Painkiller Already - PKN 411

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Support the show & watch the PKN video by becoming a $10 Patron today https://www.Patreon.com/PKA PKA on iTunes: http://bit.ly/PKAOniTunes PKA on Podbean: http://painkilleralready.podbean.com

PKN 411. I have been awake for like six minutes. Pulling to Kyle. Wow. How long have you been awake, Kyle? More than six minutes? I got up at six. I've been up all day. Twelve hours in. We're twelve hours in. It's been a long day already. I'm with you on that. For some reason, I decided today's accomplishments, I'd make a checklist. You know, so I just started adding things to my to-do, to-do, to-do, to-do. Did you decide this six minutes ago? No, I got up early. Oh, I thought you said you got up six minutes ago.

I did get up six minutes ago. I took a nap at five-something. Oh, well, that's confusing. I thought you meant Kyle's style, that you were somehow on his schedule. Because you've never gotten that bad. No, I got a lot done today. I was super busy and

I decided to take a nap at five. I hate naps. Naps, they just make you feel weird. Naps are good. No, you don't wake up feeling rested. You wake up feeling like you're cheating the devil

to try and get a little more restedness into a day, but not really. And you feel like you're in a quasi dream state. Like you never fully wake back up into the day. And then you stay up later than you otherwise would have. I've never taken a nap and woken up and been like, I'm so glad I did that. So pause there. What I'm learning is you suck at naps. This is really a taylor problem it

takes me a long time to fall asleep i don't mean to flex on you but i am outstanding at naps and i'm feeling like a million bucks i'm coming i'm waking up right now coming alive this is good i have the super me are you one of those people that like where you're like a dog where if you don't have an immediate need and your maslow hierarchy if you don't need food shelter security you just go to bed because there are people like that who it's like well everything's done for they start like twitching in their sleep a little bit it's like really like oh we can power down get some to power down take advantage of your body how i was today no i had some you know the tasks weren't even that impressive.

I had to buy gas. Oh, shit. How'd it go? It was rough because I bought 30 gallons of diesel. Well, they didn't want to give it to me, right? And so I started blasting. In these big dollies that I put in the back of my pickup truck with the ramp and I pull that shit in

and each one of them weighs like 250 pounds after you put the fuel in them and you have to wrestle it back into the stable while I'll be filling mowers and shit for the rest of the season. It's a task. And my favorite gas station I like to go to. They have off-road

diesel and ethanol-free gas. What more could you ask for? Oh, this is the good stuff. You could ask for them to be open. They're closed. Oh, no. What kind of gas station puts a sign up front that says closed July 4th to 8th? One owned by a white person. They quit for five days? This is peak driving season or whatever you call it.

That's how you know those are white people. Those are white people because like 4th of July, if you want to order food on like New Year's, 4th of July, Christmas, you're getting Chinese food. You know you are. Get ready. And that's what's happened here. The white people are taking the 4th of July off.

God bless their souls. God bless America on our birthday in these harrowing times. You know what fucked me up recently? Ordering food made me think of that. Recently, it was late, very very very late at night and i really wanted a pizza i was very stoned and i did the thing where like the and like i assume i was with it enough to be like you know it's late night my options are dominoes and pizza hut all the good shit's gonna be you know already closed or no longer taking orders and so i put my order through

with one of those two which everyone was open later and i wait like an hour it goes through and i wait like an hour and it's like okay this pizza is not fucking coming apparently the the the ghouls over at pizza hut online they think if you order at 11 57 at night you couldn't possibly want a pizza at 12 30 at night no you want it at 10 a.m the following day they sent me a pizza the next morning and so i'm like i don't like like that's terrorism that's a form of really trying really fucking up someone's day because you're like well i did buy this pizza this happened like a couple weeks ago joe biden's america joe biden's fucking america just everything's going to shit but that is joe biden's america is the new thanks obama

like fucking everything's his fault but tell me i'm not wrong like that is such a little loophole bullshit thing no one wants a pizza the next morning no no one and so that basically that was a way for them to be like this idiot's probably too stoned we'll take we'll take 22 of his dollars for his pizza or whatever it is ship it to him in the morning make him feel like a real tard and then insult to injury that that fat fuck's gonna open the box and greedily dig into his 10 a.m pizza he doesn't order he wants a 10 a.m pizza but yeah and you know it was funny i was just sitting there like working for lunch just being like there's ridiculous

well i'm not a wastrel. I'll get through it. But yeah, that's absolutely criminal. If they won't deliver it that night, shut it down. Just tell me no. I'm okay with that. Just tell me no. But don't trick me.

I spent the morning with the air conditioning man and the internet man. The internet man. It's all sorted now. Everything's all good. The main issue I was having with my PC turned out to be it's Wi-Fi receiver because I wasn't direct connecting because

I couldn't find my cable because I packed. New cable, all hooked up. It's as fast as it could be, but Wi-Fi still is a problem. Is your AC going? Yeah. The issue with the AC was that they had installed a partition in the furnace to turn the AC off to the upstairs of the home because I guess in the wintertime, the upstairs gets hot.

So they put a partition in, and so they took that out. So now my whole house has air conditioning now. Oh, la-di-da. It's a real boon. It's quite nice. AC is supposed to – well, they were supposed to come out today, and I waited through my window, then called them, and the lady was like, Oh, yeah, I do see here.

I see your name and the order input, and it did arrive. Give me just one minute, and I'll call you back. And like an hour and a half goes by. And I start to feel like I've been had, you know. And then, no, she does call me back. And she's like, okay, so do you have air? And I was like, there is no airflow here, ma'am. No, there's no air moving around here.

I have nothing. She's like, the fan? I'm like, no, nothing's working. And she's like, okay, well, you're on the top of the list for tomorrow morning and i was like okay i appreciate it thank you very much but i don't i don't believe you and like until someone shows up motor in hand with their little air conditioning company shirt i'm not gonna believe it because i i've been had by these people too many times with the foundation people and the plumbers and the electricians and the carpenters all just taking you. It's like it's like they come.

