism of the average Ukrainian has been the most underestimated thing throughout this whole conflict by everyone involved.

I think America would do that too. America loves it. We are the most patriotic people in existence. Now, just to be clear, no one else does the thing with the flags and everything. We got American flags on everything. No one else does that. Anywhere.

No one else. If Russia tried to evade America, every car would be flying a flag. I our inner. I bet if we all three simultaneously did the pledge of allegiance right now, it would freak some of our international listeners out so much. They may not have ever even heard of it. Like we,

every day. They certainly didn't have to do it in kindergarten and first grade and second grade and the whole way through. Isn't it? I, I, it is weird. We see, we hear other countries and being brainwashed right like oh my god they're brainwashing these kids to feel this

way or that way in their schools let's do it and i'm like how can you throw stones all right one i'm not doing it three what I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands one nation under God indivisible

with liberty and justice for all you may be seated take out your spelling books dude every day we chanted that as a group thing You may be seated. Take out your spelling books. Dude, every day we chanted that as a group thing. Facing the flag. Yeah, you would stand up. You put your hand on your heart.

You'd face the flag and you'd engage in this indoctrination ceremony to love America every day. And sometimes I'd look around like, am i the only one who's not crazy here shouldn't america earn my love instead of me being programmed to love it you don't feel it's earned your love yet how much more prosperous can you be like a third beautiful child a few more million dollars would you like your pecs just a little bit bigger what is yeah okay the pecs thing you're selling me i blame america you were pressing two plates you you were showing that that picture of the ukrainian

six foot six boxer who who is a politician now yeah click the link and uh zach you can put the photo up it's just the main photo on this article this is a Russian politician who is formerly a boxer his name is Nikolai Valuev oh my god why is he like a bear he's seven feet tall and apparently the largest world

championship boxer ever the guy on the right there is six three you can tell the camera. Again, as a guy who watches fitness YouTubers, you just stand a little bit closer to the camera and your arms look bigger and you're bigger. Yeah, I said it.

It's the most recent link, Zach. He's in the foreground there. What a ghoul of a man. I know. Yes. You can see his... There it is, Zach. You can see the brow.

Look at that. This guy doesn't fear the rain he's just rolling right off that fucking zach's still not showing it having trouble forehead there we go oh my god look at the amount of hair zoom zach the amount of hair what are you talking about on his hair coating around his whole body i was looking at his head when you said look at the hair i was like what are you talking about no no he looks like a bear he's a gorilla he does how big are those pants like 60 inch waist that guy yeah that's insane the eastern europeans they love boxers and they love boxers being politicians i guess so what is he now he's in he's a russian he is a russian politician yeah why does this keep happening why are we celebrating the bad guys last time we talked about putin we showed him on the fucking horse the whole time.

It's not celebrating him. It's just that guy's huge and it's novel. I bet he gets whatever he wants in his little whatever area he's in. I guarantee he has one of those voices that's like this. Where it's upsetting to hear. No way. He's got that Lennox Lewis voice. You think so? Yeah.

Mike Tyson has the worst voice of any fighter ever I like it though it makes it makes it easier to talk to him I think I think that if he had like a big scary voice he wouldn't come off as well I think it's helped him post boxing sure oh he's great post boxing now he's like not scary anymore he's like multi-millionaire from all the weed shit and his podcast and such he's only not scary when he chooses to not be scary that's true yeah try to try to take his seat on the plane see how that goes for you no no i saw that little skit where he slapped dana that time that was funny did he slap him yeah like on the back of the head or the back oh i did i've seen that i saw another one where d Dana White is on a private jet, right?

And he might be on his laptop or something. Like he's a little busy. And Mike Tyson walks up to Dana White and says, you're in my seat. Get out. Dana's like, oh, my mistake. And he's like, I just kid. You can sit there. You can sit there.

But it's like, you just fucking alpha Dana White. Oh, no, they're putting on a skit for the camera. But that's funny. Oh, of course. Yeah. No, they're putting on a skit for the camera. But that's funny. Oh, you're probably right. Oh, of course. Yeah. They're putting on a skit for the camera. I just always liked it because it showed Dana White

having a sense of humor. You have to be right. I need to... If I ever see Dana White, I'm asking if that was true. I mean, it wasn't a cell phone camera. That was somebody's down low with a stabilizer. Like they're on a plane. Anyway, that just always made me think of Dana White was that was somebody's like down low with a stabilizer like they're on a plane anyway um i

that just always made me think of dana white and uh uh tyson of having a good sense of humor i i like to see i i just how many sports organizations are cutting the russians off and putin in various ways all the like petty things are interesting to me yes the the petty things like the judo thing and the taekwondo thing. I know they're trying to like, they've been messing with his personal yacht. They've been changing, they've been doing something to the navigation of his yacht.

