Painkiller Already - PKN 414

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Support the show & watch the PKN video by becoming a $10 Patron today https://www.Patreon.com/PKA PKA on iTunes: http://bit.ly/PKAOniTunes PKA on Podbean: http://painkilleralready.podbean.com

PKN 414. How are the boys? Good. Doing solid. Doing good. How are you, Kyle? It's been a good day. I slept in a little bit today. I was hoping. Really? What brought that on? Just a little treat, huh? I mean, I have been on a schedule where I get up at like 6 or 7 a.m. That's true. You are a slave driver to your job. I've been getting up early. When you're on a schedule, that usually means that part of the 25-hour day rotation coincided with the morning. Fair, fair. But I've been making an effort to be on a normal people's schedule where i get up in the morning go to bed around midnight or so uh-huh but it didn't happen today i didn't bring that upon like an intentional schedule change yeah i was uh my split unit ac was supposed to arrive

today but it didn't so i wanted to like wake up and immediately start working on it uh because i'm excited to install i've been watching videos on how to install it and i've decided i'm gonna do it myself and everything so it doesn't seem that hard you went back and forth on that choice before uh i talked to a contractor and they were like um because i'm renting this out they were like we need to talk to the owner of the house i'm like i'd like to not involve them at all because i plan on removing this thing and patching holes when i leave so uh i'm just gonna do it myself if they want to talk to some homeowners or anything like that. And it looks to me like I just cut some holes in the drywall, drill some holes, and maybe put a port in the vinyl outside.

We're all good. You can do it. Yeah, it won't be a problem. It'll be a fun project. And it's 115, 120, so I don't even have to wire anything serious. Okay, cool, cool. Well, that'll be neat. I want to see some pictures in the WhatsApp.

Yeah, I'll definitely take a picture as soon as i get the damn thing hung but no part of you for your sleep schedule was was kind of like you know i i grind better i feel better when i go to bed around midnight one you just because you've you've never really said that i know woody and i've said that in the past where like when you get on a good sleep schedule you get like an innate feeling of like you know like i'm i'm up at seven i like an innate feeling of like, you know, I'm up at 7. I'm an adult. Like that. And you don't ever look at the clock and be like 3 a.m. What's wrong with you?

Like nothing's being achieved at this hour. You're just pissing time away watching people do primitive technology. You can level up just as well at 3 a.m. as you can at 3 p.m., Taylor. There you go. Even better sometimes. Servers are dead. So, no no it doesn't bother me at all if it's like wonky i actually like like the the biggest part of um um that last

of last year's or the year before is like big bulk thing like like during that like whole pandemic thing i was only going to the gym at 3 a.m in the morning like 2 to 3 30 a.m and i wanted to go at 3 30 because that was like the witching hour if you if you get there at 320 so so i'm like i'm like actually lifting at 330 it's dead i might actually be the only one there maybe one other hardcore motherfucker who's like a fireman in his gear on the stairmaster or something i mean the gym makes sense with the scuba tank thing for real he did i watched him wait really yeah i was i was like i got his attention i usually don't talk to people at the gym this has been two years ago probably now but he was in black guy in full

gear the tank the helmet respirator he's using the respirator and he's on the stairmaster going and he started in the middle of my workout. 30, 40 minutes later, he's still going. I left and I was like, hey, that's amazing. That's hardcore. Did you thank him for his service? He's a

first responder. I might have because he's going to be fighting my goddamn fire. He's the one who's going to be busting my goddamn door down and grabbing me out. I know he's got the energy to carry me out. I'm going to be like, the PC, get the PC. Throw that on his shoulder too.

They'll pair him up with a female fireman because she has no value. He has two values. He wouldn't mind carrying all your shit, Kyle. He'd be like, you live in a two-story home, sir? I'm trained for 40-story buildings. I don't mind. He's moving you out.

Can I interest you in 20 more things? The armoire! The armoire! Put the shiferobe near the armoire there in the middle of the lawn. Did you find out if he was training for an event or anything? Just being a hardcore firefighter. He just works that hard. Okay.

Just doing the job. Yeah, yeah. That's who you want. Were there any cops in the gym? Thought so. Let me tell you when the cops would come in the gym. The cops would sit outside in their cop car, and I had expired plates at one point,

and so it was making me super nervous. I just hadn't gone and gotten the little tag, but I almost called an Uber to pick me up because I thought they were staking my car out at the gym. I was like, why has he been out there behind my car so long? It's been an hour and a half. My workout has been over and I'm walking laps around the gym. I'm like, I've walked three miles now and he's still out there. Sir, we have reports there's a donut nearby. They sit out there and sleep in their car is what it is. And they come into the gym to use

the bathroom because it's open 24 hours a day. Pieces of shit. Wait, would you say and sleep in their cars, what it is, and they come into the gym to use the bathroom because it's open 24 hours a day. Pieces of shit. Wait, would you say they sleep in their car? Yeah, they sleep in their car outside. They've got like the night shift. On our dime. Well, they're listening to the radio. That'll work hard like us. No, nothing like us. Certainly not. And, uh,

but yeah, the firefighter guy was super hardcore. Um, and the cops really never saw that. How about this for a sketch? There's a cop in the gym, and he's doing a lat pull, and he's screaming at the weights to stop resisting. And then he starts shooting the plates. Last chance, asshole!

Yeah, stop resisting! And he's screaming, and that's the way way he pumps himself up and they start shooting all the iron plates, deflections, killing patrons. You know, I, this is the,

this is a skeleton, but your bones idea. I just thought of it a second ago. But he ruined them. Yes. Yeah. Now he's, well,

no, they'd have to be, they bounce off the iron plates. Oh, they would. Oh yeah. I, I always picture like the iron plates of like weight lifting plates as the

lowest most garbage quality iron is that not true yeah but iron's like soft and malleable yeah it's like incredibly iron as long as it weighs what you need it doesn't feel like a pan imagine it is cast iron and it's brittle but that like um that iron is more soft and malleable it would take a beating from piss i'm with you on the it's not like high quality iron like maybe you don't want to build a ship out of it but i feel like it's the most prestigious thing to lift right like like if it's beaten up if schwarzenegger lifted these old plates and there's a little bit of rust on them but and these things have just gone up and down 1.7 million times by

now that's the hardcore like bodybuilder power lifters gym this isn't no planet fitness this isn't there are no soccer moms lifting that metal that is that is the cool shit have you ever seen um uh coops arnold classic machined uh um. Those really expensive ones? They have his face on them? Yeah. They're machined, each one of them. They might be stainless steel or something. I think he has them with the defect too.

