Painkiller Already - PKN 413

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

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PKN413. No Woody. Woody passed away day one of his trip, unfortunately. Rape to death. Oh, well, it was the AIDS that got him after the rape. Well, the rape caused the AIDS. Yeah. Well, the chimp patient one raped him.

So it wasn't that embarrassing. Chimps have tiny little penises. If you're going to pick a primate to be raped by, you certainly... Well, you actually want to pick gorilla. Did you know that? We've talked about that. They have the tiny little penises. If you're going to pick a primate to be raped by, you certainly, well, you'd actually want to pick gorilla. Did you know that? We've talked about that. They have the littlest penises. But I dare you to say that to their face.

You're not going to. Zero chance. What's sign language for you have a small cock? Probably like pinky sign. Yeah. I imagine. Yeah. He just tears your arm off.

I never see anybody doing sign language in public i am almost positive that the only place i've seen sign language in the past 10 years are like during like a presidential debate or like some some announcement and there will be someone fucking frantic like living their 15 minutes in the limelight. Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, closed captions are way better than watching that lady flail, I would imagine. Yeah, what I love is how many frauds there are that get that job, you know, the sign language, ASL interpreter.

No one's checked it. It happens time and time again. You'd think, like, oh, that one guy did it, you know, but never again. They'll always check from now on, but no, because it's such a hard thing. It's like, look, if we knew sign language, we wouldn't be hiring people for sign language.

We had a guy here who could check her out. We just have him go out and do it. We have no way of checking this. I want to know, you know how, I think it's called like economy of words. So languages have different economies of words. So like English, for example,

is more efficient than Japanese. Like it takes less characters, less speaking time to explain an idea with English than Japanese. I imagine, or that's what this fucking shit online said. And I imagine that like sign language has got to be so far down that, that road. Like,

and if they like, cause it would take forever to say stuff. Otherwise, they'd have to be like, just like getting the gist of it. You think so? So because most of the time what they're doing is they're combining the signing with lip reading. So it's actually faster in the long run

because they're doing both at the same time. And they're able to paint a picture really quickly because it's a lot easier when you're doing both at the same time i don't know why i keep doing this gibberish i guess it's the equivalent of your racist chinese accent for asl people you would have an asl accent with those fingers they'd be like i don't understand this guy's name or what yeah yeah you could probably make a lot of the korean it was like sort gang signs. Dude, I watched this thing the other night. Let me tell you about this guy. What'd you get?

Every time they told me more about this guy, I was like, wait a minute. Is this guy like a goddamn superhero? All right, so the guy climbs mountains. He's one of those guys who climbs mountains solo. And apparently what he did was way more impressive than what the Alex Hanol guy did. He climbed some much more difficult face uh of l cap and like a lot of other mountain climbing achievements i'm not going to go through him on his wikipedia but just know he is a badass among badasses when he was 16 he went to this um

rock climbing like world championship thing and they had an amateur division where anyone could enter and they didn't know it, but the winner of the amateur division got a spot at the World Cup. At 16, he knocks out of the park. He wins the amateur division. They're like, you get to climb the big wall for the World Cup. He's the

only one who finished the big wall at 16. He immediately becomes this world champion. That's pretty embarrassing for the other competitors. Then he just goes around the whole world just like shitting on every mountain that existed apparently like all the really difficult stuff even though he's so young is he like a spindly guy like yeah he's a smaller guy yeah yeah um you can pull up a picture of his name is tommy uh caldwell um so then I guess he was climbing mountains in either

Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan. I think both. He was in that region, if you know your geography. And him, his girlfriend, and their friend are all climbing together. His girlfriend is like a bad bitch. She's like a super climbing girl herself. Here he is.

They get taken hostage. I hate that. Okay? They get taken hostage by like Kyrgyzstani militants, terrorists. They're up on a mountain in their little hammocks, like chilling, and they start shooting the rocks and tell them to come down. And they like take them hostage. And now they're leading them through the mountains.

And they know that there's like good guys out there who are looking for them, like whatever the good side of this revolt is. But the day they're making them hide under rocks and in caverns and stuff like probably loves it they hate it they haven't eaten for days like they and they start realizing our captors don't know where they're fucking going we're just making circles out here evading capture like they have nowhere to take us there's no hierarchy so they're fucking going we're just making circles out here evading capture like they have nowhere to take us there's no hierarchy so they're captured by the rebels they're not even captured by idiots okay with fucking ak-47s and they're getting weak and hungry and they don't know what's going to happen and there comes a time where one of them leaves he like go he just leaves the group

now there's only two holding them and he he's thinking like, man in the dark, I could push one of these guys off the cliff, take his gun and kill the other. But they're too afraid to do it. So then the next day comes and another one of the guys leaves. He leaves as well. And now there's just one guard. And so finally he asks his girlfriend.

The dumbest one. The only one who hasn't cut and run from this failed mission. Yeah, it's three on one now. So he like asked his girlfriend, he wants some moral support here. Should I kill him? I think I need to kill him so that we can all live, baby.

What should I do? And they're interviewing her and she's like, and you know, I was afraid to make a decision at fucking all, so I just went, eh. He's like, and I just, I was afraid to make a decision at fucking all, so I just went, eh. He's like, and I just took her non-decision as, do what you gotta do, so I threw him off the mountain.

He threw this fucking terrorist off the mountain to his fucking doom, and then they walked out of there to safety, and it really gave him a ton of PTSD. He threw him off the mountain. Threw him off a fucking mountain so this guy his his comrades leave him solo guard and he's like easiest level on skyrim face away on the edge masturbating like and then he just gets kicked like our hero just crouched and walked

up to him because he he didn't have enough perception and just threw him off the fucking cliff. He actually explained in his interviews how he did it. He grabbed the strap of the gun and threw him so he couldn't catch himself. I don't know. This is a guy who's good at keeping his balance because he knew how to knock somebody off balance.

He threw him off the fucking cliff to his death. They got out of there alive. He goes on and he climbs more and more mountains, but he's still got this ptsd and then he cuts off his fucking index finger with a saw like doing some home improvement bullshit and they tell him and like on his patio not even yes oh that's not even like in danger zone like he's offering a table saw and he's like reaching for like a crumb of wood by the blade and it sucks him and cuts his finger off gone and i guess there was a doctor that that did climbing

stuff at the at the uh at the hospital and he was like well might as well retire you're done because see what you need to do apparently in climbing is you take your thumb and you put it on top of your index finger and you leverage that a lot and climbs uh with some of these tiny ledges they're using and without it like you just can't do it look what he's done taylor not only did he continue to climb he got better because he made his middle finger a meaty fucking hog of a finger through so now he's just grabbing onto the middle look at this middle finger dude yeah it's, look at his pinky. That's the muscliest pinky I've ever seen.

