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P.K. and 425.
Taylor, you wanted to talk baseball?
Oh, would love to hear about baseball.
You must like dicks in your ass because you played the Philadelphia Phillies and that's what you got.
Dude, I love zero to 60 Woody sometimes.
You want to talk about baseball?
Well, you must like getting piped up the ass.
I love that.
Yeah. So how's it going? woody your team is up one oh uh
yeah oh my god and it's best of five i wonder if the braves were embarrassed by that performance
early on for sure yeah it was bad early on um uh our starting our starting pitching was bad he kept
he he got down to like two outs and two strikes twice and then gave up some runs
and it was just like come on you're one out away uh one strike away um but but you guys jumped up
on us like seven to one i think something like i have and then like the night yeah we came back
and brought it within one but doesn't seven yeah perfect yeah. But I like to rephrase it as, try as you might, you can't win.
Well, we were supposed to know, like, by now we should have known.
You might as well be the Atlanta Cardinals at this rate.
Game 2 was supposed to kick off an hour and a half ago, but it's raining here in Atlanta.
So they're going to make it a night.
This is playoffs, so they'll sit there until 8, 9 p.m.
They'll play until 2 in the morning if they got to, I bet.
Yeah. Zach confirmed Philly 7 atlanta 6 but uh yeah i don't yes i'm as you guys know i'm pretty into baseball this is really my identity it's your whole thing all three of us love it
we all have a favorite i was about to say character mine is the uh the fanatic i said i couldn't name anyone on the squad now i can i remember
the fanatic actually shit yadi is retired poo holes is gone wayne wright retired i think
i don't know a single person on the cardinals anymore i don't know who my favorite dude you
guys had a great season.
It was a shame that pool host didn't get to go a little deeper.
That would have been like one of those stories,
but,
but him for him to get over 700 and to do it the way he did,
just really pile them on there at the end.
And those last couple of weeks,
it was real cool to see good for him.
Yeah.
I never thought I never like,
I don't have really an idea of his personality.
So that means that he's not an asshole he is beloved here beloved what's that guy from the
phillies is it bryce harper is he the like the most hated man in baseball um by the braves probably
no no no no like humanity like like the guy he's either right field or first base or something
he's the crazy guy with the he was rookie of the year like six years ago.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, that sounds like grace.
He's absolutely despised.
You know, baseball really has –
I wanted to get your perspective from the sports that you guys watch.
I think Woody's might primarily be basketball these days,
and Taylor's is definitely hockey, I would say.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, MMA aside because i do watch team sports of the team sports because i uh i never really care for
regular season baseball i always watch postseason baseball though i try to and i'm watching this and
it doesn't look like the same game that it used to be it's it's real everybody used to be so
respectful and there used to be so many uns unwritten rules where like you didn't show up
a pitcher if you had a home run unless you want to get hit with a really hard fastball next inning
and and let's say you weren't going to get when you say hit you mean literally the player we're
gonna plunk you yeah yeah don't you flip don't flip your bat don't look at it for too long like
i mean if you just won the world series like nobody fucking can't we did it but like if you're
just showing the guy up to show him up like it's a big deal like people used to get plumped for just
staring back at the picture for too long on game 31 of 180 yeah yeah for real yeah it and there's
this there's this like um revenge sort of rule where it's like okay so we can't get you back
so we're gonna hit one of your guys how about that oh your guy's not
going up today we're not playing again until next month see him in the next month asshole the first
time we see you next month we're hitting you and that's how it was and i'm shocked that like like
i was watching a bunch of acuna's highlights he's like all right he's our star player somehow we
signed this um south american kid i don't know which country he's one of those brown fellas somehow we signed this guy to like a it's a good contract don't get me
wrong he'll never want but he's one of those players that should be getting like the quarter
billion dollar deal and that's just for starters yeah and just wait till he runs out the quarter
billion because then it's gonna be it you know a trillion we got it for like 25 million or something i don't know the exact numbers but it's super cheap but, you know, a trillion. We got it for like $25 million or something.
I don't know the exact numbers, but it's super cheap.
But I was just watching some of his highlights,
and he's flipping the bat, and he's doing like the fucking suck my dick,
and I'm like, I don't care if you're my guy or not.
Like, you're not my guy.
You're a dickhead, dude.
Like, I really don't like that stuff.
But is he good enough?
He's good enough to get away with it?
He's tremendous.
See, it sounds like you enjoy the culture of hockey
because that very much is a thing in hockey
where if someone on the Washington Capitals named Tom Wilson
takes a run at one of our guys in the preseason three years ago,
hypothetically, and injures him,
then every time the Blues play the Washington Capitals that year,
Braden Shen is trying to injure Tom Wilson.
And the Capitals are even, you look at Tom Wilson's game time.
Because if you let them get away with it,
then your guy's not safe going forward.
And you could, if I recall, you could even see that
when the Blues played the Caps,
it's like Tom Wilson, one of their first line centers,
he got less play time against the Blues.
I wonder why.
Well, because the Blues were pissed at him
injuring people two preseasons in a row.
And so they were willing to take some bad penalties to hurt him at times.
I guess they've done a lot of things.
I know for a while they were looking the other way on the foreign substance stuff with pitchers.
You guys familiar with how big a—
Like how they put stuff on the ball and make it curve?
Yeah, what's it called?
Spider tack or something?
I saw a guy getting the back of his ears checked, and the guy getting checked seems like— like catch you down after every man like oh no no no not just getting after all right maybe i
got this wrong but my understanding was the current policy is we're patting you down after every every
time you come off that mound and i was watching and as soon as the pitcher came off the mound
he walks up the ump ump takes his glove all right yeah you're good getting the dugout did they check his ass for vibrating beads
they're gonna need to start they don't do that to podcast hosts do they
i've got i've got follow-up info on that on that cheating poker whore um but uh but but yeah um
you gotta plunk people if they're acting out of character. It's just part of the game. It's called beaning, isn't it?
It's called hitting somebody real fucking hard with a baseball.
I don't know.
I'm sure there's lots of old timey words for it.
He ate a crab apple for that one, didn't he?
Throw him an old crab apple.
That is totally the kind of thing they would say in turn of the century.
Oh, and Thompson got crab apple on that one.
It's old Kyle Crabapple
Myers.
Sometimes he puts ricin on the ball.
All right, so
since 2015?
Numbers.
They've been
tracking stats in baseball a little bit differently.
I think they got a different radar gun, and
now they're able, I don't know if it's because of the gun, but
somehow or another, they can read the the rpms on the baseball when they
when they when they when the pitcher throws it they're able to measure the rpms and that's a huge
um statistic for movement on baseballs and just how good your pitcher is and you could see there
was a i can't remember the pitcher's name might be that granky guy um but anyway he was like
everybody's cheating i gotta stop with the cheating.
I could cheat and I'd be so much better.
And then he's like, you better stop it or I'm going to start cheating.
And then one year he cheated.
And you see his RPM go from numbers, making him up.
1,200 to like 1,500.
And it was like, I think I'm not going to cheat this year.
