Painkiller Already - PKN 397

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

pkn397 what's up boys how's it going not too much i want to talk about chris rock will smith all right all right yes first of all no cowardly not taking his sides we need to set that ground rule i have talked to a lot of people about this and i get i think it's clear what side everyone should be on uh i think it's very clear and i think i feeling I will be on a high list of predictions. I predict that Kyle and I are on the same side of this and Woody is on the other side. That's my prediction. Here's what I predict. I will either

make Woody change his mind or I will at least have him admit that he is wrong in his stance. I would not change my mind. You're either going to change your mind or you're going to be like, you know what? I am wrong, but this is my hill. I'll die on it.

Interesting. Because I was almost, I was even thinking to myself, this isn't the hill I'd die on. But okay, okay. So, but I think we've all agreed not to say they're both wrong or anything pussy like that. No, I'd rather be totally wrong than a pussy. Do you want me to go first? Thank you, Taylor. Welcome to the show. All right, Kyle, be totally wrong than a pussy. Do you want me to go first? Welcome to the show. Alright, Kyle, who's wrong?

Will Smith is wrong. Taylor, who's wrong? Will Smith is wrong. I think Will Smith, Kyle, and Taylor... Oh, no. Chris Rock, Kyle, and Taylor are wrong. May I present my case? I'll be quiet. Woody claims to want to live in a world where there are no more bullies.

He's a bully hater. He is a sheepdog, okay? That's his stance in life. That's his mindset. Protect the sheep from the wolves. Carry on. Yeah, he is a protector. He's an alpha who would never use that over anyone who's weaker than him.

I am being set up for a fall. This is all true, right? Wouldn't you agree? You hate bullies. I would say I aspire to be a sheepdog. I'm not pretending I'm Joe Lozon over here. I mean, you up for a fall. This is all true, right? Wouldn't you agree? Like, you hate bullies. I would say I aspire to be a sheepdog. I'm not pretending I'm Joe Lozon over here. I mean, you've got the patch. I've seen it. This is my favorite part of debate.

You set the stage and you go, would you not agree? So, he says all that, and yet he thinks Chris Rock is in the wrong, and Will Smith is in the right for striking him and being his own sheepdog and his family. Perhaps that's the way Woody looks at it. But in Woody's world, no one is allowed to say anything bad about anyone that they aren't bigger and stronger than. In this world, only bullies have free speech. In this world, only the strongest men are allowed to make jokes. Brendan Schaub is suddenly the world's best comic.

Is that the world you really want to live in? A world where the big, strong ex-UFC fighter can sell his bullshit comedy, and we have to eat it up because he'll beat us up if we walk up on stage and slap him in the face every time he slaps that line. I think Amy Schumer is amongst the toughest women comics as well. I wish somebody decked her just for the hell of it. She's got mass. If Wilson had made a left and slapped Amy Schumer right after,

I'd have been okay with the whole thing. Who's the chick from Parks and Rec? Amy Fowler? I think. I think it's a funny female. I know, but she can't say shit about Amy Schumer because Amy Schumer would rock her world. Would beat the shit out of her. So do you see where I'm coming from?

And you've also got this instance where Will Smith is only acting because she's giving him the look. Because he's laughing at the joke at first, and she's made fun of her own alopecia in public. And she's always been bald-headed. So let's not act like, oh, I got alopecia this year, and it's made fun of her own alopecia in public, and she's always been bald-headed. So let's not act like, oh, I got alopecia this year, and it's so traumatic. This wasn't a woman with a big flowing head of hair. She's a woman who has often rocked the bald look or the short cropped look.

If you go back to her movie roles, they don't even throw a wig on her. She's cool with it, and she's beautiful. Let's get that out of the way. She looks great with a shaved head. That might be the best looking bald woman in the world. Can I pause you? I didn't realize that she was an actress

and a big part of my stance was on the idea that she wasn't a player. If you know what that means. Like in a mob sense. She is very much a professional actress. She was in the original Matrix trilogy. She's Niobe. And she's currently, I don't know if it's still running, but she's been

a main star of the show Gotham for quite some time throughout its run. She's in many movie performances. She loves the younger talent that's coming up. I hear that a lot. I have a thing on that too.

I'm sorry. do you have more that you'd like to i think i'm done i think i'm done i just think that will smith was acting because this woman gave him a look and he walked on a stage and he slapped he sucker punched a man who is much smaller and he's sucker call it what you want he should i'm surprised he didn't go down hey look at will smith will smith is an action star like will smith was shirtless two years ago with six pack and big packs jumping off buildings and shooting weapons like he is an action star did you see how embarrassing the slap was six foot it was an awesome slap he slapped the shit out of him and and chris rock on the other, is one of the more smaller human beings

that is a celebrity. He can only look down on what's... Kevin Hart. Off the top of my head, Chris Rock is like 5'8 or something. Will Smith is 6'1, 6'2, easy. He walked up there and bullied a smaller, weaker man, sucker punched him in front of an audience, and then he sat down in his chair because he knew nothing was going to happen i don't like that either any white man would have been like all right take me away but like or any non-celebrity let's just say that yeah like i mean like yeah i just assaulted someone now let me sit down and wait for my reward that you that you touched on that all that being said in closing i'm glad it happened because it was cool to watch and while I agree

with everything I just said, let me talk about the man's wife, man. This shit won't happen. I underestimated how persuasive Kyle would be, so well done. A lot of women have said the same thing. women have said the same thing.

Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Strong arguments. I'll grant that. I guess I, in my head before the show started, I didn't realize she was such a big star.

That's, I guess my thing. I don't know actors and actresses like you do. And it was like, she's not a player in this, you know, she's a civilian. Mobsters kill mobsters. I get that. But leave the family out of this. You don't go after mobsters'

children because of what dad did. It's kind of the code. And I thought Chris Rock had broken that, not realizing that she was part of it. Having said that, I don't think she signed up to attend her own celebrity roast. She didn't go to the Oscars thinking that she was going to be fair game for individual insults about her medical condition. And while I guess it's rough to, I think a lot of people like, you know, the way that the words, their words, you never counter words with violence. We learned that in kindergarten. They're words. They're words. You never counter words with violence. We learned that in kindergarten. Fuck that rule. Fuck that rule.

I don't give a shit about that rule. That rule would mean that you can talk about dead parents. You can talk about sick children. You can talk about sick wives. This is bullshit. I don't like that rule. You talk about somebody's sick kids and he gives you a slap across the face. You got off easy. You shouldn't be able to just talk all the shit you want and say,

what? They're words. Why would you? They're just words. She didn't sign up for that. She didn't ask for that. She didn't start it. She sat there. Will Smith laughed at the joke. I don't think he liked it. I think he was just trying to get along, to laugh at himself, kind of, even though it was against her. I don't think he was enjoying the roast of his wife at all he was just letting it go until he got the vibe that

he shouldn't may i interject sure it's well known that if you're on the front row of the oscars you're opening yourself up to the roast uh it's why a lot of people choose not to sit down there on the dais or whatever it's called uh Every year, traditionally, that full front row gets roasted. They're opening themselves up to it. Last year when Jada boycotted the Oscars because they were too white, Chris Rock said, I believe his joke was, Jada Pinkett Smith is boycotting tonight because the Oscars are too white, she says.

That's like me boycotting Rihanna's panties. I just wasn't invited, so there's really no point. This may be built up a little bit. Yeah, but again, Will Smith laughed at it. That kind of counters your own argument of, you know, she signed up for a roast, and she got roasted when she didn't sign up for a roast, too. This has been Chris picking on Jada every year.

