Painkiller Already - PKN 410

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

All right, PKN410. Kyle might be coming late. We expect him to come late. He just moved today, so. Yeah, he's doing his very best, setting up his PC, getting all ready, getting his internet fixed. Hopefully he does get it fixed because we have hangouts tonight. I'm sure he'll get it done.

And then, of course, he had to shower. Can't come on a prestigious show like this without having showered. Is that a Woody original? A homemade? No, it's not. This is a Mediterranean sea flavored. Flavored? Well, don't eat it.

You have the boss of me, Taylor. I don't tell you what to do. It tastes like the cinnamon one. It doesn't taste like the ocean at all. I was going to be surprised. When you held up that candle, I was going to be like, damn, if that's his first foray into candle making, it's way better than my first foray. Because it has a nice smooth top. They don't tell you.

You have to be careful with the temperature of the wax. Because if you pour it in there too hot, it creates little cavernous bubbles in there so it doesn't have a nice flat top it has these little indents these little cutouts i would have thought you could put in purely wet hot wax and it would just dry like ice does nope apparently not i i did i poured it in there dangerously hot the first time like you know where you get wax so hot it's about to boil water yeah yeah got it like that didn't go right i also here's a tip i think i was going to say last show when you brought up candle making essential oils what you use to get the scents in there that smell nice more people probably know this than i thought but i did not know how pungent those are and so the first one i made i must have used a third of one of those little bottles of mint or

peppermint whatever it was and it was on you couldn't be in the room with it was it was unreal how strong this thing was if you took the if you took the lid off of it and put it five feet away from you, you could smell the mintiness of it. And if you lit it, it was borderline dangerous. There was so much shit in there. And I thought, I don't have the candle with me. I threw it out. I was going to ask if you burnt the whole candle.

It sounds like no. No, no. I got it going and it was sitting there on my couch. I still remember I had it over on my island in my kitchen. It was the loft I was living in. And I started to smell it like, ooh, ooh, ooh, that's a nose tingler. I should have never gone with pepper spray as my first candle.

So I had to blow the candle out. But on the bright side, I was like, I've never breathed so deep in my life this whole honestly it would have i was thinking about that it was literally a vicks vapo rub style candle i bet that thing would have been tremendous if i was sick really it might have been that good you had me excited dude have my wife what i so i got into candles lately my wife went out and bought i don't know six of them eight of them like like a good to me a bunch of candles and um half of them barely smell barely barely like i put my i'm worried i'm gonna burn my face trying to tell what it

smells like it doesn't smell at all it's's getting ripped off. It's mild. It's mild. I don't know what the sea is supposed to smell like. Water doesn't smell that much. You wouldn't know what the sea smells like, so you should be able to identify that. I don't know why you'd want to smell like that. I'm well familiar with what low tide smells like. I'm not buying a low tide candle. Do you think there's a pleasant sea smell?

No. It smells like nothing or low tide. Those are the ocean smells i don't know kramer disagreed in seinfeld it was cologne called the beach he's like it makes you smell like you just got back from the beach jerry and then he's like no one's gonna want that kramer no one wants to smell the beach like he's like i'm gonna tell him i'm gonna convince him jerry i mean i like uh that coconut freaking oil that super hot chicks put on themselves. I like that. Is that the beach smell?

If the lady was at the beach. It picked up a little bit. It was like it's as if they only sold this to the hottest girls. All the eight and a half and under have suntan lotion on the nines and up

have this like oil they put on and it's like oh you're one of those yeah like like pammed up like spray getting so dark now they all have cancer but they were hot so i send a picture of your first candle when you when you do make one okay pour the wax let it cool for a while don't go hog wild all excited like i did and the essential oils don't don't be a hero with those they are there's they're so scented you're selling me on being a hero i really want like i want my room to be so vanilla-y you hardly have to burn the candle the candle can just exist in that room diffusing it's yeah well sometimes they will say they'll be like you just need two or three drops of the essential oil and it's like okay well that's that's not enough you'll get a little smell there, but I saw three drops, and I was like, let's go 35 drops.

And let's 10X it, a little over 10X, and it's unset smellable. Three drops means one eyedropper. Yeah, I would say do five or six drops. Wait, not a whole eyedropper? No, no. These essential oils, they're in containers that big uh-huh and like you don't think they're that strong but they are and you can get them cheap as shit on amazon they're like four dollars for like a whole thing and like one of those little

containers if you just love the smell of clean linen or whatever the fuck i don't know if they have essential oils for clean linen bad example eucalypt. Let's say you fucking love eucalyptus. That one little eucalyptus oil thing has probably got like eight candles. Ten candles. I like coconut. I bet they have coconut. Coconut candle? I'm not as big on the food scented candles. Surprisingly.

Hey, you got like a meatball off of the candle. You have meatball off the candle. You have a lasagna-flavored candle. Like that guy. That's a woodwick Italian beef. It crackles. Dude, I've been doing well in the gym lately.

I'm excited. So here's the deal. I look best under 200. That's kind of where I start to go from abs that have like bumps to abs that are squares and um i don't know what my weight got up to a couple weeks ago but it was over 200 so i got sort of on the diet discipline train and a few weeks of dieting and i was brave enough to hop on a scale it was was 202. That was a few weeks ago. And all right, 202.

Look, I want to be under 200, but that's a striking distance, right? It's right there. And so a little time passed and I've been sort of on the diet train lately, being strong. 196 today. 196. That's well below 200.