Just lots of weird little petty things like that. And then we saw that one guy put a million dollar bounty on Putin's head. That was interesting. Must be hard to kill Putin. If it was easy, it'd be done by now. F1 removed the Russian Grand Prix. Interesting. Yeah, they're not going to do it there.

Nobody's going to do anything. FIFA was the meanest though. FIFA was like, not only are we not going to do any matches in Russia, but if the Russians, if anyone will agree to play with a Russian, first of all, because a lot of people are saying they won't. The Polish won't play the Russians.

A bunch of the two or three countries are like, we won't play against Russians. But they're like, all right, if someone agrees to play against you, we will do it in neutral territory. We will not play your anthem. You may not wear your we will not show your flag and you cannot wear your fucking uniform. The one that they wear. They have to be naked probably a white shirt might make soccer better they've got potato sacks that say shame

they have to play barefoot they're like this sucks yeah I like all that stuff I saw someone being like why don't the guys that make Tarkov say something why don't what does Dana White say something and it's like yeah maybe maybe i don't know i don't know how much you want to squeeze this apple uh should anyone who does business with a russian company like be called out right now i'm a little torn because part of me is like yes every one of

these cut slices right the death by a thousand cuts. Take off their soccer team. Like, make it a thing. But then pick some random Russian fighter. I can't even name a Russian fighter. Khabib Nurmagomedov? Is he Russian from Dagestan? I don't understand.

Yeah, I think Dagestan is like a Russian territory, right? Like, good at. I guess I don't quite understand how it works either. I'm having a hard time believing Dagestan is like its own sovereign nation. He's from Sildi, Russia. Okay. Alright, fine. Well, he's retired, but let's

use him anyway. I feel like Khabib isn't part of this, but neither are these soccer players. It takes pictures of Putin. Does he? So does Conor mcgregor gotta get him too uh yeah i don't know i just like you know it was all fun and games until you affected my favorite sport kyle right right i'm not looking to sacrifice like this and the reason i like these little petty things most of all is because of what I keep hearing from Russians when they find

out what's happening. And they're like, they're like, um, yeah, someone texted me the other day and told me that we were at war and I had no, like,

like they're all just so like behind the curve, like having no idea what's going on. Or if they do have some idea, it's like this really absurd version of things, you know, they don't go on the internet. I guess they don't speak English. I don't know if like the the if certain sites are blocked i know that their local news is nothing but propaganda sure like i know if they turn on

russian language news it's nothing but propaganda like rt is propaganda all that stuff is um so they're getting like they're getting the ones that do know that anything's going on think that like it's it's restrained to one small area in western ukraine or excuse me eastern ukraine and it's just there's some terrorists there who are going to chemical strike uh russia with with american chemical weapons and but we're taking those terror cells in eastern ukraine in this one province out meanwhile they are grad rocketing the capital of a country of 45 million and encircling the capital you know it's it's it's pretty wild this is pretty funny i just went to i had to go to bing to find russia today because i was curious what they would even have there they have a big featured article russia to host first

international anti-fascist Congress. And it is, uh, the picture is the, the one like Nazi guy, like the, the Ukraine army thing. Like they are still really holding onto this pretending like, yeah,

they keep going on about the first anti-fascist Congress denazification. Yeah. The denazification of, uh, um, you know, a country of slobs who are led by a jew um i just that's it's not even a good lie to tell right um that's the phrasing i'm looking for some

of these lies why don't people tell better lies tell better lies because because like you can make me like lean your way a little bit like even what i know if i heard a russian say a certain lie he might sway me a little bit. Oh, really? I didn't know that. But I haven't heard anything like that. All I hear is like, oh, we are defending ourselves as best we can, but the Ukrainian mongrels... It's like, wait, what?

