Painkiller Already - PKN 415

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

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PKN 415. Kyle, you were watching the last three presidents announce the death of, I don't think they were all Al-Qaeda leaders or just terrorist leaders. Terrorists. Dirty, bad hombres that the U.S. dealt justice with the long dick of the law. You know, it's my understanding that they actually are bad hombres that we dealt justice to. This is like 9-11 master. Okay, maybe I misinterpreted your tone like it was jokey, but there are bad hombres who really just disagree with U.S.

national policy. Like, oh, do you not like our imperialist policies, you dick? And then there are bad hombres who are really bad people who went and killed too many civilians. There's an acceptable number. I think we all know that. These were bad guys that we killed. I know that.

But what I like was this. We both saw this gif and it's the last three presidents reacting to we got them. You got Obama. You got Biden obviously now and then of course Trump. There's one part Trump in the middle when he gets his guy. Oh, let's play it. I'm going to guess Trump does a joke out.

Let's see. The United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead. The United States has successfully concluded an airstrike in Kabul, Afghanistan, that killed the emir of al-Qaeda. Who? Iman al-Qaeda. Who? Iman al-Zawiri. A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. He died like a dog.

Coward. The mission was a success. None of his family members were hurt and there were no civilian casualties. These efforts weigh on me every time I, as commander in chief, have to sign a letter to a family that has lost a loved one. His body was mutilated by the blast. The tunnel had caved in on it, in addition. As commander-in-chief, it is my solemn responsibility to make America safe in a dangerous world.

Tonight, we give thanks to the countless intelligence and counterterrorism professionals who've worked tirelessly to achieve this outcome. The U.S. personnel were incredible. I got to watch much of it. I'm so grateful for the superb patriots who serve the United States intelligence community. Let me say to the families who lost loved ones on 9-11 that we have never forgotten your loss. that we have never forgotten your loss. These savage monsters will not escape their fate.

Damn. And they will not escape the final judgment of God. Today, we remember the loss. We commit ourselves to the safety of the living. Trump is such a Christian. And we pledge that we shall never waver from defending our nation and its people. No, I bet he's not a real Christian.

I want takeaways from that, the things that stood out to you because let me if i may dad like a duff biden biden to me his voice his voice is sort of wavering he's clearly squinting and having trouble reading the teleprompter whether that's because the letters are too small moving too fast or or or he's just overwhelmed by the combination of i've never read a teleprompter before i've read cue cards and i found that a bit difficult um so so but but this is a professional politician doing it his whole life no excuses looks bad there he looks weak obama is so fucking in command and in control there um i don't know something about maybe his head movement and where his eyes were maybe

it's just where the camera was um obama he was right there he sounded great there and he was by far the most professional and uh if i had to pick one of those three to be my president you know in a tough situation i'd probably pick obama i would i would pick obama of course um But then Trump comes in and he does what we love. He died like a dog. His body was mutilated. Our guys were badass. And just so you know, I, so all of you know,

I got to see some cool shit. Only me. We were in the special room, the VIP lounge, if you will, of the White House. I got to see it all. That is the best part. He's like low-key bragging or he's like incredible soldiers believe me you'll never see video like this i was there i saw and and he killed it like that level of just little brag little braggadocious but i i liked his like he died like a dog like that actually like best

i mean it's funny i'm not saying it's not funny. I'm not saying that Trump had the least entertainment value, but that shit, it's unprofessional grade school bullshit too. We can all see that. We're talking about

our geopolitical enemies that he killed. I'm okay with it. I don't give a shit if they want to say that about terrorists. It strikes me as unprofessional. If I'm on the side or if I watch them say that about us, I'd be like, oh, they're grade school bullshit. Ah, but we're not talking about another state player,

right? We're talking about terrorists. I remember the guy that... Terrorism is a tactic. It doesn't make any sense to declare war on terrorism any more than it does standing behind trees while shooting. We're declaring war on standing behind trees while shooting. Well, I agree that declaring war on terrorism as a word doesn't make any sense. But declaring war on a terrorist cell or a faction like Al Qaeda or any of the other more ridiculous.

What's the one that trump defeated and we don't talk about them anymore i can't remember the name anymore no i tell them beat us isis isis yeah the taliban beat biden trump had him on the ropes dude what uh that's i i changed my mind that's going to be my core belief going into the next election cycle is how trump would have won trump take, take us back into Afghanistan and win it. I used to troll my father with that because Obama pulled a lot of troops out of Iraq. So I was like, Obama won the Iraq war. And he's like, what?

No, no, it wasn't him. It was W before with the surge. And I was like, I don't know. If you say Reagan won the Cold War, then I get to say Obama won the Iraq war. They were there when we pulled the troops out. I don't know. If you say Reagan won the Cold War, then I get to say Obama won the Iraq War. They were there when we pulled the troops out. I don't know, Dad. The Wikipedia has a little end date here. When did that happen?

Is there an end date on the Iraq War? No, there's not. It's still kind of going. It's not even a war. Congress declares war, and we haven't done that in a while, have we? The Iraq super-duper legal conflict. Yeah. In any case uh if i rank them i do say obama trump then biden um i don't know again biden seems to be a really competent administration

right and and that it's important that i say administration and not biden himself right like here's something that just happened administration and not Biden himself, right? Here's something that just happened. They just got that chips bill passed so we can bring semiconductor manufacturing back into America. So the fucking car industry gets rolling again. So the computers get rolling. Everything that has chips in it, which is everything that there is, is going to be better because of this chips bill that the Democrats managed to get passed. Cool. And then they got their build back better stripped down coming on the heels of that. The Biden administration is getting shit passed. If you go back to the Trump administration, they got a tax cut for corporations and wealthy.

And then it shut the fuck down. He didn't do another thing after nine months. Biden is still rolling in hits. Go to Ukraine. On the Ukraine war, right? We're supplying the good guys with the military that they need to hold their own i don't know if i can say winning but uh but like if i look at what the biden administration is doing i don't think he's getting enough credit for it because he sucks

at selling himself if you look at what biden does if you just watch him on camera, I can't recall a worse communicator in my lifetime. And I don't know that we've had a worse one in that job. Yeah, he's not very good at it. He's too old. He always seemed just he seems as surprised by his next word as the audience. And I don't dislike it. It's part of his job. I'm sorry, Kyle, don't dislike it. It's part of his job. Part of, I'm sorry, I cut you off.

