Painkiller Already - PKN 450

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

pkn 450 you know i'm kind of proud of the fact that our second show is like has a longer window of success than most people's primary 450 that is a lot of them all you gotta do is keep showing up here recording them just keep recording them youtube just keeps taking them i keep thinking youtube's gonna say youtube just keeps saying we have an infinite renewal contract with YouTube. How many things in life, though? All you got to do is show up and do it. That describes the gym. That describes work.

That describes school. That describes so many things. Not everyone just keeps showing up to work. That's true. Sometimes you have to nap. I need a good nap. Taylor, relax. It's 6pm.

How early do you expect him to get up? I know. I was 14 minutes late. Something like that. The impressive thing is it takes 6 minutes after Woody messaged me to be here. You know, like something. How many minutes after I messaged you? I didn't get your message.

Your message was about goblins and ghouls probably. If anything, a more important message to the entertainment tonight because I'm playing a lot tonight. I can't wait to Yeah, I'll play. No, I want to take a nap before this thing and I set an alarm, but

I don't quite understand my new phone and alarms apparently. Kyle's going to be fresh and Taylor's going to be dog tired for tonight's game since he just gets stomped. Who's winning now? Tell the truth. Don't be nice. Don't act like it's 50-50.

Who's winning? Who's winning? We are. I think we're all winning because we're joining each other. I think you're all full of shit. Who's winning? Taylor's better, isn't he? I wouldn't say so.

No, I would. When Kyle and I play each other one-on-one in Domination, it really is pretty split. Like, there will be times where, like, and there will be, like, runs where, like, Kyle might win a couple games in a row because he's doing a new, like, unit distribution or composition that i don't

know how to handle yet or i might you know go really wide with infantry in a way he doesn't know how to handle and i might get a few wins in a row on that so we're like constantly teching and trying to figure out because like if i bring the same army five times in a row against kyle you know by the fifth time he's gonna have it all set up like all right i'm i'm tooled to destroy this shit he's doing so but it's absolutely true that kyle and i wipe everyone else like we when we do 2v2s we're never on the same team um we we put the other people on our teams actually no we did we were on the same team for siege battles so you can do like attack and defend siege where like you're defending a fortress

and you know then the other two are attacking the fortress and you would think like oh kyle and taylor on the same team defending you know that would be really easy but it's not like you know you get 12 000 gold as a defender to build your whole army it's not like the attackers get 13 000 each they get like 19 000 each they get like 60 50 more than you and so were like, it's more because we don't know the meta, but I think every single game we played the attackers won in the siege because we didn't know what to do.

Another question. If you and I were to play, like right now I install the game, whatever. Is it totally fair? For example, if Kyle and I hopped in Tarkov right now, he has a character who's rich and who's skilled, and my gun would recoil more than his,

and my character would need more food. His metabolism is worse. It's not fair. Kyle has earned an advantage. You could argue that's fair, but work with me. In COD, slight advantage. Usually the default classes are serviceable if you're good, but it's better still to have a leveled up character if we

play this game do you have any advantages over me other than just being smarter no no you have the same resource allotment the only difference would be like dlcs and so like i would if i have all the dlc and you don't i have access to a whole bunch more civs but it's not like aha i have the dwarves and you don't you can't defeat me like no if anything you actually have access to the best civ in the game which the way that the company handled slanesh being so overpowered is that they just say well then if you don't like it don't play it and so now the tournaments the rule is just like oh how'd you handle this faction being so much stronger than everything else we just don't allow you to pick it.

Well, yeah, all tournaments do that, right, in all RTSs. And games of any kind, right? You've got picks and bans. FTS and COD, too. There's a lot of things you can't. They really change the way you set. Oh, yeah. Oh, you could change. You could fix... I think the idea is the cool thing about Domination

in this game is for the first time, they're able to have tournaments without that without someone going you're not allowed to put a a gore bulger on the left side of the field everyone knows that you broke the gold the the gore bulger or whatever but with domination it's like oh shit it just keeps track of the rules and everything for you you can just play yeah without some superimposed rule set that requires like nerds watching and because in a game like this it's like did they break the rule or did they almost break the rule for there'll be a rule about and and when you're just playing to purely kill each other and there's no domination flags there's a lot of kiting a lot of running away and not engaging i might have a character who just by my mere presence because

