Painkiller Already - PKN 441

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

pkn 441 last of us talk yes yeah i want to know what you guys thought i thought it was tremendous so what do you what do you just began the series last night or the night before whenever he caught up recently yeah you watched them all three in a row or you spread it out a little i think the first night i watched one and sort of fell asleep during two so i started two over and watched two and three nice nice so what do you what is your overall sort of like feelings on the quality of this show thus far like like what do you think i am shocked that a video game show is so good and i came into it with a bias against it i had seen a quote from showrunner producer i don't know but it was he had said he never played last of us and already even though i've never played last

of us i'm like you're bad that probably should have yeah he said another thing that bugged me he was like you know games were basically just shooting asteroids and pac-man and super mario brothers and last of us changed all of that and i'm like fuck you you know so little about video games who gave you this job so that's the bias i came into with that yeah but this guy's very good at making tv shows he's really really good stop interviewing that guy he's doing i'm told by like game people who love the game that there's an open there's a sequence there in the in the beginning. I think maybe it's where the outbreak is happening. And, you know, they're there.

Maybe when the soldier takes the daughter and how and how she gets in her trouble with all that. They said it's beat for beat taken from the game. And it's amazing how accurately they portrayed it. Now, I've never picked the game up it seemed to me like more of a girl game frankly that's not to say it's a bad game but just more of a story-driven female protagonist kind of game which i bet is awesome but it's just not what i like to play um but man i love this fucking show i really dig it it's awesome beat for beat thing so jackie and i haven't played the game either but she watched uh i'm

sorry she read an article about how it mirrors it and then they show like the scene in the game and then that scene from the show like screenshots and now as i watch the show i can almost see it there's a a scene where they leave the capital and then the capital kind of blows up in the background as the girl is in the foreground. And I'm like, I'd bet a hundred bucks that straight from the game, like that scene,

that cinematic looks exactly like something that would be in a game. And I see different, like what looked like cinematics. And I'm like, this is what gamers watch. This is how they put together a game. This would overview the scene, but that isn't why I like the show so much.

I'm not really a game fan of Last of Us anyway. Kyle set me, I think, up with some good advice. He's like, now's a great time to start it because there's some world building that has to happen. And rather than say, watch that and then wait a week, watch that and wait a week, I got to see the first two, which kind of told you about the world. And then I drop into three, which was a little more story driven. And I'm like, man, if you haven't watched The Last of Us

viewer, now is a great time to start. In my opinion, the first episode, it's not that it's bad, but it's sort of the thing you have to watch to understand the universe and earn your way to the better episodes i've liked every single one of them honestly like i i haven't enjoyed a show this much in a while and zach can you put the spoiler thing down there because i want to talk about a couple specifics because we've all seen the the first yeah and let me let me say, unless you're somebody who really just never cares about spoilers, go watch the show. Don't let us spoil it.

Come back. Go to where this part's no longer there until you see it. But yeah, you guys are talking about the beat for beat cuts. I haven't played the game either, but I saw the video of when the Red Viper, I can't ever remember that dude's name, the actor's name.

Pedro Pascal. Pedro Pascal. When he is with his dead daughter, his dying daughter, it showed the side-by-side scenes, and it is shot for shot. The exact same scene. Even though I haven't played the game,

it was really, really cool. He's killing it. The most recent third episode with Nick Offerman, and I knew he was a good actor but i didn't like i don't have the the i haven't seen everything that he's in other than like parks and rack in a bit that was the most emotional episode of tv i've seen like we talk about kyle will say often like i watched the show and it made me cry and it's like kyle it's a commercial yeah but the dog got the bone at the end everywhere it's 94 100 pure but why are you crying dude when i was watching like the like

the nick offerman's like partner with als and they're like old makeup and face and he's talking like i think it was AL. I thought, I thought stroke. And that's, you're right. I got confused. Not one of those. And he like,

like, I almost cried. Like I was like, I was so fucking sad. And I was like, Oh my God, there's this horrible world. They've carved out a life of happiness against all odds. Like,

and it's like this beautiful thing. I want to add to what you're saying. There's a scene before the MS reveal where they're running together and the guy who gets ms is doing really well and nick offerman's character is struggling to catch up and and he's so genuinely the acting so good he so genuinely says i'm sorry i'm so sorry and he's like why he's like i got a hold faster than you did and i'm like oh man like that and then oh and by the way uh athlete guy was totally cool with it he was like yeah yeah we're aging in different ways you can do your best you know hold my hand walk i'll pull you forward or whatever and um then there was good vibe to return to him when he came down with what i think

was ms and uh and nick offerman had to care for him you know he was the caring guy yeah as it was like leading up like when they had like the little song and dance of them being gay and the guy was like i'll be gay with you nick offerman i was like don't trust him nick don't trust him he's gonna kill you when you're in the shower like don't do it he's gonna steal your guns and shoot you i love that thankfully he was actually gay i love that that's where you were in that moment um i want to know at what point woody did you get the first gay vibes um like like when when were you at least suspicious like what was the moment very. It was when he was pouring the wine. When he knew he held the wine bottle in a certain way that I wouldn't have known.

He presented it like a sommelier. Okay. And when he poured it, I guess there's like a dip in the bottom center. And he used that to hold it and pour it in a really fancy way. And I don't know my wines, but he paired rabbit with the right wine. He's like, I know I'm not the sort that, that would know that.

And he's like, no, no, you are. And I'm like, their gaydar is fucking. So I caught it a little bit earlier. I,

as soon as when he's bringing him like the towels or clothes for the shower and the guys like in there enjoying the first hot shower he's probably had in a very, very long time. He's just like, can I have five more minutes? Like it had nothing to do with the five more minutes asking for it or him saying, yeah, absolutely. You have five more minutes. It was how nervously he was approaching that door and the idea of talking to a naked man. that door and the idea of talking to a naked man. Like,

like there was this nervous sort of like, I, um, I have clothes. Yeah. For you. Cause you don't, you know, you don't have any on like,

you can almost feel that that's, that's what's like in his head. He's like, well, if I admit that he needs clothes, then I'm sort of saying, Hey, you're naked in there.