It's been Chris doing his job as a comedian. Like how many times have we sat here and like, let's go Ricky Gervais. Fucking show those Hollywood elitists like what they – give them their own medicine right back. And let me look at their awkward faces when they don't know what to do. Ricky Gervais took shots at Kevin Spacey and perhaps Hollywood as a whole. He didn't take shots at everyone in the room like hair loss medical he hit everyone in the room badly he hit everyone in the room well first of all that would take hours and hours so it would take days everyone like it's where are

we at now fucking i don't know uh mel gibson those tapes are hilarious man uh sound engineer number two yeah you're a bitch i mean like i i'm coming down on it much more on the side that kyle laid out i don't know anything about the oscars i've never watched it i saw the clip uh something i didn't like and i want to rehash of what you guys said but the way that will smith laughed at the initial joke and was happy to laugh at it until he got the nasty look from his wife and then he laughed on the way up the stage as he's like approaching chris rock he's like and you can see it like chris rock is standing there like he he didn't see will smith coming at him like fuming or anything like he was standing there totally like unprepared and will smith like fool them by like pretending like oh ha ha ha slap

and it's like oh and then after that he has the audacity to assault someone in front of millions of people and then go sit down with the smugness of a celebrity who knows. There will be no comeuppance. And then he wins an award. Goes up there. And talks about whatever God and Jesus. And why he slapped Chris Rock. And it's like. Just the absolute. Untouchability of some of these people.

To be able to do whatever they want. It's based on mind reading. First of all he thought this. And then he thought that. I said what I saw in the video. You're telling me what everyone's thinking. I, I said what I saw in the video. I said what I saw in the video and what you see in the video. You're telling me what everyone's thinking as it's happening. I'm telling you what's in the fucking video. And what's in the video is that he approaches him laughing to disarm him

and then slaps him and starts screaming, keep my name out. Keep my wife's name out of your mouth. You're assigning his intent as like this fake laughing disarm thing. It's an awkward situation. Am I assigning intent or am I telling what happened? You're assigning intent when you tell him why when you may i interject why he was laughing hold on there's a little more i saw chris rock put like his hands behind his back and his chin up like calling his bluff well motherfucker bluff called he thought he thought will smith was about whispering

you just said you just came down on me for assuming intent when i said when i described what's happening and then you said he's standing with his arms behind him goading him in so which is yes it's it's okay for me and not for you so i think i'm okay i don't think i i don't think i could have a youtube channel for it but i think i'm pretty good at reading like body language um will smith walked up uh in a disarming manner um to uh like sort of a aw shucks we're gonna i'm gonna have to have a little talk with you kind of thing and uh chris rock is leaning forward and i sort of whisper it in my ear big boy we're miked up you know that and then we'll hug it out and like maybe you'll even you know help me say the rest of this you'll we share the teleprompter. Who knows? He's coming up here. Cool.

He wants to fucking do the thing we do together. That's what Chris Rock is. That's how you saw it? A hundred percent. And when Will Smith strikes him, as hard and as pimp-like as a man can slap another man, because he did the full drawback and the follow-through and everything, it's a showy slap, not an offensive slap. There are better slaps, more destructive slaps.

That is the show slap. Then he walks away with a lot of swagger. I think he sticks a thumb in his belt loop and does a shoulder swagger thing with the other arm swinging wide. What a pussy. Yeah. That's how I read the situation. I think that it's probably where

most people come down on it look everybody can can look at the point like it like i made at the end of my whole argument like hey don't talk about who's wise and you won't get slapped that's true re-watching the slap that is not at all what it was like the slap actually i agree the walk though he is looking down at the ground with i'm seeing it from the back but he's looking down and he looks like kind of serious as fuck to me there was no laughing not that here i can show you the video if you'd like to watch it again it happens at around we can't show it to everyone of course but i mean 35 seconds ish will help we'll get you about right i'll look.

I'm at 35. I'm watching it repeatedly, almost on a loop. I don't see him disarmingly laughing. He's even looking down. Definitely. Now that I look at it, I feel like my argument is even more supported. He's looking down in a way to be like, oh, no threat from me. If he is walking with rage in his eyes right there, Chris Rock can't even see it. He has no way of looking Will Smith in the eyes and gauging who he's about to talk to, which Will Smith is approaching me.

He's looking down. To me, the way I interpret it i'm assigning intent like i said not to if he had looked him straight in the eyes and been like mother it's about to go down that would have been on one extreme right it wasn't that if he had been laughing and smiling at him like like i like i feel like taylor said he was that would have been the other extreme. What actually happened was somewhere in the middle where he kind of looked down and didn't show his hand. Yeah, that's fair. But in the end, I think I'm still right back where I was,

where I don't want to live in a world where it's okay for anyone, whether you're a celebrity or not, to go beat up a comedian because you didn't like what he said about anything. Because look, his wife is fucking bald-headed. beat up a comedian because you didn't like what he said about anything yeah because because look like his wife is fucking bald-headed he didn't say all your wife's ugly now because her hair grows in and dirty patches from that filthy disease she has did she catch it from cucking you

like that's not what he said he could have Ricky Gervais probably would have made a cuck joke but but but he didn't go anywhere near that shit and look it's a good joke and it's not even that mean a G.I. Jane reference oh you're comparing me to the other beautiful A-list celebrity who shaved her head and gave a great performance so before tonight started

that was I said like I don't necessarily want to die on this hill so I kind of like the idea that words have consequences right you can't just talk all the shit you want about somebody's wife somebody's kids all that stuff like i do like the idea that like hey if my way of countering it is physical because look if chris rock talks shit about my wife and i got into a word of war a war of words with him as just evidence. I would lose.

I would lose. Chris Rock would kick my ass in a war of words. I can't be Chris Rock. So, you know, it's whatever. So I do like the idea that there are consequences. And if Will Smith is using the tool of his backhand or whatever, then that's what's up. The trouble is this joke it seemed like it wasn't that bad like if i were to die on a hill i'd want the joke to be harsher than the

g.i. jane reference it was pretty mild on the spectrum of things you can say to insult someone's wife and kids oh i have another take about the cheating on the wife or cheating on the husband thing so uh apparently she slept with like a 19 year old friend of his son son's friend right they have an open marriage and everyone is like will smith is such a cuck will smith this that the other thing now i don't know this to be true but they have an open marriage that's exactly where i am i agree 100 i bet will smith is like everyone's giving me a hard time about this dude she slept with. I could fill two passenger trains with the 19-year-olds I've fucked. I'm Will fucking Smith.

You know, like what you think I don't have? Like you think the score is not even? You think I'm not winning 10 times over? I'm Will Smith. You know, I'm sleeping with half of Hollywood out here. I'm Will fucking Smith. You guys are all acting like I'm some sort of cuck. I bet Will Smith is baller as fuck.

Yeah, i don't know any of that like like maybe that maybe in the interview that he said you know i don't really get around too much but she sure does like i that interview seems too sad to watch like even though they were in a real interview that's brutal they yeah he's it's the if you've ever seen the picture of him crying like michael jordan tears like like it's from that um but uh but but all that aside look i've been a long time will smith i still am a will smith fan his movies of late have been shit this movie won the oscar for is glorious um and like i'll tell you what i watched yesterday i watched a clip from fresh prince of bel-air when he when will smith is like 19 years old or something like that and And it's the episode where his father, a strange father has come and is literally re abandoning him.