i'm what's called a mortis engine I hurt you when I'm here it hurts you I don't have to hit you I just sit here next to you and it hurts you so you're going to want to hit me and kill me but I'll just run away hurting you you know what I mean like I could do that forever if I'm a little bit faster than you and that's not fair

because that doesn't show who's better at the game it's just cheesing something so by domination you go fight for that domination flag and now you get to hit me and I gotta hit you and we find a winner. It's a lot of fun. RTS is always fun to me.

I like... Any game that measures your intelligence might tell me something I don't want to hear. Therefore, that game sucks. Oh, you have to be very intelligent to pick out your lineup of goblins like no all right bill and joe yes but but pinky no it's um i like it because it does kind of well it's a game it really measures how good you are at the game but there is a intelligence aspect yeah well it's it's rock paper scissors like most rts where like more important than what units you bring is how you use them like if kyle just brings a bunch of

you know anti-large stuff that's good against like ogres or dragons or whatever and he doesn't control them right and he just lets them walk into battle and i take all my anti-infantry swordsmen and make them fight his spears it doesn't matter that if a monster shows up the spears could do real damage to it because they're losing in that engagement against something they're better than or worse than in that alignment and so like yeah just rock paper scissors then you bring the monster in and oh the swordsmen they're getting fucked up but the spearmen have something to say about it like you need to i like the thematics i like zooming in seeing the big monsters the graphics are truly amazing disgusting taylor was saying that it was one of his first experiences with like he'll even he's had good computers before

but he didn't play good games this is the first time he's played a modern game on a modern computer and it's a new experience i was right it's pretty cool you zoom in and they're down there like like raising their spear whatever the weapon is and uh i don't know each one of them has i mean not each one of them it's not like there's 10 000 individual um unique guys but like there's some variety down there they they've got different shirts on and shit and this one's swords rusty. And, you know, it's neat to see. And then you have those huge, like, demon-type monsters. Like, the lord from Khorne is this Belicar or something.

It's the devil. Scarbran, that's what it is. The devil shows up. And you're like, oh, I didn't know we could just play as the devil. Because he's 30 feet tall. He's a demon with wings. He's great. I love as the devil because he's he's 30 feet tall he's great i love bringing the devil he has a sword that's as big as like i don't know a surfboard or something like that he's just

walking around destroying everything he's such a hassle the weaker he gets the more damage he does yeah he just gets the more you hurt him the angrier he gets so yeah i really enjoy rts i like all the clicking um i wish we had a way to check our APM, like know how fast we're clicking, because that's where I'm bad at the game. Staying with it. And then not slowing down in the third quarter and being like trying to take a breath. That's when you really need to start clicking

faster. I got him on the back heel. Faster! Something funny when we're playing is when, like, I think at least kyle and i know like domination is kind of the the grand match like that means more than the land battles and the siege and that's more silly and so like when kyle and i were 2v2ing i had fish on my team last night and fish is struggling his heart's in the right place yeah his heart's in the right place and kyle had a

robot on there and he's actually he's picking it up much better now like it's just that learning curve after you get a few sessions in you start really picking it up and you could like hear the increased level of frustration that i was having towards fish and kyle was having towards robot because like kyle was like harassing me and i was just molesting robots entire army all the way back to their spawn and kyle just like stops and looks back and he goes oh robot so you just didn't hold anything did you so you just let him roll all over it was just because to me it felt like things were going so well like the game began and i started the game by capturing one of the three flags the medium hard one to get not the easy

one the medium hard one i went and got it by myself and then i went on a little stroll and where i killed fish's lord and his magician now he could do nothing do nothing. Now he's just got a bunch of little lizard men who are running around, and he's not good at controlling them. They have no magic. They have no giant monster. They got nothing now, because in one minute flat, I've destroyed the whole leadership on my own and taken no damage.