I understand so much. All of Woody's just ranting over the years with with contractors and stuff with being a homeowner, because I tried to fool that I am. Well, I started having people over to do these things. I was like, I need to be courteous and nice. And I'd hear Woody be like, and so i tell this fucking liar to eat my ass and so but now these people will walk in and be like oh yeah that foundation thing that'll be four thousand it's like but i just paid you three and they're like yeah how about you suck my dick now on your knees 4500 it's going up by the second every day every second my dick remains dry and it's like, Oh!

I'm working on it! Here's one that they always do with me. They're like, Hey, Woody, I want you to pay half up front and then half when it's done. I'm like, Okay, cool, cool. So I pay half up front. They get like 80% done. They're like, Hey, Woody, can I have some more money? And I'm like, No, no no no that we

have a deal do you remember at the beginning when i paid half up front and you hadn't done anything yet now you have to finish and they're like yeah man but times are really tough yeah you're supposed to be motivated to finish i want you to have it how'd you like to you think you're tough now you should add a lawsuit to the mix i want's going to be rough, isn't it? If I want to get over there and start swinging that hammer, huh? I can remember there was like they had to put light switch plate covers on and there was almost nothing else. And they're like, yeah, there's hardly anything left.

And I'm like, what does that tell you? Maybe you should do it. How about you knock it out, guys? I believe in you. No, I'm overly rude to those people. I'll admit it. I get angry when they lie to me on the phone or when I'm on hold for too long or when I feel like they're not treating me the way I would want to be treated. I lose my fucking shit and I start yelling.

I would want to be treated. I lose my fucking shit and I start yelling. And I rarely curse because, as we all know, that's a real problem. But I shout and I yell and I ask for other people. And I make it very unpleasant for those low-level people because I want them to send me to somebody that can actually do a thing. I've taken a new route. Now, I might be dripping with attitude. I might be impatient, but I am not quotable, right?

If they were to be like, talk to their boss, man, this guy said that he's hecking frustrated. Like, that never gets you in trouble. Like, that's okay. like that never gets you in trouble like that's okay well what did you tell him to say what heck and frustrated yeah tell him that he's one pissed right like stuff like that like it doesn't i'll lose my shit stop everything dead in its tracks if you use a curse word all of a sudden oh my goodness my virgin ears how could you have done that this conversation is really about the way that you talk to me not about the fact that i'm nine days late on this project i

was i was an hour on hold and then i'd been on the phone with this woman named al for about 15 minutes working on the router and you know it's the bullshit you start with and it's like yeah it's fucking plugged in yeah it's the lights are green yeah yeah i'm connected to an internet source and at some point 15 minutes in she asked me if i had the power cable attached to the the modem and i and i and i lost my goddamn mind i said oh i have to cook electricity to it? Yes, sir. Electricity from the wall. I was trying to power it on raw belief.

I was using positive thoughts. I've heard about the power of positive thoughts. I said, I've got this bitch hooked up to my sink right now. Do you think the water hurt it? Yeah. She said, no, do not connect it to the sink right now. Do you think the water heard it? Yeah. No, do not connect it to the sink. Oh, it's already connected. Now I've got to unconnect it. Do I use hot water

or cold? Now she's as frustrated as I am. We're on even... Need your help here, Al. This fire's not going to put itself out. What did I tell you the other day? We're on evil. We're on even. Need your help here, Al. This fire's not going to put itself out. What did I tell you the other day?

I got the scam caller who wanted to get me a small business loan, and I started whispering. I was like, I'm an inmate in a prison in Georgia. You got to call back when the guards aren't around because I want that loan, though. You know what? You should say that you're also in the loan industry and you can really help their rates and you're a valuable addition to their team. Now you're scamming people. That's how life gives you lemons. Now you're scamming the elderly.

Yeah, I cannot wait for my essay to be fixed tomorrow. Hopefully it happens oh you sweet summer child i have uh you're having ac tomorrow well i was at my my grandparents this past weekend for the fourth and they obviously have ac so that was okay and i didn't know my my mom had like one of those freestanding acs with like the tube you can put out through the window and so i brought that back to my house and it's like if i'm standing within three feet of it directly in front of it it's like oh all right we're cooking with gas now our total shit it you walk one feet away you can't tell it's on dude it is a terrible design they've taken all the heat producing noise producing bullshit that isn't an air conditioner and also put that inside your house with you.

You want that shit outside the house. There's a reason that part of the unit goes outside. If I have owned it, I have owned the kind of air conditioner that sits inside your house and blows, I guess, the heat in a tube out the window. They're the worst. It's a stupid design. It's not the one you want. You want a window unit or one of the new window units that are like you shaped in the window closes between the front and the back.

It's like, I'm using it because it was a free option and you're right. It's more the belief in it, working, helping as I'm sitting there on my laptop, but like more than anything, I'm just going to the basement. Like it's,

it's not too bad down there. If you have a little room... You got to get that Walmart AC unit. It just becomes part of your life now. Now you've got one. As soon as it goes out, you're like, fuck you. You just put it in the room. It's like a generator. Every so often the power goes out and you're like, well, this is

how I get the refrigerator and the internet to work. Every so often the AC goes out, I have this thing. Speaking of AC, staying on the AC topic, to AC my garage gym, I'm going to use one of those split level things.

Not a series of fans. No, the series of fans I did did not pan out. I was going to have them all along the walls blowing inward at me. Make a tornado. A series of leaf blowers. All in the same direction and I could create a tornado. Yes, exactly.

Because every so often throw napkins into the mix. Alright, well that's plan A now. We might go back to that. But they're like $750 for one that should cool off a garage quite nicely. And you know,

one part goes on the wall and the installation looks, you're going to, you're going to tackle it. It looks medium to me. It looks like I throw a paver stone down outside, sit the unit on it. And then I've just got to get that, that wire and that coil through the wall.

Have you done before? Of course not. No, but I've drilled holes in things. And you'll need, um, probably two 20 power, right?

Actually. Yeah, that's, um, I get one 15 covers it. Apparently it does. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. It's 13 or 15,000 BTUs. It's right at the cusp of not being quite enough, but I think it'll be fine. I mean, I'll leave the door to the house open at that point. So that'll be pitching in. So yeah, that's the, that's the fine. I mean, I'll leave the door to the house open at that point. So that'll be pitching in. So yeah,

that's the, that's the deal. I am going to probably try to do it myself. I think you're going to like it. I love, you know, everyone is like, what?

