Painkiller Already - PKN 409

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

PKN 4-9. How are the boys? Pretty good. I'm so desirous for summer all year. And it's like I forget what summer is. I remember how awesome April is. If every month could be April. And then a couple of Septembers in there. Like just intermixed, not all in a row.

That would be so much better. And you always think that when you come out of the horrors of winter you get to like mid-april and you're like i'm in prime like it's nice it's like 70s and then now it was 105 here two days ago i like i got sunburned walking out of my backyard every two hours to check on the meat i was smoking we've had nice days here lately i A man can't even smoke his meat. I smoke my meat all the time. I could if I was flexible enough. I have an extended definition.

So it's been super nice here. It was super nice today, actually. I did a bunch of motorcycle maintenance. Okay, I did a little motorcycle maintenance very slowly, but I felt good about it. Top off the oil, which is nothing. All right, I'm going to describe it, see if anyone's interested. My motorcycle has a spot to mount a GPS.

GPS is really nice on an adventure bike because you go off-road and you don't have the cell connection and all that stuff. So you want something that works like an old-school GPS did. Cool. I wired mine in an Idaho parking lot of the dealership. I bought it from during like the worst heat wave last year. It was like 105, a melting under a tree. And I did kind of an unprofessional job. I just kind of laced it through to the battery,

but there's a better way. If you disassemble the headlight and the fucking display with the speedometer and take the whole front end apart, there are two little accessory cables that are wired into the switch. So when you turn the key on, the GPS turns on and when you turn it off, vice versa. And I have this big trip coming up and I have worn my battery down twice by leaving the gps on overnight it's not so much a thing that happens at a campsite because you see it glowing but it's easy to leave it on in your garage and it's just like you know what i should get this buttoned up get this like

i should do it with a professional job and i spent all day doing a two-hour job and it turned out perfect it is perfect i've got like liquid electrical tape, like sealing the whole thing. Not electrical tape, because you all know that shit looks terrible in two and a half years. No, this is like weather sealed perfectly and held together. And everything is routed nicely. And too often, every time I touch something, especially with wiring, it gets a little worse. It's just a little less professional. There's a couple more zip ties.

Oh, shitty Midas touch. This was a situation where I did it pro, and I feel very good about it, and everything works. That's what I did today. Really? Like a greasy thumb? I washed it. The move is perilously close, and so I'm throwing things away i've got a i've got a dumpster to throw stuff in and so i'm i i'm definitely not a hoarder but i have like held

on to things that i don't need to hold on to and i'm just like purge every time i look at a thing i'm just like there's no chance i'm gonna watch a blu-ray copy of the good the bad and the ugly ever again am i gonna if i'm gonna look down a dvd player and say you know what let's do it looks like a 1080p tonight instead of 4k i don't know maybe that maybe clint looks better that no that's not gonna happen let's just throw all these blu-rays away and then i started throwing all the old fucking like hard copy video games away so when you sell blu-rays like Would people buy those? Maybe prisoners, people like that, or people

that live in Slab City that I want to talk about in a minute. They would want them maybe, but I'm throwing them right in the dumpster. The only thing I kept was my old DVD copy of Lord of the Rings Extended Edition because they're so ridiculous. Those big

folding things. I feel bad about throwing the xbox 360 copy of modern warfare 2 away you're not gonna find any more of those i might might have a lot modern warfare 3 i swear to god right in i swear how many did you throw away i don't know you probably just said it how many were there do you think d DVDs and games and stuff? Yeah. Oh, like a box. Like a box of maybe 100. Like 50 total.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So you weren't. It wasn't. There used to be a thing where people would kind of. Oh, I see. Collect like 3,000 of them.

And it'd be like a decorative part of their house. And I think they just didn't anticipate how antiquated they'd become well we had gone through those big like phases in the past like like through the 80s and throughout the entire 90s vhs fucking did it and then all of a sudden it was like step every three years like it's been recently and it's like oh shit hard uh hard copies of movies and stuff like that are lame. You don't want that unless you want it for nostalgic purposes. I know people are collecting VHSs now.

People are building these huge rooms full of them. There's a guy in our hangout who does it. Sure. I'm not going to do that. So I'm throwing it all away. I also threw away all three of my extra um dip and uh pull up like apparatuses those things that you know do dips and pulps from and all my one inch plates um you know they have the one inch hole yeah so i don't even have so much junk in there that i should have purged already

dude you should sell the one inch plate someone will buy those gone oh you just gone they're crushing the good the bad and the ugly right now i poured i poured some really dirty garbage right on top of them so just to be like everybody in the neighborhood's like that's some really good shit and he's like also i'm gonna piss and come on it so it's mine i did have that thought that like i don't want anybody looking in here and seeing my copy of Insanity from 2011. Remember that workout, that 90-day program? I don't want them seeing my 99% unused copy of Insanity because it's like 15 DVDs and diving in for it.

I want them to have to go through garbage juice if they do. But yeah, the people in Slab City. I watched this thing on YouTube today. I think it a vice uh little documentary thing they did on it but i watched a youtube video that's like an hour long they're basically like nomads who live in squalor out in the desert and i believe arizona it doesn't matter when you're in the southwestern united states though they're on like free land or something like they call it a town but it's really much more like commune a bunch of yeah yeah like like everybody's like bearded and uh um like like dirty looking all the kids are all are clearly like like the one kid has like

a gimpy leg like it's like turned really fun really fucked up and he's talking shit about he's like first thing people always want to do is kick me in my gimpy leg and i'm like really they do yeah they always go for my gimpy leg but i've been hit there so much that's my strong that's my strongest point now my gimpy leg and you best believe i'm gonna kick you with my gimpy leg someone's got gotta call CPS or something. He's like 16. That's not a WACPAC member, that's a child being abused. He's in there on like an

iPhone 6 making beats saying he's a beat maker and then his best friend is a white guy who's all cross-eyed. He's made upon him. His best friend is like a cross-eyed white guy and like severely cross-eyed and he's like, sometimes I like severely cross-eyed. And he's like, sometimes I go to school.

Sometimes I don't. Yeah. Like these are the level of people we're talking about. If I get the turn, right. It depends which of the buses I start chasing. They think it's truancy, but it's profound blindness.

So him and the gimpy guy fight on the trampoline to determine who's the strongest tard of the park. And then what was the other thing that happened that was just awful? Oh, there's a part where, I don't know, the kid with the fucked up eyes is watching the train go by. And it was like, the train has the American flag on it. And I was just thinking like, there goes America. But they're like not really in America because they have no...

It's not a town. They pay a guy $3 for the shower. So there's no infrastructure. Okay, there's no infrastructure. I think I have seen this. Is there like a mayor of Slab City or something? Yeah, there he is. Mock runs it.

I know. So, Zach wrote, Slab City, also called the Slabs, is an unincorporated, off-the-grid alternative lifestyle community consisting largely of snowbirds in the Salton Trough area. In the Sonoran Desert

in Imperial County, California. All right. So, it's just a piece of land no one was using that they camp out in. Like you read, the snowbirds are a thing that I saw them talking about in the video. They're like, yeah, that's up, folks. They come down here. They can't handle the summers.

Oh, it gets hot. This guy lives here. He's not a snowbird. That's's how i used to be i just come down for the winners and now he's there in charge of three dollars a shower and then like another crusty old man comes up and and like takes a shower in his shower and he's explaining how there's an economy he's like three dollars a shower you gotta burn my propane you gotta use my water seems Seems fair enough.