And they go back down to 1,200.
Like that sticky shit.
And what you can do, it's's bullshit batters get rosin they've got our
pine tar which is just the tackiest gluey as shit ever but all you get as a pitcher is dirt
and the rosin bag the pitchers bat sweat the pitchers do bat well not anymore they used to
but um they got rid of that but um i have seen instances. I saw a pitcher. He got pine tar on his pants from his at bat and to like get out of any
system.
He like rubbed his ass on the mound like a dog.
You know how like a dog will like skid its butt on the car.
He did that to the mound to get the pine tar off his pants and like be
beyond.
What is the penalty?
I was going in the other direction.
Oh yeah.
The game.
Hey, I have a little pine tar left over
from batting two innings ago.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shit happens.
Well, I mean, they'll come up there and inspect them,
and if they find a big old wad of pine tar
or that spider tack or whatever it's called
or anything crazy now,
they throw them the fuck out of the game.
They just throw them out.
So let's say a guy has been pitching with pine tar for six innings and then they catch him and throw him out there's no punishment for
the first portion it's just like well we missed it as far as i know no i don't i haven't been
watching enough modern baseball apparently know a lot of the stuff in my day if a catcher was
blocking the fucking plate you knocked him on his ass.
Here's what they did to fix that, to get all those concussions out of baseball.
They told the catcher, unless you have the ball, get the fuck out of the way.
So now catchers cannot stand in front of the plate waiting on that ball.
They got to get the fuck out of the way.
That's a better rule because that makes sense.
You shouldn't be able to impede someone's movement
unless you have the implement that can stop them, because otherwise you're it's just like running it
it's just interference it is interference to some extent you're right it's a little bit like
running outside the lines but but i mean it's just how the game was played and there are some
you've seen them there are some catchers who have gotten knocked the fuck out i think i've seen
fencing response out of a catcher before like like there you get hit by a by a professional athlete sprinting down the line who wants it all he's gonna hit you so hard i mean i as a cardinals
fan i only know what it's like to grow up with the best catcher in baseball history i don't remember
any non-yadier molina catcher yeah was he is he actually the best catcher of all time or is that
is that cardinals hoopla propaganda am i i, I know Javier Molina's name,
but I don't think of him as like one of the greats.
But again, haven't really watched a lot of regular season baseball
in like five years, I'd say.
One of the best, but not the best.
Thank you, Zach.
I appreciate the baseball knowledge.
Speaking of like sports ridiculousness, did you see?
I don't know shit about football.
Don't know shit.
But I know that what happened
to tom brady was not roughing the passer i watched that game you see this this guy's
like for woody's benefit like he grabbed him and he even did the thing you see they do with
with quarterbacks where they don't pow into them they grab them and then kind of rotate their own
body downward and kind of toss them on the ground, like a very gentle way to be tackled.
And he almost put a pillow down for Mr. Brady and they called it on him.
It was literally just an old man bias.
Like you can't throw a 45 year old like that.
They did the exact thing.
They did exact same thing in the in the Monday night football game.
I was watching.
It was Raiders and Chiefs.
It's a really good game.
The Raiders jumped out to 14 or 17 to nothing
against the unbeaten Chiefs.
Or maybe they're 4-1, whatever.
4-1, yeah, because the Eagles are only an unbeaten team.
But Mahomes comes back and beats them.
But there's one part where they sack him
and they get control of the ball, too.
They grab him from behind.
They have the ball.
And he puts his...
The guy who's making the tackle uses his left hand to
break both players fall you know what i mean like you can crush somebody when you're going down with
him you can just give it all to him or you break he's breaking the fall with one hand he's like
holding the ball to his chest with the other lands doesn't smush and then rolls off of the qb and
they're like ah roughing the passer who cares cares that you knocked the ball loose and recovered it.
Give him back the fucking ball, give him his yards and let him go again.
It was like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
And I saw a clip of the Kansas city quarterback who is a normal quarterback
having the same thing done to him and they didn't call it.
Maybe the other way around.
I can't remember where they're at.
Cause I remember the Kansas city fans being absolutely melting down like you know when they there's always like some
super fans they put the camera on there was a guy wearing a um a sport coat that was made to look
like they're like uh their logo the the the kansas city logo and he's his face is painted and he's screaming. He's, yeah, that's the guy
you cut to. You don't cut to some guy going,
yeah, that's how I am with the Phillies.
Woody's out there
spazzing out. I'm not even there.
I'm here. I'm in my living room.
Just dressed like a fanatic.
Just wearing
cheap knockoff
Phillies gear. Are you green man over there
have you seen those fanatics like because you know the company fanatics that makes all the
sports gear they have like a monopoly on it and it's like really poor quality like there was a
guy on the hockey reddit who kept trying to order a b Bruins hoodie from Fanatics,
and he kept posting it being like,
there is no team called the Boston Senators.
And it's just a picture of Otto's logo on a Boston hoodie.
And he's like, this is the second time.
It says, I don't know where they got.
They had two Boston Senators.
They don't even send those to like kids in Somalia,
like just for the fanatics.
But yeah,
it was,
it was definitely ridiculous seeing those football comparisons because like
refs in every sport,
they're gauging response when they make a call.
You have to,
you're human.
Like you're viscerallycerally intaking information.
When Tom Brady went to stand up after that very mild hit,
he stood up like a 45-year-old man,
whereas the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback,
when he stood up, stood up like a spry young quarterback.
And so I'm sure the ref is just like, yeah, that doesn't matter.
I can't remember if it was the Raiders QB that got hit.
I can't remember which one it was. that doesn't matter. I can't remember if it was the Raiders QB that got hit. I can't remember which one it was.
It doesn't matter now.
But I got some package so I could watch all of the sports ball games.
Nice.
Even hockey?
Yeah.
We got that play it forward bet going after the Cardinals got molested
by the Phillies.
Well, that only works if my Braves beat the Phillies.
Otherwise, you got to ship that five over to Woody.
See, I'm giving you a little time on that five.
Woody will want it immediately.
He will not run for it.
He might as well pay up now.
We're already leading in the series.
I'll push it to the first Canes-Blues game.
Make it 525.
525.
The Philadelphia Flyers coach who's currently torturing them and everything,
he had a quote where he was talking about how the process of teaching them work ethic and all this stuff, He was talking to the media and they're like,
how's it going with the team and everything?
He's like, going as well as you can hope.
I swear, players these days have the attention span
of an amoeba.
Tortorella is my new favorite coach.
It's like, oh, okay.
It's not going well.
He's a funny dude.
He immediately goes. He's one of dude. He immediately goes.
He's one of those guys that the second they get fired from a coaching job,
ESPN's like, revolving door open for you.
Because he'll just show up, and he's one of the guys.
You know how sports go.
Someone could do something egregious,
and someone who was previously into sport has sort of a loyalty to the players
to be like, I see where he lost his temper there.
Inexcusable, but I get this.