He's got the coolest gym. It has this functional trainer. And I'm like, but have you seen my mini split? The temperature in here is anything I want it to be. It's one of my favorite parts of the gym. Oh, are you upstairs or downstairs with your gym? Downstairs.

Okay. So when you went through the wall, I guess, like with your. They did it. But yeah, they went through the wall. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

It's going to take a little. I don't quite have the tools for that, but I think a trip to the Home Depot is going to get us sorted. When I was in Apex, I installed a natural gas heater that went through the wall and i found the task to be pretty manageable yeah i mean working with my dad i've put in like industrial heaters and like poultry houses before and cut holes and walls and mounted them before it's it's really a matter of making it look pleasant to my neighbors and and then i don't want anything like janky hanging off the side of the house. I've seen online

where they go out that little hole that your dryer blows out, but I don't have that on that side of the house, unfortunately, so I've got to go the other way. I think that'll fix the problem and I can get the gym going. I've got 75% of everything unpacked, I would say. Nice. Maybe the other 25% will take four months. I refuse to allow that to happen every day. I tackle at least one box.

That's the rule. I mounted my TV yesterday. Once I had it all bolted in, mounted to the wall, and then hung the TV, I sat down on the couch, looked at it, and went, that's way too fucking high. So you got to rehang it? Yeah, yeah.

That is not even close. Way, like, two feet too high. Like, it's not my neck. Are you sitting there watching like this? Yeah, yeah. And I had it in my head. Can you move the couch back 10 feet? No, there's, like, pillars, and it's, like, perfectly matching the pillars right now and and we're taking her down i was so i'm so

upset because it was without getting into a whole thing like the stud finder doesn't work on the decorative mantle piece that i have and and so you're just hoping for the best back there that sucks it sounds like you're gonna have have some extra holes. Well, let's just accept that. I'm not going to send you pictures of all the holes that I have already made, but I ordered putty before the TV was hung. I went

putty. We're going to need putty. I have rings in my gym, right? So there's like, I don't know, a mount that goes on the ceiling that the rings hang from. And while I was on the ladder, I thought I did a banging job. I was like this. And it's very strong.

It's sturdy. But it is crooked by, like, 20 degrees. It is like, I don't know how anyone could be as incompetent as I was that day. It's not a little bit off. It's seriously crooked. And every time I see it, I'm like, what's worse? Crooked or extra holes?

I think I know what I'm doing, too. As far as squaring stuff up, I got my level up there. I'm marking my holes, but you can't find the goddamn studs back there. I drilled about 15 holes, I would say. Stud finder technology is not where it needs to be.

No. Why is it not good? Mine worked on my area above my, my fire. In my particular case, I have this decorative piece that extends, um, out from the wall above the mantle.

And it goes like 20 something feet to the ceiling. And so you've got this extra, like two and a half inches between you and the wall and then the studs are in the wall somewhere so it just won't work anymore aren't the studs vertical yes so like if you if it's hanging up there now albeit too high can you just like go two feet down straight line so you don't have to search anymore yeah yeah uh yeah i i've got it now i think although if i'm being a hundred percent honest only the screws on the left actually found a stud the first place i just kind of said fuck it there at the end and hung that big ass tv up there and i literally said

if it comes down it comes down i've got insurance well either you had you had a good good guess or that's some powerful sheetrock it felt better whatever i drilled into felt more substantial than drywall but less substantial than than a stud and and i said that's it that's it and i zipped my lag bolts in and i called was there any uh because i know how things like that are where i left the wrong back on an ikea bookshelf for years because i didn't want to switch it after I'd made it. Was there a part of you or a brief window of time when you turned around and looked at it that you thought this is doable, this is workable? And then you had to go, no, I'm going to have to redo this entire project.

I sat down and my neck started hurting a little from just watching like up for a moment or two and I just lamented the failure that was that 20 minutes that took me to hang the goddamn thing and I didn't rehang it you know I just took the TV down and I'm gonna do it after this because that TV's pretty heavy

and I've got to lift it over my head especially since I mounted it so fucking high. You're like on your tippy toes, barely. Worse, worse. I'm barefoot standing on a weight bench that I've got, and I'm like... Oh, man.

It's fun. It's fun. Precarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still in the market for one of those projectors. You know how it is whenever we talk about something, though. I get blown up with people, don't buy this. Don't buy that.

Oh, my God, I bought one, and it blinded my mother. Don't get it. It's always something. So it fills me with so much doubt that it's like it's almost not worth talking about buying things when we're us. Because, you know, Wings bought that Mustang, for example. He loved that Mustang. It's almost not worth talking about buying things when we're us. Wings bought that Mustang, for example. He loved that Mustang. He told the internet, boys, look what I did.

I love it. Don't you love it? And they ruined it for him. So I feel like I could go get a projector and I'd be sitting here like IMAXing out, eating my roasted pork, watching Lord of the Rings. And the internet would be like oh kyle didn't you know that for 37 less you could have gotten the new blah blah blah so i don't know i'm trying to find one i like is just don't say the name of it on the show and then you can always believe that well i want help but nobody seems to agree about what's good well one thing you need to be

assembling in the next few days when you're you know know, getting all set up is that smoker. So you can be having smoked chicken and pulled chicken throughout your week. Fit in your diet, a little brisket. And it's the kind of thing that immediately I know you're going to set it up, do it. And like the next day you're going to be like, I've got five different spice blends ready. I'm ready to try. And then because you would immediately go to homemade spice blends and trying to make things like that it'd be fun and it tastes great i might it's in your diet why not yeah yeah i like the idea of doing the chickens in particular i might

get a smoker but like i got so much to do right now like assembling a smoker is going to be a bitch and every time i turn around it's 700 more dollars because like the heater was 700 the trigger 700 yeah and and this this uh it's been a it because like the heater was 700 the trigger 700 yeah and and this this uh it's been a it's been a fun week 700 adds up pretty quick pretty immediately yeah i got i got i got this office pretty well set up i gotta put my iconic red and black shit behind me and uh a few other little things but i haven't gone outside since i've moved though because it's so fucking hot outside. The humidity is wild down here, and I think it's 90-something now.

Yeah, it's unlivable outside right now. It's horrible. 90. I had to get my motorcycle inspected for the second time, which is bullshit. And I was wrong. Here's what happened. I took my motorcycle last week to get inspected. Cool.