He had a great, he's like, yeah, me and my boy are going to go on this trip together. I'm gonna do this, that, and the other. And then like,

he's leaving. And uncle Phil has caught him leaving, like without even saying anything to Phil. And he's just like, you don't even have, you can't even like say goodbye. And eventually like, it's just will and uncle Phil.

And it's just such a heartfelt tearful like why doesn't he want me kind of thing and he has this whole he's like i learned to shave without him i learned to be a man without him i graduated high school without him this whole thing and he's crying while he says it and i'm like and will smith was always and always was and always will be a great actor but he shouldn't have assaulted that man because his wife gave him a dirty look yeah that's that's like that's the most weak shit ever if you ask me like a bitch chris rock ended up looking like the guy who's like will smith to smack the shit out of me uh let me just continue doing my fucking job chris rock fucking consummate professional

the way he handled that was incredible getting slapped in the face immediately being charismatic and like carrying on like as will smith is doing his badass strut the fucking pussy walks up shrouding his intent slaps him like a woman and then with celebrity privilege walks back like yeah i just assaulted someone in front of 10 million people. Nothing will happen. In fact, I'm going to get a fucking award for it. And there's going to be a debate about whether my assault on TV was OK. Like, I don't care about his cuck shit. I don't know about celebrity stuff.

But the idea that it was a that his slap was a tool he was using in some rectifying instance of justice is absurd to me. Like, he apologized today, by the way. Yeah, I'm sure he has to but like assaulting someone for a joke they told is outrageous well see he initially like apologized for the scene sort of and and but now he's apologized like directly to chris right yeah so he doesn't actually mean it of course well he has to his publicist was in his ear immediately did you see that image where like right at the commercial break each of. His publicist was in his ear immediately. Did you see that image? At the commercial break, each of their publicists is in their ears. You just fucking slapped Chris fucking Rock.

There's a reason he's here. Everyone loves him. Everybody likes Chris Rock. No one hates Chris Rock but you. No one hates Will Smith either. Now they do. Andrew Schwab. Who's the guy who's on the JRE a lot?

Not the fighter. It's Brendan Schwab and he is not alone. I'm not going for Brendan Schwab though. He's skinnier. Oh, Tom Segura? He's not skinnier. Taylor linked his comedy routine. Andrew something, I think.

He has a mustache. He's thin. Oh, the thing Kyle linked today. Andrew Schultz. Is that it? That's who I'm going for. Andrew Schultz. I said Schw mustache. He's thin. Oh, uh, the thing Kyle link today, Andrew Schultz. Is that it? That's who I'm going for. Andrew Schultz. I said Schwab.

I was off. So that was, that was a really good bit from that. I like that. That was the rapid fire jokes. That guy's hilarious. My guess is that Will Smith may have just declared a cultural war. Um,

and, and I think he's going to lose it. I think that everyone who tells a joke into a microphone is going to make Will Smith the butt of said joke. I saw Conan O'Brien being like, what a time not to have a nighttime show. And Jimmy Kimmel's like, anytime you want it, bro. You can take it for a spin. And I was like, are they gonna? Are they gonna?

I guess I am one of those fucking losers that was always a Conan O'Brien fan and followed him from station to station. Dude, I feel like we're a rare breed because he went off the air. We must be. I was always a big fan of his. I hear your words, but I felt like on the internet, he was more popular than the others. The internet preferred him. I thought he had a show. He was the best. Oh, no.

He got fired twice. They gave him the Tonight Show, but they set up for failure, and then Leno took his when when his ratings didn't immediately do well he's like i'll just never retire take a show away from you and so um then he got into those late night shows they're so boring um yeah i i i used to really like leno growing up um we were a leno household not a letterman household uh that actually might be a lowbrow thing is it do you think i didn't think that like is one of them more working class than the other we watched mythbusters as a family get the fuck out of here that was awesome man that

came on any late night mythbusters was it like 8 p.m though this is where we watched junkyard wars that was oh my god blast from the past i i used to totally i used to buy into no i like junkyard wars too so hard as like because i would watch it at my grandparents house because they had uh satellite and that was the only place we could get it it was on some bullshit channel and i would always they'd be like we're making tanks we gotta hope there's a v8 diesel in here somewhere and i'm like god please find a v8 diesel please i want to see the tank and it's like josh over here over here and it's just like an immaculate v8 diesel like laid on top of some toilet paper and it's like we found it and i'm glad you went that way

yeah it's like huh we need to look around here for like i I don't know, maybe the fuselage to a Cessna 152. And then they're like, joy of joys. Here's one under the tarp. Well, we're making dueling robots. We need a gun. Oh, there's a cache of guns. AK or which one? No, I couldn't get on with that show.

I watched it from the very beginning. I remember when it came out, and I was into it, I was in middle school. I was in sixth grade, and I thought it was really cool that they had built this cannon that shot a ball. They had built an air cannon

that shot a soccer ball or a football. I don't remember which. I think it was British, right? Weren't they in an English junkyard? I think I remember that. Some of them were, I think it was British, right? Like, weren't they in like an English junkyard? I think I remember that. Some of them were, I think. But even like sixth grade me, who was, what, 12? I was like, I've been in junkyards before.

Because like me and my dad go to the scrapyard all the time to get like parts for cars. And like, you know, we're fixing something up. I've been in a junkyard. I've been in a scrapyard. I've been in a scrapyard where people just take anything that's metal. It's never once been like this. They're finding whole pieces of components and gadgets.

You find full tires. Yeah, so Mythbusters made more sense because they were like, we're here to make cool stuff. And if we need it, we'll go to the store. We don't need a junkyard spin on this. We'll just go get the cool stuff and build cool stuff mythbusters was was uh my jam was a tremendous show it really was great they had so many good episodes a lot of that like like i think part of that was like a little bit of an inspiration for some of the

videos that i would make like like i never wanted to like copy anything they did but just the idea of like hey i bet you think this thing works like this, but it don't. Watch. Sort of that premise in general. That was the first place I saw that ballistic gel used to show penetration in slow motion. I thought that was so cool at the time.

In the early days of Mythbusters, help me, there's Jamie, who's the bigger one, and then who's the walrus one? No, Jamie's the walrus. Adam is, Jamie's the walrus. Adam is the more redheaded. Yeah. So in the beginning, I felt like Jamie was the only person with talent for like the whole.

No, Adam was the only person with talent for the holes. No, I'm saying the walrus. Let me just get it right. I will. I thought the walrus had all the brains and the other guy. I'm like, why is he here? Why would they hire this fool who had no scientific process to the way that he built things, the way that he thought things were tackled problems? And the other guy was, meanwhile, creating reproducible results with models and work his way up, et cetera. And then big dude learned from Walrus along the way. And eventually I feel like became his equal or better,

you know, throughout the seasons of the show. I always saw them as equals. I like, like two sides of the coin because I always saw, and I'm going to do what you did. I always saw Walrus guy as, as maybe the math guy who like might be like,

Oh, this whole idea you have for a catapult won't work because of the the barometric pressure like like he might come in with that but the other guy was the guy who's like i know how to make this gadget look so freaking cool and it's good oh push the button on the side now and it like all lights up like he's he's that guy he's the creative like like i saw a video the other day it was it was like his ray guns like i guess he's that guy. He's the creative. Like, like I saw a video the other day. It was, it was like his Ray guns. Like, I guess he's over the years.