He will go up there and be like, guys, i don't want to go over the line here but that
coaching job was retarded like you have to be a stone cold idiot a mouth-breathing moron to try
and run that strategy pulling the goalie with four minutes left i'm looking for a job montreal
i'm looking for a job montreal and he'll do shit like
that and he's he's a very funny charismatic guy i like it but very much disliked after year three
of any any team after three years i saw a really interesting stat from the ukraine war um the uh
the largest donator of military hardware to Ukraine is Russia.
They have captured more equipment from Russia
than what the United States has given them in every category.
But they're not getting good stuff.
Yeah, well, I mean, they're getting better stuff than they have.
As good as the Russians have.
But not as good as what we have.
Well, nobody's got as good of stuff as what we have.
We're three levels ahead.
I thought it was funny so they're ready for the rain had started off with a lot of russian gear like they weren't
initially like a nato armed force although they're becoming one um so anyway like their artillery
fires russian rounds and they were out of them not out of them but they were really low they had to
start conserving their ammo and they couldn't wage the war that they wanted to.
And then as they move forward, they're like,
never mind, we have a surplus of ammo now.
The Russians keep leaving it behind
in every town we take over.
Apparently they captured an enormous amount of ammo last week.
So another thing about the way they moved.
One of those war dogs warehouses, I bet.
I watched this guy talking about how
How the Ukrainians took all that ground last week and and they were talking about it It was the same thing
They said that was used in the Iraq war when we took Saddam's palace here what they called it
They called it a something run like a not a cannonball run, but something else
They just take a bunch of light vehicles and they give them orders.
You're going to go through.
You're not going to stop.
If the vehicle breaks down, everyone get out.
There are more empty vehicles coming to get you.
No one stops.
And they just went through Baghdad all the way to the palace.
Like a blitzkrieg.
Yeah, all the way to the palace with light vehicles not tanks and
with a news crew embedded and just all of a sudden and america's conquered saddam hussein's
palace here in baghdad and it was just like they were so demoralized that they were planning to do
three runs i guess and but the second one was so effective the war was essentially over as far as
you know the republican guard and like the iraqi army and
the ukrainians i watched a video of it they weren't in tanks they weren't in armor personnel
carriers or bt whatever the fucks they were in toyotas and they are hauling so much ass
tailgates are doing that thing where you like that ain't never gonna be right those are way
quicker than that do that through a tailgate i don't care if it is a toyota they just hauled so much ass that they pushed back
many kilometers and the russians were terrified so they turned around and ran isn't that weird
that like that strategy was like forged in world war ii because like previously like you didn't
have tanks and things and so like the french when they got blown past by that Blitzkrieg Nazi approach,
they must have been like, oh, we are losing the battle.
Oh, they will stop right after us and then conscript us and throw us in jail.
No, they're not stopping.
They're going to, oh, we should, this is bad news.
Like, that has to be a bad feeling. They, like, like, they just like that. That has to be a bad feeling.
They're like, all right, the Germans overtook us, arrest us, get to throw us in jail.
And then they just keep.
There's a lot to learn from this war.
Like, I can't recall the last time two well-armed governments have fought each other.
I mean, sure, America ran through iraq and america fought with afghanistan
and i'm sure there's been other fucking third well the the ak's in somalia went against the
ak's in sudan or something like that i don't give a fuck haiti but when's the last time like russia
went against ukraine or you know like two armed countries and i keep beating the same drum when we lost the battleships
we learned battleships weren't the way that naval battles were conducted anymore it's aircraft
carriers and battleships are just bullshit the planes can take out there is a changing i think
we're learning now what works in a well-armed ground war you know are tanks still any fucking good given the
javelins take out tanks do you want to have expensive tanks or cheap tanks where's air
power on this thing uh i don't i don't think i don't think this is a good example i don't think
we can learn from it exactly because we wouldn't because the russians are fighting so poorly and
like they're not using combined arms they talked talked about those 20 million dollar anti-air systems being put, you know, being pushed forward,
then running out of diesel because of all the corruption in their military.
I think this was well known, but it was new to me.
They're like rookies talk about rockets. Experts talk about logistics.
That's how war is won. And if you had told me like yeah i was in the
army i ran a warehouse or you know i drove a truck i'd be like oh yeah so not very important i guess
now i know differently like oh yeah that's actually where wars are won manufacturing capability
logistics etc they don't have the manpower either it's it it's the the big one of the bigger problems
is they just don't have enough ivans out there with ak's right like they i saw them right down what
yeah not nearly enough like they have more than ukraine no i'm talking about per unit they're
each every single unit like like broken down has like seven out of ten of the men it should have
in it that's why they don't have it so when if if they're i can't remember what the unit's name is but it's like 10 tanks and then 30 uh armored vehicles and then it's supposed to be
like three or four hundred men on foot protecting those vehicles out walking in front killing those
assholes with javelins and yeah and as soon as one pops up they're supposed but they're not working
together and their air force isn't working with them either. Somehow for the listener,
if you're not a war expert like me combined arms,
Kyle used that term.
It's when like the,
the planes in the sky,
the boots on the ground and the tanks are all working together.
You know,
it tanks are only good if they're not vulnerable to javelins.
If they've run around naked,
unprotected by infantry men,
then they're going to
get picked off it's plinking with a 20 another question i have is are javelins effective against
u.s tanks do i would imagine they're effective against any kind of tank i think i was asking
about jamming i wouldn't imagine that um that um there's there's yeah yeah sure armor and jet
and jamming and then the other question is because the russians don't know. Yeah, yeah, sure. Armor and jamming.
Oh, I didn't consider armor. And then the other question is, because the Russians don't have any javelins,
what do the Russians have?
I bet it's not as good as a javelin.
I bet our tanks were rolling across that field and Russians were trying to shoot them.
I didn't know you could have good enough armor on a tank to resist a javelin.
I thought it was like a real fucking big-ass explosion.
I actually heard that there's a there's
an armor technique that works pretty well which is like to put a picture like a sewer grate on top of
the tank and that causes the javelin to explode above the armor instead of like right into it
the the u.s is like or i guess ukraine with the u's you know nato's assistance like this has on a global scale
humiliated and weakened russia in a very and just looking at it from a geopolitics perspective
the us is bending russia over and making it our bitch like it's not even it's not even close think
about this russia's what's been a huge goal of the U.S. for decades.
Get Western Europe and Europe as a whole off of their reliance on Russian power.
And Germany throughout this entire thing, they were mealy mouth and their guarantees to Ukraine because they didn't really want to make a commitment because they like getting power from Russia.
And then and then what happens when, you know, because the U.S. is like, yeah, Germany, we don't like you being dependent on Russian oil.
Suddenly that Russian oil isn't available.
And so the U.S. wins in that now Europe is less dependent on Russian energy.
That's hugely beneficial for the U.S. because now we can sell Europe energy instead of them getting it from Russia.
It also tremendously weakens Russia.
Their big thing is that they create energy.
They sell energy.
And when you eliminate their ability to sell energy, you make their bargaining chips.
You steal their bargaining chip out of their hands and you laugh at them.
And that's what the U.S. has done.