That Jewish Nazi is really the problem. Like, wait, I'm not buying it. It doesn't seem right at all. I'm trying to get an update on that 40 mile long convoy and apparently they got 15 miles from kiev and now they're bogged down and and bogged down is the expression i've seen across a couple news articles i'm like what is bogged down meaning to me that means the terrain got muddy how long i expect that's not really it are they

are they getting shelled like crazy like what happened one thing that's in one thing is they haven't seemingly i heard this general say that they haven't effectively achieved what's called combined arms combined arms is when all the little facets work together as this military machine it's what we do when we go to places and have like those wars where like the the air force comes in gets air superiority or period as soon as 12 guys are in trouble they call on the phone and phone a friend for help yeah everybody's working together like to achieve like each little goal and it they haven't achieved that and part of it's like their supply lines aren't working like it seemed like they were planning for that quick war but now that things have bogged down it's like well we're out of gas

well where's the gas well they're out of gas wait the gas truck's out of gas well they've got gas in the back but they can't get it into the truck we didn't bring a hose you didn't bring a hose like i feel like a lot of that's happening that's a comedy of errors right there i think in the military like if you're not incredibly well organized then things quickly become a comedy of errors because so many parts need to work together because like an armored personnel carrier i don't know exactly what the maintenance time is like you know like a helicopter uh woody do you know like how many times how many hours you run a heli before you do x amount of like maintenance i want to say it's one toto-one. It's really high. In military, it's got to be higher, you would think.

Not having people there to work on shit from the 80s, these Russian APCs and Ford vehicles. Everything looks like a tank to us. Anything with a big gun on the top. They've all got acronyms, but any of that big heavy metal shit they're driving around with guns on it, it needs mechanics and fuel continuously. They always need to be tinkering on that stuff.

And the kids that I've seen them capturing, most of them anyway, God, they do not look like an effective fighting force. They look like weekend at the paintball course. They look hungry. They literally look hungry. Did you see their MREs? They were really expired in 2015.

Seven years out of day mres like wow it's 2015 time has flown i saw that i was like 2015 is not that bad well i've been making a big deal out of it oh no it's march of 22 that is seven years at it yeah i don't know like i think putin wants to have to be an equal to joe biden he wants to Joe Biden. He wants to be on the world stage right across from America like the guys that lived in the Kremlin before him. This is the opposite of achieving that. This is making him look so small, petty. petty um i used to think of him as a very intelligent guy right i think everyone does like like a calculating um um ruthless kind of character like he's almost a game of thrones type villain who he's like he's always a step ahead this makes him look like a fool i i maybe maybe like the world are the is the is the stupid ones and like he's the one guy who's like we'll just wait till like you know the fall then you'll see my plan cut hatch but like right now he looks weak and petty he looks

ineffective um did you see trump praise him the w's have you seen that news yet yeah that was that happened like day one um they doubled down though they asked him about it and uh i need to hear it i need the words let me see if I can find it Putin's goaded with the sauce That's what he would say Oh please don't say that I would never say that again All those Zoomer memes, I don't get it

I don't get it Trump doubles down on comedy I'm sorry, adulation That's okay, they can't get a job I don't know why I said comedy well this article is paywall blocked keep going that sauce I've got Rolling Stone

is it about to block me doesn't look like it don't make me go to printer friendly I'll do it oh no I can read his quote if it's the Rolling Stone one because i i didn't get a whitelist thing uh i went to for the second one's bloomberg the first one's independent co uk just looking business insider does anyone not block yeah it looks oh and i just want to say

the oh you've got it now yeah the russian attack on ukraine is appalling it's an outrage an atrocity that should never have been allowed to occur. We are praying for the proud people of Ukraine. As everyone understands, this horrific disaster would never have happened if our election was not rigged. And if I was the president, very simple, it wouldn't have happened. I said, this is genius, the ex-president said on a right-wing podcast. Putin declared a big portion of Ukraine is independent. Oh,'s wonderful i said how smart is that and he's going to go in and be a peacekeeper that's strongest peace force we could use that on our southern border that's

the strongest peace force i've ever seen there were more army tanks than i've ever seen that's such a funny way to say it they're going going to keep the peace all right. He's a guy who's very savvy. That's the most army tanks I've ever seen. He's the president of the United States. That's the most army tanks I've ever seen. It sounded like a little boy who just got back from the war museum or something. That was the most army tanks I ever seen. The most army tanks.

The coolest thing. First of of all can i just say why is that the most army tanks the united states president has ever seen yes right it's probably not true nothing he says is true of course it's not true because anybody who's watched television has seen more army tanks than that it's a lot of army tanks though and from now on it is all army tanks well i've never seen that many in real life. That's his worst quote ever. Neither has he. He's watching on TV, too. Oh, I thought, didn't he do like a military parade, or did he not end up doing that? That would surely have a lot of tanks.