Oh my God, his pinky is the most... His other fingers are pitching in big time to make up for that missed finger. So no, I watched this guy's story and was blown away. I was like, this guy's like a fucking superhero. He's just the best at what he does. He's covered in blood. Your hands have got to be...

This guy's going to have arthritis. What's harder on your hands have got to be like this guy's gonna have arthritis like what's harder on your hands than like leveraging your entire body weight into like singular fingers that's maybe boxing i don't know that's bad though i like i feel like that's our defense as humans like we're kind of made especially men to rotate and throw our hands we're definitely not meant to be fucking spinning on K2 or whatever by your finger. That's fair. But this guy's awesome. I didn't know anything about this guy.

I mean, he's got to be a little bummed out that he's based on his Wikipedia page, arguably the best all-around rock climber on the planet. And his claim to fame of like the most risque insane thing he ever did has nothing to do with climbing nothing that's pretty close that's the the fact that it happened near a mountain it's ancillary to it it's like this is i hope that would be the story like like he took the route of being like oh this really the ptsd i don't know how to cope i'd have taken the other route being like, oh, this really, the PTSD, I don't know how to cope.

I'd have taken the other route, like, hey, somebody interrupts my climbing, bro. I don't put up with that. He had to go. So, yeah, I threw him off the mountain. We went back to climbing. That would have been a great story. He should have framed it like that. But now he's pretty weepy and sad about it.

I'm sure. It sounds horrible to be healthy. Do you think that they were being screamed at in Uzbekistan? Or like, I don't know what you want! You Russian-Asians? I don't know!

They are. That's where you get it. It's like a spectrum. They've got those mustaches that are just That come out in a patch and are long And there's nothing else Those Mongolian mustaches Mongolia, that would be a cool place to go You ever see Mulan, the cartoon?

Oh yeah Remember how incredibly racist the Mongolians Were animated to be? No Show me what the Mongolians from Mulan looked like. I remember it just kind of... They gave them fangs. He looked kind of Genghis Khan-ish, right?

Like, that's the way they drew him? I remember them being huge, animal-like men with fangs and, like, really scary eyes. Yeah! Well, they had to show that they're the bad guys.'s a mongolian dude look at that guy's arm yeah he's jacked that's why they're so scared of him look at that he got his fucking hand-me-down sword strapped to his back he's got two fingers around that thing yeah that it is dude's got a falcon i think it just makes him look intense. Because they needed a point of comparison.

They needed the evil, despicable Mongols with their scary eyes. Because then Mulan's friends have those happy, chubby eyes. And it's like, oh, that's a good guy. Yeah, the dragon. Is that Eddie Murphy playing the dragon, I think, maybe? Or was it Chris? No, it was. It was Eddie Murphy.

Okay. No, it's a pretty good movie. I think maybe a lot of trans people identify with that movie maybe why well you know it's because it's this i'll make a man out of you oh yeah you know you got a girl like being a guy the whole time and like like the romance between her in disguise and the like the chad like the chad chinese guy and she's like really fucking with that guy's head he thinks he's gay he doesn't know what the deal is dude smells like pussy in here that would have been so much better if like

he'd gone to kiss her and like like reached for a dick and was like super disappointed when there wasn't one. It's like, I had no problem with you fighting in the war, but this is duplicitous. Major, get her out of here! We of course allow gays in our military, but not women. Get the fuck out. Certainly not. Certainly not liars.

We don't allow liars in our military. I remember a while with that whole credit system. They've with that whole credit system. They've got the social credit system. Yeah. Some of it's good, though. I wouldn't want to live under it.

Don't get me wrong. Picking up litter is a good thing. Nobody likes litter. I guess litterers do. It's weird. I wouldn't want anyone imposing any social credit rules on me but I would love to have everyone else have them imposed on them like like don't spit your gum out like like don't return your return your cart return your

cart I do not return my cart all the time so if some look look not all the time so if you see me out there and and you're like aha Kyle talked about returning his cart and then you record me leaving my cart with the wheel popped up on one of those little curbs and driving away, I admit it. I do it sometimes. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and it's real far out and I park so far away. Huge hurry.

I got to get my snaps in. God damn it. I parked so far away. Get your snaps in. That would help. I'm not doing his job for him. It's like when Frank on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Did I just do your job for you? I didn't just do your job for you. That's kind of how

I feel when I'm putting that cart back in there. Isn't that his job to corral those carts? Yes. But I guarantee they appreciate the thought of people making their job easy. I would appreciate if somebody showed up here and told bullshit stories for an hour tonight

but all the same, here I am and I'm not surprised that no one jumped in for me. We're going to outsource Kyle. We're going to find an Indian guy who agrees to be named Kyle and he just sits in a room that looks just like that. I am Kyle. A funny observation.

Kyle, tell us about that time you were doing that video on your FPS Russia show. Oh, that was quite a tale. I was making a gun video and I went poorly when the door almost tore my legs off. Wow, Kyle, that's a great story. What were you thinking in that moment? I was thinking just how very scared I was. It's like, all right, PKA episode. Thanks for coming, Kyle.

That's good. We'll slowly shift everyone out. I've been trying to outsource some of my household projects on Angie's list. Do you ever use it? No, I've never used that service. I think it's for like, I say I think. I've got the app. I'm trying to use it.

But it's to like find solutions to all sorts of household little projects and get contractors. And I think there's another one that's, that's more like less companies and more individuals. I'm going to get that one later. I can't remember what it's called, but I found some home advisor. No, I won't. It sucks. I had this whole issue with my trash pickup. I've been here three weeks and the trash hasn't been picked up yet. That's huge.

