Painkiller Already - PKN 403

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 pkn403 hey boys how's it going good it's going pretty good i was i was enjoying kyle's tale from the the fedex man apparently these guys just the the world is their oyster they do whatever they want and we just live in their world they stab they force you to stab yourself in the arm with with the metal that they probably placed you in sabotage. You know what? That might be what I tell my attorneys. You were fleeing into your home. It's not a good angle
Starting point is 00:00:34 to show. You can see it right there. What if this was a Wings of Redemption scenario and he'd made the whole thing up and he was like, ah, there's no scar. There's no scar. Like, well, no, dude. Like, you showed me stitches. There's got to be a scar. At least a red mark. Nah, nah. thing up and he was like ah there's no scar there's no scar like well no dude like like you showed me stitches there's got to be a scar at least a red mark nah nah there's really nothing to see no no i just made up a lie with no roi there's nothing to gain just lying about being
Starting point is 00:00:59 injured yeah no it's i almost wish it was a little worse It's just all the damage was in the deep, not more than the surface. It looks so minor. It looks like you like. It doesn't look too bad. It looks like a, I mean, you know, it looks fine. Yeah. It's a man scar anyway. My FedEx guy was like, as soon as he got there with like 800 pounds worth of shit, he was like, is this somewhere I can use the bathroom?
Starting point is 00:01:24 And at this point i'm pretty sure he's not gonna help me get this stuff into my house and i'm look trt has some side effects and i'm a little edgy sometimes so i'll admit i was standing there i was standing there like already like ready to like i already i knew I was going to say. I'd already decided exactly what I was going to say. I was like, well, first, I was going to say, well, first of all, I think it's pretty fucked up that you're going to put 800 pounds worth of shit at the end of this driveway and then just drive away. You really are just the driver, huh? I'm surprised you got out. Why don't you just up in the dump bed you know i was gonna
Starting point is 00:02:06 go that route but but he was but he ran into my backyard and took a piss um and i was like excellent i can use this against him if he doesn't help me carry these fucking boxes i'm gonna tell i'm gonna tell him that he he pissed in front of children and and dogs and he asked if i could go to the bathroom and i assumed it was number one. My wife fainted. She hit her head on the way down. My wife fainted. And they're like, who's your wife, Mr. Myers? You're like, it was such a bad accident. All record of her is deleted.
Starting point is 00:02:36 It leaves a steamy pile in your driveway. She was my wife before your driver. She was so destroyed. There's literally no evidence. So he peed in your yard? He pissed in the yard, and eventually he helped me get some of it in, but I did the bulk of the heavy lifting.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I got the big box. I'd say it weighed 150 pounds at least. No, it was so heavy. He didn't carry a side of it? No. No, he didn't. There was three boxes, and one of them to be fair was like the denser of all the boxes like like everything in that box was legit uh but it
Starting point is 00:03:12 was like a two foot wide by two and a half foot long box it was like the bait and tackle shit like the stuff in the middle of the pulleys all hooked to he carried that i got the other two i wasn't mad but i wasn't happy at the same time like i wasn't gonna tip this guy at the end he was like he kind of stood around for a minute i think he wanted a tip and he was like this is a nice house i was like yeah i rent it and he's like he's like ah okay i was like you want something to drink her or something he's like nah it's like i'm not gonna give you five dollars for carrying 20 pounds up a driveway or whatever it ended up being.
Starting point is 00:03:46 It was probably heavy. I didn't give a shit, though. I was mad at him for pissing in my yard and for how late it was anyway. So, but no, I got it. And then I opened this brand new piece of machinery up and it's missing like key components. Like it's a cable machine. Didn't have any cables. That's the crux of the cable machine.
Starting point is 00:04:02 You need those. So I talked to- There's another box he didn't give you yeah that's what i thought this one costs five dollars it's in the truck in my complaint to customer service i was like i think i'm missing like a whole box of shit i'm like i'm pretty sure there's like steps on this thing and there's cables missing and i don't know where these rubber bushings are or how i would even replace them. What does this machine do? Is it the pull-up machine? It's the assisted dip pull-up
Starting point is 00:04:27 machine. It's a plate-loaded machine. It's like 80 inches tall and 3x3 11-gauge steel on the sides. And yeah, it didn't come with the fucking parts. But today I finally get them on real customer service on the phone
Starting point is 00:04:43 and he's like, alright, what I'm going to need you to do is get all of the little pieces and the instruction manual. I'm like, you didn't send me an instruction manual. He's like, oh, well, you will need to look one up online. And I'm like, I'm not doing any of that. I'm not doing any of that. I'm going to mail this back to you, and you're going to mail me back a brand new one. How about that? This is acceptable.
Starting point is 00:05:07 It was like a negotiation. I was like, it's acceptable. I didn't react to that, but he ended up sending it back anyway. So this is what you got? So every bit of that is on my garage floor or propped up in corners, in itty bitty pieces.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Except for the cables. Except for the cables. And I'm going to, And I don't know. I'm sure we've all taken a Christmas morning. I don't know about you guys, but I tear right into a new gift or package. That's what I did. I got my knife out.
Starting point is 00:05:33 I was a little careful, but I got in there. I have to put all that shit back in the boxes and mail it back to them. What a nightmare. I'm going to use so many rolls of duct tape. I'm going to make it funny. I'll take pictures when I'm done. Mr. Myers, why did you hot glue the entire thing together?
Starting point is 00:05:55 It's like sunken in a cubic foot of epoxy, like all the nuts and bolts. Yeah, that's actually better. Rubbed it down with honey. I'm glad they're doing that, though. That's that's cool. Them just to be like, yeah, just mail us that one back. We'll mail you a new one. I think they're based in Alabama or this is Titan. Yeah, I think they've got different different places, different.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I know that this machine actually I reordered it today, obviously, and it's going to be here Thursday. So two-day shipping and it's already in atlanta somehow so much faster than the first time around i had a bad workout today yeah it's next yeah it's sometimes you know i get in there and i just i don't want to lift it i'm not feeling it i'm even wondering if i can lift it like shit this is fucking heavy look at all the weights on the side and movement by movement set by set rep by rep i get through it and the other side it's like well all right you know i didn't kill it today there were no prs but i did it i did it when i didn't feel like doing it yeah you know right there yeah you know when my worst ones are it? It's always that pull day with chainsaws. I think that's kind of a – chainsaws for me,
Starting point is 00:07:12 or maybe I don't do them quite properly. I think there's just different ways to do some exercises. Like I'm moving that weight around one way or another. But anyway, my back sore when I'm done. I think I do a bit of cardio when I'm doing it because i'm really pulling it all the way up getting my elbow as far back as i can and then once my elbow is as far back as it can go i i i pull my shoulder back like i start flexing my whole shoulder back to like almost row it as far as i possibly could like i want to i'm getting that weight as close to the ceiling as i possibly
Starting point is 00:07:40 can with every bit of my like mobility and like skeleton and uh and by the time i'm not as big an event for me and i feel like i'm doing the same thing probably less weight i gotta make sure i eat enough carbs before i'm not i'm not kidding like like when if i'm on that day i'm like all right we're gonna eat a big bowl of rice and like a cup of rice and i'm gonna have like a whole cup of orange juice like half an hour right before this i need enough carbs to like fuel me through that fucking workout because i'll get shaky like if i don't like i've had a bunch of times where like because the chainsaws are followed by like low rows and then the low rows are followed by like pull-ups or
Starting point is 00:08:19 something and by the time i get to pull-ups if i haven't eaten 600 calories of carbs i'm shaking i've done so much work pull-ups i i like pull-ups usually but i do them first and i don't like to like fuck them up and there's no excuse there is no well you killed it on bent over rows no they're right after warm-up yeah so uh i backed off i just do three sets of 12 i do three sets of 12 quality pull-ups that's all you're supposed to do i used to do 12 12 into failure and and you know i get like 16 on the third set and uh right but like all right now that you've done that it's your new baseline for the rest of your life you're a 12 12 16 or at least do you have a 17th in you be careful bitch because that'll be your new baseline and it's just like fuck i like
Starting point is 00:09:14 i don't want that anymore and it's like half my injuries are from like don't going too hard on that like that's what the i've got a shoulder was i uh i got a shoulder thing right now i uh right shoulder again. I should really see the doctor and see what's actually going on in there, but I'm going to like be gentle with it and hope it heals on its own. But right now it's, uh, it's hard to do some stuff with my right arm.