And then this other guy comes out. He's about the same age, but I would argue a better looking man. He comes out after a shower and the Krusty guy's like, oh, you're looking like a million bucks. So much better. He's like, yeah, yeah. And they kind of throw barbs back and forth. And then that guy walks away and the Krusty guy looks at him longingly for this brief pause that I caught, and then he goes, I don't charge Bob for his showers. That's how good of friends we are. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You love Bob, huh? So you think he and Bob were taking free showers together? No, no, absolutely. I don't think Bob would have that, but I think the crusty old guy running the

shower place, he loves Bob. He don't think Bob would have that, but I think the crusty old guy running the shower place, he loves Bob. That's kind of. He's only giving Bob the free showers. Pretty sure he's peeping in on Bob if we're being real. Could be. Maybe Bob's just an insane guy with just a horse penis. It looked real sad. I had seen those people on Indian reservations.

More over how that's depicted, I think, in media than what it's actually like but it seems bad i get what you get what you get never forget the little bighorn that's what i always say yeah um but all the same these people are like off the grid in the same way that those reservation people are in a way like there's you see what it's like when there there are no roads or water or electricity like when you take those or law enforcement like you take those things completely out of the picture stable structures

and the guy was like I think they asked him about law enforcement we got laws we got laws there's a fellow around here bullying folks treat people bad called police on him they took him in for a day they let him ride out of course of course when he came back,

he didn't have a thing in the world because we'd burn it all to the ground. Burn what? His rock collection? What the fuck? There's nothing there. Trailer. They burnt his little fucking trailer down.

A lot of them have RVs that you would pull up. They're literally not meant to be full-time residences. We crack jokes about that place Wings lives in. But these are real hobo trailers. Yeah. Double wides when they get old.

Do they wear down and just turn into not houses anymore? At some point, they just collapse in on themselves and devour their tenants. That might happen to a house if you don't take care of it, if you don't replace the roof. Can a double-wide just be maintained in perpetuity? In humid temperatures, I would argue no.

I've just never seen it. I've seen those... My great-great... No, one those. My great, great, no one. Great. My great grand aunt, like it matters, lived in a single wide trailer her entire life down by the river. And that thing had to have been 40 years old, something like that.

It had to have been, it was so bad. You couldn't drag her out. You couldn't drag her to like a nice retirement community like born in that no she was born in a real house obviously not the 40 year old trailer in a trailer by the river and she just switched trailers at one point and that was her whole life she had lived in other places but she'd been there for like a the last 40 years like in that spot and like when you're 93 or whatever she died at

the last 40 are kind of important i guess as far as like determining where you're gonna stay because she stayed down there and died um and and it was like you don't want to say it but it's like floy you realize the situation you're putting me in here is that i have to check on you daily to see if you've died yet you realize that right floy one day i'm gonna walk up to your fucking trailer it's gonna smell like an air fryer and i'm gonna walk in and you will have been cooked by the way i'm trying to protect myself against the smell okay we're trying to limit the exposure time like when you're 93 94 and not spry it's like man you could go any day you look like you already did oh yeah do you

see that video of uh jimmy carter like he it was oh he fell no no it was him like doing his like habitat for humanity whatever it is where he like makes a house except it was like a couple of handlers like holding two boards that clearly didn't need to be oh come on and then like no it's it's like I'm watching it being like, okay, let him... He has the band-aid. That's after the fall. Let him rest.

He refused. He refused to rest. He's out there trying to inspire people to make homes for homeless. You know he still shakes everybody's hands on flights? He just did it this weekend. Well, then if he's weekend. Well, then that, if he's still with it,

then that's okay. I just, when I see people that old, I always just feel so bad. That man could beat the shit out of Joe Biden. All right. I'm going to say it right now.

If you give that peanut farmer from Georgia a claw hammer and half a reason, he could beat the president of the United States to death if he, if he needed to. He,

he might be able to beat him in a bike race. No. Oh, that's a good point. You could to beat him in a bike race. No. That's a good point. You could never beat him in a bike race. That's Biden's thing. No, apparently not. Did you see Biden take a tumble off his bike? I feel like you don't have any experience with toe clips.

That's a tough situation and it happens to everyone. We don't have experience with toe clips. We have experience watching old presidents fall. I was 8'2 once. I remember. You do that a couple times and you're like, oh, damn it. I remember that. But also, it's like... He's got toe clips in there?

When he fell over, what happened was it looked like he had the older style toe clips where you slip your toe in this little cage. Before they had special shoes that clipped on, you put regular shoes this little cage. So before they had special shoes that clipped on, you put regular shoes in a cage.

And then the point is you can pull it for people who don't know, you can pull up on the pedal and push down on it. The downside is when you go to stop, you can't just take your foot off the pedal. It sucks. You have to slide your foot out of the pedal from towards the back for it to come out. And it's not intuitive.

So what are we to believe that he's this awesome fit biker? Or that this was his first time taking a trek? I think he got his foot stuck in the toe clip like happens to fucking everyone that uses toe clips sometimes. Okay. I think it was a pretty wild video. I think if I was going to ride a bicycle

in front of the press, I wish that the camera could zoom out sometimes because that's so telling often but what it looks like to me is they've they've been like all right everyone press media cocksuckers line up president joe is gonna ride his bike to right here this is the finish line ever get your fucking cameras out god damn and i made it and then then here he comes looking good. His legs look good. I saw Rogan watch this video and react to it and

made a good point. He's like, he looks sturdy, but then he can't get his foot out of the pedal clip thing. And I remember those little... Do you see what happened? Well, I know. He put his foot out of the pedal clip. He put his foot down on the one side. Everything's cool. And then he goes to straddle the bike and his toe got caught in the toe clip.

Yeah, everybody knows what happened. I feel like even when I mentioned it here, did he have a toe clip? Was there a toe clip? No. We all saw the toe clips. Well, I didn't know he had. I was using toe clips as a kid when I would ride a bike. No, Kyle literally didn't know it right now.

I didn't know. I still don't know what a toe clip is. I mean, I'm pretending. I'm doing a good job. Look at that. You fooled me. I understand the concept of a toe clip, a thing that's holding his foot captive. I just don't necessarily believe that it's the way to go for bike riders because I've seen it in practice.

He doesn't need it. He's not riding on a competitive level. He shouldn't have had toe clips. The first time I saw the video, I thought he was so bad at riding a bike now. Obviously, he's ridden deteriorated that he couldn't choose which side

he leans to. I thought that's like his skill had like he put down his left foot and fell right. Oh my God, he's terrible. But that's not what happened. He put down his left foot. Everything's cool. Then when he went to straddle it and his toe was stuck in the ground. I would argue that a stronger man could have wouldn't have fallen off a bike wouldn't have fallen off a bike um especially when you know like here's the one time to not fall and like you know better than me because i know like you you used to do a lot

of bike riding so i'm sure but but like how often was it that you'd fall like that like like oh my god not often but i would say i've done it a total of like six times and only when 30 people are watching so i've definitely seen him fall twice like definitely twice right wait one was on the off the bike or up the stairs on that plane i've seen him i've seen um i saw him go down he's going down twice on bikes and then once on the stairs one time i was at a stoplight and i'm riding with like i don't know 18 other people and i fell and made the person to my side fall to dominoed him I'm so sorry. I always imagined like those bike races where that happens

and I always imagined like if you're that first guy, like you have to be getting up like, what the hell? Uh, what?

