Painkiller Already - PKN 404

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

I can't believe we started the show with that. So Velcro all over their what now, Taylor? I'm very confused. That'd be uncomfortable. I'm not going to rehash it. That's a joke just for us. Is it the sticky side or the scratchy side that you're putting on there? I can't imagine either one's good.

I can't imagine either. I give them the grabby side, and I figure the pubic hair is going to be that fluffy side that the grabbies lock into. You need a very hairy woman for that who who successfully did velcro in the coolness marketing campaign because it makes a lot of sense dude velcro shoes are more convenient you know what happened but it's you know what it is it's retards ruined it it's not just that they they started using velcro velcro for like anyone who really needs a quick fix and isn't able to like secure something together the elderly elderly and the disabled and and uh and those who for whatever reason i mean maybe it's a war veteran who can't tie his shoes anymore need velcro you know anything or jacked guys at the gym i've seen

jacked guys before wearing velcro. Nobody's going to say shit. There's definitely weightlifting shoes that incorporate Velcro because it is sturdy. Is it one of those NASA materials that came out through the space race? Yes. Cool. It should be cool.

I would like to Velcro my shoes up. I feel like it's so secure. My boots have some velcro on the top my uh my riding boots why stop there velcro shoes velcro pants velcro button-ups velcro drawers in your kitchen in my life i have velcro in the kitchen cuff of my motorcycle pants i have velcro in my breakaway reserve harness routing i have velcro i use velcro think about what all these things are though these are all like yeah think about what a breakaway reverse routing harness is reserve reserve yeah so the harness to a reserve is the damn you know there's lots of strings at the very

bottom they're sort of tight in like a nylon cord that's the harness yeah and it gets routed up along your seat and stuff so it doesn't catch on random shit but when push comes to shove you need it you need that routing mechanism to break to fail so that you can hang from your reserve parachute and that's why it's all velcro i like that okay i like velcro's high tech laces, us sticking to laces is like Chinese people not admitting forks and spoons are superior. They're they're stuck in the past. We're stuck in the past. We need to look at the way we can look at the chopstick and say bullshit nonsense. able to turn our own eye in ourselves and realize that we are wasting time how many man hours are wasted tying shoes every year billions conservatively now to be fair that's a great sentence hang on a second i think that i think just from an efficiency standpoint i think that velcro is effective for everyday stuff but i think that like if you're like i think military grade look if the

military thought velcro was the way to go they'd use it they're lacing those shoes for a reason it's just because the fucking big lace like it's big lace yeah it's big lace making shit tons of money velcro the uh you know the big lace they got their they got their fingers in the pie of the U S military choice of the proletariat and the corset industry. Like, like, like that's the, that's the two corset industry.

I can't imagine their lobbying very well because they're getting fucked up. Big lace. It's big. It's big fat. That's ruining corsets. Oh, well, you know,

the problem is that like every fat chick thinks that the corset is a solution and not like, see, you know the problem is that like every fat chick thinks that the corset is a solution and not like see the corset is not meant to suck in your enormity okay it's meant to accentuate uh a a normal woman's uh features okay you ever gone to a renaissance festival no it's it's meant to punish women and keep them from thinking about like voting well no you're close you're close. You're close. They can't raise their voices if they can barely catch their breath. Maybe we should bring them back.

I have them here. What do you mean bring them back? I mean in a popular form. I have a full-time course policy here at the Kyle Cave. Let's make it uncool for women to speak in public. You know, I've been... Speak in public? You know, I've been – Speak in public. YouTube started recommending this What's Probably an Alt-Right podcast

helmed by a couple of British guys. What's it called? I probably shouldn't even say. And I don't know it off the top of my head. I'd have to dig a little bit. But they were talking about how the suffrage movement went like how was that taught to you in in school like the suffragettes you know the ladies who wanted to vote it hadn't happened yet when i was in school what about yeah yeah okay well i mean you experienced it firsthand

it was in the new section of the new yorker for woody no they were bombing we we hit way more on slavery really dominated u.s. history in my school. Like it was like a little mention of George Washington and then an enormous amount of slavery. Was Missouri good guys or bad guys in the slavery? Missouri was it was like a choose your own adventure. OK. You can decide winning team. OK, I'm down with this losing team.

I'm going to switch. You knowosing team, I'm going to switch. Actually, I'm going to pretend to have been a double agent the whole time. That's what I would have done. You play both sides against each other. I don't know. I guess they were showing some protest that was at a suffragette statue. And there was one group of people all dressed in black with masks on. And then there were just some women. And I guess they were trying to beat

up the women, but it was straight white women. They're an outside group now. I guess the point was, I think the people in black wanted to tear the statue down because that suffragette had blown some places up, had sent some mail bombs in. I guess that was part of the suffragette movement

terrorism. I didn't know that. I probably need to look more into that. Not really sure about that one. But yeah, they've been trying to get to me with their alt-right viewpoints. I've been trying to stay away from it. What are the alt-right viewpoints? It seems like people are being obnoxious around a statue.

It's always something different. You know, they really dislike Joe Biden. They go after the Hunter stuff and they point out a lot of hypocrisies. You know, anytime there's an issue at all. Are they mad about the statues being torn down? You know what I'm in favor of? They don't really get mad. They sort of mock.

We have far too many statues of people and not enough of animals, like ferocious beasts, things like that. Who do you want to see a statue of? Some guy who looks like a lot of other guys or a saber-toothed tiger? You're definitely winning me over, Taylor. I'm really on team bear, but by and large, we can work with this. We can work it out. Make one of those huge bears, like those cave bears from ancient times, those giant those giant ones i mean i feel like we're meeting in the middle here yeah we can make bear statues we can make saber-toothed cat statues you know what's criminally underdone

sea creature statues how about a big shark they they don't do those the right way yeah i yeah dude blue blue whale i don't think blue whales get the the the love they deserve blue whales am i saying it right blue whales the name of it right they are the largest animal to have ever existed in earth's history that and they're here right now yeah well we know everything like they're never like you think oh i missed. That sucks. Pterodactyls. They're like, oh, man, I missed it back when this cool back when cats were cool and they had saber teeth. Shit. Wooly mammoths.