I don't think they ever did the military parade. It sucks that they didn't, though. No, they didn't reelect him. I think if he got reelected, they were going to get the parade. We didn't come through for him, so he couldn't come through for us. I was going to show you all more tanks than you've ever seen in your entire lives well see that's that the two quotes really are you know at odds with one another the the first one um makes him seem like an absolute piece of shit or an idiot and i think the answer is he's an idiot um i don't think he's rejoicing at civilians being killed i think he's a fucking idiot who doesn't know shockingly he doesn't know

anything about the russian ukraine thing even though the whole controversy with him if you remember was him telling zelensky that he was not going to give him the 400 million dollars worth of aid unless zelensky investigated the biden's of course the biden's were up to some dirty stuff it's a shame he didn't investigate them properly. Of course, it probably wouldn't. Oh, I wonder if anyone's saying that that's why Biden isn't helping Zelensky enough now was because Zelensky was involved with the Hunter Biden stuff before. Or if anybody's like threaded that through the eye. I went the other way on it.

Like, didn't Zelensky make Hunter pretty wealthy or something something like that maybe he was on the board of some energy company there right right well i mean hunter biden probably has lots of energy expertise they need it he knows what it's like to have a lot of energy dirty dirty well um uh anyway yeah trump praised putin said you know he's like he's getting this thing for like two dollars in sanctions it's a great real estate dealer like it's the what he said there is the worst thing i've ever heard him tone deaf way to address that not he comes off at the very least like he's either an idiot or a monster and it might be something in between that was a terrible quote it turned out to be really really dumb but there was a time when i thought he was

right just not right to say it like oh no no trump those are the things we only think you know we think putin's a really smart leader we think putin taking ukraine is actually going to be a really great way for him to expand russia and you know every time america has expanded whether it be the purchase of alaska or louisiana purchase or i don't know whatever we did the stewards folly when we purchased alaska fulton's it's stewards folly where do i get fulton's it might be fulton's falling okay i'm not sure i need to find out now. Yeah. Any case, all of these things.

When we got Hawaii, however we did that, I don't know. Every time we're like, that's really glad that's part of America. It's great to get this amount of real estate, even when it's Alaska. If Putin were to get Ukraine and just suffer through people being mad at him for 18 months, then would have been awful and evil but at the same time pretty sweet for russia i thought that's how it was going to be so when trump said that it was like ah he's not wrong he's just an asshole but now it turns out he seems to be both what is the oh i think that if so if putin is able to take the entire southern coast of Ukraine, it's a win. The sanctions won't stay there forever. Eventually, if he can, maybe that's his goal.

Maybe at this point he realizes he cannot install a figurehead, a puppet government. Maybe if he can, though, weaken the capital and almost take the capital, he can bargain. All right, you keep the capital. I get everything in the South. If he can make that deal and then the sanctions come off, it's a huge win for him because access- If he could just keep the two places that wanted to be Russian. Do you remember he declared them to be independent? No, he needs the whole Southern coast. He needs the natural gas that's offshore. And he also needs the port there that's open throughout winter. You were right about the Alaska Purchase, by the way.

Yeah. Sewards. I think I said steward, though. You were closer. How's that? Yeah. Fair. You're muted.

I'm sorry. The areas you were talking about, like saying he needs the south part, the area of Ukraine, the bit of it that is pro-Russia to rejoin, that's on the east. I don't think that's on the south. It's going to be all fighting.

Crimea is that little island off in the bottom. He's already got that. He needs the entire southern coast. All of that. He coast all of that he wants all of it every bit of that is enormous amounts of natural gas i'm sure it's the 16th or 14th largest deposits in the world it's one of the other well if i knew who time mishenko and yukovic were this might be helpful um so it looks like yukovych is i don't know what this means exactly but

i can see that the red is russian and the blue is ukrainian that's maybe where their loyalties lie yeah like hardcore ukraine far west maybe the two dark places are the ones that went for the considered themselves russian wanted to see the vladimir putin draw

this map? Right. No idea. It says VP in the bottom corner. Vladimir Putin. In any case. Yeah. Putin finding himself really isolated and liking anything about Russia

is extremely unpopular right now. Yep. Throw out your vodka. Get rid of it. Most of the... Or get yourself some Nimarov honey pepper vodka. That's that Ukrainian stuff. I'm always telling you it's my favorite vodka.