We are destroying them.
Kyle, I don't know the second biggest thing, but I'm going to guess it.
Military weapons exports.
It's arms exports.
And here's the thing.
Not only are the products looking awful right now,
they're looking like the products you don't want to buy
for every reason that's all over social media.
But they can't make more necessarily
and fill those orders because there's a war going on
and they don't have enough for themselves.
One, the amount of smart bombs and munitions they use
goes down every day because they have less every day.
They don't have any way to get the chips anymore.
Are guns and weapons their second
biggest? Yeah, it's arms
exports. Planes, tanks,
bombs, rockets, missiles.
They do a bunch of minerals and metals and stuff.
I was going to guess grains, but
I use psychology instead of knowledge.
I know that
they're the second biggest arms export world behind us. but I use psychology instead of knowledge. I know that a lot of metals,
they sell a lot of metal components.
But you've got, I think China and India
are their two big buyers.
China is slowly coming up with their own shit, right?
And India has got to be looking at this like,
fuck, is Pakistan shooting the American stuff?
They are?
It's got to look bad. It's real nice to have people buy american arms and obviously gp make money like that aspect of school that's the
knee jerk that's why it's good the other part is they become really dependent on you for the
maintenance of it you know i'll see a javelin that javelin has a battery that every 18 months
has to be replaced
i made that up but it sounds about right with my battery experience and uh you know like this this
tank that you buy shit you know you need parts for you know this is a regular wear part this
stuff has to keep the shah of iran had purchased i don't know how many f-14 let me get to my point
sorry so so when they're dependent on us for the maintenance of their army they can't go to
war with us boom they're an ally for india can't wage war against america if they need
fucking tank parts from america they can't go to war with anyone we like either or we'll cut them
off that before the iranian revolution right the shah of iran had bought his air force was american
it was f-14s and uh you know then the revolution happened Air Force was American. It was F-14s. And then the
revolution happened and they couldn't get
parts for F-14s anymore. Now they had
worthless Air Force. Their whole Air Force
was worthless. They had to throw it away and buy MiGs.
Right?
It's a MiG Russian.
You can be hugely influential
if they need you for their gun parts.
Yeah, especially when it's
something technological, right?
Like if it's the missiles that go into a thing or the ammo.
Like I was watching the Ukrainians load one of those new artillery systems
that I guess we gave them or bought for them.
And it's got this arm that reaches out and grabs the shell
as two men lay it on the thing.
And the arm like, cha-cha, like puts it in.
But the shell is $70,000. the thing and the arm like puts it in but the shell is 70
thousand dollars it's 70 000 a shot man it they said it went like 40 or 50 kilometers and it hit
within four meters of the target i think the cost of the american military is a undervalued weakness of it, right?
Like if we get into any kind of war of attrition
and we have $80 million tanks
that are twice as good as their $5 million tanks,
how do you win that?
You know, like that's a problem.
I mean, we can, we're still strong enough
that we can really just kind of economically bully people
into doing what we want.
A lot of people, not China necessarily. I think it was al-qaeda who was like dude we just plant a
flag in the desert and you guys spend 120 million dollars to knock it over we're gonna win this war
and then they did yeah they did what we need to do is just prepare for a very quick pivot
where when china does you know inevitably pass us we all pivot and are like
that's so awesome china we've been pulling for you the whole time and and then we're on their
side and then we in china rule the world until china realizes oh we don't need them to rule the
world are we that sure china's gonna win like i know they're looking good but are they a paper
tiger every day i see them knock down their skyscrapers because half their economy is bullshit anyway so much of what they do is
dependent on stealing tech from us and like but manufacturing like having a manufacturing economy
makes you unbelievably difficult to neutralize through economic threats because like if anything
like a country like us we're like we don't have manufacturing
anymore like if shit got real and we were pushed up against the wall that's a huge problem we saw
that with the inability to provide well hang on lockdown all right so it's true that maybe we
don't make toasters and waffle makers we're kind of a lot of we make a lot of tanks and fighter
jets and bombs and missiles we're that's the stuff we need in
the war right like no no no stuff we made like stuff that keeps your country going like normal
everyday goods that you need to keep a populace maintained throughout we feed the war
food will be fine look how fucking fat we are like We're fine on food. If the US ran out of
food stores for two months, we would
emerge a healthier nation.
Yeah, I had to eat that stuff in the cupboard.
The big negatives of the great food shortage.
It's showing the profit margins
of insulin manufacturers plummeting.
Thankfully, I had
36,000
calories in trail mix ready to go.
I'm going to
beat the American drum and say I like our chances
against anyone and anything at this point
because our stuff just seems so much better
and our army seems so much more professional.
Like, just looking at
the individuals that make up that army.
They're not doing shit right now, are they?
I mean, all over the world. They're working out.
I mean, in Ukraine.
It's the off season.
They're in a fight camp right now.
They're getting trimmed for...
No, the opposite.
They're able to bulk up.
They're getting strong.
We're not at war for the first time in a bit.
Saudi Arabia is fucking with us right now.
And I wonder where this is going to go. So for people who don't
know anything, anything, I'm sure you know something, but
people don't know about this. Saudi Arabia and OPEC have
decided to cut oil production. This is a problem, right? Gas
prices are already high enough. And with Russia not supplying
the kind of oil it does when it's on friendly terms, the
world needs energy.
And Saudi Arabia is like, yeah, sit on my thumb and spin, you fucknards.
We're going to make less of it and drive this price sky high.
The U.S. came to them and said, no, no, no, don't do this.
Don't do this.
We don't want you to cut production.
Be a friend.
We're friends.
Act like a friend.
And they're like, yeah, that thing I said about sit and friend and they're like yeah that's saying that
thing i said about sit and spin do that and that's where we are so biden and mostly the democrats are
kind of like working this and they're like you know what we're not going to sell you arms anymore
all that influence and shit we talked about that's the first place they want to go they're like the
reason iran hasn't fucking beaten the fuck
out of you because you're pussies
is because America has your back.
That's changed. You don't have my back.
I don't have your back. Enjoy your war with
Iran. You're not going to like it.
We'll see how this goes.
If those women
win in Iran and we can switch teams
and be Iran's friend,
that'd be so cool.
Iran is a much more powerful country than Saudi Arabia.
Yeah, but I need those ladies to take over.
Yeah, I'm with Kyle.
I definitely don't want to partner with a team where the women don't dress right.
Honestly, to have a longtime ally that kind of just does whatever we say,
spit in our face a bit.
I didn't know about any of this, but just thinking about it,
that reflects in their mind a perceived weakness of America right now,
if anything, that they think they could get away with that.
I can't argue against that.
One thing that's interesting about the economics of that whole thing,
they're going to make this exact same amount of oil.
What they're saying, they were already falling short of their forecast by like three million barrels or something so they just
said our forecast is now two million less they're still falling short by a million they're still
making the same amount they're just saying they're trying for a lower number and so that'll drive the
prices up what i read and saw on youtube is that that like shorter forecast stuff was kind of like bullshit excuse.