And then I came home, and I went online to register it. It said, last week to get inspected. Cool. And then I came home and I went online to register it. It said your bike's not inspected. So then I looked at it and the VIN numbers match, but the title numbers don't. I don't know what that is. I don't know what a title number is all about, but I could see that the receipt didn't match my registration. So I figured they made a mistake and entered it incorrectly. I call them. They're like, you have to come in. I'm like, isn't this something you can do over the phone just enter it correctly nope so i get all dressed up in my black riding gear brave the 110 degree with humidity whatever nonsense i fucking melt waiting in line and then i get there and he's like i don't know it looks like we entered it

correctly and that title number that's not something we even mess, I don't know. It looks like we entered it correctly. And that title number, that's not something we even mess with. I don't know why that's on there at all. So it turns out that it just took like six days for the DMV to get their information. I don't know anything that takes six days. That's a computer. Like emails don't take six days. No, I don't know what happened. My theory is, and I asked this, I was like, let's say you inspect a car and the upload doesn't work. And then you do the next car. Will it do both? Will it upload the batch? And he's like, yes.

And we've been having that problem. So I think that it just came a few days later in a batch and 17 inspections came at one time. But anyway, the point is, I melted and I even gave the guy a little bit of sass. Nothing quotable. Nothing quotable. And I even gave the guy a little bit of sass. Nothing quotable. Nothing quotable. But I was like, I said something to the effect of like, hey, it might be my mistake.

But I think maybe you entered the wrong VIN number. But I said it clearly implying you are a fuck up who doesn't know how to enter a VIN number because it's unlikely to be my mistake. I know all my numbers. And then afterwards afterwards I was like I'm sorry. I came in here a little grumpy and cranky thinking it was you who made the mistake and it was me.

Well, the DMV does suck. But like what you're talking about, it's the same with the DMV, the bank, like taxes. You make a mistake that benefits you. Oh, the IRS is on the motherfucking case right away. That mail goes out same day, three seconds after they realize, like if there's a discrepancy for $35 in your income reporting. But you overpay.

There's some mistake in that direction. And it's, oh, my goodness gracious. You know what? You did do that three years ago, and we've just now noticed. Do you want us to apply it? We'll keep it if you want. My example of that is police body cam footage. If the police have a good shooting, that body cam footage is released like 45 minutes later.

If the police, for example, spend an hour and a half waiting outside while a gunman mows down children in an elementary school, that body cam footage is lost in a tragic server accident. Every camera, every cop. It wouldn't be very good footage. It'd just be a video of them watching Family Guy reruns in the parking lot.

With an occasional gunshot disturbing their peace. And they're like, God, turn the volume up! Keep it down! Rude. I didn't even know there was another shooting until today. I guess there was one on the 4th. I don't watch the news, and I wasn't on Reddit at all yesterday. So I had no idea.

I did say, like, weeks ago, this is going to be a really hot summer. People get cranky when it's hot. They kept us locked up for two fucking years straight. There's going a lot of shootings this year and i stand by that i think i think one of the reasons there's going to be a lot of shootings this year is because it's fucking hot and and the dmv makes mistakes sometimes and they make you ride your motorcycle all the way into town and it doesn't matter when you get there if you realize it was your fault maybe maybe you just need to i mean but people it could be that it being so hot people are like oh fuck this i'm it's too it's too hot to be a criminal

right now no i should get a job where there's ac they don't pay me enough for this that's what they're saying they're saying they don't pay me enough for this and then they go on the rampage what was it the last guy looked weird though did you see the picture of this uh this guy from yesterday no he looks like i noticed that a lot of these serial murderers not they look a little weird you rarely see like george clooney go on a rampage zach can you show us a picture of that of that clown from yesterday that guy don't even know what happened yesterday. He shot up a 4th of July parade. He was the sniper dude, right? Again, I have limited information. I saw his face.

This is going to be about 60% right. But if I understand... People, welcome to the show. He was a sniper. He got maybe like 6 or 10 kills and 36 wounded people. Like a military guy? I don't think he was actually a military guy. I think he

just sniper is this technique, not his training. So maybe we can hunt this guy, hunt down a few actual facts about this dude. Yeah. But there is

a yeah, you see a lot of the photos of the people who commit those things and they have those dead eyes. Oh, that's a lot of the photos of the people who commit those things, and they have those dead eyes. Oh, that's a good picture of him. That's his best picture. Look at his name. Robert Bob E. Cremo III. In Highland Park, Chicago.

Yeah, do you have the wacky one where he's got the bowl cut and the maniacal eyes and his face doesn't look like it's shaped right? This is his best angle too. This is like a Tinder picture. He's wearing a blazer. I'm just scanning this article on, I think it's

the New York Times. Or when he's dressed as a female. What? He fired 70 rounds. He exited the roof dropped his rifle and blended in with the crowd to escape it's not very snipery that is kind of snipery don't you think oh i guess trying to blend in with the crowd afterward yeah but he got what i think of as a sniper from a movie he had six kills uh and a seventh died on tuesday two victor the victims included two parents of a toddler who survived the shooting.

That sucks. I saw a number that was really high on the injuries. I'm glad they survived. But there was a chance that the injuries were not related to bullets. He's shooting into a crowd and people are trying to escape and they get hurt that way.

They're mobbed. Oh, yeah. That's sad. Jesus Christ. Yeah, this guy had tried to kill himself before. He had a pretty troubled past. There's something in there about how they took all his knives and guns away or something. Not all of them.

I'm scanning. That might have been a while back. Anyway, the guy was super troubled and he shot into a crowd. He got six kills, and a lot of people were hurt. There you go. That's what I'm talking about. That's my man.