We missed all the good animals. No. Blue whales are happening right now. Yeah. And plus us. We're pretty sick. Yeah. But we live with us every day.

We're not that cool of animals. Cats are cooler than us. We're not that cool of animals. Cats are cooler than us. So I got a new show, and it's good because I've been let down by like three or four or five shows in a row. So Halo turned out to be... Hitting a lot of L's recently. What do you got for us? Halo really let me down.

It turned out to be bullshit. And then... Well, the show that released an episode for free right after they released to try and trump up support. That's a smart thing to do when you've got a new streaming service that you're trying to push people to. Everybody does that. Game of Thrones was free. Everybody does that. It wasn't on YouTube. It was free on HBO Go.

Let me make things up to solve my point. Taylor, if you're going to stick to facts, I'll never be right. My point is it's awful. If you're talking about Game of Thrones or hockey stats i'm i'm fucking mr fact check i found and then the marvel show with the the moon knight or whatever turned out to be lame as fuck too sounds stupid it was real bad um but i i found a show called

reacher on uh amazon and she's like that too it's real. So it's kind of a throwback to like the macho strong guy who doesn't cry every time something bad happens. It's Jack Reacher. So he's from the 80s? He's from the 80s, yeah. Is that Jim? Jim? Is that Jim from The Office? No.

Who plays him? Someone you don't know and is absolutely gargantuan he's six so all right let me let me lay this out a little bit so the character jack reacher is from a series of novels and uh they had tom cruise play him in a movie he's uh he's like a naval investigator or some military investigator and uh but but but in the movie you've got tom cruise at five six five seven or something like that jack reacher's a six foot five behemoth who at one point hugged a man to death. Like they were in a fight to the death, and he bear hugged him until he died. So to cast a fit Danny DeVito, wrong move.

Wrong move. So now they've got this Michael Critchinson's guy, whatever, Zach Roe, he's got it. Throw up a picture of this bad motherfucker. My good God. So's got it. Throw up a picture of this bad motherfucker. My good God. He looks bigger. That's the guy from Blue Mountain State. If I get my muscles up and my body fat and check, I'll still have one of the same

stupid four pack he does. He's much bigger now. Do you ever just feel fat and ugly? Yeah. Oh, Taylor, it's been minutes since I felt like that i feel fat and ugly and short i don't know how tall he is but i can't lose in that matchup you're trying to tell your story he's six foot five he's way more fit now and he's the star of this show and it's like an ongoing joke

every time somebody meets him they're like fuck you're a giant person um it happens over and over like every time he needs to get new clothes or like you know find a place to sleep it's always just like oh yeah that's right you're a giant person someone's like look i don't need your six four four ass coming here he's like six foot five six foot five like he's just he's gargantuan and it's really good it's in a small it takes place in a small town in georgia this is what hitler was talking about i mean i don't i don't i don't know about that but um it's a real good show it's real violent um it's fun uh he gouges this man's eye out at one point oh that seems unsporting for someone as powerful

as he is it was a prison fight though and there were like six of them and uh it's it was funny he had that moment where like five or six of them having cornered in a prison shower and he's like you would leave if you knew how this was about to go i love shit like that is there a little a little corrective rape no no he just beat most of them to death right there, real quickly. And the one guy, his thumb was just all the way in the eye. And what's his power? Sticking thumbs in eyes is a pretty strong one. He's just ruthless. No, he's just a guy. He's just a big, strong man. He's well-trained and military veteran and all that stuff. He's not a superhero.

I keep digressing from Kyle who's trying to talk about his TV show, but on the street, sticking thumbs and eyes isn't a really common move. Is that because of the everyman sense of honor or because it's hard to pull off? It's also icky.

It is gross. Yeah. I remember some of the more gruesome fights i've heard about like there's like there's the guy bit the other guy's thumb off right like what the fuck what do you when well the one guy had him down and somehow another is this mexican's thumb ended up in his mouth and and so he just bit it was this a felony fight no no this is uh ufc 182 this is someone i know someone i knew he got pissed after i bit his that doesn't mean it wasn't a felony fight it was a felony

technicality both men were almost certainly felons he was collecting rent from a single wide trailer and that mexican hit him upside the head with a shovel and then they went to roll him uh right there in the yard but uh but yeah like normally you don't see eye gouging i think because i don't want to gouge anybody's fucking eye out man yeah how far can you push back until you get to the brain pretty far because um there are accidental eye pokes in the UFC a lot. And, you know, the camera, they capture that one, like the frame where it said it's deepest. And it goes like into the, I'm trying to say a knuckle and a half on the thumb, you know, like deep. I'm not pointing to it very well.

Well, I'll tell you this. Jack Reacher got the whole thumb in there. I'm sure he was doing the thing that happens in Spartacus where it's like a finger stuck all the way in the blood. This was an offensive

eye gouge. Don't imagine that he was in trouble. There's no other kind. There are defensive eye gouges. No one is defending themselves. You can go from the bottom. Stop resisting! You always see it. That's when it happens in a movie. It's when the guy's

down and out, and he has to be the one to take you to that next level and go for an eye gouge. What was the western on HBO that ended poorly that we love so much it was a tv show that went on deadwood there's a scene in deadwood where like the two big henchmen from the rival like men are gonna face off in the street and these guys are both big burly western men like i don't know like six foot two 250 both of them and they have this fight

in the street that's so dirty. And it ends with one man. I think he reaches in and pulls the eye out. Deadwood started so well. Very strong. Yeah, that and, oh, help me. What's the space pirate TV show? They made a movie out of it.

They gave it some closure. Firefly. Firefly, is it? Yeah, and Serenity was the name of the movie out of it. They gave it some closure. Firefly. Firefly, is it? Yeah. Serenity was the name of the movie. That started really strong and it's a shame that it ended too soon. Yeah. Different reasons for both, I guess.

Well, no. They both got cancelled and had to end with Deadwood. It ended on... It was so lame. they're like it ended on like it was so lame that i've done it before but but it was it was real lame it really sucked but yeah reach is real good um like i said there's a part where someone who'd be very close to him dies and uh and they're like do you need a minute and he's like no i need to go find these men that killed killed this person and then they're, you want to talk about it?