Part of his job is to get me on his side, to get me to believe what he believes. Part of his job is to be convincing and to sell himself as president. Trump did that really, really well. Right. Trump was always bragging about his great accomplishments, even if they were like, I don't know, silly things that didn't actually happen or things he wouldn't define. Hey, we're just cutting regulations left and right. Like which ones? Never, ever said which ones.

Biden, on the other hand, when he gets a win, he doesn't even mention it again. It's done. It's in the past. It's over. I don't know. I mean, I see stuff from like his, I guess his administration, like talking up his achievements. That's their job. Okay.

Maybe you're right, and it's just not getting to me in my personal media universe. I only see the bad news. I saw them trying to spin the recession thing with the definition of a recession. I hate it. Yeah, you're right. It sucks.

I don't know who the press secretary, her name is. I don't know. When they change so much, I dislike it because I like knowing who that person is. I like the redhead that was in there before. I like her a lot. They should have like two

year contracts, like an athlete. They basically seem to. One or two years. Oh, I like Taylor's idea though. Schedule it. Yeah. That'd be great great it'd be like like trump and biden they trade uh they have a trade let's get kelly and conway in there fighting on biden's behalf oh kelly and conway was wild that whole thing like like i forgot about her oh remember there was like underage nudes of her daughter and there was it was a whole fucking

you don't remember that no oh my god there was so much craziness yeah yeah the daughter was like you know a normal teenager so she is not down with the trump administration so she's running this fucking crazy social media thing with like kellyann and her screaming at each other in their house your daughter would like upload embarrassing fights between her and her parents to tiktok or instagram or whatever and when kyle said normal teenager and i nodded along what i was thinking was a normal teenager that as part of the maturation process pushes back against her parents that's what happens right every time the kids hit their teens boy or girl they need a little more space from their parents than they used to have a little more independence this is part of learning to stand on your own two feet

and there's friction there parents who are used to controlling you like a puppy that so in her normal maturation process it manifested itself with some really embarrassing public fights i try to let it slide every time a politician's six year old Won't kiss him probably because they're mad That dad is on the fucking campaign trail On a bus 20 hours a day That was that face she made When he tried to kiss her Yeah she was mad at him

She was mad at him You know six year olds do shit like that Like I let it slide Zach was not six Okay I made a mistake but kids do that How about that No Woody's right there will be stuff like that like i let it slide like it was not six uh okay i made a mistake but kids do that how about that no what he's right like there's old there will be stuff like that and and there i remember like when that happened there were people like like real people like who have jobs like writing articles being like the body language of ted cruz's daughter signs of abuse and it's

like settle down like if my family was in politics if i was if i was ted cruz's kid or whatever oh fucking stick your tongue in my mouth if that's what the voters want to see like like i'm a hundred percent down like what do you need me to do like good example should i do charity work well you're gonna go on a little island vacation little kyle no no not that this is the kyle that had a doting father who gave him a lot of attention right there might be a very different version of kyle whose dad was on a bus not giving him time and love i want to be on the bus i'm gonna i want to be a little politician i want to i want to like a tiny little tuxedo i like me on the road and it's a very consistent stance. He also put himself in the

shoes of, I think, Walter from Breaking Bad. Kyle's a heroin dealer now. He's like, hey, is this the family business? I don't care, Dad. I'm on your team. I don't care what team it is. We'll play for anyone, but you and I play together. Yeah, let's go. No, that would be fun. I would absolutely toe

the line if I had, because first of all, that might be the best gig. Okay, that gig is so good. The gig being a switch puller. Is this the Breaking Bad gig? No, no, no, being a switch puller or whatever. Any level of politician, right? If you're just on a city council of like a decent-sized city,

I'm sure that there's some gravel company somewhere that would pay you $5,000 to vote a certain way. You know what I mean? Like even if you're just that guy you're the guy in a middling city who's on the city council you're the deciding vote whether they get the contract to fucking gravel the new track at the high school field right if you've got that vote and you can swing it their way and convince the others like you can get paid to do that and then you escalate that up to i don't know the state senate or the real senate it just seems like a great fucking gig like oh yeah dad are you a fucking you at united states senator teach me your fucking ways you know what's funny about the state

senator thing is our state house member whatever like yeah my when i was a very young kid my parents were like family friends with this other couple and the guy was like a state representative and i remember even at like the age of like six like and my dad would poison me a little bit on the way over there because it was one of those things like my mom and this woman were close friends and my dad thought that this guy was a fucking loser he would like tell me he's like this guy's a state senator you know i'd be like he's in the government and he's like yeah he's a state representative this guy is a loser and i'm like really and he's like this guy he's gonna make it seem like he has power. This guy couldn't get a street lamp changed.

He is a loser. And I remember like walking into his house and being like, fucking loser. Your dad, right? I don't know. I don't know at all. My dad was right. Yeah. This guy individually, not because he was a politician. This guy did end up being a duplicitous piece of shit like a a bad guy not

outside of his politics my guess would be if you're not from a marquee state and you're just a state um not senator because i think state senators everywhere probably have a degree of power um even if you're the i don't know what's the shittiest state to be a state senator of the biggest least populous one i suppose i'm sure you can still get something done it's probably a kind of a prestigious gig but if you're just one of those representatives some of those states have like dozens right like come on yeah i i yeah or hundreds so i looked at i briefly had an interest in like like maybe i could get into politics and i i'm sure i can't look at all the shit i've said in the show But anyway how much do North Carolina politicians make

How much do you think a North Carolina house a rep Makes annually Not a lot $37,000 I was gonna guess like a librarian Salary something like that It's in the teens I forget if it was 14 or 17 a year

Now I think there's some like Per diems and shit that might crank that up to 24. But it wasn't like, I was like, fuck, that seems like a lot of pressure and trouble. Is there something else? Here's what you do, Woody. You find the most mountainous district in North Carolina. And you get a cabin there that you can ride your bike up to. And you try to become the rep from there. That's going to be the one. And you ride your bike from house to house and you're the motorcycle congressman. Both houses in your district.

Yeah. You know, I'm not that good at motorcycles, it would seem. This is a very dangerous idea. No, you're not. I think you're really good at them you just you just want to push the limits the problem is what you're really good at is not what you want to do ever you want to do that thing that you're learning to do that that thing you haven't mastered yet oh i'm kind of conquest based personality wise and uh yeah so like if i'm competent at something well let's put that thing down and see where else we can go. Yeah. Here I am hopping around.