Yes, that's the picture that I see around most of the time. He's not a looker. He's going to have a hard time on Tinder. He's not a good-looking man, but I would argue that he could make a pretty woman. I don't see where you're coming from there. I think you doll this fellow up a little bit and shave him down. Put a nice wig on him. He's got those

pretty eyes. Pretty eyes? Those are the deadest eyes I've ever seen in my life. They're blacked out with Sharpie. He's got shark eyes. Well, that's the photo quality, alright? They got dog's eyes. Woken in here. he's got shark eyes well that's the photo quality alright like a

like a yeah well he looks like a fucking shark eyed demon that's him too that's a pretty man yeah is this a photoshop what the fuck did this come from like where where where is he

it's him after dressing as a woman maybe i don't i don't care what he if he dresses a woman i mean that sounds like i just zach wrote it in the um in the chat like maybe i think he was describing the picture oh that's him as a woman i don't know guy's super troubled um he dressed as a woman. I don't know. Guy's super troubled. He dressed as a woman to escape. Oh, he's saying... Yeah, I did hear that too. He dressed as a woman and escaped into the crowd. Okay, well I like that. That's actually kind of cool.

Yeah? You don't see that much with the disguise. I do think it catches him off guard a little bit. It's a... They're not looking for a woman. I think of cops as dumb for the most part. So, you know, like the radio comes up, we're looking for a white male with facial hair

and an ugly woman stumbles by. I think he's just getting through the crowd. Hmm. So Zach says that Taylor lost power. He might be gone for a bit that makes sense he was making that weird face there for a while that i kind of wish he'd stayed because i like that so much yeah the uh the guy came in to fix my internet there were syringes all over the fucking uh coffee table had to explain myself what did you tell him i told him it was fucking juice and i was getting big

yeah yeah no this isn't for fun this is for performance i offered him some no i didn't offer him any he can't have any of my delicious testosterone i uh i had a really good meeting with my doctor the other day it was all good stuff the the like the the clinic uh derek's clinic that doctor they're really good people i like working with them it's it's um you know it's all telemedicine but what was the nature of the meeting that made it good was it did you like going over blood work or okay yeah going over blood work i was concerned with some of my kidney levels and he was i don't know his he said something about i do you know what the test was called for kidney levels i don't

know um i'd have been hemocrat hemoc for kidney levels i don't know um i'd have been hemocrat hemocrit or something i don't remember it doesn't matter but but okay it was it was all good stuff is is why it was a good meeting uh oh and that um did you see where i i mentioned that that drug um that's that's good for blood pressure in our chat oh i don't think i did yeah they recommended a blood pressure drug for me and i actually linked it in our chat that we're in right now with zach if you scroll up um it's like all it's one of those drugs that seems seemingly all good things when you start reading what it does it's like wait it fixes my blood pressure makes my dick hard and makes me skinny you say and more stamina it's like it just seemed like a cool drug. Wow, I do need to check this out.

I have my blood pressure pretty locked in now. I want to say my last reading was like 122 over 80 or something. It might even have been 120 over 82. It's pretty solid by my standards. It's a narrow range

they accept. For people who don't know know 120 over 80 is good. If you were like 124 over 80, they're like, oh, we got our eye on you. I'm like, really? Isn't 124 and 120 roughly the same? You guys really stress over small differences, but they do. I don't remember what mine was. I sent you a picture of it whenever I got it done last at that physical, but it was good.

It was definitely, definitely within the reference range or whatever it needed to be. I think my thyroid was doing something weird. Um, cause I had discontinued taking some selenium. So I went back on selenium to fix that. I don't know that comprehensive blood work. It's so,

there's so many things they tested for maybe 21 tests, but, um, you need to go Trump. Fewer tests, fewer problems. Oh, God. That's how we handled COVID. How did your tests come out? 100%?

Not a thing wrong with me. Well, they checked for diabetes. That's it. They made sure it was red. Outside of that, no trouble. That was one of the things, I guess, definitely not diabetic or pre-diabetic good insulin insulin response or something i don't know i like i i really like

going over my blood work with a with a doctor and like the whole way through he's talking about things i don't know anything about but he's like and this is good too and i'm just like yeah i thought it might be i feel it would you know i don't mean to brag, but my endocrine levels have always been a strong point for me. I've been working hard on them. I don't even know if that's a thing. It's basically like a 20-minute praising session and then keep lifting heavy stuff. So no, it went really well. How is your lifting going now?

I haven't been able to lift like this week you know right right the gym is it's just in disarray but but overall really well i'm looking forward to having everything like where it goes because like right now like i don't know my proteins in a one box and my blenders in another and i need to get moved in moved in and get the that gym rolling because i got the flooring in and that goddamn ac it's i got so much to do every fucking day it's it's stressful dude that's like part of the process though like next time you're like peeking and crushing it it's gonna be like yeah it all started with an ac unit and some rubber flooring and i'm first i made this place happen and then i picked up shit repeatedly until I look like this. It's cool.

It'll be all part of the progress and the mission. I'm kind of on top of my lifting game right now. I'm even doing leg day, which is bullshit. But here I am doing legs and glutes because I want a good ass, I guess, for some reason. And I'm sitting there with like a barbell across my hips, fucking dry humping the air for no goddamn reason. But there I am wanting a fatter ass. Yep. And I'm,

I've come back from injury. I don't hurt anymore. Like pretty much at all. I can do every exercise again. And like, you know, when you're, you're going for,

if you're like me, you go for a while and then every exercise starts getting to your prs and then you get knocked off your game for whatever reason vacation or injury typically and you have to get back to where you were well right now i'm at a spot where like all my exercises are at a pr where yeah you're at the edge every day i'm like three prs in the gym for my various movements. That's really good. Now's the time. I know you're like, let me cut three pounds.

But what you should be doing is let me throw 10 pounds of fat on while I really maximize these gains. Let me see if Derek will stick something in my ass to make me strong. What's going to happen is I'm going to take that vacation. I almost feel like I'm wasting my time. What happens is you hit a PR, and yesterday's PR is today's new normal. And by the way, when I say I hit PR, people listening, I'm not maxing out. It's like, oh, I've decided to add weight and do it eight, 12 times. I'm not doing single maxes. And then it is.