And I know it. And I'm in my, he's like, so in his head and it's great fucking acting. Yeah. Nick Offerman had me crying. I don't, And he's like, so in his head, and it's great fucking acting. Nick Offerman had me crying. I don't, as soon as, I'm trying to think when I knew it was going to be, I was going to, it was going to be awful.

Not awful, but like awfully sad. When I knew it was going to be an incredible emotional downer of a story. I think it was when, it was as soon as they had something to lose. As soon as they both loved each other and realized that,

I was like, oh no. They've given them so much so early in the story. It has to be taken away from them. This thing's an hour and 20 minutes long. I knew that the little girl and Pedro'm not the boy the little girl and pedro pascal are on their way to frank and billy's or whatever they had mentioned

those two men's names like yeah we're going to frank and billy's kind of like it was a a place as much as two people you know what i mean yeah it was it was like yeah we're going to frank and billy's and like i'm like oh shit are they nice're going to Frank and Billy's. And I'm like, oh, shit. Are they nice? Frank is. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, damn, when they get there, I bet either Frank or Billy isn't going to be there for him. And it's like, yeah, nobody's going to be there for him. And it was real sad there at the end. You know, his realization that the flowers aren't watered or um her reading the note that was sad

great episode great show um it's a really good show i like the enemy i like the enemy and how it's presented and how i'm able to like all right that kind of makes sense yeah fungus i got nothing for that i got nothing i like the enemy too i'm still confused from time to time. Like, like, I don't know what, okay. There's a scene in a museum.

Glad the spoilers thing is rolling where the enemy, this is the zombies. We'll call them took an ax to the brain. And that didn't even seem to slow it down. And then another time they take a bullet to the brain and that thing is done. And I'm like, I don't think I understand the rules of this universe coming as a walking dead enthusiast yeah they're very easy to kill

kyle on your first day you can handle 12 on one situations i'm sure uh in this universe 1v1 is a problem yeah i think that i think the deal is for one one thing, Walking Dead sort of video-gamized their enemies. It's like, did you hit it in the head? Well, kinda. Then it's dead. There's aim assist in Walking Dead. In this world, it's like, did you destroy its brain? Well, the left side,

that's not the side that does movement, dummy! Oh, good! Now it can't do math! Hit it again! I think it's like more like that because i saw what you're talking about and also they've got they've sort of like mutated or grown so much of that that that fungus on them that it's almost armored and so like chopping into its head it was almost like they had to hack away a layer of growth of like woody fungal like armor to get to the, you know, it's real brain. It's human brain that's powering things. The fact that dealing with one of them here, like I'm going to shut that dog up in a second.

The fact that like one of them dying here, like it sort of like communicates to the ones down the street. That was scary. Yes, yes. ones down the street that was scary yes yes um i i kyle likes pedro pascal as an actor and i liked him in game of thrones i didn't really notice his acting which perhaps is a kind of compliment and then in mandalorian oh my god it's so wasted on me you could get fucking a voice actor to do mandalorian there's nothing happening in that show that requires good acting there really aren't plots and twists and like there's nothing that allows an actor in mandalorian to show off his acting chops the way that like nick offerman storyline in episode three allowed him to show off what he can do in acting and drawing out your emotion and making you feel what he feels.

So when Kyle said Pedro Pascal was doing a good job acting in Last of Us, I was like, oh, I'll be the judge of that. Actually, I like him. I like him. I agree with what Kyle was saying. He's acting well, and it's working for me. I'm watching. I like him. I agree with what Kyle was saying. He's acting well, and it's working for me. I'm watching. I'm interested. Yeah.

It's going to be a hard episode to follow. Yes. I'm glad for it because there hasn't been a show that I... Literally, last night, before I even watched, I was like, oh, yeah, that show that's really good is out. There hasn't been a show like that since what, maybe Chernobyl was the last one where when it came

out every week, I'm like, oh fuck yeah, Chernobyl's coming out. When was that? Four, five years ago now? COVID. Yeah. It was COVID I think. Oh, well, I'll say this. Am I wrong? I thought that, no, Chernobyl was the thing they tacked on right to the end of Game of Thrones to distract us, right? I think you're right. I'm sorry.

To distract us. It's a conspiracy. For real. It successfully did it because I was like, Game of Thrones sucks. This is cool. That's an amazing show. It is. No, yeah, you're right.

It's been a while since there's been a thing that not only is really good, but it also comes out week to week because a lot of that pandemic shit, they were just like, here, take tiger King, watch as much as you want. And it was, Oh,

thank you so much, sir. This is perfect. Hear you. But that, that what you're describing, like, I can't wait for next week's episode happens to me for the boys.

Hmm. I thought you guys were kind of fallen out of. No, no, no, still not. It ended strong as fuck. I think I'm thinking of a different show then.

If anything with the boys, toward the end of the season, Homelander showed this side of himself that you've never seen before where he's having sort of a psychotic break. I don't know what it would literally be, but basically he's speaking to himself in a mirror and he has two

different personalities and one of them is afraid and the other one is like well you need to just cut out that part of you that's human then that scared part we just get rid of that and then we're good right then we're a big boy again huh and it's like yeah i guess well that's what we do then cut out that bullshit cut out all those feelings and let's do what we do he's get back to winning yeah yeah and he has this pep talk with himself and it's like oh shit this guy is essentially god and he's not stable at all you know he says he's having a real meltdown here with himself in a room so that that that show ended strong strongly yeah in the boys there's a scene where he basically fights a 2v1.

And I think he would have lost but escaped, if I recall it correctly. And I like that. This guy is next to God, but not God. Like, it is possible. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he's having that whole crisis about. He just had gotten beaten up for the first time ever. And yeah, there were two of them, but that's never mattered before.

It would be like, it'd be like, Taylor, you spent your whole career beating up infants and suddenly you lost a 2v1. You don't go back home and justify that. No, you'd be like, oh my God, who am I? I can't even take infants. Yeah, there were two of them. I'm supposed to take 200 of them. But they were probably very...