He does. Are those the ones that he's like, look how thin this is and it's 45 pounds too. It's the opposite. These are like deep dish plates that were used for the Arnold Classic bodybuilding stuff at the competitions. They made their own plates for their event.

And Rogue did. And he's got a set of them. I have a bunch of retarded nonsense in my jam that I don't need. But I've never splurged on a plate. I always get the absolute cheapest shit. Mine match. I could show them to you, but they have little handles

that make them easy to grab, which is extra special for me. I almost never fuss about it, but one of my hands is lame, like the fingers don't work. So I'm extra happy to have plates that are extra easy to grab, and they match. That's it. Yeah, I wanted bumper plates because I remember in high school we had one set of bumper plates. And they were only used by the people doing power cleans and stuff.

Obviously, it makes sense. They're dropping the weights. But I always wanted to lift them. They were the cool weights. And so I got two sets of bumpers. I got Titans and the Rogues. And I like them. The bumper plates do look nice. And it makes it look like you're lifting more

because they're so fat. Yeah. Especially the, the Titan ones. Cause they're a little bit, I think it's the Titan ones where like the 45 is blue and so fucking thick. It's, it's like three and a half inches thick.

Oh, I didn't get blue ones. I have a set of red 45s and a set and two sets of black 45s. And I've done like the you know the three plate bench with those before and like it's the most impressive looking three plate in the world because it's like like i certainly don't want those micro like swedish plates that has that it's like you can lift the same thing as the norelco or whatever the fuck except you look like a bitch.

And it's like, I don't want that. They're 45s, but they're like an inch and a quarter thick or something. I want enormous ship chains that actually weigh 15 pounds. That's what I want. Yeah. I forget who it was. One of the powerlifting YouTubers was like, the plates are so thin, they mess with your head. Like, you think you should be able to lift it and you can't.

And I would think it'd go the opposite. It would give me confidence. Some of my PRs have been set because of math errors. I think I can do this easily. I'm like, whew, I'm struggling with 180 today. Oh, wait a minute, that was 205? Yeah. Damn, not a small math error either.

A pretty rough one. You one a couple extra plates there that's a two anyway i don't know why i got 15 instead of 10 but anyway uh or 25 but instead of 20 but back on topic yeah yeah so you would think little plates would be easier to lift even though they're the same weight because psychologically you feel like it's not a challenge but who knows i've never entered a weightlifting competition my father-in-law used to oh does he one of the uh older guys who like kept lifting yes yeah so he got and you know i've i respect it i'll explain it right like he has some first place trophies when there were only, like, one, two, or three people in that competition. But in a way, he beat all the guys that stopped at 42. You know?

Like, he has defeated everyone who quit lifting at 31 years old. So, yeah, he got first place out of two. But he's still in it. He's still in it. He's still the baddest. And at the time that he was, you know, he wasn't like intentionally not going up against the best people. It's just that's who was doing it at the time. You know, it's like people who were really good baseball players in 1910. Like they were playing the best people around.

It's not their fault that like the plumber, you know, was also a shortstop playing the best people around. It's not their fault that the plumber was also a shortstop for the Yankees. He was strong, too. I bet his strength was somewhere in between mine and the two of you. He wasn't a weak guy, even at over 65. How long did he lift? Until

the downhill cancer slide, so call it 70. Until the end. That's slide so call it like 70 that's impressive making it to 70 with a lifting routine that's what did it by the way to lift him that's what gave him cancer you don't think it was the chemical exposure for being a fireman or anything

it was the exercise it was that cerakoted bar sir you have lat cancer what that's not true the exercise it was that cerakoted bar he got he was sir you have lat cancer it's like what it's like i can't that's not true no they're huge it's the best kind of cancer could we uh let it grow a little before we cut it out i gotta take some pictures in those in the summer yeah it's like well it could metastasize but if you're willing to roll the dice it's like

yeah yeah let's roll the dice here it's like oh we have an insidious form Yeah, it's like, well, it could metastasize, but if you're willing to roll the dice, it's like, yeah, let's roll the dice here. It's like, oh, we have an insidious form of cancer. It's called fat-seeking stomach cancer. It consumes the fat in your body, and it's like, all right, tell me when we get to the bad part. It's like, well, here's the thing. It eliminates

all the essential ions in your body that create body odor. It's like, don't you dare Eliminates all the essential ions in your body that create body odor. Like, don't you dare try to heal me from this. It's called Schwarzenegger syndrome. Kyle, you were telling us, you were telling me before the thing started, cheaters in Tarkov, worst you've ever seen it?

I think it's real bad. It's real bad. Now, for people who don't play this game, it can be a little difficult sometimes to identify cheaters like yeah if you get headshotted on the guy's first shot he might have been watching you for a little bit picking a shot or he might be a cheater uh it's not like other games but like cod 4 where they're flying on top of buildings typically yeah i mean i've seen guys fly on top of buildings and come up and talk to me. That one guy was like, Kyle, is that you?

Are you the real Kyle? This wipe or a different wipe? A last wipe because he could see my name and all my information and he was flying. He went and gave me some free loot. I think he cheated a player and brought me the cheated loot. I wasn't going to turn that down and have him kill me and take my things.

This wipe is giving me money. I don't ask where it came from. I'm taking it, alright? No, this wipe, I think I'm pretty good at not calling out just good players. I know what a good, good players kill you so fast, it's damn, I'm bad at this game, aren't I? But you

hear the first bullet, or at least you hear the way they're maneuvering, that they're like, they're jigglepeeking and they're using their sound. I can tell a good player from a cheater. Indoors, in the woods sometimes, though, it's just they turn your lights off. Yeah, I mean, I had a guy that last night, the guy had wall hacks and aimbot for sure because I was just sitting still in a dark place and had been there for six minutes. We're just locking the whole resort down.

I'm looking at a door, two other people looking at other doors, and the guy comes in. I'm waiting for him, and he peeks real quick and fires instantly in the dark with a Mosin-Nagant. It was just a bolt-action shit-to-your-rifle and shoots me in the eyeball.