I glance over, because I expect to see a lot of green icons above guys' heads they like run up the mountain and i look and it's just red and everybody's running down the mountain everybody's down the mountain and then like there's little white flag they got white flags they're waving and some of the white flags are broken with a crying skull next to them and what happened what is why at no point did you go oh things going poorly over here kyle because

because i thought i was being kind and not going destroying them i am molesting them hey fish is this your lord like i was trying to just i'll be i'll be a quiet victor over here and i look and all that shit was going on it was very upsetting to me yeah meanwhile i was thinking like man i can't believe how lucky i am kyle's lord isn't here i'm just going buck wild and in robot space dude at the very end it sounds like we're not talking about it but taylor was doing the same thing to you robot yeah yeah taylor's doing it to robot kyle's doing it to fish i'm here in a fairly even game where maybe the two Titans should have faced each other instead of beating up on each other's.

We beat up. Well, then after we beat up on the other ones, then we beat it up on each other. And it got like down to the wire where like me and fish were in a position because I had capped those like main two flags where it was like, we just need to hold one and we win. Just get told one.

They can take the other two. They can't catch up. And I tell fish with like three minutes left i'm like fish every single lizard you have i don't want you doing anything but send them all to flag one and i'm telling you there were seven lizards standing all around flag one and i'm like fish everyone on flag one everyone on flag one he goes okay two minutes later i look i look back and there is not a lizard man within a mile of this fucking flag and kyle killed them all kyle's almost capped it and i'm like oh oh because if he triple capped they would have won out in the last minute. And I barely walked people on the last second, and Team Taylor and Fish wins. And we were talking afterward, and it was one of those times

where Fish was like, Taylor, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Fish slowed down Kyle just enough. Just enough. It was more like – He was just beating people to Kyle. It was more like we all looked up, and it was like, oh, it was more like beating people to Kyle. It was more like we all looked up and it's like, oh shit, that's right.

We're playing domination and no one is standing on the one flag. And if we catch it, we, we win. And everybody's ran for it in the last, there's a lot of moments like that. Like in call of duty domination, how long is a game?

Um, pretty long. Like, like the domination, I feel like goes 15, 20 minutes. Well, that's not super long a cod dom was like 10 to 12 so that's the thing it's very very intense if you're playing it like if you're watching it it probably looks like a lots of stuff moving slowly gliding across the

field but when you're playing it's like overwhelmingly hard to do like I'm playing at my maximum and failing right like i'm i can't click it fast enough yeah and you're i'm always looking up and being like oh yeah i forgot i sent him in there for one second to do a thing he was supposed to pop right back out by in there i mean in that blob of enemies who are just screaming at each other and dying down there um you know you send your guy in there to do a thing he should pop right and Now look and he's melting. I've played Civ that way. Like, oh shit. This thing's been making these for the

last 150 years. If he has anything that's vulnerable to crossbows, he's fucked. Are mortars vulnerable to crossbows? Look, children. In Italian society they've been making nothing but archers for 1,500 years.

Are they the finest archers in the world, Daddy? Not at all. They make the same ones from 1,500 years ago. Look at him. He's basically a caveman with a bow. They're still doing it. They just keep making archers.

Yeah, I mean, if you just sit there and don't fucking um there's no ai to take over and be nice for you and start buying like better shit there's there's two ways to play the game uh tall and wide people who play it tall have cities that are very good these cities crank out a unit like practically every turn and they're a lot. I like to play wide. I'm not saying it's better. I just think it's more fun to have a lot of maybe less awesome cities each churning something out. And when you play

wide, it's easy to forget what your fifth best city is doing. And that's how it happens. I enjoy that too. I like micromanagement and macromanagement. This game doesn't have any macro, really, aside from maybe winds of magic.

But that's a minute part of the thing. Company of Heroes has a macro. I'll probably play some Company of Heroes at some point whenever I get burnt out of this. But the DLC is about to come out. They're about to do a full rebalance of everything. The version that those guys are playing on Lentern and Anticity and getting those guys, they're playing

on the new version. Warhammer 3. A Company of Heroes 3, if you ever do want to dip your toes in a little gaming with us, that's World War 2 top-down RTS, so you draw a box around your machine gunner and set up over here, and you

are fighting for fuel points and you need fuel to get vehicles. Yeah, it's a good game. Have you been following the Ukraine war? Let's see. I've been following Warhammer fantasy lore. Yeah, me too, honestly.