Well, you're always sort of pushing the edge, right? And that's the idea, trying to see how far you can take this thing before you fall. And the only way you know is if you occasionally fall. but i mean it's like uh do you remember uh what's it called in the military like a prom where they they promote people too much and so like the principle is that what you think yeah it's like the the best colonel in the world they move him to major and now he's a shit major instead of an awesome colonel it's like you could be the best normal flipper in the world but you're like i'm bored of that now that's stupid i'm a hyper flipper it's like all right try hyper flipping by the way that's what that that's the thing that i'm surprised that you're not more into because it seems like for me personally i think you

like the adventure aspect and like that that it's almost like a destination sport uh because you're going there to do the thing but i like bringing things home and having them like here with me so if it were me i'd want one of those like bmx pits that you can ride the bike over a pit and do wacky backflips and if you crash you're crashing into that big pit of foam or whatever not exactly that oh i see what you're talking about like a that kind of flipping what i've have you ever seen motorcycle trials riding do you know what this is like yeah uh for the audience they go up six foot walls they climb over like a bunch of tires we've all played the game okay then everyone maybe they know more than i'm giving them credit for i could practice that in

my backyard i could get a trials bike and and it doesn have to be, I'm not going to be them and I can be jumping up eight foot walls. I'm not that good, but a two and a half foot, three foot log. I can learn to clear that. I can learn to wheelie. I can learn to balance on a thing like that might be fun. Jumps interest me like,

like on a bike that's made to land, obviously not on my bike. It will land and then go wobbly and then i'll die i know better than to jump my bike but a bike a bike like that oh my god look at that's a trials bike it's very shit how many cc i don't know 200 it doesn't take a lot what the fuck is that it doesn't have a seat is that just sit down on that bike it doesn't have a seat yeah it's made for doing the service i want to know what it weighs i'm i'm fascinated now because i bet that thing weighs as little as possible but take a guess what that that thing weighs i'm gonna guess it weighs 114 oh my you

you guys both guess and then i'll give you the my made-up answer i'm gonna say i'm gonna say a hundred and holy shit there's not much there is there that back tire looks heavy i'm gonna go under you i'm gonna say 99 pounds so i googled one and i just found this now i did i'm getting 155 on the first one I found. Okay. Another one was 148. 150 seems to be the roundabout number. Incredible. Incredible. I mean, you can curl the bike. That's a lot for me.

I could cheat curl it. Yeah. I want time under tension with the bike curl. Get it up. It's a bike. curl it yeah oh oh no i want time under tension with the bike curl i'm back in the gym now um nice yeah so i've done a push pull and then a rest and now i'm back on push today uh it kind of sucks like it i thought it wouldn't make that big a difference right like you know like overhead press with dumbbells. No big deal, right? You know, so you can barely stand on one foot.

You can still do it. No, man. First off, imagine this isn't your first exercise. You've been hopping around on your good foot for 40 minutes already. Now you've decided to stand on just that tuckered out, tired, sort of numb, swollen foot and do your overhead presses with like another 100 pounds 50 in each hand you should do when i seated yeah seated uh overhead press would be easier because that's not how i do them oh

so uh they've been like and then uh seated for example, I did incline bench press with dumbbells and getting them in position. I lowered my weight just to make everything a little less hazardous and increase my time under tension. But I'm like, shit, this is an exercise that barely requires feet, yet having one foot has fucked up my incline bench press. I talked to Finn today. Finn and I talk whenever he's got diet advice or anything. Those of you who are out there who are fans of Finn's

new body, you have me to thank. We talked about his diet. Got him down, I don't even know how many pounds. 15, 17 pounds, something he lost. And looking real curvy these days. And he said his new workout program, he's going to try to get his thighs and his ass as thick and big as possible he's just gonna do so i wrote legs legs legs and he's so um dude that's hilarious that he like he's got i guess i'm trying to phrase it

right like i'll say cosplay priorities you know in his case like hot chicks this is their split legs push legs pull legs rest repeat it seems like where his priorities are that's funny yeah he's like like 10 years from now retires from twitch. He's got a just 52 inch ass. Yeah. I'm wondering how long it's going to be before Finn is doing only fans. I bet in the next year it happens. You think so? I think there's a ton of money to be made and he's not going to be able to

say no to it forever. I mean, I do want to see it. That one guy in our, in the, of course we're gonna sign up do you want it do you want some more risque photos of the of the gentleman in the 50 discord that uh the one that did the cosplay really well yeah i didn't know how to phrase it he so for people don't know this is a dude like a masculine dude you would never guess who did a cosplay at like a video game expo this is about 80 right and i saw the picture of him doing cosplay who was the person that he was you know i'm not into any of that weeb stuff but but he's an anime character

yeah okay a female anime character anime girl he could pass right he could pass he did pass guys guys would ask for pictures with quote-unquote her and she'd be like yeah bro let's do it and he said the look on their face would be just like like surprise and disgust but he's like but they're too beta to say to say no to the picture so they have to come in for a close one then i'm pretty sure this guy's i asked about it i didn't phrase it very artfully but it was like what else you got going on you know cross dresser trans uh straight gay sis like you like i don't know tell me the rest of the story yeah dude he's just a sis dude i did a cosplay did he did he confirm that for you because he flirts with me far too much for my own particular but i i like him we play magic sometimes it's never woody um yeah no it's my understanding that that he's just straight like like the three of us who who like the to game expos. Girls every now and then.

The thing is, hypothetically, let's say that Kyle decided to be a girl for Halloween. He's not passing. Guys who do this don't even shave half the time. Can I be that lady Hulk? Oh, I like where your head is.

But he's still not going to pass. This guy crushed it on like a finster level or finster adjacent level and uh it just made me wonder like wow you're shockingly good at this he does pretty it was funny because like as the the conversation in the hangout surrounding his cosplaying was going on everyone like you said thought it was a finster situation so they're like what other pictures do you have of cosplaying and he on everyone like you said thought it was a finster situation so they're like what other pictures do you have of cosplaying and he's like oh here's another one i'm the guy from office space and they're like no not or indiana because he's here's me as indiana jones he's just

he's just a guy that likes cosplaying yeah i don't know like it's not a sexual thing he's just like you know what would be tight today indie like but if you're indiana jones right like what do you do you know you get the hat you get the jacket the shirt pants maybe get the high-ish a small asian boy off fiverr sure dr jones dr jones and you're and you're set right if you're going to be that little anime girl, he had to shave his legs. He presumably shaved his arms, too. My forearms are hairy. Way too hairy to pass as a girl's forearms.

