Painkiller Already - PKN 424

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

pkn 424 taylor what was your big day oh it just meetings and you know you know when you have stuff where you're like the day before you'll be like oh that task that'll take me an hour and then like you get going and you're like oh oh no i know not only like kind of missed the mark i missed it by orders of magnitude and it's like an hour into something and you're like oh i'm not even fucking close but so it was just uh busy like that uh i got a good workout in so i'm feeling good i've been loving that better than you are the only thing better than push day is rest day i don't think I ever sent you guys a photo of that machine I got months ago. The hack squat leg press combo.

That thing is I don't think I've ever even talked about it. It's awesome. It is what you injured yourself on. No, no, no. I didn't hurt myself on that. So it's like I mean, the one that like cut your arm is what I was talking about. Oh, yeah. Yes.

The box of it injured me. I interpreted that the other way, too, that it was a usage injury, not a delivery injury. It wasn't usage energy. I was getting pumped out there moving the box around. That's true. I got punched. All right.

Well, I had an awful day yesterday. Let me tell you what I did. I put off a few little move-in things for a while. One of them is concealing this cable that I run from my office to the router. What I really need to do is pop the cable box outside and figure out which input will let me run to one of the alternate things in my house. And you know what? Solved my problem. I'm going to do that after the show, but it'll be annoying. I'm digging through a cable box. What I tried to do was conceal the cable yesterday and i got these

strips they they stick and then they got a top that goes over them and slides in the cables locked into this little rectangle that sticks anywhere really well and i got my level and i'm fucking making this thing look good and it's it come it comes across the wall and it's it when i get to the vent i do a nice thing i go go around the vent. I keep the cable taut. I'm going for two hours because the little sections are shorter than I would like. I'm even cutting them. I'm making this thing look good.

I've got a little plumber saw that I can cut them real quick, make them the right length when we get to corners and stuff. You're cutting the cable concealers. The concealers. There's no cable showing around corners. You can't cut cables, Kyle. They stop working. You just stick it right backers. So there's no cables showing around corners. You can't cut cables, Kyle. They stop working. Oh, you just stick it right back together.

It's like a fuse in a cartoon. That's what's been taking him so long is reattaching the cables. It's a nightmare. Slowly threading. So I get to the box and I'm like, here we go. Let's plug her in. And I had ordered the wrong kind of Ethernet cable. And it's one extra thing wide.

I don't know what those are. Maybe they were for servers or something. I don't know what I bought. What I was trying to do was make sure we got the highest speed Ethernet cable, and I bought it quickly. It's not an RJ45 connector, the normal-sized Ethernet one that you see everywhere. It's not a terminology I'm familiar with, but it is one cell, I'll call them, wider the standard is it's it's an extra one wide like

i think the standard one is maybe it's got it looks about three or four cells wide add another cell something you're a strong guy just kind of yeah you know i am a strong guy because when i realized my mistake, I took the cable and started ripping because I wanted this shit off my walls. And I thought what I would do is just instantly rip the cable out of all those fucking holders and we can start all over again. But I was angry and I did it too angrily and I destroyed them all. And I also ripped some of them off the wall taking the paint. So now I need a painter.

You're not going to try that on your own? I literally said, I'm done with this. I'll pay someone. It looks like the one that's kind of old school telephones used to use but fatter. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is fatter still. There's a new standard that I didn't know about, I guess.

Okay. Perhaps or maybe i even got something i'll remember i bought the cable like six weeks ago and 10 years and i keep procrastinating like because it doesn't matter to me but it does look better not having just a cable ran down the stairs to this box and i wanted to right right and i'm gonna we'll get right back at it i'm gonna i'm gonna fix that cable thing outside that's what i need to do because there's a cable thing right here i can move the router into this bedroom is what i mean and then i can then who cares what the cable looks like i run an eight foot cable rather than a 50 i think now i'm running 50 feet of cable or something so how much time total do you think you wasted

two hours good solid two hours of like because i was being so meticulous about it and like like not wanting any wanting it all level and wanting all to look like one solid piece. I really took a long time doing it. And, and it was real frustrating. So Zach, can you zoom in on me? Can you make me full screen for a second?

Meltdown. Do you see this cut on my nose? Yeah. All right. That's enough. It, this is it's best that it's looked on, on Sunday night.

I'm laying in bed and I swear I'm not masturbating at the time, but I have my computer on my chest and I fall asleep to this. This is not that uncommon for me. And the, I don't have it right here but an apple laptop is not like a plastic pc or something they take one piece of aluminum and they mill it out to make room for all the electronics yep yeah you could slice or nose and um so and it's this clamshell thing that's so sharp and so perfect and nice. And I fall asleep with this computer on my bed opened.

And then while I'm sleeping, I do something wrong. And it tips forward and pounds me in the nose. And I barely wake up. I'm like, oh. barely wake up i'm like oh i'm like aware of what happened i know this this is actually the second time i've done this particular move taking a laptop we know that i think this is the better wound and uh and i had this like in my sleep i'm like i bet i'm fine like you know like sure i got bumped in the nose but not every bump in the nose is a laceration is it but for me i'm

two for two i would be a brag yeah so um in the middle of the night i like kind of touched the side of it and i can feel the presence of so i don't know i'm hoping for booger i'm hoping hoping for booger for a stray side of the nose booger trying to like that'd be even worse because that's someone else's in the morning and i'm like all right let's see what i have to work with here and uh there is blood trickling down my nose there's enough to make it like down my cheek and my neck and it's on the pillow when you talk about your quality of sleep if you notice this injury this was a kind of injury the top quality sleep i think you're looking at this the long lens i i can hardly be woken if you would have had if you would have had your b-pap on that would have

it doesn't no it's different it comes under the nose and and the bridge of my nose the other the maybe one of those bars that like kickers in the 70s had that might have helped so uh anyway i clean it up and there's like a scab across the bridge of my nose and i'm already the the mo surgery scar it's still there you can see it you don't i don't wear glasses all the time like i do on the show but uh it's mostly better and i feel like i can walk out and about with it colin is not like he's just not socially adjusted for this kind of thing if you have any kind of flaw he points it out to you like oh you have a pimple i'm like yeah i know i know it's got white on it it's got white all right like that's that's a conversation with

colin might have all the time and uh you're just getting roasted yo he'll ask me his typical questions like dad is rick dead on the on the walking dead and i'm like well we don't know for sure you know i got a feeling he's gonna come back in this last season he's like it's distracting it's so it's so it was swollen before it's gotten a lot better since sunday it's not that big a wound but uh and by the way i like took the scab off with vaseline on it i am it i am show ready with this this is the best it's looked since sunday and uh but he's like is distracting. Or you're here this week. Yeah. Huh. Look at that. Your nose is interesting, Dad. That seems like as nice as you can hope for.

Interesting. Man, I could handle that roasting throughout the day. Oh, my God. He has no social grades at all. You ever just walk into the kitchen, he's got a mic, and he's like, hey, hey, hey. Get a load of this guy. Looks like somebody's hungry. Looks like somebody's hungry. Looks like somebody's hungry.

Save some for the rest of us. What's going on with your nose? You banging on the peanut butter carrot and you're about to eat? Like, yes. So he must be feeding it out of the nose. Am I right? Oh, yeah. Just like, Colin, I hate this Richard Pryor phase you're in.

I thought he'd get into karaoke. This is really David. He's just giving a tight five on my nose every morning. I just want to have a mic and a guitar. Hey, everybody. Just roasting people. That's hilarious. Yeah, you've had some bad nose luck recently.