Couldn't have been a lucky no-scope? Nope! Because then he takes my shotgun and he proceeds to just shit on everybody um doing the same stuff so yeah he was just cheating i've had that same thing got cheated i got killed by a guy who was just shooting me with suppressed bullets from it it was impossible what he was doing yeah so there's a lot and i've heard it from the streamers too about just worst cheats ever on what's the one with the mall help me i can't think interchange interchange so i'm in the mall people who don't know this it's a very poorly lit map so you can

sit in the dark and just be invisible it's not a huge advantage because they hear your footsteps so well but you can sort of just not be in the game and me and two other friends were all sitting in different spots hadn't moved for minutes and uh sure enough the guy comes picks us off one by one all headshots all like pre-fired as he went around the corner he absolutely was cheating and had some sort of wall hacks i had a guy on reserve just hitting headshots from dome which if you don't know the game means from very very very far away and uh you just can't hit headshots from that far away without cheats consistently i mean luck happens but yeah you're just gonna

like knock them out like you watch my four man squad oh i'm sorry what was that oh he wiped your four mans i was just gonna say like you watch the best people play and they don't do that they're not just like headshot headshot headshot at long range like everybody's landmark can't do that this guy's good as a landmark unlikely but you know i i get really discouraged by those losses but then you know there's wins too so i guess it it balances itself back up but it's really discouraging i had a hex i've put a hex grid on i think that's why he came and cheated us is because he could see across the map that i had expensive armor on i think he just came for my armor and took it oh i don't thinkx Grid was in the game

when I played. It's the lightweight level 6 plate. It must be expensive. I think it's better than a slick. Ah, you can't buy them. You have to find them. I don't have another one. That was my one. Yeah, that's something new. It used to be you could

buy pretty much anything on the flea market. Yeah, flea market's really locked down now. They've done their best to eliminate real money transactions, which is what fuels the cheating, at least the cheating that's not for fun. There's plenty of people who are just cheating because they like cheating people, but there's a lot of people who cheat because they make a living doing it. There maybe are professional cheaters in the game, or people who don't play and uh they would go in there they the goal is to go to that map and leave with more stuff than you came with that's the objective so these people

would come use their cheats to grab all the best stuff and then for surprisingly low prices like i think you give them like five or ten dollars yeah they'll give you what would take an honest player a half a day to earn for five bucks and you know there's the cheaters that are the problem and then there's people that pay the cheaters that keep the cheaters going and kind of are cheating themselves because they have better gear than they would have otherwise had so you can go those people are just crushing you so i'm always telling me um uh there's a couple of cheaters that are in like the discord or they they have been cheated they'll be like um i'm like oh i'll be like why does your tarkov name match your discord name i'm like i got banned what did you get banned for i

don't like talking about it i think we got a cheater here boys and he said that the way the cheats worked is they give you a key, and you use some third-party website. You enter that key, and then it gives you temporary access to the cheats, like a day. You might buy 24 hours access to all the cool cheats. And it's expensive, they said. You're spending tens and tens of dollars for a couple hours access to this

and hundreds of dollars if you want to be a full-time cheater so the the thing is i i guess on the people who write the hacks it's a sustained effort to constantly dodge and update it and make sure that it doesn't get caught by the filters so they they put a lot of work into it yeah they charge a lot and it's a shame i wish they would just stick to labs and cheat people. Their labs is the, the big Dick map that we're, we're, you know,

most of the money is supposed to be. Um, I'm, I'm just trying to get my God. Are you going to, is, is, is the cheating getting to that critical mass of no,

because it's more frustrating than fun. I'm done. No, because then I go in with a p90 and i shoot kids in the knees and break their legs and throw grenades at their feet and it's hilarious because they scream and beg people are doing sometimes people are doing their quests in this game and you can catch them like they're like no no please bro i just need to go in this room and turn a knob and pull a screw and and stick my thumb up my ass and then leave and then it's all done i've been working so

hard and you're just like oh yeah well go ahead just put your gun away and then i'll let him go up there and open the door that's like he needs to open and then just murder him right there yeah he also you know what so i get that makes that's different that makes the game more fun because now when he finally does complete that mission he's going to have a sense of satisfaction that's right yeah if every mission was an immediate win it would be no fun right you're adding a little spice little a little life experience no we don't no participation trophies in tarkov okay you're i'm not gonna let you walk in the room and do your thing and no this is a game for winners you kill questers all the time i mean as much as i can i i target

them specifically i go there's let me ask this on the other side do you ever say please don't kill me i'm questing i'll say anything it takes i'm not even questioning it's just a liar i'll i'll i'll say all kinds of shit like there's this weird interaction you have in the game this little social experiment if you will where there are pmcs and there are scavs and there it's hard to tell the difference. And if you're a scav, you cannot kill fellow scavs. The game penalizes you. You don't want to do it. So if you're in a room and I'm in a room, we can't see each other, I'm like, hey, how's it going?

I'm a scav. Who are you? And he says, I'm a scav. I lied. I'm not a scav. I'm a PMC. He's admitted to me that he's a scav. And now we have a friendly conversation about

nonsense. And I walk into the other room as soon as I hear him open a box and I shoot him in the head. Have you ever gotten hoodwinked where someone else reverse scav'd you? Because I make them press F1 and their character speaks out aloud and I hear Russian and I go get them. Oh, only the

scavs speak Russian. No. It's the voice line's there's a little minutiae there there are some russian friends pretty much um now now woody they have a russian character who speaks broken english so there's a guy running around for that it's so fun you can be a bear and your guy's like hurry this way my friends it's great that was a promise for a year now like that i wanted it to have nikita it needs to have nikita's voice line where he stuttered for like 30 seconds i mean you don't know it but anyway yeah maybe you'll get to play it again um if you want to play um private matches with us you don't need anything all you have to do is join and we'll

drop any and everything at your feet because it's a private match we don't lose it and You don't need anything. All you have to do is join, and we'll drop any and everything at your feet, because it's a private match. We don't lose it, and you don't have to feel guilty about burning kits. It'd be great. We were doing that right before the game here. We all go into a small map with pistols and no armor. That way, bullets actually work.