Like, oh, you know, we had maintenance issues.
We had this.
We had that.
It was very much intentional, but that could be conspiracy nonsense.
And they just are falling short of it.
But what I'm seeing is that this is no accident that they're making less of it.
I wasn't implying it was.
No, I wasn't implying it was. No, I wasn't implying it was.
Who knows?
They may be trying to leverage their position
with another third-party actor.
Like someone else going,
hey, you stop this, we'll give you this benefit.
And now, we don't know.
Maybe they cut back because they're reselling Russian oil.
I kind of wish we had a president.
I saw that on a podcast, so it's true.
I believe it then.
Podcasts are notoriously true.
Kyle, I keep cutting you off
no you're good i wish we had a more devious president though because it seems to me
genius kyle that the world is ripe for for change right now like you got you got russia
bogged down in their own thing they're out of anything geopolitical they're they got their
own problems china's got the covet thing they're just barely getting over with, maybe.
And they've got this whole nonsense with Taiwan
and the South China Sea.
It seems like we could make a move somewhere else
and nobody could say boo about it.
China's got economic problems too.
Some sort of real estate nightmare, paper tiger.
I heard there was a drought issue with their hydroelectric,
like some generational drought with that. You know, they got the issue with their hydroelectric like some generational drought
with that you know they got that like the world's biggest hydroelectric dam i remember when they
were building and it was like i knew about that the drought it's such a cool dam it's incredible
i love dams you know what yeah you said that people are always like what about the fishies
what about now look i like fishies, but not as much as dams.
I like lakes.
But nine out of ten fish that I've spoken to like lakes more than rivers.
I like spillways.
I'm going to say it.
Spillways are awesome.
Have you seen a spillway that's been clogged for a while?
And first it's mud, then it's water.
We need more of that content on YouTube.
That's for damn sure.
Have you gone to Hartwell Dam spending time there?
I spent a lot of time in Hartwell Lake. We don't look at the dam that much, but I know that it's cool. It's for damn sure. Have you gone to Hartwell Dam, spent any time there? I spent a lot of time in Hartwell
Lake. We don't look at the dam that much, but I know
that it's cool. It's easy to get to the dam.
You should go and look. You can walk right out on it
and like, I have never
been to the Grand Canyon and seen the Hoover Dam.
I understand it's spectacular. Hartwell Dam
is pretty fancy. I don't know. It's big.
Dams are so neat. I mean, I think
I bet it was about six, eight weeks ago
that I ate a shit ton of edibles and I spent hours watching damn failure videos.
And just looking at the power of water, I'm sitting there stoned like, oh, oh, my God.
Were they failures on purpose?
I watch a lot of damn deconstruction videos, too, where people come in with like.
These ones were just like problems, like an unexpected.
And then they'd even like they'd add text afterward and be like, this gentleman in charge of this said that they didn't reinforce it enough. Then they fired him.
They didn't reinforce it anymore.
And this happened two months later.
And it shows just like a little crack.
And that crack becomes a plume of water going a million miles an hour in about two seconds.
Dams are awesome.
Dam failures are awesome.
Lakes are awesome.
Hard to have.
You can make more awesome lakes if you just throw a dam in there.
Yeah, that's how they got the Ozarks, I think.
Just threw a dam in there and now people get drunk.
And you can't convince me you don't have more fish afterwards.
There's absolutely more fish there now than there were when it was a wetland.
Have you seen where they drilled that
salt mine underneath the lake
and the lake drained
in the middle of a bathtub
crazy
there were people on boats in the lake
they had to flee the big drain hole
I think it was an accident
I don't know why they were drilling
but then they hit a salt mine
and suddenly I guess the mine had enough capacity to drain a lake, and it happened huge and fast.
I think they were mining for salt in their salt mine, and they just went under the lake too much or too high.
Oh, and the salt mine hit the lake.
I'm picturing them coming from the top, which doesn't make any sense.
I feel you.
Yeah, yeah.
But it drained, and I think there's a little bit of footage of of it but just the stories and the terror of being on a boat that didn't like if you had like a little outboard if you're just like
and it was you're like i think i'm moving back six inches a minute
it's scary so if you don't know generally winds are higher up high than they are next to the
ground it's called
wind gradient. And there's like a frictional thing that slows the wind down next to the earth. Cool.
So I launch and the wind doesn't seem that bad. I hit a thousand feet and I'm kind of going forward.
I hit 2000 feet and it's like, I am going backwards. This like, okay, this isn't an
emergency. Everything's chill, but i'm accustomed to going forwards when
i fly this thing and i do want to get back home and now i have to like skim the treetops which
is dangerous because it's a fucking two-stroke the motors go out all the time i don't have like
safe lz's it's a bit sketch so landing zones so you know i'm sure some people in the audience are like what the hell is an lz google it dummy so most of us learn but anyway yeah going backwards on a paramotor it's a little unnerving
at first i get a little bit annoyed like when people look if you come to me and you ask me
like a question that you know i'm gonna know off the top of my head i'm i'm delighted but if you
come to me and you ask me some shit that I'm about to have to Google for you,
I literally told someone the other day,
I had a whole rant.
I was like, look, not to be that boomer guy,
but there's something wrong with you
and your whole fucking generation.
Because maybe it's not cool to you
that your cell phone has all of human knowledge,
but it's still cool enough to me
that I can push the voice button
and ask it the question
rather than type the message and send it to somebody.
You know it'll tell you, right? And they'll be like,
yeah, but how do I do this? It'll do that too!
Say those words into it this time!
It's real frustrating when people
don't understand how fucking Google
works. It's amazing, and
I like that anything
Siri can answer, my truck has
a button on the steering wheel where I can ask Siri things.
Now, it doesn't necessarily Google for web results because verbally it doesn't do that.
But if you're like, hey, how many gallons is five liters?
My truck will tell me because my truck has Apple CarPlay and Apple, you know, the whole down the line.
Our CarPlay has Siri.
Siri will tell you.
And it made my truck better and every
time my phone updates my truck gets a little bit better and i think that's amazing car play is cool
yeah i don't i i get frustrated though if you remember that nobody uses this anymore remember
the thing where you could send them the link and it's uh let me google that for you the most
condescending way to yes i tried to use it a couple months ago and it didn't work.
It didn't work right.
It didn't work. I did the same thing
and it didn't
do the whole thing where it typed it all out.
It didn't take him to the place.
Look, I'm trying to insult somebody here.
You're supposed to help me.
Let me Google that for you. It's an insult website.
What's your problem?
I ordered a wheel and
some pedals um from from uh the xbox i'm gonna try some some racing games i'm so afraid i'm
gonna like it a lot and i'm gonna end up in a goddamn like eight thousand dollar cockpit over
here dude that's appealed to me i i'm sorry i'm a little into auto racing i watch f1 i follow the
news constantly.
Jackie likes F1 too.
So it's a thing that we can talk about together all the time.
She's a huge Max Verstappen fan,
which is a little bit front runner,
but whatever.
And anyway,
so I sometimes take an interest in the racing setup too.