They were probably like A-tier superheroes to his S-tier superhero. Yeah, that's what they did. And they ambushed him, and they had a particular set of skills. They needed to be banging on all cylinders to get close to beat him, like walking through a park with diarrhea or whatever. I've heard them talk about how they don't want the fight choreography to to make them look like good fighters he's like because none of us would be good fighters like why would we have to learn like any martial art we just punch through

people like like you know we can just be that chad hitting walls so so a lot of the fights don't look great but uh that 2v1 was a cool fight now that would be a fun boy storyline if like the homelander just showed up at like dana white slap contest and was like what what you can't play you know he like he like competes in a professional sport everybody's like sure you can play but then he like he just hits the ball way too hard and kills someone yeah like you know it takes a slap and the guy's like hand busts off his wrist because his chin doesn't move at all you see how much those slap folks are getting paid i have oh isn't it like i forget the number but it's minimal yeah two to show two to win two to show two to win how Two to show, two to win. How many fights a night do they do? I think you've got to slap your way through like three guys to get that win bonus.

So maybe I'm wrong. Are you kidding? I haven't watched it. Four times three, like 12 grand for the night? I don't even think they do that. I don't think they do a tournament. I thought they just did like two guys slap each other off. Yeah, I thought that.

And then they bring in two more mooks yeah it's true it's such a shitty sport and if it's two and two like it's not worth the exposure like there's so few eyes on that sport it's on tbs or something like jesus yeah i bet to be fair though i bet if you saw how much dana's making off of it it's shockingly low i bet i bet this is i bet it's shockingly low what he's making he's just happy to have a tv show out there and you know if it's success then he just reels it back home under his umbrella and if it fails i got tbs's money yeah it's not going to like succeed. I wouldn't think like I watched like some clips of it and like, you've seen one,

you've seen them all like pretty much it's like, Oh, a slap fight, except it's not really slapping. You kind of use the bone of your hand to hit their jaw. And so it's like, okay, it seems like,

and I'm no genius, but whoever wins the coin flip and goes first tends to win. Because I need to see those stats. If Kyle and I are in a slap fight, I can almost guarantee that the winner will be whoever goes first, because if Kyle hits me in the fucking head. If I got to go first, I would just surrender. You know what?

Best case scenario, i hurt my hand worst case scenario you hurt my head and uh and i don't want to play this fucking game oh what do you mean there's four thousand dollars up for grabs no i'm good no taylor said it's not really a slap you kind of hit him with your palm and that's the way it's done i think that's cheating i think you're only supposed to hit this part and i think they put chalk on your hand to confirm where on the face and the thing is cheating is how you win cheating is so widespread it almost seems like the rule is palm to chin go for the knockout yeah you know putting earplugs and stuff too that was one of my concerns and when he said that i was like all right yeah you brought me on a little

bit because as bad as a concussion is i guess man you you my my uh my grandmother my grandmother was deaf for uh most of her life because uh she got slapped in the ear wow is that true or did i just believe something silly um that about my grandmother being dead one year no that's true her my grandfather slapped her in the in the side of the head and and ruptured her eardrum i don't know she's around 30 35 and uh so she was deaf in that ear for life but um you know that'd be that'd be one of my fears if someone's gonna slap me as hard as they could in the fucking head. Yeah, I don't think that's going to be successful.

That draws, you know, look, I love the UFC, but there's been plenty of times where I'm yelling at the TV. Stop it. Stop it. That's enough. Stop it. Oh, please don't let him go out another round. Please don't let him go back out there. Somebody stop it. He can't quit. go back out there somebody stop it he can't quit quit for him somebody do it you know i've had those thoughts before because it's gotten so brutal or bloody or you know it's just clear what the outcome is going to be so i don't know i don't want to i don't want to see people just get hurt for the sake of getting hurt there's no skill involved with that i don't know it's it's just people clubbing each other in the head right i'm yeah it's like there's not enough to it there's not enough strategy There's not enough to it. There's not enough strategy.

There's not enough tactics. I can appreciate all the strategy and tactics they're using in football. I don't know very much about football, but when the guy explains to me what they did and why they ran a certain play to combat a certain defense, I'm like, that's impressive. A lot of people had to be doing different things at the same time. In MMA, it's just one guy, but there's tactics.

Even in this, though, there's no foreplay. That's part of it, too. If there was a game where, you know, not sexual foreplay. Stupid sport. I'm with Kyle. If you just lube the hand, you don't need foreplay. That's what we're saying. It looks like this guy got bit by a snake.

It does. That was Jake the Snake Robertson. Taylor was right. You can hit with the palm It looks like he had a stroke What a poor guy That's awful Look at the rep Bitch do you want my lap or not

Dude no one comes out of this looking good And that guy has to stand there solemnly With a pinky ring and a belt I read that you have to be able to put a comb through the beard I didn't know that i thought you could maybe like it makes taylor's veer beard absolutely packed with vaseline would form some sort of like gel pad right maybe a little like i bet like if i if i were doing this like i keep my beard pretty close like not too long i would absolutely be conditioning and and that would take

till friday there's a point with beards like there are some people like harley who like can do that like longer beard because they have like a longer like viking like like kyle has like a longer more angular face he could could do a viking-style beard. I have a round face, and so I can't let my beard get too long, or I just look kind of key blurry. What if you strategically got it long?

I'm using barber numbers, but you toot on the side and beat it under the chin or something. Yeah, I could do that. I i like it if i if i go more than like a week without trimming it down i i don't like it i feel you know what i do sometimes is like sometimes i'll go like two weeks without trimming it and then i'll trim it all down and like get the neck tight again and i'll be like, damn, someone's lost weight. Because it's like a real-time diet.

It's kind of nice. You should go for a big beard, Kyle. I can't grow one. Can't grow one. It's all scraggly. Big mustache. Can't do that either. There's a part of my mustache that got scraped off in that stupid ATV accident.

