Painkiller Already - PKN #42

Episode Date: June 11, 2015

In this weeks episode of PKN, the guys discuss Game of Thrones, Woody possibly getting a new dog and independence!

Ember Live, Painkiller Nearly, episode 42. Hey, Mirka! Hey! Alright, let's do this. So yeah, I was just, uh... One thing I said is, I was thinking about it earlier today, this will be the first episode live that the new Patreons have seen, right? People subscribe for it. So we need to be awesome. Oh. Yeah. Well. No pressure. Tell your story. You saw, who was it?

Yeah, I saw my cousin i saw my cousin uh today and he was telling me a story um he said he caught up with an old high school friend in a bar and uh and he didn't notice it at first but this guy has worse teeth than jeremy they're talking and the guy goes hey kind of like that you know a smiling laugh uh-huh and and he sees them they're really really fucked up and just as he's noticing part of this tooth, like one of the main front ones, like if you're Bugs Bunny, your main two front teeth in the center, the front of one of those, a piece of it, falls off and sticks to the guy's lip. Oh, wow. Like a big chunk, he said. Like it's stuck there.

And the guy keeps talking and it's just like on his lip like like bouncing and it won't go away it's just stuck and he's just focused on it and he i was like what'd you do what'd you say he's like i didn't see shit i was so embarrassed i started getting hot flashes i turned red i was sweating he was like i just had to get out of there he's like i just like he turned around to pay for his beer, and I left. He was like, that was the most embarrassing thing for me. And I was just thinking, like, that would be awful if your teeth are falling apart, like, while you're using them. Like, I know Tucker had that thing where, like, his cap fell off.

That's different. That's some dental repairs required. This guy, a piece of this guy's living tissue is the front of it i picture it to be a veneer came off no they were rotten like if these were years they were rotten veneers you know what i mean like they were his teeth were rotten and a piece of it chipped off and fell onto his lip so i thought that was pretty funny scott scott's always got some good stories watch a zombie right in real time yeah he had all kind of trouble with his work i don't know if that's an interesting subject you know scott yeah so he is you know why i want it but before i hear about his interesting trouble with his work i was saying he shouldn't

blow all his future income on a really high-end Ford. He bought a really nice truck. And you were like, I don't know. It's kind of got it lined up. It's all perfect. You know, he's employed for like nine months. Then he hits unemployment and then he cycles back and forth. And he's got it.

He's set for life. He's building, is it a nuclear power plant? Yes. And I exaggerated life, but set for five years or whatever, you know, for a long time. And now, was I wrong? What's going on? So here's what happened. It's not that complicated, I suppose. So he was working on a piece at the nuclear power plant, and he's like top tier of importance level tasks are assigned to him. So if he's doing something, it's important. He's often like up on the cooling towers.

He's had to crawl into like the steam tunnels where you've just got to like go like, you know, shimmy through a small tunnel and weld up in those. He does the important stuff. And he was working on one of these important pieces. And his boss says, hey, stop doing what you're doing. We've got a really important thing over here on this cooling vent or whatever. So they take him off his job, put him on this other one and a day or so goes by. And so someone makes a paperwork mistake and instead of realizing that the thing that Scott had been working on wasn't finished and it wasn't

meant to be finished, they stamped it as done. They basically made it seem like Scott was done with that piece and it could be quality inspected. So the quality inspectors come in, they see that the job is terrible and revoke Scott's license. No! Yeah. And the company he works for doesn't have his back.

Even worse, they say, hey, don't worry about this. There's a requalification test you can take. All you got to do is an I-beam weld, get you certified right back up, and then we'll get you out to this job. So he shows up for that job and he says, I'm here to do the job. First, I have to take the I-beam test, though, to get certified again. So they say, actually, you're showing all green. Go ahead and do the job. So they put him on this job for like a week or two he does all the work at the end of it when it's time to pay him they say actually you're not certified so they rip him off for all of his time and and and effort so he goes to the union the union doesn't like any of this they will come up with a new company it's going to be like a

seven dollar an hour rates nice to like forty dollars an hour plus benefits uh... they did their they're gonna put twenty percent of his uh... income into a four one k without and it's not a match they just put in twenty percent mean uh... full like dental medical and what you didn't have before and it's it's the same job you know it's multiple companies he still working on nuclear power plant it's still same job. You know, it's multiple companies. He's still working on a nuclear power plant.

It's still a five-year deal. And he has the option, though, to go to Texas and Canada now to do, like, pipeline welding, where apparently if you have a truck, they pay $35 an hour to your truck for being involved with the job. So he's got a truck, so he would just drive up to Canada. How wrong was I? I was like, I don't know if he should buy that truck because, you know, he doesn't have job security. No, his truck is literally making 70 grand a year being truckie. I told him, I was like, that's a lot for a truck.

I was like, if you're a guy without a truck, you're fucked in that business, huh? He's like, oh, there's guys who will go rent a truck and just put their welder on it and take it to the job just because it's going to even out more make them a whole lot more money than otherwise because they needed transportation anyway and uh so yeah it's worked out nicely for him but but like right now like as it sits today you know he's unemployed because he's waiting to go between get on with it but he's already signed his contract and it's a union thing which i feel like is much more stable and uh you know if they say they're going to do a thing they do a thing whereas it seems like especially like i don't know that i don't know about the nuclear i don't know that other company

seemed really shitty they were intentionally fucking him over it seemed i don't understand their motivation and it makes me like so i don't here's the deal when i live in the northeast for international people the northeast of america unions are strong also in the Northeast, for international people, the Northeast of America, unions are strong, also in the Detroit area. And the rest of America, unions are really weak and they tend to hate unions and all these other places. So Colin, can you shut the door? Cause mom's doing dishes. And so when I lived where the unions were, I didn't like unions. I kept seeing them defend people who didn't deserve to be defended. My favorite example was this guy drove like trains. He's an engineer, I guess, like a train engineer. And it was like a train slash subway type thing in Philadelphia.

It went up and down and about. Anyway, there's a section that's like an L or something, like elevated. And I hope I have my facts right. The motor fell out of the train. And the motor is hitting the vertical supports for the track. Clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. This guy was so high. He didn't notice that a train engine was hanging from the train,

hitting the supports. And he crashed the train and people got really hurt they might i think some people died and the whole you know driving the train high on cocaine that's what this guy did man and the union they had his back and as a person perhaps a train passenger you're like really there have to be situations where you don't have their back. There have to be situations where you think someone should be fired. Like, yes, this guy who killed many people, this guy who is high on the job,

and his job is to slow down the damn train. You can't be high for that. It makes you hate unions. And then you get down here where I don't even know if there's any union jobs. If there are, I don't know of them. Not many. Yeah. And I see what happens without them.

You know, there's income disparity, people being treated poorly, and lots of people hired who aren't Americans in jobs you wouldn't think they'd get. And meaning like government jobs and stuff that's, you know, just through a contractor. And now all of a sudden you have illegal immigrants working for the government, you know, one step removed. And, and it's just like, hi, you know, if unions were here and they were strong, they would make sure that that didn't happen. And it just seems like I like whatever I don't have.