I was hoping for 199. The 196 was a pleasant surprise you had some wiggle room it's called screw up celebration to go up that's that's how i do i do i price is right my weight like if i'm if i was going for like 220 and i see 218 it's like you've been too good time to back off what are you training for the olympics calm down it starts so i've been here before a lot lately and um it starts to get harder like 196 is achievable 193 is a little tougher hitting 180s is you know it's a lot of work for me i'm a heavy motherfucker like i i think i look really skinny online because i don't really have good biceps but from the armpits down like i'm kind of a big dude dense yeah just big in the rib cage you know i wear a 34 with alchoids level body fat um and i have big legs and i'm just as heavy as fuck but anyway that's great news yeah yeah i got a bench press pr today and a inclined fly pr today

nice so that's great yeah i've been well i won't stay on lifting too long i just tell me there's not much to like talk about like really i'm like well yeah i've been grinding the same plan doing a little progressive overload yeah that uh-huh that's it not that i haven't bought any new exciting equipment any prs though like you you'd be grinding the same plan you might plan doing a little progressive overload yeah that uh-huh that's it not that i haven't bought any new exciting equipment like you you'd be grinding the same plan you might be easing upwards you hit something new on a new exercise i'll get a little higher on things sometimes and but like i've i this is probably almost a year ago or over a year that like i i adapted my plan did more of the kyle derrick recommended style i guess that's probably almost like a year that like i i adapted my plan did more of the kyle derrick recommended style i guess

that's probably almost like a year and a half year and a half almost two years and so i cut my weights down heavy so like i haven't done a flat bench like fully flat bench in probably eight months like plus like i'm just doing a shitload of incline right now because i'm trying to build up my my upper chest and then i'll do like uh i have a lever machine that i can lay flat and do like a and you know those lever machines that like it's like a chest press but it's plate loaded and it kind of moves towards the middle a little bit so you get that activation yeah i do that on flat bench and then incline bench just the regular bar but like i've i've been getting like a shit ton of utility out of like 190 for a long time on incline you need to ego lift tail you need to ego oh have you been getting a shit ton of utility

where are your injuries pussy you're right that was really fucking gay how i said that you know i'm getting a lot of utility out of this oh i disgust myself i need to get in there start whipping around weights like an asshole i think crossfit oh one one thing about i'm thinking lamborghini is what i'm doing in the gym one thing i uh uh this was like probably when i was buying those dumbbell handles like a year plus ago and you were like ah you should just buy it and i should buy it twice get the whole setup and i was like i don't know that's a lot i'll just get these adjustable and you and kyle were both like those suck and i'm like i know but i can't say no to that price point

and i already have more plates than god and so then those arrived probably almost a year ago now i've done maybe three working sets of like dumbbell presses with those before i was like these these are terrible like these are so horrible did you get the both ones with the olympic collars on both sides so like handle here than the big like long olympic collars and i saw a hack online where they're like, cut a tennis ball with an X-Acto knife like you're an elderly person and then put it on the end and then you use that side to get it up,

you know, rock it up onto your thighs so then you can lift it up, get it up here. Yes, another move, yeah. That tennis ball may as well not be there. It is biting into your leg. And then you heave it up on there and you're like, ah, charley horse, and then you go to kick it up to yourself and ah, another little charley horse.

Then what are you going to do? It's a steel plate thing and I'm in my basement. I can't just drop them like I'm in a gym. So I had to bring it down with momentum back onto my legs. I was like, you know what? The barbell is just aces in this department like i'm really enjoying my barbell overhead the adjustable dumbbells kyle got those new bells look pretty slick yeah i i question if you can drop them and sometimes i drop for safety or like

yeah look if it's my joint or my floor fuck you floor you know i i mean i have like a rubber floor on my on top of like a thin carpet the floor is fine so i drop my shit now and then but uh yeah the new bells i don't know if they'll hold up to being dropped i mean based on what he paid they better there's like 700 or something 800 i know i hear your thought process i don't think you're right though like yeah i guess it's not like it's not like it's 800 bucks and all the other adjustables are 400 like they're all like 8 to 1200 and so if the fucking power block it for 1100 is telling you don't fucking drop these asshole! I can't imagine the ones a little cheaper that would

be like, oh yeah, durable as hell. I think the Iron Master is the only droppable one, but it's not convenient. That's the one that you have to get on your hands and knees and do some screwing, like screw the square plate off and then screw the square plate back on. But they go heavy.

If you need 120 pound dumbbells and you might, then that's the one yeah i bet you're i don't know if you do chainsaws or something but i just imagine you're like half gorilla and you can change all 120 pounds i'm i'm good at the the chainsaws i don't do them as often as i should i like the the two-sided pull workouts more i I have those like neutral grip mag pulleys, off-brand mag pulleys. And so I can do the seated rows with like neutral grip and like activate the full back.

I like that more. It's so funny. I'll be in my basement for hours working out and then it'll be like, all right, now time to do a one-sided exercise. And I'm like, wow, look at me, all the time in the world, doing exercises one arm at a time. Like, no, no, I'm not doing that. Look at me, mister, all the time in the world doing exercises one arm at a time.

Like, no, no, I'm not doing that. We're blasting them both. I do try to avoid one-sided exercises. I used to do a lot of Bulgarian split squats. Do you know what they are? Yeah, I still do those. They're just too miserable. They're really hard.

And then you have to do it again. And three sets of 12 might as well be six sets of 12. And in terms of my emotional degradation along the way, and now they're good for you, but I don't like them. They are. It's a humbling exercise because it's like, all right,

I'm doing way less than I feel like I could do. And it's incredibly hard. Yeah. Yeah. And if people don't know, you basically imagine standing in front of your chair on one foot and you put your toe on the chair now with the leg whose toe is on the chair touch your knee to the ground and stand up again that's basically how you do it and uh

it's really tiring and you do so fucking many of them because it's one leg at a time. And yuck. Anyway, leg days for pussies, probably. Oh, I'm PPPPPPP. That's my plan. And not even push. Pull, pull, pull, pull. That's all I do. Just pull that really underdeveloped chest.