What's going on here? Just play it off. Like it's that meme where like, I'm trying to find the guy who did this. Like, because it would be

so embarrassing. You'd be like, I need to get home before they check the footage i need to find a new hobby have you ever done that have you ever had an actual moment of like you're the one who did it and you're looking around like i'm so mad at whoever put us all in this mess like when i when i flooded my apartment and everybody in the whole building was outside as the as the alarms went off and the water shot out. And the fire department's there.

There must have been 30 of us out there. Everybody's the same way. Like not dressed the way you would normally dress when you go out. Dressed for an emergency. Arms crossed. Angry. People were cooking. People have kids in their arms.

And I'm, yeah, whoever did this. There's a bunch of water coming out of 14A. Who lives in that? Let's get him. All right, well, process of elimination, folks. You're one, and you're just sitting there like, I need to, oh, I forgot I have a date. It was so embarrassing.

I did have a date. It was my birthday. That was one of the worst nights of my life. Like, that's like top 10 worst nights of my life, flooding my apartment while getting ready for my birthday dinner and the story i swear to god the only thing one of the reasons i'm so um protective of those lord of the rings uh like like four disc uh box sets that's the only thing that survived that apartment flooding like like you can still see the water damage on them from that apartment fire. I was like,

not the DVDs, not the Lord of the Rings. Just soaked in that shitty, been in the pipes for 22 years. Rusty water. It was so awful. It was one of the worst days of my life. It really was.

That was great. Speaking of good days, which I had a couple of good days this weekend, I went out and I bought a Traeger Smoker, a decent enough size one I can make a whole bunch of meat. Can I interrupt? The Traeger Smoker is a very good specialized kind of barbecue type thing, and it competes with the green golf ball one for the most premium good smoker. Something like that, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, okay. They're pretty good. I did some of my due diligence online, and there wasn't any reason I could say. The one I got was like 600, I think it was like 700 bucks, and the green eggs were like 12, 13, 14 in some cases, and people were like, you know, if you're going to get the Traeger

and you want to do the same thing as the green egg, just get the higher end one that like reads the temperature. Yeah, that's the one I tweeted. And so like on the right there it's electronic and so you like run an outlet to it and then you put a bunch of pellets i'm going through some hickory pellets right now in there into the hopper and then it through indirect smoke heat it obviously feeds it and then over long many many hours it smokes the meat and i in my head like when woody talked about like i did a two-hour activity all day it was so productive like the same way i was my head like when woody talked about like i did a two-hour activity all day it was so productive like the same way i was like oh yeah i've been doing love enslaving over

laundry today and it's like i've been doing a load at every hour you know for two minutes for this like this i don't know if i'm ever gonna grill ever again this is the better way this is so much better i bought a five pound pork butt and my wife and i got it and i thought it was going to be a lot more activity you just put it on there put in the meat thermometer and then close it when it's at like 225 and then it's like all right well and i was like so do we like check on it at any point like asking my wife but she was like no i was like really not ever and she's like, no. I was like, really? Not ever? And she's like, no. Next time we're going to open it is six and a half hours from now

when internal temperature gets to 190. And we were a little too much gusto on how soon we would get the temperature to 190 because it was supposed to be done by like 8 p.m. Saturday night. And it gets to 8 p.m. Was it technically Saturday? It was technically done because all it has to get to is 165. And it was like 172, 175, somewhere around there. And my wife is like, I'm just so hungry.

Can we eat it now? And I'm like, no. And so we wait and it's 1140 at night and it gets to like 190 on the dot. And she's like, I'm not waiting anymore. So I was like, okay. So I went and got it. And as like I was eating and I'm like, see, it wasn't a good idea to wait for 190.

And she's like, oh, it was a great idea, honey. Like I had to wait for 190. I should have never doubted. Cause she was like coming at me, like wanting someone who wants to open a time capsule too early at like 178. It's still gonna be good. It's still gonna be good. And It's still going to be good.

And I'm like, we're in it for seven hours and we're going to pull it out now? At the cusp? At the cusp of Flavortown? You want us to fail? No, we're not doing that. And so I, and I, I've got a bunch of different barbecue sauces

from the store. I've got my Jihyo's low calorie one, but I also, I found some like Japanese barbecue sauce that was a little too much umami there. Not much spice, but got some real hot ones the next day because I did eat a tremendous amount of pulled pork between midnight and one, uh, that morning. Uh, the next day I,

I wanted to have like variety for dinner that night. And so I made a whole chicken with a beer can in the ass. Have you heard of those ones where like, it like moistens it or do you like, you like open up, you cut the top off a beer and then you put like seasoning in the ass. Have you heard of those ones where it moistens it? You cut the top off a beer and then you put seasoning in the beer and then you put it in the chicken ass and you roast that. You smoke it. It's just a Bud Light.

It seemed like it didn't really matter what kind you use. Some people even use chicken broth and stuff. I think as long as you keep it moist, that's what the beer's there for. Maybe there is something the beer does. Do you know? Does the alcohol do anything i feel like i would not think i think that some people just like to taste a beer for some odd reason and so they put one of those in there oh online they always say beer or i've always seen those people like go to smoke a chicken

or something and they're like all right let's check on it and seven out and when they like take the thing off it's ashes it's literally ashes like oh well it didn't make sense to me how fast because the chicken was like two hours and ten minutes done like easily i didn't make pulled chicken i just smoked the chicken it would have been longer i made pulled chicken the pork which was like less weight total took infinitely longer because i guess like all that steam that like boiling steam coming out in the middle of it, like accelerates the cooking because it's like cooking from the inside and the outside. Right. I guess that would make sense. I don't know, but I'm tomorrow. I've got

a plan. I'm going to go grab a big old rack of ribs and I'm going to make some spicy smoked ribs. I'm like excited about it. I'm going to go do go do that i'm gonna do the three two one method where it's three hours on the direct then two hours in the foil and then the last hour out of the foil again basted in whatever sauce you're using i'm gonna like and i've been telling myself this whole time that like this is like good for me like this is i was circling around to that. The chicken wasn't bad for me. The chicken wasn't that bad for me. The pork, all right, fine. You have me there.

That was fatty pork. Is pork that bad? Pork butt, that's why pulled pork is so good. There's so much fat in it. It's all about the cut of meat. Even with chicken, right? You want to eat the white meat, not the dark meat. I ate mostly breast. No but i did eat both thighs i just it depends what you're trying to avoid right if it's calories or fat or whatever but but in the case of

that big pork pork butt i would think that there's a lot of fat in there that's the part that tastes good i was hitting my protein macros every day oh very efficient track they're taking the scenic route but i i made it it's so much fun like this is the kind as i was doing it i was like i am blown away that like this is something woody's never mentioned to me before because i was like this seems like the kind of thing woody would enjoy like like i know you're not a big cooking guy. I'm not either. But the ease of it plus the result being fucking restaurant quality, literally, better than restaurant quality. I'm blown away. So much cheaper. It's great.

Everybody's got to get in the smoking game. I don't know about that. How much was your smoker? $700. No, you're practically making money. Yeah. You're paying for it for itself in 39 years. Get the one with the Wi-Fi thing so that you can change it for your phone.

I did. I was like – my wife is like cleaning the kitchen. I'm like, I'm cooking. 2.30. I'm just genuinely – I cook, you clean. You're like – Exactly.