I feel like I'm on the other side now. We're about this thing will heal by Friday or so. The other thing will get better day by day. We're coming out of this, boys. On camera, even when you don't have the glasses on, I can't even see where the Mohs surgery thing was. I know on screen it's different, but yeah, I really can't see much. Yeah, it looks good.

It looks good. I'm glad it went well. I'm glad you're cancer-free. It's all good stuff. You sent me that Ukraine clip. I like that a lot it was uh for the audience's benefit it's some ukrainian soldier we could probably watch it yeah oh but it's all i'm sorry he's speaking in russian with captions it's probably yeah yeah how many guys are audio only but he's basically he's got a bunch of dead russians behind him and he's like talking mad shit he's just like ah you're gonna mobilize some

some of those crack soldiers this was your regular army you know we've been beating their asses for seven months with your plans and this and that the other it was it was like you want our land so bad you're going to be part of it as fertilizer like your friends here and then i didn't notice the dead bodies behind them until he pointed them out i'm not sure they were on camera though because they're wearing camo yeah got me blown to bits now i mean this guy i'm not i don't have the audio on i'm just reading it but yeah the the pikachu patch i like it what do you feel about that a lot of guys are rocking them yeah he is a big guy you guys are rocking the pik A lot of these guys are rocking the Pikachu patches. Pikachu, a bit of a poser Pokemon, man. It's kind of a standard.

Show me you actually know your Pokemon. Pick a more unique one. What just shows he's a follower? I bet that there's a real reason for wearing Pikachu. He's probably like a lightning Pokemon and that's like a fucking recon thing or something. I bet there's some correlation or reason for wearing it. There's a hundred cooler electric Pokemon out out or electabuzz looks a hundred times

cool nobody knows what electabuzz is everyone listening to this knows who electabuzz is is it a b because that's my best guess this is this is an electric b this is literally one of those age things how did he get his flowers his powers? Did he fly into a bug zapper? He couldn't fly. He just was a striped yellow and black kind of homunculus man. He was a wingless yellow jacket that was electrified? Pull up Electabuzz. No thanks.

He's one of the coolest Pokemon. And you look at Electabuzz and you tell me if that's a cool patch or not. Don't pick a stupid picture up. Don't you fuck me on this, Zach. Don't you fuck me on this. Zach. Don't you fuck me on this. I'll be like, no, Zach, show him how strong a Schwarzenegger looks.

He's got pictures of a life of fuzz. Zach's picture is going to be stupid as fuck. Alright, looking at the photos now. He was cooler than Pikachu, but he was also cooler when I was seven. But come on.

He's got fangs. Is he venomous? Well, he shocks people. Then why does he have fangs? Electivire is better still. There's a move called Thunder Fang. So he can bite you and shock you. Okay, cool.

Pikachu's much cooler, though. He has a catchphrase. What does that guy go? Buzz Buzz or some shit? Something lame since he can't even fly? Yeah, that's what he does. But Pikachu can't fly either. I don't know why Pikachu can fly. Yeah, but that guy looks like he should be able to fly with the stripes and everything. i'm thinking like yellow jacket like the penguin

of the avian world so it must woody on the opposite end of the spectrum i saw like this big fat bellied russian guy giving some new troops like the pep talk now it's in russian but of course there's russians on reddit translating and first of all they look like they're in a school from the 50s like like like like you know where they got the cursive above a blackboard and like one of those and he's just like when you get there all the forces of europe are there fighting against us and the americans with their advanced technologies but we're going to fight and die and And make sure you bring tampons. Bring as many tampons as you can. And one guy asked where to get them.

He's like, I already checked the drugstore. They're sold out. That's what they're using to treat bullet wounds. Tampon, it works really well. If you're in a survival situation, God forbid, we're in America, right? You ever get shot, grab a tampon. Your girlfriend probably has one in her purse. You might save your life.

I'm too manly for that. I'd bleed out i'd rather i agree that's a beta behavior applicator i'd rather fucking die yeah i'm not trying to get laughed out of the hospital that pink string hanging out of my arm hell no it makes sense that a tampon would be good at that, but imagine how excruciating that would be. Just cramming something into a bullet hole. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have that thing the military use. I can't think of what it's called in Tarkov. It's the thing

that injects all of those very tiny absorbent pellets inside of the wound. Imagine taking a whole bunch of ear plugs, but small and like like shooting them down into like a nasty wound and they're all just like swelling up and is it with a syringe yeah well not like a standard syringe an injector though and more like being a turkey that's getting based is it like that thing that you see in like

movies where they have a pouch and they like rip open and they pour this white powder on them? Zach, show us a hemostatic injector. I think that's correct. But I've always thought, obviously it's saving your life from bleeding out. I needed that for my nose. I imagine when you get to the surgeon and he's trying to get all of that shit out of you,

it's a fucking mess. I knew a guy who fell in the back of a spreader truck. If you don't know what a spreader truck is, I imagine when you get to the surgeon and he's trying to get all of that shit out of you, it's a fucking mess. I knew a guy who fell in the back of a spreader truck. If you don't know what a spreader truck, it's a big dump truck, and in the base of the bed, there's a conveyor belt that runs, and it carries whatever's in there out.

Yeah, there's an injector, yeah. It's injecting those little pellets of absorbent shit into you. That's cool. Anyway, this guy fell in the back of a spreader truck that was full of uh chicken litter like it's it's it's like it's don't don't think like cow shit it turns into this powdery like sawdust consistency that you could shovel easily it's not a cake but anyway he fell got sucked into the back of this thing where there are two counter spinning propellers that fling whatever you're spreading out and it got his like belly and it

almost disembowels and it rips him open tremendously and he stuffs his belly full of chicken litter to stop to stop the bleeding he packs himself full did that turn out to be a good move he lived he lived he's still alive that was that i was in with the doctors like good thinking with the poop stuffing i don't know how he didn't just go septic and fucking die right but because that's generally like your force of will action um but uh i can't remember i was in second grade i was in second grade so i'm getting like what the adults are saying to each other but i remember the whole thing really well because he came to our we had a field day in second grade and there he was showing up on his crutches.

Like, I think, I think my mom made a comment. Oh, here comes the brave hero. He's come out for fair day. Let's all clap. Was this guy like a piece of shit or something? Yeah, a lot of pieces of shit. Or maybe my mom's a jerk. It could go either way. I mean, it's a lot of pieces of shit ah or maybe my mom's a jerk it's going to wear i mean it's possible he did i mean i guess what else would you do your stomach's been ripped out

you're probably gonna take your shirt off and use it as a stopper or some sort like you jam jam that in there yeah yeah really when you break it down almost anything is better than powdered chicken shit to i don't know i so this morning jackie and i go out and we ride motorcycles like i don't know say four days a week or something you know we just practice she has not left the neighborhood yet she there's my house which is really like there's like big houses on big lots and then you go a little farther and there's normal houses on there. Like, I don't know, quarter to a third acres. And the point is those houses give a lot more places to drive around. And you know, there's like a maze of streets and stuff.

So we just go from stop sign to stop sign practicing. One of the stop signs, there was some dude park there and he kind of distracted her. He was operating a miniature skid steer and she tips over and skins her knee weirdly she's wearing these like kevlar motorcycle pants and they're fine and it has padding in the knees everything's fine but on the other side she skinned her knee somehow i don't know it's magic the pants must have turned on her knee and and so the part that was between her knee and the asphalt was the side of the knee about the pants i had she said that too she agreed and but still the pants themselves were like they held them so like the friction though you know yeah yeah so uh anyway i have another friend who got

into a much better accident this is like like three weeks ago. Better or worse? Well, more impressive in that both of his arms are like broken. Now he's got worse. He was going like 90 on a interstate exit. And so he's leaned over really sharp and it has these bumps on it. And if you're leaned over when you hit bumps on a motorcycle, the suspension, like, it's meant to compress when the bike is kind of upright. When it's sideways, it doesn't work as well.