And so he had to shave everything that they were going to see. And that little skirt he's wearing. And that crop top thing he's wearing. Yeah, he must have shaved. He did a bang-up job dude i saw that movie with the um little guy from indiana jones that you just yeah everything everywhere all at once thanks yeah i so you guys both saw it you both really liked it yeah i thought it was good five stars what'd you i thought it dragged on too long

in the multiverse stuff it was just a little too much silliness for me dragged on too long in the multiverse stuff. A little too much silliness for me. A little too long with the hot dog fingers. Too long with the rocks. Speed it up. I did too. I like the hot dog fingers. I'm sorry.

The hot dog fingers came into play at the end. I'm trying not to spoil it. But you didn't need that much time. I like when they sucked on them. I didn't. It was too much for me. It was like people don't suck on their normal fingers. What are you talking about?

Mustard and ketchup doesn't come out of normal fingers. Did it come out? It came out of their fingers, yeah. It was all over her mouth. It was fucking hot. It was a lesbian hot dog finger mouth-banging session with ketchup and mustard, the way I recall it.

You are winning me over. No, it's not a real winning situation. But that was like 20 seconds of a two-hour movie. It does go on for a little bit long there at the end. I agree with that. But like 10 minutes too long.

You know? I thought it went on long at the middle the chubby asian daughter um first of all i love when the mother walked up to her and said i need to talk to you and she's like yes mom you're getting fat and and the girl and she like tears up and starts crying and it's like damn that was rough uh but but i had a little bit too much of her like in her like mini costumes and makeup but otherwise i loved it i loved it i cried at least once uh i thought it was a super great like family story with all that multiversal matrix kung fu shit when she first like did the kung fu shit and deflected the knee, I teared up there. At that part?

Yeah, I don't know why. Because of the triumph? The triumph! Triumph is good. She doesn't know what to do, and at the last second, she learns not just what to do, but how to handle all of the,

oh, really, a knee. She likes that, and starts attacking with some crazy kung fu stuff. It's fun. I love it. I have the fanny pack fight. That was a good one. That was excellent. Probably the best fight.

She was really blunt and sort of overly open and critical of her daughter. As a parent, I wonder if I should have done a little more of that because I feel like the kid gets somewhat hardened to it and can get feedback from their parents. Whereas now everything I say is like voice of God seriousness. And it makes me really walk on eggshells when I give any kind of feedback or talk about things. You know, I can't say like, you know, teachers don't earn a lot of income without it being like, how dare you?

And it's like, ah, you know, maybe I should have just talked more shit your whole life. I think so. If you were dumb, maybe a way to begin a conversation like that, it would be to ask, hey, would you like a little insight on what jobs like that are like it would be to ask, Hey, would you like a little insight on, uh, on,

on what jobs like that are like, or, or how that would pan out? Maybe like ask, um, if, if, if someone wants that help and that information,

because I try to keep my like opinions to my fucking self with people in real life, unless they specifically ask me, because I don't want somebody coming to me and be like, you know, you're tying your shoelaces wrong. I'm like, fuck you. I didn't ask. They're on my feet, god damn it. Get the fuck out of here. You were like a military guy or a hiker

and I was like, hey. Or hockey is perfect. I bet you've got a special way to lace your fucking shit up. I have no idea. I play baseball. We fucking tie them in a knot. I don't know. If I was i was gonna lace them up in some special way i would ask and then but i don't want you coming to me tell me how to lace my shit up i'm a grown-ass man even if you know don't tell me i'll figure it out right this is a kid who's cerebellum frontal cortex taylor what developed this late i know you'll know

uh what your prefrontal cortex i think that's what i'm looking for yeah yeah you're still forming right this is a person who needs your advice and guidance you're a parent in this situation you want to ask your 16 year old if it's okay to give some input oh they're getting the see see they're gonna negotiation though they're getting the input regardless but they might be more receptive to the input if they thought it was their idea to receive it if if you if you said hey i know a little bit about this i know i know sometimes it's better to go in on your own but if you ever want to know do you want to know kyle's got this a keto parenting style he's working right you use your opponent's momentum against them you know what you could do what you could have been like gaslight your kids into

believing that they have a sleep talking problem and that you are just relaying the fantastic advice they had. Did you know that you very astutely just hit the nail on the head with S&P 500 investment advice last night? Let me tell you verbatim what you said. You're not going to believe it. I just know that when I was a kid and when I was a teenager and maybe when I was a young adult even, my biggest problem was I couldn't listen to advice and I didn't want anyone to tell me how to do something. And the reason,

although I couldn't explain this to people was that the way they were trying to explain it to me began with a lot of shit I already knew that I really wanted to jump forward to this one little piece that I don't understand. And that them going through the entire thing seemed insulting to my intelligence. And I don't have the patience for it either. I'm like, no, no, no. I'd rather go fail three times at the fourth step than have you explain the first three steps because I already't either explain that to someone or just sit there patiently and have my precious intelligence insulted, then time and time again, I wouldn't listen to really good advice from people who had done it before. And now that I've done a few things here and there and I see people going to do them and I'll tell them, hey, look, you're about to go do this thing. I've done it before. Do you want to know? And they'll be like, I got this. And I'm thinking in no you don't no you don't like i asked because i see you don't you're about yep you failed it hurts doesn't it you could have told you about that

i've had that same injury might have wanted to listen but okay yeah that's got to be an infuriating part of being a parent. I would imagine Woody is being like, I know exactly the quandary you are facing. If only you would drink the water I've led you to. I try not to go too much into my family dynamic, but I'm going to talk a bit. Jackie is kind of yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Right. So she can say anything, but it doesn't always stick, right?