He just made, I don't know, 50 different Ray guns that all look real and cool. Like, like they could fit into any sci-fi movie. And he's just like, yeah, this is,

this one does this. And this one does, they're all different and odd and weird. Um, I don't know. I, I liked that show a lot. It was kind of a shame went off the air and I thought they did a good job of

expanding it over the years. Like a lot of shows have a difficult time, but they added that group of people, those young people, because as they got a little bit older, they added young people. It was like, oh yeah, these people are cool. They fired them all because they cut the budget. Are you familiar with this?

The one guy died. The Asian guy, Grant. I liked him. He had a heart attack or something a few years ago. He was maybe my favorite of all the cast members. There was also a chick with tattoos all over. I liked her. He used to work in a circus.

I liked her a lot. I liked him, girl. There was one. This is where she won me over. They were doing this thing where a kid holds a balloon and floats into the sky. And it's like, okay. Obviously, a balloon can't carry a child away, but let's make it actually happen.

What would that look like? And they did regular balloons filled with helium, I think. And, um, you know, if they all have their own string, then after a while,

the strings gets along, they can barely lift it. So they'd put one string and a bunch of balloons along the same thing. And then they use fishing line and made it lighter and lighter and lighter until eventually they could carry a person. Cool. Well, now they have like 1,500 balloons they have to blow out. And most of them are like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Some people are sitting on them inefficiently, busting like balloon after balloon after balloon.

She comes from a circus background. So she fills her mouth with a flammable fluid and puts a lighter in front. It's like, and she puts out like 30 balloons by fire breathing. And I'm like, all right, I picked my favorite. This is the coolest way to remember that one.

But she's covered. Yeah. I liked the, there were, there were several programs like that on discovery channel. It seemed like that was a, I don't know, a cool reality show.

Now, like there's so many cooking channels. I didn't know what I wanted to watch last night, but I knew I wanted to see Gordon Ramsay do something, so I just searched Gordon Ramsay. What did you land on? Kitchen Nightmares? Oh, MasterChef. MasterChef. I like MasterChef a lot because

they're actually... It's just called MasterChef. It's not MasterChef Mini or MasterChef Australia, so maybe. They take like 20 home cooks or so roughly. And, uh, you know, other shows work, but along the way, because they're like, they go through a casting process, like, like don't misunderstand. So if they wanted the 20 best cooks, they'd have them. They don't want the 20 best cooks.

They want like five aces, 10, like a tier cooks. And they want like five aces 10 like a tier cooks and they want like five kooky motherfuckers like like incompetent shit like there was a guy he was like i've never made whipped cream before i don't like it and going like you don't like it what else don't you like i need to change the menu don't i like let's only cook what brendan likes it's it's it was ridiculous for someone not knowing to make whipped cream if you're trying to be to be a master chef and went like for a prize like you're gonna compete against that it was absurd but i wouldn't compete in amateur chef without knowing how to make stuff like that yeah so so i watched that i like that show a lot i like that show like i just got all the,

not everything can go in the Foreman grill. How did you burn water? What is this? There's salt on it. He's throwing it on the ground. Yeah. He's the best. You like,

you watch as much. I feel like you watch those shows as much for the cooking as for the drama. I really do. That's what I was going to say. I like the drama more. And so I go the kitchen nightmares route where it's just Gordon, just borderline emotionally abusing people for weeks on end, like rewiring their own cognition to the point that all of their decisions

as a contestant in their life is does this please gordon like every little bit of it i like after a while how every sentence ends with yes chef um yeah i like that no i actually don't like the yelling because i know it's not real um like if you go back to his old shows you see real gordon rams he's gruff he's very direct he's and if you compared him to like someone like a real conversation like like holy shit that guy was rude huh yeah he's a rude guy but for like television rude he's it's like vanilla he's just saying listen to me big boy i want you to get your station and you stay there look at me i mean it like that's about as far as

it goes or like or like someone will come up and like try to return food like that's the one time when i would see him actually be mean because the guys that actually work for him and i'm talking about in the shows like the f word stuff like that we're like these are his employees these are his boys like he might get mad at him and yell at him but it's just like a sergeant with his men like like these are his boys so somebody comes back up and they're like they've eaten three quarters of their food and they're like there wasn't any pumpkin in this like he shits on that guy he had security drag that guy out here's what i want to have here's what i want to see right celebrity master chef gordon ramsay just starts chewing somebody out but one of them is will smith this is so awesome gordon beats the shit out of will smith

in the kitchen gordon oh wait wait i'm gonna fuck your wife i bet she'd ask for it wouldn't she got more money than you and more tv shows who would can will smith be gordon ramsey yeah so will smith again listening no um not only is Will Smith black man, but he's also, as Dirty told me once, if you don't know anything about fighting, bet on the black guy. But he is way younger, fitter, taller. He's two years younger and the same height. They are not the same height.

Gordon Ramsay's a tall guy. Gordon Ramsay, then. I completely changed my mind. Gordon Ramsay. If it's two years and the same height. Gordon Ramsey's a tall guy. Gordon Ramsey, then. I completely changed my mind. If it's two years and the same height, Gordon Ramsey wins. Gordon Ramsey, 55. Will Smith, 53. And Taylor's mentioned this, too. I don't know where you see Ramsey with less clothes on, like no shirt.

I swear I've even seen his bare ass, but I'm not sure about that. I've seen his arms. I've accidentally shown his bare ass on Twitch. Yeah, yeah. He's fit. Gordon Ramsey works out. He's a very his bare ass on Twitch. Yeah, yeah. He's fit. Gordon Ramsay works out. He's a very fit guy. Here's the problem, though. Have you guys ever seen the movie Ali?

I have not. Will Smith portrayed Muhammad Ali and got in tremendous shape and learned to box well enough to portray Muhammad Ali. So what I'm saying is Will Smith once spent six months to a year with a professional boxer being trained to be a professional boxer. Gordon Ramsay, I was going to give him the edge because I think

even though he's a chef and everything, I'm sure he's been in a fist fight. I don't know. I just think of the English as a rough crowd, maybe. Some soccer hooligan blood. I don't know that that's going to matter unless we're fighting in a kitchen where Gordon maybe has his blades. By the time

Will Smith gets within five meters of Gordon, he's going to be weeping on the ground like a girl, like a baby. He's going to start critiquing him at range. Gordon has ranged attack. Gordon has ranged attack. The text scrolls on the bottom. Gordon used ranged attack. Gordon has ranged attack.

The text scrolls on the bottom. Gordon used ranged attack. Parentheses humiliate. It was highly effective. Yeah, it was incredibly effective. Is that how it goes? I'm picturing all this on one of those little emoji pet things that go from a a keychain that's the gameplay i'm imagining so i do miss out of shape now although the ali thing shows us what he can do yeah i didn't look at it through the angle of training like but you know

he's hit a lot of mitts for that role yeah yeah like they take that shit seriously whenever they do one of those body transformation learning a technique things, like when you saw Jamie Foxx do Ray Charles or Joaquin Phoenix. I'm doing musical ones for some reason. But whenever you like Sylvester Stallone, he got huge for whatever boxing movie he was in. Yeah, I think he actually

did. He did a couple of movies. He got huge for like he just went on a fucking. That guy just likes getting big. He just picks roles where he can. Yeah, I think so, too. I'm all for it i like it uh but but stallone i don't think learned a box because like you watch stallone and he's just in there throwing punches like he doesn't really i'm sure there's somebody on set who's like yeah don't do that but but i don't think he went through like a camp the way that like people Will Smith's era do for movies. I'm glad you said era because I feel like it's a more current thing where people develop the actual talent.