Hyper overdeveloped back I think I do have a hyper overdeveloped back at this point it's kind of how I'm born just in the back like I'm big that way but back in calves

it was good for swimming I'm hoping Kyle joins because I wanted to talk to him about all the Supreme Court hullabaloo that's going on we talked about it a little bit on the big show yeah but uh yeah i i watched a podcast that made me upset probably exactly what they were trying to do so i'm a fool but they were saying nobody is more responsible for this Roe versus Wade decision than Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And I'm like, what? She was like super liberal. Oh, for like not retiring.

That's it. That was their take on it. They're like, it wasn't Mitch McConnell who denied Obama a justice during the end of his term and granted one to Trump during the end of his term. It wasn't Mitch McConnell. No, no, no. It wasn't the people who actually voted 6-3 in favor of, I guess, overturning Roe v. Wade. They said that Chief Justice Roberts

is on record saying he wished it was 16 weeks or something like that, which means he would have voted against overturning Roe v. Wade if he could have won so it's ginsburg fault for not retiring sooner and letting obama replace her presuming mcconnell would have allowed that i fucking twisted logic and i'm all like that's too much work to get to get there like how can she be the most responsible? Is she 1% responsible for not...

All right, I get it. I get it. Oh, Zach says Ruth Bader Ginsburg didn't like Roe v. Wade. It would surprise me to learn that she would overturn it, but who knows? Well, if that was the case, then this person's even dumber. Yes.

Then that makes it make actually less sense than the nonsensical rant you're explaining to me yeah that that's retarded i don't get how why you would make such a leap yeah i have noticed a lot of people are all of a sudden like all about overturning roe v wade people who weren't before are now like you know it was really based on a it was based on two things and god i'm too stupid to explain it but i guess the 14th amendment is kind of a right to liberty and against government oppression and the fourth amendment is a right to privacy and they somehow took that hey governments don't american government doesn't oppress its people's liberty and they get privacy therefore

you can make your own medical decisions that was kind of how they cobbled that together and a lot of people now are like yeah it was just bad law in the first place those two amendments didn't mean that so a lot of no a lot of legal analysis doing the hindsight 2020 thing where they're like actually the only reason i've never discussed this is because it wasn't directly asked the legal precedent was faulty from the get-go right it's like really it's like but you're an attorney so i don't i don't know enough to say anything i i don't know i don't know i i whatever i i think that i come from a much more disingenuous place, which is like, I liked pro-choice. I don't give a fuck how we got there.

So I believe those two amendments, liberty from government oversight and privacy, do apply. Yeah, that's exactly where I am. What do you think? Pro-choice. It's like, what about the legal? Ta-ta-ta-ta. No follow-ups, my friend. What about the legal recommendations of, what did I say?

I should get two words. That's for the birds. The law? Not my understanding. Not my wheelhouse. I have this motorcycle trip coming up, I'm getting jazzed about every day. There's a feature built into Google search. You can type how many days until like the date and it will tell you how many

days. And every day I type it in, I share it with my friends. Like, Oh, there's 21 days left. There's 17 days left. This is,

and yeah, yeah. And they share it. They're like getting ramped up to, we're all talking about like our, when we're going to start packing, when we're going to start, uh, it's a 6,000 mile trip and motorcycles don't last as long as cars and their parts don't last as long as cars. want new stuff on it for the trip but i can't say do it already like i couldn't have done it a month ago because it wouldn't be new shit for the trip like you can't do it too far in advance but i ordered it long in advance and now it's just like waiting on me to start maintaining the bike and

my friends are like i'm gonna start backing 15 days in advance and i'm like why why would you like i don't even want my sleeping bag intent compressed that far in advance but yeah we're all jazzed to start packing and we're planning and we have a good chat we're all psyched about it one guy dropped out already so well you got bummer you have enough people to to fill in the dropouts right we do for sure. You don't want to plan for a 10-person vacation with exactly 10. People are going to have family shit or they got kids. Yeah, yeah.

This particular guy, I think the reason is if the trip for people don't know, motorcycle on the highway is out to Colorado, off-roading in Colorado and Wyoming and then motorcycle home he was thinking there's a couple of us talking about taking a trailer out there not me but other people like just a truck with a trailer and tow the bikes out and his motorcycle is not really highway ready for a trip like that and when no one was taking a trailer anymore he couldn't go there it is that makes sense so uh but yeah he didn't

it's not a very rude bail oh no no someone bailing out yeah it's not like forgot i had the dentist i started this trip solo i just told i was bragging to my friends about it and they all jumped on even one of them actually comes it's a win but i think it's gonna be like five of them you need to like be taken charge like refer demand that they refer to you as the commissioner of of this whole thing you're like the commissioner of the nfl the commission commission is okay but would denarius settle for that i don't think you want to be Queen of the fucking stormlands or whatever I need six titles It should be

Exhausting to introduce me That was a great part about olden Days especially like European rulers like middle ages Like all the kingdoms Seemed about the same tier of Technology like sure like You know Rome had some Italy Had some better stuff some holdouts for the Like all the kingdoms seemed about the same tier of technology. Like, sure. Like, you know, Rome had some, Italy had some better stuff,

some holdouts for the, from the Romans, Germany, England, they had it holding on, but it's just not. I've also never been to Europe Europeans, but they were all playing by the same rules over there. And so the only way to differentiate at the time was like adding additional titles. So like when that German account or whatever shows up and he's got three titles the english guy would be sure to like have his dude do a fourth it was like it was like the way nhl like home teams get to set their lines

and so like they would always hit him with more and so like they would have planned like i'm king edward first of his name, battler of bastards. And then I'd be like, oh, we only had two things. Throw a fucking third thing on it. This was her name. Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the first of her name, the Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains. That was her title.

I need a parallel title because I organized this trip. She is so obnoxious. I never liked her throughout the whole series. The whole series. And I would get shit on sometimes for it. Like, oh, you just don't like that character. And it's like, yeah, you're right. I don't.