Starting point is 00:09:34 I had a shoulder thing. So what, I'm sorry to cut you off, but mine, if I were to raise my arm sideways somewhere around midway through where the pain is. Oh, okay. Now, okay.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Now, if you do that and then with your elbow flared out and made a right angle, bring it across your body, that's about as far as I can go because it's hurting right now. If I keep trying to reach this over to my left shoulder and purely using shoulder rotation, that's all painful. Right now, this hurts. So your rotator cuff is aggravated. Well, here's what happened. using like shoulder rotation that's all painful like right now this hurts so you're like a two well here's what happened um but you don't want to turn that two out of ten into a five out of ten i got my new weight plates and i was like let's see what they look like on the bar and then we got them on there and it was like let's see what it looks like when we lift it above our head and it was like oh my god what did i do to my shoulder? And then I was like, And I even look good getting injured.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Yeah. And then I like wrap up and I go and I'm like making my like protein shake and it's like grinding down over there. And I'm like feeling like some clicking and popping and stuff. And I'm like, I think I'm a little out of socket here. I think maybe, what if I threw a punch? What if I threw a punch real hard? Would that pop her in?
Starting point is 00:10:48 I threw a good form, like right cross, full rotation, and there was a loud pop. I think there were two loud pops, if I'm being honest. I think it was like pop, pop, and there were two pains.
Starting point is 00:11:03 It was the sonic boom of your punch. That's exactly what it was. pop pop and there were two pains that were sonic boom of your punch. That's exactly what it was. I hit a ghost and knocked him further into this fucking into the, I brought him into the materium with the power I created. What I actually probably did is like janked up my shoulder much worse because I felt a pain in my shoulder. It was brief. I would say less than a full second of pain.
Starting point is 00:11:25 It was like, ow, ow, and then stop. But it was so severe that I broke a cold sweat instantly. It was like, oh! And then it stopped, and I was sweaty. And I was like, okay, let's not hit the heavy bag for a year. Let's not move this arm for a day. This was yesterday this happened? Day before yesterday.
Starting point is 00:11:44 So you're not working out you're taking it slow today's leg day um i didn't do anything last night last night was my birthday and i had like a whole dinner and stuff to do so today's leg day and uh so yeah take it slow man not worth fucking yourself up for longer than you have to so on youtube there are videos like the exam for shoulder pain and they will have you, this is my advice for you if you don't want to go to a doctor, which is probably actually good advice. But here's my advice. Instead, you do the exam for shoulder pain and you can do it yourself. They'll be like, go your arm like this, go your arm like this, you know, does it hurt to do this?
Starting point is 00:12:20 And you'll observe which things hurt you and which don't. With that, you know your injury. Having self-diagnosed from Google, like smart people do, you look at the PT associated with that injury. And that's the move. You're absolutely right. And that smart people thing, it's like, look, there's levels of intelligence. Like, I'm not fucking Einstein over over here but i could put ikea furniture together and i don't it's i joke about it being hard but it's not hard y'all it's hard because it's really obnoxious um yeah i'll tell you what it is if you're putting something together
Starting point is 00:12:55 um and you know when you're done your first move is going to be to throw the garbage away and get the fuck away from it that's not a fun assembly that's that's a great way to put it because when i'm putting like a piece of workout equipment together i'm not like dreading it i'm like oh boy after this i get to play with it but if it's like i'm putting an end table for my sun room it's like i'm getting this brings me no joy no joy oh now they match yippee i have a TV stand. It's made to take a flat screen TV and sit on it. So it's on wheels now.
Starting point is 00:13:30 I had this idea that I really like... I take those hour-long baths with all my nonsense soaking in and I was like, oh, it'd be nice to be able to wheel a TV in here rather than mount one on the fucking wall since I'm leaving in a couple months. This is months ago when I bought it. Anyway, that thing is still in the box sitting by my door,
Starting point is 00:13:48 never assembled. Meanwhile, but like I put that fucking workout thing together. I was just cutting into the box and like, let's get this thing together. Let's see what it looks like in the corner. You know what I did once? This is when I lived in the city at my old apartment. I went to Ikea and was like, I'm an adult.
Starting point is 00:14:04 I should have an end table next to my bed in my bedroom like a little end table for my phone and stuff i went i bought one i carried it into my living room and like just look and it brought me no joy just a simple bullshit thing and i was like you know what not right now right now. Let's play some Warhammer instead. I put it in my closet. I moved out and left it there. So whoever, and this, I moved out, this was 14 months later.
Starting point is 00:14:36 And so I just didn't have that the whole time. Just no end table. It's weird. It would have taken 25 minutes, but it was such a boring proposition. And I was like, oh, it's such a childish way. i'm doing like these little repairs that i need to do this place because chances are i'm gone in like 20 days i'm out of here i should be out of here by the end of the month um so i'm doing like the little repairs because i want my deposit back and i'm thinking like how long have
Starting point is 00:14:59 you been going with a toilet that runs why did you fix this like like this was so easy to like there's a toilet running in the guest bathroom and one of the drawers broke in the kitchen, but it wasn't an important drawer, so I was like, fuck you. I don't need you. I'll put the spoon somewhere else. How did you repair the running toilet?
Starting point is 00:15:17 You bought a new flapper? Plummy, yeah. From the store. I got the whole kit thing with the floater and it was a simple thing it wasn't a big deal whereas what i had been doing because i'm a let's get it done right now i don't give a fuck about consequences i'll like reach down and turn the fucking valve off at the bottom and then every time and then i'll go take a piss and i'll take a piss flush turn it back on and then turn it back off you know fill the tank back up this is this makes sense in my mind what a time saver
Starting point is 00:15:53 so much that i ruined the valve and those are bad valves aren't they that valve is made to go on off 10 times in its life. I do it every day. It's like one of those secrets of success billionaire time-saving tricks. No, pissing in the sink. That's the secret to success. Oh, my God. I bet you did that. I bet you did that with the broken toilet.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Every restaurant. I was at a very nice restaurant last night. They had a copper basin right in there. You know, American restaurant bathrooms are bullshit. They're not good enough. They're like third world country. I'm joking about pissing in the restaurant bathrooms, by the way. Don't kick me out of your restaurant.