I went five pounds heavier than last time. I lifted it eight times. Now next week, you have to do it again. Which I think is a bigger deal, by the way. When you make whatever our maxes are, whenever those numbers go up, I have no idea. I assume that they're continuously going up at a very small rate, like micrograms or something continuously on the digital clock or something. But what I really care about is how much weight am I working with on a daily basis, lifting over and over and over

and over. That's the number that even matters. At some point, I get to a point where I'm like, I am lifting this weight 12 times with perfect form and slowly. And I've decided that that's not enough for me. So I need to lift a heavier one eight times. Then once I get that to a point where I'm doing it 12, form is perfect, and my time under tension is long enough, I raise it again. I'm just there with most of my exercises, but it feels like it's all for naught because I'm going on a motor ride. I'm not going to lose all my gains, but it is what it is. Yeah. I'll look a little better bathing in a lake that's true or maybe you'll be just strong enough to to like pull a motorcycle off your buddy or something

do something you really need to do that's happened like there's been a couple of incidents where like last year i lifted a motorcycle off a buddy um there was a a time when my friend couldn't lift his bike like it was tilted downhill a little bit so it was extra hard and uh he's like you know oh this yacht's down it's pointed down you can't lift it and i was like yeah i just need a little space you know which was like stand aside while the grown-ups handle this problem for you. And I lifted it and I felt good about myself. Yeah. No, it's definitely usable strength when you're, you know. Yeah. There's heavy stuff to lift occasionally.

It is rare, though, that it's like really heavy. True. Definitely around the house. I think I've said I only need to be strong enough to lift the garbage into the dumpster, really. Groceries is mine. Yeah. If I can put like three in each hand i've reached all my usable strength yeah yeah pretty much there's not a lot of heavy stuff to normally

lift but you never know you never know might have to fight off a dog or something my neighbor doesn't my just lets their dogs run around outside that's what the bear spray is for i do have bear spray somewhere i keep it in the golf cart that neighbor moved but it was your idea like i didn't know what to do i was like i'm gonna end up shooting this neighbor's dog this dog keeps attacking me like i love dogs i like dogs more than most people there are people who like dogs and then i like them more than they do but if a dog's attacking me if the dog is like it was at the point we had to see our yard we're kind of far from the edge of the property the dog was coming deep into our property and making it so my wife was trapped in her car waiting for the dog to allow her to come into the house and leave and

get bored um it was a problem but that neighbor moved that's good yeah i don't i hear a dog now yeah i don't i don't have any uh i don't have any dogs coming into my yard but they're definitely like patrolling the sidewalks people in atlanta i was actually looking at a dog on um i'm thinking about getting a dog okay so i'm on the humane society uh website in atlanta and it's nothing but pit bulls it's's 95% pit bulls. And then the ones that are remaining have, like, sad stories. It's like, this is Oliver. We removed the tumor, but it will come back. His life expectancy depends on how you'd like it treated.

And I'm like, oh, that's code for this is an expensive-ass hound dog. Like, I don't want to pay for Oliver's chemo. I'm sorry. I'm not looking to get into that game. But i would like an adult or maybe even an older dog who could just kind of chill with me and like sit right there and just just just be normal yeah an already house broken dog has its charms yeah i don't want a puppy there's something to be said for that oh one of our dogs harley for people who know her gums are bleeding which we've seen in another dog and we think it's like a cancer brain tumor type crazy thing and uh jackie responded by shopping for dogs

you are so heartless she but wait whose dog is potentially dying and jackie started shopping for dogs oh well ours you might call it hope's dog but yeah it was the one that she named wait harley is the black and white one oh that's the one that's got the bleeding gums yes yeah yet i was talking about your dogs to someone the other day how those dogs have these little short life expectancies at three because i was looking at the dogs i was like yeah this one's five and they're like that's kind of old is it like no not really these dogs live to 15 or 17 stuff like that woody's dogs though at five they're it's been downhill for a while i've lost that that extra step that you step out of five.

I don't like them with all their steps, though. I like a dog that likes to sleep. Like seven years is kind of where it starts. Oh, starts. I'm sorry. Yeah, I didn't let you finish. Eight years is about the life expectancy for a Great Dane. So if you see a seven-year-old Great Dane, that's a sleepy dog.

Yeah. I don't know if that's better or not because on one hand man it's hard to lose a dog that you spent like your entire life with like some of these dogs that live to be 20 these i see those cats on reddit they're like 23 year old old man still playing with his yarn it's like damn that cat's been with you through your entire life like what are you gonna do when that poor fucking cat dies you're gonna have a meltdown um it's been it's been rough when i've lost pets in the past but i don't know i got all got over it after a week or so you just get a new one and just get through it but but it's it sucks i wish that uh wish there was some some way to make a dog that could live maybe 70 years.

Would you – oh, that's a good question. Would you want a dog that can live for 70 good years like a person? Yes. An alternative would be when the dog dies, if you could make a new one just like it. Clone it? Yeah. I want it like – The memories too though.

You want the personality. Yeah, that's the thing. But I think a lot of that personality comes from I think a lot of that personality is genetic. Ender, he's our big black dog with the one fucked up ear. He might be the best dog I've ever had.

Dakota was good too, but Ender is just so sweet. He's happy all the time. He loves you. He is the perfect personality of a dog according to me and uh i've thought like should we like get some blood from this dog we need to jurassic park this shit like how do we how do we do this is there some crisper experiment out there that gets you're literally talking about cloning that dog. Yeah.

Yeah. He is a great dog. And I know we can't make him live forever. Google real quick if we can clone a dog, Zach, and how much it costs. My guess is, and it's a pure guess. I have no information here. I would imagine, though, in our day and age, because the first clone sheet was like 2001. Yes.

It's been 20 years. It seems like... 50 grand to clone a dog and 30 grand for a cat. I thought it was going to be like 10. At 10, I might consider it because if you buy a

dog from a breeder, Grudane, it's going to be like $2,500. I wouldn't even bring a kid back for $50. But I wonder how much of a clone is it? Is it exactly the same? Do you get the same? Is it like an identical twin?

Or not? Even identical twins are a little different. Personality-wise. I don't know about personality. Or not. Because even identical twins are a little different. Personality wise. Yeah. I don't know about personality. That's interesting. I think the personality is formed over the dog's life. I'm really tied into this idea that it's more nature than nurture.