Like maybe I'd like it.
They're not that crazy expensive.
I'm probably doing it the cheapest way possible because I've got the Xbox Series X
which is
the most powerful gaming PC you can get
for the money. Jesus Christ, for
$500?
I was playing Doom last
night at like 120 frames
per second.
It's really slick.
It's a console,
but you can use mouse and keyboard with it. Are you getting better on the sticks or you'd only play in mouse and keyboard?
Oh,
I'm using the,
uh,
the controller for doom on,
uh,
on,
on the Xbox,
but I've got it for PC too.
It's just convenient.
I've got a TV downstairs that's 4k and does 120 frames.
So I,
uh,
I like to use that with the Xbox.
It works real well.
I wanted to ask,
did you make the account on that Darktide thing yet
and see if you can actually play or do anything at all?
So I think they send you an email.
So I put my email in and submitted it,
and I think they're going to pick either 20,000 or 40,000 people
for the closed Darktide beta.
I don't know which.
But if you Google, anybody's listening to this
and they want to try to get in line,
if you Google Darktide beta, you'll find the link.
We're internet people.
Is there a way to get up the list?
I don't know.
I don't know of anybody or anything.
Hi, I'm an internet person.
Yeah.
Listen, Dark Tide, I have an offer for you.
I'm the third most popular host on a semi-popular podcast and i'm
willing to play your game let me tell you this i've got 3.1 million twitch followers to your
knowledge and don't i i got uh don't check it no don't look at it. Trust me. I'm a person of color and I wouldn't lie.
No,
I'm looking forward to playing it,
whether I've got to wait till November 30th or not.
But,
but yeah,
it'd be,
it'd be good to get into that beta.
What was the other thing that I,
Oh,
that I wanted to talk about that goddamn leak in my yard.
Oh,
it was so awful.
I hadn't talked about it,
but so since I moved in like three and a half like
three months i think uh there's been a water leak in my yard in my front yard bubbling to the top
of the ground and then running through my yard into the street all day every day call them twice
a week minimum hey it's still going so y'all know i'm not gonna pay this water bill y'all paying this
water bill and they're like yeah yeah we'll pay the water bill all right you know i don't really
care about the creek that you guys have out here but so you know it's still going and so months go
by water company comes by knocks on my doors hey do you know you've got a a massive leak in your
yard i'm like yeah that's pretty cool he's like i gotta turn your water off
i gotta turn the water off here you used 230 000 gallons last month and i was like really
well my property manager doesn't seem to mind like well i won't have any water
so he lives he's like yeah i know that's't have any water. So he leaves.
He's like, yeah, I know.
That's the idea or whatever.
And I was like, shucks.
And I watch him through the blinds as he drives away.
And I walk right outside, turn the water right the fuck back on.
You're not going to turn my water off.
It's my water.
What am I supposed to be like?
Be like saving pee up in the toilet all day for that one shit flush.
Get the fuck out of here.
It's my water. Yeah. So I turn my poop in in the morning i don't want to spend that flush early i turn the
water back on and uh and i and i call the uh the company again i'm like hey uh water company came
by and shut the water off i don't tell them that i turned it back on not because i'm embarrassed
or thinking i'm in any trouble just because i want them to. They should think that there's a problem.
They should think they need to get out here.
I was like, yeah, they turned the water off.
Also, they said it's going at about a quarter million gallons a month.
Just so you know, in Atlanta, that's about $8 a thousand.
So you can do the math.
Whatever you want to fix it, just let us know.
We're going to start charging you for every night I stay in a hotel.
By the way, it will be a pet-friendly hotel.
And I'm thinking about doing it in Vegas.
That repairman was here at 7 p.m. on a Sunday night digging.
First of all, not his fault.
He's not the cocksucker that did all this but i feel terrible for him i'm
sure he's getting paid well i didn't ask but he he's in a mucky mud hole like world war one style
up to his like waist digging up digging this shit up at night with no proper lighting it's cold but yeah water's fixed now uh it must have cost them
four thousand dollars for not just calling a plumber doing it yeah just not doing it but um
and the water department hadn't been billing them the water department was unaware that there'd been
a resident there since march i've been only there for since july or june something like that so
water was free so now they're going back and charging them for lots of water.
So who knows how much they just got fucked over
because they couldn't send a repairman.
And the best part is nobody will get fired and nobody will care
because that's just how those companies are made now
so that you can never get to an actual manager.
At least with a credit card company,
if you make a big enough stink on the phone, you get a guy who can do things to accounts. That'll never happen with this company.
You'll always get that bottom level person who will be like, I put the ticket in. Oh yeah,
I see where the other lady put the ticket in. It's right here. I'll also put a ticket in.
So as far as you'll ever get, unless you start talking about lawsuits.
I'll also put a ticket in as far as you'll ever get, unless you start talking about lawsuits.
That's what you get with some customer service people.
It's like almost malicious noncompliance where it's like they're trying to upset you with how bad they're doing. And it's like, dude, like I know you talk to assholes all day.
I need my electric turned back on because I paid my bill and I emailed you the bill.
Where are we at?
Well, I submitted a complaint. It's like, no, fuck you. And then, you know, a lady tried to rush me the other day after
I'd been, I was on hold so long. I, you know, when you go about your, your routine, just leaving the
phone on hold and you start being shocked by how much you've accomplished since you've been on hold.
I had made a 20 minute drive, done some shit and gotten back accomplished since you've been on hold. I had made a 20 minute
drive, done some shit and gotten back home and I'm still on hold. It's, it's been almost an hour,
55 minutes. And, uh, and she, and she finally gets me on the phone. I don't remember the specifics
of what the issue was, but it was serious. Obviously that's why I'm on the phone this long.
And she's like, sir, if you could just hurry along along i got a lot of other customers to get to and i'm like are you trying to rush me off the phone i've been on hold for an hour you're gonna
listen until i'm done dude i was i hate those people so much trash company didn't come and get
my trash cans three out of four weeks. So this is like a trash catastrophe in
my house. I get, we produce enough trash that we need you every week. If we have to go two weeks
with one of those trash can fulls, it's difficult, but three out of four, it's a problem. So I'm
calling them and I can't get service by the way, every week they don't come. I call them because
of the day trash day is I just ended up leaving a voicemail and they're not coming it takes them so long to get back to me they're like well i mean
trash day is friday and it's already wednesday so we're just gonna you know come friday anyway
i'm on hold and i'm on hold i'm on hold because it's midweek and i really have to get this freaking
problem solved so while i'm on hold i call one of their competitors and i hire one of their competitors and i'm still on hold with this
fucking company their competitor is like dude like what's your trash situation now right do you want
to do and i was like we are overflowing we need you asap you know because they're like when do
you want to start and they're like well actually we can send a guy while i'm on hold
our new trash company sends a truck to our house and takes the trash and i still haven't it's like
an hour and 20 minutes yeah and and then they finally pick up the phone and i fire them and
that's how the call went i got that's the same walk right now all right so same thing maybe one
out of four weeks they got a dispute with the fucking company
about tonnage or some shit. There's a Tony Soprano at the heart of my woes. I guarantee it.