No, you already have to clean the grill. That's part of the cleaning. exactly no you already have to clean the grill that's part of the cleaning when you started talking about it i started looking at uh at smokers on facebook marketplace and uh i immediately came across those like pull behind a truck smoker businesses and i'm like ah in for a penny in for a pound what if i what if me and 60 my closest friends ever want to have a $2,500 it's those giant it's a whole trailer it's it's literally a barbecue business on wheels that you can like yeah park on the side of the road and sell barbecue because i've seen those guys those guys doing that uh and then there's that giant one shaped like a bullet cell i don't know if i'm gonna get into any smoking

necessarily i've never done it you like um yeah i do like cooking but i don't know if I'm going to get into any smoking necessarily. I've never done it. You like cooking. Yeah, I do like cooking, but I don't need another like thousand dollars worth of cooking implements to cook a meal that I shouldn't eat. Well, when you put it, when you can make anything sound bad, if you put it like that, I'm also not in the market for an ice cream churn. I'm not either.

That would be ridiculous. I already have an ice cream churn. You already have an ice cream churn. That would be ridiculous. I already have an ice cream churn. You already have an ice cream churn. You jumped the gun. No smoker and you have an ice cream churn. I don't need more ice cream. I've also got a bread maker. It does everything. You literally pour the ingredients in. It's not a bread maker. It does everything.

No, I'm pretty sure it does one thing. It makes other things I swear to god I got the best bread maker You don't even there's no steps anymore Like you pour the ingredients in and press go And it first it like Kneads the ingredients into a loaf

And then it bakes it into a Into bread That you like slice up can you set it Sure Any kind you want Like a loaf of sourdough. I can make a giant pretzel. I can make a giant thing of sourdough bread that I slice for sandwiches.

I just don't need a lot of bread because it's not, you know. Have you ever made sourdough? Yeah, that's exactly what I made. I love sourdough. My favorite bread. That's probably the creme de la creme of bread. I think it's the best bread. Yeah, I like it too.

I think it's the king of breads. King of breads for sure. There was a brief time, like six years ago, I feel like, where a couple different fast food places figured out, dude, we could just throw sourdough on this and a bunch of retards will buy it. And I was one of them. I was one of them too, yeah. They got me with the sourdough.

You don't like sourdough? I do. I've had hamburgers on sourdough. I didn't realize how much I like sourdough. I do. I think I've had like hamburgers on sourdough. I've had things on... I didn't realize how much I like sourdough. You're trying to sell it. I never really paid attention to my bread. Sometimes the bread they give you before you eat is extraordinarily good.

It's probably not even technically bread. I bet it has sugar in it. That's why I like it. Sourdough's solid bread. What's the king of cheeses? Oh, that's hard. There's so many different things. I'm talking to a subject matter expert. Come on.

I mean, I really, on charcuterie boards, I find you get a lot of versatility with different kinds of gouda, whether it's smoked or just different forms of gouda. It'll go with every different kind of meat very well. I don't like... Sometimes people will bring a charcuterie board to events and they've got sharp cheddar on it. And it's like, the fuck?

That's going to dominate the flavor of anything I try to pair it with. Medium cheddar at most, if you're a peon, bring me a custom kind of cheddar. Maybe a jalapeno cheddar something with a little bit of kick to it a little bit of anything cave aged yeah do you have anything cave aged so zachary mozzarella and that was my knee-jerk reaction to mozzarella is the king of cheeses if i could only have one that's what would be in my omelet which doesn't actually have cheese

that's what would be on my burger that like I can only have one cheese, mozzarella is a solid cheese. It doesn't ruin anything, and it has the right consistency, and you can cook it. However, there's a world for a spicy jack cheese. A pepper jack cheese. You put that on a chicken sandwich or something,

and it's the star of the show. What's that powdery stuff you get with mac and cheese in the little packet? Cheese-fl flavored powder. Rumor about cheese. I'll just decide I bought a one pound tub of that. What? Yeah.

Someone kidnapped a food scientist, kept him in a dungeon his entire life, and then described cheese through the grates of his cell. And that's what he came up with. Dude, it's so good. I just remember as a kid, I really like those little box mac and cheese things i like that delicious whatever that cheese is they put in there it's tasty but i always wanted double cheese and i always be like mom can we have double cheese and she's like well these cost a quarter so yeah

absolutely yeah and so she just take the cheese out of another one and make double cheese mac and cheese and then yeah as an adult i wanted to be able to have that anytime. So I bought this tub of cheddar cheese powder for the low, low price of $14.99, thanks to Amazon. And now my cheese problems are solved. So your vote would be for gourmet cheese powder, upturning the votes. Okay. It is the finest cheese powder on the market today. Okay. It is the finest cheese powder on the market today. How about, no, you know, Parmesan isn't a standalone cheese. It makes pizza so much better, but it's making the mozzarella better.

The mozzarella is carrying the workload for the pizza there and the toppings. Obviously, mostly the cheese. Only 35 calories per tablespoon of cheese powder that you eat. I just dry scoop my cheese. It's a charcuterie. There's a little transparent spoon. That's Kyle's charcuterie board cheese powder. And you remember that beef jerky dip you could buy out of the can from gas stations as a kid.

I remember thinking I was like, cool when I, when my grandparents would buy me that like because i because all the you know in the country there everyone dipped my grandparents smoked they didn't dip it everyone around them like all the other old people dipped so i just felt like a big kid doing it but i didn't know to hold it in my lip i just ate small bits of beef jerky at a time yeah i don't think it would do anything if you put it in your lip probably just it'll just hurt your lip

There's a lot of salt in there In preservatives So it really just dries out a little spot in your mouth And it hurts real bad You know because you threw a fat chaw I'm just guessing Yeah we grew up with that shit And the bubble gum

That's like the big league chew Yeah Great, that uh the the bubble gum that's like the the big league chew yeah great yeah great that was the best flavor all the the i was i had this super distinct memory of being in the grocery store at like four years old and being so upset that i i was like there was gushers and fruit by the foot like this fruit roll-ups and uh and i was like gosh i was like gushers are fruit roll-ups in my head i i in the head of a four-year-old what i'm saying is mom pick one of these there is no other end to how this uh this goes so when she rolled away it was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my of my young life as a four-year-old and it's forever cemented in my mind and i was like gushers and fruit roll-ups

and she was just like neither and neither the fact that that could happen was a new thing thumped you on the forehead but seriously back to cheese what do you really think is the best cheese i usually get pepper jack uh if i'm uh like getting cheese on a sandwich and there's like multiple options i'll get a pepper jack cheese i like spicy stuff and i like cheese that melts so i go with that um if i'm going to put something on a charcuterie board it would be wildfire blue cheese that fancy blue cheese that i'm obsessed with that i could eat a block of it if i just had a roll of ritz crackers a butter knife and like that cheese i going to win this one way or another.

I'm not as high on blue cheese as you. I'm not as high on blue. You know, it's a fancy man cheese, or at least in my opinion it is. Gruyere. Do you like Gruyere cheese on those charcuterie boards? That's really good. I've never had a cheese. I can picture the Gruyere that I get.