I watched a 30 minute video about Scarbrand and how he was so arrogant that he attacked Khorne and was correct. Anyway. So Russia and Ukraine are battling in this city called Bakhmut. Bakhmut is just rubble. You know the population of Bakhmut right now

if you remove the combatants? Let me guess. 30. You're close. I think it's zero. I think there's nobody in Bakhmut. Whenever I see a war-torn city, they show

you the damaged building, and I'm like, yeah, that does look bad. It's in the street and everything. That's all of Bakhmut. The whole place is just fucking wrecked. There's hardly a building that hasn't been hit with artillery. The people who are using these buildings are just like,

close the bedroom door. since there's no distinguishing inside and outside in that room. We'll just close that door and use the rest of this house and temporarily hold up here. Anyway, both sides are about to claim victory in Bakhmut. What's going to happen is the Russians have been taking Bakhmut a hundred meters at a time, just crawling forward, crawling forward, crawling. Look at that shithole. Nothing is, is anything good there. And the Russians are going to say, we got Bakhmut. The Ukrainians are going to say Bakhmut served its purpose. We destroyed 3000 tanks and 120 120 000 men and lost five percent of that this is a win for us and it's like i sold you a shitty honda civic for a million dollars on one hand you paid too high a

price on the other hand you've got the civic i don't know who won in this but that's pretty common in war for both sides to be like actually that's what we wanted everyone everybody clap jeb style like for my brilliant strategy i found that please clap yeah i found some pro-russian propaganda to try to balance out my pro-ukrainian propaganda which i've been watching just take the average i don't have a better idea it's definitely the average would be definitely more accurate than either one, but where? I think it's clear which one makes more sense, though. You've got one side who may or may not lie to fire their people up,

and you've got another side that's forced to lie or you go to jail. True, I can't argue against that. You're always going to get the lie from the Russian side. They'll never tell you bad things about them. That I agree with. The Russians will tell you the truth if the truth is good for them. And the Ukrainians, for example, might want to lie in that situation. And you never know.

It's really hard to tell. But the Russians are pretty excited they're going to take Bakhmut. And the Ukrainians are like, yeah, but we have this big counteroffensive coming. They got their worst snowfall in 10 years for some reason at like April 1st maybe. And you're not supposed to get bad snowfall on April 1st. But the world's crazy. And that's what happened. And the Ukrainian counteroffensive is now put on hold.

Or they're telling me that because the whole planet knew it was about to come. And now they're like, I can't do planet knew it was about to come and now they're like i can't do it change of plans i don't know we'll find out i don't know about that but i'm tired of those climate nazis telling me what temperature it's supposed to be like yeah like there's some ancient race of being that's been here longer than me or something like that like what do you mean supposed to be they've been they've been crying wolf too how many times has new york supposed to have been underwater by now with with some water like in a in a billionaire's mansion you know what billionaires and millionaires

and politicians don't do when you're worried your neighborhood's going to go underwater you don't buy a house near the sea like it's not like is that something that people really still like believe is that like one of those old no now people really think that cities are underwater you know they rebranded they went to climate change because global warming didn't work anymore global warming sounds pleasant everybody wants a little global warning. They've rebranded to climate change and more severe climate events. Florida, it's real. The insurance companies are raising their rates by 15%

after the last super hurricane that hit Florida. It just costs more now. That's nothing, though. If you're a veteran, you get that slash right off the top. True. You'll live in Florida if you're a veteran. I mean, please refer to me as saluting yeah commandant woody here i'd make that i'd make that a lot don't be choosy about what army i served that's the sort

of law that president trump would make he would make stealing valor like uh uh uh you'd be punished with death or or he oh a bounty hunting squad who does nothing but find people who steal valor. The Proud Boys. No, they are sorry, taken. I don't know what I work on. The crowd that we served in the military boys. And they also are faking it. Dude, that's what I want to do.