So I've got this one little awkward bald patch right in the middle of it. Like a Joaquin Phoenix line? Yeah. Well, no. No. like a walking phoenix line yeah well no no not a walking phoenix line not a goddamn hair lip no i was looking for an even more extreme example right right right like that guy and the boardwalk empire right yeah this just reminded me one of the meanest clips of ona i remember because i've been doing re-listens again is like jim norton was just going off like oh those fucking hair lip people ah joaquin phoenix fuck him your stupid name and your disgusting hair lip and some guy called and was like i don't appreciate being people talking about it you know they can't and jim was like wait wait do you have a fucking hair lip oh oh get this guy off the phone with this disgusting

war wound is this his nasty man and the guy's like it's not that and he's like i can hear it in your voice oh it's like so mean jim norton calling someone ugly is outrageous oh yeah dude and like and he takes it too because like you know voss or colin quinn will be like norton looks like any container you pour them into or like he should be he should be jim norton should be living in a petri or no what who is it bobby kelly he's like he looks like he should be eating his way out of an apple which is which is a really fucking good one i love bobby kelly funny guy yeah he does yeah oh and obviously talk about comedy and how we have the wrong king maker right so back in the day it was opiate anthony and you'd go on there and it was like this competitive environment right patrice o'neill would just eat fucking people alive if they weren't funny enough

then you've got colin quinn and of course opie and anthony themselves like they were killing it and coming out of that came a lot of really great comics now you have joe rogan joe rogan pimping his friends bringing us the brilliance of brendan schwab oh come on he's chilled with that he knows and his like crew and i'm just like yeah patrice o'neill would eat brendan schwab alive he'd never make it out of the incubator right he just he'd die and now it's not it's like proper you should do this you're great you should check this out i think you had like martin lawrence running that like what like the deaf comedy jam right like like that's where everybody great, you should check this out. I think you had Martin Lawrence running the Deaf Comedy Jam, right? That's where everybody came from. Those are some funny guys.

Dave Chappelle, Chris Tucker, those people, that's where they came from. And then you had, obviously, for white people, you had Leno Letterman kind of holding the gates there and deciding who got to be at least presentable as a comedian in front of white America on TV at night but yeah those get the city looked like he should be coming out of an

apple and i can picture him like morphed into a goddamn green worm and it's like yeah yeah 100 oh did you ever see that that as a kid this this this is some of that nostalgia shit james and the Giant Peach. You ever see that terror of a film? The cartoon? The cartoon. It's some sort of weird, disgusting claymation or something. I don't remember.

It's about a bunch of bugs and a little boy who do a transatlantic journey on a gigantic, rotting piece of fruit. And it's gross as shit the whole way. They're just in a big rot. Even as a kid, I distinctly remember being nauseous watching this movie. Whenever it came out, I was probably seven or eight. Look at this fucking terrifying shit.

Is this Tim Burton? I don't remember. I was a child. See that thing the little boy's standing on? That's the peach stem. And he's James, that little ginger fuck standing on? That's the peach stem. And he's James. That little ginger fuck. It's disgusting. And each of those bugs

is like a creepier bug than the last. They're not even the cute bugs that you get in modern Pixar. Remember ants? How cute those ants were? Look at that disgusting worm there. It's unsettling. This looks more like an adult swim show than it does like

the peach is continuously rotting i remember that and i don't remember what his drama was man there's another show um or another cartoon rather and it was something like there was a bunch of farm animals and what they had they had a situation where like the rooster was like kind of like an elvis presley like rooster and he'd been crowing so well that like the big city uh intellectual eastern types had paid him a bunch of money and they had taken him to the big city they'd gotten him on drugs and stuff and he's in like he's he's singing it in the big city making it big but back home it turned out little did he know the owls are the ones behind all this see the owls they're nocturnal right they want it to be nighttime all the time you know what makes the

sun come up turns out it was chanticleer chanticleer the rooster the greatest rooster of all who who could crow the sun to rise and when they took him those eastern intellectual money types they took him out the owls um suddenly it's nighttime he doesn't even know he's so drugged up and whored up on the this is a cartoon back in the big city with them he doesn't know about all the bad things that happened back on the farm because it's nighttime all the time and the owls are running the roost the duplicitous owls with their mr burns ask plan to well with an owl they're not really anyway yeah you know um um that's a real cartoon and i cannot remember the name of it but but i

bet zach can like suss it out i i trust him to i'm glad i didn't see that one that sounds fucking chanticleer is the is the only character name i remember it's something like that that was the rooster's name because it's such a bizarre name right chanticleer i the only character name I remember. It's something like that. That was the rooster's name because it's such a bizarre name, right? Chanticleer. I think they chant it at the end. Do you remember this? I'm just getting reminded these movies. What was that movie where there were dinosaurs in the city

and there was an evil guy with an eye that wanted to turn the dinosaurs evil and they had to escape to the forest. This isn't a dream. I'm positive. There's a Whoopi Goldberg. I choose to believe it's a dream. So for some reason.

I got pictures of that Whoopi Goldberg movie. That she was like financially obligated to do. And she's just running around New York. With like a very unconvincing. Stuffed animal dinosaur. Adventures in Dinosaur City? I don't think so. Is it We're Back?

From 1992? We're Back sounds familiar. 1993? Oh, that's it, Zach. See, that's Chanticleer. See, that's him in the big city. Man, this was a stupid movie. Man, it's funny. The things that you liked as a kid and then looking back and it's like there's no way this was you remember the gummy bears

cartoon i did not watch it but i remember of it do you remember the gargoyles yes yeah i was i never got that into the gargoyles uh but they were on usually i don't know if it was before or after ninja turtles and so i would catch some of it so i watched it before school every morning i think it came on at like 6 a.m 6 30 a.m or something and uh that's a that's around when i had to get up every day for my entire fucking childhood you think back and it's like what the fuck every day and i just took it i don't know did you get up early on set i remember like waking up 7 30 a.m pokemon on saturdays i would get up and play cards and watch cartoons like a ritual

um because you know saturday mornings and this is something that was stolen from kids um after my generation or your generation maybe even saturday morning cartoons i mean it was like prime time times like your favorite sporting event and it was every saturday every saturday they had this full lineup on all four of the networks of good cartoons like the goods like x-men the power rangers like beetleborgs, like whatever you were into. It was OK. Yet two episodes on Saturday. And then I switched to Channel 13.