We just did. I do like that. But I'm cautious, Kyle, because you recommended a couple shows after one or two episodes. I'm a solid. You guys are talking about bouncing. I went in deep. I'm four or five in now.

It's good. I promise. You both still have Ozark to watch. And Better Call Saul. I finished Ozark and I'm interested what you guys think. I'm not going to spoil anything. I liked the ending.

I think it was good. No, if I were to say that. Is it ending ending? Yes. Okay, so this is the true ending. It's not coming back. You know what's coming back june 3rd the boys you guys often say ozark is the best show on tv which i guess is inaccurate because it's not on tv anymore but for me the boys is the best show on tv that's the that's the counter that i always bring up so i'm excited that june 3rd it comes back um

homelander i i saw the trailer so it appears that the world is a little unhappy with homelander because he dated a nazi superhero they're all bent out of shape so he handles the crowd well as he normally does is once you get to know the true me you'll like me and i guess it works he's a nazi and he made homelander's girlfriend was a Nazi. And when that got sort of discovered and outed... Who doesn't know who Homelander is? I know. He's the guy in the white suit. He's the main guy.

He's the main guy and he's kind of like Superman. My apologies. So the main guy... I saw the first season. Pretty much based on Superman. In the second season, dates a Nazi. And at the end of the second season. Genuinely.

Used to be friends with Hitler Nazi. Yeah. An immortal Nazi. Yeah, literally. She fought on the side of the Nazis back in the 1940s and 30s. So, like, not kind of Nazi-ish. She shares belief with the Nazis back in the 1940s and 30s. Not kind of Nazi-ish or shares belief with the Nazis. She's OG fucking swastika.

Yeah. That's so funny. And she still holds Nazi beliefs. She's still trying to relitigate this war and win it the second time around. That'd be like a funny sketch show bit. Like a woman starts dating a guy with the the i can change

him and he's like an out and out you said that he doesn't do laundry enough you didn't say anything about this yeah i'm very excited for the boys um i i i don't think it's the best show on tv but i think it's my favorite show on tv there's a difference for me personally but i don't think it's the best show on TV, but I think it's my favorite show on TV. There's a difference for me, personally, but I don't think it's the best made or acted show. There's probably some better show that I would appreciate more, but I just don't know of it.

But I guarantee it exists. But no, this is my favorite show. I'm looking forward to it. It's a guilty pleasure. It's titties and laser vision like like it's great uh you know i'm not i haven't watched a lot of the superhero stuff if i were to watch or want to start watching all the marvel things because you know i may have missed a movie here or there. Mm-hmm. What does it begin with? Iron Man?

No. It begins with Captain America, the first Avenger. When is that? Although there may be some updates from maybe a couple years. What do you mean, when is that? When did it come out? Is that like a movie that came out in 2011 that technically happened before the 2008 Iron Man series started. So it technically happens during World War II.

And I said that right? I have it right, don't I? Yeah, you do. But it's eight years old-ish. That's a good estimate. But basically what I'm asking, the way you watch it is if you're going to watch the superhero

movies, you don't go and go okay, 2008'm gonna watch the 2008s 2009 i'm gonna watch 2009 zach has a graph i'm sure he's about to link you that's been done a bunch of times on reddit um that will show you what order you're supposed to watch them how much skipping can i get away with quite a bit just like every time fast forwarding i'm not going to be mean-spirited about it but like ant-man i don't know who that is, and I'm not watching it. You can skip Iron Man 2 and 3. You can skip Thor the Dark. We're not going to go into this.

There's a lot of skippable ones. You know what's funny? It was on TV at my grandma's house like three years ago. I did see Ant-Man, and I was like, you know, this isn't too bad. It's not bad. I was ripped out of my mind. And so it's on weed. I don't think,

I don't think everything's done yet, but we've got a potential like sponsor that sent us some gummies. And yes. And I've been like, I haven't, I haven't seen a gummy in a coon's age that could do shit to me. So they're called like, they have a scary name though. And there's 10 in a bag, and they're 100

milligrams each though. So I grabbed three or four. My gummy dose is eight. I don't know what I'm going to do with these hundreds. You need to do that. Burn them. Fucking Squidward Krabby Patty bite. I'm going to lick it and put it back.

First smell it easy there cowboy i've been in the room with the gummy for 20 minutes i took either three or four i don't know which that's too my and um because i thought bullshit you're you work i'm you know, like this might get me started. I didn't even think of it as like taking drugs. I was like, yeah, sure. Watermelon, yummy. And man, two hours later, I felt it kick in.

I felt it kick in. And I was like, oh. I think that's when I texted you. Like maybe 10 or 20 minutes after like that. And I was like, oh i was like oh and like 10 30 by one in the morning i was throwing cold water in my face and and laying naked on my on top of the sheets with the fan on high and i was i would go back to the bathroom for more cold water maybe every 45 minutes i mean it it's strong shit and you know what have you tried that uh the syrup i i'll i'll

talk to them more because this is very high quality stuff i want to get our partnership with them going but like the the syrup stuff i'd never had any of that and it doesn't exactly say how much a tablespoon is it just says whole container 650 milligrams i'm like okay and like i was i i took a tablespoon the other night and i i had it i'm like okay and like i was i i took a tablespoon the other night and i i had it i'm like oh that tastes good and i just thought like i'm just gonna be watching hockey all night let's make like a fun drink out of this and so i like got some uh some lime seltzer water added that in there got some ice and i i probably i poured almost half of it oh no in there and i drank it i drank it over the course of the next it it was a drink that every time i would take a

sip i was like careful careful like that kind of thing and i drank it over the next couple hours and i was like like sitting there like watching the edmonton game being like yeah yeah this makes sense i understand what's going on dude i totally understand what's going and then i like i started trying to play magic on my laptop and i started making a new deck and i would like start reading a card and i'm usually very fast at this. I'm very familiar with Magic. It's a game I have a lot of experience with. And I was just reading a card and then being like, okay, okay, take it back a second.