Or we do the opposite. We all put level 6 armor on and bring pistols that are shit. Headshots only. No no helmets with visors we're walking tanks and then and then you bring shitty pistols so the pistols jam every fifth shot so everybody's like ah i'm out of i'm rusty at tarkov now i don't know lighthouse i should be but i i've played enough on the woods expansion than a normal person would know it really well but i still can get we still don't know it me and larry were on there earlier we don't know it well enough we were it's like we're going in the

right direction but left right middle who knows that who knows? That way. Yeah. Just the landmarks in that are tricky to work with. You get lost. Well, if you want to play with us, you're more than welcome. We're always in the $50 Discord down there having a good old time. I've been streaming to those guys, and I've gotten a few of them infected with the game. They went and purchased the game, and there's a bunch of noobs in there starting out,

getting their bronze pocket watches and salewas and shit. I need to keep trying to get people into Magic. Magic's the more fun game. Nobody's cheating in Magic. It's all skill and luck. And money. My son got a game.

It's like Magic, but I think it's Disney Villains. Oh, Disney Vill it called disney villains oh disney villains okay yeah i'm not familiar with that don't go too hard on him because he's a he's a nice kid i loved i i'll i'm two thumbs up to any trading card games i think they're so much fun i really like this is it's new to to us and my family and uh but it the play looks a lot like magic does to me based on what little i know like if you look at the fourth picture you can see they're like stacking cards on cards that have abilities and stuff like that so colin just getting into this maybe he'll graduate to magic someday yeah that looks like fun man i wish i

gave like this when i was a kid like like what am i talking about i was so goddamn spoiled rotten shut up you know what i do wish i had this shit kyle what are you talking about you had a four-wheeler and a rifle but no board games a little lower i see the kids and they've had them for a while now electric powered vehicles, right? Little like, even from the back in the day, they had like Barbie cars in the nineties that were powered. Back in my day, you had to pedal that shit or do the like Fred Flintstone business.

And it's just cooler now. I had the Jeep when I was five. I remember it so well, riding that Jeep in front of the house, the highway there, Sam, our dog, playing around, Dad over here, just like riding that thing. I have strong memories of riding that little battery-powered car. I got it for my fifth or fourth birthday at my grandmother's house. It was a big deal.

At my last house, my neighbor has two little daughters. I don't know kids age eight and seven eight and nine something like that one of them has a little pink electric car the thing goes so goddamn fast she stopped the stoplights like she's driving through the neighborhood and it's like and she's it's going at least running speed like it's going it's going fast i think she could i think i don't think i could catch her if she yeah lithium ion it's gonna make the cars better it's gonna burn a few kids but that's a sacrifice we need to make i could just see her like we don't want unlucky kids walking around anyway

she like hits a bump and that that that battery gets dented and now it's just burning but she's she doesn't know to stop. It's just this big bright blue and white fire burning. Holy shit! Seats four? You can bring friends. What a waste of money. Whenever you see something like this.

Yeah, but look. Two grand. You can buy a used car. Yeah, but you're going to put your kid in the car? Yes! That's more dangerous, I think. You see you're gonna put your kid in the car yes that's dangerous i think well you know actually and they're with them uh kyle you're not thinking straight and cars are only 12 volt you're right yeah technically right but i am missing a detailer too what's the weight limit on this

well it weighs 60 pounds. Is it 300 pounds? Ages 6 and older, you qualify. Yes! Up to 132 pounds. Alright, so I can have some of my lower body. Look, you get a couple of these things,

tape them together. Dude, I'd have to wear these skatesates one on each foot yeah that would be fun dangerous yeah talking about the trading card thing it's it's funny you mentioned it i uh i had this this wooden shelf my dad and i made just this cheap crappy thing for all those storage tubs in my basement and one of the shelves broke and so i went down there today after a long months of procrastinating this and started disassembling it and like taking the tubs out and part of the way that i got myself like amped up for that kind of task is i was like

you know it's been years like way before your last apartment like these tubs haven't been open since you lived in fucking idaho like there could be magic cards in there. There could be Lord of the Rings cards from years ago. There could be so much stuff in there. And so I was like, okay, I can trick myself into doing some organizing. If it's like a hidden agenda of I'm going to find magic and Lord of the

Rings cards. Didn't expect to find, I expected to find some magic cards. I know I had like an old binder, but I didn't expect any Lord of the Rings cards. I found a huge box of old Lord of the Rings cards. They're from like 2001 and 2002. And I spent like hours last night like going through some of them because I found a separate box and then I found more down there. finding them all and so i went online and i found these like because i have some friends who have successfully bullied in my real life to play magic with me on magic the gathering arena and i also like i have some uh packs here like physical magic cards i don't collect the cards anymore i just have

them for like drafting because you need unopened packs to do drafts with friends you can't do it with with open shit and uh but the lord of the rings one i like sent a picture to my buddy and i'm like dude i'm teaching you how to play like, dude, I'm teaching you how to play Lord of the Rings. I'm teaching you how to play magic already. This is like magic. It's a trading card game, except it's way less complicated, a different vibe, bunch of fun. I feel like Lord of the Rings because it's very on point. All the images on the cards, it's stills from the movies. So it's very much like hand in glove with the movies.

And so I went and I found on eBay a bunch of starter decks from lord of the rings and so i did spend a couple hundred bucks on old starter decks from lord of the rings and convinced myself like now you'll just have them forever because what happened like i i used to have so many of these and then they all got destroyed in my mom's house in a flood in like 2002 2003 it's like thousands of cards magic and lord of the ring mostly lord of the Rings at the time, just destroyed. And so I'm like, I'm back in the mix. Thank God I don't have anyone to play these games with other than my wife on a day-to-day basis,

so I'm not as tempted to be buying a bunch of physical stuff anymore. But yeah, thank God for Magic the Gathering Arena giving me the out to play for mostly free, because I can totally like i was looking at card prices on lord of the rings like singles websites earlier today and i and i like had to exit out like what are you doing like what are you doing you're gonna order singles for a card game that went out of business in 2006 i'm baffled by this so this is a card game that went out of business in 2006 old lord of the rings that no one imagine i was telling you a story taylor

i moved from apex seven years ago and there's boxes i've never opened and you know what i you know what i found taylor all batteries double eight nine volts none of them had a charge some of them a little flat motherfucker you're going watches some of them mad some of them didn't match all batteries all batteries, all of the blocks were full of them. So I got into it, of course. I went and added new batteries to the pack. I had to tell myself, stop buying physical batteries.