It's fucking summer. Your garage is probably full of bugs. I only had three bags stored in the garage, thankfully, because I filled my dumpster up and then just was frugal. Otherwise, I guess, because I knew I didn't have anywhere to put it. And it turned out that there's some kind of a three-way feud. It's the garbage business. I suspect there might be a mafioso at the heart

of why my garbage... I'm serious. There might be some organized crime involved with why my trash didn't get picked up. When we finally got to the bottom of it after yelling on the phone, we keep getting, oh yeah, I'll be there tomorrow. I'll be there tomorrow. It's been three weeks. I got all those cardboard boxes from moving

right, all that shit folded up. there's some kind of a feud between the actual garbage men and the company that pays them and the third party company that i pay to pay them you know with the with the whole like utilities being bundled and everything so it's been non fucking sense i so there's a tony soprano somewhere who was holding out for another fucking 10 cents per pound of garbage or something that sucks hopefully they because every time i've been i paid a junk man today 150 to come and pick up my garbage yeah on angie's list it was great last year on vacation when my wife and i left town uh someone was watching our house for us,

and we told them, like, hey, Friday, trash out day. And they forgot to do it. And so when I got home, like, the garage, like, it wasn't, like, overfilled or anything. It was just closed normally. And it was, like, you know, nine days of trash, ten days of trash, whatever. And I went to open it, and there were thousands of maggots

that had just been living their entire life cycles over and over and over in there, like dying as flies and then eating more food. And they were all over the roof of it. Oh, flies had hatched? Flies had hatched. When I opened it, a couple of flies came out and then it was more maggots than I've ever seen in person,

a huge amount. And so I like looked up online and was like, how do you just kind of clean out maggots quick and easy? And they're like, just wheel your garbage can outside and liberally pour bleach into it and then close it. And I was like, okay, well I could have, I could have guessed this. Like, yeah, I was looking for more of like a like a non-smelly like a like a white vinegar trick that kind of thing they wouldn't like that either i guarantee it they probably would i hate that but they absolutely vinegar make it i eat malt vinegar i like that wasted growing up on a farm i saw so many giant things of maggots like for any number of ungodly reasons like if a cow had been dead and we hadn't

found it yet sometimes they die in like the back pasture and you'd find it three days later when the buzzards were circling and it would just be this entire like cavity opened up from coyotes or even worse bloated and like ready to pop like that whale on that beach that time but just like squirming maggots you can almost hear them it's so fucking nasty the worst though is like any kind of like animal food like dog food chicken feed any of that stuff if it gets wet and it stays on the ground for more than two days it becomes this flies like lay their eggs and it becomes this just squirming mess of rotten cornmeal and maggots.

There's a, there's a, this was probably a couple months ago. Now there was this YouTube channel. I watched some videos from, I don't remember what it's called, but it's literally nothing. But this guy takes like a plain white plate with like a beautiful white

background. And then he puts random stuff on it and he'll be like, this is what happens if you leave a side of ribs on a plate for 200 days and it's just a time-lapse recording with like the number of days and so like you see it all like dry up and shrivel then you see like flies land and you see where the maggots are born and then like you see like the meat will start to like boil because like because it's time-lapsed and like like you can like see all the maggots and everything going under it yeah it's it's really just crazy and then like

they did one like he did that old mcdonald's thing where he's like hey here's a burger that i made at home with ingredients and then here's a mcdonald's burger next to it and like by day two the flies are just fucking loving you know the real burger and the mcdonald's burger is like like like frozen in time like they just they're just not interested in it nearly as much yeah i don't know what it's those preservatives yeah i'm sure even the even the bugs know but that's a cool youtube channel he does it with like fruit just imagine a thing and he lets bugs eat it over time lapse or sometimes he just lets it age for a long time, which is, you know, I think it's neat. I like stupid YouTube stuff like that.

Sometimes when you like donate your body to science, it ends up in a project like that where the whole test is like, hey, let's see what happens if you leave a body in the trunk of a car in Louisiana for six months. for six months. They just take some poor son of a bitch that thought they were going to cure cancer with his bone marrow and they throw him in the trunk of a Hyundai in Louisiana for six months and they watch him rot. Every day they'll come out there, not every day, but every week, like, oh, look at this. The maggots

have taken hold in Mr. Johnson's eye sockets. Look at that. His butthole fell out. Look, everyone. See how Mr. Johnson's butthole fell out? That's because of gastric. Ew, gross. Mr. Johnson johnson's butthole fell out that's because of gross mr johnson has a dirty butthole take a picture of him this is how we'll remember send this to his family it'll be the last time he has a face this is how we'll see it

yeah they do that though and i remember there was a big scandal where a lot of people who were donating their uh this is recent right where they were donating their bodies to science or medical stuff and they ended up like some of them went to military testing apparently the military's paying like four five six hundred dollars a person to like i don't remember what they were doing but they were shooting with cannons or oh yeah this guy donated his his mother's wife or his mother his mother to science and he thought she was going to be used for like alzheimer's or something yeah and like neural research and it turns out she was used to gauge bodily harm from a new ied that's awesome they just propped up this old bitch probably like a scarecrow it's like all right mrs thompson was utterly eviscerated this is a success dude

um there's somebody uh in the in the uh in the 50 discord he works at one of those places that makes missiles and bombs for the military when i get back in there i'm gonna ask him if they ever used any fucking old ladies to test them out and get us some free ones. Some free bombs? Yeah. Like some grenades. Like a little cluster bomb for my key chain. Yeah, a self-defense cluster bomb. I'd like that. That's a... Oh, I didn't want to get past it.

You mentioned The Sopranos earlier. So I've only seen the show through once, but my wife has never seen it. And so last week week we started watching it together because she wanted to get through it and i'm paying more attention now than i did through the first time because you know how it is watching a show with someone as an activity versus you know just doing it by yourself and like i really misremembered how slow the first season is compared to a lot of the shit that comes later and

I definitely forgot about some of the like that episode where Chrissy and Adriana want to she wants to get in the music business and it's the whole fucking episode we watched that one last night I think I'll probably remember some other ones as I go along

but I think that's inarguably the worst episode of The Sopranos. The entire thing is boring. There's a slight tinge of potential excitement when they go to that guy's house, the black guy with the purple hat who wants the money from Hash. And that part, you're like, something going to happen? And it's like, oh,

no, this guy just kind of wants some money and he's even more interested in Adriana than even his little grievances seemingly because he's revolving around her. And it's like, I don't care. I don't care about this. Get back to Tony. Or at least put Chrissy in a context where he's a gangster

because anytime Adriana is on screen, I'm bored. Obviously, later in the series, there's some pretty good times where she's more involved in the interesting parts of the storyline. But good God, re-watching that episode last night, I was no that was that's that's bad that's one of the worst for sure i think i think it might be the i can't remember which season but there's one season that's pretty slow as far as action goes but um no that that might be the worst episode i'm trying to think of one worse yeah Yeah. Because I liked...

They have that really good episode four in season one where they go to the colleges and everything, and that's fun. Oh, that's one of the best episodes. Yeah. A lot of people think it is the best episode. It's called College. I like it. I wouldn't put it up there with that one with...