I'm here. I'm present. What does the card say? Okay, let me read that card. Add a plus one, plus one plus one count okay you know what back up a second what is the cards and like i had to like go back i couldn't finish making the deck i could not function and read and internalize it was way too much that i took it's very strong shit and so when we start i'm gonna be sure to pepper in a lot of use this shit sparing

as fuck yes yes yeah um they're not fucking around this company they are not which is which is much better than the alternative yeah i'd rather have a gummy that's like hey careful idiot cut off a tiny piece than one that's like eat whatever i'm gonna do anything so so that was two or three days ago when i ate too much and then yesterday i took one and like when it kicked in i was like fuck all right okay here we go again it's all right these are real strong like i couldn't work out until i think i i wrote woody whenever i actually started working out it was probably like 1 30 in the morning i think i made a joke about, like, sucks for the neighbors. I'm a screamer.

I'm in there dead lifting at 2 in the morning. I can't imagine lifting after eating these edibles. I had to wait until they wore off before I could lift. People lift high. I've never lifted high. I don't like lifting. Oh, I'll get really stoned on a vape or something,

but edibles is a different high anyway because of the way the liver metabolizes it. You're doing a different drug. It's turning it into a different chemical and it's a whole different experience. For what is benefit like simpler terms, edibles are more intense than smoke. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I was close to vomiting. Really? That's why I was throwing water in my face. Like, it did not feel good. So why do you like working out high, Kyle? Oh, I'm just relaxed. And I feel like maybe I can get a better mind-muscle connection maybe a little bit, too. I don't like that relaxation feeling when i'm really

i really take my time as well like like with sets and stuff i'm not i'm not in uh i'm usually bouncing around if i'm on caffeine like i'm i'm like i'm literally like doing capoeira or something like between sets and where they're like like like fake dance fighting with like imaginary ninjas and stuff just having a good time with my music blaring. Yeah, if someone ever saw me, they'd be like, what the fuck? People think that you're memeing right now, but let me say, when we were doing that

fitness competition in 2018, Kyle said on the show, he's like, I'm dancing my way to fitness. Yeah. Everyone was like, haha, funny meme. Kyle sent me a joke, or sent me a video multiple times randomly like one in the morning and it was him like with just like gloria that 80s song and he's just like oh yeah we're getting it done we are getting it done and you're just dancing like you know like he really

is dancing his way to success because like like if i a heavy set, my heart rate will jump up to 120 or something like that. We can keep this going for a minute or two and get into cardio range if we just have a little fun and dance to some of this music and do a little clapping. I'll bust out some squats or something, like bodyweight squats or whatever. I'll throw in some push-ups. I just keep moving. I like to keep moving.

But if I'm stoned, I'm a lot more chill. I will say I injure myself a lot when I'm all hyped up and not paying attention. I bump my feet into stuff. I'm mostly barefoot out there, so I've got to be careful. Speaking of injuries, let's see the hand. Yeah. Zach, full screen.

So, I wish the quality was a little better. That's solid. Is it just the palm of the thumb? Yeah, there's a blister right there. I can just see the blister on the camera. It's pretty hardcore, dude. So, had that happen again?

Grabbed one of the, what do you call them the uh the header pipes i guess on my motorcycle oh the hot part uh turns out yeah i called it too i was like that's an exhaust pipe burn yeah yeah that was foolish is Is that part of entering the cool club of motorcycle guys, though? No. No? Okay. On one of my motorcycles, I typically warm up my vehicle a little bit before I change the oil. Just because I might be insane. I feel like the oil flows slightly better and drains slightly better.

So I warm it up and then change it. Let it sit and then change it. All right. So on the DRZ, there's like three oil plugs to remove, and I'm hunting for them. I'm looking underneath, trying to find the damn thing, and I burnt my forehead on the exhaust pipe. Hard to yank that away. Yeah. Yeah.

And what if you headbutt something as you go back really i think i was just about to see a lot of people too like great yeah perfect yeah you never burn your forehead when you have nothing to do i would imagine that's how pimples always were in high school it was so upsetting it'd be like all right just need to look good tonight. That's it. That's it. Where were your hot zones? Around my mouth. Around my mouth. Like here. The corners of my mouth.

I would get upper lip stuff sometimes. I would get them on my nose sometimes. And just like here, just in the middle of my face. And it would be like, oh, that's not one that's gonna pop easily if i pop that now i have a wound which is better a pimple or a wound i think based on the way you describe it i think you had much more intense acne than i did it was so awful dude it's i mean because if i if i had like a big pop like it'd be red for the day but i did not have like no it was like one of the major top three concerns in my daily life was my acne it was it was just awful for

years and years when i was like an adult steel it'd be like why am i so goddamn greasy why am i i just washed my face like i would wake up take a shower wash my face put toner on and then like i mean an hour and a half later i don't even know what that is hour it's like witch hazel like an hour and a half later like like like i took kfc and rubbed it on my fucking face it was so awful jesus you needed some accutane just fuck up your cholesterol for life wait and it's absolutely accutane that did it it's not my eating decisions over the last you eat like a dwarf it's all salted and cured meats it's so much sodium and cholesterol that i'm surprised you're alive do you know what your blood pressure is taylor is it still cool and it is like i i actually had to like have it checked when i stabbed myself on accident it's all it was fine

like it was normal range that's good lucky it was it was actually a little like low like like lower normal which didn't make sense to me my last blood pressure was good by my standards it was 124 over 84 which is right in the you know 120 over 80 is great but 124 over 84 just a little high but you're fine if your blood pressure is a little high then you treat it with tadalafil which makes your dick awesome if it's a lot high you treat it with some other blood pressure meds which makes your dick awful so i need to stay in the tadalafil range and not get into that other blood pressure stuff. Or just ignore it like a real man. Maybe we just treat it with more and more

tadalafil. I want to live the American dream. I'm going to die in my sleep at 41 and that's it. Just a massive coronary from a huge amount of salted lamb legs.

That'd be the way to go. But, uh, so. Oh. I know everyone's favorite thing. I know what's coming. No, no, no, no, no. It's coming, bitch. You can't stop it.