Organized. Not by voltage, by brand. Do you know how much my... I brought all the magic cards and everything. I have a shit ton of them unorganized on my dining room table, this giant table. I'm like amped to go through and organize them.

I was going through cards and it was like, like the way dogs will respond to something an owner did when they were six weeks old. They don't even know. Like I just started flipping through the physical cards. I feel my stress melt away. I feel my happiness going up. I'm just,

I love it. I opened a happiness going up. I love it. I opened a couple packs and I was doing a draft with a friend a couple weeks ago. You should go to eBay and make some bad financial decisions. Well, I've never been a big eBay user and quickly I decided I'm not getting into it because I'm going to find a bunch of shit that I want and then I'll convince myself that it's an investment. You'd be so happy. I don't want to ever sell this stuff. I want to have them forever so I can play with friends

and teach people how to play. I'm not suggesting you invest it. I'm saying you buy joy. Yes. Okay. Sold. Yes. Dude, that's the easiest way to get fleeting joy.

Spending money stupidly. Have you guys ever do that? I know Kyle has, where you get absolutely baked out of your mind, and then you wake up the next morning, and you think like, my Amazon order's like, what the fuck did I order? What stupid nonsense. Lord of the Rings starting deck,

lot of 12. That's not too bad. I actually have most of those. all of them and you'd be with the set i know the worm tongue and i and i can't i can't have it if it's not in the case well i think that that saruman black rider on the top right actually does have a grima in there yeah yeah yeah grima was a villain he was he was a sneaky fella he wasn't very good though he was weak oh really grima worm tongue was a bad guy yes and he was he was he was one of the bad guys who his abilities i think he could like just demand to fight your ring bearer

right away you didn't get to assign him it's it's a bunch of fun god damn it kyle i wish you would get back into magic at least dude that game is like pay to win, like roll some dice and, oh, look what happened this time. No, just don't. Just don't spend any money. It's too late. I already spent the money. Pay to win or pay to lose. The choice is yours. I already spent the money.

Now you want my joy as well? That was fun playing. I mean, you could come play Tarkov and you could be like, there's a guy that plays Tarkov. Learning curve is so much harder. No, he's a pacifist. He doesn't even use guns. He just goes in and treats it like he's just fists out.

Just a traitor? Yeah, exactly! He's just a traitor! He goes in and finds cigarettes and alkali and fucking batteries. Does he try to do any quests? As many as he can, but you quest like a real person and you can't kill anything.

So he's that strong in his pacifist beliefs. Yes. What a horrible way to play the game. That sounds boring as shit. Did Jericho do that for a bit? Was he an FPS pacifist? I don't know. He ran a riot shield? I don't know. I don't know. He ran a riot shield? I don't know.

I don't know anything about that. Are you keeping a secret or you literally don't know about it? I literally have no memory of what he was driving. I didn't know he did that. Yeah, he used a fake voice, and I'm 99% sure it was him. It was a successful channel for a little bit. It wasn't a gimmick that really had a lot of legs, but it might have been. Yeah, there were a lot of people who tried to do like various

gimmicks, right? Like only use me. Blake kind of had his thing and he invented the idea of the gimmick. Yeah, maybe so. Maybe so. Although, you know, snipers in general, people who just would only use a sniper or quick scope. It's almost a gimmick. But but but his thing knifing

was was sort of counter to the whole idea of the game in general nobody was surprised if you told him yeah i only run a sniper like oh cool you're a sniper yeah but if you're like yeah i only use the knife i'm only use me blade they're like what the fuck is wrong with you yeah i'm not bored it's possible right because the knife is the most powerful close quarters weapon it was they kind of nerfed it over time and made it a little more difficult but you go back to cod 4 if you're in a room with a guy and he thinks to use the knife and you don't or commando on modern warfare 2 uh you're i think you're muted kyle my warfare 2

yeah um but i did mean cod 4 when i said it like the knife was really good in that room and then of course commando with modern warfare two was even better. If you're clever and you think ahead and you know how to navigate in such a way, then you can get somewhere. You have the tactical knife too, where you had like the pistol and the knife and you could. Yeah. And there was one you can shoot or maybe there's the throwing knife.

Ballistic knife. Yeah. Yeah. Ballistic. Yeah. Yeah. That was hard. You've used ballistic knives in real life,

right? I've used a spring loaded ballistic knife and i've used a knife that has a gun in it it's a big it's like a big fuck off knife right kind of like that sock thing you have but there's a gun inside and you push a button and it shoots a bullet out of like the handle at a person i you could hit a person with it i shot some targets with it. You're just pointing. So if you were to hit me with a ballistic knife and I'm 18 feet away, am I hurt?

If I hit you from 18 feet away with a ballistic knife... If I were to throw my knife at you from 18 feet away, you would likely think, oh, cool. Woody gave me his knife. Now I have a knife and he doesn't. If you threw a knife at me from 18 feet away and you knew how to throw a knife,

I think you would grievously wound me as long as I wasn't wearing armor. I think that it would go into me three or four inches into my soft belly meat if it was a big, sharp knife. And I would be terrified of what was going to come next because you just threw a knife at me and hurt me.

And now you're coming. Three more throwing knives where that came from. And you want your knife back. He's not going to leave it in you. He needs it back. Like, I know that you're running at me right now. Okay. See, that's a different kind of knife.

That's a throwing knife. That's a throwing knife. That's for targets. I bet that holds fingerprints well. that in yeah a pair of throwing gloves you know i don't have a good answer for you the one i had was spring-loaded i'm assuming that they used to make one that was pneumatically charged or maybe a blank cartridge and maybe you could shoot a knife faster further but i just can't imagine something that shoots a blade and doesn't it doesn't tumble after a very short distance that's why throwing

knives is actually a real thing not in combat necessarily but it's a real thing that you can throw knives accurately and hit targets because people have the arm move it down and they know how many times to rotate the blade or whatever is Is it like, so throwing axes, I've seen that. I've seen people who are good at it, but I think they're good at it from a very known distance with a particular axe. I don't think there are people who can just randomly hit things with spinning axes like you can a gun, right?