And instead, it just sort of bumped the tire off the ground. And he slid and he hurt both his arms. And Jackie is like, yeah, so, you know, Drew and I are just recovering from our motorcycle injuries. You and Drew, two peas in a pod i sent him pictures of her skin knee i was like the two of you really uh bad shape huh so that needs an auto blow it's good that she's joking about it so she's getting she's less scared of it than she was she's she's more all in i'm sure like yeah yeah i thought she recovered pretty well from it like like so i mean the details of what happened were a motorcycle is a little easier to ride when you get over like three or four miles an hour and she was nervous about there being a little less room

because there was a truck and a guy there she She made eye contact with the dude standing in the bed, which is not... You look where you're going, right? That's not the move. Her mind is on everything except the mission. And she didn't give enough gas. She stalled. And then without speed, she tipped over. And that was that.

No big deal. But I liked that she got back on her bike and rode it home and didn't make like good yeah a big dramatic fuss about it or anything but she did want to go home she was done so speaking of uh potential dramatic fusses god damn mizzou almost beat georgia they lost their number one ranking, Georgia did. Yeah, it fell to third. It fell to third. Rightfully so.

That was right. That was so. Mizzou's terrible. Kyle's so tough on their team, and I thought they were in second. Are you right? Third. All right, so there's multiple polls. The poll I look at, they were third in.

And then, again, that was at like 10 a.m. this morning. God, we could have snuck up to 24 or something if we would have. No, you guys, I think we would have no you guys i think the week before you guys had a tough opponent that you took down to the wire as well auburn and then that kicker missed at the last second apparently i read this as the georgia game was happening i don't actually watch that's that's right you do almost winning games almost winning all against auburn almost winning against georgia like i i just was was looking at sports Twitter while that game was going on. I didn't watch any of it. And it was hilarious.

You GA fans melting down. We're losing like this to fucking Missouri right now? I thought we were good. You know what? We should just be thankful for what we had last year because it's over. And it's like, guys, step off the ledge like right he was actually playing very it was looking bad though i don't think we scored a td until maybe the fourth it

was late before we scored a td i think it was the fourth a couple of field goals before then i mean it's not great news but if on your worst day you still get a win if it's like all right guys let's start trying for real or we might lose. No, look, it's definitely good to come away with a win rather than a loss. Sure. But it wasn't a good-looking win. They were supposed to be, just the line was minus 30.

What often happens when you have a scenario like that where a top five team is close with someone who's not ranked is it's like a shootout where the defenses aren't really doing their thing. It's like, holy shit, you guys have allowed them to score four times? You better hope the offense can score five. This was like, we couldn't score. It looked bad.

It looked real bad. The Braves, on the other hand, are just tremendous. They just beat the Mets two out of three, right? Just spit you in the eye. Three out of three. We swept the Mets. Just of three, right? Spit you in the eye. Three out of three. We swept the Mets. Spit in your eye, Met fan. Spit in your fucking eye.

You were first the whole year. Are the Mets and the Braves rivals? Yeah, I've always despised the Mets. Everybody in our division, though. I'm not a Phillies fan either. Like, fuck the Phillies, you know? Hey, words hurt. Philly just clinched a playoff spot, by the way. Look, it always, though, I'm not a Phillies fan either. Fuck the Phillies. Hey, hey, hey. Words hurt. Philly just clinched a playoff spot, by the way.

Look, it always... Who I hate, I hate them all. I got a lot of hate for the Dodgers. I still hate the Astros for back when I think Clemens was pitching for them in his later years, and they smoked us in a divisional series, maybe. That was like 0-6. That still makes me mad.

I'm excited the Phillies made made the playoffs and i'm hoping they do well but i thought about it i literally can't name a single player not even one player on the phillies and if you were like woody well okay current team forgiven can you name a philly I'm like Mike Schmidt Pete Rose Mike Schmidt you're telling me Mike Schmidt walks in here you don't have a robot yeah I'm going to like 80s and 90s Lenny Dykstra like I couldn't name a recent Philly no I thought this like I was watching like this clip of wainwright yadi and pooh holes like their last home game for the cardinals and i was like damn like with these guys retiring i don't know any anyone on the team not a single person like i don't know about other cities at least you'll have to go back to your childhood to name a player like yadi he was around 20 years ago 20 plus but like

like around here i know like baseball isn't as big everywhere people here are fucking fanatics about baseball they talk about it constantly like you've got the hometown hero coming back hitting home runs and going to the playoffs right like he just hit yeah another one today i think 703 like he's hitting one every day like every day he's hitting one and i hope the cards he's old but like how that would be awesome like mark mcguire's biggest problem was not getting walked like yeah he and barry bonds and sammy so so like they just walked him every time it seemed like i've been watching this youtube channel called baseball doesn't exist or maybe it's baseball isn't real. It's one of the others.

Okay. And, uh, they do these deep dives on players, interesting players. And they did one on this guy. I think his name is Zach Granke, G R E I N K E. He was playing for the Royals out of, out of high school. He was hitting like four 50 or something like that. And, uh, and throw in, in the nineties. And, uh, and so they, they bring this guy up and he's got severe

anxiety like this is a guy who was like coming out of high school getting drafted he was dating a girl who was what was she 420 pounds no well she's a dallas uh dallas uh cowboys cheerleader oh and uh and. Okay. And he's winning. He's getting picked, I think, sixth in the draft. Big deal. But he can't, between innings, he can't sit in the dugout with the players. He goes and sits in the stands by himself with a coat on. He doesn't want anybody to talk to him.

It really stresses him out. What was the other weird stuff? He had multiple mental breakdowns to the point where, um, he was begging them to put him back in triple a and let him be a position player because he was tired of the, the stressful buildup that is being a starting pitcher. Cause it's just,

instead of playing every day, you play every four or five days. And it's so important. It's like, let me play shortstop please. And they're, and they're like, and there was a night when,

uh, in the nineties, bro. So he was an mlb starting pitcher being like yeah i don't i don't want to be a starter please he's telling him he's a hit he's like i can hit and they're like well all right it's a blowout game you we've lost go up there and fucking hit he hit a home run with his eyes closed you can't make it up he hit a really he closed his eyes he hit a home run with his eyes closed and then um and then he had a real breakdown um where he uh he he was going to retire and he said he wanted to go cut grass for a living i think he wanted to cut grass for a living because nobody talks to you when you cut grass nobody has any expectations like you can just cut grass and it's cut and uh he eventually and then some he got his shit together and uh came back some of the weird little intricacies about him he throws a

slider like one of the best sliders in baseball and um he said it started making his elbow feel a little funny when he went to sleep it didn't hurt it felt a little funny so he just stopped throwing his best pitch yeah i want to say he say he won the Cy Young Award that year. What? And he's, yeah, 2.6 ERA the year after he quit throwing his best pitch. But then the next year he was like, yeah, I'll throw it again. And it went even lower. So I don't remember who he's playing for now.