It's boar's head, and it's really good. I like Havarti. I haven't made a charcuterie board in a long time. I haven't made a charcuterie board in a long time because for one thing, they get pretty expensive because you can't just buy like three ounces of cheese

when you want a fancy cheese to go on your board. You've got to go and buy like a whole fucking thing of it. Some of these cheese are like $15, $20 for like one block. And quickly, you've spent $140 on tonight's charcuterie board that's meant to be like an fucking thing of it and they'll some of these teasers like 15 20 for like one block and quickly you've spent 140 on tonight's charcuterie board that's meant to be like an appetizer and you're like you know if i just make a meal of it then i haven't wasted so much goddamn money oh i have been down that road many a time yeah where if my wife and i've done that together

she likes charcuterie boards too not quite as much as i do but she knows i like them so much and she likes making me happy that she'll just sometimes surprise me and just like make a charcuterie board and she'll be like it's just a little one and i'm like first of all there's no way this is less than a hundred dollars like and second of all like i know you're making it for me because look at how heavy the meat side is in relation like if this were a party they'd be like you didn't buy enough cheese or crackers but like it's like the meat i'm double-sided in the meat sometimes i'll put the cracker down the cheese a piece of meat and then i'll risk it from the smoker you take the cracker you put the cheese you put the piece of meat you have then you grab a piece

of prosciutto you wrap it around the whole thing and And now you got a little, now it's not. It's called a sandwich, you asshole. Just get a slice. Look, at this point, I feel like you should just go get a loaf of bread and just, and just cut out the whole middle man of making these little, Oh,

I'm a fancy hors d'oeuvre man. I don't have a problem. No, that would shatter the illusion. 12 inch loaf and go to work. Yeah. Yeah. I like just wake up wake up with the crumbs all over me and there's like eight empty papers from a deli all around me just that's i've done that before like i've said i've like i went through a phase like i was waking up at like three in the morning getting hungry all the time and i don't do this anymore but i would like

go and if we had salami i would just go to the kitchen and like eat some of it and just kind of stand there at the fridge eat a little salami and then go back to bed and like realize like a week into that like damn you're not losing any weight anymore bro like you're it's only you're like gaining weight again and so i've cut that out i also no more peanut butter late at night for me i've cut out the calories in that i think there's an enormous amount an enormous amount like like you were saying with the blue Also, no more peanut butter late at night for me. I've cut out the peanut butter. There's calories in that, I think. There's an enormous amount. An enormous amount. Like you were saying with the blue cheese, if we had a competition that was like, pick your brand.

Like, not crunchy. Creamy is better. But I would wolf down a whole one of those. Like, however much is in those. 20 ounces, I could do it. I think that's the kind of food that if you eat that much, you actually go to the hospital it will be dangerous i think it could be like it might actually blow my pancreas out right because it's just a huge disgusting shit after eating an entire jar of peanut butter that you'd reevaluate your life choices dude i bet it wouldn't smell

like shit i bet it would be it I bet it would be reminiscent. Peanut butter smelling poop? The same way like White Castle shits. Like it doesn't become, it just becomes a fouler version of White Castle. Or crab. Crab, that's fair. Maybe it's just that you're eating

way too much of one thing. If you're concentrating your bowel movements into a solid mass of crab or cheese or peanut butter. Dude, that'd be so funny if it's like people this whole time, people have been like, no, we don't know what you're talking about. And it's like, you know, when you eat 31 White Castles and then the next day you have to call into work and you just lay there all day and rethink everything. But then at night, if time passes and you get hungry again, so you have a whole thing of Jeff.

I'm doing a mini cut right now. I just want to lose three pounds. Three pounds and I'll be back in my happy place again. So I was like, you know, last five days, I'm killing it. Yesterday, maybe got killed, maybe. I'm not saying that I had Chinese food at night and then some chips and salsa,

but no one was looking at me. Now you just need to do like a full 24-hour fast and you're done. See, that's how I look at these little scenarios. Instead of dieting for 10 or 15 days to lose three pounds right right let's just starve ourselves for three straight i fasted all day i fasted all day yesterday i felt so bad from the amount of shit i ate this weekend out of the smoker that like yesterday like like breakfast lunch dinner came and went like it was like 10 my wife's going to bed she's like have you eaten anything today i'm like no i feel i don't feel great like and so i you know took a took a break from eating from eating but it wasn't you're like one of those apex predators like

he will not feast again for a fortnight literally i'm like i'm like a cold-blooded croc i just had a goat and i'm no i did i i and but it wasn't willpower the way you do it it was like i just felt so bad like my stomach just felt horrible like a it was one of those times where like have you ever thought about eating something that you shouldn't and you get a visceral feeling about it? If you just ate a huge amount of pizza or something and then you think about eating more because you want the taste of it and then your stomach will respond psychosomatically. No, bitch. Almost like you shouldn't be having that. You've never had that?

I think you're describing some sort of sci-fi element where you have two brains and one of them is in your stomach and it's sort of calling the shots but you have to to argue with it it's what it sounds like it could be you could be right but i think i think people know what i'm talking about you're saying that your stomach communicates with you when it sees foods it doesn't like yes okay i was, okay. I was way off at first. I'm interested. I thought it was something silly. Now who appears

the fool? Dude, how many games up are the abs right now? I can't count. Two to one. Last night, Tampa smoked them 6-2 But they got smoked 7-0 the game before

It's funny how It's been so back and forth Now it has It wasn't initially What was the score of the first game? I remember it not being super close I think it was like 5-3 or 5-2 But 7-0

7-0 is an embarrassment And and I'm like, oh, my God. Is Tampa Bay allowed to play anymore? What if they get hurt? That's what I used to worry about. Whenever I saw a huge mismatch, it's like it's not safe out there for that other team. Oh, yeah. This series is getting so good.

You wouldn't expect these teams to dislike each other that much, but they clearly have some interpersonal beef on a certain level, like some of the stars between each other, like Kucherov on the Lightning, and I think it's Landeskog on the Avalanche, like really seem to fucking hate each other. And the next four games potentially are going to be tremendous because like tampa is now looking like tampa bay vasilevsky is once again

playing like the best goalie in the world which he is uh the goalie for colorado darcy kemper he got chased from the net last night very bad news and then their backup came in and he actually did pretty well he saved nine out of ten and so now that's a new problem for Colorado is like, what are they going to do? Because if they decide to stick with the better backup goalie, your starting goalie's confidence is ruined. Goalies are like neurotic weirdos. If you fuck with their confidence, he's not going to come back

and be what he was before. So I think they might just roll with their starter again, and if he shits the bed, they're going to pull him and be like Frank Kuz or whatever the backup's name is your series now but yeah if if tampa can keep the pressure up and like keep shot even if tampa can get 75 as many shots as colorado they're gonna win the fucking series because colorado's like he shouldn't be well i'll trust you yeah but but that was like crazy that that was like like a lot of that was Tampa playing the worst game they've played in the last

three years. I think they had the number of shots they had was in the teens. I think Colorado had 40-something shots. For people that don't know, shots at a hockey game, maybe 34 is kind of lowish and 40 is high. Does that sound about right?

Yeah, it's totally fair. It's like a football team that got six points that game. It's just super low. Yeah. That's wild. It'd be like a baseball player not getting a hit and 20 at-bats.

A guy who was supposed to be good not getting one with 20. By the way, that's so funny when it happens, when you've got a guy on a streak like that, because everybody knows it. The announcers know it. The fans know it. It's a psychological game. It'll get prolonged.

The fans have signs that'll be like, 0 for 19, and as soon as you strike out they're ready to roll that 20 right up on the board and they're chanting and screaming and being shitty about it yeah you've seen i've seen guys do that it's really funny when they're i don't know whenever someone's close to a stat in baseball because baseball is so stat driven if somebody's getting close to batting for the cycle or uh somebody's close to pitching a no hitter or something. Everybody knows it.