The Pine Barrens. He said he's a Czechoslovakian interior decorator. Killed 17 people. They're freezing to death out there it's like Jesus give me some of your relish in their car see that's my favorite episode

yeah that's called Pine Barrens I can't remember if it was written or directed by Steve Buscemi I can't remember or maybe David Chase had something to do with it but yeah that's the best episode what's the best season you think looking because i don't know it encyclopedically like you do well i don't know that i okay i guess i do know it well enough to do that um the steve buscemi season is really fucking good i like that season a lot is that four or five with pine baron i think it's four but i'm not positive but and i

really like but but the the the season with uh ralphie he's good i like him ralphie's so good that's kind of how i remember the seasons like who who's who tony's main like annoying fucking cocksucker who he's got to put up with that season is who is it this season uh yeah it's one of those i'm re-watching the wire soon i think i'm looking for something to Annoying fucking cocksucker who he's got to put up with that season is. Who is it this season? Yeah, it's one of those. I'm re-watching The Wire soon, I think. I'm looking for something to watch, and I'm thinking about going back to The Wire. Oh, you need to watch this show.

Remember that show Nathan For You? Vaguely? It's that guy who goes to businesses, and he's like, you're trying to start a coffee shop how about you know his most famous one is dumb starbucks under parody law we can mimic everything and just copy their menu and call it dumb so i wish he kept nathan for you going but there's a new show he's doing called um what the fuck is his new show called the rehearsal Rehearsal. It's an HBO show. And he basically takes someone who has a problem in their life. And so the first episode is a guy who is in a trivia group and they go to bars and restaurants and they compete in trivia competitions. And it's this kind guy, a bit goofy, a little silly, the way you'd expect a trivia-obsessed person to be.

And Nathan was asking him in his apartment, in the guy's apartment, like, so what is it I can help you with? And the guy's like, well, I lied to my friends in my trivia group. They all have advanced degrees and things, and I was really embarrassed. And so while I was getting my bachelor's degree, I lied to them and told them it was my master's. And then I, when I grabbed, so they all think I have a master's and I really don't. And I'm really embarrassed and I'm worried they're not going to like me.

And he went up and it was like, when he was saying stuff like that, I'm like, this is sad. Like they're your friends. They're not going to like, if they're your friends, they're not going to mind. They're just going to be like,

Oh, you don't have to be like that. We're your friend. And so Nathan goes in and has this conversation with them and asks him like what he thinks he should do. And by the end of it, nathan's like do you know why this has gone so well he's like why he's like because everything i've said to you today i've rehearsed hundreds of times in a perfect replica of your apartment that i had made with an actor that looks similar to you we planned for every contingency and then it shows like a flash cut of him walking into an exact replica of

this guy's apartment with all of the same chairs and everything with a, with a, a fake actor. And Nathan will walk over there and be like, so tell me about this problem. And then the actor will explain it. And then Nate will try and direct it a certain way. And I'll be like,

what we learned there is that by using this word, we upset him greatly time. And so he gets this guy, he goes so he goes all right so who do you want to tell on your team the most he's like that anna whatever the woman's name is he's like okay so i've hired an actress who looks exactly like anna and also we've built an exact replica of the bar you're going to do the conversation and i'm i'm not lying it is an exact replica of a bar that went like it is it looks exactly the same nathan walks in he's like uh when you walk into the original bar there's an old balloon full of helium at the ceiling check it out and like so he put an old balloon out there with helium the same kind and they basically he's

like we're gonna walk you through and show you all that we can rehearse it. And it's not going to be that bad. And in one of the final rehearsals, he fills the fake bar with patrons in order to rehearse. You know, the guy doesn't know it, but the worst possible outcome. And so he sits down with the actress and he's like, you know, they're doing the fake trivia and everything. And there's a bunch of other people in the bar. And he does his little spiel like Like I've been lying to you. I, I don't have my master's degree.

I got a bachelor and I don't want it to ruin our friendship. And the actress is like, who the hell do you think you are lying to me for 12 years? You don't have a master's and you're on this team and you've been lying to me for 12 years. I'm not even upset about the degree. It's the dishonesty. It's the, it's the dishonesty it's the it's the lying and then like she gets up and storms out and all of the other fake patrons in the bar like everyone this guy ain't got a master's degree like everybody's

laughing at him like and he like oh my god it's it is so fucking funny like i i gave away a lot there but i wanted people to actually check this show out it is he has such a great deadpan sense of humor i think nathan fielder's hilarious i'll watch anything that guy does but yeah the rehearsal on hbo there's only one episode out now and it's's so funny. You'll really enjoy it. All right. I'm actually going to check that out. And if you haven't seen all the Nathans for you, then you need to check those out too. He fucks with people.

If you're jumping into one, pick the one where he tries to improve a bounty hunter's business where he's like, I need to prove that this bounty hunter is, you know, really good if I'm going to, you know, improve his business for him. And so he hired a body double with the same hairstyle and everything, the same clothes and everything. And he tricked the bounty hunter into basically following an Asian man for the entire day. And then at like the end of it, he's like, I saw you, Nathan. I saw you outside

my apartment. I saw you. And he's like, are you sure? Are you sure you didn't see my friend Jong? And then he shows him the video and it's like he totally bamboozled him into chasing the young guy. He fucks with people. The toy company guy, he's like, this guy

starts a horrible toy that no kids want to buy and so he starts groups with kids and he's like this guy starts a horrible toy that no kids want to buy and so he starts groups with kids and he's like does anyone want this toy just like focus groups and the kids are like no and he's like well that's weird because data shows that only little babies don't like this toy oh i saw you a little baby yeah and then suddenly there's a ton of great nathan for you it's great show check that out if you're looking for content you mentioned bounty hunter that made me what was your like silly job that you wanted to do when you were a kid you know they ask you when you're like third grade and stuff like one kid said dinosaur and we straight up laughed at him like like

forevermore he was they were like all right that kid's a fucking loser he doesn't get the he doesn't get the question that's not an option dumbass if you said astronaut we'd all been like hey shoot for the sky literally but you know we're we're all seven but when you say dinosaur even seven year olds are like what a fucking asshole what a dumbass yeah dinosaur probably athlete or something like that probably hockey player when i was a real little kid i would guess yeah how about you bounty hunter is that what you thought was cool i don't know i think i just told people what i thought maybe they wanted to hear and said like doctor or something like that when i had no interest in the field of medicine at all oh yeah sort of like, ah, doctor! Because when you tell someone, adult that, they're like,

ooh! If you tell them, you're like, ah, I think I want to lay bricks. They'd be like, shit, you know, maybe you could run a crew of guys who lay bricks or something like that. Nah, I want to be the guy lifting the buckets.