I have a UFC story that's actually like a good story. Like the criminal stuff with the shooting. UFC? And I was sparing you it. Kyle, my God. A UFC story? Mine's better. I don't want to detract from the entertainment value.

Go ahead. All right. Cain Velasquez, who went after that child molester. And he was driving his truck, chasing the child molester, shooting at him with a handgun and missed the child molester, and he was driving his truck chasing the child molester, shooting at him with a handgun and missed the child molester. This is former champion, heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez. He accidentally hit a passenger in the car,

separating either some blood flow or the nerve itself in the guy's hand. Now the guy has three paralyzed fingers, and I guess he's like a roofer. So Cain has been denied bail for a second time, even though he was offering, what, $1 million bail, continuous surveillance, and an ankle bracelet. And the worst part is they had the child molester like video conference in to make a statement, and he's like, Mr. Velasquez has no respect

for the judicial system or the rule of law. Look at these dead fingers. How am I supposed to finger pop a child? See, that's the worst part. He missed the child molester and hit the child molester's family member, who was a passenger in the vehicle that he was chasing down a highway while firing his handgun.

You know, what did she know? So let me understand. Cain Velasquezquez ex ufc heavyweight champion in the world was in his car shooting at people because one of the people in the other car assaulted who his niece molested a female family member of his i don't know if it's daughter or niece something like that yeah okay and he missed the child molester and he hit the child molester's associate we don't father-in-law something like that yeah and uh see that sucks because i've seen people get away with some pretty serious shit against child

molesters i have seen judges and juries be like you know this man's a freaking paraplegic now and they're like yeah those are the breaks not guilty that classic video where it's the guy executes him in the airport and why gary why gary why he's like because he raped my son that's why i murdered him in the fucking atlanta did he get away with it yeah yeah and it's like guess what's 1994, so I'm going to get away with it. Not only did he make a sick under the fucking elbow shot, one tapped the guy in the head, but he also, his sentence was 300 hours of community service. Yeah, his sentence was five free ice creams at the local dairy queen. That's what I would do.

I'd run a lottery-based judge system. If I was a judge, it'd be like, Judge Taylor, this individual was molesting dogs. There's evidence. Here's a video of it. It's like,

you know what? I would love to send you away for the rest of your life sir but you are this court's 10 000 dog molester 10 000 it's a huge dog molester 10 000th dog molester and for that reason i'm giving giving you and then a bunch of bells start going and there's three doors for him to pick his own dog to molest. And the whole time I'm like, I didn't make the rules.

And they're like, you did! You did make these rules! I want to hear your hockey story, but I also want to talk about the psychopath that shot up that grocery store. Yes. Who shot up a grocery store? How have you not heard of this story?

In Buffalo. I've been just – you know what? That sounds familiar. I've been just – I've been working and following the NHL playoffs. Okay. Let me help you out then an 18 year old uh kid in new york man in new york took his ar-15 and drove about two hours to a predominantly black community in buffalo new york wearing a a a tactical helmet safety glasses military gloves and body armor he picked the

while because it had the highest concentration of black people. Of course. Didn't he? Oh, I'm so sorry. While live streaming this via a GoPro to Twitch off of his head, he pulls up to the front of the grocery store and gets out and starts killing people. He immediately shoots like an 80-year-old grandmother and three or four other old people. And then he goes into the grocery store, kills two more, reloads, and then headshot finishes another elderly woman who's from him. Jesus Christ. And then he continues toward the cashiers are. I think that's when the security guard steps out of like that little step up area where they keep tobacco and nuts.

Out of time. And old grocery stores. Immediately kills him. He just falls over dead. And then he finds a man balled up in a fetal position and he points the rifle at him. He's between the cash register and the man goes,

No, no, no! And he goes, Sorry. And he walks away. You know why? Because that guy was white. He found a white guy and he apologized away. You know why? Because that guy was white. He found a white guy, and he apologized for scaring him and pointing the gun at him, and then continued on his rampage.

That's when Twitch cut off the clip. What happened? Obviously not the clip. Well, he's a white guy, so he was taken alive, and they're going to try him and put him in jail, perhaps. He wasn't shot by the police or anything.

They're not saying anything. Well, when I hear that, I'm always curious like what was the situation they got brought in was he still waving the gun around because if so no i do i have the same curiosity like if you pointed the gun at the police they with all the police stuff you have to actually like see shit like but here's the thing he was this proponent of the great white replacement theory i think that's what it's called. And it is this notion essentially that the Democrats are trying to bring in non-white people through immigration policies and replace the electorate with those who would be more likely to vote democratic. And then of course, there's also the notion, part is true that the birth rates are higher amongst non-white people

and um and he just feels like uh zach says he was a far lefty as well i don't know i keep hearing that one i see a lot of right-wing shit from this guy he's a yeah his manifesto all right so i don't i don't know but it i can't find his manifesto so all i'm reading is about his manifesto which i hate but that's where i am and uh usually that stuff leaks early you don't find his manifesto. So all I'm reading is about his manifesto, which I hate, but that's where I am. Usually that stuff leaks early. You don't need the manifesto if you've watched the video. I linked you guys the video. I don't think you watched it either.

I followed the link, and it was taken down by the time I clicked on it. That's the thing. One of the things I noticed, and it was hard to tell exactly what was written on his AR-15, but he had that same sort of scrawling white sort of grease pin markings all over his ar-15 just like the christ church shooting in new zealand uh remember when the guy shot up that that mosque yeah but i don't i don't remember him having anything written on it all over it covered in it graffitied in it to the point where there's as much white as black you're i guarantee you're right i just don't remember yeah yeah he was inspired by the new zealand guy who was also uh he shot up a

muslim place for like racist reasons another thing you got to keep in mind as you watch mainstream media try to like figure this guy out or like stick their label to him is he is an internet person he has a steam Steam account. He plays a lot of Rust. Okay, this is the kind of person who is like familiar with trolling. He's familiar with trolling and... Active on 4chan. And said, you know...