Yeah. I could see the benefits and the shortfalls to unions. They have both. You know, you've got people ripping off pensions, too. I mean, there's all kinds of crazy stuff that could happen. But anyway, did you see Bruce Jenner's cover on Vanity Fair? Caitlyn Jenner now he prefers to be known as. Or she prefers to be known as. I want to say she looks hotter now than she did before.

Yeah, oh absolutely. She looks like a woman now, like completely. I saw Stern took the photos and showed them all around town and like every man that saw them thought she was an attractive woman and wanted to have sex with her. Yeah, she's got a strong jawbone. I like her. I'd hit it.

Yeah, they did a really good job with that. That's impressive. I think they cut off his dick, too. I'm pretty sure. The funniest part of this is Howard Stern did a bit in 1987 about, I think it's about Bruce Jenner getting a sex change and changing his name to Caitlin. No way. I'm like 90% sure

because I was listening to it today but I just heard the back end of it. Hmm. I'm nearly, not nearly done Game of Thrones. I'll check. I've got it in my pocket. I keep giving these status updates. It's always not remarkable but steadily moving.

I have 14 hours left. So, 14 Not remarkable, but steadily moving. I have... 14 hours left. So, 14 hours. Tomorrow I'll take Hope to school. It'll be 13. We might go to Apex and take it down to 12. I'm closing in. I'm going to get back on the audiobooks when I finish

the season of the show. I think I'll prefer that more. What do you think of the latest episode? It was good, and it had to be. Hang on, so we don't spoil for anyone. We're talking about season 5, episode 8. So, if you don't want to hear spoilers for that,

now is the time to skip ahead. Jump forward a bit. Best episode of the year? Yes, best episode of the year. Was the previous one the one with the sand snake girls fighting no there was two episodes ago that was two episodes ago the last episode was definitely stronger than the sand snake episode but not as strong as this episode this episode was great stuff happened yeah yeah stuff happened this show i guess we're gonna spoil the hell out of it right

the last 20 minutes was a fight scene john snow's going to round up wildlings and add them to sort of his army his posse have them fight against the others the white walkers is the white walkers and the walkers are those the two varieties i think i've heard them called the white zombie things the dead men, but anything with white in there, I think they're, and the others, I think they're talking about the white walkers. Okay. So the white walkers are these blue eyed sort of zombies, but more powerful than regular zombies. I don't think they're zombies. They're not, they definitely, they're not, you're right. They're like, they're ice creatures thank

you thank you i shouldn't have called them zombies they're they're they they turn babies into ice creatures you know they're magical ice men they're magical ice men i don't know if you remember but there's a scene from a season or two ago where the baby came and he sort of waves his hand over the babies his eyes turn blue and now you know where they come from they're not dead they're magical that was the guy with the he sort of has like horns on his head like, but they're in the shape of a crown. I think that was the same guy who did that to the baby. It's been a couple

of years though. So he took all of his, I'll call them zombies, but they might be called something else. And for all intents and purposes, they're magic zombies. Yeah, that works. And they're the aggressive, fast moving, they're magic zombies. Yeah, that works. And they're the aggressive, fast-moving, running variety of zombies. Yeah, but not plague zombies.

So if they were to bite you a little, I think you're all good. I think you're right. I hadn't thought about that distinction. Yeah, they have to kill you. And then once you die, you come back as a zombie. So that's good they're not plague zombies. I hadn't thought about that. And anyway, there was a big battle scene

and it was really well done. It was comparable to that. What was the battle scene with the boats? Battle of Blackwater Bay. I think you're thinking back and painting in the details with what you remember from the book because I felt like they really cut away a lot on Blackwater

Bay and most of it seemed to be characters' reactions. And when I think back on it, I think about ships exploding and people burning, but they really didn't show anything. Really? I think that if you really go back and watch, like you see some green fireballs,

but just kind of like three seconds of it. And then it's all like character reactions. I think the best battle yet has been you know defending the wall last season um when all fins came over the wall and egret got shot and well i think this one rivals that one yeah i think so too i think i think it's good that we finally got to engage with the white walkers and yes like yeah they're in the books there's the whole fist of the first men battle but i just can't even remember that being in the shows. If it was, then they really downplayed it. But that was the first big battle in the books with the White Walkers and the dead men. But this is the first big one that I can remember. much um he finds like five wildlings maybe four dead ones in addition to that and a giant and when he's like you should come with us they're all like yeah i am hungry and that's it no battle

no nothing no greatness no epicness now i've watched a behind the scenes where they talked about this episode and they said that they made a reference to this battle that we just watched but i didn't catch it because i'm usually driving or something they're distracted so um so yeah that it's definitely not detailed what we just saw is i want to say it's not in the books because they referred to it but we don't hear it like that they still they told bits of the story um in it with an action scene then they that they could have told maybe in a library. Like, we learned that Valyrian steel totally kills White Walkers and, you know, it doesn't get shattered

by their ice weapons like normal steel does. Also, now, I'm one of those in-the-books assholes now, but in the books, the White Walkers, I think they're called, really have a hard time with fire. That's the thing. You want to hit them with fire weapons,ches fire swords stuff like that um but in the battle scene we just saw

the guy was in a burning building and didn't seem to give a damn i thought it was the dead men who struggle with the fire because they're because i remember that's what john snow burnt that time um i i think the white Walkers do. But I mean, look, I'm wrong all the time. But I thought they really struggled with fire. And in the book, they really detail how some of the people have fire swords. Stannis has a fire-related sword, right? There's a couple characters in the book who have fire-related magic swords.

But in the show, they don't really show magic swords too much. Yeah, they don't. It's a shame. They just mention Valyrian steel, and it makes you think it's sharper or something, but they don't really talk about it being magic. Yeah, it's got blood magic woven into it. Yeah.

It's folded thousands of times. Right. There's magic in the wall. There's magic in some of these castles that make them stand up against the water, and all the magic is kind of sucked out of out of um yeah the direwolves too all right you get what you get i uh i i was really happy this episode i thought it was the strongest yet one thing i don't know if you picked out remember when cersei is uh is visited by uh her

um her her maester friend that she had kind of propped up at one time as arch major maester um the last thing he says to her do you remember what he says the work continues he's working on the mountain he's still frankensteining him back to life down in that dungeon oh yeah so you've got a very angry cersei and her like gigantic warrior friend is being mutated by this scary maester somewhere. I really hope there's a big showdown soon where Wait, why is the mountain Cersei? Oh, Cersei.

You're saying Cersei all this time and I'm putting Sansa in its place. Yeah. Yeah, the mountain. That's going to be a really big face-off because there's too many people arrested in king's landing that are major characters you can't arrest the tyrells and cersei lannister it's not gonna work i feel like the queen of thorns she's going back to uh um

the tyrell lands to to to raise up an army and bring back i feel like little fingers running back to the veil to get the knights of the veil to come down to King's Landing because they haven't done shit since the whole war began. And I think they're going to show up in the nick of time. There's no way these religious people are going to kill Cersei and the Tyrells, but I bet they do kill Cersei because I bet whenever the Tyrells and Littlefinger come in and rescue the day, they're like, no, you can take her head. And I bet there's a moment like that. I'm hoping so anyway.