Now it's both. Right? Right? I mean clearly you can raise a pit bull to be sweet. Or you can raise it to be a bloodthirsty, beaten cage fighter. Let's see. Myth. Clones of exactly the same temperament and personality

are the animals from which they were cloned. Temperament is only partly determined by genetics. It has a lot to do with the way the animal has been raised. So it's calling it a balance. Well, you would imagine that as long as you treat this dog in a somewhat similar manner uh you know everything would work out you remember the movie the boys from brazil where they made like a hundred clones of hitler put them in households like hitler grew

up in civil service father you know and a stay-at-home mother and then hitler's dad died when he was like 11 so now you got to send an assassin around the world, assassinating the 100 fathers of the 100 fathers. I don't know. They're trying to make more Hitlers? They're trying to make a perfect Hitler. They made him in Brazil, the boys from Brazil. And then they planted them all around the planet, United States, Europe, everywhere.

Yeah, it's an interesting movie. So what happened with all these Hitlers in the movie? They look like they're these little blue-eyed hitlers and uh this this guy's trying to stop them from you know what he's really trying to do is stop the guy who's going around assassinating all the hitler's fathers because that's kind of the leading edge that's how he can track them and uh the movie pays off with the big thing where the guy's trying to assassinate another one of the fathers the good guy is trying to stop him boy hitler is there and what we don't know is that boy hitler has two doberman attack dogs which he sticks on the would-be assassin

and watches gleefully as they like tear apart. And he just goes, I don't remember what he says. It was one of the American Hitlers, but he says something like radical or something lame like that as you watch the guy get torn apart. It's an okay movie. It's a cool premise. That sounds like a cool premise. We're talking about cloning Woody's dog because it's such a good dog.

He's such a hecking good boy that Woody wants another. He is. I got that from colin when colin uses bad words like we come down on him too much maybe not too much but so he started being like if he gets really frustrated he'll be like heck you and it's like how could you be mad at that you gotta be like i mean colin you can you can juice it up a little throw me an hG double hockey stick sometimes. No, Hegg and Goodboy is a thing

from the internet. Oh, okay. Well, I bet the technology is there to clone a dog. It's $55,000 for a dog. But what are the guarantees like? That's what we've been discussing. You know, the nature versus nurture,

that apparently the temperament has a good deal to do on how you raise the dog and the environment that it's in, but I put forward that when he calls his dog, he raises the same dog again. It should be the same dog. I mean, a little bit different because maybe it didn't get scared that one time

by the mailman, or maybe it didn't get scolded too harshly because it peed on the rug. It's not as fucked up or not fucked up as any dog could be. You're trying to basically clone a dog that would have the same temperament

and behavior. Basically, you're trying to clone him his biological behavior because Woody's going to raise him the same way. So the environment will be the same. Well, there are just good dogs and bad dogs. And there are stupid dogs and smart dogs. But if there was a stupid dog cloned from Woody's smart dog,

that would feel like a refund is in order. Like, hey, that's not a cloning. This isn't my dog. Here's the question. He opens the door and lets himself dog. Here's the question. Here's how they could get you. I bet you'd agree to $50,000 if it's not $50,000 to make you one dog. It's $50,000 to get

the machinery in order. Now, anytime you want a new one, $3,200. We crank them out. Yeah, exactly. Still $3,200200 though you know well normal dogs are 2500 yeah at least this kind of you know so how much were your dogs did you get them from breeders or something else yeah yeah we got them from breeders they were like a grand a piece

so not too horrible they're also smaller dogs and not like purebreds or anything so they're a little cheaper we've done the whole thing you know we've we've had dogs like rescues um we've had dogs that were like super rescues mange maybe not even survive and then ender was like championship lineage type dog but with a fucked up ear and uh he's been so good we're like fuck maybe maybe these like breeder dogs are good could you uh breed him with another great day not anymore oh no he doesn't have the hardware for that fair enough fair enough yeah he's the opposite of kyle he's low t low t although my sperm count is incredibly low i'm sure that's one thing we didn't test they're just dead on arrival. Yeah. I like to imagine

it was like tadpoles with broken tails just bumping into each other. Kyle's testicles are on vacation. They don't have any work to do. The body's got tea all it needs. I consider getting a vasectomy real seriously.

Honestly, if it were more convenient, I would. If there was at-home vasectomy real seriously. If they were, honestly, if it were more convenient, I would. If there was at-home vasectomy, I'd be like, yeah, come on over Route 3. Dude, I'll do it. You won't find a cheaper vasectomy provider than me. I guarantee it. I guarantee it.

I'll do it for like $15. You're going to charge? I won't charge you any more than the cost of the rubber band that's not of a sec to me that's different um i i'm thinking about getting a dog pretty seriously nice i want um i don't give a shit i I'm going to get... What size? Medium. Medium, okay. I want a dog that's big enough that if you step on it, no problem. But small enough that if it shits on the floor, no problem. Like 45 to 65 pounds, kind of. Like 30, 35, 40, between 30 and 50.

Somewhere in that little sweet spot, I think. I also want to be able to grab the dog and pick it up very easily if I need to get it away from us. Kyle, you can grab a miniature horse and pick it up easily. Not comfortably, though. He can't leave that on his lap while he's watching his shows. He could. It would be cool.

They do have a big pig that's for adoption in Atlanta and two rabbits if anybody in Atlanta wants to get a whole farm going. Start a Disney movie? adoption in Atlanta and two rabbits if anybody in Atlanta wants to get a whole farm going. Disney movie? The pig looked really friendly. Great idea, Snow White.

No, I like animals, so I don't know what I'm going to get, though. I almost considered some cats. They had a couple of cats that looked pretty cool. What looked cool about them? Honestly, what it was is that they write these little bios for them. And stick with me here. I know what you're thinking.