He's not playing with the Royals. He got out of there and went to the Brewers and then somewhere from there. Really interesting guy, though. The interviews with him, he's so bizarre he's so awkward like he's clearly on the spectrum yeah big time i mean this guy must be like i'm just looking at his wikipedia page and stats and everything like this guy is like a legit ball player very fucking good like he he is on the Royals now, you're right. He signed a $13 million contract for, I guess,

one year with them. Read that quote from him that Zach just posted. This is his quote. I love the guacamole. Now, I don't really love the guacamole, so I get it when I feel like it. They changed their guacamole from $1.50 to $1.80. I mean, $1.50 is

already pretty darn high, so they changed it to $1.80, and I'll never again get guacamole from $1.50 to $1.80. I mean, $1.50 is already pretty darn high, so they change it to $1.80, and I'll never again get guacamole. It's not about the guacamole itself. I just don't want to let them win. That's a starting pitcher in the MLB. That just endeared him to me. It is about the principle. The guacamole isn't worth $1.80.

What a smart guy. He didn't live in a van by chance, did he? Oh, to save $1,000 a month, he lived with a fellow player and his family. Huh. It looks like in the beginning of his career, he was so nervous that they had him stay with a retired Hall of Famer from the organization. They just had him live there.

He has all of these weird little, i don't know terrors about life and and are these little incidents like some player sent word they're like hey bob over there he plays shortstop for the nets and he collects autographs and he'd love a signed baseball from you could he send a baseball over and green keys warming up or whatever doing his thing he's like yeah yeah sure and and and the baseball gets there and he thing. He's like, yeah, yeah, sure. And, and, and the baseball gets there and he's like,

he's like, this is for Ziegler, right? Bob Ziegler. No, no, no, Dave Ziegler. Oh,

I don't know. Nah, he's like, nah, I thought it was for Dave. I like Dave. That's right. And so that guy goes on like the

baseball has like super nerdy fans. So he goes on the memorabilia boards and is like, Grinke is an antisocial turd and he refused to sign my ball. And it's like a current MLBer going on there doing it. So everybody was shitting on him. And again, like during the pandemic, you know, when they

put the cardboard cutouts in the stands, you look up in the stands, cardboard cutout, cardboard cutout. There's Granke. There's Granke. He's up in the third fucking row sitting behind the dugout. He was probably loving that. No one there making him feel better if he hasn't gotten over it. I guess I didn't fully realize what a star this guy was in MLB.

But by the end of his career on this current contract by 2026 he will have made 300 million dollars in his career yeah so he's a he's a real aberration if you like weird interviews and stuff um like like he's gotten into all kinds of fights and altercations um that's always interesting when like athletes are so fucking good at what they do that like they can't you can't not play them you can't you have to put up with you have to put up with the is it antonio brown the uh the football player that i just was jerking off in the public i think that guy's like pretty cte'd up he must be yesterday i saw a picture of him and it's from behind he's in like a hotel pool right like like you know

leaning up against the back of it but he's got his enormous cock out and he's jerking it and there are people in the pool looking on like, what the fuck is that Antoni? God, it's huge! That was big to you? Is he like... Is he like... Is he going to get in trouble for that? Exposing himself to people or is it like a famous

guy, it's okay thing? Dude, I don't know, but it's... thing dude i don't know but but uh it's i was shocked chocolate thunder told us about him and i don't even know how to like rephrase it like he he said he was a florida fellow and that that's what florida fellows are like they didn't say fellow that they beat off in front of people i don't know if florida people would be happy lumped into that the weirdness of it that like i don't know it's cte i think yeah he's also the guy who said like like didn't he say like i wish the only thing i wish is that i could have seen me playing in my prime what a treat for all of you to be able to, I'll never be able to watch me in my prime.

And it's like, dude, like settle down. Like, I don't know how good he was at football, but I don't think he was a star sports anymore. Two star sports. Oh,

like two sport athletes, two sports stars. I should have said, Oh, backwards. I don't think anymore. I think they're also demanding. Bo Jackson's the famous one, but Deion Sanders

was too. I want to say Deion Sanders scored a touchdown and a home run in the same week. It might have been the same. It was so close. It could have been the day. When he did it, it was like, wait, that dude, because he was playing for Atlanta, I think, at the time.

He scored a touchdown and a home run in the same fucking week? It was crazy. And I think he was like a super rookie, like not just his first year, but like his first game or something. This is going to be close to right. Oh, that's the other thing about Granke. He's a world-class tennis player, and he wanted to play professional golf, but now he hates golf so much that he refuses to ever play.

Like he's got all these weird fucking things, dude. It's so bizarre. This guy's great. Yeah. I didn't know anything about him. CTE sucks because it means that you're not going to, like there are some sports where you get to enjoy that sports guy into his 80s and 90s, right?

I think Pete Rose is still still around i haven't heard anything from him lately but i bet pete could go and like tell you some cool shit about the old days still he didn't get cracked in the head every day uh but but but the same isn't true for muhammad ali because his job was getting cracked in the head and i feared i think mike tyson's gonna be okay because he didn't take the the damage like everybody else is he was lucky to spend a few years in prison when he would have otherwise been taking damage. Well, so many of his fights were first round knockouts,

30 seconds, 90 seconds. He didn't have a lot of wars. Didn't have a lot of wars. I have no idea what his sparring was like, but I doubt that they were able to find somebody to come in and hurt Mike. I bet it was pretty one-sided often. Yeah. I bet there's

some guys in the gym that had cte that yeah yeah he was known for being rough like he wasn't fond to train with he they had to pay those guys terrifying individual no i you don't get that with the combat sports and i did you see the thing of tony ferguson he does this little warm-up that little shuffle thing yes oh man i noticed it fight night and i wanted to pretend like it didn't happen but after seeing him so for taylor's benefit this guy like does this little gymnastic shuffle thing where he like goes down to a knee and then does like a christy cross and then pops up and then goes down to the other knee it's almost like a lateral um lunge that's quick and fluid it's hard to put your finger on it.

It's not a move you've done, I'm sure, but it's athletic looking and you're like, shit, I don't know what he just did, but I know I can't do it. Yeah, it's like a double lateral reverse lunge with a switch step in it. It's athletic and

it requires coordination, strength, a lot of things. And it used to be able to do it slick you know like an like a martial artist can do certain things slickly when they're announcing the names or maybe explaining the rules he would do this to occupy himself yeah and they showed him over time slowly slow not really slowly slowing down in 2019 he looked good and then all of a sudden like 2022 all of a sudden 2022 it's like boom you lost it like like that you went gate gaethje ruined that man gaethje ruined that man and i mean he either ruined him like you said or he exposed him because i looked at after gaethje beat ferguson like that i started looking at it and i'm like actually ferguson was scheduled to

get this hard fight and someone got hurt and then he was scheduled to get this hard fight and he was hurt it was i'm like man he went through years of ally acquaintance and like accidentally being protected you know he was a top guy and they'd get him top fights but for one reason or another one side or the other he didn't have to fight them and then when he finally fought gaethje it was like all right let's see this and turned out it was gone yeah i'm looking forward to the fights i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm definitely gonna bet um it was funny i sent taylor like the card and and i think he picked like the ones that I would have picked. Really?

He was like, boom, bing, bang, boom. And I'm like, well, yeah. I was going down like, that guy's name is pretty Russian. He's good. Oh, Ferguson versus this, or who was it? There's Oliveira versus Islam Makachev, right? Yeah, and then there was one, there was a guy I'd heard of versus someone named like... Oh, the Sean O'Malley versus Piotr Jan. Yeah, I picked the guy without the goofy hair.