It's like, because she's a chick. It's like, no, Arya is my fave. It's because Daenerys is arrogantly dumb. Most of the time. Like there was a period where she got married to, uh, what was the horse Lord's name that she married? Oh, Corgi or something. It was like, uh, Varo or Vargo,

not Vargo Hote. That was a different guy who cut off Jamie's hand. I think it was a K. There's no way. His name was, what did you call him? Beagle? Corgi? Just a lamp so you could finish.

There's no way his name has anything to do with it. Khal Drago. K-A-L. Khal Drago. I thought you were talking about the blue haired guy that they removed. Remember the guy with the brother? Maybe. No,

the guy who was in that literally one scene when she was sitting there called Joe goes already dead. And the other group of guys were coming up. The seven sons of swords or whatever the alliteration was. And the guy with the, but the crazy hair, his hair was blue in the, in the books.

That's why I'm thinking blue. And he had those goofy teeth and he was going to be the romantic partner for denaris but he got like so disliked by the average viewer that they literally like he was he was played by two different people in the movie in the tv show yeah and he was pretty handsome if i recall and she liked him yeah but anyway uh call Drogo, when they first started having sex, it was practically a rape scene. Then she got a little sex coaching and she became down. That's when her character peaked. That's when

I liked her most. You think so? I'm sure of it. There's no doubt about it. That was top Daenerys when she was his fuck toy. I remember when her character plummeted, which was all of this out of nowhere puritanism where it's, I'm not going to do the scenes I was doing the past six years

and it's like, well, a little handmade tail action. Also never seen that show, but when she stopped taking her top off and her bottom. Yeah, and then you got used body doubles.

I think the body doubles were because she gained weight. OK, I buy that. That makes sense. Yeah. She did get in shape for another burn scene, another naked scene later. I would only like if I were a famous actor, I would always request that like body doubles be used like because that's their job. That guy is not tempted to cheat on meals and, you know, eat a bunch of garbage and, you know, tack those love handles back on three months into filming. That would be that would be one.

Dude, if I were a famous actor, one million percent, I'm changing weights. weights throughout I'm like Chandler and friends where he's like one scene he's emaciated and killed out of his mind and the next scene he's like overweight yeah they're just like god this fucker's just

this is the fifth pair of pants we've made we could not keep up with Chandler no I would get body doubles and they'd be like we could not keep up with Chandler. No, I would, I would get body doubles and they'd be like, Woody,

how is this guy not good looking enough? I'm like, I want people to think my dick is huge. I need, I need a one, but it'd be just like Ron Jeremy, my body double. I would,

well, I would, I would insist that my guy be like, like very noticeably taller than me. Like my body double, six foot seven. So it's just like video ends at the head, me taking my shirt off, lean as shit, and then just my obvious fat body getting under the covers. That would be so fucking funny. I would like to see

a comedy that is really bad body doubles. That would be so funny. You see like a lean guy running across with his helmet on from the rear and then the front shot like Battle of the Bastards is just me. I'm still hundreds of yards from the front line. Battle of the Bastards was a wildly overrated fight scene.

I enjoyed it. You liked it, huh? Yeah, I thought it was pretty good. As far as their fight. I'm trying to remember what were the concurrent fight scenes. Like what were the other real big ones that season it was up against? Oh, poof. I don't know. scenes like what were the other real big ones that season it was up against oh was that was that the when jamie was running from that dragon that was the last season i think because it was like burning everything because i thought that scene was stupid i didn't like that

it was too much cgi then jamie like hides in the water so if that was the same oh yeah yeah yeah i do know that scene i think maybe that was a season later. I think Battle of the Bastards must have been the best scene of that or best battle scene of that season. Shucks. I'm trying to think of a better battle scene, but I don't think Game of Thrones killed it with the wide scale, broad scale, massive scale, I should say battles like that. That's not where it did well.

The one at the very end where it basically took place in the dark. What the fuck was that? It was so goddamn dark is doing a battle in the dark the equivalent of doing jump cuts every second where like basically you don't have to do a good job no one can tell what the fuck is happening but they did a lot of good like shorter sword fights you know jamie and his sword fights braun and his sword fights like Bronn and his sword fights. That stuff I really liked. The one-on-ones were much better.

They did a good job choreographing that. Mountain versus the Viper. That shit was cool to watch. That was probably the coolest duel in the whole show. Because everyone the whole time was like, bring the fucking Mountain out more. He's huge and fun to watch. They just never really utilized him.

He is a bit of a grunt character but yeah seeing him finally fuck up the viper was so fun it was great deliver the fan service with the clegane scene uh dude i i had that you know the horns like down down down down down you know this is like i had it ready to play as soon as like clegane Ball started. I was like, if this happens, I'm going to play it for myself on this YouTube video. And I play, I hit play and I hear it

and it's everything I thought it would be. And they're fighting and it keeps, like I hear it again. I hear it again. And I'm like, did Game of Thrones put this stupid fucking meme horns in here? I didn't realize the video kept going and going. And I watched that whole thing with the fucking meme horns playing.

The whole time you're like, this was an oversight on their part. Like they shouldn't have done this. They overdid it. I thought it was a joke. And now they, they ran with it. Yeah.

Well, I mean, Clegane bowl was stupid. That was a huge, you know, did not care. How did that end? I think I blacked it out he tackled

gregor out of the window and they both fall to their death right maybe you're right i had in my head that the the hound won the dog what was his name he did the hound yeah but i think his win was like he took gregor with him and it was like, well, the Hound just totally changed his entire heuristic by which he saw the world over the past six seasons, where he thought he was just a ruthless brute who had nothing to offer. And then he found a sensitive side and a more nurturing side with Arya, cultivated that over five years. Empathetic side. Realizes he becomes empathetic. He knows there's so much more to live for other than this monolithic goal that he'd created of, I must kill my brother. I must kill my brother. That's what I'm living for.