And I'm hoping the mountain makes his appearance at some point. And I'm hoping that Stoneheart, is that what she's called? Yeah. At some point is worked in. I also want Bran to show up with magic and children of the forest and kill Ramsey. But that seems like a long shot. up with magic and children of the forest and kill Ramsey, but that seems like a long shot. I'm, uh...

I'm... What did I say? I was 14 hours left in the book? 14, maybe? Good stuff is starting to happen in the book. I'm right sort of even, book and show. Like, right now. Of course, they don't happen in perfect thing, but I'm seeing

what happens to Sansa's character next now sansa's not in the castle sansa's not in winterfell at all in the book but uh her replacement is and like i'm i'm seeing how that goes down i uh we'll learn a bunch soon yeah i'm looking forward to that my daughter hates listening to game of thr Thrones in the car. Hates it. Hates it. Yes, exactly. If you were on your game, you'd be driving in 15 days. That's right. You get what you get.

Every day she gets the reminder. No complaining. It's all her fault. Yeah. The whole thing is ridiculous. I can't believe that. What was the other thing? Oh, Fallout.

So Fallout 4 has been long, long, long awaited by everyone who's a Fallout fan, I think. Is my mic clicking for you? I can't tell if it's my headset or my mic. Hopefully it's my headset. Carry on. I don't hear any clicking. Okay. But it seems that Bethesda tweeted out the waiting thing,

the little screensaver thing that pops up during loading screens. And I guess their website has a countdown going on it. The end's in like 14 hours from now, which is like, I'm not really sure, but like noon tomorrow or something like that. And I

guess everyone's speculating that information is going to be released then. I hear a lot of people discussing what engine the thing's going to be built on. It's definitely going to be, I think they've got an in-house engine that they've already got. They think they're going to use a 64-bit version of that. And I guess I'm excited about the thing. Right now, Civilization is really owning my life but if i got a new gaming pc and i've started playing fallout and got all the got lots of mods on there i could really really put some time into fallout 4 that would be nice the thing is fallout 4 is wait fallout 4 is the

next one the next one okay so you're talking about brand new now i i i thought you were suggesting you're going to play fallout like three pretty much or vegas or whatever to sort of get your fallout game back on but that's not what you're saying no no i'm it's that i pick up pretty fast fallout mechanics are so to be honest fallout mechanics are so bad and clunky that that's why they put the whole vat system in there where you like zero in on the enemy and stuff like that. Like ADS and really the first person shooter part of Fallout sucks. It's hard to do and it's really clunky. I'm hoping they fix that in the next game.

That'd be kind of a nice improvement. But I don't want to play the old ones I'm looking for the new one and whenever that comes out I'm gonna I'm gonna enjoy that huh so we went to Joe's wedding yeah that was fun we we flew up to Boston the day before watch watch Mad Max yeah did we watch that the day before the morning before the wedding yeah yeah yeah yeah the day of yeah. Did we watch that the day before? The morning before the wedding. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, the day of.

Yeah, yeah, before we actually had to go. That's right, yeah. You know, one of the things that stuck in my head was this. So you loved Mad Max, and Rotten Tomatoes has it as 98% fresh. So Mad Max is a huge hit. I thought it was good. Not great, but good. I thought it was a good movie. I think I thought about this, and I think I know why.

All of the storytelling, like 90% of the storytelling in Mad Max is done visually. There's not a lot of dialogue. Everything is in the center of the frame. Everything that you need to be looking at is in the center of the frame. So even with the hard cuts, it feels like it's flowing along. Usually when you're cutting, like in an action sequence, you keep the central focus the same so you don't notice the cuts as much, even if you're rotating around. But this doesn't do that. They're really rough cuts. I like it a lot,

but I think you've got to really focus on what's going on in the background and stuff, to really understand... The lizard thing, remember you didn't notice that the lizard had two heads? I felt like that was... To me that was like, oh, radiation. There's definitely some radiation here. So when I saw that guy had those tumors or goiters or whatever, and the lights, and their skin was really light,

but I feel like they're just painting themselves to make themselves look uniform and gruesome. But even when it washed off, they look really sickly. I think they had leukemia. Because that would make sense. It's a blood cancer from bone marrow. So a transfusion would help with leukemia. It would get you jacked back up. And they kept referring to a half-life. Like this guy's at the end of his half-life.

And to me, that means in the future, they're only living to 25, 30 years old, and then they're dead. So this guy's 23 years old or something, and he's an old man in this world, and he's dying because he's riddled with cancer. He's got leukemia, and he's living on the blood. Thank you. There was a bunch of little things you had. I couldn't keep track of that character's name until I realized his brake pedal said Nux. It had his name welded onto it. The whole V8 religion, I thought that was cool.

I liked it a lot. I liked the world building they had that was present there. I liked Immortan Joe and his son Rictus, the big pumped-up guy. I noticed that they're both breathing filtered air for some reason. I feel like the air is poison in this world. Maybe that's why they're older. Maybe. Maybe so. So yeah, I liked it a lot.

I think it's... I watched it twice. Yeah. I think it stood up to my second viewing. One of the things I thought was cool though is you were saying like, hey, there's not a lot of special effects in this. This movie is a lot of live action. And then I saw these still photos. You probably saw them too because they were on Reddit

of before and after the CGI. And it's like, whoa, there was a lot more CGI in this movie than I knew and I think more than you knew. Like maybe the center car is falling over, flopping or something. But there's 80 cars in this scene. I didn't realize all those other ones were CGI. I didn't realize how much of this was happening in like green screens and indoors. This is just happening indoors.

And it looks like they're in a desert. That whole scene where they were like at night stuck in the muddy sand. There's all color corrected i mean that that scene looked like daylight and and like in a desert and uh they like added like sort of a moon reflective like uh like a full moon night look to it so that movie which i still think has more um live action than you might expect, all the live action was supplemented with amazing CGI. What they're doing with CGI now is kind of cool. You don't even know it's CGI.

And sometimes unnecessary. Like the Wolf of Wall Street, you probably saw that video where they showed that they're just playing tennis in a prison. And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah. You don't realize that that whole thing is, like, CGI'd in, et cetera. And you look at the before and the after, and you're like, ah, six of one, half dozen in the other. They changed it amazingly and impressively, but I don't know why.

It's still just a tennis court. They achieved their vision, I guess. I bet it looked exactly like the storyboards. They were uncompromising in their vision and they spent millions to make it just like they wanted to when the impact, I think, was pretty

small oftentimes. You know what, CGI? I recently noticed that I'd never noticed before and it's like what you're talking about. I watched Inglourious Bastards because it's, again, the other night. And for anyone who hasn't seen it, it's on Netflix. Watch Inglourious Bastards. It's very, very, very, very good.

But then the beginning scene when the Jew hunter is going to Monsieur Lapidite's house to visit his beautiful daughters. In the background, you can see he's got his milk cows are back behind the Nazis milling around, and they're CGI milk cows. Really? Yeah. They're totally CGI milk cows.