Oh, I recently saw a YouTube video where Tom Cruise drove a Formula One car. Formula One cars, for reasons I barely understand, are apparently really hard to drive. I've been told that I couldn't get one around the track. I'm like, I don't know why. I drove a stick shift for like 20 years. It seems like very minute inputs have dramatic output.

Even so, why can't I get it? I'm not saying I'll get a good time. Why is it so undriveable that a normal person can't get it into gear? It has stall protection. What is happening? It's all paddle shift too, right? Even so, they're like, well, you don't get the

feedback that you do off a foot. I don't know. I've got a clutch lever on my bike with the hand and sometimes it's the foot. Why is it that I'd have such a hard time letting out the clutch? I think it's what everyone does when they have a thing and they're like, don't even try to do it you get three years from now maybe you'd understand you'd understand why you're bad like

i don't get it like no one would tell me that's got to be keeping give me an afternoon i can drive that thing around the fucking track i'm not exactly i can get it around the track anyway i saw tom cruise drive it and he kicked ass driving this formula one car and his time was getting better and better and people were like kind of um you know praising him apparently days of thunder and other roles like that this guy's comfy at a racetrack like he knows what's up so zach wrote something here it takes a high level of technical knowledge to operate an f1 car the car is designed to be driven at high speeds and is not intended to be comfortable. Oh no. If you're driving at a slow speed, you'll have trouble making any turns since the car won't turn easily. Here's one thing I know. It is difficult to get heat into the tires. It doesn't work well at low speeds. I'm a new F1 fan. The things that make a Formula One

fan the things that make a formula one car tires hot are one using the brakes a lot because the the radiant the disc brakes radiate heat and they warm up the tires and the other thing is going fast you wouldn't think that but um the downforce pushes down on the like the whole tires and it makes them sort of deform so you can just picture that like movement like they get sticky it's not just the... Yeah, they get sticky when they're warm. That's what, yeah. Yeah, but the reason... That's why you want them warm.

But to get them warm, you either have to use the brakes a ton, which is hard to do at low speeds, or you have to go really fast because it pushes them down and that makes them get heated up. It's interesting they don't do a burnout like in drag racing

to get those things toasty. Or just hold the brakes down the straightaway. I don't know why that's not a good idea i i would i'm surprised that the brakes are a big part of warming the tires in nascar you know have you ever do you know what they do in nascar to keep them warm they do the zigzag when they're on caution laps like like i think that that like turning is what really like makes a tire like get warm it creates a lot of friction with turns obviously or at least turning is an option at low speeds. Right. You know,

so, so anyway, I'm not saying I'll be able to operate the car well enough to get it to perform optimally with its warm tires. I'm just saying, I don't see why I can't get it to go around the turns. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I've

driven a lot of silly things and like, I haven't driven anything yet that was like impossible mode like like like unless it's like that remember that thing from south park that had like a dildo up your ass and you're in the middle of one wheel that you if you tell me i can't get is there a way to make this without the dildo well i suppose we could like i know for sure i can't get a unicycle around the track you know i'm gonna have to learn to ride a unicycle first and probably build up some stamina driving a unicycle around this 1.2 mile track imagine the core strength yeah have you seen electric unicycles

the fact that such a thing exists it's like they're awesome so so they're not quite like you think uh picture uh the whole electric user cycle is only two feet tall right it doesn't have a big seat instead it has platforms that sit like six inches off the ground and when you lean forward they go like a segue when you lean back it goes backwards people rip on those things they take them to skate parks. They go 45 miles an hour. 45 miles an hour on one wheel. Yes! Dude, my friend has one. It seems to be in that class.

It's very hard. Just getting it going is hard because you stand on one side. So forgive me, but I don't see a seat. I see a handle. handle right you stand on the platform that's towards yeah you flip that up and it goes in your ass so this unicycle doesn't have a seat right you just stand on it and you tip forward and it goes and your hands don't go

anywhere right you're there you would never say reach down and have like like you know how you ride a bull how you got that one hand down and maybe the other for balance like like that's not that looks so goddamn dangerous i can't like i saw somebody use one of those electric scooters on the highway uh going like 50 60 and and like i thought that was like he was wearing a helmet though i thought that was the stupidest thing i'd ever seen but this is by far the dumbest thing i've ever seen did you pull this photo from like a like 10 15 seconds of that with no audio please maybe we'll get away with it these things what people people take them off road and they jump they take them to half pipes but here's a guy just ripping around at mach one zach will show in a second

all that shit sounds cool but i'm talking about this. Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude. Look at him zipping around. He's going to cut some little kid in half. He just ran a stop sign. He just ran a stop sign. Oh, it lagged there.

I'm watching a compilation of people borderline killing themselves downhill with these right now. When you fall, you think hitting an obstacle and flying off a bike is bad. These people are landing half a football field away from this thing when they eat shit. Unlike a bike where they're kind of pitched

forward off a bike, these guys like they're slipping on a banana peel just head crack like just right by. is this is a death wish this guy just fell off and his slid forward and almost killed someone else these are a blast and they're expensive too like a good one can be like three or four thousand dollars so it's a little tricky to get into like like i guess it's like motorcycles you know in that class but um yeah they're totally badass they're very powerful and there is a steep learning curve to get it's wild i was that

gasoline powered i you probably electric why not make it gasoline powered at that point right like like that'd be fucking cool like start that bad boy up like might as well be at least people hear you coming so So yeah, I think you enjoy the motor, but the electric is kind of nice too. Like it always works perfectly. You know, it,

it's easy to maintain, I guess. Oh, here's a guy in an off road. Oh gosh. Would you show the opening? I probably was going to be a crash. Yeah.

Yeah. Pretty bad. So the first crash on this this but imagine he didn't crash oh this genius has like no protective oh my god oh it's awful oh at least he had fucking motorcycle gear wait the first one didn't no i'm at like 50 seconds the one that uh like i have an aversion to road rash so i don't like these. At least that's dirt. The one at like 40 seconds, if we can show that, the guy going down the...

Where is it? Yeah, go to 40 seconds. The guy is flying. He might be in the middle of dying by the end of this clip. He's writhing. What did you say the top speed was? Oh, man. Okay, this guy.

In the 40s. This is who I was talking about, actually actually there's one after this so much worse he's on the ground like we're reacting to a react video someone needs to react to this like two minutes and 30 seconds like like do that. Okay. Do that one, dude. Oh, yeah. Okay. 230. This is a death. They're in a tunnel of some sort. Look how fast he's going.

Quickly becoming a catacomb. I appreciate the moto gear, though. That's the move. If people don't know, it's built to slide on asphalt without getting hurt. Well, don't pause. Oh, yeah. Look, he's fucking... Look at this. Alright, that's good that's good these are wild though all right so like i these are so stupid i know when i take my bike out that i'm taking my life in my hands you know like i was thinking

about this when i drove my car the other day i was like man i feel a thousand percent safe in this bitch i i know like i'm not there on my motorcycle yet like i feel like i'm like 90 safe or something like that you know like it tops out there yeah okay well then i'm there i'm a master um but but but like at least on that bike like first of all laying one down is like just probably shouldn't ever happen but but I understand when that needs to happen versus just like, I know how my bike can stop. I've got my bike up going fast now and fucking stop that shit. It'll stop.