That's it. And so all of that character development backfilling him for all the reasons he would live and prosper and continue on. And then he sees his brother, all that character development dissolves immediately. And it's back to season one. I need to kill my brother. And it was like, oh, okay. So what was the point of that entire character arc if you were just going to circle back like a horseshoe at the very end to pretend none of it meant anything? It was just fucking stupid. Bad.

Badly done. Bad writing. And you're right. The hound pushed him out of a tall window and they both fell together. And it wasn't even the pushing it was just more what I laid out just now of like the whole of his character development meant nothing

I hate that Jamie's meant nothing in the end nothing one of the ways I really judge a show's ending is how they tie it up you know Ozark did a really good job of saying like hey this is where everyone landed and everything made sense everything kind of fit and you got to maybe guess as to like how it goes from here right that's cool if lost is the opposite lost there were so many loose ends

so many what about these powers what about these people what about this what about that they just didn't explain it there were a million explanations for why they were on that island and what the numbers meant none of it was ever used it was terrible terrible ending because it didn't answer your questions game of thrones answered your questions but wrongly yes like you got your answers wrong dnd yeah they did. That sucked. They were horrible. Which is why I'm not watching the new Game of Thrones show. Not going to give it a peak.

Well, I'll give it a peak. I'll give it a peak. I'll give it a peak. Come on, you're going to watch it. What's going to happen is they're going to get reviews, and everyone's going to say it's awesome or it sucks. One of those. And if everyone says it's awesome you're gonna want to see yeah everyone says it sucks i kind of want to see i already know the lord of the rings one is

gonna stink that's so i'm putting that out of my mind no you're about to be doing pkn alone my friend that's you said it first i i i'm following your lead no it's just they're gonna ruin it there's gonna be so much fan service and stupid bullshit more harry very disappointing very more like i'm trying to imagine how they would like ruin harry potter but i guess harry potter's different because i wasn't ripping on harry potter i can say i was pretending harry pot Potter was in Lord of the Rings. Oh, I know. I blew past that. I'm not fixating

on the wizard confusion. They are confusing. Dumbledorf. What's his real name? Dumbledore. The main wizard in Harry Potter. Harry Potter movies, it was so funny.

Like I, I watched all those within the last year and, uh, I tweeted about it and I had so many people like way more than I thought. Like, I guess I underestimated how popular Harry Potter is. I was like, Hey,

I'm watching those like wildly popular, like generation making movies for the first time. And they're like, Oh, did you notice this? What do you think about this character? What do you think about this character what do you think about this what do you think about this one and like my takeaways were were like upsetting some of the like and i couldn't even get mad at them because like then they would respond with something like triggering to me about lord of the rings and i'd get three sentences into a response and then i'm

like oh no yeah they're right I'm doing the same thing let me delete that no actually the third age starting but yeah it's definitely the flying eagles yeah the flying eagles the Harry Potter things I didn't like is

as far as character development it didn't seem like Harry developed that much like he he got so lucky being surrounded by geniuses so many times that it didn't seem like he ever really had to bail himself out that much, which maybe the lesson is, you know, the value of friendship or something. I don't know, but it would be like, Harry, you just disobeyed every rule in Hogwarts and you are the champion of this

year's morality contest. And everyone else is like, and then that little poor blonde kid who's kind of a goober is like, Oh, my dad has a cool cane and you didn't even give me an award. Like, and then like they put him like the bigotry in the house is out of this world because every,

the favoritism given to Gryffindor, like it's unreal Gryffindor like it's unreal gryffindor privilege and slytherin the oppressed class are falsely maligned as though they are some insidious underworld of activity when in reality the sorting hat is just filing away personal grudges people he doesn't like he throws into slytherin and then dumbledore hates on the slytherin kids and so all these fucking cunt adults have like created a world where there's an entire house of kids who do nothing but get bullied and they go and you deserve it too you snake and it's like well and then they turn out bad kids they're the wealthy ones and with pure blood no they're the ones that get bullied by Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's always side-eyeing the Slytherin. You're telling me that those fat retards that were on the side of Malfoy, those guys came from estates? One of them didn't have all his teeth. Yes. I don't think that's going to be... You know what?

I welcome debate, but I don't think this is going to be borne out in the facts. Once you take a closer look. Well, I guess my perspective was like the whole... I didn't know Slytherin had more lore. I was just like, this is some bullshit. Dumbledore actively bullying Slytherin kids and then being like, these Slytherins are acting out. What could be the cause?

And it's like, well well maybe it's like you pushed them into lockers and saying they're evil and every teacher being like today we're learning potions Gryffindors prepare your potions Slytherins go to hell and like that level of shit

so I won't be my mind will not be changed I'm I'm dug in. I had no opinion on this when I started ranting three minutes ago. Now I'm in. That's great.

I would love a new fantasy series to watch. Not a rip-off. A new one. Not a Lord of the Rings spin. Not a Harry Potter spin. Something brand new oh it needs to have new lore too right like if it has trolls and it has gnomes and it has fucking um gargoyles and shit like that no no no no no nay nay i want things i've never heard of invent a new fucking i don't know

monkey bird or something that that's already been done in wizard of oz but give me new things give me new things i i i want i don't want to have any is oh is there an elf i already know what elves are no elves no elves i want fucking smells that are entirely different. Yeah. Or at least like throw us a curveball. Elves have been Legolas style for too long. They used to be Keebler style where they were more like sprites, like mystical beings. And then they became Legolas style

largely because of Lord of the Rings. You can tell every single fantasy genre you see out there, you're like, oh this is like loosely based on Middle Earth because they all are loosely based on middle earth because they all are loosely based on middle earth like that's why goblins trolls like all that like that that archetype works so well i know that you got bored of the guy's book but yeah that's something i appreciated immensely about brandon sanderson is that it was not trolls and goblins it was like

and there's even like a meme of like him where it's like doing that like you know leaning back and then oh that's for me where it's like him leaning back all the traditional goblins trolls elves and then it's just like a monstrous crab but he's like yeah that's me and so like he invented these chasm fiends and these cool crustacean land dwelling animals that i had a fun time it sounds silly but I had a fun time imagining it because I was like, oh, like I'm when I hear troll, I already have a preloaded imagination of what that means and any other explanation

is going to be ancillary to it because I've already established it is the cave troll and Lord of the Rings. The cave troll of Mordor, that's what I picture with trolls. With this though, it was so new. It was like I've never pictured like a build, a house sized aggressive, you know, crab with a bunch of weird appendages and stuff. And so I really liked that.