And I was just like, really? They couldn't get some milk cows? I was going to say, I think I can get you some cows cheaper. Yeah. You go over there with $3,000 to Carl's dad's house, you get yourself two cows. What do you need? You just need a few Holsteins out there. It didn't make sense though, but I guess there was a reason. But yeah, CGI

cows. I thought that was cool. Oh, I have an update for the house tour video. Mine. I was thinking about it. So we're doing the Woody Craft team building event, which means that somewhere around June 20th, which is like 18 days as we record this, the house will be clean every place at once. Right. That's when the people are coming over. So I think then 18th, 20th, something like that is when we'll just shoot the video and give people a tour of the home. Now, how are you going to film this house tour? I picture.

So I have that Sony FS700. It's like a shoulder-mounted thing. And I like it because it autofocuses. So I was thinking of using that. I was thinking how funny it would be if you filmed some of it with the drone. And the drone flying around the house. That's awesome. Dude, some of the ceilings are like, I guess.

So high. Like 18, 20 feet tall. Like really tall. Yeah, that's a strong level. Yeah, you could get some up there. That's kind of cool. You got my mind spinning now. Like, should I get a drone for this?

I saw a, you know, a selfie stick. But this was a stabilizer selfie stick. but it was like $300 or $400. And I'm like, I don't know if I can justify a selfie stick that's that expensive, but it would look amazing. You think stabilizer, maybe not you, but most people will be like, ah, that's stupid, whatever. Camera shakes a little. It's a vlog. I don't care.

But when you see stabilized footage you know flying around you're like oh yeah i never knew that i had a problem until i see the solution it's like your brain it because the movement is natural it's like your brain finally matches up with what you're seeing visually on a level that it normally doesn't when the cameras shake you at all it's it's it's more like actually seeing something happen than it is like watching a video it feels more natural to your brain and to your you know to your eyes i suppose if that makes any sense yeah it looks better it i'm talking myself into it we'll see i need to take a breath see what is sometimes when i see things that are too expensive and maybe a bad idea well you know

maybe if this thing could be used for some Woody's Lab videos, then it would be a worthy investment. You've just got to touch it a little every day. That's all. Oh, fuck you. So did you touch your thing today? Yeah, yeah. I got in touch with the f***er guy.

I think I got that squared away. Or not. Ah, that's the thing we said. Oh we were oh no what are we gonna do now i didn't mean to say that can you bleep it yeah yeah i like that better yeah can you like block off my lips too they can't read my mouth i like that if that's possible Yeah it is because we don't record with XSplit anymore so we can edit footage. That's awesome. I want to keep that top secret until I got all my ducks in a row because I think it's a really fun idea and it's something that

all of the viewers are going to be able to enjoy, too, at their homes. So, like, I want to keep that top secret until it's time. So, sorry. My neighbor came over and they brought us dinner. They said they had been meaning to bring us dinner for quite some time. I think they're just being friendly neighbors or whatever. But while they were here, they mentioned they wanted us to sign a new, like, homeowners association covenant type thing. Now, I never signed the old one. I don't feel particularly bound to it. never signed the old one i don't feel

particularly bound to it but i might be i don't know what the deal is um i bought a home that was part of it but the thing is it expires in a few months so i was like ah covered not covered whatever it lasts until like i think july of 2015. so what's the big deal then there's no hoa at all of 2015. So what's the big deal? Then there's no HOA at all. And they're going to make a new one. And I have to figure out how I feel about it. If I want to sign it, if I want to put my foot down, I'm more than happy to join in with some of the stuff like road maintenance or whatever. But the restrictive parts like, you know, the what I can sell on my property or what I can do on my property. I want to, you know, not this part for me. You might want the ability to shoot guns or have a boat out in your yard

or something like that. Maybe build a shed or something like that. So the things you're, I don't think it covers, like it covers some of what I think of the more extreme things. Like you can't have swine, you can't have pigs, but you can have almost any other kind of livestock i don't know why um that was the only one i remember yeah i guess yeah they know a thing i'm not sure i think it oh it doesn't prevent you from dividing up the property but it prevents you from having houses smaller than such a size like every house on it

has to be like 2 000 square feet or something so like that's a part and then the length of it matters too because i'm pretty sure i'll be here in five years i think i'll be here in 10 years but i wouldn't want to sign anything that commits me beyond that um so i don't know it's a little piece of drama coming up in my life this hoa i bought this knowing that it was about to expire I didn't buy it knowing that they were about to ask me to sign the next one. So you should, you should take it and, uh, and make it and copy it, but alter it in the way you want and then sign that and then send it back and see if they notice the difference. That's companies have, I've had companies do that to me before. Oh yeah. Like, like we had agreed on payment or whatever. And then they send me like a, they're like, Oh yeah. Okay, well we agree on all those numbers,

we'll just send over the contract, and you read the fine print, and it's like, no, you're trying to fuck me! Like you're just constantly playing a game where you're trying to fuck me. Like no, you altered what we just said and sent it to me like I was gonna sign it and fax it back,

and you were gonna, aha, gotcha! I hate that, and it's super common. And now, I don't do it tricky, but I will totally cross out and redo contract. If there's a part I don't understand, I used to be like, well, maybe I'm not smart enough to read this contract. No, fuck that. If there's a part you don't understand, that was intentional. I used to work with, fuck, I don't remember the company's name anymore.

It might have started with a G and it's not Gamma Labs. But they. Gunner Optics? optics no but they suck too um what this company did is they partnered with someone else and they had like dedicated servers for console gamers so we even played like some of the call the community or stuff like that and and pretty much one of the players would be a bot and everyone would be and he would be host he'd pull hosts yeah and that way the host was like in a data center with a quality connection and a good upload and you know everyone had a good connection to him because he was you know

it wasn't like some random guy's walmart connection server for console exactly so um um i had to make like a video using their stuff and such and i didn't understand the contract so i signed it and sent it back in because i was new to this and uh afterwards they're like no no no you have to do this this and that to get paid you know the full amount and i'm like oh okay and then i did it and they're like no no no like that'll just get you this we have to do this and this and I'm like I don't know about this and then like the third time perfect nailed it everything they possibly asked for and they're like come on Woody and we have to pay the whole thing I'm like yes you have to pay me I did my part you do your

part well we're a little low on cash right now i thought we were friends fuck your friendship we're not friends you know what you like you you you fucked me the first two months of this thing and you took advantage of my good nature you know and i can remember their name and then onslaught on the other hand also worked with him but the section that like could be interpreted more... And by the way, I wish I could remember the exact details, but they interpreted it differently month after month. Whatever way would get me paid the least is how they interpreted it.

Onslaught, being clever, said, I don't understand this part. Let's reword it so that it's clear. And that's what they did. And then he never had the problems i did that section i now know this is the thing that people do they will word it ambiguously ambiguously and convoluted intentionally if you word the contract ambiguously then you can you can fight it in court and so and you'll win 50 50 so you're just saying like hey it's a 50 50 shot we don't have to pay this guy let's do it yeah and and now if i see a piece of contract i don't understand what i did before is i took it to him verbally and i was like hey i

don't understand this and then they explained it to me and then they went back on their word as it was payday um now hey i don't understand this we need to reward it so that everyone is on the same page that's the it's the more experienced version of me so but yeah got fucked I wish I remembered who that company was I bet people listening to this know who I'm talking about yeah so I forgot how we got on the contracts oh the covenants and the homeowner association but yeah now I'll cross it out and reward it if I don't like it. And it's not tricky. I'm not doing the scheme that they pulled on me. I'm just saying, oh, I won't agree to that.