I'm going to start a YouTube series where I'm impersonating a Marine going around calling people out for stolen valor. And you do it really poorly. And I'm also, I like wearing a green beret hat. What's your HO number, bro? What's your HO? What's your zip code?

Semper Fi. Huh? Did you graduate from Camp Wimbledon? Did you graduate? No,imbledon? Yeah. Did you graduate? No, you didn't. I did.

I played tennis there. I got a little Andre Agassi over here. Okay. What were you? Were you a lieutenant colonel? I was a major colonel. That's not a one. I was a major colonel.

I was one of the most major colonels in the entire military i watched maverick the yeah the tom cruise movie i thought it was okay um i wasn't i i thought there was man they really lean fan as well like i expect you to really enjoy it i'm open to tom cruise uh i i would they leaned so heavily on the nostalgia and the and the story from the first one you know the first one, his buddy Goose dies in training. And so now it's like, oh, my God. He's still broken up about. And Goose's son and him have this weird relationship. And Goose looks just like him.

And Goose's son sings the songs that Goose sang in the 80s. He's singing Great Balls of Fire. That that goose sang in the 80s like he's singing good great balls of fire and it wasn't popular in the 80s either i mean uh you hit my nerves and you it was kind of big when i was a kid from like the 60s uh i don't know when i was a kid it was like like little richard was like um all over cartoons like nickelodeon maybe like i i just remember being exposed a lot to Little Richard as a kid. That was Jerry Lee Lewis. Ah, he's the one who fucked his little underage cousin. Well, we all have hobbies.

He married her, that's right. She was 13, I think. I didn't know about any of this. He's a cool guy, you should see him. He played the shit out of a piano. Had to be on cocaine. Good for him. Yeah, man.

With the piano part, not the other part. He lived his best life. Nobody ever said a word about that other stuff. And you know, like, he could have had any lady he wanted, but he wanted that 13-year-old cousin. That's what hit the spot for Jerry Lee Lewis. What a creep. That's what did it.

He's famous, and he dates and marries his 13-year-old cousin. I don't think there's a lot of dating. I think he just started pumping babies into her. How long ago is this? 15, 20 years ago. It's 1987, right? It's 1987. It's 1987.

It's still 1987, right? You could have had me. I don't fucking know who that guy is yeah um yeah like 80s 97 of that's true um but yeah i don't care about i hate when anyone has a thing to say about the fucking environment or conserving or fucking like like throwing your garbage away the way they want you to someone was talking about recycling fucking pizza boxes the other day like like the special way you're supposed to do it because the oil in them and it's like i just burn them with in the backyard on a pile of old batteries that's my neighbor's problem dumbass i don't care i just don't care like one thing i do care about is like i don't

want to cause like direct harm to like that i'm not saying like pour the oil in your local river i want to like that's directly hurting our animals but as far as like supporting some company that does some evil on the other side of the planet does it make things cheaper for me oh great then great then because i when i see those africans grinding away in those pit mines and they're like listen to the sound joe they're showing this to joe rogan listen to the sound that's the sound of them grunting and pain and effort. It's like, yeah, it's called work. It's called fucking work. You see that cloud of dust,

Joe? That's all poison that those children are breathing in. Yeah, it gets dusty. It's Africa. Rise and grind. Build them some fucking high-rises and get them in there. They rise and grind. They don't want money. They'd rather earn money.

Keep doing it. Because rare earth elements are getting so much character development, it might kill them. That's how they're doing. I just don't care. In the mind. And I do believe in climate change.

I suppose that maybe the temperature isn't exactly the way it would have been if we never existed. And I think that's great. That says a lot about us and our impact as a species. I'm proud of our ability to change the climate of a whole goddamn planet. And I just don't care. I just don't care. Because if it gets warmer, we'll just live in a warmer world. It's been warmer. It's been cooler. It's been all sorts of things. Yeah, it's fine. Get over it, everybody. Stop panicking. People act like we'd all know it's been cooler it's been all sorts of things yeah it's fine get over it everybody stop panicking people act like we'd all it's not going to be underwater hear me out anyone who has

who doesn't have air conditioning can die that's how i feel what is all of europe warming the planet by a little bit brings a time of great abundance that suddenly we're all tropical, that the farms are just killing it with increased metabolism and they just grow a little taller and a little faster. Corn's better at a degree or two warmer. It's bigger. You know what? I'm going to buy a

steel drum in preparation for this wonderful future we're bringing in with all of our CO2. Everyone, get your hairspray out and spray it jubilantly into the sky. That's not even bad for the environment anymore. They fixed that. See, they fixed all that. Every time they...