The Ninja Turtles are on for 30 minutes. Back to Fox 21 so I can watch the goddamn the Transformers that leads right into X-Men. And that's your whole Saturday. And I'd be sitting there with my snacks. And like afternoon, it started turning into like soap operas and shit and then i'd go outside and you know like start my day as a kid of like i don't know whatever building forts or whatever it was that was a digging holes i was a hole digger dude digging holes there was something so cathartic about there was i think i'd said on the show before there was like a four month or four week period rather when me and my younger brother is like year and a half or so

younger than me when i was like 12 and he was 10 and we would just get home from school and go in the yard and dig and there was no purpose there was no and like we'd like get these boards that were like extra from a construction project and like lay it on top of the pit afterward to be like we got to keep our pit safe because tomorrow we have to dig the pit more so like that was it we just dug a huge hole until eventually my dad was like guys this is outrageous like it was six how big the hole was you say it was six feet deep but you were 12 so like it was deeper how did how did you get out of it uh it was we sloped okay fair yeah fair um so i would dig i would dig holes what adult tailored i'm sorry we keep talking at the same

time adult tailored to see the hole and be like oh much like everything else from my childhood i remember it bigger yeah i i guarantee i'd look at it and it'd be like three feet deep yeah right that jungle gym that i estimated at 45 feet tall is seven yeah man i can't imagine how deep the pools as a kid actually were like at like when you go to the neighborhood pools and stuff it's like oh my god i can't touch i could die no it's so whenever i whenever i wanted to do something silly like that like build a tree house or rope swing or dam up the creek or um or like make my own fishing pond or something like that dad would be like yeah go do it do it. I'd run out. I'd do

my best at it. Then I'd be like, what do you think? He's like, I think I can help. Then he'd show up with a tractor and some know-how. Then all of a sudden, it's like, what are we going to do with all this water now? We've got to make some decisions quick.

What about the people downstream are they gonna miss water are they gonna miss having that water how are your creek blocking abilities like like that's you know rope swings and stuff like that like um would get out of hand and be like professional grade so that you're swinging way out over a thing and it would get dangerous um or we um we specifically dammed up a creek one year until the water was like chest deep and um and it was already like a spot in the creek where it made a sharp turn and so it continuously like dug into a bank deeply and so you kind of get this this bowl there created naturally So you just go ahead and build it just downstream from that. And you've really got a pool that you can build up as high as you want.

And the water will get as fast moving and clean. So we'd swing off into that shit and do flips and almost break our necks, constantly like hitting our heads in sand if we were stupid enough to try to do a flip and didn't land it just right. Or then like, you you know the paintball course is a perfect example of this you know i didn't ask for any help but i went out and i i made a paintball course by like reinforcing some stuff and like bill i would uh drive a stick into the ground and then another stick right next to it and then repeat that three feet away and then between those sandwiches i would stack long sticks and i would make these like barriers and bunkers in the woods and dad's like all right you've been

out there two or three days working on this let's get started and he would show up like a track like a tractor and a bunch of hay bells and stuff and a bunch of like building equipment he still is i'm thinking of this with regards to my own childhood and i had a similar experience but it wasn't my parents like i i had a neighbor who had a garden this garden was the bomb i don't know how big it was i remember it being like a little farm on his whatever half acre plot and uh his tomato plants were so impressive they were like five feet tall and stuff. And I'm like 11, 12 years old or so, maybe younger, 10. And I'm doing my garden.

So I'm out there. First, it's just grass, right? So you have to take a shovel and like flip all the grass over and poke, poke, poke, poke it and try to make it. So I did that for days. Then he comes along with his tiller. And now it's ready. And then I planted my tomatoes. I planted sunflowers they're

not very useful like we didn't eat the seeds or anything but it's cool growing a six seven foot flower like that's neat if you're a kid i had a successful garden and in hindsight i remember the neighbor like taking me into his basement he wasn't a pedo or he was just really nice and uh and showing me how he grew the flat the tomatoes in the winter indoors under grow lights so that come spring he had like three foot tomato plants already ready to plant he didn't start from a seed in the springtime and he introduced me to miracle grow which i was like this is the secret this is the do other Do other people know about this? Plant steroids. You juice it? Exactly. Don't worry. I won't say anything.

Somebody's going to notice your tomatoes. They don't look natural. I guess you don't miracle grow every day. You can burn it. He just showed me the ropes. He's a good guy. I'm sure he's dead. That's nice when somebody takes an interest in what you're doing as a kid and you can learn from them. That's

taken from us by the left-wing media and the owls. I'm going to stick with that one. That's what I'm going to go with that one. Just stick with that one. That's what I'm going to go with now. Harley will like it. Oh, the Gargoyles. The Gargoyles TV show. I was watching a thing about it recently

because the voices are really good. What is this show? Is it good? It's an animated show made by either Disney or Warner Brothers. It was high quality and it came out in like 93 sometime around then. And it was an adult ish cartoon, like enough so that I feel like I could still watch it and be like, OK. But the voice actors were a bunch of them were from Star Trek.

Like the guy that plays number one, you know, and and next generation, he's he one of the main, he's like the bad guy. And who's, you know, there's a black guy who has like a really distinctive voice. He does the president in Rick and Morty. He was the black guy in The Thing, you know, the one who's at the end with Kurt Russell. He's that guy, his name escapes me, but he's one of the voices.

He's like the main guy. And there's a couple more, but that was a really good cartoon. That was one of the voices. He's like the main guy. And there's a couple more. But that was a really good cartoon. That was one of my favorites growing up. Yeah, I just remember not thinking it was as fun. I just didn't give it a fair shake, I don't think. It was kind of sad. T.K. Carter, by chance?

Yeah, I think that's it. That sounds kind of familiar. Yeah, he was the big purple one. And the chick on the right was like his main squeeze she's uh voiced by mirana certis who's this greek actress who plays latina and cried about having to show her titties back in the day woe is me you shitty actress fuck yeah anyway your tits they're drawn i guarantee that like brent spinner got her that work because she's just a no-talent hack.

I'm just kidding. I'm just goofing. I didn't mean all that. But no, that was my jam as a kid. You had the old guy, right? Here's the story in like 30 seconds. They're from Scotland, and they were the protectors of a king's castle and they were lured away by an enemy and made to look like

the reason the castle fell. And so the king had his magician curse them to be stoned until the castle rises above the clouds. Some obscure nonsense. Well, in the future, Brent Spinner is such a badass billionaire that he

buys that castle and has it reassembled on top of his skyscraper in New York and like breaks the curse. And they wake up and he's like, yo, do my bidding now. And they're like, we're not like dogs. We're we're like just big, strong, flying bat stone. Really? Yeah. Yeah. We're kind of bad. And they just fly away and like fight crime essentially after that. And he gets a he gets human pussy.