It was creative. I think that's kind of what you're talking about. You want more uniqueness. Give me something new. It's hard to be so completely new that it doesn't exist. Everything is going to be a little crabby or octopussy or birdy or something. But I need to learn how this thing works explain your universe to me i don't want to already know it i'd like to see that also space stuff what should be next what

i liked superheroes superheroes had a great run um at a point although i've heard that miss marvel the one with the kid is actually good i haven't seen it and i don't have any excitement for it it used to be fucking marvel could shit in a bucket, and I'd be dying to take a look at it. And now, you know, maybe when Thor comes out, I'm down for that. Like, it's got to be one of the big ones. Yeah.

So, assuming that other people share my vibe that superheroes are kind of on the second half of their bell curve, not dead, but there. Yeah, definitely. What should be on the first half of its bell curve? I used to say Westerns all the time, but I don't know that that's exciting enough. I feel like they're a little pedestrian.

It's very specific, but it would be under sci-fi. I want more confusing, trippy time travel stuff. I like time travel movies. I want it to make sense, at least enough sense you can never hear me out travel movie make full sense but sci-fi horror let's do some sci-fi horror we have to battle back a big sci-fi level alien threat and it's not independent state level threat where look i love that movie more than most people. I think I really like that movie. But, yeah, it's silly punching aliens and

the idea of being able to write a fucking not a worm, a virus that would work on an alien computer is so ridiculous on so many levels that it's not remotely technically possible. a virus that would work on an alien computer is so ridiculous on so many levels. It's not remotely technical possible, but, but anyway,

no, I want like, you know, scary take over our ship aliens style problem. And then, you know, a problem that gets bigger. Heck even,

what was the movie with the really good looking lead actor uh you know i'm doing my part uh there was a shower scene where you saw the woman's boobs they got sort of divided up by intelligence um doogie howser was in it uh howzer that's the guy well from Doogie Howser he's from How I Met Your Mother as well yeah shit what was this movie called they were all from like Doogie Howser first we'll find out what Doogie Howser's name is

Doogie Howser's name is Neil Patrick Harris now we'll look up Neil Patrick Harris this is a great this is a great strategy is Neil Patrick Harris. Now we'll look up Neil Patrick Harris. This is a great strategy. Starship Troopers. Success.

Starship Troopers was an excellent show. It had a universe that they didn't really dive into where people were divvied up by intelligence and usefulness. They tested you and told you what you should do rather than sort of let you fight for it which is how our world works and the aliens that were smart brain aliens there were aliens that had range weapons that were sort of fucking uh aliens that could carry other aliens to places over long distances and then those little aliens were their fighter ship aliens and they just had like a an organic version of how we organize our armies and air forces and navies and I like that let's do that

again but not so campy a little more scary yeah I would like that I would enjoy that for sure that Sanderson does that too with the Parshendi in his book. So that's really interesting. I was going to use other terms, but I don't want to fucking actually spoil anything for people who are reading. I want more stuff like The Thing, too. Movies where the bad guys are like, where they infest a person and it's very difficult to discern if they're, you know, truly themselves or not. Those are spooky. I really like that. I mean, it's the old trope of like, you know, the most dangerous people are the ones around you.

But it's compelling. Like The Thing, favorite horror movie ever. I don't think anything gets that close to The Thing for me. I just, I love it. What's The Thing, favorite horror movie ever. I don't think anything gets that close to The Thing for me. I just, I love it. What's The Thing? Is there one called The Blob that I'm thinking of instead? There is a blob, but The Thing is where they go to that base in the Arctic and then that monster starts coming,

inhabiting and mimicking the crew members. And then they are trying to discern who the monster is and they don't know because once they like inhabit and become so like if i was on there with you and it got me it would absorb everything that taylor knew and so it would know the interactions that i'd previously had with woody taylor yeah and so it'd be like oh i remember last time i spoke to woody when it was actually taylor he said he was going to check the fucking wind temperature, wind chill. And so I'd come back and go, I was checking the wind chill. What are you talking about?

Like that kind of spookiness. I really, really enjoy that. I don't know if it could be done better. I remember at the very end, if I have it right, didn't he like drink gasoline or something? And you're like, oh, here's the thing. You're still like the threat. I kind of want to see that.

Does it hold up or is it old and stupid now no it holds up like it's i watch it probably once a year or so it's really still holds up i love the thing john carpenter's best movie for sure so something like that would be tremendous i would love more whodunit sci-fi mystery thriller horror just not comedy no more comedy movie i haven't watched a fun like a good comedy movie in forever i don't give them much chance but like if i want something really funny it's like i know like all these old shows i do enjoy sunny old simpsons family guy like those do deliver like there are times like i'll watch like a family guy from 2002 i was doing this just the other night and they'll say a joke that like i'm like dude if i said that on youtube i'm fucked like

there's no way because the world 20 years ago was so wildly different and so like the subject of trans or anything comes up and it's just like not not even close to the uh the dialogue now and it's it's just wild seeing how how different shit was just 15 years ago than it is now weird but it also could be that golden age fallacy too or like you know i really liked like when i was in middle school that was like prime family guy that's when those episodes were coming out like 2002 or whatever and so now looking back of course like being 31 I'm gonna be like oh this isn't the same this isn't as good and in fairness to my analysis it isn't as good it's not as funny and I know I'm not being biased in that but literally I let it play a couple weeks ago family guy just in the background I was doing some work and it was on season like 17 18 and my wife was in the room on her phone and she just kind of looked up and i wasn't paying