I, on the other hand, need to be guarded and careful with what I say. Don't foul this up because it sticks so much more than my dumbass thoughts are worthy of sticking that you need to make sure you're sending the right message carefully. Maybe that's the conversation you need to have, right? you're sending the right message carefully. Maybe that's the conversation you need to have, right? Like, hey, I feel like I give so little advice that every little piece that I give you feels like the Old Testament or something. And look, I make mistakes just like everyone. It's just that I want to share with you

what I've learned from all the mistakes I made over the last 50 years without every one of them being written in stone every time. Because I'm going to foul some stuff up too. You almost need to have that talk. Maybe, yeah. At this point, if we're talking about Hope anyway, she's 23. That's fair. It's way more hands off. That's true. Not when I was 23. I needed some help.

I'm trying not to doctor her. I'll say this. She has a grown-up job with health insurance and a 401k plan now. That's for her. That's great. Nice job, Hope. Yeah, I still call my dad when I've got

a thing I'm doing. I'm about to install this thing or'm doing like hey i'm i'm about to install this thing or buy this thing what do you think about that uh and sometimes they'll like have one anyway like like stuck away somewhere it's always good to talk to him for us or it is someone who knows what they're talking about yeah oh i had the politics time we brushed on politics on the Sunday Hangout. Yeah. I try to only cover politics when it's interesting, but this is what's happened.

I've called up on it. The Democrats did something dirty or clever, depending on how you view it. In the background, on the down low, Manchin and the Biden team have been renegotiating Build Back Better. This is a big infrastructure spending bill that's been pared down by a ton. Now what it does is it increases the minimum tax that profitable corporations can pay. And it gives a bunch of credits for like electric vehicles, solar panels and shit like that. Like there's some green shit in it. Oh, and it's it's pretty energy agnostic which i barely understand but i guess like if coal or oil can meet the same

guidelines that solar can then it's cool as well right so gotcha cool um so anyway the republicans don't want this they don't want Democrats to have wins. So they're happy that Manchin sort of stopped this. I can't read that myself. But what they do want is this CHIPS bill. This CHIPS bill is a thing that I mentioned it earlier in the show. They're going to bring semiconductor construction into America. We'll have more semiconductors being made, which is causing a problem in all sorts of downstream things from cars to computers etc so the republicans and the democrats get together and agree to pass the chips bill and then the democrats surprise mansion has come around and agreed to this like

infrastructure thing which has a lot of energy stuff in it and they're like the fuck this now you're getting two things fuck you i didn't want this so they go to the house and they try to whip votes against the chipsville whipping means like calling people and trying to get them to vote no and uh or it could be yes but you know persuasion in the in the votes it doesn't work the democrats have too many votes and the chips thing happens it looks as if this infrastructure thing is going to happen. So the Republicans are like, we got to fuck these Democrats somehow. So they choose veterans who have smoke inhalation damage from burn pits. And that is why they voted for it.

Like 87 is close to right. Senators voted for this a few months ago. Now it comes around again with no changes to the bill. And the Republicans sank it. And it won't go through, it seems. And they did it because they didn't want Democrats to have three wins. So the people suffering in this thing is veterans who have burn pit lung damage and diseases and i'm like ah like this i don't know i thought it was really interesting the dirty shit that's

happening and the reasoning behind it and now i know why a bill that passed earlier is not passing this time that seems terrible that seems hard to believe it's so uh it's so shitty i'm i'm a little on the fence and you guys heard me say this in the hangout now i'm gonna say in a bigger public the idea the concept of like dude these veterans were forced or forced to put like jet fuel on human excrement and ammunition and who knows what else the fuck in a burn pit and supervise it while it burned and they're breathing in the most hazardous toxins that you can concoct and now they're hurt and sick who's against those people right who everyone's pro that guy let's help them out the trouble is like every veteran i know can it's part of the military

culture now to leave the military and extract as much money and benefits as you can possibly get it's why our military is the most expensive you hear like oh we spend more than the next 10 countries combined we could probably beat up the whole earth no you're spending it on like people who have uh who are getting disability for the rest of their lives. And just like in my little tiny universe, these guys are better off than most roofers, most carpenters. Yeah, there's no roofing bill for those guys. No one thanks them for their service. Roofers get broken

bodies from carrying shingles on their shoulder up was awful tans and again awful tans that's true um you know you go to a framer like they're all limping around they've got busted ankles every carpenter i know has eight and a half fingers and uh you know like but in the military, shit, you get half your pay until the day you die if you can convince them that your sprained ankle still hurts. And I don't know. Just a little. It's hard to be against these guys. On the other hand, you're like, Brad, it just seems like work in the system is part of military culture on your exit plan work in the system definitely is part of it because like on the other side it's like like friends i know in the military

like who were in the military like they had to fight really hard and be like yeah this is debilitating can't do anything with this and it's because like they do have a lot of problems that would preclude them from like having a normal nine to five because like they do have a lot of problems that would preclude them from like having a normal nine to five now like they don't like something like they just they don't your guys might be legit like this is a non-military example but it somehow seems relevant to me i know a guy who was a fireman in new york city right he was a new york city fireman and he got hurt on the job and he hurt his shoulder. So he gets full fireman pay for the rest of his

life. Holy shit. What a game. This is New York City fireman pay. How bad's the shoulder? Eight weeks later, he got a job as a smokejumper. What does that mean? Isn't that a firefighter who jumps out of an airplane to do it?

Yeah. So he leveled up. He became a more a firefighter who jumps out of an airplane to do it yeah yeah so he leveled up he became a more extreme firefighter yeah he became a like smoke a rocky mountain firefighters the guys with the shovels that like put the fires out yeah that's principally a lower body form of fighting everyone knows that you know they tend to their principal tactic is a firefighter yeah and how do you think they do it they kick dirt on it I bet some of them have like a backpack like spray nozzle thing

that changes walls a lot maybe a silencer on it I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about but I think when you fight a forest fire you make a band of non-flammable area and hope it doesn't cross it and I think that's a big part of his job. Sometimes you get to use a flamethrower.