They're just making shit up. Yes. So many of them don't have a bio. Or so many of them have a shitty bio. Like, we don't know too much about Oscar. He just showed up with three legs one day and blood all over him. Dude, I would love for my job to be head propagandist at the pound and people like are envious about my abilities they're like you know they call him

the seller you know he goes there and he shuts them down because there's no more strays they have the most magnificent backstories i know how from the second from the circumcision argument how important it is to be attractive to girls right okay with that in mind hypothetical female woody might fuck you just to see your wolf my wolf your wolf i'm not buying a wolf and i'm not trying to fuck any female woodies either well i think you need to be more open-minded on your rearrange in my knife drawer knife that's that's two strikes woody come back to the table no i i we we talk cannibal burris what i'm right he's wrong on this and you should get a wolf no the wolf is too much man like like you saw that firsthand or not firsthand

but you looked it up i saw it firsthand yeah i don't want that plus i think they're very expensive yeah or the exotic cat thing i thought was interesting so pissed everywhere they do piss everywhere exotic cats like the more what they do is they take an exotic cat like a wild cat and breed it with a regular cat like a surreal or something and if it's 50 50 the cat is too wild and it sucks and it's very expensive and then if it's like a couple generations in each one bred with a domestic cat it gets cheaper and cheaper and cheaper but less cool so now you have a cat that's barely an exotic cat costs a little bit of a premium but is it even cool anymore diminishing returns not even worth it it's like having the coolest you want to be on the spectrum it's like having the world's

most expensive nerf gun it's like it's still not that cool You have to decide whether you want a cat that's a little bit murderous but cool or all the way down to being practically a regular cat. Just go for a dog, man. Don't get a cat. Just get a dog. The best cats in the world have owners that say, this cat is practically a dog.

You can get a real dog. You're making this out to be a binary decision there are many other pets it's either dog or raccoon that's number two that seems like a binary choice when you lay it out like that

it's either dog or raccoon those little hands it is binary if I could be like eating a chicken nugget he's totally not acknowledging that he just altered the binary decision. You make it out to be dog or cat. There's only two choices. It's dog or raccoon.

It's dog or raccoon, you absolute fool. I guess the cat's still technically a choice. There's three. I'm not going to be a cat. Try it out. Get a cute little pup. Get a couple little dogs. You'll get a couple little dogs. Or just start with one.

Just start with one. I know they're illegal, Zach. I know. I'm hardcore. What's illegal? I'm a fella, don't you know? You think I'm scared of an illegal raccoon charge? No, why can't you get a possum?

Aren't possums cool? What's the worst that could happen? Possums are not good-looking animals. You wouldn't want to look at a possum all day. Wellums cool? What's the worst that could happen? Possums are not good looking animals. You wouldn't want to look at a possum all day. They'll eat all the ticks off of Kyle though and he'll be grateful. I don't have ticks. No, because of the possum. You will from the possum though.

If you were going to get a dog or a cat, you would never opt for one of those bald cats or bald dogs. You'd want one with fur on it. You wouldn't opt for something less cute yeah when you had a naked rat at one point hope likes rats she can make it she has a couple right now yeah she gets these um no her rats now are not naked they're like fancy rats or something like that and apparently they're super sweet and they never bite you and they're they're sweet they just look like rats huh i do

they are called fancy rats now that guy marketing award for the how are you gonna sell these about them they call them the salesman get this fancy rats what's so fancy about them? They're $30 each. He's like Don Draper. He's like, what's so fancy about our rats? There's nothing special about your rats, but now everyone's going to think they're fancy. Fancy rats. Rats are cheap.

That fancy rat right there I bet is a $7 pet, but you need to buy him like a $1,500 house. I'll give you $10 just to kill it wherever it is. I am the rat killer in the house. That's my job. I feel like... I guess they're clean.

Why... I guess there's nothing wrong with a rat. Don't lotus urinate continuously without any way to stop? Is that rats that do that? I don't know. I know some of them don't. Is it a hamster or

a gerbil? We had a hedgehog. What's the one that starts with an S? Not hamster, but... Gerbil. There's the guinea pig, but that does not start with an S. Maybe I'm messing up the S part. Anyway, one of these. Hamster, gerbil, something. They pee

like crystals almost. They're meant to live in the desert. That's going to hurt. It's actually chinchilla. One of the rodents doesn't have stinky pee. It has hard crystallized pee. Well, then guess well, Kyle. Which rodent you'll have

crystallizing your home. I don't think I want any rodents. I think I'll just get a normal fucking dog and just do that. You couldn't just let rats run around your house, could you? You couldn't be sitting watching TV and

I can be like, oh, there's Teddy getting a drink of water. Come over here, Teddy. Hope couldn't sit there watching TV and little Cecil walks by yeah so they're a big totally with those balls though you can put them in the ball we had a we had a hedgehog yeah we put that little fucker in his ball and he'd all around the living room that's great that'll keep him safe yeah literally yeah it'll keep you from accidentally stepping on him i could totally see accidentally stepping on a little little house. Yeah, you got to keep your eye on them.

I don't think I want another. Don't get rats. Don't be a rat person or a bird person or a cat person. Just get a dog. Oh, look at that little guy. Come on. What would you rather have, Taylor? One German Shepherd or 150 of those?

150 of those. I love that. I love what I'm looking at right now. That's great. You could build like a whole tube city in your house and they could just be like we're going through it all the time. They'd build a little community. Well, I'm pretty sure

this one has a very cute long tail and also big hopping feet. And so you don't want to put him in a tube. You'd want to kind of let him hop around to his heart's content. Yeah, he needs to burrow. Okay. God, those eyes are the entire capacity of the skull.

They are. That's a cool animal. What is that again? Is that a desert kangaroo rat? Some kind of gerbil, jumping gerbil or something. I feel like I've seen a documentary that these were featured, where they, a spin effects. Maybe that's the S you were talking about, Woody. Who made that?

There's no telling. I like it. I don't know. I look at, I want to say I've come to realize if Kyle gets a dog, he will show the show. I'm looking forward to this part where Kyle says, this is my new dog and holds them up to the camera.

Yeah. Oh no, I won't. I won't show them. Is there a short list of names? You're afraid that maybe we'll have an opinion on your dog and then it'll hurt the dog's feelings for everyone to start talking about them on the subreddit and stuff i get it yeah i mean my y'all don't want to dox him

and ruin his career they were trolling my last dog they were trolling my last dog on instagram he's got that does have an instagram i think he's got like three or four thousand followers something like that. Kitty's other dog just dropped dead. I already told you guys. It was so sad. It just fell over dead. He had a good life. Yes, she did. She had lots of treats and

she fought the lizards and that was just the end for her I guess. She went out the way she went in. Running aimlessly through the house. Just living life in the moment the way dogs do.

Muppet wasn't afraid of the great demise, the great blackness after death. Muppet lived in the moment. Let's all take a lesson from Muppet. Let's take that home with us tonight, everyone. I haven't had dinner yet. I'll close in prayer.

Alright, let's wrap it. I thought we were going to hold hands. Let's do that after the show. PKN 411.