much attention to the episode and she's like is this new and i'm like oh yeah this is new she's like oh this sucks this is not funny like yeah like it's just the dialogue is so different i don't think seth mcfarlane has shit to do with that show anymore other than reading the lines whereas back in the day he was like mr involved he was like a south park level writer like constructing the plots the way the characters interacted so it's a shame family guy was such a fucking funny show back in the day you're probably too too new for you you probably never got into family got too much not super into family guy i mean i've seen a bunch of it i i always thought they're like if you take family guy and remove like the silly expositions is it called no not exposition like the silly little like cutaways little side

journeys they take like this is a dumb show with no plots where they just do these silly cutaways. It wasn't my style of writing. I'd rather have a more serious plot line. Makes sense. Yeah, I mean, so many people, that was like the line of hatred so many people had towards Family Guy when it was really popular. They were like, it's just cutaway gags.

There's no plot. Like even South Park, remember that episode where they were like, how's Family Guy written? It's written by manatees. And then they had the manatee in the tank and they'd go, oh, the manatee's writing. He's getting an idea ball. Oh, he's grabbing a person. Oprah Winfrey.

Oh, now where is she? Old country buffet. And what's she doing? She's having lesbian sex with someone. It's an episode. It's a cutaway. He's done it. Oprah having lesbian sex at someone. It's an episode. It's a cutaway. He's done it. Oprah, having lesbian sex at Pack-A-Barrel.

And like, that was the way they were making fun of it is like how stupid and disjointed it is. But at the same time, like I watched an interview many years ago. It wasn't an interview. It was like one of those specials family guy did probably for episode 100. And he straight up said, he's like,

I'm not trying to do anything with this show other than pack in as many jokes as I possibly can into 30 minutes and get some laughs out of it. Like there's nothing else I'm trying to do. Anything you're reading into it is incorrect. I am just trying to get as many laughs in 30 minutes as I can. And I respect that. Totally respect that. Like they may miss the mark, but, you know, as long as you're trying to be funny, I appreciate that.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Colorado Avalanche won the Stanley Cup. As I predicted. Yes. You know what's wild? My entire bracket. Whole first round, other than one matchup, correct.

Entire second round, other than one, incorrect. Stanley Cup final, correct than one, incorrect. Stanley Cup final correct. Oh, yeah. So, you know, I'm expecting my email from ESPN very soon for my winnings for the bracket challenge. I bet somebody did better. I imagine so. They probably got better.

But, yeah, it was fun. I watched the game. I was disappointed when Colorado won just because I really wanted wanted game seven game sevens are so much more fun i didn't really care who who won the cup too much i because either way it was going to be kind of neat uh who would have hoisted it hosted like uh it would have had home ice oh uh colorado won on tampa's home ice and but they would have won game seven in front of their home ice. Yeah, in front of Colorado fans. If they won, yeah.

The last one would have been home, yeah. Okay. So it was neat seeing it. It was kind of funny that no matter what happened, there was going to be a big streak. Because Pat Maroon had not lost a Stanley Cup since 2018 because he won with the Blues and then won in 20 with Tampa and then won in 21 with Tampa and then almost won again in 22 with Tampa.

And Corey Perry, who is an older guy getting up there in years, he wants one more Stanley Cup. He won one his rookie year with Anaheim in 2007, and now he wants another one. So 2020, he joins the Dallas Stars. He thinks they're a contender. They make it to the Stanley Cup Finals, beaten by the Tampa Bay Lightning. 0-1 for Corey Perry. Next year, he joins the Montreal Canadiens. They were looking a little promising. Make it to the Stanley Cup final, beaten by Tampa Bay. Corey Perry says, I'll sign with Tampa Bay for the lowest you can pay me. Signs with Tampa Bay,

makes it to the Stanley cup final loses to Colorado. And so he is the first player in NHL history to lose three consecutive Stanley cup finals with three different franchises. And it's just pretty, I wouldn't hire that guy on the canes. Yeah. People were joking. What if we make it to the finals?

They were like, is Patrick Maroon's power strong enough to beat Corey Perry's? Nope. It's not. In Colorado, it's a testament to how incredible their offense was and even their defense to a lesser extent. I mean, Kiel McCarr is incredible, best defenseman in the world, but he's not a very defensive guy.

They only lost four games. They went 16-4, which is unbelievably fucking good. They lost two to the blues and two to the tampa bay lightning so to like only lose to two teams is pretty pretty wild they also had i think regular season playoffs combined tied for the highest number of wins and they won the whole time with their goalie darcy kemper posting the lowest save percentage a goalie who wins the Cup has posted in the modern era. Like.900. He was straight up not

good. And Colorado just scored so many that they were like, you know what? If we have to win games 6-5, that's what we're going to do. You know what you should do next year? Goalie for Colorado. You might win. You don't have to be that good, it seems.

I'll take a big old pay cut from whatever they're paying him. I'm an inside man, making him terrible. So this year, Golden State won the NBA championship. They have been to this championship six of the last eight years. They have won four of the last eight years this is pretty solid dynasty type stuff and uh you say no parody but some of the years they missed it they like didn't even make the playoffs they had injuries but um that's the thing about basketball like three great players is a dynasty like you know you can find two more that'll be good enough for them to win. Whereas in hockey, it takes more than three good players to make a good team.

Oh, yeah. Football, three good players. Every football team has three good players. That doesn't get it done. But in basketball, it makes a lot. I think every team sport other than basketball is guaranteed at least three good guys on the squad. It's just basketball, there's only fucking five of them on the on the court at any time and yeah yeah they're all athletes and it's and they're all seven feet tall and it's fucking basketball like every time i see

a basketball court as an adult i'm like did this like this can't be how big they've always been this is like a like a large living room like that they're just not that that wide that big so it's i don't like that about basketball i'd like to see some more hustle in the highlights that i see i see a lot of loping around with giant legs i don't see a lot of sprinting that's a bit of a criticism nowadays of like current players like it if you were to go back into like the 90s maybe even 2000s, 80s, the players didn't like each other. There were rivalries.