If I put you within 25 feet. Oh various oh that guy and this guy over here and up close to whatever long range i don't care i don't think they can do that right i don't think there are many people who can anyway and i don't think it's going before i have there's a place really near me i don't think historically they would have thrown a lot of weapons like i know that um i think the romans were the ones who would often open up open up with a volley of javelin uh throws uh they would fucking chunk those things and then go to their spears and and shields well something about the uh the romans that uh those are neat but something about the roman javelins if you look up the way that they designed them the metal that

sticked out that stuck out the front of the Roman javelins was super, super bendy. And so it was designed so that no matter what it hit, it was going to end up bending. Whether you missed and hit the ground or whether you hit somebody, it would go into them and bend. But the main goal was at the very least, if you missed, it's going to bend in the ground. Like it's not going to be able to be thrown back to you and if you hit in my head yeah this is the first mushroom or hollow hollow tip bullet as i'm looking for you know if people don't know a hollow tip bullet it goes in really pointy and then it mushrooms out and does extra damage because little pieces flay and it's wider a bendy javelin maybe does a little extra damage on the

way in and throwing tomahawks to me like initially I kind of think of that as a Native American thing. But that doesn't make a lot of sense because they would have had stone axes, right? And stone hatchets until we got there. So it's not like they have some long history of throwing steel axes. I don't know if that's just a one-way thing. It seems like you'd be more apt to throw a stone axe because it's like, who fucking cares? No, it took so long to make! That's pretty embarrassing.

Would it take a lot less time to make than a metal one? No, it'd be so much easier to make them. If you have the technology to make metal axes, then you can crank them out. How do you get metal? Out of the ground. That part I knew, but do you just

burn rocks and shake them a lot and yeah yeah break them what you break them up first and then you're uh i i watched a guy do this on youtube he's like all right so we're gonna oh we got a little metal here he's like getting it out of the ground it's like it's like rocks and he's breaking the rocks up melting the rocks down smelting them if you will and then getting so the heat separates it makes the metal drip out of the dirt he gets this scum on top it's called slag that he was the slag yeah and he's like scraping that off leaving that mirrory iridescent liquid metal behind yeah and then he's able to do stuff with that and it depends on the kind of metal so like steel like you can't like that has to be like

tempered and folded and stuff and so like something like bronze like the bronze age that was bronze is easier to use because you can just pour it into a mold and so they would just have a mold of a sword and sort of make a bronze sword you just poured bronze in it forgive me if this is the sort of thing everyone knows isn't steel like iron with carbon is that what that is and where do they get the carbon charcoal like it's from the uh the heating process it's imparted into it because they're they're sticking it into those those charcoal Where do they get the carbon? Charcoal? It's from the heating process. It's imparted into it. They're sticking it into those charcoal coals and heating it. I believe they're imparting...

You put iron in a bunch of coals and you get steel that comes out. From the hammering, I believe. After a certain temperature. I don't know how metal works. The more we talk about this, I'm realizing. I've watched a bunch of YouTube videos that's as far as i know but i have a delight with the porn because i watched that show the other day where they they watch movies and tv shows and like they had a sword master and he watched the game of thrones scene where they melt down

ned stark's sword and make two smaller swords and he's like that's not at all how that works even if that was a big enough sword to make two smaller swords you just melted it all the carbon left that there is now less material there than there was to begin with and now you have iron again that's not that's not even steel anymore like you gotta start over i didn't know how i do that. I sometimes briefly understand how quenching versus slow cooling works, and then I forget. Yeah, I never knew even to start. In the movies, you're always seeing them quench. Every time they get it hot, they're like,

and have a quench in some oil. But that's what you do when you're finished. Once you do that, you're locking that in. You're locking that. So when do you put it in sand and let it slow cool? I don't know anything about that. I have no idea. That is a thing. I'm certain of it. Maybe that's if you want

steel that's not as tempered. If you melt steel, it turns back into iron? That doesn't sound right. It has to be right. It's on YouTube, Taylor. You can't just say bullshit things on YouTube. There's no checkers in this process. has to be right it's on youtube taylor you can't just say bullshit i believe you i just well i'm saying it on youtube that's why you're right when you're right you're right exactly

if you're not steel it turns back into either worse steel or iron right in any case it doesn't have all the folds and the lattice work of the fucking atoms with the carbon. I've seen the fucking picture of them. But no, back to the point that we were at, I don't think anybody ever threw their fucking weapons away like back when they would have to work so hard to make a stone axe. You'd have to chip that flint or whatever

stone you're using for it. I just feel like I could turn a stone into a lousy, shitty wedge much easier than I could turn rocks into metal into well see that's my point that i'm not talking about you having to do it i'm talking about a culture that can versus another and a culture that can't so the culture who can make steel they've already got that they got a blacksmith already like there's a guy set up to do that it's the indians the reason the indians couldn't make steel wasn't for their lack of blacksmiths it was for their lack of any understanding about the

whole process they didn't know how to get the resources out of the ground or even that it was there like they didn't know how to turn it into something useful yeah they had no idea they're behind the tech tree yeah it's a funny thing how like simple things can be the hard way to do it when they're really efficient at doing it the hard way. If you took a knife to your seat and cut it in seven different ways, you would think the easy thing to do would be to replace the ripped panels. And this is a car seat, I'm imagining, and put it back together. But I bet it's easier just to get a new seat because they're prepared and made to do that there's an assembly line like it's cheaper and better and having some artisan re-stitch in your replacement panel of cloth would be the wrong way probably yeah making that up that's a bad example of cars because there's a we would i would often do that people

be like i want leather i have to have leather and And I'm like, all right, well, let me sell you this piece of shit, and for $700, we'll put leather in it. Cool. And we had a shop that would, for $700, he'd fucking throw leather seats in the car. He'd put leather on top of the existing seats. He'd reupholster it. I see.

I see. That's a bad example. But there are things, right? Like if you damaged it, if you poked a hole in your monitor, you get a new monitor. You don't find a monitor repairman. Phone. I don't know. Yeah.