Everybody knows it. There's no sport as like intimidating to look at like the stat line than baseball. If you're like trying to understand a sport, like if I go to a running backs page, I don't know shit about football. I'm going to know what those things mean. Oh, that's rushing yards how many yards he rushed like i get that like you go to baseball and it'll be like this is his ptptpo percentage and it's i don't know and to be fair i don't i don't know that stuff i just made that up

but it will literally be a percentage of time the percentage of time he hits the ball and makes it to second in a winning game and it's like what what act question are you about to ask me like about this because and like this you're right about the stats because like i'll see that on like twitter or people will make fun of like baseball stat guys who will be like albert pooh holes is the first major league baseball player to hit a home run after playing 10 years in St. Louis, seven years in LA,

and then returned to St. Louis on a Wednesday historic for St. Louis. And it's like, what are you talking about? Like, that's like, these are not real stats.

I like, and with the, um, so with the advent of the, the radar guns, just everywhere now, like now, you know,

the speed, the ball's coming off the bat and you know, the speed that, uh, the fielders are even throwing the ball which is a new thing for me i saw that uh i saw the guy break the record for uh uh speed of a ball thrown by an infielder this year some shortstop 3196.4 uh last night or the night before how fast does an outfielder throw it not that fast i guess um i thought he might rival a pitcher i i don't know uh i don't know if they they uh they radar them the fact that the rate they're like checking the speed on the infielders was a new thing to me i just saw it last night on espn hasn't baseball

done that a lot or for many well always with a pitcher obviously but but they were checking the speed on the shortstop throwing the ball to first to like strike to get somebody out and it did look like a rocket like you can you could i was like oh my god that was fast like that did not look like a normal throw like two or three more miles per hour is so much with a baseball it seems like i don't know they just like like everything hockey's so far behind they just now in like the last two years added the speed clock to shots so that you can see how hard a shot was and this guy i think it was like two games earlier in this series uh this this colorado defenseman or forward blocked a shot from a guy and it showed 98 miles an hour and like it hit him in the leg and he like had to like have a teammate like push him so he

could like glide off on the one foot and it was like, oh my god. There should be some kind of bonus or something for that. You know what they'll never show is put a G-Force measurement thing in their helmets. No, they will never do that. I guarantee in football, these guys are

hitting some numbers that would stagger you. Oh, look at that! He hit 20 Gs for a split second. I can't believe his brain didn't come out of his eyes. In Formula One racing, they'll tell you how many Gs the crash was. Verstappen had a crash at 50 Gs last year. I didn't even know you could survive that. Well, it's a split second, right?

And he's not. That's insane. Yeah, it was a big deal, if I recall um what happened was he's in a very close race over the course with the season with lewis hamilton these two were trying to go lewis hamilton's going for his eighth world championship verstappen's going for his first and all season long they were like trading who's winning in the standings and then hamilton hit verstappen and knocked him out of the race i'm not good enough at doing f1 analysis to say if he did a bad thing or not people disagreed about it so let's just say it was controversial anyway verstappen got hurt went to the hospital

after a 50 g crash and lewis hamilton was like dancing and celebrating on the podium. And then that's why the G's made like such a big impression on everybody. Like this guy's in the hospital shaking his head clear and you're, you know, shaking your champagne bottle. What happened? Like what was he like in the hospital for like weeks? He turned out he was able to race the next

race. I don't know if they usually have one or two weeks in between and I don't recall, but he was more or less okay. Just shaking up, checked checked out did either of you watch any of the fights uh from the fight night card that joe was supposed to be on this weekend i did actually joe didn't make the card joe's knee locked up it's a thing that happens to him throughout his career and uh it got unlocked like toward the end of the night like like i think maybe if it was a softball game he was trying to make and not like a espn event like they'd just put him in but uh yeah it was a really good night of fights like like there were so many knockouts that i saw a montage of like

these were the knockouts from tonight and it was just like holy shit it's a it's a minute long video from tonight because everybody every single fight almost like don't get me wrong there were some that went to decision uh but a tremendous amount of them maybe seven eight were knockouts and and good knockouts at that it was fun it was a fun night of fights i agree it was a really fun night of fights uh whoever put that card together did a great job the only challenge is this there are two things that make a fight really fun to watch for me. One is what happens during the fight. That's the obvious.

And on that, they delivered huge. The other is like the stakes, the consequence, the story behind it, like the buildup to it. And on that, I guess I knew most of these fighters, but like they weren't title contenders. They were all sort of hoping to get noticed maybe get a better fight because of this win like that's the status of all these fights they were pre-season games yeah so for those who don't know you've got to pay for espn plus to have the privilege to buy pay-per-views but if you have espn plus they throw you some free cards called like fight nights and this is one of them and there's quite a bit of them free well you're already paying like the subscription service but they just pop up on the espn you don't have to click any more buttons

whereas normally if i want to watch mcgregor fight i think they want like 70 75 dollars from me on top of everything else now per fight it's yeah pretty whereas this is it's free but as in like amazon prime is free it's included in your subscription yeah eight bucks a month or whatever it costs but uh i thought it was a good night of fights i agree with you completely they need to work on the wwe element of the sport just a smidge like like i like when there are storylines um i want to say that um like i i they need more storylines i i like whenever that's this guy doesn't like that guy for an actual reason um when you've got people like masvidal and Colby Covington, it's clear that it's not all like,

all right, you want to run through lines tonight, brother? You ready to run through their lines? All right, all right. Fuck you and your whore wife. That's not what's happening here. This guy got assaulted in the streets. Some of these guys legitimately have beefs. When that's the case, it's neat.

Then there's a guy like Israel Adesanya who I heard him speak recently and he explained like why he fights and he's just like i'm there to show out i want to knock people out in cool ways i want to do techniques nobody's ever done before knock people out i want to kick people like this and like and i'm like god damn i hate you you're so good he's he's so good at what he does uh like he's one of my favorite fighters now for sure to watch because he he really does do what he says he he tries to knock people out in fun ways and do fun interesting things yeah i'm looking i i don't know what they're gonna do with joe um did you hear they said they weren't going to reschedule it i saw that come out of dana's mouth um i saw him say that point i see the inference there yeah sometimes dana says things it's not

not always his last thought on it you know i read through um a bunch of threads and stuff and it seemed like the fan interpretation was that like i don't know a lot of people were like come on just do it a third i think it's a fourth time now. Schedule a fourth time for Cowboy and Joe. And then some were like, they've missed it three times. Now they're getting fed to hungry 25-year-olds. And it's like, ugh, maybe. But that's what they tried to do to Joe his last fight out. And he TKO'd that guy in a round.

Well, maybe he has to TKO another guy in a round and get back up to the... Well, it doesn't sound like it was just a Joe thing. Like, Cerrone would have to fight the young guys as well, right? Yeah. You don't have to. You can do anything you want in that sport. It's hard to gauge

how good the legends are, right? I guess this happens in every sport. Joe knocked out the last hungry guy that tried to make a name off of him. Now he's up against Cerrone, another legend. It's hard to see where he stack ranks in the field. Cerrone in particular is this really interesting case of someone whose star has, I don't know, fallen so far from where it was

just a year or two ago when they gave him McGregor. McGregor came back after one of his many layoffs like two years out and it's like who is he going to fight? Donald Cerrone. If I'm Donald Cerrone, I'm kissing Dana White's ass. Like that's such a cool fight to get. Now it turned out Conor just smoked him in less than, I don't know, half a round, 60 seconds, 90. But he's gone from basically fighting conor mcgregor which might be the best deal in all of mma getting to fight conor mcgregor

it's what everyone wants to do regardless of your weight class and and now it's like he's three times now he's missed this fight to fight joe which is clearly going to be both their last fight fights it i'm looking at his record he's losing a lot but a lot of these guys are okay to lose from so lost to tony ferguson but this is before tony was a chump he lost to justin gaethje dude no no disrespect there he lost to mcgregor now i fuss at mcgregor but he's a great fighter he lost to pettis you know that's a tough day at the office. No contest Nico Price. And then Alex Marano, I don't even really know him.