Look, people act like there's not actual change. Remember that hole in the ozone layer? I do. They fixed it. Yeah. They fixed a hole in the fucking ozone layer. They fixed it through people making a small personal sacrifice for the betterment of the planet.

No, they fixed it by government regulation changing the way they made fucking aerosol cans. So before that? Government regulation? A hole in the ozone layer? Yeah, you didn't know this? What was it? CRC?

Something like that. It was one of those scary things. It had big letters. It's like a daddy scientist wrote it. Methane or I don't know. In the aerosol cans. In like every aerosol can. WD-40, hairspray, you name it. That was like how

they did it back in the day. And for some reason like an aerosol can could destroy some huge amount of ozone. like it was just chloro fluorocarbons well there must be a cfc maybe anyway they were able to make aerosol cans out of something else and it had a huge impact on the entire planet yeah they used something else to pressurize them um like they fixed that that got fixed but i just don't believe that like we're

in any way like the temperature's going up every every temperature's definitely going up there's no arguing about that yeah but like does it matter and is it going up in a meaningful way how hot will it be 25 years from now oh it won't be bad then yet. All right, how about 50? Oh, you know, it'll be... You'll still be fine. 200 years from now? And you're getting close to the dark times now, son. Oh, my God. They don't know.

Show me your goddamn timeline and stick to it. And if your timeline breaks, then come forward and be like, you know what? We owe y'all a lot of money in straws. A lot of money in straws. A lot of money in straws. We need more money because actually it's 18 years until Baltimore is totally submerged. And that's going to cost us $100 billion to talk about.

Okay. All right. Well, fuck you. Yeah, I agree, Kyle. Do whatever you want, people. Like the planet. We're not the ones throwing plastic in the ocean. That's Bangladesh. That's China.

That's India. Everything. They're the ones hurting all those fucking whales. I'm okay with keeping the ocean in check. The ocean's nice. They're building coal fire generators right now in China. The primary way we make electricity here is coal. That's what we do here.

We think we're some advanced society. That's not true. Where does our electricity doesn't like the majority of plurality or whatever doesn't come from burning coal? I'm pretty sure that's not true. I think it's natural gas because coal is expensive as fuck. But I'll look it up. Okay, well, I mean, natural gas is the same thing.

I think Kyle means fossil fuels. Well, I meant coal, but I still would have thought that coal was the main source of life it's closer than i thought i'm just looking at this chart from 2016 natural gas is the biggest that at 36 percent coal is 30 nuclear is 20 this year it has to be coal after that pipeline thing. And it has to be, right? I would imagine. I bet that shifted things.

But still, to imagine that. I think of coal as chimney sweet times. No, coal is down to 11%. Like naughty. Since 2016 to now, coal has gone from 30% to 11%. The rest of it is petroleum or natural gas. Globally? This is just America.

Oh, well, I'm really more concerned with the planet. Oh, I thought we were talking about America. I don't know. No, the whole point is how silly it is to keep focusing on America when it comes to, hey, hey, hey, did you spill? Yeah, because that Chinese child spilled 10 million gallons in comparison. Yeah, well, now you have to have a soggy straw, dumbass. What I'm saying is we walk this fucking line of nonsense

while our competitors across the ocean, who outnumber us five to one, have no such silly rules. Do they have an entire holiday in China where they all just walk up and piss into the sea? Oh, it's trash day. Oh, you're the lizard. Have you seen those videos of Chinese people stealing scum oil to use in the restaurants?

They go out into the sewers, the exposed sewers where the gutter just runs feces and refuse down into holes. But the oil floats to the top. So they're out there with ladles, ladling it. And the lady catches her. She's like yelling at her in Chinese or whatever. Like, you can't feed this to people. You're using gutter oil.