I'll agree to this. Let's keep talking. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I've been working around the house. Mostly boring stuff. I installed like 28 or 29 floor register like HVAC vent things. What are you looking at? You looking behind me. Look on your left shoulder like right here. What's what's that right there? No, that's your right shoulder Oh my god, I can't believe

This is a thought there's a no I thought there's a little spot like right where the like The cable goes I thought was a spider for a second or something. This? It's covered by the microphone now. I can't see. But I don't know. I thought there was a thing there. If you don't see anything, then I'm sure you're spiderless.

The dog slobbered me here. And I did not realize that's what that... Head level. I meant to change my shirt with one that didn't have dog slobber. The little spot you saw was probably just lint or something. Okay. Yeah, I meant to change my shirt with one that didn't have dog slobber. The little spot you saw was probably just lint or something. Okay. But whatever.

So does the search continue for the new dog? Yes. Jackie was all over you about that dog while we were in Boston. It hasn't lightened up. I have gotten hurt. It was to the point when I left she did like nothing productive but dog hunt. That was there was nothing slowing her down. Woody and I were getting ready to go to the airport and it's just a steady stream of text about about like well I don't know what the website was but it was like greatdameparadise.com dot com yeah kingdom dot org yeah it like freaking puppy mill dot com or something and um so uh we did check everyone wants to hear about rescues everyone suggests rescues we want a big dog

that's a thing we want uh we went to the freakishly big dog. So we checked out what they have online, and they had a couple, but they were all flawed. I think, I'm not an expert, but it appears that with freakishly big dogs, you have to be even more careful with health issues than with your regular dog. You know, if you go to the pound and get like a 60-pound dog, there's a good chance that dog is healthy. pound dog, there's a good chance that dog is healthy. If you go to the pound and get like a seven foot or eight foot tall dog, you need to be selective about that. Harley had her mom and her sister put down at a young age. Harley's the dog we have left because of wobblers. Wobblers is like a problem in their spinal cord just behind their neck and we thought jack had it too that it happens in danes she has two people she's a ticking time bomb jack blew up jack had a heart attack at five um so we're not jumping into like a dog where the parents don't have health certs

all signed and a vet hasn't checked it out and like we're not gonna get another like sick dog we're we've been fooled too many times we went to the the rescue not went to it but like they have it online all the dogs were problems like they literally like had pneumonia right now uh they were deaf blind they had a lot of um temperament issues there was your helen keller dog give me a yeah jack the dead dog um he was a rescue actually he's a purebred but he was a rescue he didn't have a home he was staying with a foster he was pulled from his mom at like three weeks or something like it he was a hard luck case um buddy is a rescue uh i grew up with a rescue we do that i feel like i've done my rescuing um but with the next one we're just trying to dot all our i's and cross our t's with regards to

like healthy dog healthy parents everyone makes it seem like you're a bad guy if you don't rescue a dog let's let's talk about supporting the puppy mill industry okay somebody's got to do it somebody's got to be pumping those hard-earned dollars into that dog rape farm. Or they'll just die out and they won't be rape anymore. Yeah. You want that. I'm going on record as saying this. I hate bitches are made for rape. I did not even.

We're talking about dogs. Get it? Bitches? I got it. All right. go on. Out of all the dogs you've looked at, though, I'm kind of interested in all these massive dog breeds. I can't even name them off the top of my head,

but there was all these Norwegian royalty dogs and swimmer fisherman dogs. Yeah, that one was Napoleon something, I forget. But they've all got these massive heads. It's like this one gets 175 pounds. We're like, God, the biggest dog of all time. And then it's like this one gets to 225. You're like, fuck, that's much bigger than I am.

There's a guy. He was like 265 pounds and jacked. But not as jacked as his dog, which was 280 pounds. 180 pound dog is huge. This thing had another 100 pounds after that and it was jacked. It wasn't like a big fat dog. It's, yeah.

So part of me likes the idea of having a dog so fucking big that people don't even want to approach it. They'll come up right up and pet your poodle and fuck with it even though they it'll it'll be probably more likely to bite than your enormous beast that you're gonna get but i i kind of like the idea of that of having an enormous monster dog but i don't like is the fact that it's basically livestock and it's just like i just imagine like clumping through the fucking house knocking tables around

and like drinks are flying it farts and the whole room is uninhabitable yeah that's true yeah it's uh jesus and we're gonna have two of them yeah plus i mean plus buddy plus buddy but um happy wife happy life i don't know it doesn't look like it uh so uh i i would like an older like a one-year-old dog would be great to me and i try to tell jackie the puppy i'm like yeah yeah skip all the puppy bullshit it's pretty much trained plus you know what you're getting right when you're getting a uh eight-week-old dog, you don't know what that thing's going to grow up to be. You don't know if it's going to be big, small, happy, sad. Jack at eight weeks was, you know, like every other freaking puppy.

Maybe some puppy behaviorist would have been able to tell he had fear aggression, but we couldn't. You know, he just seemed lovable, eight weeks old, whatever. But if the dog was a year old and he approached us the way he approached you, do you remember? Like, you were very good to him. You're like, you don't have to take that muzzle off. Hello, Jack. And he's like, you, fuck you. He wanted blood.

He was so angry with me. It was definitely the fear aggression like like he was ready to kill me to get me out of that house if that's what it took i felt like like he was definitely ready to attack yeah and it was it was he was intense because he's a big guy yeah and we had him with the muzzles so there was never any real date he felt safe right yeah totally of course yeah because he was muzzled though of course yeah like i've said before like there's no taking that dog on and like hand to paw combat like it's not gonna work like he's gonna rip my throat out it's one of the it's you do what you do in a bear attack

you just cover the parts you want to keep and like curl up in a ball and hope that he just nips your ass until like someone gets him off you it would be a bad day so yeah um but you know if you're buying a one-year-old dog then you might know that about him you know the things like it's dog at this point well that's not what you're doing you're getting a uh you're getting a puppy and it's going to be a glorious puppy and uh it's going to be gargantuan it's probably going to be like 20 pounds as a puppy. So think of it that way. I mean, there's some adult dogs that don't get that big. So you're kind of starting with a one-year-old dog.

Because they're fucking huge. I can't believe you guys love those big dogs. We do. We do. Yeah, well, it'll be what it'll be. I don't know. My dad said to go with the Doberman. He loves his.