Oh no, I don't want to lay the bricks lifting the buckets oh no i don't want to lay the bricks that'd be a that'd be hard i just want to pull that that rope and winch him up to the real craftsman yeah i want to be the guy that gets bullied by the rest of the workers in order for them to form a cohesive team at my expense yeah i i remember in kindergarten there was like this little you know you know those little kindergarten plays or whatever you had to do it wasn't even a play oh i did tons of those yeah you go up on on stage and it was like one little, you know, you know, those little kindergarten plays or whatever you had to do. It wasn't even a play. Oh, I did tons of those. You go up on a, on stage. And it was like one of those things where it's like dress up,

like what you want to be as a grownup and then say why. And I forgot, it was just in front of like the teacher and like some parents that came with like hundreds of people. It was, this was, this was a little thing. And like just parents, grandparents. And I. It was, this was, this was a little thing and like just parents, grandparents. And I didn't like, first of all, teacher's fault. I'm in kindergarten.

You can't expect me to like hand every note that gets taped to my jacket to my parents. Sorry. But it turns out that like I didn't relay that information and my teachers didn't. And so I just went that like early evening as a police officer because that was the only outfit i had from like a i was never i don't know where we got it because i was never a cop for halloween must have been a friends or brothers but yeah and you had to like have a thing and i didn't i didn't care i didn't want to be a cop and i was just like they're like what do you want to be taylor and i'm like i want to be a cop. Teach people about Jesus.

Because I had. Yes, I did. I said, I want to teach people about Jesus because I had already learned through going to religious school that any you don't know what to say. Fucking throw Christ out there, bitch. It's going to land. And so I want to be I want to be a cop. I never pulled that one out. Teach people about Jesus.

And that flew. So, you know, I'm to be a cop. I never pulled that one out. To teach people about Jesus. And that flew. So I'm not still in kindergarten. I never invoked the name of the Lord to squeeze one through. No? I'll have to put that into my repertoire, I think. It's handy. Well, you didn't go to a Jesus-y school, so I don't think that would have worked. That's nice to your homework.

I went to church for, I don't know how many years call it three maybe like really i would i wouldn't say religiously but uh pretty regularly um uh my mom did like the handbell choir she she was like the teacher for that i don't know if you're aware of what that is but basically you get a bunch of kids together and they hold everybody's got a handbell you literally ring it and and there's like a there's like music um written there but instead of notes it's colors and the handbells are colored so you got the greens and the purples and so like when everybody rings when they're supposed to as the teacher my mom points the the stick at the letter you form a like a choir of handbell kids and we can do some pretty cool songs you know religious fucking songs so i remember doing that did you get your choice

of colors being you know the favorite child of the teacher oh of course i could have had any color i wanted i'm sure yeah i think i had blue i think i had blue i don't remember what significance it had it's not there were a lot it's not like there were a lot of us anyway that it thinking back i'm not sure how we made a choir of of a handful of kids but we did somehow i remember my shit oh probably so and we did our best and then like in sunday school for kids um we had this lady in a wheelchair. And I remember thinking, because she's a teacher, she must have an in with God. She must be like, I don't know,

like a nun or something. We're the Church of God, by the way. We are not Catholic. But then I thought, she must have fucked up for God to take her legs. And I remember telling my mom like what did miss pam do for you know why why why can't she walk she if she's you know this church lady and mom was like she was in a car wreck when she was a teenager and and the boy that she was with left

her and she never got married and now she teaches you kids and i was like i was like that's a lot of information for me to process mom wow that's pretty heartbreaking i don't know how to process wow that makes me feel a tremendous and intense feeling of forlorn that's kind of gossipy mom i'm seven wow mom bitch that is not no but like i think that uh like when i was a kid i i was more apt to have a conversation with the adults in the room than i was that the other kids um because i always had a hard time socializing with kids my own age and i don't think i think it was because i was kind of a genius or something i just think it was because i spent most of my time around other adults or just adults

and uh and i wanted to talk to them rather than the kids because the kids were talking about fucking i don't know fucking cheese doodles and shit and the adults were watching x-files like me i remember like even as a kid like i was the opposite of that like like my parents have like a dinner party and obviously the kids of those parents come over and then we like go in the basement and play hockey or football, whatever we're doing. And I remember like I would go upstairs at like seven years old to like get another soda or get a snack. And I like see the parents like sitting around drinking wine, chatting. I just remember thinking like, oh, never me. I'm going to play with toys forever.

Like I remember thinking like this is so boring and sad like there was something about it even as a child I didn't like but you know obviously you don't realize your tastes are going to change and you're you know playing Legos with children isn't always gonna be your go to I don't know I play baseball with other

kids obviously cause you know you have to but as far as like like if I was gonna have fun after school I was gonna be with my dad ball with other kids obviously because you kind of you know you have to but as far as like like like if i was gonna have fun after school i was gonna be with my dad or my cousin or i was gonna be on an atv somewhere like riding in the pastures just riding and getting into wrecks and uh it sounds dumb but like i like to chop trees down i had some kind of a paul bunion fetish for a while i think we i think we learned about paul bunion in school about and maybe we watched a cartoon and i was like i want to chop a fucking tree down.

Let's go. And my dad does not have a lot of trees on his property, but I cut down what he had. I would be out there with a hatchet. What are you doing? Chop the trees down. Go over the property line. Chop some of their trees down. They don't mind.

So I'd be out in the woods chopping trees down like a fucking lunatic that must be like a little boy thing because that sounds like we would dig holes for no reason like we would also chop at trees like not never a full i remember why i did it i saw um i think george foreman was gonna make like his second comeback you know because he came back at like 40 and won the heavyweight championship or something like that. And he was going to come back again at like 50. I can't remember how old. Part of his training when he came back the first time was chopping trees

down. That was his cardio. He was chopping trees down in the woods. And I think, I don't know how old I was, maybe 12 or 13, but I was like like i want to chop some trees down like george foreman let's do that yeah yeah that is a cool way to work out just chopping trees no you just get blisters and no it's a cool way to hear about someone working out be like whoa that guy's intense he just works the same things over and over from the same side over and over. Unless he's an ambidextrous swinger. I haven't chopped down a tree in a long time.

I had a story. I can't remember what it was. Fuck. It was kind of related to what we were just talking about. Chopping down trees. Boxing. Before that. The fuck do we talk about?