Starting point is 00:16:35 We've all done it. It's like a third world country. If you go to IHOP and check out that bathroom, it is garbage, bullshit, bad. You know what I think? Speaking of a nice bathroom is funny. I was out of town for a friend's bachelor party, and one of the mornings they all went golfing, and me and a couple other guys weren't really in the mood,
Starting point is 00:16:51 so we went out and got some seafood. And one of the dinners with the big group of guys, by the way, everyone thought I was memeing about ordering three entrees of crab and then doing that, and they all watched me. A couple of them didn't know me and were like my god dude like which but not in like a whoa this guy's cool way and like who the fuck is this guy way kind of like the same way you reacted when i ate that entire jar of nacho cheese yeah exactly yeah but so i was at this place it was afternoon time and just chilling having
Starting point is 00:17:23 having a couple drinks having some oysters and i go in there to take a piss middle of the afternoon and i don't even really have to shit like i could it's like a three out of ten need to shit i go in there and ceiling to floor doors wooden doors in the stalls and you think that little area between oh then they probably have that foot area no it was probably whatever the smallest legal amount they can do in that state is to allow the water flow through it was wonderful they played music
Starting point is 00:17:53 like in any other context would be too loud in the bathroom you want it booming it was pleasant it was nice bathroom shit it needs to be just quiet enough that you can scream for help. That's it.
Starting point is 00:18:09 If I can't beat it out to scream for toilet paper or something if there was an emergency. Public bathrooms are a perfect example. Were you beating it out in this public bathroom? I'm sitting there beating off. This is the best bathroom ever. No one can hear me masturbating loudly
Starting point is 00:18:25 i'm a bit of a screamer at the end come out of the bathroom police were there like this is six-year-old in the stall the whole time he was that was ancillary to what i was doing i didn. I didn't know what was going on out there because of the security. They're like in court with a mock-up. Sex criminal. If anything, that little kid was throwing off my mojo. I was having a hard time.
Starting point is 00:18:59 I'm not a sex criminal. I'm countersuing for cock blocking. No, public restrooms are like this perfect representation of why as a society as a society we need guide rails guardrails i should say um it's it when you let people loose you see what happens like they can't handle it now i i've told the story about shitting all over that bathroom that time that was clearly a one that's the only time it's happened in my life i'm 36 all right it's happened once okay in 36 years happy birthday but i thank you very much i see it everywhere though like like there's no way that every time i see a bathroom that's been
Starting point is 00:19:40 fucking auschwitzed that the the situation was that, oh, someone had their once-in-a-lifetime spray shit everywhere moment last night, clearly. No, there aren't enough people for that to work out. It just doesn't add up. Some people are getting their card punched for rewards for how many bathrooms they're in.
Starting point is 00:20:00 It's awful because I always think of the people who have to clean that up. Of course. Yeah. Like Jesus Christ, you know, and some people will say that's somebody else's job. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:20:10 no, it is no one's job to clean your spray diarrhea off the wall. There's a guy who's responsible for cleaning the bathroom, but he never fathomed that a piece of shit like me exists. I still feel bad about that. If I could have thrown money in the air as I ran, I would have. That guy goes from thinking it's the best day of his custodian life to the worst
Starting point is 00:20:35 as he's following the money trail. It better be a trail of fives if it's going to be worth it. It better be long. Oh man, everything's coming up Jimmy today. trail of fives if it's gonna be worth it and it better be long oh man everything's coming up jimmy today so where did uh where'd you go for your birthday meal your big fancy birthday uh it's a restaurant in atlanta uh zach can probably find it's called 101 little alley i think i may have that like the words moved around but something like that. It's a pretty nice steak place. It's nothing crazy, but I got the progression
Starting point is 00:21:08 of New York strip, I think. It's like three servings of three, four ounce servings of strip with one is just one is dry aged, one's wet aged, and one is something else, like just standard, like not
Starting point is 00:21:24 aged, I guess. It's pretty tasty. S great desserts great uh it's a nice place what does wet aged mean they put it in a sous vide bag and they age it that way and and uh so the juices kind of go in and out as it's aged and it ends up with a more buttery flavor i know that because i asked roshanda last night and she hooked me up. And I remember things like that. The sommelier came over and I ignored his weird ass. Like, there's no way that's a real French accent. This is Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:21:57 You're like, I'll have a Coke. Yeah. I'm like, I'm pretty sure Riesling doesn't go with steak, but I'm no expert. I know that red goes with steak yeah that's a white and a sweet one at that but uh but no it's a good time a good time nice restaurant good good birthday i guess as far as birthday days go i don't really do anything for those don't really celebrate i don't think i got any gifts um no i didn't um my uh my mom sent me a text message though that was nice of her
Starting point is 00:22:27 and I think that's it of course I sent her the text message you know that see Mother's Day and my birthday are like the same I think one of them is supposed to be like a certain Sunday of the month but they're often either the same day or like right next to each other so it's real easy to
Starting point is 00:22:43 make sure we hook each other up with that yearly text appreciating one another. We just don't really do birthdays in my family. I kind of wish we had. I've always been waiting on either of my parents to complain about... Are you the oldest child?
Starting point is 00:23:01 The oldest from my nuclear family, yes. But my father had children from previous marriages um they suck though i mean my dad my dad was getting that old pictures the other day like old pictures like like 30 40 50 years old and stuff like he's like this is my dad when he was little he's got like pictures like that like always black and whites and uh he pulled one out and i was like who's that ugly baby and he's like oh that's it was his other son we both laughed at how ugly he was great i i do like that's so interesting when you see like an older family members pictures of like their grandparents my
Starting point is 00:23:37 grandpa has one of those because i mentioned he grew up rural missouri as a farmer and there's just like pictures of his like well not many pictures like two because you didn't get your picture taken of like his grandpa just like like like old west like standing next to like back before they knew how to take photos like the people sitting in that photo none of them had ever had their photo taken clearly and probably never did again but like talking to him be like grandpa what year was that he's like man, man, 1877, probably. It's like that. That's so bizarre. And then it makes me think like, I don't know fucking shit about that guy.
Starting point is 00:24:12 And he's only like a few generations back. In a few generations, you're just kind of in that mass of previous humanity. We're done with that, though. Yeah, we're done with that. Oh, no. Because we're more recorded? Yeah, yeah. But people still don't know you or care about you
Starting point is 00:24:25 but your descendants can if they want like like your great great great grandchildren can watch this episode like they there might be even a way to search like did my great great grandpa would ever talk about his ancestors and look my great great great grandchildren are gonna watch road to woody's wife and be like, he got drunk at 12 years old and finger backed in finger banged a fellow seventh grader. My great great grandfather was cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Yeah. Yeah. Um, or maybe not. Maybe at 12, everyone will be doing cooler shit than that. They'll be like, man,
Starting point is 00:24:59 my great, great, great grandfather was bad at video games. I'll knife you. Yeah, no, anyway. It's funny, the shit I have on mine. Yeah, I think that's over. I think our descendants will know their ancestors much better.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Obviously, there's going to be... Look, you talk about there's three photographs of your great-great-grandpa that exist. You took three today probably jesus like you know like like we're just we're just we i don't personally but so many people yeah you're always on you should see taylor's facebook it's just selfie selfie selfie just duck faces and i do take progress pics almost every day that's a good thing on progress probably lately no you're not you when you sent that text earlier like that's that's like the crux of probably what separates like finding success in lifting versus not is forcing yourself to do those days where you're like this shit fucking sucks like i'm not in the mood this is boring like when you finish those workouts it's
Starting point is 00:26:03 like a better reward almost like you may not like you said you don't hit prs and you may not feel like you left 100 out there but it's like like i'm a million percent further ahead than i would have been if i would have been fucking off upstairs you know on the couch it's yeah i i i always go back to that like there's so many pieces that go into me starting my workout that once i start them, it's almost like a launch sequence. That's what it is. It's a launch sequence. And it begins an hour and a half before I'm going to work out.