So like you said, he's fallen. But some of these fights on the losing streak, like 90% of the roster would lose. Did you see all the stuff about Cerrone being racist to that one fighter? I can't remember the... I keep hearing bad stuff about Cerrone. It's racist to that one fighter i can't remember the uh no and also be

like i keep hearing bad stuff about seroni it's almost like uh somebody's got a pr firm after him i'm hearing so much of it the people who took down madison cawthorner after like for real i'm getting so much of it like piped into into like the places that i look well he plays a heel doesn't he no or no oh never mind he is a heel uh i guess because like like everything i see is like there was the thing where he was with bilzerian right and they had like taken anthony smith's like mom's seats from her at the fight like another fighter's fighting and his mom is in her special seats and supposedly donald serrani and dan bilzerian were like move bitch we're trying to do a thing

here like like like like she she had some kind of trouble with them but then like some other fighter who's a black fighter was talking about donald being racist to him and saying like i know how black people steal and all this other stuff to his face and then uh he was also talking about how donald was like grabbing everybody's like wives and girlfriends right in front of them and saying what are they gonna do um and um what was the and then of course we all know about donald's assaulting that man at the lake that time yeah yeah the the lake thing i had heard seroni's version of it and it's a little hard to believe like you know i'm just laying there with my girl having a great time. This guy splashes us with his boat and comes over and kicks sand on me and my girl.

And, you know, man, I just wanted to read this romance novel, and he kept disrupting me. And I'm kind of making some shit up. But it's not far from that. So what'd you do then, Donald? Yeah, and it's like, well, then he hit me. But, you know, I'm kind of an alpha. So I dodged, I parried, I head kicked him and knocked him out cold. And it's like, oh, you almost killed the whole arsenal.

Donald Cerrone called out a guy who splashed, who made waves lap a little too hard at the lake, knowing that he doesn't look like the scariest guy ever. But then he kicked that guy in the head and knocked him the fuck out, because that's a thing that fighters can do. Yes. I love that crazy guy. Well, I mean,

he's already almost 40 years old and he's a professional fighter. He's got, he's got eight to 11 more years of like being able to form sentences. Like, well, I talked to Joe about that once Joe Lowe's. And, uh,

I, I think I have this exactly right. He's like, I'm like wicked smart. I could lose 5%. I'm still fine. Well, Joe is very, very smart. He is, yeah. Well, I like that he made the calculation. Like, I could drop 5%.

It's cool. That's how CTE works. It's like a video game where it goes down a little little bit your iq but then you eat some potatoes and it goes back up yeah i don't know i uh i hope it's fundamentally damaging you have the fashion your brain that allows neurons to connect i don't think it works that way either um i i would i would be worried about getting hit in the head i i don't know yeah anyone even you can fuck up your whole life with like what seems like a just a normal bonk on the head i'll never forget fucking um like it made an impression on me growing up uh my mother's teacher

and one of her all the teachers in a school are like really close and uh for the most part um i can't think of uh anyway uh one of my mom's friends who also taught her son was a few years older than me and like i remember i was in like middle school and he was going off to college and the first thing he did i guess he had this big banister and he tried to slide down it and fell like 15 feet and hit his head and he was never the same person again like there was okay we're dropping out of college and going back home now to be taken care of. It was that situation.

He couldn't function on his own. Jake was not Jake anymore. Jake died that day. From that bump on the head. What was the new guy like? Probably didn't say much. What do you know what the new guy was like?

Was he aggressive or was he like just a little paralyzed like was he a vegetable he was he was retarded he was retarded and he he you need you had to help him get around and okay and you know like feed him and stuff and uh you know he liked to go outside and stare into the sun a lot that was his main son a lot that was his main past time i mean that's not a long term hobby you'd be surprised they could do it all day that solves itself no i don't you know i was in middle school so obviously my mom wasn't going to be like he can't wipe himself now but i but but but like in a nice way she was like jake isn't jake anymore you know it was it was that kind of thing and i don't know like i never heard anything else. That was

15, 20 years ago or something like that now when I was in middle school. I don't know, but little head injuries like that, that popped in my head then. It's like, oh shit, you can bust your ass skateboarding and never be you again. I don't know. I always wore helmets when I could.

I wear helmets now still. They make fun of me around the neighborhood. It's funny. Dude, young Woody thought safety was stupid. Like, dumb. I hated safety. If you told me, Woody, there's two cars. They're pretty much the same, but one's safer.

I'd be like, that sounds fucking lame. You know, I bet there's something about it they had to compromise on for safety i'll take the one that didn't make those compromises adult me is like you know have you ever been really injured it puts a huge damper on everything like it this whole day like we could wait a little longer or we could get an injury that injury is like life even if it's a little life-changing even if you're like i'm pretty much fine but my elbow only goes this high now that's a big fucking deal no more basketball no more i've been watching those survival stories no more uh they're like i shouldn't be alive shit oh yeah these little injuries that like it in a weird way it made me want to go on these long hikes like 100 mile hike

but but but also at the same time like i'm watching these two men who are like 30s brothers go hiking into a canyon one of them like falls and hurts his leg compound fracture not a compound fracture but it's a a multi fracture like six breaks on the same leg he's not going anywhere five hours. Five hours back to the truck. Send the little brother, little brother's 25 or 30, back to the truck. He runs past the turn in the canyon that he's supposed to take

and starts going through shit that he never had seen before. He's going down into holes and swimming. He's swimming across like he's going down into a different canyon. We didn't swim on the way here. What do you think?

Finally, that occurs to him. I don't remember swimming to get here, and I don't remember climbing up over those boulders that I just climbed down. He has to climb back up over some ridiculous rocks. By the time he gets up, he's all fucked up,

dehydrated, and cold from the water. 26 hours it takes him to make a five-hour walk. And brother loses the leg. He had fracture blisters popping up where all the blood vessels in the leg are broken.

And it's just oozing fluid through the skin. That's horrible like maybe they save it in 10 hours but it'd been a 26 hours is what it took to get to him brother lost another guy i i wish that i could like they do that interview thing they go back and forth and you can tell they fucking hate each other this guy lied to his buddy and told him he knew how to kayak. They're going on a kayaking trip, not down some little river. They're right by the ocean. They're going out to the island. To be clear, they hate each other now,

not at the time of the trip. They were competitive then to a toxic level. Okay. Okay. And so guy A says, hey, you want to go kayaking with me? I'm going out to the islands. They're going from the mainland to some islands.'s a it's a pretty strenuous thing to do he's like yeah anything you can do i can do better bitch okay the guy'd never been in a kayak before he didn't he didn't know there were foot pedals like he's taking on water long story i didn't know there were foot pedals in a kayak i didn't either but they go into a whole thing about it long story not to like pump i think there's some sort of like steering maybe a rider yeah yeah yeah um long story short on the way back they get to the campsite this guy's got all cotton none of his gear will work like everything he has is cotton and the guy's like everything you have is cotton like the reenactor is great you have nothing but cotton how about this i'll fucking get here put

my clothes on no put my clothes on like he's putting him in his sleeping bag naked so he can just dry off and he's sitting there in the rain in his actual weatherproof gear just to keep this man alive for the night the next day it's time to go back and he's like alright there's three options Billy badass we can make the

short trek to this island over here there's a cabin there we can ask for help or we can make this slightly longer trip, leave the boats there and take the ferry back. I'll come pick the boats up tomorrow. Or we can try to go back to the mainland.