That's a good call there. Piotr Jan is going to eat his ass. Just looking at that image, I was like, dude, that guy, pink hair, me thinks that Doth protest too much. Like that guy's going to in a bad job that's a terrible matchup because peter yan is known we're near the end of his career i don't think unless he's like one of those russians that ages oddly and he's 40 is o'malley i think i know maybe

no o'malley's like favor o'malley's your brand new fucking like early or brand new fan guy a lot of pop a lot of everybody likes his style he's obviously you know like with the hair and everything he's done he does a lot of social media a lot of youtube stuff he's building his brand and they're gonna throw him in there against like a top three guy who's gonna starch him i agree with kyle but in like last year the year before in my mind anyway he was that brand new guy that was popping that everyone was excited about that was this rising star here we are you know almost 23 this is the year 2023 um it's time for him to stop beating up cans show me what show me if you're actually the guy we're excited about

i agree but i just feel like there should be a middle ground between Cairns and Jan. I think of Jan as a scary motherfucker. I think he's going to throw O'Malley down and just beat the shit out of him. O'Malley's just been getting you think kind of layups until now, but like bolstering. The one loss he has, I think

he hurt his knee. He lost via TKO elbows and punches to Marlon Vera. I'm pretty sure he hurt his knee in that fight. I know the result looks like he lost to punches and kicks, but

if you watch the fight go down, he's hopping around on one foot, laying on his butt, and then he got punched and kicked. It looks like his's the most recent fight either he or some or the other guy poked him in the eye just no contest fucking hate eye pokes man that's the worst they're a bummer i don't know how to fix it a lot of people think if the um glove had more of a curve to the fingers people would do that but i think fighters are

intentionally straightening their fingers out yeah i think they're scratching each other's eyes and stuff like one thing they do is they'll rub their hands on their face and just, like, sandpaper them. They do all sorts of mean shit. And while you're doing that, they're like, yeah, my fingers go in, they go in. They're going, you're just like, they're doing this over and over, trying to, like,

because you've got them down, you've got an advantage, and you're like, let me fucking manipulate your shoulder and your arm just how I want. I'm gonna break you! And they're like, and you're like'm gonna break you and they're like yeah if it was like uh if it was uh if it was me fighting someone and i poked him in the eye i believe that because i i have no idea what i'm doing but the same way like you know you see a clip in the nfl of like a head targeting hit you're like that guy's in the nfl he knows exactly what he's doing like he you like you can see him like line up and like point his head towards the other guys or his shoulder towards

the other guy's head whatever they're not allowed to do like i i'm less likely to believe the accidentalness of like a finger poke from these like elite level guys yeah yeah like if it's what they do like when a hockey player like falls into another one is like, oh, my God, I accidentally fell into that guy's leg. It's like, yeah, really? You're a pro. Like if if I'm on top of you and I'm between your legs, right? Missionary position, but in your guard and fighting. What I really want to be is cowgirl, right?

Which is full mount. And so if like, how am I going to get from missionary to cowgirl? so if like how am i going to get from missionary to cowgirl well you know if i can like i don't know distract you by smelling my stupid glove or worried about your eye pokes or something like that then that's part of the moves to get you not to focus on the fact that i slip one leg past you or whatever that happens in fighting all the time it's like any sport they're gonna like play up to the rules the up to the point of the rules like everybody can like and then once you were like you know everybody gets one like you could just walk in there and kick a guy in the dick and they're gonna be like oh watch out what are you doing you do one that one more time you're like i'm not going to i i

just came in to kick him once in the dick i got my one ref i swear to god if i kick him in the balls again that one was an accident but yeah it seems like you do get like two ball kicks before they take a point away you get like two fence grabs they're they're so lenient yeah fence grabs are they don't look severe and they don't hurt the other fighter but if you let your imagination go like what would have happened if you did get on top of me and that executed just the way you wanted it to it could have changed the whole fight a real common one is when they grab and they're not successful in keeping themselves up, but it breaks the momentum of a throw. Like when they've got that,

when they've got to throw just right, and they've actually going to slam this guy back on his shoulder head area over there. And then that guy's able to like rake his fingers across and like take a bunch of that momentum out. It's like, dude, you just went,

it's a tremendous difference. Like now you're going to land on the ground together rather than being slammed and then bouncing and then the other person yeah but the other guy's not bouncing so you have to bounce and he doesn't and he's clobbering you the whole time right and your goal is to land into a position of advantage when we do hit the ground maybe because of that unsuccessful fence grab we land in a more neutral position where it's kind of a tie. How about a plexiglass surrounding instead?

Then you could destroy someone's head. I guess that means... Think about that. But my worry is that it's not as camera friendly. Yeah, that's true. But when the blood splattered across it the first time, everybody would be like, yeah! The squeegee girls come out!

Oh, man. How fun would it be if between rounds they had guys with big orbital sanders just buffing that shit down? Well, maybe not guys, but girls with them. No, the biggest, juiciest guys. Oh, Mr. Cleans coming up!

And some big bald guy with an earring. Woody's like, Woo! Mr. Clean! Get that buffer, boy! Some woman comes out there struggling to carry the big buffer. Woody's like, Boo! Boo! Give it to the man!

Like a three-foot diameter buffer. Six guys getting it all done in two minutes. Bring out the hot one. Yeah. I'm psyched for the playoffs. Bring out the hot one, which is Mr. Green. I'm excited for the baseball playoffs, too. Yeah.

All of our teams are in there, right? If the Cardinals beat the Phillies, then the Cards will play Atlanta. Obviously, the other way, Phillies will play Atlanta. I don't know who's favorite in cards, Phillies. How does hockey work? You don't know who plays who in the second round until the first is fully done, right? Correct, yeah. Best team gets the weakest team remaining.

I think it's a wild card in baseball where we know, right? We're in the wings waiting for them to finish up there. The Phillies and cards are the wild card matchup. We're playing to see who gets to play Atlanta. But in baseball, like if,

if I beat someone who's ranked way ahead of me, I inherit their favorable schedule. Like, like March madness in hockey. If you come in lowest ranked, you just face the toughest guy available the whole way through. I think. Yeah.

There's a lot of good legacy teams in there. No matter what, it's going to be a cool series. Woody's got a point with the Yankees. Yankees-Mets would be cool. Didn't we do that one time? Yankees-Mets? Probably, yeah. The Subway Series. You've got to pull for the Mets in that

matchup, right? You've got to go for the underdog. Yeah, of course. Go for the National League team. No, I go for the Yankees, because the playoffs are interesting until they're out. Ah, fuck. Just don't give a shit. I feel like their team is so soulless. I don't know. Seems like a corporate team. I've never met

a Yankee fan. Yeah, it seems like a corporate team. It seems so... I thought you were gonna say you never met a Yankee. Who cares a shit about the Yankees? I've never met any of those dudes. It's an old-timey fucking losers chipper jones are fucking homies do you think i'm gonna be friends with a yankee no i don't know any of them but so but i've never met a uh or i've never met a yankee fan that actually was a fan like plenty of people are fans of shitty teams i always respect that i'm from the northeast and

actually growing up i had the same thing like oh are you a yankees fan you're a bandwagon fan you know how i know they've been good for 30 years and i know they've had some down years but like there's not really a lot of tough times to bear through with the yankees it that's i want to see a detroit lions fan i have respect for that i remember in like the the late 90s like friends of mine on my hockey team would just be like randomly red wings fans and it's and it's because obviously the red wings were fucking unbeatable it's just a bunch of russians who all agreed to all play in detroit together and dominate and i was like you fucking bitch like you're not a detroit red wings fan like none of us know shit about anything we're eight like you're wearing a red wings hat i don't know

even at the time i'm like yes come on stick with the blues they're they're bad but are there anything else coming out of the flyers like they've got that hard-ass coach they've got the hard-ass i haven't seen anything new coming out of there i i did see the like one of the defensemen they traded away uh shane goss despair or something they got he was like really good five years ago and then they traded him for peanuts and he had an interview where he was like on his like road like i want to show that they made a mistake trading me for peanuts. And it's like, all right, well, at this point it doesn't really look like they made a bad decision.