Starting point is 00:26:34 And I eat then. And then an hour later, I'm injecting stuff. And then 30 minutes after that, it's caffeine and pre-workout. And then for like five or ten minutes right before, I do my jazzercise. And then it's go time. You get into the spirit of it with the jazz. You feel the rhythm, and then the rhythm feeds you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:00 The rhythm of the night. I'm a big Patrick Swayze fan I just watch Dirty Dancing that's how I get pumped up I watch Dirty Dancing yeah Roadhouse and Dirty Dancing back to back every day
Starting point is 00:27:19 that movie sucked Dirty Dancing, terrible you hated Dirty Dancing? hated it I remember after junior prom sucked. Dirty Dancing. It's terrible. You hated Dirty Dancing? Hated it. I remember it was like after junior prom or whatever the fuck, we all went back to this girl's house and a bunch of us were all like, no, it's late.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Let's wind down with the movie. And all the girls outvoted by numbers that put on Dirty Dancing and it was just brutally bad. Not funny. No jokes. No shooting. It's not a comedy. It's not an action movie. But when you're 16
Starting point is 00:27:50 or 17, you're like, what's this? No one's being shot. I watched the surfing movie Endless Summer. There were no car chases. There was no shooting. The movie sucked. I have two movie not even recommendations because one of them is just a
Starting point is 00:28:05 weird movie i watched that you only want to like fast forward to get to the good parts or the weird parts that one is untamed it is a uh spanish language film um that involves an alien who crash lands into mexico and uh apparently he's just a real good lay. This tentacle alien is just fucking this lady and some other people throughout the movie. Is this on Netflix, HBO, or Pornhub? I think I actually had to sign
Starting point is 00:28:36 up for a subscription service called LatinX. But I immediately did that thing where it's like unsubs it's like it's like get our service for a week and then we'll charge you eight dollars to watch spanish language porn and it's not porn but it's close enough and i was like i got you it is tentacle porn the opening shot is a lady coming and then you look down and a tentacle flops out of her vagina that's the opening shot of the movie.
Starting point is 00:29:06 That's what got me into it. Untamed. Opening pussy shot? That is bold. You don't see the pussy very well, but you clearly see a tentacle flop out of her pussy. And then there's one scene where it's like cradling her in its tentacles. And it's like that tentacle porn, like animated stuff,
Starting point is 00:29:22 where it's like DPing her. There's one going down her throat, fucking her. But it's also, like, holding her up with others. And then it's clearly just railing her out with the other. And she is loving it. Okay. Yeah. But then there was also this other. I was fast forwarding, but I'm pretty good at picking up plot points.
Starting point is 00:29:38 It seemed like her husband. Picking up plot points as you fast forwarding. Yeah. It's VHS. you can't see what's going on you're just seeking no it's fucking no we're online I'm not VHS how shady do you think this movie is
Starting point is 00:29:53 you know how on VHS you can fast forward little bits and you can see the frames going faster you can on Amazon I can see the frames we get to the part where like it looks like her husband's like gay I guess, and he's having an affair with her brother, who's also gay. And in the end, I'm pretty sure the alien rapes and beats them both to death,
Starting point is 00:30:13 both men, plus another woman. It rapes and beats her to death, too. But our main girl, she's just like... Is it a Chinese movie? No, it's Spanish. So the whole time, the technical monster was just misunderstood. They were brown people, not Asian people. There's a movie called Untamed as well that seems to be
Starting point is 00:30:30 a Chinese movie. Oh, maybe the Chinese knockoff. They love their tentacle porn. It's not helping me find the seed. Oh, and then the other one is what I actually recommended. Because that's a terrible movie that I'm suggesting. If you want to see the tentacle nonsense, that's what I did. I thought it was wild.
Starting point is 00:30:49 But L.A. Confidential was what I suggested to you the other day, Taylor. Yeah. I really hope you watch it. I promise this is going to be a winner. I will watch that one. I want to do movie talk. I saw Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange is the latest Marvel movie.
Starting point is 00:31:07 I don't want to be spoiled. You're not going to do that, are you? I know that a lot of characters are coming back. And I've been doing my best not to see all the characters that are coming back. And I've already seen two of them. And I'm sad. Say which two those are. And you won't. No and I'm sad. Say which two those are, and you won't.
Starting point is 00:31:26 No! I'm trying to help. I'm trying to. When Kyle says he doesn't want any spoilers, he means that to the very extreme. So I'm thinking before I talk. I didn't love Doctor Strange to the extent that I'm wondering if I'm falling out of love with the entire Marvel Universe. I look forward to your feedback, too.
Starting point is 00:31:49 I don't like Doctor Strange as a character. I like Cumberbatch as an actor. I think his character is kind of dry. He's like a less funny Tony Stark who's like stuck up even though he always fuck shit up like he acts like he's way better at his job than he is that's actually pretty true um there's that I'm not gonna again think before you talk this is good uh it's a good attribute in people uh i wish that dr strange got the thor treatment where they threw a little humor in i believe that cumberbatch cumberbatch cumberbatch i think is is capable of delivering the same kind of performance thor did in ragnarok yeah um
Starting point is 00:32:39 they just haven't sent him in that direction yeah Yeah, he's a very, very good actor. I don't really care for the kind of serious movies that he makes because they're like period pieces where he's wearing lots of makeup and stuff. He's usually an old mean man or something. He's an old mean white man. But he seems like he's an excellent actor. He definitely has the range to do that. But I don't know. I guess maybe Doctor Strange is just kind of a lame guy.
Starting point is 00:33:04 I will say this. I saw that you've already seen it. Taylor doesn't know. Maybe Doctor Strange is just kind of a lame guy. I will say this. I saw that you've already seen it. Taylor doesn't care. John Krasinski is going to be Professor Fantastic or something. His name is Mr. Fantastic, I think. He's the stretchy guy. He's the stretchy guy in Fantastic Four and also maybe
Starting point is 00:33:22 the smartest human in the world or something like that. I thought Iron Man was the smartest. He's second! Now he's dead, so doesn't move point. I think his other name is Richard Reed, maybe. Something close to that.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Sounds close. They were never very creative. I saw the comedians. This is a bit of a stolen joke. There's the Human Torch and he's the guy that catches on fire. There's Invisible Girl. She's the girl that turns invisible. What the hell is the rock guy's name?
Starting point is 00:33:56 The Thing. He's a rock thing. Then there's the Stretchy Guy. Is his name Stretchy Guy or Mr. Elastic? No. It's Mr. Fantastic. I'm like, I like your mojo, bro. It's like day two after they decide to become a group. He's like, good news, guys.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I got the website and chose all our names. I'm sorry. It's already out in the ether. It's the way it's going to be. I'm sorry. Do you have access to the domain registrar? I don't think so. it's going to be.