And, like, while he said it, he's, like, sitting on his Kubota ATV, and, like, his Doberman is, like, sitting in the passenger seat with his big head, like, laid over on my dad's chest. And he's just like, oh, it's true. We are good dogs. He's just, like, so lazy. And he just lays out in the sun for, like, hours at a time. Like, he's solar-powered out there just soaking it in like all day danes are like that too so danes i i looked

at all the the giant breeds and uh i was like all right clean sheet let's see this you know let's look at these mastiff let's look at the i think it's a newfoundland that's the water one you like um and and let's look at the kangals and look at like but pretty much every time there's some big dogs that had like giant rastafarian dreads and stuff hanging off of it and like you know some of these dogs are for people whose hobby is dog grooming the ones with undercoats you know they they have a a short dense coat uh as a base coat and then they have like that long like flowing fluffy coat like those are like cold weather uh aquatic dogs and those are probably not the breed you want you want like

a short-haired dog i think that doesn't shed that someone pointed out a kengel i think i'm pronouncing it right and that actually turned out to be a really cool you know a candidate but um right yeah the k yeah but um the Great Danes actually came up well in all the things we like. And I always like this about Great Danes. They are like supremely athletic. They run super fast. They jump super tall. They're really strong.

They're supermen of dogs. Yet, they're still lazy 95% of the day. They keep saying they're good apartment dogs. Apartment dogs? Yeah. Pretty much you let them out for a few minutes and they've got all the out they need. You know if you buy, I'm gonna mess it up, maybe an Irish Setter, like one of those dogs that kind of is built to rustle sheep or something, then that dog needs to be run all the time. That's not the case with Danes. It's because the

Danes metabolism can't support its body size. They've only got enough energy to run out. They're like a shitty cell phone battery. They go outside. They're dead in like 30 minutes. You've got to put them back on charge. All those other dogs are appropriately sized. That's why they can

go all day. They're supposed to go all day. The shitty cell phone battery effect is what I'm looking for in a dog. I that i want my dog to pretty like if i had an off switch these dogs are off all the time then i open the door and yeah come on go get that way go get that way follow me in the golf cart come back and then they're done like all right turn it back off again perfect i love that in a dog and uh um yeah so the great days actually when i started with a clean sheet of paper i came away they're actually towards top of the list so that might be where we go again bernard mixed in somewhere yeah i i've been saying

that to jackie too let's get like a great bernard or a great like that yeah um a poodle apparently so poodle is a bigger dog than you might guess. And I think they don't call them great poodles. They call them like poodle Danes or Dana Doodles or something. I forget. Essentially, poodles don't shed.

So that's why they mix like Labradoodles or Labradors that don't shed. And I'm like, like oh that's an interesting idea but i think jackie's all about the great dane um that i think that's where we're gonna land all about playing god with these poor dogs you should get you yourself like a genetically engineered dog that's what you should feel like we are right fuck all fuck picket picking all these breeds like like no not selective breeding want gene therapy involved. I want splicing.

I want you to have a super dog. It should be able to take 10 feet with a single bound and get some titanium teeth in there. You can have a superhero dog if you want to put the money into it, I think. Jesus. Your dog could fight crime. My daughter was talking.

We were talking about the house and how long we were going to live here. We said something like 10 years or whatever. She's like, you don't think you'll be here in 20 years? I was like, I don't know. It's a big house. You move out. Colin moves out. Like, Jackie and I don't need 6,500 square feet.

And she's like, well, I could take the house. I'm like, you could buy your own house. This home isn't just like, you know, where we live. It's like part of my investment portfolio yeah what do you think jack just give her the house right right yeah i was like i'll sell it to you you got seven to ten million dollars that's what i'm hoping for that'd be great right that property value takes off that's why she needs to uh to get a job. She's just been given money since birth.

Time to mix in a little bit of hard work. What kind of job is appropriate for her? Can I make a suggestion? What I think would be cool? I think it would be neat if she got an Etsy shop or something entrepreneurial like that and she made a product and sold it online.

I like that, but I feel like that could also be not a job if it and sold it online. I like that but I feel like that could also be not a job if it didn't go anywhere. I was thinking... What's that? There'd be some sort of punishment for that like you got us can think of it as a real job like if it's gotta be if she doesn't work it would have to come along with the same consequences as if she you know didn't show up showed up late for a real job like... I mean not work it, but the customers drive how busy you are in an Etsy thing, right? She could just make candles and say, look, I made fart smelling candles, never sell one

and be like, yeah, that was my summer job. Didn't go anywhere. I would like to see her at like a Yankee candle or something. That seems like a nice introduction to the workforce. Hmm. It does sound, it sounds like it would smell really nice all day mm-hmm but I think first jobs that would be interesting maybe in a restaurant god that's a hard job but you learn service industry you learn to work it's part of the deal learn to hate people like not want to eat at that

restaurant anymore you know how long a day at Yankee Candle would be, though? You're just not busy enough. I don't know if you've had a job like this where you look at the clock at 2.40 and you say, ah, it's almost 3. 2.50, ah, it's almost 3. And then 3 and 3.10 and 3.20 and you're like, holy shit, it's been 3 for like an hour now. This clock isn't moving.

Like if you've never had that job, then you're missing a part of what you need to know about for work. Okay. That's going to be an interesting situation. Of course, she won't be driving herself to that job for several more months now. She should be driving in December. That's the thing. She doesn't know this.

You guys are going to get the inside scoop. With Colin, he wants to go on a Disney cruise, but I don't. It is both money I have to spend and seasickness. I forgot he was here. And seasickness that I have to endure. So he has skin in the game. That's Jackie. She keeps saying, you got to have skin in the game. So he needs to eat like 10 new foods. He's got one so far. He eats at California Pizza Kitchen or something like that. I want to mix in some more healthy ones, like a grilled chicken or something like that. But his diet is not healthy enough and it's not wide enough. And you know, every time we eat out, we have to like go to Wendy's and then bring Wendy's with us to like

whatever, Salsa Fresh or Macaroni Grill. No, he needs to increase his diet so that he like i said healthier and just wider so um if he does that if he gets 10 new good foods you can't just grab like six cookies um then i go on the disney cruise with him we're gonna make it happen hope wants to color her hair she's always wanted to color her hair but she's always wanted to color her hair, but she's a redhead. She's like a red, orange, fiery... What color does she want to go to? She has talked about dying just the tips. She's talked about greens and purples. I think if she was a brunette or blonde, I'd be against it, but because she's a redhead, I'm like really against it. It just looked like she's got the greatest hair and I didn't want it died but I think I think blonde would be okay I think brunette might clash with her skin

tone but but I think blonde would work I see now you're thinking of like full-on like fuller yeah and and right no she's thinking of some sort of scene bullshit right like like the tips will be blonde let's do blonde on the tips and uh she shows you a picture of it right and it's and you look at the picture and you're like actually that turned out pretty well but everyone in her high school that does this shit looks terrible terrible so what i think we're gonna do is for her, it's going to like, we need her to drive. I'm like, I need you to be able to drive mom's car, dad's car, parallel park, in traffic, forwards, backwards, et cetera. For some reason, she's not

driving motivated. So we're going to use this, you know, skin in the game. Her carrot is going to be coloring her hair. She colors her hair. I'm sorry. She learns to drive. Really learn. We need to define that. Perhaps a driving class. She's had a driving class. Perhaps a defensive driver's