It's the best. Nimarov honey pepper. Honey pepper sounds horrible. It's actually really good. It's actually really good. I don't know. I don't want a peppery vodka. No, my Ukrainian buddy, Sergei, he's the one who introduced me to that stuff. We sat vodka no my ukrainian buddy uh sergey he had he's the

one who like introduced me to that stuff they we sat there and we drank that vodka with these little pickles he had these little like i don't know they're like the baby pickles but they're whole i don't know like gherkins is that what they're called yeah he's like yeah you take the shot and you eat the pickle and it was like good we drank a whole bottle sitting there that night waiting on that girl to show that i'd warned not to. He's a great guy. He's a great Ukrainian. The Ukrainian, the potential rapist that tried to get you in on the ground floor with his plans, right? You know what?

Ghoul. I mean, most of the vodka, like when I buy vodka, I tend to go Tito's. Yeah. Because American vodka, like, well, this isn't 80 years ago. It's not like the Russians haven't figured out and we can't. Like, I bet Tito's vodka is better than the Russian stuff. I don't know if there's any Russian vodka anyway. Vodka was all the same. Stilichnia, that's Russian, right?

Definitely not. Well, vodka is not even all made out of the same thing. I must be wrong. What is it that, like, to be considered this this it has to be is it that's tequila oh tequila that maybe okay tequila is the one i'm always talking about that needs to be 100 agave not like 40 50 50 agave it's a it's a huge deal but with vodka like like some vodka is definitely better than others um it depends what they make it out of, how much burn it's got, how smooth it is. And there are some like, they're not supposed to be any flavor notes because it's supposed to be really a mixer more than anything.

But some of them have like notes of vanilla a little bit. I just like Tito's because it's smooth, it doesn't burn, and it's cheap. Yeah, it's for what you get. Because you'll go to the store and like you'll see bottles of vodka for like 80 bucks. And it's like, I can't I'm not into whiskey or scotch, but at least like my friends who are into that, like if they're drinking an expensive bottle of scotch, they're like, oh, I really I'm enjoying this. Like, yeah, no one drinks vodka that way outside of like Russian shows like Chernobyl, like where they're sitting down and they pour vodka into a glass with no warm vodka. There's a warm vodka. That's insane.

You know what? Do you have Zevia? Do you have something else? Maybe a spin drift lime for me? Love soda? I'll have the vodka, I guess. Sure, sure. A nice hot, hot vodka.

Yeah, nobody drinks vodka like that. It's not good. But then I saw a news broadcast that was like, before you pour out your out your vodka people you should know very little vodka is made in russia anymore like like stilichnia not made in russia not owned by russians um they went to a guarantee standard nope some fucking retards out there dumping their smear off yeah yeah. Yeah, how stupid. It's not Russian vodka. None of those are Russian vodka. It sounds really Russian.

They're all American companies that were like throwing off in there. You think it sounds Russian? Look at what the bottle for Smirnoff looks like. It's those little buildings in Red Square with the pointy tops. I never even noticed that. Yeah.

It looks like very Russian vodka. And it's a British company. All of them are like Eastern European countries. They're Ukrainian, Slovenian, something like that. Yeah. Smirnoff is manufactured by a beverage company out of London. Perfect.

Oh, the Brits have been so entertaining throughout this. What have they been up to? Whoever that lady is, their foreign minister or whatever, this is blonde lady. She's great. And the way they do their, I guess it's their parliament. I watch an hour and a half, two hours. Oh, it's so good. First of all, she's standing

in front of a table with like a bunch of old books on it and a sword. I like that. And she stands up and she's like, it's almost like a performance. She's like, and now we'll hear from the honorable gentleman from Roxbury. And this guy stands up. He's like, thank you for hearing me today. I'd just like to tell the madam she did a very good job last week.

And I can't wait to see her do some more. I think what we need to do is look out for where Russians might hide their Russian money and disguise it so that we can't get at it. And not only do I want to look for those monies, I want to make it a crime for their lawyers to try to even hide it. If a lawyer finds those Russian monies and they don't turn them immediately over, they go to prison with their russian oligarch buddies all of them the cronies everyone from the top to the bottom she's like that sounds like a great job they're gonna do that everybody's yelling at each other this is a really good

reenactment i've seen so much of this and i'm like so part of being like the president of the uk is being a stand-up performer yeah and when someone hits a gavel they're over there they're like and now the the righteous bitch from london is gonna speak and she jumps up and she's like i liked everything he said and loved everything you said i think we take it a step further though though. And you can see the people behind her going, yeah. You're watching them when they agree. It's great when they don't agree, too. Right now, they're all on the same team, but typically they're not.