Starting point is 00:34:22 I'm sorry. Do you have access to the domain registrar? I don't think so. I watched, um, I watched an animated DC, uh, movie last night. It was,
Starting point is 00:34:31 um, the Batman Superman, uh, thing that's, um, it's on something. What is it? It's the one where he kills the Joe,
Starting point is 00:34:38 Superman kills the Joker and then goes rogue and like takes over the whole planet and like enforces his will. He like goes before the United, and he's like, your petty squabbles, your genocides, your wars, it ends. And everybody claps at first, but then Superman starts showing up and ending shit, and the generals are like, well, it was fine when he was going after terrorist scum, but sir, those were American drones he cleared out of the sky. He's fighting America.
Starting point is 00:35:08 It's pretty fun because Superman goes... Superman, global terrorist. He's Superman, global peacekeeper. He's injustice. That's what it is. Yeah, it's based on the video game storyline. And it's a movie? Yeah, well, yeah. Animated movie.
Starting point is 00:35:23 That kind of has my attention on hbo they've got a bunch of that stuff they have all the dc animation so like they have r-rated animation in there that i like i like you compare it to what if on the marvel series oh much better than that oh it's i enjoyed what it's a it's a it's a full-fledged movie and um basically here's this is a spoiler for the beginning but it's the first five ten minutes it's what sets things into motion the joker comes into metropolis and he finds uh lois and jimmy like doing their reporter sleuthing thing and his opening move is to shoot jimmy in the face and kill him and then harley quinn hits lois in the back of the head with her big hammer.
Starting point is 00:36:06 And Lois is pregnant with Superman's child. So then they hit this. So then Superman goes to rescue her. He finds the nuclear submarine that they've stolen and lifts it out of the water, goes in, and they hit him with Scarecrow fear toxin with kryptonite mixed.
Starting point is 00:36:22 So he thinks Lois is doomsday and he kills her with his unborn child inside of her he kills lois and then when her but there's a big scar on lois's chest and when her heart stops that signals a nuclear weapon that he had stolen from that submarine that that they were in and it destroys all of metropolis killing 11 million people and the superheroes only live because green lantern like throws up his green bubble and superman shows up and he's just like where's the joker where's the joker and everybody's like you need to take a breath here clark but as soon as he finds the joker he just like pushes his hand through the joker's body and fucking rips his heart out and uh and then batman's like why have you seen the is i think it was called college
Starting point is 00:37:15 humor day that the thing was superman and batman oh yeah all of it yeah for people who haven't seen it it's pretty funny uh batman is like you know oh the jokers got us again what are we gonna do and superman's like do you want me to take care of it i could get you what has he got like superpowers is he like the size of a planet like what's the joker's deal and then he uh he's he's like ruthless superman's like uh and so he just like, no, you don't get it. He's super,
Starting point is 00:37:47 super mean. It comes back in like a nanosecond and he's got the Joker by the collar. He's like, so just, just to this is, this is all you need. And then, uh,
Starting point is 00:38:00 and Batman's like, uh, Superman throws him up and he's like, and they're all like, did you just kill him? And he's like, Superman throws him up. And they're all like, did you just kill him? And he's like, wait. Oh, wait. Can you guys breathe or not breathe in space? All right. I guess I did kill him.
Starting point is 00:38:15 That's the joke. Can he breathe in space? No. That's my ultimate trick. Then he's very dead. That is, you know, I think that Superman killing the Joker is a form of punching down. Yeah, right. There's no competition for Superman at all.
Starting point is 00:38:34 The Joker is like a lot of his stuff wouldn't make national news. Like the stuff of like blowing up the hospital yes so you know how it works with comics though there's little stories and giant stories and everything in between the authors sometimes joker literally is like taking over the planet and then because he gets a hold of some interdimensional artifact or some nonsense and then sometimes he's literally like robbing a bank it's like it's like i wouldn't even do a crime that small like maybe if it's like a federal reserve i could get tempted in but like the joker's out there he's dashing dining and dashing it's funny to see the superheroes mature like i should say
Starting point is 00:39:20 their storylines which they get more and more and more powerful all the time and you can't really go backwards not not very often anyway so like spider-man he starts off as your friendly neighborhood spider-man it's spider-man against like two burglars at once how's this gonna work out is he okay what if the burglar has a a knife can he spidey web the knife away what if he's a bigger high school kid yeah it, that's like the first battle. The first battle is another high school kid. Oh, it's a jock! A jock. And then, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:52 like the last Avengers, he's literally like in space, taking on Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet, trying to prevent him from snapping it and destroying half of all life in the universe. Like, we've gone a long way since the neighborhood kids i like was that on the white list for that was he taking a risk that he could
Starting point is 00:40:11 have disappeared also no i'm pretty sure he knew he was safe yeah he was white list okay yeah yeah well then that's not okay he would literally be the only white list too and i wonder if they ever they should have that would have been a good point to make like what what about you is any chance that you die well no doesn't seem fair does it well i i guess i never thought of it that way but it wouldn't be friends right danos has a new show um on uh on amazon called outer range i think you know how, I try so hard to avoid spoilers, but I think what it's about is he's like a rancher out west, whatever that is, you know, like Montana. Who has the show? The guy that plays Thanos.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I literally thought Thanos. Thanos. In his armor, purple dude. Josh Brolin. I spoke poorly. That one is on me. You were explaining the only Marvel show I might have been interested in. I'm like, okay,
Starting point is 00:41:11 so he just goes into the general store and nobody asks about it. When the credits come on, they play Cowboy by Chris Rock and Thanos dances to it. Yeah, I'm packing up my game and I'm going to head out. That would be great.
Starting point is 00:41:26 I would watch that show. I want that show so bad now. No, Josh Brolin has a show on Amazon where he's like a cowboy. And I think the deal is like a modern day cowboy. But I think that like out in his field, I don't know how it happens. Maybe Meteor, maybe. Why does that exist? I'll try it on the money this is the show that kyle's recommending this is a better show how big he is i like to i like to believe that
Starting point is 00:41:55 this isn't poor photoshop he's actually that big i'm gonna kill what i know what he sounds like please bro i'm gonna kill half you rascals. He's actually really well-spoken for a galactic desk, but he, so I think that there's something in the field somewhere like a portal that goes back in time. So like they go back in time to the old West and like, like back and forth, I think in the show, but, but I could be completely wrong. That's just like the, the like whiff I got of what the show's about. I got so many shows I haven't
Starting point is 00:42:28 touched, right? Because Ozark's done. I have not finished Ozark yet. Barry is coming out again. There's three episodes of Barry out. I don't know if you guys are into Barry, but I'm super duper into Barry. I finished Ozark. Yeah, I got one more. I still haven't gotten back to Halo, and I think there's a
Starting point is 00:42:43 fourth show that I've been meaning to get back to, but I just haven't. I don't know. I haven't felt like watching anything. I've been so absorbed in that Warhammer 40K nerdy-ass lore. Dude, I explained it to someone the other day. I was like, it's basically like I'm learning about the Greek pantheon of gods except it's much much less useful information and there's not much less useful than you know they might name a space capsule after one of them or something it might be good to know like like some of that stuff like like but
Starting point is 00:43:17 so you can be like oh they call it the zeus do you know why it's called the zeus oh you do okay i learned like i don't know like maybe i like worked out like three or four words of latin because like the the old gothic is like heavily influenced by latin they went back to latin somehow in the far future um but but it's so nerdy dude like and i'd sit and listen to hours of these audio books and like lore videos talking about me I'll stop and I'll be like it's all made up and then I go everything's made up dummy this is good shit
Starting point is 00:43:51 I'm not poking holes in Lord of the Rings have you seen that clip of J.R.R. Tolkien being asked about the eagles like that old timey interview with him and they're like what do you some people have come forward asking you why don't they take the eagles to that old-timey interview with him and they're like what you know what do you some people have come forward asking you why don't they take the eagles to moto and he's like lots of people
Starting point is 00:44:11 come to me and ask me this question and it's like a minute long video and like it gets to like four seconds left and he hasn't said anything he's like the key to it is I tell them, shut up. It's like, yes. He's like, oh, you poked a hole in my fantasy world? Oh, wow. Call the papers. Settle down. Why didn't I do that?