They were like, fuck, Boston's coming to town. Fuck Boston. We're going to beat those guys. Fuck Boston. Nowadays, though, like, oh, look at this. It's another group of millionaires who have gone from rags to riches just like me. I have a lot in common with them. We could be friends with these guys from Boston, don't you think?

Yeah. And it doesn't have the same elbow to the chin that it used to, mostly. There's still some guys. There's Miami. They hate everyone, I think. How many wins do you need in a row to be a dynasty in basketball? In a row? Shucks, I don't know. They're saying this Golden State team is a dynasty, and they don't have more than basketball in a row shucks i don't know they're saying this golden state team

is a dynasty and they don't have more than two in a row like they got two than one than one over the course of that i think that's fair zacks is a couple in a decade okay yeah if you get a couple in the 10 year span what do you think three four and ten years i would say like three three cups in 10 years like like when when chicago got three and six like that was a dynasty undoubtedly like they were so fucking good like tampa only got two but they've been so goddamn good for the past three years like straight they're pretty much dynasty they they use some creative workarounds on the salary which i do not like i mean chicago did the same thing in

15 with patrick kane when they won the cup so it's not like gary bettman doesn't know this is going on he just doesn't fucking care but uh yeah it's it's a bummer hockey season's over now because like the amount of content i have to watch just dropped off precipitously like during hockey season it's just whatever hockey games are on that night and then background when like i'm working old king of the hill and then hockey season ends and it's like i gotta start watching a new movie or something or new shows try it i want to like the boys more than i do oh no guys how deep are you in i watched the whole first season when it came out and it was, it was all right.

Um, but hearing like some of your complaints where you're like, they, they, they hit like, they're like a rat hitting those, those electrodes to get a treat where they're like, we got a dopamine hit from that really egregious violence.

What do we do? Do we write a better story? Shut up. More violence. It's like, okay, but what do we do after that? More violence. And after that, more of a what do we do after that? More violence.

And after that, more violence. And so is that what it's kind of doing? Just cycloning into comical levels of violence? They've already done that. There was a recent one. I think Kyle explained it. Some guy got jizzed on by a superhero, which I guess is like getting slimed in nickelodeon but white

and it's like look i love your naughty side i do i like the naughty side more than anyone else i know any anybody else i know but even i'm like dude you're i mean you're you're overdone it i can't get i can't get a dopamine hit out of this anymore and there's nothing you can do that would surprise me it's kind of a running joke that they just like coat this one guy in particular with slime every show just as a way to be one one episode it's blood when it's come when it's yes when it's yeah yeah he's just he's a mess all the time huey well maybe i'll give it another go i'll try it out i not before i watch la confidential though i have to watch that and then tell kyle what i think but what is la confidential is that a current

show no it's an old movie that he said was like super good as far as like a whodunit thriller mystery kind of thing and that's been kind of what i'm interested in most recently is just better mystery thriller if i i was looking for good time travel movies like I mentioned earlier and like it's just the problem that they're just trash. I like Umbrella Academy. Some of them are rough. Umbrella Academy I haven't watched that. Is that time travel?

It's superheroes but not like you think. They're a family. Here's the premise. On one day there were 46 people born one thing that makes it interesting is their moms weren't pregnant at the start of the day they just really quickly gestated and were born cool this eccentric billionaire buys as many of these babies as he can he gets seven of them and he raises them but poorly because he's an asshole and all the kids

become kind of assholes that love each other but they don't really like each other and they're on the same team but you know not strictly and uh so they're like a dysfunctional team and they're supposed to solve crime but they're not that good at it and eventually they end the world. And now they're in a mission to not fuck up like they did last time, but they don't quite know what caused it. And now they're on the third season and they're just always like, they're a little incompetent. And,

uh, I like the attitude that a lot of them have and I enjoy it. I enjoy it. I say superheroes, but more like people with powers. Okay. I don't mind that. it. I say superheroes, but more like people with powers. Okay. I don't mind that. Because they're not really heroes.

These guys couldn't agree what topic to put on a pizza. They're not the Justice League, bro. They're funny. Well, that sounds more enticing to me than like Marvel level superheroes, for sure. Oh, those guys are heroes.

Yeah. Marvel, I'm just not too interested in i wish i was really into it because it's like a million hours of movies if i was just if i was like all about fucking the the flash oh fuck i really okay well then whoever the fast guy is in Marvel. Oh, there is one. What the fuck is he called? The Quicksilver. The Bolt?

Oh, Quicksilver. Okay. My name's better. But Quicksilver. I actually remember playing with Blast from the past. I remember being in first grade playing in my friend's room with action figures, and he had a Quicksilver with a surfboard. That's Silver Surfer. Oh, he had Silver Surfer then. And I didn't know what the fuck was...

What his powers were. And so I picked Bane because he had the coolest hoses and everything. And this kid was so fucking annoying. We're like, I'm trying to play like Bash Him Up Normal. And he's like, Silver Surfer can survive in space. He doesn't need oxygen. So I'm just going to pick up Bane

and fly him into space and kill him. Yeah. And I was like, you're about to find out what bane's handler is gonna do to you if you don't get us back on the ground so we can play yeah silver surfer is like a really top level dude who can like beat planets by himself hardly beat neighborhoods too. Alright, well then he was right in his analysis. He is more powerful than Bane. My rationale is

that guy's muscles are huge. Really, the rationale is your muscles were huge. He didn't say any chance. You want to call it a wrap? Yes, got to do the hangouts. Patreon.com, PKA, join the hangout. PKN 410.