How do you know if someone's active on 4chan? Do they say it? I read it in the news. Yeah, apparently he was active on the slash Paul, P-O-L, the politics part of 4chan. Oh, yeah, yeah. He probably referenced it in his manifesto. That, or I'm sure they have all of his electronics and his IP.

Dude, if you go to slash poll, then you go look at 4chan slash poll, you'll be like, I wonder what political stuff is being talked about. And you scroll down, and it's like the first post. It post is like am i gay for wanting to fuck a tranny and it's like what does this have to do with politics at all people are like no it's hot so i i watch all kinds of news i really do i watch tucker carlson all the time i watch fox news News. Then I watch the liberal stuff, too. I watch the CNN. And Kyle does a pretty good job, I think, of trying to find unbiased news. I attack it differently in watching biased news from everywhere. And just right now, the right is being called out constantly, like the third ranking member of the Republican House of Representatives.

Apparently, her campaign ads are great white replacement theory dog whistles. She's the lady that replaced Liz Cheney, like got her job. I couldn't tell you her name without looking it up. Fuck, I couldn't tell you who Liz Cheney is. The right kid. That's a political, obviously Cheney. No one from the right can hear them. They're not listening. They won't hear it.

And they've already got their perfect deflection, right? Because on the exact same day, a Taiwanese man who wanted to kill Chinese people, or was it a Chinese man who wanted to kill Taiwanese people? It doesn't matter. Invaded a fucking church in California, invaded a church in California and tried to commit a mass shooting as well. And he killed one person. So they are able to spend at least 50 of their time on that story they so it's 50 50 and then they get to point the finger at the left and say why are you ignoring this dead asian american doctor who took down a gunman and love and uh in california now the reason they're doing it is pretty embarrassing and now the reason they're

doing is because there's 10 dead people in new york and they were killed because they were black by a white guy wearing military gear from 4chan yeah that's why they always do that like hey why is it the big story this fist fight in an elementary school dude because it's not the big story so so this three more it was shot this is like the second big mass shooting because remember the mass shooting by the black nationalist in new york a couple weeks ago where he shot like 16 people that left the news immediately obviously but like that's the second big mass shooting in new york in two weeks that doesn't sound like they have strict gun laws there it's illegal to do these things it's illegal to do you know what though these guys are

in big trouble now rest easy everyone they broke the law so uh this is this is a hockey story but the the the toronto maple leafs have not won a first-round appearance since 2004. It's the longest stretch of making the playoffs semi-consistently and not making it through. They lost in Game 7 against the Tampa Bay Lightning, which no shame in that, but Tampa won. lightning which no shame in that but you know tampa won and insult to injury the day after one of toronto's best players mitch marner gets robbed at gunpoint in toronto and like carjacked and it's like jesus dude like the whole It's the biggest hockey market on the planet.

This was their year. All the Toronto people were so high on themselves. This is the year we're going to make it past the first round. Get paired up against Tampa because of a bullshit seating system. Fair enough. But even so, they can't beat Tampa. They lose. And then this guy who's getting hated on by the entire greater Toronto area then gets robbed.

And it's like, poor guy. All he has is a 10-year, $9 million a year contract to keep him up and happy. But how much was he robbed? How much did they get? I bet they got dozens of dollars, man. Yeah, yeah. And you act like he's got no money problems you act like this guy's got 90 100 million dollars sitting in the back well guess what he does and it hurts he has 36 less than he could have dude it's so

fun like when a player he makes like nine ten million dollars a year which in the nhl is a lot when they like don't win the championship in toronto people are like here's my article uh should we execute mitch marner in public yes or no my my opinion is a toronto beat writer someone can make nine million dollars in carolina and like literally take a shit on center ice and go home. And they could wake up Monday morning and no one would. That is part of the draw. You see a lot of really successful players now saying when they hit the free market, they're like, where do you want to go? Because they'll have no trade list.

And they'll be like Florida to play in Miami or Tampa Bay to play in Tampa. They're like, okay, where else? And they're like like i'll accept a trade to florida and that's it and so a lot of carolina is supposed to be on this list it's lovely here you can live and carry well it's it's about no taxes no state taxes in florida yeah that makes and so a ton of players are like oh if they pay me $10.3 million in Toronto, I actually make more money take home, taking a $7.8 million contract in Florida. Smart. Yeah, I forgot about that. Their tax returns must be...

And it's also you live in Florida instead of Canada. The weather. You lose your playoff game, and then you walk outside to a balmy 79. You can live anywhere you want in the summer, too. You can live in Canada in the summer. Go hang out with your family and then spend your winters in Florida. Yeah. Dude, there's such a funny video from, I guess, seven, eight years ago now

where Conor McDavid, the next Gretretzky, like generational talent got drafted and he got drafted by Edmonton, which is the coldest major city in North America. It's the only major city that they built more than like 15 miles from the U.S. border in Canada. It's the only one. And it's for like oil transport and stuff. And when he got drafted by them, he was visibly upset. Edmonton, Phoenix couldn't have drafted me. Think about that. Think how awesome that would be. You're making just as much money.

You're paying less in taxes because you play hockey in Phoenix. Nobody gives two shits whether you're good or bad so there's no critique there's no media like that i that would be the dream playing a major sport in an area that doesn't really care like hockey and like a southern market i could totally see that being good but regardless kyle the colorado avalanche that kyle picked Regardless, Kyle, the Colorado Avalanche that Kyle picked because you guys may believe his nonsense. Kyle is a stats genius. He looks at the stats. He makes scientific decisions based on it, and because of that, he picked the Colorado Avalanche

who happened to be the greatest team in the NHL. Now the Blues, game two is tonight, 830. I'm excited for it. Now, unfortunately, round two. I'm sorry. Game one of round, 8.30. I'm excited for it. Now, unfortunately, round two. I'm sorry. Game one of round two. My mistake. So, Blues versus the Avalanche.