Starting point is 00:44:37 Because the story wouldn't have worked. Because the whole narrative structure is based on the journey there. Like, oh, you're talking about stuff we're watching. I'm watching nothing right now other than Ozark late at night, my wife and I, but the NHL playoffs have been so fucking good. Kyle's Colorado Avalanche are the first team in the NHL through to the second round. The only sweep in the first round, they swept the Nashville Predators decisively.
Starting point is 00:45:04 There was a clip from the Calgary Flames coach that was like four weeks ago before, and he was talking about how the Flames needed to keep their position, and he was like, these wildcard teams, I wouldn't want to be either of them because one of them is going to get paired up against Colorado, and that's just a waste of eight days because that's the minimum amount of time. Well, Colorado won in seven days because it was you know four games in seven days they dominated it wasn't even close I think Nashville was in the lead for one game for about 28 seconds and then Colorado scored three goals in a couple minutes like just a route so I'm not looking forward to having to play
Starting point is 00:45:38 Colorado if the Blues even make it past and the Blues are dealing their the blues are tied 2-2 with minnesota and they are dealing with the some of the worst injury luck i've ever seen so for game two and three the blues were missing literally half of their defensemen and it was it's not minnesota being dirty like their captain did that one dirty thing but they haven't been dirty other than that. You know, game one, Nick Letty, our best shutdown defenseman, gets hit. Clean hit is just a bad angle. His shoulder goes into the boards. He's out. He hasn't played since game one.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Game two, Bortuzzo, our best net front presence defenseman. He goes to block a puck, as he does a million times a game. Bad deflection of the puck. It goes off someone's stick, and it hits him in the temple, and he is out for a couple days with concussion issues. Torrey Krug, our best power play quarterback. He goes down from an innocent-looking hit, hurts his knee. Marco Scandella, one of our third-pairing defensemen,
Starting point is 00:46:37 he gets knocked out. And so I am blown away that the Blues are still in it 2-2 because now if the Blues can get their defensemen back, I think they have a good chance at finishing out the series and winning because if Minnesota couldn't have capitalized on those. We brought up guys that weren't even on our AHL minor league top pairing. And if I look at a guy's career stats, it's like, oh, Callie Rosen, who the hell are you?
Starting point is 00:47:03 Okay, you've played three games in the NHL, and you're starting in the playoffs. Perfect. This is going to go great. And so they're playing today at 830. I'm really hoping the Blues can get a win against Minnesota. Wait, wait, wait. You have players who shouldn't be in the game,
Starting point is 00:47:16 and you're hoping that things go your way? I'm still hoping. Well, the series is tied to it. I think you're underestimating it. When these guys get their shot, like here's a guy, what's his cali broan or something no one's heard of him before he doesn't even play hl perhaps he's not on the top line yeah and now he's got his chance now like sometimes that guy will have a better night than the dude who's in like the eighth year of his career he's been to the playoffs before he already has a. He doesn't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:47:48 He's Adrian Peterson in his last game. This guy, on the other hand, is going to give it everything. Sometimes they come through. Yeah, that's true. But you really have to bank on that. I am. If Rosen
Starting point is 00:48:02 has a really good game... Let's make a bet. I take the Blues. Okay. I'll take the Blues, too. We'll both enjoy the win together. That's how much we've got. $5 each? It's the same side.
Starting point is 00:48:15 No, fuck you, Kyle. You're not in this. It's Taylor. I'm trying to give you some action here. Let's both bet that they win. Yeah, we'll trade fivers. You'll trade fivers. No, I'll take Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:48:27 I got the little Lincoln. I got the little Lincoln. Well, it's bad news because even if the Blues win this series, they're going to have to go up against Colorado. What's hard about that? They're the best team in the NHL. I mean, the Hurricanes are also in the NHL, so that's not true. Yeah, the Hurricanes are good,
Starting point is 00:48:44 but the Hurricanes are tied 2 the NHL, so that's not true. Yeah, the Hurricanes are good, but the Hurricanes are tied 2-2 with the Bruins, and the Avs are already waiting for the next round to start. Every other series is tied for the most part. Sometimes that doesn't work out great. Yeah, they call it you can be well-rested or well-rusted if you've taken too long off. What I can hope would happen is if the Blues go seven games and somehow beat Minnesota,
Starting point is 00:49:08 maybe we'll get some more defensemen back, please, because this trend is not going to fucking continue. All the NHL players on the Minnesota Wild, they're going to sit down and go, let's watch some game. See these guys? They play in the AHL. Next game is a home game, so we're going to put our NHL all-Stars out against these guys. I don't care
Starting point is 00:49:26 how hard they want to win. If you're not in NHL quality, if you put a gun to my family's head and they're like, play the piano! I'm like, I can't. I don't know how. It wouldn't matter. These guys, some of them, they're trying their ass off, but it's like there's a reason that you're 27 and not
Starting point is 00:49:44 in the NHL yet. You're a fringe guy at fringe guy i've seen ppas walk into the league and pitch shutouts and goalie that is funny the emergency backup goalie system is hilarious like it seems like such a big oversight in professional sports where they're like well you have your starting goaltender and then you have your backup goaltender and then you have someone who lives near the arena. That's literally it. And so there will be like ESPN will put out something where it'll be like Carolina Hurricanes preparing to play with Steven White, who is a 44-year-old father of five.
Starting point is 00:50:19 And he plays in C League. And like you can like sometimes they'll mic up like the coach when the E they call them e-bugs emergency backup goalie goes out there and you can hear the coaches like talking in a timeout to his players. Like, don't you let him get a fucking shot on him. Don't not even one. Don't even try. He's going to let everything in. You know, we know that it's just like preparing them. He's not a very good goalie he drives the zamboni he's like but he had his high school pads left over and someone's gotta play i saw marshawn lynch the football player he bought a portion of the seattle kraken and then like
Starting point is 00:50:58 immediately demanded to use the zamboni and did donuts on their ice surface. I like it. I want to talk basketball for a second. Yeah. So I'm a 76ers fan. You guys have heard me say our top player tore a ligament in his thumb, kept playing, kept winning. Then he got hit in the face with an elbow and they cracked his skull. His bone is broken.