I see your point. I see your point. Yeah. So a culture that can do something can do that one thing pretty well. I was building on that idea. Man, I'm glad I've never had to go to war. Seems awful. I'm glad I've never had to go to war like it hasn't been that long in history when like

men could say that yeah of course I wasn't never worried about going to war and I never was never once in my life did I think there was any chance that I would be drafted into a war but that's a new thing that's a thing that's like 50 years old yeah it's very

recent that you're not expected every other generation every other generation would have thought that any war popping off they'd be like oh shit oh shit i hope this doesn't get too bad because and it is like isn't that funny of like our own human naivete that like we're like well it's been like well yeah it was like that where you had to go fight and die for things for the first eternity but then 48 but then 47 years ago it changed and so this is something that will never happen again ever and ever because history is not cyclical it's a line of progress and it's like no no eventually you can tell it's true taylor because there's no

wars happening now no there's tons of war i I'm just saying, you know, yeah. If it was true that war was a thing of the past, there wouldn't be some new ones cropping up within the last two months. There's always good wars cropping up. Yeah, but none that require me, and that's all that matters to me. When they're like, we need the 36-year-old felons. Yeah, you're only four years out from being really unattractive for a while

I'll just roll the number back like an odometer when you get to 39 you stay at 39 and then wait five years and we'll cross together I think 37 is as old as you can like uh volunteer oh i there's no way they're taking 37 year olds are they i i know it because

i had a friend who worked in computer security and it was it's one of the pathways people take to get security clearances i feel like they have to be desperate for 30 to be drafting almost 40 year olds. Um, I'm talking about signing up. Like they'll take you. It's what we're talking about, right?

Oh yeah. Yeah. So Zach looked up having to do with, uh, getting drafted. I want to look at volunteers, how old you can volunteer. Yes.

They'll let you do something. I bet until the age of 35 missed your chance missed your calling to be a military man so that is also about being drafted though right they're required to register for the draft and are liable for training and service until 35 that might be a good indicator of it is it does i wonder if that 35 number is also used for volunteers but i know they have like uh the military has like an iq threshold that like if you score lower than a certain iq the military has like determined through testing that like you can't even reliably peel potatoes without being an enormous liability and so like peterson talks about that

all the time jordan peterson will say some simple fucking shit and act like it's the most mind-blowing concept ever i know you're not gonna believe this you're not gonna believe this is gonna blow your fucking mind but if you were in germany in 1938 you might side with the germans like yeah no whoa get out you mean how every war is gone ever where the people from a country tend to take that side whoa mind blown you mean to tell me that ethnic germans were supporting germany and ethnic italians were supporting italy in world wars what like what they didn't go by color coordination and like favorite band dude i have seen him give this speech to so many different audiences like yo you would think you'd be the

one guy who told all the germans you know what i think what we're doing is wrong here but no you probably wouldn't and it's like yeah i i know i'm aware of how groupthink works this isn't blowing mind-blowing to me in the slightest. Just because you know that. So in the 60s, there was this program to bolster the armed forces. And the idea was to lower the bar. I may have told you guys about this before. It was Robert McNamara, I think, was the guy behind the program because they were called McNamara's Morons.

Previously, the floor had been 80 for IQ for entry. He was like, no, no, no. Get that out of here. We're taking them all and not just the retarded people. We want the feeble-minded. We want the psychopathic. We want the criminally

insane. Give us all your worst. Take that thing that says it on the Statue of Liberty. Give me your fucking poor, your sickly, your weak, and retarded. That's what they did. It's his own little suicide squad. And they tried to train these guys up to be,

they called them McNamara's morons, to be like mechanics. It was a huge failure because the vast majority of them could not read. So training them was like impossible. They'd be like, all right, turn to page three of your, and, and,

and they can't read, but it was, I was with him on some of those, you know, the criminally insane. Okay. You have my attention. You have,

all right. We dropped behind enemy lines with nothing but a jar of Kool-Aid and this knife. Good luck on your own devious mind. Thanks for the Kool-Aid. Yeah. I forget what Jordan Peterson's IQ number is. 73, 76, something like that.

And he's like, the Army has decided that below that number, they're not good to have in the Army. And I'm like, I'm not the least bit surprised. You take me a kid who can't make a wreath out of a paper plate and some construction paper and I will show you a kid who's not very good at

fighting wars. And I'll show you a mind tester. Go ahead. There's a candy expo at the other end of this forest everyone get going you don't want to miss the sale boom boom boom they keep charging fearless

they hand him the minesweeper and it's literally a mop and some ear warmers and he's just out there waving it around while he walks through the field ear warmers ear warmers and blindfolds David it around while he walks through the field. Earwarmers and blindfolds.

Yeah, that would be a good way to do it. If you hear a beep, that's a mine. Stop. When you hear a beep, celebrate by doing a jig. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it looks like 83 is the number. Retard squad found another mine sir god damn it those men are brave dude today like we got as like the rain right we got such bad flooding today like the news has been saying like they estimate it as like a one in 500 year

flood it's the most water they've ever seen come down in like a 12-hour period in st louis some areas got a foot uh in all of highway 70 throughout the st louis area was flooded like there are pictures of the cars there one person has died it was an older lady that like got trapped in like eight and a half feet of water and i guess drowned when someone tried to get her out but other than that no one's been hurt. Not Jimmy Johnson! Not Jimmy Johnson! What is that? South Miami?

Yeah. Is the water not just draining into the Mississippi and down somewhere else? Did the Mississippi rise? I'm sure the Mississippi rose a lot. Yeah, it always rises a lot. So when the flooding that I'm used to on that level is, I lived on this little island in New

Jersey and the ocean would rise. So that's like literally you could lay down in that and paddle your surfboard into the ocean. Is that what I'm looking at? Is that the Mississippi River? Is that high now? It's that right there. I think that one's probably a result of like the flooding where the entire ground got waterlogged too quick and all the sewers got full. And so there's just no more drainage. Like there's, so now we just have to wait. Like there's infrastructure is just not made for.

Yeah. It's not made for this much rain. Like you said, when the round gets, when the ground stops absorbing water and every drop that falls just stays there on top, you end up with like smaller tributaries over overfilling their banks and you end up with those like i'm on a hill so i don't have to worry about flooding

thankfully but my cousin sent me a text and like she their whole entire backyard like feet of water her entire basement is like like chest high with water like just house pretty much destroyed our looters are concerned our looters are concerned i mean i can't imagine they're anyone would be looting these these waters maybe some sort of scavengers like walking around outside you need to deal with ah could be uh not near me uh hopefully well you never know oh look faithchurch.com head on over there folks that's a that's gonna be a new that's gonna be a new that's gonna be that's taken shake that must be the only open steak and shake in in the area they're still looking like they're open but yeah can we unironically get a sponsor like faithchurch.com

and talk about the lord and like like we can make table make Taylor's Bible Stories sponsored by faithchurch.com. That sounds great. Yeah, well, they'll pay. I think I got one. I would love to run a faith-based podcast, and Minister Taylor likes to do Bible stories.