Being a firefighter who's all about sneaking he's like, quiet! Don't let the fire know we're here! If it gets wind of us it's going to make a break across the thing. And there's a whole town on the other

side. That's not how you play this game! Yeah this game it's jason statham for some reason you're gonna sneak up on the fire but anyway yeah i so it's hard to be against on the way burn pits i get it i get it who's against burn pits but the most evil people and ted cruz and josh holly but a little part of me is like i just want to make sure that this spending goes towards people who deserve it. Yeah, that seems awful, that whole thing, because

I don't know, those guys just seem like they deserve some help because there are people that deserve help undoubtedly, but who are the people who don't deserve help i think that's a more fun conversation who's getting helped right now who shouldn't be are pedophiles getting help they shouldn't get help they deserve all the help they can get if it's mental help like if we're if we're like

putting just gonna make them smarter rapists man that can't be true yeah they're gonna learn all the tricks of the the trade all right and have a binder full of pokemon cards okay well we cut the pedophiles off well i i you got me we cut off the pedophiles who else uh uh you know let's try and think try and think of the group that's not about abusing children that's fine not about abusing children i feel like uh we need to do something different with like how road contracts are issued out those guys just aren't getting it done out there i i'm so sick and tired of being in traffic every day.

No urgency. The orange cones are turning pale! It's been out there so long! So oftentimes the first part of a job is to widen the highway, right? We've got a highway now. We need the part next to it to be flat also. Why does that take so long?

Hire 13 companies. Have them all do one or two miles. It'll be done in a jiffy. Instead, it's just one guy for five years. It'd be so great if they did it the woody way and they all use different concrete and asphalt. Every two miles, you have one of the... The road does this.

It's either a ramp or just a wall. I would take that over what we have now which is 11 years of construction you know what a good solution and this actually ties into your military thing too we could do what the ancient romans did so the auxiliaries in ancient rome the soldiers when they weren't fighting they didn't just go back and like train they were on road duty and so the roads in rome got built pretty quickly because they would be like hey these two legions they're no longer fighting fucking persia back to rome build a

road all the way to carthage or whatever and then they just have soldiers building roads in there can't you see it in the army national god you can he's got the shovel yeah wiping his brown vest some like the kid who like decided to go to school's driving pass in a convertible like throwing a drink can while you show dirt in the army that's what they should be doing they should be i swear to god that's what he's doing everyone everyone including oh that's how you the people who are on on like medical, what do they call it? Like retirement. Oh, how disabled are they?

Can they still operate a shovel? Get them out there. Oh, you can't use the shovel? Now you're the guy who waves traffic. How about this? You make them come out there. You throw a shovel at them. Surprise.

They catch the shovel. They're digging. Oh, shovel duty. If they get hit by the shovel they can go home they get a purple boot they get a purple heart a purple timberland damn it i wounded his toe now he's gonna make six grand a month but no like the military people i know like had like If they hadn't made a stink, it would have got nothing. Could we get the Air Force

some sort of bombs that drop water? Could we have the fighter planes just shooting ice bullets maybe? You're making a lot of sense. This is so cool. Ice bullets would be cool. Yeah, there is no more effective way to fight fire than ice

bullets. The super-hitted steam seems to be upsetting the fire. Driving it into a further range. No, you wouldn't use traditional firearms to launch the ice projectiles. You'd want some sort of an air cannon or pneumatic system. It's important to put a lot of velocity on the water before you shoot it. I want to hit that fire so goddamn hard. Have you seen those helicopters that

have those big basins? I think it's in Australia or maybe it's LA where during the wildfires they're allowed to get water from anywhere. They come down, they steal the whole pool and then fly away. That's kind of cool. Yeah, that's really cool. I'd be kind of cool yeah that's really cool and then like i'm kind of

pissed though at getting getting water in your swimming pool and the outback is probably difficult i'm hoping they're using that water on you like yeah like oh are you mad we took the water from your pool we're saving your house no nah mate we're downwind. Just stealing water. Most expensive, low payoff heist. Who the hell? Who got a fucking Chinook taking water from pools? Trying to sneak up and steal someone's pool water. Their entire house is shaking from your stealth helicopter.

Have you guys ever seen competitive firefighter drills yeah oh my god they're impressive when they get dressed not they do everything about the ladder stuff they time everything hose hookups and like like they do this thing where they you know undo the fire uh hydrant and hook a hose to it like they that's and they're like a like a bull uh uh fighter or something you probably like a 13 foot ladder to go up a few stories that they also do one where they get their gear on as fast as they can because my buddies who were volunteer firemen in our county which i always thought was like fucking lame as shit it was like

it was a good old boys club is what it was where we got to have barbecue and got to do cool shit and yeah we put out fires but it was mostly a good old boys club that comes along with ptsd my friend's dad had to shovel remains off the goddamn interstate for no pay get the fuck out of here you ever seen a teenage girl's face splattered on the interstate no No fucking thank you. I don't need those memories for our good old boy barbecue club sake. Anyway, they would do this shit where they got geared up, and there was this risky maneuver with getting your boots on, right?

You all can imagine how you put boots on really fast. You'd probably sit down and maybe even legs straight up in the air on your back and getting them on you can jump into them if you can jump and land into those boots you gotta point your toes and you gotta go that was the risky

maneuver that was the scariest thing that was the scariest thing they did it for time and they competed over it I wonder if they're getting into size like 18 boots Yeah, that was the scariest thing. Yeah, yeah. They did it for time and they competed over it. I wonder if they're getting into size like 18 boots. Oh, for the drill itself?

If I was competing, all my shit would be huge. There'd be regulations. It'd be like, Woody, you don't need a triple X coat. But it goes on quick. They'd make you do some firefighting in it as a punishment or something. They used to do this cool drill. They do this firefighting in it as a punishment or something. You know, I'm watching one of these competitions. They do this cool drill once a year where they put out, I think, I think the thing that they would practice and learn to do was if one of those home propane tanks, you know, the big ones that people have beside their homes. Sure, sure. If the cap comes off that and catches fire, then it starts erupting this enormous candle-like fireball up the top,

this really tall, and I mean 50, 75 feet, and it puts off a huge amount of heat. You can feel it from a distance, and so they practice doing that. They hook a hose from a gas truck up to the tank so they could, now they have a cutoff valve and then they light it up and they send that huge uh fireball up and then they line up like stacked up like a SWAT team with like a shield in the front and they've got the fire uh hydrant or the fire hose going with the wide dispersion kind of thing and they get close and they cap it off and they practice that big drill that's all they ever do that's that it. That's the one drill they do. That's all I ever saw them do ever.

Other than that, they cook barbecue every weekend and they put out fires and they get drunk. And they act like they're superheroes with their radios in their fucking house, their CDs or whatever. Well, they're in a good spot.