Starting point is 00:51:23 No, this was like a week ago. And I'm bummed. This is the second time he's broken his orbital bone. The last time he was out for like 22 days, and he had a concussion too. This mother trucker wants to win. He serves out the mandatory concussion time off and then returns with the torn ligament
Starting point is 00:51:45 in his hand and a mask like that that he hasn't fucking lost since this guy is out there getting like 11 13 rebounds a game he's just like he will not
Starting point is 00:52:02 lose since he's come back they were down 0 2 and he's like, hold my beard. That's like the gladiator mask. Yeah. And also, this guy is hilarious. If you were to hear him interviewed, I think he's – Zach, where is he from? I think he's African because he doesn't –
Starting point is 00:52:22 he has this really deep matter of factual voice and he trolls other people I am the most effective player in the league it's hilarious, you have to see it he's Cameroon and anyway so I had lost hope I had lost hope until the
Starting point is 00:52:40 fucking Batman returned and has won both of our games for us that like we traded this young all-star head case for an aging ex-MVP. Our aging ex-MVP can't miss a fucking three-pointer anymore. He went six for 11 and scored 30 some points. A good three-point percentage is like the good starts at like 38%. And if you break 40%, you're really outstanding. To be shooting 66% from the three or whatever that is.
Starting point is 00:53:10 50-something. Whatever. It's incalculable. He's crushing it. The whole team is winning. We're beating the fuck out of Boston now. Anyway, game on. Let's do a whole sports segment here at the end because ufc the other night was
Starting point is 00:53:26 wild it was i what i watched all of it like when i watched pre uh pre prelims like early prelims prelims like when one of those happens like it'll be like okay the pay-per-view starts at 10 p.m but we're starting at 6 or 5 30 and uh and so i'll sit there and watch all the fights all night long and they were excellent they were so good and then we got to rose nama unis and she's got she's had a mental break clearly like there's something going on um i hope she works it out because she didn't fight and the other girl didn't want to fight very much either and it was literally one of the worst fights in ufc history not and it was a championship fight and rose lost even though like it was so hard to score because they barely touched each other the announcers i'm sorry to cut you off we're really good in this regard sometimes the
Starting point is 00:54:15 announcers try to sell shit to you they're like all right you know there's kind of a feeling out process that was round one all right they're still you know getting a vibe for what they're going to bring the announcers to, to their credit, were like, I don't know how to score that. That's not even a fight. This is one of the worst. Let's talk about some of the worst fights we've ever seen. Do you remember Luis Nogano?
Starting point is 00:54:34 That was terrible, wasn't it? That was what they were doing during the fight. Yeah, this blows. I didn't like Wonderboy against Tyron. I didn't like that first. I thought that was pretty lame but but this was the i've never had a fight underperformed this severely like if you're watching early prelims and somebody's first of all in early prelims they get fucking after it
Starting point is 00:54:56 there you could have taken one of those girls from the early prelims and thrown it thrown her in there uh and she would not have danced around and ran she'd have tried to eat that other girl alive because she's getting fucking twelve thousand dollars and she wants that other 12 that she gets from winning rose probably got i don't know 180 220 something like that plus oh it's more with pay-per-view money it's probably she probably gets behind the scenes you don't even know yeah i think she's very well paid it was a it was a it was a a terrible fight i think if you're um a new ufc viewer and you just plunk down your your 75 for that thing and that happens after you i saw a lady and she's got her like thug rose shirt on she's like frowning and i'm like yeah how much did that fucking thing cost like like like i've never had someone underperform like
Starting point is 00:55:44 this this is like your quarterback coming out and just not feeling like throwing the day it's like what have you done like like i'm on your team here like and i i don't i still like love her as a person but god that was disgusting that was a terrible fight and she lost her belt for it and the other person gained a belt that she didn't deserve like it was just brutal. It's awful. And I hope that they have Ioana fight Weili, and the winner of that goes and stomps this ugly girl. Just a mud hole in her ass. The Cookie Monster is one of the better names in female MMA.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Here's what's going to happen. Ioana is going to come out and beat up Weili, I hope. More likely Weili wins. She's just younger. I think so, too. She's the newer joanna and wayley wins the what is the trilogy and then she uh she goes and stomps a chinese mud hole in the cookie monster's ass um that's the worst description ever but okay that's what's gonna
Starting point is 00:56:39 happen that's what's gonna happen because because that that like that girl didn't look super she's a wrestler and like that that chinese girl's gonna eat her fucking alive because she's hungry she's over there eating rice right now just fucking oh she's she's drooling to get her hands on that on that dumb bitch if you look at the bodies in that weight class she is the most athletic looking girl in the class you can't always fight winners like that but she's just ripped and strong and talented a hell of a fighter and she's uh courageous the wildest thing of the night was uh with tony ferguson getting uh taking a front kick to the chin of course that is not photoshopped no so so what you're seeing here his head is accelerating toward the ceiling so fast that he's getting that g effect
Starting point is 00:57:27 that you see in like astronauts in training so so you see his his whole face moving the skin's moving down the skull's moving up look at the quad he's being kicked with yeah yeah good god that kick like you guys got all of it into that kick that i was about to say that kick started... All of it into that kick. I was about to say, that kick started where you think it did. Way back there. He was talking about it too. He's like, Tony Ferguson is a really good fighter. He's known for having good stand-up, but he
Starting point is 00:57:58 holds his hands kind of wide. They had uppercuts in mind. They were like, we're going to do uppercuts all night. Tony Ferguson, the guy getting kicked there, won the first round. I think on every card, but definitely on two cards. On mine he did. And he's like, we're going to uppercut to take advantage of those wide hands, but he kept tagging me.
Starting point is 00:58:17 He kept hitting me. And I really like the humility of that. He's got wide hands. I was trying to uppercut him. He kept hitting me worse than I was hitting him. I'm like, yeah, he was. It's. I tried to uppercut him. He kept hitting me, like, worse than I was hitting him. I'm like, yeah, he was. It's good of you to see that. And then he tried that kick up the middle like that.
Starting point is 00:58:32 And it may have – it's one of the top three most brutal knockouts I've ever seen in my life. I agree. It looks like it killed him. I just watched the clip. He was sniped. He went down. He went down hard, face first into the mat. And you saw it. Like, you watched the clip so he was sniped he went down he went down hard face first into the mat and you saw it like you saw the whole thing happen um and chandler started doing back
Starting point is 00:58:52 flips and i don't know if it was three or four back flips that he got off but he was done with his four back flips and they were like tony is still completely unconscious with his legs crossed he was unconscious for over two minutes the guy like cut a promo to call out conor mcgregor and the weight class the tony ferguson's like still snoring on the campus it was brutal i before the fight i don't remember exactly what i wrote to you guys but i was like like, for some reason, Tony Ferguson is about to fight Michael Chandler. He is literally, he literally might die. And then like, and then the first round happened and Tony looked like old tone.
Starting point is 00:59:33 And I think he is old Tony. I think people are looking at this and they're like, Oh, Tony's done for no Tony just got caught. Tony's lethal as fuck. As long as I don't know if that kick just took something away, but if it didn't then tony is lethal as fuck because he was piecing michael chandler up to the point where chandler was like oh god i gotta take this guy down i'm tired of getting punched in the face and i was like what have you done you fool because tony ferguson like has no nerve
Starting point is 01:00:00 endings in his elbows anymore so he's just throwing these sharp elbows that are meant to cut. And they're like, oh, Tony's going to cut him now. And immediately you see blood start running off out of this guy's face. Is that how he cut his cheek with an elbow from the ground? Yeah. It's elbows from underneath. His elbows from underneath are so pundit.