And they just fly away and fight crime, essentially, after that. And he gets human pussy. That's what's kind of shitty. Because the guard girl, I'll call her, she's the only hot guard girl in existence. Because the rest got beaten to death when they turned into stone in the old days. And he's the only hot guard guy. Garld guy.

And he goes and gets some human pussy. It's pretty shitty. He leaves her. She becomes the enemy. I feel like they have tails. But why couldn't you get some human dick? I don't think... She's more of a master race

gargoyle. Gargoyles don't have genitals. They're magic creatures that came from the stone. What do you think those loincloths are about, my friend? Those were carved into the... You think that's for aerodynamic purposes? If mannequins come to life, do they grow penises? Of course not.

That would be insane. Some of them might. Same principle. It depends on the mannequin. They would become an automaton of the form they're already in. That's why they didn't wear different clothes. That really rolls off the tongue well, doesn't it? Automaton.

Yes. Do it with a Japanese accent, but quickly. No, no, no. But like the automaton is a sacred and fearful thing. There is but one automaton that can save us. Don't add the Aru on the end. It's a sacred thing. It's not a automaton Aru.

It's an automaton. I like when they really speak quickly. Like when you see like a Japanese prison guard, he's yelling his second command. Like, yeah, go get the bamboo stick we hit him with. He's saying it really fast. It's scary as fuck. Yeah.

And you're the American like, oh shit. I need a row means fucking cane. I know that word. Like it's all shaky all of a sudden. Those guys fucking sucked. I'm glad we got them so good. We got them. fucking cane i know that word like like you're getting all shaky all of a sudden uh those guys fucking sucked i'm glad we got them so good we got them you know who else uh or this just made me think of like like strict countries i want to visit i want to visit singapore someday and be on my absolute best behavior just to see how it is. Like, have you seen how beautiful everything is?

Like their bus stops are nice. Because if someone walks by the bus stop and spits, they're publicly caned. And so it's just everywhere's nice as long as you're not like a spitter or a drug user. You know that spitting law is, like people hear that and they're like, wow, they're so strict.

Like we would never have a law like that here. We would if we had Chinese tourists in sufficient numbers because we would have to make a law that said, hey, no more spitting. And everybody would be like, why? Who's doing all the spitting? They are. Yeah. They are.

The Chinese are. My buddy's wife is from China, and so he's been many times to see some of her family that still lives there. And he's like, oh, yeah, the spitting thing, totally true. They're phlegmy people. That's what it is. They spit in public on the floor of buses and stuff. And also, apparently, he's like, kids just will shit in public.

Yeah. just will shit in public like yeah like they'll like a little if a little kid has to shit he just squats down in the middle of the street there like while people are walking by the storefront and just shits do you spit on the floor when you're in the box playing ice hockey um yeah i would i would spit in hockey yeah i think not if i was in singapore it's kind of different like like i think on most sporting fields it's kind of understood that like yeah we're spitting on that thing we're playing on but like that's just part of it like what's maybe not basketball yeah not well then see that's because and there's a good reason for that right and it's not like respect for the court it's slipperiness it's slippery and it's nice it's

like like you don't know i don't expose my i don't see wood that's that shiny and polished very often it's so beautiful yeah that bowling lanes like two hands of spectrum i suppose but jesus they get their shit done i've been uh i love youtube shorts i spend too much time like i sit here and i puff on my fucking do you watch that woman try on outfits dbg fuck no bro what's wrong with you do i watch this one try on x i was about to tell you about like all the nba like players talking about how it was in the 70s and 80s and i'm surprised by how like we get recommended the same stuff by youtube oh okay it's not as gay as it sounds uh she usually starts off in her underwear and uh she's you can imagine

how grotesque a popular woman but it stands in her underwear on youtube might be and uh and she's you can imagine how grotesque a popular woman stands in her underwear on YouTube might be and she's like I'm going to try this on and this on and match this with this and before long she has this bombing outfit that she puts together with like usually there's like one thing new and then she reaches into her closet

and she's personable and I am addicted to this woman trying on clothes. Let me tell you how that works for me so you know how i drink alcohol taylor's talked about it plenty of times it's like i'm here for alcohol because i want to be drunk off of alcohol so here's the amount that that is required to go glug glug glug now i am drunk off of alcohol that was awful glass aside i don't want anymore that's how i am am about hot chicks on my screens. If I'm going to look at a hot

woman on my screen, I'm going to go look at a hot enough one that I'm going to masturbate. Then I'm going to masturbate and I'm going to cum. I'm not going to look at any other hot women on my screen because we got that taken care of. We wanted to look at hot women and get horny. We did that. We came. That's gone

now. Now back to fucking youtube shorts now it's time for age of empires no and like my youtube shorts like like right now it's a lot of nba stuff but none of the new shit because they're so fucking lame it's it's all like old players talking about like how they felt about this guy or that guy it's uh it's people talking about the first time they ran into larry bird it's uh it's people talking about the first time they ran into larry bird it's uh it's people talking about trash talking michael jordan and it blowing up in their face or trash talking kobe and blowing up in their face um there's this great interview um kobe was on kimmel i think and kimmel's like i want to play you a clip this is from last night's lakers game uh you know he's been retired for a while at this point i guess a year or two or whatever uh this from last night's

laker game uh they just had snapped an eight-game losing streak to win this regular season game at home against the so-and-so. And he plays the clip, and it's three knuckleheads. Look, I don't know NBA, but, you know, they're just, like, hanging all over each other. They're like, whoa, Jimmy Bob did his thing. You know what? And then I was in there like, what did you do? And Billy Bob, he's always on point with that hook so we got it done that's right that's right we're gonna party tonight yeah and they

cut to kobe and he has not smiled he looks upset he's like he's like with that well that would have happened if you were there you think you know you know, still playing. He's just like, he didn't want to talk about it. He looks upset. And it was like, yeah, like that's such a I would hate to see that if that was a team that I was like financially invested in as some sort of a booster or owner or something like that. I wouldn't want to see that if I was any kind of a fan who like bought merch, bought tickets, was at all invested. That would that would make me an anti-fan if i saw that my guys just snapped their eight game losing streak and it's time to party um that's that's not the kind of player that you want on you'd imagine that'd be bad press you'd imagine a player would be smart enough to be