It's fucking cool. When you're going to do a real stop from 50 miles per hour to zero as fast as you can, you got to hang on first. You have ABS, right? I remember I... I'm looking for the right word. you gotta get you gotta hang on first because that bitch you have abs right i remember i i'm looking for the right word fervently advised you to get abs oh i was so on board yeah yeah that that is the move especially for a new rider because if the front wheel locks up

it's a bad scene yeah and the and um when i got my license or whatever like we we did not have abs so i learned what locking brakes felt like like the goal was to lock the brakes to lock the rear brake obviously yeah and you know the end and in our emergency stops there which were like 35 miles per hour to zero the back tire would drag and i could even feel it like like do a little fishtailing thing if i if i really got on it but with my bike it's like oh you wanted to stop i got you bro it'll fucking do it man i probably i haven't done it a lot but i needed to know what it was like like it's probably not good for the brakes it can't be but like i wanted to know what i could do versus like oh this is a fucking get on your side type thing like like i don't i don't think that scenario is ever going to happen but i think

that scenario does exist maybe i practiced emergency braking last week i was like you know how long has it been since you really took it from 50 to 0 as fast as you could like if you in a car there's not much to practice you just press the pedal like it's not really a it's not a sport but uh on a motorcycle it's like well you haven't done this in ages you should do it right now so yeah i like to like it's important for me to like have that sort of mental memory because i know what my car i'll do i like there's a scenario for example in my car where I rip off to the right or left to avoid hitting something right like I'm like oh my car isn't capable of braking before I get to there

the only other option is left or right now is which is it you know like that's where my brain is automatically going to go and that because I've trained it to but sometimes I go go ahead no it's basically sometimes there's i might choose left or right because i don't know that the guy behind me is going to be breaking like a one i'm two like i can go to this the shoulder here and then give that guy an extra car's worth this cushion yeah i've chosen that usually when i'm in like a traffic scenario where like especially on the interstate when it's like we were going full speed but now like i can see it coming i see the tail the tail lights a quarter mile away it's coming to me i know we're about to go to 20 from 70 and it's like i'm i'm not looking in front of me because i know i'm giving myself enough room there i'm in the rearview mirror making sure that he's like not still coming like like not like gaining at like

50 miles per hour because i'm gonna have to do some shit right yeah yeah i uh i've gone i've done over a million miles for sure with zero collisions i've never i haven't backed into anyone since um i think since uh it was in my yard when i was a kid when i didn't have a license um i've i've been lucky and uh but i'm also like really fucking careful and like especially in atlanta you can't assume that people are going to do the right thing i think that's where a lot of people mess up they're like hey i'm in my lane who cares about anything else hey it's green i'm going forget the rules like you obey all the rules but assume that no one else is going to at all

times because I've had so many people just come into my lane and so many people run red lights. Just driving or motorcycle or both? Both. Just in vehicles in general, just on the highways. I've done so much highway driving, just the interstates across the country. People are highway hypnosis and

zoned out, sleepy. They'll just come right into your lane you gotta be ready to hit them with the horn and like get them off you or just dodge them i've dodged so many people so i had something else i wanted to to get to so as you know harley great friend of the show great guy he is participating in idubbbz boxing event and he's taking on Egoraptor who I have not heard of that guy in many years he made like those cartoon videos way way back in the day on YouTube I don't know what he's up to now he must be a big guy to get paired up with Harley but Harley was tweeting saying like people think I'm not yeah okay Harley's like six five six six isn't he like

he's a very big dude and Harley was like like, people are joking saying, I'm not taking this serious. I am starting my training. I'm taking this super seriously. And Sam Hyde, who did not get invited to the I dubs event was like, Hey, Harley, come train with me before the fight.

And Harley posted their text. And he was like, okay. And so he is going to Sam Hyde's house I think in like fucking Delaware or something Rhode Island to train boxing with him presumably under a bridge and

get ready for this fight and it is I am praying that they allow Sam Hyde to be in Harley's corner as a form of coach during it that would be hilarious. I'm hoping Sam Hyde isn't pranking Harley because that's not inconceivable. It's not ever inconceivable with that dude,

but I think he is using this as a way to, despite Idubbbz not wanting him involved, to get involved. And I hope it's going to be very funny. I look forward to after this having harley on again and getting any insane stories about sam hyde's behavior his training tips like what did uh i retweeted it in mayweather you gotta think tyson yeah like uh keemstar who like follows all the drama stuff, he said, you know, breaking Harley plays, just hired Sam Hyde, a.k.a. Atwigger, as part of his training camp to get ready for Creator Clash.

And Sam Hyde quote tweeted it and said, getting mentally ready for this by watching Brazilian murder videos. Whoever the guy Harley is fighting is fucked beyond belief. You know he's the guest tomorrow, right? Harley? Yeah, Harley is yeah i thought i thought it was someone else but you're probably right because i'm not sure i am i could be totally wrong for some reason i had that in my head uh you're totally right you're oh excellent i would have been mad if i was wrong um no that'll be good and and moreover like maybe harley can except for the tomorrow part. Well, for me, it's tomorrow. What time zone are you in?

See, Woody, what he means is he's only got one sleep until then. The idea that you think time zones have anything to do with how we each experience time. I'm very confused. Woody and I have two sleeps before that. No, I'm experiencing time dilation. For me, it's like one day. Time moves faster for me. Okay. The more massive

an object is, the... Kyle's actually older than me. I'm gaining. I'm gaining. That's how it works. One day every two? That's how it works day every two i don't know that's how it works uh he looks younger because he's experienced his time differently anyway i was thinking that it would be cool to see if we can get harley to introduce us to sam high and maybe get him to like

come on here uh at some point more that because i would like to speak to that gentleman he is fucking weird as shit uh i think he might be a genius um uh just know he like i've listened to podcasts with him on it it is oh i know what we're getting believably difficult interview because he's not going to give you any sincerity because that would destroy his brand of being a lunatic and and you know edgy and whatever no if he came on if we came on we would not interview him we would not do a standard show in fact I don't even think we should do the intro. We should just start recording when he gets here, and we should edit that into an episode.

But when he gets here, we should all be dressed up as like army recruiters from different branches and immediately start recruiting him to our respective branch. And he's just like, that would throw him, and he would have to play along. I mean, he's ready. He's already said before. Something like that is what I'm saying.

He said before, he's going to name his son U.S. Marine Hyde to ensure that he's always given respect. I already have. I'm proud of you, U.S. Marine Hyde. From the moment he was born. Is there a U.S. Marine Hyde here? dude you gotta watch that i dubs like the end of that i watched that documentary i watched both of them i did all my homework taylor i watched the i dubs one for an hour then i watched sam hides for two hours

jesus christ no i don't feel bad considering i paid her 500 to pretend to be my girlfriend what that's so fucking funny i i hope that harley and and sam make some funny content together that would be be great i hope harley will buy in harley's a hilarious guy in his own right you want a little ukraine news yeah sure so uh you know the abramovich guy who used to own was it chelsea whatever football club um and he's a russian oligarch he sold it after pressure came down you may have seen him on tv he's a bearded guy um okay you know fine looking fella maybe 50 years old or so and uh he got poisoned this week because he was part of like the ukraine thing like like i guess there was some at the ukrainian he was part of the Ukraine thing. I guess there was some...