Starting point is 01:00:19 He'll put them right into the top of your fucking head with everything he has. And he just does not care about kenny florian used to do that too kenny florian would train so you can hit a guy with your elbow and it hurts them but if you slide your elbow across their face they're very they cut you a lot and kenny florian was like yeah you know we get the heavy bag out there and practice cutting elbows on people's faces you know but it's a heavy bag. Yeah. It's like, God, this sport is brutal. It's so nasty.
Starting point is 01:00:47 And, Florian, if you ever see me, please don't do that. Well, even what he's talking about training that hurts because it takes the skin off your elbow until it becomes like this callus there. Because that's what I did to my hand the other day. I didn't realize that I was wearing my gloves, but my weightlifting gloves. You're throwing air punches and that happened. That's very impressive. This is air. This is air blowing.
Starting point is 01:01:09 How fast his punches are. The friction. You can't imagine the speed that I'm delivering. I told you it was on the boom. You can see on the punching bag three lines of skin where that little overcut shovel punch type thing I threw went. And I just went, oh, no.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Oh, dear. So did you have no glove on? I had my weightlifting gloves on. I was like, I just had lifted, and I ran over, and I was messing with the heavy bag, and it's fine as long as you throw it straight, but anything that goes across the bag, I quickly realized that I didn't have any knuckle protection in those gloves.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I just didn't consider it. But I know now that fucking hurt. It'll get better. I was watching one of the girl fights and I was, her knees were so bloody. And to me, like that's one of my like, getting punched in the face would suck.
Starting point is 01:02:02 I would, but being on my knees and elbows on that sandpaper shark skin ring like rolling with somebody is worse to me i'd rather get hit i'd rather get beaten up even because like that girl's knees were bleeding and i was like she has sanded the skin off her fucking kneecaps that's like some torture shit getting punched in the face seems like light work compared yeah i've never stood in a real ufc ring but i'm told that the traction is outrageously good and um rose namahunas said one of the problems was it was too slippery people didn't like hearing that it's i didn't i really struggle like what is everyone else hearing with the
Starting point is 01:02:46 What is everyone else hearing with the excuse versus like, this is what happened. You know, I have heard fighters say, I put so much into the first round. I was exhausted on the second. And they're like, don't make excuses.
Starting point is 01:02:56 Or I was sick coming into the fight, or I had a twisted ankle coming into the fight. Excuses are bad. Like, well, that's just what happened. Like, you're not allowed to say that you're not allowed to explain i guess not like some fighters get away with legitimate justifications and other fighters
Starting point is 01:03:12 get called excuse makers and i just think that her excuse didn't fit here because that excuse was stupid yeah yeah because like she was just so much better than that girl it it you can see her twice now but i do kind of agree she's better now she beat her like when you're right so long ago that it doesn't matter it's like that john jones loss almost and then and but then like in their most recent fight it was like she couldn't take rose down when she got down rose was like get off me and stood back up and then like ran away it's like whoa that was all she had she just did the worst that she can do to you she held you down for three seconds your butt touched the mat for one you slapped her on the way up her face is a little red now why don't you run the fuck over there and beat the shit out of her because like you you can ronda rousey this like you can just fuck over there and beat the shit out of her? Because you can Ronda Rousey this.
Starting point is 01:04:06 You can just run over there and start just throwing and just have a war with this girl, and she's going to go down because you're accurate and strong. People are criticizing Pat Barry. Did you hear that much? Is that her boyfriend trainer guy? Exactly. I didn't like the coaching she was getting in her corner, but that's not my i have no business judging coaching it's tricky right so pat barry is her boyfriend and her trainer he's he was a heavyweight mma fighter he's very good he's a kickboxer but yeah and um
Starting point is 01:04:37 between rounds he was like rose you're looking great you're doing fantastic you're a world beater yada yada yada he always this. He always has words of encouragement for her. And Rose being a bit of a head case, perhaps benefits from these words of encouragement. But in hindsight, she just didn't fight for five rounds. Maybe she needed to hear, hey, I don't know who won those first two rounds because nothing happened. You have three more. You need to win all three to make sure that you win this fight. It's time to turn it up. Maybe that kind of thing crushes her ego and she doesn't come out to fight.
Starting point is 01:05:17 But him saying, you're doing great, kid, that didn't work either. It didn't make any sense. I agree with you. And that was the time to do it. The first two rounds, I was like, okay, maybe there is a plan here. Maybe this girl is going to get impatient and like Rose is going to catch her. Like if that had happened, I was like, I had that in my head. If a moment comes where this girl, where Rose's patience pays off and this girl rushes in and Rose flatlines her, it's going to be all forgiven.
Starting point is 01:05:42 But that didn't happen. Nothing happened. For, what is it, 25 minutes? Yes. Oh, my God. I paid $75. That was the co-main event. It was pretty lame.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Yeah. I described it as one of UFC Super Bowls. And to me, it really didn't deliver. I think there was only one finish in the main card. Didn't deliver. Well, you had Gaethje getting submitted, which is a shame. Oliver is a bad motherfucker. Ferguson and Gaethje got lost.
Starting point is 01:06:14 I look at him and I don't see a champion. I don't see the best fighter at 155 in the world, but I'm an idiot for thinking that because he goes out there every time and fucking does it. He's a badass. Who did he beat to get that? I think he beat Chandler to get an empty belt. I think that's what happened.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Something like that, yeah. Because Khabib retired. He beat Chandler to get an empty belt. And then Chandler lost his next fight, too. And it just seemed like he didn't do anything. And Poirier, too, right? Well, since then, he's beaten Poirier. And since then, he's beaten... Gaethje. then he's beaten gaethje gaethje and i think
Starting point is 01:06:47 there's another name i don't think there is another but those three is like that's a huge resume already yeah he needs one more to to really go to a whole other echelon he's he's legitimate he's legit he's he's so good. Olivera. I was surprised by how durable he was with Gaethje whaling on him like that. Then to come back with those submission attempts. He readjusted that choke
Starting point is 01:07:15 in the middle of it. He was so fast. You're right. It is just Poirier and Gaethje after Chandler. Before that, he beat Ferguson. Before that, Kevin Lee for some reason yeah so kevin lee's star has fallen i think he's about i think he's about to fight um um who's the crazy um the crazy guy who foams at the mouth uh i'm you're not thinking of yeah the black guy no no no no the crucifix the one the one that i make fun of
Starting point is 01:07:46 that they wanted me to bare knuckle box fucking uh crazy man oh oh uh diego sanchez yeah i think diego and uh and uh uh that black guy are about to fight maybe i heard that somewhere or maybe it was they were saying they should do that i was thinking of his crazy horse and he also literally foams at the mouth but He's an older guy. I'm sure Taylor wants to wrap up. He doesn't enjoy our UFC talk. He has no class, no taste.
Starting point is 01:08:15 He likes fighting on skates. Watch that movie. You're going to love that movie. LA Confidential? It's on my list. PKN 403.

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