We have to fight the current because it's going to be trying to suck us out to sea the whole time. It's a 40-minute paddle, and I mean digging. I can do any of these these which would you like to do and then they go to the reenactor they go to him the one who had spoken those words he goes i was just fucking stupid because i knew what i knew what he was going to do long they try to make the paddle back dude's taking on water and the guy who actually knows how to kayak makes a decision. I'm leaving

him. He leaves him. He leaves him, goes all the way to shore. The guy gets swept out, eventually sinks because he doesn't know how to kayak. You're supposed to pierce the wave in a kayak so the water doesn't lap over the sides and get in. He sinks and he has to swim

now. Dread water? He's not going to beat the current current he's swimming into the current trying to make it to other islands he's island hopping i mean not just being pushed back to where he was before he's being pulled to the sea probably has a life preserver i think he has a life preserver on yeah um he eventually swam to an island and they still like like he's like he should have never left me and the other guy's like if i hadn't left him we both died and they're still friends and then it showed a new picture and they're they're kayaking together nobody's smiling i like these guys what a bizarre friendship when they interviewed the

asshole the one i took to be the asshole the one who came with cotton gear and lied and said he could like he's just like you know i'm an alpha male all right you know you say you can run a marathon i'll run two you say you can lift 100 pounds i'll do 200 so when he said he wanted to go kayaking i i told him i could dude i have friends like maybe not to that level but like, I'm relating to elements of this. Like, I went on a motorcycle trip with two other guys, and I'm not even sure, like, who did the best that trip. I'll let you decide. There was one guy who was clearly faster than the other two.

Maybe he's faster than the other two. Maybe he's faster than the other two. Maybe I exaggerated the gap. He crashed five times. Then there was me. I was the second fastest guy. I crashed once. And then there was my other friend. He didn't crash at all, but he was the slowest.

Who is the most skilled rider? Well, it sounds like you are, but I don't know. I got beat all day i'm not crashing at all right who didn't crash at all i gotta give him the edge there oh there's an argument for that for sure i anyway i can somewhat relate to these absolute imbeciles these people who like like that's why watching their survival stories made me still want to go on, like, a long hike or a canyon exploration type thing. Because I'm not as stupid as they are.

Jesus, they're just such idiots. I think I told Taylor, I'm like, the main reason these people die in the wilderness is because their friends have bitch in their blood. There were two guys in the jungle, and one said he had to take a piss. And he's like, and of course, you know, when you've got to take a piss in a campsite you walk 50 i like to walk 50 yards away and i'm like wait what 50 yards yeah and he's afraid to pee in the river because that's where they get their water it's a river as if his piss i hope he was killed he said these words he walks 50 yards away and he's like trying to climb over a boulder for like extra privacy in the night by the way it's just him and his buddy in the bolivian jungle like this guy must have the most embarrassing

looking genitalia dude if i were out in the woods i would if we were camping together i would pee while holding your hand yeah oh that's how that's how far i'm i want to go from the side pee buddies let's go pee buddies let's go this wayabuddies, let's go. Kyle and I are both going to go 50 feet this way. We'll go back-to-back when we shit. We'll just lean against each other. I ain't got a problem with that. Depending on what I've been eating, you might be there as my buddy for a while.

It turns into like a wall stand, like lower body activity. I'm like, I'm sorry, Kyle. I know I'm putting a lot of this weight on you, but I got to push. Oh, God. Anyway, he went to go piss behind the boulder, and the boulder rolled over onto him,

crushing his leg and pinning him beneath it. I stopped watching that one because I wished he had died. I'm like, you're here in the interview, so I know you made it somehow. You should have died, though. Don't you wish you just peed like a normal person? Like a normal person. Yeah. Those are great are great though they're on youtube for free if you're pooping be alive don't be rude that sounds good i should watch some dude that yeah i know we're

like 10 minutes over c90 adventures if you are at all interested in motorcycle adventures and i know most of you are probably not turned on by this. He does such a good job. First of all, his motorcycle is terrible. It's a 90 CC motorcycle and like, but he likes it because he can fix it himself on the side of a road. It's incredibly not complicated. And, uh, I think it's about nine horsepower. Maybe he hasn't modified to like 12. It's a joke, but his current trip goes from alaska to argentina right do you know how far that is god right and uh like he found a girl at one point in his older videos that's like 10 000 miles it sounds right it's it's outrageous he makes my trips look stupid um he and this girl run around for a while and like they're touring together. They seemed perfect on camera, but they do break up.

And he's like, why don't you just trust that we spent like 12,000 hours together and we know better than you do from watching our videos that it's the right call. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You made a strong point. But you did look so perfect on camera. And he does tours of Vietnam. He's ridden like in every country he's

amazing c90 adventures he is he's really good at motorcycles but what makes him great is he's a great editor video maker he does voiceovers and real time and sort of splices it together to tell a story about his trip and that's what hooks me nice i actually might look at that that's an insane drive from alaska through the northwest territories down through the eastern seaboard and then i don't know how many countries it is from mexico to argentina countless yeah it's pretty cool it's pretty and he'll be like he's been on so many uh like death highways now he rates which ones actually like stack up is very deadly or not he's like they call this a death highway but i've been on deadlier but this one has like tombstones

do you know how far that is that is there anywhere that says like the distance that's being traveled there oh oh there it is 48 000 kilometers oh kilometers. Oh, 30,000 miles. I was way off. I don't know if he started in Prudhoe Bay exactly or not, but 30,000 miles is a decent estimate. That's more than the circumference of the Earth. I believe you. I don't know the numbers, but I believe you.

The circumference of the Earth is 24,000 miles. Oh, well then yeah. This is like one and a half. Isn't it interesting how the math works out so easily? The Earth is 24,000 miles around. It rotates at 1,000 miles an hour, so we have 24-hour days. Yeah, there must be an

omnipotent creator from the Middle East about 2,000 years ago set all this up. Well, 4,000, 5,000 years ago. 4, up. Well, 4,000, 5,000 years ago. 4,000, right? Two. If we're going Old Testament back. Oh, are we talking about the creation times?

It's like 6,000. No, that'd be like six, right? They say like 6,000 is when God got all the business rocking and rolling. 2,000 years ago is when he sent his final liaison. Yeah. You know, present the final, you know, let's make a deal. Man, if that was God's liaison, we'd... I think we kind of proved he wasn't, right? Like, because we kept going after that.

That's what the Romans had to think. The Romans had to be like, fucking got him. They're like high-fiving and stuff. Like, told you there wasn't the Son of God. And they're like, oh, now we know for sure. Like, wait, what? He's dead he's dead no no came back to life what you think all the people who have a vested interest and like need careers now are gonna say he came back when he didn't i wish tiktok had been around then we'd know for sure

yeah we'll just see how short people really were you think jesus like four well i think everybody back then was short shorter right like five four yeah not a lot of protein i think they're just smaller people in general probably bitches speaking of protein i'm gonna go overeat you guys want to call it yes i'm ready all right pkn 409