The experts are saying that the Blues are the only team from that quadrant of the playoffs that can actually give the Avalanche a good run for their money. I'm not entirely sold on that. Yeah, yeah. It's Gretzky and the and others and gretzky carries a lot of weight but i i am not sold on it the way they are i still maintain my bracket will be correct colorado will win in six where are they gonna play uh so first

two games are in colorado second two games are in st louis and then five six and seven rotate off and on colorado st louis colorado and so colorado obviously has home ice advantage if the blues can win this series i think they have a real shot at winning the cup because there isn't going to be a harder team for them to beat this entire run other than colorado you think they might get into like any of those uh shenanigans like from that netflix show where they do some weird stuff to the locker room maybe it would be fun if they if they like silly stringed each other in the middle of the game and stuff no i mean like no i mean not giving them any hot water no like yeah you're not gonna have any no i can't i love the idea they have like a few paper towels for the other team to dry off yeah they like but even even so bucket or a bucket of

powder just you know you just throw that on you that'll dry you right up just with get that talcum in there with this whole series i feel like the blues are playing with house money at this point because tory krug our our best defensive power play quarterback and the blues are the best power play team in the league. And so they rely on it a lot. Our best power play quarterback, Torrey Krug, it turns out it's not a day to day injury.

He tore his MCL. And so he's out until next year. And so I give the blues zero shot to win this series without their best power play QB. Also, Marcos Candela, our fifth defenseman, he's out. And even the defenseman that came back. Your fifth best defenseman? Well, the thing, like Bortuzzo, our third best defenseman,

he came back, but he was good because he was a net front presence that fucked people up. But you can see him going into hits and stuff, but he was good because he was a net front presence that fucked people up. But like, you can see him going into hits and stuff and it's like, yeah, he's playing, but like he's, he's clearly fucking hurt.

Like he's, he's not playing at a hundred percent. He's not going to be effective in the way we need them to be. So I take Colorado and six over St. Louis. That is, that is my pick. Bonafide bet.

Your house going to be correct. Kyle, what do you have to say about Miko Rantanen, Nazem Kadri, and Nathan McKinnon really bringing up that core from Colorado hoping to win? What do you think about that? I really like my new rep bench. I thought it was going to... At first, I was a little upset

because it looked like it was in a lot of pieces. Why? It was a lot of assembly. I thought it was going to be at first I was a little upset because it looked like it was in a lot of pieces. Why? It was a lot of assembly. I thought it was going to be a lot of assembly to do. But it was really only in like one big chunk and then two more things and the pads went on after that. I put it together in like 15 minutes. And it's really sturdy. I like it a lot.

I haven't messed with it at all. I literally just got it today. I was like, I could hear them delivering. I was like, ooh, is that the bench? Is it heavy? It looks looks heavy like 100 pounds maybe that's good like i i mean i meant like a high quality heavy like the oh yeah material yeah everything seems to be built out of that like 11 gauge thick ass steel like like when you get to a certain level of fitness everything's just so overbuilt i think what it was is like sorenix or whatever like like i you get to a certain level of fitness everything's just so overbuilt i think what it was is like sorenix or whatever like like i think they usually made like nfl and professional

stuff and for some reason everybody wants professional grade stuff at their houses and you even said it like that thing you've got that three by three it's like this is so overbuilt it's so overbuilt like like you could put a car on top of it dude the the arrogance of a human to buy a three by three upright yeah it's like yeah when i'm dead lifting two civics how how am i gonna be safe it's like no you're yet like do you know how powerful that do you know how much stronger metal is than you do you know how humbling depends you know how much stronger metal is than you? Do you know how humbling that is? Depends on the metal. Make a quarter inch by quarter inch upright,

and that's holding probably everything you have. Like teeny tiny amounts of metal. If it's tempered iron and steel. Quarter inch by quarter inch? This is so solid. Or maybe not that. Solid steel. Solid steel quarter inch by quarter inch. This is so solid. Or maybe not that. Solid steel. Solid steel, quarter inch by quarter inch would hold up anything you

could lift. Guaranteed. How high are you? That's not even remotely true. I did get high in preparation for the game tonight. Look what Kyle's doing. I think I could bend that with my foot and hands. Okay. Well then, fine.

Well, then, how about half inch? That would be the workout. How about half inch? Tearing the whole thing apart with your bare hands. I don't think you want to build things. You don't want to build out a solid anything. It's weaker than tubing. Wait, is that true?

Solid. It's weaker than tubing. That doesn't seem true. Made it up right there. Yeah, yeah. I'm right. Dude, you had me hook line and sinker on that one how could it be how could it be stronger yeah yeah i don't know i don't understand

how math works when you go solid it doesn't add as much strength as weight right like that much is true it's not an efficient use of the metal, but it's not weaker. It can't be. Yeah. But yeah, I think I'm going to get a 3x3 fucking rack because they look cool. That's why I'm getting it. Two reasons. The main one looks fucking cool. The secondary

reason, and it's what I'll say to anybody in my life, stability. See, I didn't want to be moving around. And it's what I'll say to like anybody in my life. Stability. This thing will see, I could, I didn't want it to be moving around, you know, like some of those.

And it's not like I have like a two by three rack over here. That's like, I could show them, I can, I could do this. And that like a two by three, just waves in the wind. Dude,

you, you. My, my three by three upright Titan tall cage, flat foot, tall cage. You could hit it going like maybe 30 35 with a mid-sized sedan and the car is what's going to take the brunt of that

not this cage there's like it's it's so you're right it is unbelievably overbuilt. I still haven't put... I'm moving soon. I'll be out. Everything is settled in. And as soon as I have the go-ahead, I'm going to order the rack and have it delivered to the new address. I haven't picked the rack for sure, but it's going to be one of the three.

It's going to be Rep, Titan, or Rogue. Get the Titan one. It's the best for your price the three. It's going to be rep, titan, or rogue. Get the titan one. It's the best for your price. The best bang for your buck. I think so. That's probably what I'm going to do. I do like the rep stuff as well. I don't know.

I like both. I'm going to weigh my options and see what I'll weigh the cost as well. Well, your home gym is coming along very well. I'm excited to see what you pick. It's going to be fun. It's looking nice. When you move, I want to see you get the flooring right. I love my flooring so much.