He sort of modernizes them for the younger audience. We'd love for you to sponsor that segment of our show. It's right before the Faith with Family and the Prayer Hour. It's going to be our new show.

I feel like Taylor doesn't flex on St. Louis enough. St. Louis was pretty good. I just rode my motorcycle through it. I was there for minutes. I'm pretty much an expert. One, Mississippi River is one of america's cooler things that we have going on there's like grand canyon we got a couple of oceans maybe three i'm not sure and uh the gulf i don't know anyway uh anyway we're a mountain range and we have the

mississippi river like we talk about the great lakes all the time the mississippi river is their equal it's it's cool you look at it, it's like Niagara Falls, just how much gosh darn water is moving. It's so wide. It's really wide. An enormous river. Probably deep. And the water moves quickly.

And there are full fucking trees just going with the flow. And no one is surprised that it picked up any trees along the way it's just like yeah yeah you know there's water and logs and trees and stuff there's there's no like in the mississippi where you're like oh you just got it out of that bend and just hang out it's beautiful it's like no it's it's a miserable disgusting giant river the whole way like people try and swim in it people try and swim across it every year, and every year people drown. You always focus on them. I bet a lot of people swim across it successfully.

You could. I'm good on you. You can do it, but these guys don't. I told you about the story. One guy jumped in, and then six of his friends tried to get him out. All six of them drowned, and someone saved the initial guy a little bit down the river. So that's a fucking nightmare for the rest of your life. I bet that guy who saved the initial guy a little bit down the river. So that's a fucking nightmare for the rest of your life.

I bet that guy who saved the initial guy could have swam across. He should have. He's just like, you know what? I'm feeling fatigued. Those other six can fuck off. Well, he, yeah, saved the guy and then flex on him by doing what he could. Yeah. Now watch.

Watch how you should do this. That's the move right there yeah i saw the photo you sent of st louis and it was like i was like oh there's the arch and all right like well there's no blues game going on right now so there's not much going on down there oh i saw i saw john mulaney at the enterprise center where um where the Blues play. He was hilarious. Super, super funny. You know John Mulaney is a very famous, funny comedian. He had some really funny bits. Recently, he had

a cocaine relapse. I guess he was addicted to cocaine in a big way and had to go to rehab for cocaine. He had some really funny bits about his celebrity intervention of all these people and how horrible he was during it he had some really funny bits about his celebrity intervention of all these people and like how, you know,

horrible he was during it. Really, really funny show. They also, they gave us these things though, that I texted Chiz about. They're these pouches that you put your phone in and then they take a locking mechanism and they lock it.

And so you just have to carry around this like foam, like satchel with your phone in it. And at the end of the event, you give it to them and they unlock it and they take your phone out. And like, like anyone, I like, they did that. And I was telling my wife, I'm like, I'm just so curious, like if I could bust into this, like, I want to know if I could tear into this if I needed to. And, but it was really just curiosity. And so I was like, we were like, I was going to grab a hot dog or something. I was like, well, before I get the hot dog, I'm going to run to the bathroom, see if I can break into this real quick. And she was like, okay. And so I went in, I found the corner handicap stall and it had like this like button

at the top that had like a metal holding pin that snapped in place. And you could like barely get a finger in between it. But over the course of the next three minutes, I like was putting it up against my chest for leverage and then just like pulling as hard as I could. And after, and I was just trying to see if it would work. And after what, like not that much effort,

it goes pop, like sounds like somebody just shot a 22 in this bathroom and the holding pin snapped. And I was like, Oh, I got it. But then I was like, okay,

well the show hasn't started yet. I guess I'm gonna have to pretend it's locked for the rest of the show. And so I walked out there and my, my wife was like, did you get it? And I'm like, yeah, really?

They must not expect people to be trying to bust into these because you can, you know, if you really work at it, you can tear it open. It took you three minutes. Yeah, three minutes. And like, in fairness, my grip strength is pretty good compared to the average guy. Your grip strength, you kept in pull day. Those are the muscles you employed. Yeah, so I tore it open

like a monster and then I, just because like I wanted to, I also tore my wife's phone out of hers. Just to show her that you could do it. Just so you know, this wasn't a fluke. And then I tore apart two apples. Dude, one of the things that happened is they have these little areas where it wasn't that. Did it look like?

No, it was not this. It was like a pouch. That looks expensive and nice. wasn't that like no it was not this it was like a pouch that looks expensive and nice there was i decided to do it initially because as soon as we went in you could like uh go by these little areas where it was phone allowed and i didn't turn my phone off before i put it in the pouch so i was like fuck so i went over there and for the half dozen people who already were like everyone over there was like i forgot to turn my phone off i don't want to waste battery while it's in there it took these fucking retards at the phone opening station a full minute to get to me and there are 10 15

000 people at this show every single one of them is waiting in line at the end to get their phone unlocked and so we missed probably 90 minutes of line because i destroyed those things and took our phone out and we just like literally i that's literally that was the big thing. I was like, wait, so there's 12,000 of us here to see John Mulaney. That means there's minimum 12,000 phones. Oh no. And these people are idiots. They couldn't

make it in the army. They couldn't hack it in the potato core. So yeah, fuck that shit. Unbelievably rude to be locking everybody's phones up whatever happened to the honor system of just keeping your phone in your pocket who the fuck's looking at their phone during a comedy show well they're recording and uploading material oh that's fair i see now i thought even when you said recording i thought melanie was recording and he wanted

peace and quiet they didn't i thought it was about ringtones and shit like that. I'm sure it's all of the above. I'm sure, yeah. But I wasn't planning on taping the show. What am I going to re-watch it later? No, you could have sent it to me. Save me the money for the ticket. Just have that horrible tinny audio on my phone.

Ha ha ha! I love when Harley did that thing on the show last week when he said the retarded guy was talking. The retarded guy was like, like looking him right in the eye. The way he did that face had me goddamn rolling. That was funny.

We need to get a still of that and use it for things. I'm going to make that a Twitch emote. Well, you guys want to call it a show? My dinner is ready. Oh, yeah, we got shit to do. We got to do the hangote. Well, you guys have a call to show them. My dinner is ready. Oh, yeah, we got shit to do. We got to do the hangout. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

PKN 414.