Let's see what you do. But I, I, Philly is, is in the mix to be one of the worst teams in the league this year. And it's all part of the process because they're, they're going to be bad. And John Tortorella,

their coach is going to scream them into submission. And in a year or two, they will have their confidence back because they'll be a little better. And because they'll have that structure that Tortorella will fascistically force on them. And then once they've got their confidence in two years, they'll fire Tortorella and bring in someone who's like a good ship leader and get them going. So hopefully they'll have a good turnaround because I am tired of the Pittsburgh Penguins being the best team in Pennsylvania for 20 years. That's never happened. It's been the whole time, man. It's been the whole time.

I remember there'd be comments. There was a hockey journalist in 2010 who wrote an article like, the Crosby time is over. It's time for Claude Giroux to take his place at the top. who wrote an article like the Crosby time is over. It's time for Claude Giroux to take his place at the top. And it's like a very memed article because it's like, no. Aren't they like the same age? Yeah, they're like the same age.

Claude Giroux might be a little younger, but like one year or something. But yeah, I'm excited. Hockey season starts in three days, which means my total amount of content I'll be able to watch every night and be entertained is about to explode. I think I'm going to have a bunch of friends over on Saturday for the Blues' first game versus Chicago.

Maybe smoke some meat. It's going to be fun. Dude, speaking of shit no one cares about, the Sixers, so they had this great player, Ben Simmons, and he's a head case. I know, like we talked about he's a bigger head case than that baseball guy because he won't play. He took a year off from basketball so that he could sort out his head case issues.

And this guy's an all-star every year. He's one of the best players in all of basketball. But two years ago ago he's in the playoffs and he had an easy dunk this dude's a six foot ten guard it's just tall for a point guard and uh one of the smaller players he probably weighs like 155 pounds was in the paint next to him and uh he saw him and he's like oh shit pass dude this is like me and a seventh grader and he's like no he dumps the ball he gives it to someone else that guy misses the shot they lose the game uh instead of it being three to one in the series it's two to two and they go on to lose that series and i get it's

just one point it's not a hundred best hundred point basket or anything like that but they blame the whole thing on that play anyway the best player on the team is like that sucks i hate that play he didn't have his back at all they asked the coach like can you win a championship with this guy and he's like man i don't know so uh oh zach said he just played but um anyway he sits the whole year so he can get his head on straight. The Nets are like, will you play for him? They traded him right before the playoffs. And his new team is like, play with us, play with us, play with us.

Doesn't. Just doesn't. At the very end, he has back surgery. So I guess there's some legit medical reason. But I don't know why he needed back surgery when he hadn't played basketball for a year. But that happened and now he's just breaking the ceiling getting back with the nets um in in this season so i can't wait to see him play he's about to play against philly i don't i don't know if that's the game i missed

but they're in a it's a preseason game so it doesn't matter but at least he's playing against his old team and we'll get to see that nice do you uh do you know who the guardians are they're a sports team are they the they're not the 36s no i don't think i know who the guardians are it's fucking cleveland's baseball team now i saw guardians they got rid of the indians they rebranded oh i do like when teams keep the same number of syllables in the name. I saw that the Guardians were coming out of it. I do think about that, yeah. I was like, did I flip over to fucking soccer or some shit? The Guardians, who the fuck are the?

And then it clicked. I'm like, that's the Indians. That's so shitty. Yeah, that is a crappy kind of boring name. What the fuck is a guardian? What else is Cleveland known for? I mean, I know what a guardian is. They should have picked a color.

What, do you look after kids? What the fuck do you do? It's so funny just being like, we're the Cleveland Browns. Fuck you. Can't stop us, idiot. Cleveland baseball browns today. We're the oranges. No, that's a fruit. I don't know.

Be the blues. The Cleveland blues. That's St. Louis. Fuck. What's a color that's not taken? I mean, with this black, they should be the grays. The Cleveland blacks.

The Cleveland blacks. The Cleveland Indians. The Cleveland blacks. up next at bat for the cleveland black skins it's like guys i don't think this was better up next for the Cleveland... God, that was an edgy pick. I don't know about this new name, but I definitely know they need to pull those pants up, Mark. The hard R's getting destroyed tonight. By the Yankees.

I hope the Braves never do that. I think Indians is technically offensive because they're not from fucking India or whatever. They probably don't like that. They want to be called native peoples or what's the other one? That's too long for a sports team name. Anyway, I'm just saying that the Indians is offensive, so I get how it's offensive.

But Braves, Braves is not offensive. That's their word. It's a good word. No, no, they better not I'll I'll protest that'll be the one thing that gets you protesting dude I would if they change the name I would absolutely be done I would absolutely you can't change the fucking name look it's not like Ryan Klesko and Chipper Jones are still out there playing. The only thing that still ties me to the team I watched when I was five years

old is that goddamn Indian and that tomahawk. You take those away and I'm done. I agree. The chop, I thought even as a kid, I'm like, damn, that's a cool cheer. That ties into what I was going to ask. Okay, we're not going to change the name.

What if they updated the logo a little bit? I don't know, the cursive thing with that primitive tomahawk? It's what they used. It's an Indian tomahawk. What do you want, like an advanced cyber tomahawk? And like a space Indian? Put a cyborg guy on him? I really like the tomahawk. I like the tomahawk. I think it looks good put a cyborg guy on him it's a no i'm out of his head i really like

the tomahawk i like the tomahawk i think it looks the axi part is poorly made it looks like they took a rock and hit another rock and tried to make it i love the tomahawk and i don't know if you've ever seen us do the tomahawk chop with our foam tomahawks but it's sick also the um it's sick we're just like What's really offensive I don't even know if we still use it anymore But there is like a Native American That we use too He has a face

There's a guy If you can find that guy I think Homer is like one of our mascots And now they do this thing Which I think is a partnership With one of the power companies here Homer from The Simpsons No it's a different homer he's he's our homer but but but but i think like you know like homer like a home run i think i think that's the little play on

words but they've got the freeze now you've probably seen the youtube videos i love the freeze trying to outrun the freeze that's hard to do huge head start and then they turn the freeze loose that guy's that guy's quick that guy's so fast what is the trick to beating the freeze now obviously you have to be fast enough right i'm i'm never gonna beat the freeze i'm not built for speed like that but let's say that i was an a minus runner and i had to beat a plus over there do i like dog it until they release them and then turn on the jets how do i get them to underestimate me do i just turn on the jets from the go like what's the if you're a real runner i don't think i think the the head start is plenty you know i think i think that like if you ran like

i bet if you ran seriously and like high school and like you stayed fit. It's not like he's God. He's just a really fast guy. I would think that a fast guy will beat a really fast guy when you give him a 10-second head start. That's a huge head start. It looks big anyway. I didn't interpret it as a 10-second

head start. It's big. When they turn him loose, those guys will celebrate. They'll be like, come on, crowd. I beat the freeze. And the freeze is like, what the fuck? I don't think it's time. I think it's distance. And I think the distance is variable. I'm not

sure about that. But I think that he will give me a bigger lead than he will give a better athlete. Oh, I've never noticed that. That would be smarter to do. You'd cut him closer. that that would be smarter to do you'd cut them closer if it were if that were the case then you yeah you absolutely dog it until they turn him loose and then you turn the jets on if he's like oh look at slow poke mcgraw let's yeah go ahead give him 12 seconds like you can pull one of those but i know that like a normal man who doesn't run

seriously is never gonna outrun that guy no and i do mean a man there's no women out running that guy like there's no woman who can outrun that guy either of you maybe kyle i'm watching walking dead again and uh in walking dead in an effort to keep it fresh ish they bring in more and more weapons so i think we know the ultimate zombie weapon is probably a spear you could even make an argument for a regular shaped sword, you know, to get in there a little closer and have more agility. But one of the main characters, Daryl Dixon, uses a crossbow. What is a crossbow for? Who is it for?