It adds a lot to the experience. It's very important to me, the flooring. That's the first thing that gets done. I got to get over there and like, I've already, I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm like, I want to make sure I like pressure wash the, and like get a good base to begin with. And then I'm going to just,

I think I can get the stall mats in for $1,000 to cover the entire floor of a 25x25. Not too bad. It's something like that. If I pick them up with a truck and I'll just do that. They're going to be heavy as fuck, but I think I can slide them into place and get that done. Then I'm going to get some mirrors in,

lighting. That'll be a nightmare of a day, but you'll get it done. I like that sort of thing. I like doing stuff like that. Oh, I don't. I do. You're so stoned. I am pretty high. I drank a lot of that syrup.

He's on the scissor. I didn't want to call him out, but I who am not particularly aware and in tune with these sorts of things i'm like taylor is talking at half speed at the beginning of this i noticed it when we first started but i thought he was sad i thought he's not like i thought maybe something bad had happened because like he was like you know i haven't been really focused on the news i've been mostly just hockey i was like oh man is, man, Taylor must be down.

But no, Taylor's so fucking high right now. He's the opposite of down. No, I am ripped. Did you get extra high in preparation for watching the game? Yeah. Now, when you have to do a recharge, games last a long time. I might take a few hits off the – You don't want to finish the game sober.

No, certainly not. I want to fall asleep with those weird-ass high thoughts. No, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling solid. I got prepped for the game. I definitely don't need any more of that syrup for the next little while, at least. But I'm feeling great.

Very hungry. It did not make me hungry at all. It made me... I don't think I ate that night. It was awful. I hated it. It was way too sour. Well, you did take a shit ton.

I guess. I'm going to tone it down. Yeah. I'm going to tone it down. Yeah. I'm going to keep it toned down for the rest of the night. I am blitzed. Yes, you are. I'm going to keep it toned. I'm like, no, you're not succeeding in this goal.

I'm going to keep it upbeat and exciting for the rest of the evening. Isn't that fun? Isn't that what we do? But no, I've got that PowerTech machine. I think I'm going to use that for most of my lat pull-down stuff and low rows. I think all my tricep cable stuff, it does all that. Plus, it does some other stuff. I can do some presses and overhead press and stuff.

What is this we're talking about? My PowerTech machine, that big yellow machine I've got. You can do like seated military press yeah yeah i could i'm definitely keeping that i like that i might be done with overhead barbell presses forever or for a very long time yeah yeah and i'm finding that um with the dumbbells where i can control my pronation sup nation nation, maybe. Sounds right. It's much easier on my shoulders.

It's like, I can get, I can get a good shoulder overhead press with dumbbells. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe you'd like it if you had one of those neutral grip, one of those, one of those barbells.

I know what you're talking about. Oh, the football bars. The silty grip. I do overhead press or, you know, dumbbells or a barbell. And with the shirt on i'm like this

exercise is the best looking version of me there is no exercise in the gym that makes me look better than this one so i took a video with my shirt off doing it i was like i just want to see me shirtless doing overhead presses i look like mike from monsters inc the the green monster with the super long arms that brought you right back to reality my arms are really long so it's hard to have much bicep you were just about to send that video to rogue and be like hey i'm your demographic anyway i was like fuck like because with a shirt on like i don't know like my my um deltoids are like popping just right i really value i can't show it that yeah leave that shirt on the the bump here like i really value it's all

swarmed yeah that's me oh no but i am i am just like big chested big waisted and long-armed i look like that monster and i didn't send that video i wouldn't have the confidence to send a shirtless pic to anyone at all i just finished working out before the show, and if I bend my arms, they cramp up. Good. You're working hard. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. When I go, I like

to cover all my bases. I don't like to go a lot, so I'm getting prescriptions moved around. I do that at home. I'm getting my... What was the thing you and your stoned ass you're going to the doctor you like to have all your bases

how is me joking and you forgetting my fault well they're both caused by drugs okay you're barely less high than I am that's true I gotta get a physical updated for my clinic for Derek's true. I got to get a physical updated for my clinic, for Derek's clinic. I think I'm

just moving some of my prescriptions around so they're easier to get. I was thinking about getting my Adderall prescribed. Since I'm about to do all this moving, man, I could probably move a whole house in a day on some Adderall. If you take Adderall, I'll make it up, Monday, Tuesday,

Wednesday, are you grumpy or sad or hearted? How's your Thursday? It wouldn't bother me, it hasn't in the past, if I'm sporadic with my dosage like that because it is just a stimulant. I never built – when you build a tolerance to Adderall, in my experience, it wasn't that I was addicted to it. I didn't want more of it. It was just that it was less effective over time.

So that's why I used it sporadically. I would use it a couple days a week. I think they're both serotonin uptake inhibitors, which is a lot to understand. But what that means is the things that would collect and remove the serotonin from your system are inhibited which is to say it sticks around longer and therefore you're a happy dude and then when you stop taking it your body has to adjust to the fact that those things are no longer inhibited now they're working full force dopamine okay a dopamine uptake inhibitor. Zach is right. So it inhibits the dopamine from being removed, which is

to say it sticks around. And then when that stops happening, it doesn't stick around like it used to, and your body has to produce more dopamine, and that's why I'm a grumpy fuck when I stop taking it. Oh, I see. I see. I take it really... I haven't taken it in years, mostly because I

was drug tested for so long, and Adderall will make you pop for methamphetamine on their piss tests. But I think I might get my prescription refilled. I like taking it sporadically, and I've got moving to do. I haven't started. I've got to box shit up. I live alone. This room is like there's nothing in here.

It's this desk and these monitors and that's it. I've packed that before. And then it's just, I'm a single guy. I've just got my one of everything that needs to be moved. But I've got to get moving because I've got the clock's ticking. You guys want to call it a show?

No, this is a two hour one. Yeah, we do it. It's the 1,000th episode. We've got hangouts right after this. Shut the fuck up. Four hours of hangouts. We have to make sure that we don't see any hockey tonight. No hockey.

I know Kyle and I are on a strict no hockey information diet. We want to extend that to you. You don't want to spoil it for yourself. All right. PKN, 404,000th podcast.