They get to be the public hero and there is zero pushback on firefighters like cops like no one no one out there has like a snarky anti-firefighter bumper sticker not one person in the country like it's i guess not i feel like they're raking it in in those big cities but but i feel like like like my firefighters like like where i from where i grew up are exactly what i described it's a good old boys club and they're not they're not robbing us blind because we pay them with donations.

They come house to house, hat in hand, and say, excuse me, sir, we might have to put your house out someday. It'd be nice to think back and remember that you were generous on this day. I'm like, what are you, the mob? You know it'd be a shame if maybe your house caught fire in these hot dry times like it could happen to anyone and no one could conceivably be blamed this is a long time ago before youtube but the i think it was the emt or the fireman that came around now in my area they were paid right they were paid with our taxes and i had just paid like my tax bill and i could

when you pay it in my area it comes with this breakdown like this much goes towards police this much goes towards firemen this much goes towards emt i paid that then the next day the emts come around with like hat in hand like hey can we have more money and i'm like you realize we just paid our taxes in this like i just paid you already and he goes all right well just saying I'll be there if you need me. And I'm like, fuck. Wait a goddamn minute. Hang on.

Well, I was already there when you needed me. Like, the reason you're getting paid right now on my doorstep, no flames in sight, is because I paid my taxes yesterday. Fuck you. Like that. I would not care for that one bit. It doesn't matter what you care for unless you're going to start a whole new campaign and a political movement and run for office.

You give that man $25. That's what it takes. I'll invest my entire life in becoming a public official. You just make sure that son of a bitch hustles when your house is on fire or your heart's not working. Because what he said was, I'll be there for you. What I heard was, I might be there for you.

I'm not sure about this lack of donation. No, we always gave them whatever. And when they came to my house for money, the same thing. I gave them, I don't know, 50 bucks, I think. Maybe 100. Sounds high to me, but maybe I'm cheap. They know who, they knew me. I don't know.

If you're in a huge city or something and they come around, I'd be like, fuck off. But when it's like, oh yeah, how's your dad? Yeah, well, yeah, I'm living here now. Yeah, right here. So if you hear it on the on the thing just know that's me that's me come come put my shit out please and hey i'm upstairs by the way i'll be passed out get me first then the girl i can read the dogs then the girl then the tv then the girl yeah yeah so so i would give them whatever i don't know i't know. I can remember my dad giving them, I don't know,

not more than $100, but he'd always give them money too. I didn't know they went to people's houses. I've never seen an EMT going around people's houses. Not EMT, the firefighters, but they may be the same house or something. Like the same facility. Sometimes firefighters are your EMT. In my case, they are. They're separate.

Yeah. In Apex. It's not. One of the things we did have was a really nice fire department because a twister came back in like 99 or 2000 and wiped the fire station out like it was one of those what they just comes down for a second and it's almost like the finger of god went boop like on the earth it didn't make this long trail like in a movie it came down destroyed the fucking fire department and bounced it was almost unbelievable it was almost like all right there's a there's a tornado warning blow it up and they like hit one of those cartoon tnt blocks or something because one building destroyed i didn't see a

fucking tornado but in any case it was destroyed and they got this brand new slick ass uh uh fire department with like i don't know it looks nice for such a small town royston georgia fire departments i i don't know the details but i'll tell you with their equipment they take good care of that shit yeah i see a job to it seems fire trucks to me as far as my dumb ass can tell haven't evolved very much during my lifetime so i see a regular new looking fire truck and i was talking about fireman a while back it's like yeah that thing's from like 1998 like fuck that's a 24 year old truck and it looks perfect yeah because you wax it every day all that chrome i could i could shave in this thing yeah it's a timeless design. It seems like

it's their job. It seems like most of the time being a fireman is spent either and this is in my imagination eating chili and cooking chili sleeping, cleaning and waxing the truck and last

and by far the least amount of time is spent actually fighting fires. You forgot drinking in the firehouse? Some firemen do the EMT calls. I think that's a big deal. But I would like doing the EMT stuff. I think that's a fun job. Oh, but you'd see some really gruesome terrible things you

know i just i like being there on their bad day dead children the kind of emt that interfaces with me is the kind i want to be like oh look what happened your legs fucked up you know what we're going to get you to the people that you need to see and and like that kind of emt work i would really like the kind you're talking about. If you can pick and choose. All right, we got two calls. All right, what are they? We got a 70-year-old couple.

The wife burned alive while the husband watched. He needs to be driven home. And we got a guy who was mountain biking. Compound fracture. Somebody's got to climb up that tree there. And we've got a... Now you're going to be able to hoist him down, so you've got to be pretty yoked

too. We need to get guys like that out there. And Woody's like, oh, please. No, Woody, get out there. Mr. Otis is crying. He needs some consolation. Wait, we're getting another call? There's a 19-year-old ethot dying of terminal horniness. Would you rather take that? Woody's a 19 year old ethot dying of terminal horniness. Would you rather take that?

But he's like, I got it. Is there a fire? Yes, but it's controlled making marshmallows that'll be offered to you. Marshmallows. Dessert fondue. Taylor, have you been smoking

moots? Smoking meats, I mean to say. Smoking moots. I'm smoking meats. I don't know where that came from. I made a, this past weekend, we did ribs again. We made baby back ribs and they were the best ribs that have ever turned out. Well, we've only done ribs twice. I mean, are you dropping like $60 on food?

No, no. That's a great part of it. It's like ribs as a cut of meat are cheap as shit. Like compared to like something you would, like a steak you would grill uh baby back ribs i that we've done spare ribs how much how much money i mean let's say we're having i don't know i want a whole rack of ribs what's that gonna run me i don't know my wife went to the storm god damn it but i know it's not expensive compared to like good quality cuts okay three pounds uh like like good steak is like 18 a pound so yeah see so it's way way cheaper and like the meat is cheap it you have

to like prep ribs because it's like cheaper meat you have to like cut that that film off the back so that it like tenders up real nice and then like what like pulled pork like a pork shoulder a pork butt that's like three bucks a pound if that probably less even now with meat being ridiculous i just bought a three pound like butt roast and did a pot roast a couple days ago and it was like eight dollars or something they're so cheap i love a nice pot roast but yeah i'm still i'm still smoking a lot of meat and every time you smoke meat it's like meat for a couple days because you make it in large quantities and it's great like i know if kohen kyle gets one eventually he's not going to be on the rib grind but you should at least try it out