I can reload a bow. Yeah, I can reload a bow and I'm not talented with a bow but i can probably get a shot off every six seconds a crossbow you take one shot and then you put it down and you start using your poking device on these zombies where is a crossbow good so i don't think it's good for what he's using it for but but the reason it exists um primarily is hunting like that's why most of them are made and the reason people hunt with them is because there's a special season devoted toward them and in many localities and it's often the uh the best choice for a handicapped person to hunt in a primitive way so they separate the primitive usually it's archery um muskets for like a week

depending on the locality, and then rifles. Once you turn rifles loose, you can still use your bow, but you don't see it very often. If you're a paraplegic, you can't draw a bow properly, but you can use a crossbow. That used to be the law here in Georgia. What about in war, in medieval times? Didn't crossbows have a use

and why? You can be way less skilled and operate a crossbow anyone can like operate the the the french had like a crankety thing but i think a lot of them had like a pulley thing uh the modern ones have a pulley thing and you can pull it fast i don't know how quick i could i could reload and accurately fire it'd be interesting to time myself i suppose but i'm it'd be like thick yeah click uh the the british resisted the advent of the crossbow because they had the best archers in the world and they like saw like a shame thing to it where they're like there's no skill for this like you need to be

trained yeah they discouraged by the english they look down on those dirty french um with their crossbows um it's uh but but yeah that the uh in real life like like you know there hasn't been a reason he's a crossbow for a very long time for any real reason guns were invented but i mean i guess the big benefit at the time was it could shoot very like incredibly hard so it could puncture the newer kinds of armor they were coming out with. And also like you, it took so long to train like 10 good, like English long Bowman. And you could just give 10 crossbows to people and be like, you kind of aim like this and then pull the trigger.

Like, and like you, I mean, it wouldn't be as good. I might be overestimating how difficult it is to reload. I thought you had to like put it on the ground and get in the position, pull it straight up and just really work it yeah it's very it's hard to do it so modern ones require a lot less strength like i can put mine on the ground and i can cock it really quick with one

pull and i'm not trying hard okay the old ones some of them require this device where like you hook the end could you have done that like as a teenager like you're strong right yeah yeah like what about young kyle i i think a teen my teenage me could have done it because teen well i killed a deer with a bow at 13 and that's a real bow and then that's 60 pounds of drop but you weren't as strong as you were now at 15 no um but but but yeah i i don't you could look up what the pull is on a standard like i i bet it's probably 80 pounds or something but it's both your hands picking up 80 pounds once it and it and it's because you're it feels smooth and it doesn't feel like 80 pound dumbbell that can be a little unwieldy it's like click it's just done

and when you when you get it in the sweet spot it does click it's secure and just lay that arrow in there and it shoots as accurate as a rifle for 50 or 60 yards or something i mean all the arrows are in a tight little group they're far huh that's funny because it looking at it through that lens suddenly who might be the most badass guy on the walking dead is like using a weapon for untrained morons i mean well he's just using a weapon that i think it would it's pretty good for what he's doing because his main problem is maybe killing a person stealthily and there's the ammo consideration in reality he'd be breaking those arrows all the time unless

they're carbon fiber aluminum arrows just every time you shoot them alright it's ruined if it didn't hit a foam target and stick in it then it's ruined yeah but carbon fiber they always seem to be in the woods. You know, it's Georgia.

You'd lose arrows quickly. But then the other thing is, I think it's hard to illustrate this in shows. There's just so much supply of everything here that you would just never run out if you stumbled upon the right factory or warehouse. There's an AutoZone in Livonia, Georgia. It's like the regional regional supply place i don't

know how big that place is but you get lost in there like scary lost like like it's him it's huge it's a gigantic square that i'm sure you could see from altitude and if you just needed parts in the few in the apocalypse they're in there they're in there you need oil it's in there too my cousin worked there briefly when he was like a teenager and he talked about the big pallets of motor oil and transmission fluids like millions of pounds and uh yeah just everything you can imagine is in the looters come in there and they only get like three percent of it because you couldn't get it all out that'd be a good place to like set up your little fortress. There's lots of good places like that.

That's the other thing. I like the idea of the zombie apocalypse. It's like a teenager's like, yeah, we'll get to fight the zombies in the future. But it's like, how do the zombies overwhelm the military? How did that ever happen? I saw that little Reddit thing the other day. I didn't see that one. It was like, use none of your

equipment, tactics, coordination. Oh, I did see that, actually. Yeah. I know it's time to wrap, but Ukraine has been butt-fucking Russia for the last couple of weeks. Have you followed this much? I only seen what you guys have sent me. Maybe three weeks ago, me and Taylor were talking about it, right? Because I was talking about how they were asking that nobody talk about what's happening

right now on social media, and Taylor was like, ah, I'm like, no, nobody, they're not talking about it. They were, they were making this huge advance, and they've taken a lot of territory. Dude, so much. Is there a map we can look at that shows, like, the time change? The time change is the challenge. I can show you a map,

the ualive.com thing, but seeing how much they've taken over time, I can show you a map, the ualive.com thing, but seeing how much they've taken over time, I can't produce that, but they've taken seemingly half of everything Russia took back at this point, and they're just... But fucking

Russia, I can hardly describe it. I learned a new term, operationally surrounded. They keep doing this. So, of course, they've got the one side. That's the front. They take their left and right, and then the fourth wall is artillery. So I don't have troops on the other side, but I've determined that this is your escape route. And then they just bomb the hell out of that escape route.

They're killing like 5,000ians as they try to escape and apparently russia did this to ukraine like during crimea or something like they were like hey if you need to get out this is your way and then they slaughtered them and they went up to the north right they went up the north uh east and uh flanked around behind the russians they're sort of doing this hook and then dragging the hook down across, taking a big chunk of the Russians as they go. Because as the hook comes around, they're able to encircle towns completely and pincer the towns over and over as they take that swipe going. They're in the northeast where they drove and now they're seemingly going southwest,

taking slices of towns away. I don't know anything about military tactics but i'm like learning as i go through this war it's how i learn geography it's how i learn everything we go to americans we fight people and uh i'm looking like oh look look look here's a like a river i bet what they're gonna do is against the riverbed and sure enough like here they come and they just start like fucking them they're it's mean what the ukrainians are doing to the russians right now i'm not saying it's uncalled for but it's undeniably mean it's just plain mean oh yeah this is a i've never gone to this live ua map that's neat they got like air defense active here that so it looks like russia

controls like kind of the lower swooping portion near was that the black sea that connects to crimea and did they ever control more than that yes they controlled a good bit more and in the south they made less progress than they have in the north but they made a lot of progress in the south recently and they took the north back yeah i'm sorry ukraine has yeah yeah the north i guess you're right yeah the north it doesn't look like russia there doesn't look like there's any red whatsoever in the north at all yeah it's been fascinating to watch and it's made russia look so weak on a global scale i've enjoyed every moment of this it's's been fun to see these Ukrainians just beat the shit out of the Russians. You can go to all.