like i think it was that's why he's on jimmy kimmel being mocked about it like i'm sure he'll open their faces elsewhere and that's how it got there but it was like man that's a really completely different mentality from somebody like that they talked about what it's going to take for um lebron to break is it's kareem's record right most points i think so yeah and and and they said something like that i'm gonna get the numbers a little weird but he's like yeah you gotta play all the time as many minutes as you can but you got to do that for 20 years and you've got to average 25 points because kareem did all those things but he only averaged 24 points a game and it's like oh no oh no that's so many years of grinding and playing at such an exceptional level yeah average 25 points a game over 20 years at a professional level that's impressive and played like a lot of

minutes most of the minutes yeah so i mean a lot of times people typically you join the nba after college and you know even if you're not you don't do four years in college, you do two oftentimes. It's rare that someone does one. LeBron James came into the league out of high school. And then at 18 years old, he was a very good player in the NBA. He started scoring points. Started scoring a lot of points at 18. And LeBron has been very good at staying like not getting hurt and he gets hurt

but like it seems like half of his workout routine is devoted to like bending over backwards on a yoga ball or whatever the fuck he does to make sure that he's longevity minded longevity minded durability minded and uh um like he wrote there he's 117 points from passing this is a guy who gets like 28 points a night lately. Oh, he'll pass. 32 points. Yeah, he needs three or four games. Yeah, the point wasn't how insurmountable it was. It was what has required.

How insurmountable LeBron's record will be. I don't know. It's crazy that someone's going to jump in the league at 18 years old and be that durable. I don't think it is. What I mean by that that is if they're jumping in the league at 18 chances are they're a special kind of talent right so you would almost imagine that it would be the guy who jumps in at 18 who has the potential to to get those kind of uh

numbers what you're afraid of is that flash in the pan guy who who like it's like oh if he just does this for 15 more years he'll beat lebron by a thousand points and then like explodes his life in the print the personal arena or or something like that or just doesn't have the longevity or longevity he's too slow too too fast too too uh too soon you know for a great player isn't lebron anymore they all seem to like these seven foot skinny guys who can shoot a three-pointer right like you you get first of all you get three points in the shot instead of two and you're really hard to block because you're seven foot four inches tall and it's almost as if you're open because you're so hecking tall and i wish i could watch that game

but i don't think that when i watch it man it just looks so gross i just don't see these seven foot four guys ever being remotely in lebron's longevity league it depends on how the refs so my from my ignorant point of view i would imagine that it will intend entirely on um how the the refs call the game, right? How rough you can be with those guys. Because if you're a big physical guy and you're allowed to utilize that, then big physical guys are what you need. LeBron, do you think LeBron would have prospered back when the defense was so

crazy like it was when Jordan played, when everybody was so rough on? Like I remember seeing some Jordan get beat up. LeBron's body in particular. He that's like, you know, what's going to happen if you keep hitting the Oak tree. Yeah. You're not worried about the Oak tree.

Are you? I wasn't even talking about his durability in that, in that age. I'm talking about what's he going to do to his opponents? Yeah. Like, like, I don't know who would be across the court from him.

Like what position does LeBron play? It's like a point guard it's a hybrid thing sort of thing yeah he holds the i would imagine that he's such a talent that he's playing a hybrid position that that most guys can most forwards don't bring the ball up like he does though so anyway uh the seven foot four guy i'm talking about you're like it depends how the refs call it. Yeah. I hear where you're coming from, but these are guys who like when they jump and land on my foot, they're broken. Well, they're not playing it to you though.

Like, like we'll make it anyone's foot. It doesn't have to be my foot. You might trip. You twist your fucking ankle. You step on check. Yeah. Yeah. But that,

that's the problem. Like there's a guy, Chet Holmgrengren he was like the uh the darling of this year's draft and in the summer league before it even started he jumped landed on it was think was lebron's foot and uh now he's out for the year yeah i've been skinny so i've been getting recommended a lot of that a lot of like kobe stories and uh j Kobe stories and Jordan stories and Dennis Rodman shit. I like that stuff. I like those old stories like that.

And what else? I try to make sure the algorithm doesn't guide me where I don't want to go. It's easy to. It's easy to watch something that you don't like. But when you know that it's going to interpret that as give me more, you've got to be, ah, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't even watch a second of that. So anytime it's somebody like intentionally speaking really slowly

or they say something like, you ever wondered what the most powerful television in the world is? And then they follow that up with, today we're going to talk about what the most powerful television in the world is today we're and then they follow that up with today we're going to talk about what the most powerful television in the world is and then and then they like transition to a new visual and they go the most powerful television in the world believe it or not and i'm like first of all first of all describing a tv as powerful is the confusing part that still has me i want to know how many horsepower the

cocksucker has but the fact that you've done this three times i know you you you fucking owls i know how you work i'm hitting fucking scroll i need to put my foot pedal on it so i can get them like that while i'm smoking and shit but but i hate that and it's something that a lot of them do to like you know get your your retention a little bit higher i'm sure the algorithm values that if you're if you're 75 through uh a 45 second video or whatever that's much better than if you just insta scroll like i do when i catch that shit every time but i like the do-it-yourself stuff i like all the animal rescue shit but um lately it's been a lot of fucking LeBron and Kobe,

even though I just hate that shit so much. I hate it when they intentionally like manipulate the algorithm. There's two things they do. They'll like kick off the video into a half thought that I don't understand. And then it's like, all right, now I'm getting, I'm getting it.

And then at the very end of the video, it ties into that half thought. So you watch it a second time and it's like oh wait this restarted and it seems like it didn't another one i watched there's a girl playing tennis and they're like i can't believe she cheated like that so i'm watching i'm watching what did she do what did she do i can't see it next loop around can't fucking see it next loop around the fuck i go to the comments they're all like she didn't cheat you just got me to watch it five times yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah lots of sneaky shit like that so so i try to avoid that i don't watch too much i love them dude just click fucking shorts in the top

left and go for a ride it'll learn who you are and it'll it'll tell you some things about yourself i have watched some like some like hockey highlights on on that and it's kind of neat so i mean i get suggested hockey stuff i get suggested age of empires stuff i don't know why it's suggesting the age of empire shorts how could i why would on earth what i want to watch a short about an rts game wait are you serious no i'm being serious like like no no like if i'm watching a video about age of Empires, it's like, build order this. Or how do I do this? How do I counter this?