But in any way, they're not picking my garbage up. And I make a lot of garbage, Amazon boxes
and whatnot. And now I got this puppy pissing on pee pads. And every time I fold them up and put
them in their own little garbage bag and I dispose of that shit because I don't want smelly urine and
shit in my house,
so I fucking get it out there.
And it's overflowing out there.
It's two weeks now.
They've missed it.
Here's the thing, though.
I got them.
This is a non-HOA lease I have with them,
but an HOA has been put in place,
so they had to pay the HOA fees.
They are beholden to the HOA, not me.
So the garbage will pile high.
It will pile as high as they want it to be.
It's up to them how high it gets.
Cover your nose.
We're approaching the Myers house.
It's piled high up there right now.
Garbage overfilling, lid off, four bags around it.
God, he eats a lot of meat.
Good contractors are hard to find, but I got a whole guy.
I got a whole guy in this area.
He's amazing.
He'll get an excavator, shovel, whatever you need.
You need a hole or a trench dug.
I got a guy who comes when he says he's going to come and digs where he says he's going to dig.
And shockingly, doesn't hit anything else.
If you want your internet to still be intact afterwards,
this is the guy you call.
Anyway, I have a hole or water bubbling to the surface,
and at first I kind of ignored it. I tried to convince myself the rain was just making a puddle
in this one particular spot for a couple days in a row.
A little bit of a carbonated puddle.
It's funny how this pud puddles kind of at the top
of the hill, but you know, puddles are funny things.
Maybe it's a natural spring!
Ah,
physics, the Lord's mystery.
So anyway, Jackie
is like, I think there's a leak
under here. I think, mate, hear
me out. You see how the well is here and the
stable's here, and that's right about where the
water would go. Do you think maybe it's damaged or frozen i was like yeah that seems more likely
than my miraculous puddle theory so i call my whole guy and i don't know if he's fucking with
me i think he might be he's still a great whole guy but he pulls out a witching stick like a a
piece of copper bent in 90 degrees he's holding in his hand
and he says this is how i locate water and he seems to believe this he seems to be wholeheartedly
invested in this stick being pointing towards the water i think it's called a witching stick
does this sound right to other people okay water dousing water dousing and and i'm not buying it
i'm just this seems like hocus pocus to me, but he buys it.
And he has a partner there.
Witching rod, too.
The employee is like, you know, I didn't believe it either.
But there's a technique to it, and it works.
This is how we always find underground water.
And now it's two people trying to convince me that the witching stick works.
I Google it.
people trying to convince me that the witching stick where i google it and zach has various controlled scientific studies over the last hundred years have repeatedly found that water
dousing does not work yeah of course not so so i that's where my head is what i don't know
is if he's playing a trick on the stupid customer or if he believes it. So the explanation here seems to be that because of the earth being the way it
is,
you can drill down anywhere to a certain depth on almost anywhere and get
water almost anywhere.
And so it's like,
you're right here.
Oh,
keep going.
Keep going.
Oh,
didn't hit it yet.
Go a little deeper.
I've never had a,
I've drilled a lot of wells every time.
Yeah.
I've never not hit some water. It lot of wells every time yeah i've never
not hit some water it's always a wet hole but but but i don't remember how many gallons per minute
you need maybe it's eight it's something like that to like run a household because it's not
like you need the content you know it fills a reservoir within the within the well and then
the eight i think a that's that's in my head. I drilled
three wells at one place
and got nothing but like moisture
again and then we did two board wells
at my dad's place. One of them went
deep. So the drilled
well is like as big around as you can
reach with your arms and then the board well,
I might have this backwards, but it doesn't matter.
But then the board well,
if I don't have them backwards,
is a smaller bit, like six inches.
Like the human head.
Yeah, I think roughly six or eight inches, and it goes deep.
I don't know how deep they can go,
but hundreds and hundreds of feet is not a problem.
But it's more expensive, obviously,
and you've got a different kind of well pump.
They use these long cylindrical well pumps that look neat, like a space probe or something that's submerged.
Looking at the water dousing sticks that are kind of connected into a fork.
They always bring those out is what I was going to say.
They hold them underhand like this.
It seems like after you're looking for a certain amount of time, you're going to naturally loosen your grip and cause it to go down.
And no matter where you are you're likely to
hit water if you're in like an area used for agrarian pursuits he started with the light so
his was just a 90 degree angle and he kind of tipped it down and looked to see which way it
steered but you like balance it into such a way that it can almost go left and right on its own
and it's almost like a Ouija board where I know intellectually
that we are pushing this thing around.
That was slightly different than his.
But it does feel like it's not me moving it.
But you know what?
If he's a really good hole guy,
let him cast spells out there.
Who cares?
Let him have a water seance.
That's what gets it done.
You should have been out there with
an even wackier thing like like like spinning it around your head like keep your distance
you're like hey careful you know you know guys i'm gonna try and echo locate it
echolocated.
Crawling around with your ear to the ground.
Oh my god, this woman's found water everywhere. Look where she is.
This is different.
Look where she is.
I love to go out there and say,
you don't want that water.
An empty glass Coke bottle
and a flat service and just play spin the bottle looking for water and kiss them now and then because rules are rules.
Yeah.
Sorry, bro.
It's pointing right at you.
I feel like my strategy would be like, look how fucking green that area is.
Well, you could see the water.
Like to me, I'm like, well, it's probably from where the water is coming up, right?
The puddle that's at the top of the hill, that's where I think it's coming from.
Well, see, that seems like cheating.
You can't start water dousing when you know the source of it.
Because you can just be like, you point over there,
and then you pretend to be like a three stooge,
like struggling to hold back as it's pulling you towards the water.
Wait a minute.
I just realized how ridiculous this whole thing is.
He was doing the water witching on a leaky water line?
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh, he's an asshole.
Okay, that's a joke.
That's a joke.
I think it's an asshole.
He's a good old guy.
So every time I've ever drilled, they've always brought it out.
And I've asked my dad.
That's who I would...
Yeah, they always get that out.
Yeah, they always say they can find it.
I don't know.
They didn't find shit, did they?
I'm like, no, no, they didn't.
There you go.
That's how I found out it was bullshit.
Did you find any fucking water?
And they charged me $100.
You were talking about customer service,
getting things like that taken care of.
I've never really had to...
A handful of times in my life i've had
to make a big stink on customer service but most recently my wife and i that john mulaney show we
went to the comedy show we got there and yeah he was very very funny i like him too we got there
and i had the ticket master tickets and like you have to pull it up on your phone and then click
a link from your email and then it takes you to the qr code and whatever and i get up there i had the receipt that like
showed i'd paid for it and every time i went to open it it was like ticket unavailable ticket
unavailable i looked i opened up other web pages pulled up like espn that's working ticket
unavailable unavailable and like i was like this is fucking bullshit we're gonna miss the start of the show and so i just bought new tickets and was like i will handle this fucking later and bought
new tickets there use those to get in and like i'd never really just disputed something with my
credit card like the official way before and after the show and everything i go home we're sitting on
the couch that night and i'm like oh yeah those fucking tickets and so i get on there and i try to go through ticket master and it's
like one of those like planned blockade things where they try and make it difficult and after
like 20 minutes i'm like fuck you honestly like i paid i'm out 250 for 125 tickets for two people
fuck you and so i went in my bank app and was like, dispute charge.