The Sopranos. Shit. No, that's too far. it's already gone i was watching youtube videos of uh or i saw there was some news about like an explosion at the i got it oh yeah go for it i watched a bear attack movie this young lady said hey you want to watch a movie and i said sure she said i've got a good one i heard about it's a bear attack movie i was like oh that sounds scary there's a good she's like yeah everybody says it's great it's an indie film which i'm fine with but everybody says it's great so we start watching this movie based on a true story so i'm like oh shit i'm gonna look this up when

i'm done i want to know the nitty- gritty on this basically this this couple in canada go on like an extreme hike they're going to the white the lady doesn't know it i'm gonna spoil some things this movie's called back country um he's taking her out to this childhood lake out in the provincial net forests of canada that that uh that he grew up in uh near and he wants to propose to her. It's her first time in the woods though. She's fucking scared. She's got bear spray on a holster and it is kind of weird. They have a few

scary things along the way and then when they finally get out there they've gone the wrong fucking way. He misremembered. She's like, when was the last time you knew where you were actually going?ed she's like when was the last time you knew where you were actually going and he's like i mean i thought no no not thought well exit 43 when we got here like yeah and it's like that long story short a bear attacks them while they are in their tent and instead of getting out and fighting it they try they try to hide in the tent it comes in

and it eats him alive what she sprays it once but then she like freezes up when it comes back and it eats him alive and it is so i thought it was pretty gory like some of y'all might watch this and be like kyle's a pussy. But dude, you can see meat in his leg and it looks like a fucking ham. It looks like a real person is being eaten. His face is hanging off and he's going, run!

Run! And the bear's like, ahhh! Fucking destroying this guy. And I'm like, fuck, spray it! Spray it! And she's doing that thing where everything goes, eee! And it'm like fuck spray it spray it and she's doing that thing where like everything goes and it's like spray it and it's like the thing woody always says when like the damage has gotten to a point where all right he can take a scratch yeah okay that's a big scratch but we'll bandage it up oh the face not the face and it's like don't spray him now you'll just kill him

i i i was like look if a bear's ever attacking me And you're worried about spraying me When you're trying to get the bear Soak me with the pepper spray It'll make me less tasty Get it all in my wounds Wherever it's biting me You happen to have a container of powdered cyanide

Nearby Start throwing that by the fistful onto me Dust me, coat me like a like a chicken cutlet i want it all there's a bear but and the worst part is the black bear and it eats him fucking alive that's embarrassing not even a grizzly it's big it's fucking big and it eats him the fuck alive and it looks fairly real i think the coolest part that was whoever did the special effects for this i've been meaning to go back and look but there's there's like two or three gory ish things that happened like his toenail comes off at one point because he drops a boat on it it looked real when

he pulled his toenail off i was there was a little puss i was like fuck that looked real so um then she gets away but the bear stalks her and she's lost very lost like 20 30 miles in the wilderness lost like two days of hiking if she knew where she was going lost but she has no idea she could be going the wrong way deeper into the mountains you don't know and she falls down because the bear's chasing her down this like ravine compound fracture it doesn't come through the bone but it's poking at the skin through the skin but it's poking at the skin like her her leg is broken down by the by the ankle she throws a fucking splint on this thing that she makes out of sticks and stuff tying it tight now she's on the ball she's hardcore gets all the way out she finds their canoe she actually walks back the perfect

way loads the canoe in the water paddles to safety crawls up to the beach it goes help and they find her she's saved and i was like damn what a badass bitch i gotta find out more about her let me let me learn about the real deal what actually happened was a bear attacked a couple and while the bear was mauling the woman the man drew a knife and fought the bear and he joined the bear and together they threw her down and slew her well my approach was to try to endear the bear with joining his cause yeah if i started helping, so I held her down. Yeah. And so I started using we a lot. They can't handle us, bear. We are unstoppable.

What actually happened was some badass dude stabbed the bear and fought it off. Stabbed it all up with a knife. Fought it off to his girlfriend. Carried her ass all the way, many miles to safety, paddled her ass out, and she bled to death. That was the true story. And I was like, God damn. That wouldn't be as good of a story

because if he kills the bear right away, then it's just a survival story instead of like, was the bear still out there? Well, you could have done, but why did they make it so that, like the husband went out like a bitch in the version I saw, and he got eaten alive,

and it was real gruesome. And it still bothered me a little bit how much his thighs looked like a ham. I think it might have been a ham. Was it a real bear? In some of the scenes, I'm sure. I think it was a real bear the whole time, but I had eaten a couple of gummies

you can train black bears to do stuff they used to make them play hockey in the Soviet Union can you train them to eat people? if they can learn hockey they can absolutely learn to eat people they don't have to be taught that they just have to see an opening

and think they're going to get away with it that sounds like a decent movie I like those survival flicks although i don't i don't want the gore in it like the edge the edge drew like a nice line there there's some gore in the edge but i don't need to see meat hanging everywhere there's a very much like easier with gore that's like so far out there like horror movie style gore, where I'm like, this is silly. Yeah, someone explodes. Yeah.

Whereas when it's someone ripping their fingernail out, like you said, it's like, oh, it's so visceral and real. It's much more upsetting. Have you ever lost a nail to an ax? I've had it turn black, but it's never fallen off. I haven't had it turn all the way black, but I've had black spots on it before where I hit it with a hammer or something.

We did this project once where we retrofitted my dad's entire poultry farm. Basically they used to have curtains, um, that are, that are made like vinyl that went up and down with winches, powered winches. And then the, that standard got phased out and it needed to be a solid wall.

So we had to put up, you know, walling, um, um, particle board and then then and then cover that with sheet metal so i don't know if you've ever driven nails into sheet metal but getting them started is that you can't really tap tap tap like you can in wood you have to go ahead and get after

it because you got a pierce metal uh and i had this thumb was like numb. I'd hit, I just wrapped it with duct tape and, and like got it ready to be like, take abuse every day. It was like nail gloves. Oh, I'm sure that I bet they, they make like hammers that you can hook the nail into. And like,

they make all sorts of things to fix the problem that I had. They make tools for that. They fixed this problem. My dad and I think about some of the projects we did, and we're like, what the fuck were we thinking? Why didn't we pay somebody to do that? And dad's like, I don't know. We refinished his hardwood floors one time.

First of all, we put those hardwood floors down, and it's real hardwood. It's not that stuff that snaps together. Each piece has to be nailed down with a special nail gun that you hit with a hammer and it wedges them into place and nails them down at an angle so it conceals the nail. Well, they got scratched the fuck

from dogs and furniture and 5-10 years of wear and tear. So we refurnished we refinished those things on our knees with Sanders. He has the biggest living room you've ever seen. The house is a terrible design. He has the biggest living room you've ever seen. The house is a terrible design. It's nothing but living room.