I don't want to see, like, check out this rad glitch. And it's like, oh, a monk walked backwards? Who fucking cares? You're not going to trick me into watching that multiple times looking for something cool. You're not going to get me. I just picture them saying, did you know? And then, like, you know, a little corner of the game

maybe you didn't know about oh today's the day it goes live on xbox and like my fear is reversing now because apparently they made the ai managed economy for the xbox pretty robust and so all the very high elo because for some reason they use elo like chess to rank people and And so all the high ELO people are going to be molesting all the controller people. And all the like dog shit people like me are going to be struggling, I think. If you can't manage economy at a certain like mean level, then you're just going to get shit on because it's. Well, I can. I can macro.

I'll be able to macro better than the auto controller thing. But they'll be able to just have it on auto thing. They'll be able to focus entirely on microing. That's what I'm saying. See, that's fair though, right? It is fair. Yeah, but I don't want it to be fair. I want to get some wins, boost my confidence.

I feel you. I've also been watching it being recommended. Is it Pat McAfee, the former NFL kicker, I think? Yeah, he does a sports show. And he's telling a story about when he first came into the league and he'd lied. I think maybe before he was getting drafted, they were like,

hey, so, because I think he's going to be like the punter, which means you're the placeholder in a field goal scenario or a or a after um after point scenario so the guy asked him he's like hey you know how to hold right and he's like oh yeah coach yeah of course i know how to hold yeah my whole life never held before and i don't know if you whenever i watch them kick i know the pressure's on that that kicker 100 but we understand when he misses one every now and then. You know who they don't understand? They don't understand when the placeholder juggles the fucking tootsie roll out there.

You just get that thing down. You got to put your finger on it a certain fucking way. And it's got to be presented for fucking big dick because he's been getting himself hyped up over there doing smelling salts and shit for 15 minutes. This is his moment. And you buggle this you're out i would bet so he's lied and he comes in and he like he gets drafted he's on the team he has to tell somebody like hey uh hey coach i'm gonna be honest with you i lied i lied straight to bob's face never ever held in my life like all right you got We're sending you to a holding camp. A holding camp?

They gave him... I can't remember who it was. Another player went with him to holding camp, and he moved into that man's house and learned to hold, because the season is coming. The NFL season, where he's going to be holding. The NFL season. Oh, I got a cram, like it's an exam.

How do I do this part of my job yeah they made a good job he won he's a gifted storyteller which is cool and he's got interesting stories to tell he was uh he was a bit of a drunk you know during his nfl career which i guess you can get away with to some extent when you're a kicker but um you know there he is like oh yeah remember that time i was in the papers for drunkenly falling in the canal here's the background to that and you're like all right sign me up i want to know i was drunk near the canal now the uh the youtube shorts are uh are the best thing about youtube and mark my words tiktok is

going to get banned uh in north america or whatever you want to call it here and uh and youtube shorts are gonna blow up they're gonna be so much bigger they're gonna take all those people over all those big stars all those big stars are gonna get youtube contracts and they're gonna move right on over you can call them big stars. I don't know. I always hear about how you'll have like 50 million views and it monetizes. I mean, online content is always monetized kind of poorly, but this is particularly bad at monetizing, right? Like 50 million views, we made $8. Oh, no.

We lost money. Yeah, we lost money. I know a guy who – so youtube did a thing to promote short so now there's a little more money in it temporarily because they just threw some money at it to make it grow but without that guy i know got 22 million views 38 dollars yeah see say like like what's the point at that point unless Unless the point of your videos is educational or you have such audience retention that maybe you can, I don't know, get them interested in whatever you do that is a living?

I don't know. If you're just fucking doing breakdance moves in your garage, getting 50 million views a hit, but you're making $8, man, you got to go get a real job. You can't dance. you can't dance fuck you're totally right bullshit because you're good at it there has to be something else like this woman who tries on clothes who has the algorithm has figured out that it's interesting to me um i think she might be getting paid by the clothing company at this point or if not that's her master plan and there could be a lot of money in that if she's getting 22 million views to show off some corset then there's you know what i want like like

i want some smart editing with music while she's trying stuff on i've never seen her videos by the way uh-huh she does i'm sorry as the song plays i want her to sort of like turn like a model and sort of like as the items, bong, bong as the items pop onto her body. I don't want to see her change. I just want to see her dressed. I want little price tags to pop out from each little thing she's wearing.

As she models it, I want to be able to see how much this outfit is costing in real time and be able to fucking move. I do like what you're saying. She needs to do that shit like our boy used to do, T-Martin, where you can pick your own outfit. She's got to make 10,000

iterations of the same outfit like different colors and shit, but you just guide through them. You go the right way, she gets naked by the way. She puts nothing on under that. Exactly, exactly that. No, go back.

You've ruined it! Can you turn the volume on, Zach? Not totally solved yet. Two buttons option. Actually turn it back off. Watch it. This is funny. She's horrible to look at. Tool detail.

This is what you're watching on YouTube? Don't judge me. Your wife comes in. I've showed her to my wife when she tried on jeans pajamas. Oh, that's fair. I will say she's cute. See you tomorrow. She's actually done up there. If you

catch her pre-makeup, it's like, oh, you're very good with makeup. What's her name? Do you want the link? Madeline White? How do you spell the first name? Madeline?

Oh, Madeline White. Yes. Yeah, she tries on jeans pants, and she's funny. It's charismatic. I didn't pick that one on purpose because she doesn't look pretty in the beginning. And I thought Kyle would haze it. But she tries on her jeans. And she's like, I like these.

And she's, like, bending her knees. She, like, curls up. She's like, I can move in these. And, like, she's discovering the flexibility of jeans pajamas. She's charismatic. You know what? To each their own. Thank you, Taylor.

That's the best I could have hoped for. I can see I'm not going to win anyone over in this call. And you know what? I'm just going to play my video games from the late 90s and leave people to their things. You enjoy your thing. You enjoy basketball and this lady and her outfits i don't get it i don't get it at all that's okay he doesn't even have a boat he doesn't even have a boat i don't

even understand this one we should uh call it a show yes we're gonna do our hangout in just a few minutes in here before the hangout all right pkn 441 salami mommy that's what i