He was at the Ukrainian negotiations for some reason. And him and several of the Ukrainians all got poisoned. And they're saying it was just a warning poisoning, though, because it wasn't deadly. Listen to this. It's not deadly. It just makes the skin peel off your hands and face. And then all the other uh things it does to you sounded like the worst shit that like a prescription medication could do you know at the

end of a commercial when they're like upset stomach bloody stool incontinence infection of the perineum you're like what like that kind of stuff do they know what they gave them no they just said it was making the skin peel off their faces so did they know if it was the ukrainians or the russians that did the poison it was the russ peel off their faces. So did they know if it was the Ukrainians or the Russians that did the poisoning? It was the Russians. I mean, they want you to think that. Well, they poisoned Ukrainians and Russian oligarchs who have spoken against Putin. So only Putin enemies really got poisoned.

Yeah, false flag attack, maybe. That's a warning poisoning. A warning poisoning is so confusing to me. That doesn't... How do you warning poison someone? How do you know how much is the right amount? It's not deadly. You use a poison that doesn't kill. You use a poison that makes your skin peel off.

A warning poison? That's just so... I've never heard of that. Think about it, though. It's such a good warning. It's the same as putting a horse head in somebody's bed. It's saying, I can get to you anytime i want like that could have been i could have put i could have pissed in there if i'd wanted i could put cyanide in there if i'd wanted

but i just put that exfoliant in there and they couldn't have warning put cum in my food like i could get over that you just have to know by taste that would be like such a almost a cell phone you take like the tiniest bite of your lobster bisque come there's come in here have you been eating salsa i taste the cum of a slavic man roman ab Abramovich, the close associate of Vladimir Putin and the Ukrainian negotiators, developed red eyes, constant and painful tearing and peeling skin on their faces and hands. After a meeting in Kyiv, the Wall Street Journal reported Monday, citing people familiar with the matter. So I guess red eyes and constant painful tearing and peeling skin yeah don't lead with red eyes idiot no one gives a fuck about that red oh i hope they're gonna be okay it's a warning poison it gave them gas and painful

tearing skin yeah it's like why did? Causing nausea and lesions. Causing flatulence and bursting into flames. Can I just say, my guess is that their eyes are completely red because a layer of their eye flesh has peeled off. Because it sounds like they got gassed in some way. Or some aerosol got them, maybe. Since it's just on the parts that are exposed right that's what's hurt where did they say hands and face

at some sort of negotiation thing they're doing in the Ukrainian capital well that it couldn't have been because then everybody in the room would have got sick they did they probably caught them even the Russians the Ukrainians oh it wasn't an

and then the other thing is like we don't know when they were exposed they're like we don't know what room happened and like like maybe they just did it to all of their fucking hats in the coat room we don't know that's something relevant here after eating chocolates and drinking water oh not that food based dude if i'm if you're eating chocolates at a at a at a at a negotiation with russia you've already proven yourself to be just not a not an opponent that we need to respect okay yeah why are you eating taylor back me up here if i'm i would have eaten chocolates i would it's not charcuterie okay it's it's it's some dirty slav chocolate. It's that yellow bar of chocolate from Tarkov.

If it's milk chocolate with something pink in the middle like you might get on Valentine's Day, I'm not going to survive these negotiations. Oh, yeah. I would absolutely. It was meant to be a warning poisoning and you cleared the whole platter? What the fuck is wrong with you? You got any more? I'm not going to die.

Oh, no. I I'm gonna be itchy. They're over there shocked at the amount of poison nougat you've ingested. You know what? I'm gonna go puke. I'm gonna go puke and rally. Get some more of that. They're not even mad anymore. They want to study you. Missouri hero saves Ukrainian leaders

by taking the chocolate for himself. I don't even I'm not going to argue with you. I am a hero. Are you eating the poison chocolate? Would you like some regular chocolate? I've developed a taste. Did you see how,

did you see Biden like getting his, all right, so admittedly. Rice and crispy treats. I stay away from the Fox News propaganda, but you watch one video, then they, I even told YouTube to keep Fox News away from me. I filed a restraining order against Fox News,

but somehow it gets through. And look, I'm going to be honest. Every time I watch a clip of Fox News, it rings true and it makes sense and they i can't fucking help it i just got to stay away from it because because that shouldn't be the case and it scares me what's making sense to you you know like like biden said in front of that fucking crowd he that putin shouldn't be in office and he can't remain in office i don't remember what he said but it sounded like he was going for regime change so then they're like are

you stepping back what you said no do you regret what you said no are you calling for regime change no i was just expressing my personal outrage as a human being it's like well served throughout your campaign you said when donald when you went after donald trump every fucking day you said president's words have meaning they have power where do you want to sit on this Biden like you said some crazy shit that you shouldn't have said oh no

oh no this is Biden's notes if you weren't advocating for regime change oh no this is okay I was expressing the moral outrage I felt towards this man i was not articulating a change in policy there you look at that he's some somebody somebody told him what i needed to say when they asked him the hard question it's even labeled tough putin putin

q a talking points i don't know if this is real or not but that is a bafflingly small amount of text you know why this is how could you all right first of all this is fake all right i called it before you told me zach but you know how i know this is fake immediately the text is too small for that old blind man to read it looks a little photoshoppy that's photoshop however those are his exact responses on those tough matters i i don't know how i got fooled for a second into thinking those were his notes but clearly they're not but but i'm sure he has some similar notes because that's what he said but it doesn't jive like why did you say that if you didn't mean it he's being so mealy-mouthed about the whole thing it's a little uh upsetting and i like how he's done the

whole ukraine thing i like that he didn't jump out in front of our allies in europe and be like get come on everyone behind me and decide what needed to be done. Of course, that would have been horrible. I'm okay with that. In general, I think Kyle and I are on the same page in that his words are kind

of shit. He's not an inspiring leader and he's making some gaffes, but his actions, I don't have much negative criticism around the actions he's taken. Whoaffes. But his actions, I don't have much negative criticism around the actions he's taking. Who is the decision maker, though, at this point? I line up with that, too. I don't know if Biden deserves credit for making good decisions

or assembling a good team, but I like what's happening. I like what's happening, too. I like that here's what's actually happening. If we look at it in black and white, what's happening to I like that here's what's actually happening at the if we like look at in black and white right like we're spending we have a Cold War right a proxy war right now with Russia and we are winning it oh so so one-sidedly right now because we haven't lost a single man all we've done is spent some money and the way the United States government and especially the

defense side views money. Well, that's just a stimulus package. Okay. You know, like that's how it's viewed. And that's that's that's how. Yeah. And anybody that works at Raytheon and their fucking families. Oh, yeah.

That'll trickle down. I mean, I mean, they're going to get your point. Yeah, it does trickle down to some extent. They're going to buy fucking cars and shit at the dealership and the salesman gets some money in his pocket. And they'll buy home. Oh, wait, that's unaffordable on a regular salary now. But they don't make regular salaries because we're killing

Russians with fucking javelins, so they're fucking rolling in it. Now those guys can buy homes. You made my point for me. Thank you, Taylor. Terrible point. You're the one who made it, Taylor. So we're winning this proxy war because we're expending

dollars in the form of literal dollars, because we're giving financial aid, but in the form of missiles and weaponry, etc. And what we're getting in return is destroying the public or the global image of our oldest rival, maybe not

our most facing rival right now. Our oldest rival is United Kingdom. I'd argue it's the western image more than the global image. I think that we are destroying Putin's image. There's going to have to be some kind of regime change if he

fucks this up. There's going to have to be some kind of regime change if he fucks this up. There's never been a Russian war that was lost that didn't immediately have a regime change afterwards, going back to the czars. So it's not going to look good. Even Afghanistan. Remember when they pulled out of Afghanistan and the USSR fell? So this is not looking good for Putin. He's got to find a way to frame this in a way that seems like victory and rather quickly but we're happy to have it drag on frankly. If there's anyone smart in our government they want to delay negotiations.