My bedroom growing up was so little. My mom's bathroom was tiny, but our living room. Oh my God, it's big. I remember my knees turned black and blue just from being on my knees, polishing the floor with that fucking belt sander, sanding it off like we we did some awful projects can you get like a standing sander oh i'm sure there's all sorts of machines that just knock that shit out and i guaranteed as a guy who would have done it for twenty dollars an hour and knocked it out in two days but he

would have had knee pads and the whole he would have had a whole get up yeah i had i think we had knee pads i don't remember i'll never do that shit again i hate projects that's that's why i'm like digging angie's list because i already found someone to put my air conditioner in because i'm afraid i'm gonna fuck the wall up when i drill the hole through the house everybody's like yeah it's no big deal you just drill a hole through the house i'm like there might be something in there what if i drill into something get somebody else to drill the hole yeah like there's stuff like that that i just i'm not going to do myself because i'm like i'm gonna mess something up and i'm gonna get frustrated and now i'm in a hole of despair

and like hating myself just so i've got those two windows in my living room they're uh they're like 31 inches by 72 inches these double double windows, really high up. My ladder will go up there, but it is shaky once I get up there. And once I'm up there, I'm going to have to do some stuff, and I'm afraid I'm going to fall off balance, especially carrying the roller shades that I want to hang. And I looked up the roller shades on Amazon. You can control them with your phone, and you can be like, ah, open it up, sunshine mode, and all the things in your house open up it's like 150 bucks a window or something depending on like the size

of your windows that ain't bad i only need these two windows but maybe i'll do a few more it's really not the lines are expensive and so uh i like contacted a place here locally and i they're like could you send us a picture of what you want done and i send them the picture of it i even throw my ladder up for scale so they can see exactly how high they got to go up. I'm like, I was like, you could use my ladder or bring yours.

Mine's a little shaky. And they go, it's $175 a window just for blinds. But it's very important to me that there'll be motorized because I want them open sometimes and close. Sometimes it ruins the room in the day. It's so bright. You can't watch TV.

They said $1,200 plus to get roller roller blind to get roller blinds up there and so you're not doing that that's insane yeah that's ridiculous it was two windows so six hundred dollars a window yeah yeah and like i'm just picturing like crooks i didn't even reply to them because i know the ones on amazon the most expensive the most expensive ones on the amazon are like 200 250 a window so it's got to be some sort of some sort of nonsense so the search for that continues i need some like cover for the skylights in my living room because they like you're right there is a time like i i work on my laptop all the time just right on my couch and every morning if i'm there at 11 a.m., the sun shines exactly at me for like 35 minutes until it passes. And so I just move.

And I don't think that moving is such a trouble that I'm going to deal with. What was it? Gandalf said first light on the fifth day or something. That's what it's like every morning. I'm in there like like ah let's watch seinfeld when i drink my coffee and it's just beaming onto the tv so i like that like i i intentionally like the wind because my like the the sun shines in when it rises in my my bedroom and like i have blackout curtains on most of my windows in there, but the one that like principally shines on me,

I have thinner like curtains on so that it like kind of forces me to, to not want to sleep in as much. I've done that too. I backed, I used to have complete darkness cave in my bedroom, but now it's kind of light. It's definitely not full bright, but I,

I'm not as apt to sleep all day. Yeah. Like, I'm just thinking of like summers like during college like one of the rooms i had at my parents house when i was staying there over summer obviously was like that it was a cave no no windows and like if i was like out with friends party and having fun and then like went home and passed out and then woke up like it's like a feeling of weirdness of like i don't know what time it is i don't know like what's going on outside then you like leave your room and it's

like oh it's it's sunny oh it's three what the fuck like oh and then you get that like depressed feeling of like it's the whole day like yeah um that i just remembered that uh that mountain climber guy who threw the terrorist off the mountain yeah he also like when he met his girlfriend who was pretty cute and an amazing rock climber apparently as well i think women are really good at rock climbing because you know strong lower body lower body is the majority of it and they're lighter uh he when he met her he was living in like a broom closet or something. He's been homeless his whole life, essentially.

He's like, all I need is the mountain, bruh. I think there was a part where they were buying furniture, maybe, for the first time, just like Alex Hanold. It's interesting that the guys who were on the cutting edge of this rock climbing thing are these young, weird hippie guys who are clearly on the spectrum, who live in vans and just drive around and climb mountains. So I watched that in that movie, right? You see Alex and old buying his first refrigerator and he's like, oh, this is way too big.

No, we just need this little bitch. He gets the tiniest one. He's always need something to keep the food cold. And I mean, we're going to eat the food as we buy it. Like I always do. He lived on 60 cents a day, I think think for a long time living in walmart parking lots jesus christ yeah not much money in climbing yeah just climbing mountains that's all he wants to do i guess but now i think he makes a ton of money well good for him he deserves it i bet he goes

around and gives speeches yeah about to schools and things yeah and i think he's sponsored by everything that has to do sponsored by whoever the opponent and that civil war was now sponsored by the kyrgyzstani rebels yeah that's what he would be i'm so psyched for the return of donald trump You think it's going to happen? I was way more, I thought you were way more, like had more potential to be wrong, but like I saw some poll things come out and he's way more popular in like every state now

than DeSantis. I think that there's something to be said for him coming through with this Supreme Court thing. I think that like, like, I think that the money people maybe are like holy shit trump really did put us in the catbird seat uh like i did before trump's term his first one i remember thinking will there even be a republican party in two or three more terms like like it just seemed like they were so down and out, so behind the times, so boring.

And I couldn't imagine that there would ever be enough young people who would be inspired by the Republican Party to even vote for them. I just couldn't see it. And the left, the Democrats are so good at firing up their base sometimes, especially they do their best anyway to fire up the young part of their base, and especially the minority side. It just seemed like there wouldn't be Republicans anywhere in a couple more years. And then Trump came, and it's seeming like, man, the Democrats are getting the shit out of the stick at every turn. It's rough.

You think he's going to take down whoever he goes up against in 2024? It depends which Trump we get. If he's got energy, if he's taking those diet pills, if he's drinking his diet Coke and he's taking his cold pills and eating his fried chicken and he shuts up about them stealing the election

because I don't want to hear about that. I don't want to hear about them stealing the election from him anymore and how it was rigged or fake or how voting machines were this or that. I want more want to hear about them stealing the election from him anymore and how it was rigged or fake or how voting machines were this or that. I want more unique good nicknames. I want you to make fun of people.