try making some pulled pork some brisket well you could have brisket and chicken that's in your diet but like do you even like ribs are you not a big ribs guy i love ribs they're just you know it's it's really fatty and and i i do have that good barbecue sauce i should probably like plug ribs into uh chronometer and see just how bad it is um like i don't know like like like i don't know maybe i could eat six ribs i don't have to eat a whole goddamn rack but um more more what i would probably do is brisket like you said would be delicious that's lean and i could do um chicken of course like whole smoked chickens and then shred the chicken and make whatever i want with it then i could take that and like add

that sugar-free barbecue sauce to it and have some really tasty chicken i'm sure i did that i used the g hughes when i was like in the last hour you paint on the barbecue sauce and i i like did two sauces on different sides because i wanted to try it and see what i liked more but i on the bigger side i did the g hughes and sometimes those like zero cal or low calorie ones like they don't cook right they get like fucking weird it won't caramelize because there's no sugar in it yeah it's it doesn't caramelize but it like tightens up on it and like gives you all the flavor It worked great. I was worried. I was like, is this going to fuck up? It condenses down to a thicker, stickier sauce.

That's one of the things you definitely want with ribs. For sure. Because it doesn't have that sugar content, it's not going to caramelize at the end. Okay, let's calm down. We're already eating a fat stick. Do we need sugar melted on top of it? Probably not. You do put brown sugar on ribs

to like like but what you don't do what we use is the the truvia or like the stevia brown sugar oh that's so good and it is like so i sprinkled a good bit of that on the ribs alcohols so it's it tasted good so here's the problem with that i think i've talked about this before i don't get gas from anything unless i eat that sugar alcohol stuff like something and i've googled it to like find out and they're like some percentage of people their gut biome turns that shit to like 80 metric liters of fucking methane apparently because if i i used to like to make stir fry and i would use a ton of that fake brown sugar because it's like 50 calories you're adding and it becomes an amazing like real stir fry that seems like it's full fat but it's not it's it's just delicious grilled chicken and

vegetables i would fart continue i couldn't be around people if i knew i was going to be around people the next day i couldn't have it i couldn't have it and i would take like pills preemptively they don't help like anti-gas pills it's so gross that i stopped using it i was like i don't want to be that nasty all the time it's so gross that sucks because it tastes just like regular brown sugar. And I haven't had that effect from it, so I must be one of the lucky majority. Halo Top ice cream is that really good. I think it's pretty good. Also sugar alcohol. Oh, and that fucks with you too?

Same thing. Same thing. It's also like those because I used to more often get like and just eat a whole pint of those things because they're like 200 and something calories for the whole pint. It's barely worse for you than a scoop of fucking protein. Yeah. Like literally it's just ice cream made from protein powder effectively and it's good. Like if you look at the back, the amount of fiber

in it is unreal. Like if you just sit and eat a pint, that's like 50% of your daily fiber. What's your favorite flavor of Halo Top? Cookie dough. I do not like the cookie dough it has this weird texture that it leaves on my tongue but i fucking love the peanut butter cup or whatever it is because in there is a big glob of fucking it tastes like real peanut butter and the whole pint is 300 and it's like 300 calories maybe 330 and it's like how many grams of protein

like 15 maybe like i guess it's almost all have like 20 like yeah it's great it's like protein powder there yes i really like those i'm gonna get some more maybe i might run to the store and get they're tremendous right after this sounds good yeah can we talk about this sweaty palms video i found before i closed sure I don't know what that is. Oh, shit. So this guy's doing a trick called a twisty twist. It's pretty cool. I can't do it yet.

It plays actually. It doesn't look like he can either. He gets gift wrapped, which is to say he falls in his own wing. It's a tough situation. So he throws his reserve, but it doesn't work. He's fucked. He's low, too. There's his reserve.

He's not doing shit. How high do you think he is? 1,500? 2,000? No, I think he's less than 1,000 at this point. Oh, at this point oh my god he throws his second reserve and his second reserve doesn't work it's it's anything called oh my god he's so low he manually pulls his diaper off oh he's right there so i don't know this guy but we have a friend in common my friend was talking to him.

His family was there watching everything happen. His wife and kids watched him dream her down like that, save his own life. Wow. It's pretty cool. I've watched people in that situation a bunch of times. And that guy was a boss. Shit went wrong, and he just continues like working the problem working the problem what's my what's the ooda loop observe orient decide and action something like that and uh that was just what he'd do like all right

observe orient decide action well that didn't fucking work what's next orient decide action or decide i probably fucked that up but it's mostly right he stayed this guy was working the problem the whole way through he never grabbed the they're called risers the things and just scream like a passenger he was a pilot a crashing pilot but he wasn't he was the pilot in command all the way down trying to save his own life which he did i've watched so many people in like siv courses and shit just scream as they spin and spin and uh i like this guy he's a boss he fixed his problem that's what i was gonna say that's what i took from it as well his hands were moving and i don't know what he's doing but i'm sure you're like oh yeah he's reaching for the jimmy he's going for the jimmy lever oh he's getting it good oh he gave it a

twirly pete oh he quickly identified he was in a reserve situation tossed it and then when that didn't sometimes they take a second to deploy usually not when he gave up on that which should give enough time he threw a second reserve you don't want two reserves out so you don't just throw both and hope one of them works or something. When they both out, they both go to the side and they slide sideways through the air. A reserve straight over you works really well. If you can imagine

one reserve to the side, how it might slide through the air, both of them do that together and you don't have good reserves. So he gave up on the first reserve at an appropriate time through the second and it didn't work. And then he just starts taking it out of the bag. It's called a diaper. And he manually deployed his own reserve.

Oh, he's gone deep into the diaper, boy. Stack it full. Stack it full of this jump. So anyway, that guy's a boss. I'm sure his wife and maybe kids are not loving that day but he's okay you see that they're gonna remember it forever you see the video of the guy running up in the in the gas station with an ar-15 and being like give me all the money and the old man blows his arm off with a shotgun and then they switch the outdoors cam and the guy's running back. He goes, he blew my arm off! Just go!

And they almost leave him. He put it in that. It's fucking great. Jesus Christ. Send that one if you have it. I'm sure it's on like I don't know what subreddit, but I'll find it. It's awesome. You guys ready to wrap? Yeah, I think so. I gotta eat.

I'm gonna go get some Halo time. Alright, PKN 450.