We may have done the poisoning. It would be smart for us to poison the Ukrainians to stymie negotiations to drag this on as long as possible. You're arguing against yourself. If it's something smart we probably didn't do it oh i i we probably didn't do it but but if i were president or the leader or the you know the cia chief i would have poisoned them i would have poisoned the ukrainians because if you if you can stymie the negotiations and drag this out this conflict out as long as possible the russians are bleeding manpower and materiel that they cannot replace. They cannot replace the materiel. I saw their stocks of extra tanks.

It's a graveyard. There are two manufacturers of tanks that exist in Russia. Shut down. They don't have ball bearings. Okay, they're not making any more tanks. They're not going to recover. I'm telling you, if you saw those tanks in that field, it looked like a junkyard. And they've only got so many tanks that work right now.

As long as this goes on, the better. It's beautiful for us. Kyle and I have very different talking points as potential presidents. Kyle's like, if I'm president, I will drag on the Ukraine thing extra long. That is not my platform. I would make the font bigger on iPhones. Font bigger on iPhones. Connor McDavid, we invade Canada, kidnap him, he has to play for the Blues.

That's unironically my thing. It's like, we're invading Canada, and we're not coming back until Austin Matthews and Connor McDavid. And I just start listening. And I'm like, you're right, Trudeau. It's not worth a war. Ship them over, bitch. Speaking of which. But you see my point, right?

Like from a geopolitical, like if we're like, if we care about the United States, if the U.S. really is coming first, right? If you're that kind of person, then like like my idea makes a lot of sense right like it needs to go on as long as i don't i don't think that that extending our conflicts there and our involvement in it in any way benefits the average american oh i think who cares about the fucking average american if you're the voters everyone does taylor we care about two people lockheed martin employees and radio employees if Don't forget about Boeing. What I care about as president, what I care about, I'm joking about who doesn't care,

but as your president, Kyle, I care about not only the well-being and prosperity of every American, but the United States is standing in the world and my ability to keep us safe and our enemies always, not just one step, but two steps behind. There's a reason that we spent so much money on those F-35s.

And I'm sure for the last eight years, we've already been spending another trillion on the thing that's better than that. We try to stay two steps ahead, right? And I like that. If crippling the Russian economy for decades to come can only be good for us. the Russian economy for decades to come can only be good for us. Making their military look bad, and making, more importantly, if you care about Raytheon and the boys, making their arms look bad on the global scale. Here's what's happening. Think about this. The Russian tanks, the Russian armament, all of their systems that they sell to all of these little countries all over the world, from South America to Africa, every conflict zone,

they're looking like shit on TV right now. This would be like, right now they're having a NASCAR race in Europe, okay? And the Fords are breaking down on the fucking starting line. Everybody but the Chevrolets are shitting all over them. I don't like this analogy. You don't? No, because the Fords are bad.

Because these little governments need to buy armaments. I only object to the fact that the Fords were the bad one, Kyle. What I'm getting at is that Russian tanks, Russian armaments, their systems, their tactics, these little countries will pay Russia to send guys over to advise them on how to fight, right? Even their tactics are looking less important on a global scale as a commodity. I have a related thing, Kyle. I looked at it through a slightly different lens. You're seeing Russian armaments, I think that's the word, Russian weaponry as being ineffective. I am thinking

perhaps the planet has moved to a place where lots of countries are beyond tank warfare. Negative. In the same way that in World War II, we discovered that destroyers, not destroyers, battleships weren't really the king of the ocean anymore. It was aircraft carriers. We might be learning now that unless you're fighting basically unarmed people with AK-47s, tanks are not the ticket because the anti-tank weaponry is incredibly effective and so much cheaper you got 30 million dollar u.s tanks rolling down the street and a half million dollar stingers taking them out it's a bad trade so um that's that that's not accurate the reason that this is happening to the russians is because of their tactics in

particular the way their rifle companies work they don't have anyone to defend those tanks and set up these perimeters. There shouldn't be people within range of some, some of the rockets in particular they're using are dummy rockets. They're like point and shoot. I can't remember the one it's called, but, but I've seen them knock out so many, that shouldn't be possible. There should be like guys securing the area.

The tanks are there to, as sort of a, a piece of cover and to take out heavy stuff, right? Not to deal with people. And they've got no air force overhead either. They're not doing that combined arms thing. When you do that, all the pieces work. There's a reason we're making another main battle tank, right? Part of it is because our tanks are always better than everybody else's tanks

as far as range and armor and everything. I'm still not convinced. I mean, I hear your words in your argument, right? Basically, dominate the landscape so much that the tanks aren't in danger. Well, the tanks are of limited value in that scenario, right? What I've heard is helicopters, people, something else, smart bombs or something in the day and then tanks roll in without resistance. So you need the armored vehicles

to not only carry your troops, but they've got those guns on them and stuff. The Bradley fighting vehicle would be the one, but you need the tanks to defend the Bradleys from any tanks that the enemy has and any anti-armament weapons that they've got, like those big emplacement things, right?

Just watching how we've done wars, like those breakdown videos, I don't know anything about military tactics, but it seems like you've got soldiers in those Bradley vehicles traveling with tanks in a formation, and they're supporting each other and defending each other

from specifically what they deal with, while simultaneously having, if they're dealing with having troop movements and helicopters and Air Force and recon and everything all working together. It's like they're all in the same WhatsApp conversation, right? I've never been a military planner.

I just feel like a tank is a really shitty replacement for a helicopter, which can really blast the bad guys. You want to talk about beyond sight weapon guys. You want to talk about beyond sight weaponry. You want to talk about having the advantage. Helicopters, they kill

everything and they do it really, really well. It's like chess though, right? You could say that about any one piece. I think that if you only had helicopters, then the enemy would just blow up your helicopters with air force and with their jets.

You need each piece to defend the other pieces from their weaknesses it seems like. If it was just helicopters, then they would just shoot your helicopters down. You need guys to defend. The helicopters are only there for a minute, right? That's true too. I was going to say high-flying

drones, they can loiter much better. I'm open to the idea that I'm wrong. I'm certainly not an expert in this. But I think that you should also be open to the idea that the battlefield's changed because it did for battleships and it might for tanks, too. I think that if...

A tank is just a ground battleship. I mean, people are saying that. But all the best military strategists in the world seem to agree that an army needs a main battle tank. Like all of them still do. You just heard me say that wasn't true. Are you not including me on your list? The Chinese have a main battle tank. The United States are developing a brand new one.

The Germans, the Brits, they all – what is it? The Brits have like a Leopard maybe or something like that? Or is it the Germans? Everybody has their own like main battle tanks. Germans tend to be cats leopard maybe or something like that? Everybody has their own main battle tanks. Germans tend to be cats, right? Am I wrong? Cats? Whose tanks are all cats? Oh, I don't know.

Jaguars? Tigers? Tiger is Russian, right? No, Tiger is German. Those are the really good ones of World War II, I think. Yeah. I hate to cut off our conversation, but we have to hang out. Yeah, we got to stop. What the fuck are we doing?

We got to hang out in like 20 minutes. We got to hang out in like 15 minutes, and I got to go eat something, or I'm going to be very cranky to everyone. Yeah. All right. We enjoyed. And if anyone from the Defense Department hears this, take notes. Yeah, yeah.

I'm teaching you guys. All right. PKN 397.