And they asked for the thing, and I was like,
they didn't give me the tickets.
Like, a very straightforward,
like, I paid for tickets,
and they were not given to me.
And it stopped me to be like,
we're about to file a real
complaint. Check these
things first. And it's like, suggestions
like, did you misplace your money like
it's like no i didn't do that dumbass and so i just i have to hit like okay three times and then
at the end it's like we will launch an investigation into this if you file it fraudulently and by the
end i'm like you know what fuck you i had to buy new tickets for the fucking show. I hit file complaint or whatever.
And I swear, I've never gotten more update emails in my life from my bank.
Where six weeks ago, I would get an email that's like,
just wanted to keep you in the loop.
It's automated, but it's like, wanted to let you know,
we are in the middle of our investigation.
And it's like, I can give you... Oh we are in the middle of our investigation and it's like i can reach the middle thank god yeah i can i can speed you forward till the end
to the part where i tried to get my fucking tickets do you think that i like thought man
i'd love an errand like as i was doing that no if you gave me the fucking tickets i would have
just spent the tickets i paid you. You know who's the opposite?
Wayfair.
I bought two things from Wayfair. A kitchen table and a bathtub.
And the kitchen table was missing nuts, right?
So the legs like bolted on and it was missing like two of the nuts or something.
So I at first asked them to send them to me.
And then I was like you
know what i bet i had things that fit and i did they sent a whole new table they sent a second
kitchen table and uh then i'm like no like i i didn't need a whole nother table you can come
get the replacement table it was really just two nuts and i found them elsewhere
you could have your table back still brand new in the box and they're like uh you know how about we
just refund you and you handle the table on your own and it's like oh like you know i'm gonna put
this on craigslist selling it as a brand new table and they basically said well it's better than us
dealing with it yeah brand new table cool so
then we get this bathtub this bathtub's like two thousand dollars it's for my new we did a bathroom
renovation and uh we call them up and underneath the protection there was damage i don't know how
it got there i know it wasn't us we we pulled this big foamy like a pool noodle off the edge of it
and sure enough there's damage underneath that
okay bummer we call them up and we're like can we swap this with a different bathtub
this fucking bathroom was like a tribute to all the hard work i've ever done in my life and we
want it to be perfect and they're like we can give you two hours for repair and we're like nah
swap it with a new one and they're like well we don't have any new ones we can give you a refund and we're like all right do that like yeah dispose of it on your own like so
wait we're keeping the tub suddenly repair is looking pretty good so we got a $200 repair i'm
surprised you didn't do them further like no no no you have to pay for the removal then because you
got it in here what i'm supposed to hire some people of my own expense.
I want $500 to get it out of here.
It's hard to move to this bathtub is at the very limits of my strength,
of my ability to move things.
And I can only pick up one side of the time.
So I'm like lifting half of it.
Jackie's backing the golf cart underneath it.
And then I lift the other half of it and get it on.
It's heavy, heavy, heavy.
It's one of those iron baths over like feet is what it looks like. cart underneath it and then i lift the other half of it and get it on it's heavy heavy heavy it's
one of those iron baths over like feet yeah what it looks like and uh anyway so we got the baths
effectively for 200 you can't tell it's repaired that's wild that's good but i like
karma just paying it forward woody i didn't try to rip them off like i i know but in each case
they didn't want to handle the disposal i would absolutely have tried to rip them off like i i know but in each case they didn't want to handle the disposal i would
absolutely have tried to rip them off you should always try to rip them off
they are that you know like i'm not talking about like some some guy on the street or anything i'm
talking about fucking wayfair way yeah i don't really know about wayfair but like i like your
i like your character of trying to jew people in your words of Kyle Meierstein.
Well, this bathtub is unusual.
I got ripped off by Amazon once.
I bought something for $50, and it was the wrong part.
It was sort of my fault that it was the wrong part.
No, no, no.
It wasn't, actually.
They shipped a part I didn't ask for. That's what it was. And it was a motorcycle part and uh no no no it wasn't actually they they shipped a part i
didn't ask for that's what it was and uh it was a motorcycle part doesn't matter it was worth 50
bucks and they're like you're gonna have to ship it back and i'm like but you sent me the wrong
part this shouldn't cost me anything i shouldn't be out shipping money when you send me the wrong
thing and they're like hey i will reimburse you anyway, I go to ship it back and it's $250 to ship this stupid fucking thing to like Egypt or something.
And I'm like, well, it's not my dime.
So I ship it to Egypt and I fill out the customs form that says it's worth $50.
It gets flagged by like Egyptians customs.
And they're like, no one sends a $50 part for
$250 in shipping.
You're obviously lying to us.
I'm like, actually,
I'm not.
It does happen in situations. Prove it, Egypt.
Fuck you. Someone else paid
for the shipping and they told me to do it.
I'm trying to get my $50 back and they told me to return
it. Anyway, the whole thing
settles. I didn't get my 50 bucks back and they told me to return it and that anyway the whole thing settles i didn't
get my shipping back oh yeah oh no with the shah of egypt
they take they they take american military too those sons of bitches Turn around and do this to Woody. You know what? They've been resting on their laurels for 2005.
Actually, wait.
When was that first Pyramid of Giza made?
About 4,500 years ago.
That sounds right.
4,500 years.
They've been like, look at this pyramid.
Get over it.
Yes.
It's not that cool.
Look at what the greeks did are the greeks that big on their way more if i were in charge we take there's like 4 000 buildings in new york city
that are cooler than your pyramid why are you hanging your hat on that yeah and even of ancient
monuments you know what's like cooler is like the sophisticated corinthian columns of of rome and
egypt whenever i'm sorry rome and egypt whenever
i'm sorry rome and greece to the normal i would take my house over that pyramid it has four wi-fi
points it has a dog shit layout have you seen how much is livable terrible it's mostly rocks
i watched those videos and they're like who knows what secrets could lie at the heart of
the great pyramid and i'm like tear it fucking what secrets could lie at the heart of the Great Pyramid?
And I'm like, tear it fucking down! Let's find out!
Other than anyone who'd walked inside.
It's full of dust.
But it is ancient dust.
The kind that makes you laugh.
That's it. I need to stop there.
Yeah, we should probably stop here.
Alright, PKN 425.
The Great Pyramids.
So-so pyramids.
The Sphinx.
This is never going to end.
Is Zach gone?
Did he die?
Is Zach dead?
He says, what the hell?
Well, this is the long show.
And rap.
You have one job. I don't think it's his fault. He says what the hell well, this is the long show and rap job I
Don't think it's his fault. I don't have to be here for this part