Can you go to any war on this? I don't know about any war, but there's a bunch of them. I'm sure you guys saw like the one Russian sucking the other Russian's dick, and then they dropped a mortar shell on his head. You did send me that. Yeah. You know, that was another one where every time they drop these mortar shells, they're frag shells.

This is new to me. They're not concussive shells, which is something I understand a little better. A concussive shell, when it drops, instantly there's an explosion and that explosion is meant to hurt people. These frag mortars that they're dropping, they're like shotguns almost. They just blast a bunch of little fragments into the people. And because of that, they don't die instantly. And because of that, they always look okay for 30 seconds, 60 seconds. Like they get shot and they're like, ah,

damn. And they like take the covers off them. They might move a couple of feet. And I'm like, oh, he's not dead. Maybe the mattress absorbed all the trouble or something like that. Good Russian mattress.

Bullet of steel. something like that good russian mattress i've had people watching this footage at least a third of them are like on my side with this they're like no i'm with you no they look okay for a bit they don't insta die it's not like they got hit with a bomb they got hit with this little anti-personnel show that like what he said shoots little fragments everywhere it they get shot three or three times eight times twelve times depends where they're standing and they're dropping them on these poor assholes when they're sleeping in holes like you're already there like afraid of afraid of getting shot so you dig a goddamn hole crawl in it and throw blankets and shit on top and then there's some i like to imagine it's a call of Duty player. Like three clicks away being like, I fucked your mom. Dude, come here.

Watch this. I'm going to hit him in the ass with it. They're trick shotting you. They're dropping it in your hole. You can't even dig a hole in high. Good work, Private Stevenson. But there was no reason to call them the N-word so many times. That's how I work.

What Kyle said is impactful to me. You can't even dig a hole and hide i feel like if you're in a foxhole and your head is down and you're under a blanket you're doing war right right you're not actively engaged but you're being safe that is in a foxhole with your head down in a way that no one can shoot you is as safe as you're going to get in a war zone but nowadays some cod player with the it might make it worse because the the foxhole is going to concentrate the blast or the frags or something like it make it makes it like maybe he can hit the edge of your hole it'll still ricochet in you know like it makes you easier to kill i'd rather

be in the open field oh i'd rather i would be back home like no i wouldn't go there's no way you could i think the what else you do taylor is you go to a civilian's house and kick them out of it. I think that's the safe move. They're going to go tell. Civilians are going to tell and then they're going to come back. All right. I'm going to have to get a little meaner here.

We're going to kill civilians. We're going to have to kill them. Woody goes straight to war crimes. War crimes are important. You want your side committing war crimes. That way they won't surrender. Yeah. And little known fact, if you win the war, none of the things you did were war crimes.

That's widely known. Widely known. If you win the war, nothing you did was wrong. No, you're kind of a hero, actually. That's how the good guys have won every conflict in history. I thought it was just fate yeah i uh anyway to die in a foxhole with your head down just it's such a worthless death it was always possible before right like there's always been mortars and artillery yeah yeah these drones are so good at it it's scarier than dropping it right you know how they are they are they are they're right over them being like oh

here you have here you go and they're just free dropping it right on but they got fins right they're made to go right where you drop it in the past remember that scene in band of brothers where they're on that frozen forest and yeah they get shelled over and over i think that's what it took to get a guy out of a hole you had to get lucky and like hit his goddamn hole that's so stressful they just fly over you and just like oh yep there they are it seems like if they had more they'd be killing three times as many too like they just need more what surprises i'm it always looks like they're about to miss every Video I see maybe in real life they do miss

Sometimes but in the videos Hits and it's like oh yeah Here it is off to the left never mind and like What wait That wasn't a smart bomb was it How did it get back in the Hole guy threw a slider in there Yeah dude I

I it's really interesting to see how this war is being fought i'm i think our guest or somebody asked us if we thought no it was something the hangout which was fun somebody asked us uh if we thought that we go nuclear i think i said no then but every day i'm like man vladimir putin's looking like a fool every day man he's looking this this is a guy who's already like little man complex and dude on the world stage like yeah think about how we talk differently about him you know 18 months ago we saw him on that fucking horse and we're like his military those leaders are so much cooler than our leaders i wish we had the putin kind of guy he does judo and plays hockey and everyone's

scared to hit him he's so awesome now it's like he's short he wears platform shoes and makes bad decisions i mean his hockey clips have never been cool he's always been bad at hockey you know in a way that like watching it i'm embarrassed for him he's terrible kyle i give you you spend three days with me and you're better at ice hockey than vladimir putin three days i've seen him skate he can skate effectively he goes i saw him go down to a knee once that fucker couldn't do a crossover to save his life he's pushing back like he's just as bad at judo he's terrible oh he's bad at you yeah you don't have to get good at judo when you're putin you're like wow i just dominated the world the russian champion 10 times oh but you see it like

like i go to throw you and it's like what you jumped over that man so um i i i am a little bit more worried that he's going to use a tactical nuke for some reason i don't know to just just be like i do have a big dick and like like like like launch one off they've got so many too like i think they've got a lot of shit on i think they have more than we do don't they yeah they're like the only people with more than us so yeah zach wrote two interesting things because we agreed to have left russia feared to be planning major nuclear test nuclear test near border with ukraine so that's interesting it's not a it's a threat right they're gonna bomb their own land next to the ukrainian border to test their weapon okay

and then the other is nato nato's issued an intelligence report to its members and allies warning that the kremlin is planning to test so-called doomsday poseidon nuclear torpedo drones Poseidon nuclear torpedo drones. Zach, would you find out what a doomsday nuclear Poseidon drone is real quick? I saw the Poseidon missile graphic and it's enormous. It's a

huge intercontinental... Is that that missile he was bragging about a decade ago? I think it can go around the world twice or something with a nuclear payload. I hope it blows up their own sub. That's a waste of time. Go around the world twice? What a bragger. You only need to go around the world twice or something I hope it blows up their own sub That's a waste of time Go around the world twice? What a bragger You only need to go around the world halfway I'm not going to be

I'm not going to be impressed with anything they do anymore honestly At this point I feel like if they shot all their nukes at once like half of them wouldn't even work Like Dude, if half of them didn't work the world is over no i don't think we're all dead but so i don't think so so everybody thinks that like we all

be dead but like um the first 400 missiles that they shoot have to go to out west to our missiles right so that that's 400 right away that At least, if they only shot one missile for each of ours to destroy the silos. I mean, it would be catastrophic if this happened at all. They're not going to hit Missouri. If you think they're wasting an ICBM

on St. Louis, they checked you out from satellite orbit. Kyle, the reason that our s up the biggest sissified co-host is scared is he hasn't seen cancer yet. You and I know that cancer radiation.

Yeah. You just because you've never stared at the eye of cancer like Kyle and I. I don't understand. You guys aren't afraid. You're going to be like you're going to get that perk and fall out where you're recharged by the...

That's right. I've played a lot of Fallout, Taylor. I have no fear of a nuclear apocalypse, okay? I look forward to it. You can do it. It's real, and you're like, I actually have to eat old sardines? Will Ferrell on his

short stint in the office was like, I'm not saying I'm immortal, but if someone were to shoot me in the head, I'm pretty sure I'd be just fine. Pretty sure everything would be alright. That's great. Alright, we should probably wrap it up there. I'm going to check on my fucking dog.

PK and 424.