class. Send her to a real driving school. Maybe where she can learn. Like a NASCAR driving school. Yeah, that'd be some fun videos um we'll see i feel like learn some off-roading skills she's not motivated driving she is happy in the passenger seat that's the core of it what is that about well do you like being chauffeured well like as an adult i like being chauffeured right because like i at any moment i can say no i'm gonna get in my car and go but but like as a 15 year old turning into a 16 year old i'd already gotten like a taste of it because i could drive you know when my parents in

the car so i know what it's like to be in control of the car and how much fun that is but now i get to decide where the fuck i'm going because there's no point when you're with your parents when you're like, you know what, Dad? I'm just going to drive around for a while. I just want to go down this street. But when you're in control of the car, you're the fucking captain, finally. You're not just the... I don't know what normal is. I'm sorry to cut you off, but I don't know what normal

is, right? Like, when I was a kid, if I wanted to, say, do something after school and, like, getting there and getting back from it was a real problem like i don't think i could have participated in a sport the next town that would require my parents to drive me they wouldn't do it you know um but hope has always gotten everything you know i don't think you can can put it on that because i had the same i was that deal too where yeah i was driven anywhere and everywhere i i wanted to go like i was driven to paintball tournaments you know 50 minutes away and you know you know my dad would drive me to from store to

store to get what i wanted if i if i was doing clothes shopping mom would take me to this store and that sort of this mall and then an hour to another mall if we needed to to get you know my shopping done whatever it was you know transportation was never a problem but when i had the car it's it's like you it's like you change uh from the uh from like the what do you call from the pilot to the captain and there's a difference when you're the captain you decide where the ship's going and how long it stays there and how fast it goes getting there when you're the other guy you're just taking somebody else's orders and just kind of doing it it's it's so much nicer i i was i was yearning for that that freedom for me that power it was about the freedom but not so much

the power like i when i got a moped i had a moped i was a moped nerd and uh after that i had a car the fact that i could go anywhere i wanted, that my world opened up. I could go to the next town. I surfed. Sometimes my local beach wasn't the best beach. So I'd rather go to Atlantic City or Wildwood or something like that. I hear AC's pump, especially when the surf got big. Back then, Atlantic City had the better beaches for the big waves.

And I'd be like bumming rides off people. I couldn't determine when I was leaving. I had to keep an eye on them because I was afraid they'd leave me. And they might have. I don't know. We're not that good friends. Maybe they're dicks. So I had to make sure that I was always with them.

But when I'm driving, all of a sudden, I don't have these problems. I can go anytime I want. I can surf for as long as I want. Longer than them, not as long as them, whatever. I have these problems. I can go anytime I want. I can surf for as long as I want. Longer than them, not as long as them, whatever. I'm in charge. And that's what I liked. But I feel like Hope has that already. She already gets to go anywhere she wants.

And there's not the same sort of, like, suffering that I had. I don't know. I like even the ability to be like, you know what? I'm going to the gas station. I want a pack of chips. Or, you know, to just be able to go to, to you know a convenience store or anywhere i wanted to go it was a lot of it was a lot of power to suddenly have and to just be able to get away from my parents just to be like you know for up until then i'm kind of a prisoner there at the house

unless i've planned a thing that they take me to and then leave me at but now i have the power to just be like you know what fuck this i'm going somewhere else like we're i might just drive around i might just you know get we used to call them spirit journeys my cousin and i would just get in the car and it might be five in the morning when we started or it might be like midnight but we just start driving until we got lost you know we do shit too we'd be like where do you guys want to eat let's go to arby's four people four separate cars arby's was 40 minutes away fuck it you know and we'd all just go we were just driving like assholes but yeah um it was fun so but she doesn't seem to to share that she's just fine the way she is so well that's unacceptable well i the the hope is that the hair coloring thing is something that she wants

and that she's willing to learn to drive for. I bought you some. Oh, I'll just wrap this up. She's always wanted my truck since she was little. But then when she had to learn to drive stick, now my truck is unattractive. And Jackie always backs up, your car is so hard to drive. Your truck is so hard to drive i'm like i do it every like it it's very easy to drive totally achievable it's harder than hers the automatic forerunner because the it's it's hard to miss those gears in your truck it's true it's a nice long shift and everything i like

it yeah it's it's not tough so um but they all jackie reinforces this notion that my car is hard to drive. And I'm just like, I don't care. Hard for you. I'll admit it's harder than a Camry. Like if there were a stick shift Camry, I think that would be easier. But I just wish that they'd stop being like, you know, that is a master's level car. No, it's not. It's fine. it's not so difficult

you get one of those video games that has the six-speed shifter and put her on that i don't understand how it's so easy it's just it there's even a picture of it on the shifter yeah that's not it's regulating the gas and the clutch you know so that it accelerates smoothly is her challenge but to me and i don't know why she spent hours learning it and she gets into gear and stuff i did a video once but um i it generally it literally took me like 30 seconds to learn to drive a stick and then i was set and she's hours in and not as good as i was a minute in. I just felt like it was pretty simple. And I'm not very coordinated when it comes to like, I see people playing the drums and

you've got one foot doing the whatever it's called. And then you're doing a totally different thing with this hand and this hand. And that to me is like chewing gum or like rubbing your head or like doing eight different. Yeah, doing that thing like times a thousand. I can't imagine like playing the drums effectively and keeping the time with my foot correct but operating a clutch is it's just like out on this one down on this one it's just keeping a nice little balance there and you can hear it you can feel it in the shifter it's i don't know it's kind of second nature i

guess and i just don't have that much practice it just makes sense I guess to me she's struggling with it so well I'm hoping that when forced to learn to use my truck she'll be interested in again I got kind of excited about the power wagon or the new f-150 or you know that a couple different things are out there as options and you know I think the smart money right now is I keep riding that Tacoma for a long time. And I loved it until they teased something new. And now I'm like, yeah, I guess. Keep going.

We'll see. So we'll see what happens. I think maybe you should put a big winch on the Tacoma. It has one. Oh, that's right. It does. Yeah. My wife's air conditioning was broken and It has one. Oh, that's right. It does. Yeah. My Weiss air conditioning was broken and I fixed it.

New skill set for me. I'd never fixed it. Was it the compressor? Or what part did you have to change? It was just low on Freon. Oh. You've probably done that before, it sounds like. But you basically test it, see if it's low.

If it is, you fill it. There's a tool used. It's almost like filling a tire but uh the whole diagnosis and filling process was new to me and uh it works she was really suffering with that ac it's awful um and it's so much colder i i think of that as summer maintenance uh with the like topping off of the freon like i turned the ac all the way to high i've got that bottle just like tapping it because i feel like that turned the ac all the way to high i've got that bottle just like tapping it because i feel like that initial surge of pressure is enough to maybe overwhelm the

the seal and get a little more freon in there like like and you can just see how much colder it gets it's uh cold ac is important in the south yeah so she i mean it literally she'd get home she's sweating like it totally just wasn't even working. Uh, and it wasn't just bad. It was off. All it did was blow hot air. Hot air. Yeah.

And, uh, I was like, all right, I'm going to just, I watched some YouTube videos, found out what I thought it was. And, uh, when I got back from, um, uh, with Joe's wedding, the, everything was waiting for me. The parts came from Amazon, fixed it. I was proud. Jackie was so psyched. So you had a topic we were going to talk about.