They're all against each other, like American politicians. And they just go up there and be like, Madam, have you gained weight? Well, perhaps so. It looks like you found it it's just like mean spirit your mother's pussy has helped quite the calories it's like oh so last uh a couple days ago she was threatening to go after russian oligarchs and their money and their private properties in uh in the uk and and then some she some lawyers sent her these threatening letters that were representing some Russian oligarchs. And this guy goes, madam, I was just wondering, you told us that these oligarchs had threatened you with their lawyers. Would you name the law firms that are representing

them here today so that everyone knows which law firms are representing war criminals and threatening politicians in her Majesty's Kingdom. She's just like, I don't think I'll say them out loud today, but just know that when I get letters I'm not discouraged. I'm encouraged! I look harder! And that's when they're like, they're banging canes, like harrumphing an agreement.

Harrump, harrump, harrump, harrump. And then like, you, like, I don't You need to harrump an agreement on agreement the main the like i don't know what the title is of the main guy who comes out there but you're right like the little bits of british parliament i've watched the guy will come out there with the mic and be like all right all right how's everyone doing tonight yeah all right this is warming up the crowd this is politics it's like yeah you know i was a middle for a long time but i finally got my shot i was warming up the crowd this is politics it's like yeah you know i was a middle for a long time but i finally got my shot i was warming up really entertaining and i love that they're not talking

about something petty they're talking about something important and they all fucking agree like no one i thought there'd be some conservative guy was like hang on let's not send too many missiles everybody's just like can we send them bigger missiles there's just one guy named vlad what state of the Union is tonight. Oh, shit. What time is the State of Union tonight? Oh, my God. I don't want to miss that.

I really don't. Look, I like politics. When politics are interesting, though, I'm absorbed into them. I love them. The Trump election, his run, that had me for two years. This is close. This is really good stuff. I'm going to wait for someone to edit the clapping out of

the state of the union it'll change it from 90 minutes to a lot of republicans refused to come because they had to get covid tested to show up um what's important tonight um like i have obviously i haven't seen the state of the union but i'm a little make a little forecast it's what he says about the no-fly zone because the ukrainians want a no-fly zone and it is imperative that we do not put a fucking no-fly zone there because that because that means that we go to war with russia and i've seen biden be like immediately dismissive of it boris johnson as well and it's good to yeah no no-fly zone i do that i agree with you but i i sort of didn't understand what it was to have a no-fly zone for a while so when i hear no-fly zone as an idiot,

I think, aha, if they see any other planes in the air, they're going to shoot those planes down. That is the tip of the iceberg of a no-fly zone. A no-fly zone means you're maintaining air superiority. Anything on the ground that looks like it might be able to shoot an airplane gets crushed. So all that artillery on the ground, all these SAM sites, you are just wrecking ground forces who might be able to shoot at you as you go by. That's how a no-fly zone is enforced. You're the only thing that can fly and will fly. I'm not sure about that. This comes from an American general.

Now I'm even less convinced. I'm teasing now. But at the very least, it means that you're saying that Russians can't fly military jets in this area. And so when a military jet does fly there, it's your duty to come into

conflict with it to say, hey, get out of here. I'm an American F-16. And him to say, him to say no i'm not i'm gonna bomb the city and then you have to fight it's it's it's russian and u.s jets shooting at each other that's what i thought it was but the way that it was they're like you know when you think this through what that means is that the americans are going to go and wipe out all the anti-air stuff that russia has in place it would depend on what the amer decided. It would depend how they decided to enforce a no-fly zone, right? You know, like if they could...

What I've always seen them do and what it's been suggested to me is they would say, nobody flies here. If you do, we're going to fight you. And when they do, then you fight. And obviously once the war kicks off, at that point, you're blowing up everything that's on the ground and shooting up. That can't happen

though uh unfortunately for those uh ukrainians down there but i saw the it's very vague to say the eu is doing anything but they said the eu is sending like a dozen migs fighter jets like i don't know who what country those are coming out of they just said the eu is sending them i don't know does the eu even have a fighting force i didn didn't think so. Like its own group of people composed of member nation soldiers. The EU is just like an economic alliance. Like NATO would be the military alliance. Exactly. So why does the EU have fighter jets to say? That confused me a little bit. I don't know. Things crazy. I know we're an hour in, so let's wrap it up. I want to go watch the State of the Union.

Yeah, I'm going to go eat dinner. I guess we'll wrap. I have friends who would know the answer to the no-fly zone thing. Oh, yeah. They haven't read my post. Anybody who's over there in part of the world, good luck to you. Stay safe. Yeah, good luck.

That's terrible. Yes. Yeah. All right, Zach, next.