I want him to expose people's embarrassing things. I want him to be like, what about that company that your brother, the one with the DUI, that company that he owned and how they defrauded all of those people in that town. Do you remember that? Oh, you don't? Well, here. Here's Jonah Jameson, the chairman of commerce from that town.

Tell him, Jonah, you took everything. I want some shit like that to happen. It's a drama. I want some drama. I want a bombshell moment. Yeah, I want more entertainment. And most of these people are just not entertaining, man. Remember when he had the Bill Clinton accusers or whatever there?

Yeah. Remember that? That was just like, I brought Juanita Broderick to the debate. She's actually signing autographs right out there. Want to see her? You want to meet her, Bill? You want to introduce? You don't need to be introduced, do you?

You've done more than that. We'll leave it at that. We'll leave it at that, Bill. That's definitely good so much. We'll leave it at that. I'm not saying it. We'll leave it at that. We'll leave it at that.

Sex. Anal sex. That's right, folks. Anal sex. That's what we're talking about. Pretty gross. It's a sin. It's a sin.

What you want is. That's the best when he flounders about religion, like trying to pretend that this New York billionaire knows anything about what people in Kentucky think about Jesus. It doesn't matter, though. What was that clip we watched of him where they say favorite Bible first, and he's like, all of them, they're great. It's like, pick one.

What's your favorite of the many? Oh, don't you not get me name one like that you were like oh psalms whatever you said john 316 that's the easy one i don't it's not for me if i started it you could finish it for god so love the world that he gave his own is it begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life yeah that's an easy one that's it like every baseball game the closest i ever got to memorizing any of that stuff is when i was homeschooled the first year of my homeschool and we like ordered this like homeschooling

guy like it comes with all the tests and the lesson plan and everything because like who's to say how to teach a kid what he needs to know for the next grade. They do. I don't know. They found the Christian cunt college or something and we got all those books. I was memorizing Bible verses and I remembered, wait a minute. Such a waste of time. I'm so done memorizing Bible verses up in here. If you've got

any math or history to teach me or science mom, let me know. I'm going hunting and uh and then so i just spent two years doing that because there were there were bible verses and stuff in that in that nonsense and i even at that age at like sixth or seventh grade it's like fuck this dude they would give us a bible verse quizzes in school where they'd be like on monday they'd be like this is your bible verse you have to memorize by Friday, and then Friday comes around and you just cheated mostly. Or if there were questions that were like, what's your

favorite Bible verse? Or talk to me about a verse that's important to you. Shit like that. John 3.16 is the gift that keeps on giving. Because you just, just that one. What's your favorite verse? What about this? What about that one? Fucking John 3.16 bitch. Covered. It's covered. Done. Touch one what's your favorite verse what about this and what about that one john 3 16 bitch

covered it's covered done touch touches on jesus touches on heaven and salvation good good to go i can use just reuse that one over and over and over or the or matthew 5 the beatitudes when you go to religious school you figure out quickly which passages you can just do over and over and over for those religious assignments and the beatitudes are one of them that was like jesus's speech where he's like love is patient love is kind it does not boast it is that bubble like that's about all i remember that though man it's a damn shame like i didn't learn about like fucking evolution until i was an adult and taught myself for the most part but but I know Bible shit like, like literally. And like there was, there were science classes I took where they would be like,

well, like, you know, there, there were clearly the teachers who were like, just like giving lip service to the God stuff where they'd be like, yeah, like,

no, this is real. Like evolution's a thing. It's just, God set it in motion. And it was like, okay. But then other ones would be like,

no, it's, that's not true. These are just interesting variations within a thing. And it's like, but then other ones would be like no it's that's not true these are just interesting variations within a thing it's like well what what are you what are we talking about here folks like i left high school knowing significantly less about evolution than if i had not been taught anything at all i was really nerdy about the discovery channel the learning channel the history channel um especially those years when i was homeschooled and that

was literally my education during that time uh and that was actually those were the golden uh uh years of those channels because the learning channel had so much sciencey stuff i was watching operations uh a lot like they would just operate on people and you'd you'd learn how like that that happened discovery channel had so much uh sciencey stuff too and then the history channel what back then it was documentaries. So I was just watching documentaries all the time. Yeah, now it's like Pawn Stars and My 600-lb Life. But there's other avenues if you like those documentaries.

There's a bunch of apps for that stuff. I love that stuff still. I've been watching a series on YouTube called, oh, something like The Cost of an empire or something. It's about, um, England in world war two. And, uh,

cause they're just like standing on their own against Hitler at that point, fighting by themselves. And, uh, they're talking about, uh, the end in India, all those Indian troops that those were volunteers.

For some reason I had in my head that they were like, get out there. You Indian fucks. We own you. But they just volunteered for that shit they wanted some interesting I was going to say I need to watch more History Channel stuff

but then I'll just learn about ancient aliens or how to get some great deals on products that have been left in someone's storage unit that's true too that's a good idea why does it always have to be a war storage wars storage wars has so much potential they just need to rig it more like it's all like they're already rigging it rig it harder rig it with more interesting stuff don't rig a 65 lamp into

that thing that has a dead body what if they threw a dead body in one of the chests? Just to fuck with one of the people that was bidding on it. And get this. Recently dead. So much so, the organs have value. It's a bidding war. Oh, shit! What's the value in here? Well, there's a lot of Topps cards that are torn.

A human liver, potentially. Nowhere in the hundreds of thousands. One of those stories, they took this old man's dick and they sent it to some university for display. His dick's floating in a jar somewhere at the University of Michigan. Did they put a photo of him there? That doesn't seem very respectful.

No, he just got his dick. Was there something wrong with it? No, they wanted a man dick at the University of Michigan in a jar, and so there poor old Herbert was donating his tissue to science and medical use. And they're like, counts. All right, send it to the University of Michigan so those guys can laugh at it. Do you think they cut it off and then they just threw the rest of him away? No, they had a list.

They had a list. They're like, they sent a spine to fucking so-and-so. To the four corners of the Empire as a warning to those who might intrude. It was like they captured William Wallace. They sent a little bit of him everywhere to do all sorts of nonsense.

That's probably a wrap there, huh? It's dinner time. I don't know if Woody will be here for PKA this week. Before this, we were like, hey, is Woody coming today? I don't remember if he said, but he didn't show up, show up so no he's on his motorcycle i do not believe we have him for pk this week he is he's on his trip so okay anyway pkn413