Oh, I know what it was. Oh, yeah, I bought you some hair gel. Yeah. I'm going to mail it out tomorrow as long as it's not a holiday or some bullshit. So you forgot your hair gel for Joe's wedding. And I was like, use mine. My hair gel is called Surf's Up, I think. It comes in a blue and teal container, green and blue container.

And it's sort of the consistency of thick toothpaste, like you said. Yeah, yeah. So I felt like when you spread it on your hands, I couldn't get good coverage on my hands. And then when I put it in my hair, I didn't care for the smell that much, too. It was sort of a menthol-like. Oh, God. It was like kind of an old it was like a kind of a

kind of an old man deodorant kind of smell i never noticed it smelling at all i feel like we can improve on that now i'm not a big proponent of like access to product line i feel like a lot of people use that axe body spray like as a as a shower substitute it's a shower substitute right guys at the gym do that all the time if you're a teenage guy listening to this and you're one of those guys who works out, but you just barely broke a sweat and you're like, yeah, I'll just ax this up. No, don't do that. That's the most white trash thing ever.

Don't do that. Take a fucking shower and get clean. You're going to smell. You want to smell like soap, not like ax. But this ax hair gel stuff I use really does smell nice. And it's not like an overpowering smell. I don't smell me. But if a girl smells me or if anyone gets close enough to smell my hair,

it smells very nice and I feel like the consistency is such that it's sort of a putty but when you do that, it spreads evenly throughout your palm and your fingers and it's like a white film and then I just kind of mess everything up and then I part it and then I kind of mess it up a little bit more to make so it's not so like perfectly parted and I'm done and it sticks and it's like it's sticky enough that like I could I don't know do something silly with my hair if I really wanted to but it's not so sticky that it's like gross like I don't feel like I need to wash my hands or anything i'll see i i my hair right now is too long uh for my personal preference my wife thinks it looks fine but i i like it shorter and it's also getting to the point where i feel like it retains heat which makes me unhappy but uh we'll get it cut again i i feel like you keep the sides really short like you're

a professional baseball player or something and you like it a little longer I like it a little longer on you you know it's weird and you're probably right because I feel like when you see someone else that's like your own image of what you're supposed to look like and what you do look like it's so distorted when someone else gives you feedback usually it's on target well here's the reason I feel like just much like me, we're both pretty pale. I feel like you get a lot more sun than I get. Just this year is new, yeah. Yeah, for sure.

But when you trim your hair, it's much lighter than your facial skin tone. So it shows up a lot lighter. And it's, I don't know, it doesn't look as good, I feel like, as if everything's dark and full and you can't see your scalp at all. all huh well i could go a little longer on the sides and then that'd go maybe you could do a whole thing up here like getting get some stuff up here i don't know i don't want that my hair is so thick it gets hot even right now i feel hot there's like it's like i'm wearing um what the freak is a tobog toboggan? I don't know. What are the hats called? Maybe some sort of water-cooled helmet. That's what I need because it feels like a ski hat.

I have like a wool cap on all the time because my hair is so like thick and it's hot and it's awful. And it's strong. It's determined. My hair, that's why not every gel will do the trick because especially when it's short, what it wants to do is grow out straight in every direction like a chia pet. And it takes a proper gel to harness this bad boy. I feel like my hair is very thick and straight. And it wants to go straight down.

Like it wants to go straight down and it wants to like turn into a bowl cut like it wants to grow into it it's like remember in joe dirt when he's like he's like i don't i don't style this bro he's like so you mean it just grows in a white trashy like that like that's how like my hair comes in on my head it like wants to go into like a bowl cut on its own so like it takes some work to make it like keep it under control and like get it to not do that bullshit i didn't realize that until later in life but pretty happy with what i got going on now i guess it'll start falling out soon i'm sure my dad's got like i'm gonna say 85 of his hair i feel like his hairline receded like three quarters of an inch maybe yeah yeah maybe three quarters of an inch and it thinned a little bit in the back but not very much my uncle's hair has just really went downhill in a bad kind of way a very

unattractive baldness where it like gets thin and gross in some spots and almost looks like he was on chemo and uh and for a long time he tried to like grow part like a donald trump scenario where like there were parts of it that were like four inches long even though parts of it were like millimeters long so he could wrap it all up under a baseball cap like some sort of a a chic or something i don't know i saw a diagram that explained donald trump's hair i did i've seen that before it's pretty impressive oh man i i see all right i guess if you've seen it already but i i got a big kick out of it like it it is a whole new way of hiding his bald spot

and like i'm like that's not a comb over but it doesn't look right either and it's gross it's it's his own comb over remember what try hard told us about um his dad getting those hair plugs and how they were very expensive but they looked like real hair maybe anymore like i know they were very expensive but in the end like basically they've cured baldness with those hair plugs like hair plugs now look legit they're just very expensive i think it might cost you like 20 grand to get your head fixed. But then you have to ask yourself, like, if you're Trump and your hair is iconic, do you want to move over to hair plugs where everyone knows you got hair plugs

and everyone's going to give you shit about your hair plugs? He's such an attention whore, I'd make it a spectacle. Like, I would be endorsed by the hair plug company. I was just going gonna say that when harley shaved his beard schick did it for him right or whatever that company is called i didn't catch that oh yeah so he harley shaved his beard off and he got sponsored and there was a party involved and there were like 30 extras cheering the shaving of it and a guy his name was woody shaved him in like a barber's chair as they talked about how wonderful the blades were and you know they're like oh the world is

losing a beard i like to think of it as gaining a face and they're doing their thing um harley made money off the beard if trump goes and get hair goes to get hair plugs yeah like you said you know that that place should be paying him. And have a whole broadcast. He would unwrap it and show everybody what he's really got going on, and then they shave it all off, and then maybe you get a before and after or something. I doubt he'd be cool enough to go through the process. If he owns it like that, like you're suggesting, then he's not going to be like on tmz talking about it or

whatever it's going to be like no i decided to to join the world of normalcy in this hair and yeah that's what it would be his current thing is just really weird he's just grown it out really long and wrapped it all up and there's a whole like folding pattern yeah there's lots of spray yeah i don't think i'm gonna go bald i'm 42 and it hasn't started so it's good you know there's i see those guys who are like a couple years out of high school and they're thinning out badly and it's like i dodged a bullet there yeah um so we'll see i'll get my hair cut and get new gel and and we'll look identical. Oh, I was thinking of closing with a joke.

All right, let's hear it. On PKA, if you're new to this, or PKN, I mean to say, I try to work in a joke every time, and I've kind of been slacking. So a bear goes into a bar. He sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him, and then calmly orders a beer. The bartender says, no, no, no, we don't serve drug users in here. The bear explains, I don't do drugs.

The bartender's like, well, what about that barbiturate? Barbiturate. Barbiturate. Barbiturate. Yeah, it's a class of drugs. Yes. Oh, oh, the thing about my jokes is they're always bad. That's the guarantee.

Barbiturates. Yeah. All right. That was PKN episode number 42. I hope you guys liked it. Until next time.