You can't use gutter oil. Mind your business in Chinese. And like scurries inside with use gutter oil and she's like mind your business in chinese and like scurries inside with her gutter oil and apparently it's a very common practice because i've seen two different videos definitely not even in the same part of that of people like getting gutter oil out of their disgusting outdoor sewers oh that's a very asian to do. If you think about it, I mean, as disgusting as it is, I think you could go literally into a septic tank and get the oil that was on top.

Eat that all up to 425. Hey, let it go for 20 minutes if you want. Then throw some French fries in and who cares? No. What's in there? What's in there that's bothering you? We'll even filter it. We'll filter it twice.

No. See, this is how you end up with this. This would be your fucking green boondoggle. This is where COVID actually came from. What's in there that you're so afraid of? After I take that shitty oil and I boil it at 425 for an hour, or however long, you know, and then I filter it.

And I don't mean like a carbon filter or anything. I'm going to run through some cheesecloth. Yeah, I'm catching any bits. Anything you could ever see. Anything that's in there is microscopic and dead. A carbon filter would catch the oil, I think. Make sure...

We'll test the safety on that later. I would absolutely eat some of that scum oil. I think it'd be fine. There's nothing alive in that scum oil. I think it'd be fine. There's nothing alive in that scum oil at this point that could hurt you. Kitchen oil used to be free. I had friends who would fill up their diesel trucks with it.

It was trash. It was something they paid to have taken away. Now they get paid for it. Have you ever smelled the exhaust of a truck that's burning that? It smells like french fries. It smells like french fries it smells like french not not exactly like french fries but it's close like because because they're using oil that that has sort of been imbued with some french fry

stink as well who knows how long mcdonald's keeps their oil before they decide it's time to you know throw it out i don't know that is a premier item i bet they they use a wonder how that works do they change the oil every day in a fryer i'm making works yeah because at home i would like i would keep the oil for several days or if i sealed it and filtered it for months i worked at a diner it wasn't mcdonald's and they changed it every day that makes sense i bet that gets expensive though that would be a big cost to have to go through gallons and gallons of cooking oil a day you didn't have to ever change the oil at the one at the mcdonald's i was there for a total of maybe four work sessions never there for one one oil batch probably uh i was there long enough to get a real good sense of how a mcdonald's works to realize i hated it and that everyone there was an idiot like even the manager like the guy

running stuff was just a buffoon um and that it was it was a way dirtier than i found acceptable to we're not gonna wash up or anything hurry up yeah yeah yeah that's that's a very gross thing about the food service industry is just how disgusting so much of it is like the it is so common for people to fuck with food like do and do shit like that like if you have friends who have worked in you know food service they can tell you so many horror stories of the like ex-cons they worked with who do stuff like that like no one fucked with the food where i worked no one and it wasn't that like it was so sacred you could never it was just like well i've got shit to do like i was a low man right so i like buttered toast and stuff

i didn't fuck with your toe i just put butter on i was always worried my boss would complete if i put the amount of butter i liked on there he's like what are you gonna give my heart attack if i don't put enough butter on there and they're complaining on the other side and there's a very small window of the accurate amount of butter to put on fucking toast and i on the fucking toast but i'm a professional with this i guess i'm like 14 years old no signs of puberty buttering toast for people getting yelled at by my boss what a make work job hey butter boy i seriously wasn't fucking with the toast i just tried to do my job well well you're a good guy you would i wouldn't fuck with people's food either because

I know how much it would upset me to have my food fucked with. You know my favorite scene? Remember that movie Road Trip when the kid, he's like, ah, my French toast. I didn't want any powdered sugar on here. And the guy's super cool about it. He's like, ah,

so sorry about that, buddy. I never do that. Never mess up like that. Let me get back there. Get you a fresh piece. How about that? Roll fresh order. Real quick. Double quick.

Let's go. And he like runs back all jolly. And he takes that piece of French toast that this guy had and just molests it. He goes, like licks all the French toast off of it. What is this from? He throws it in the air. He throws it in the air over his head, reaches back and pulls his waistband out

so it falls down his ass crack. And it's back there in his ass crack while he does more abominable things to the rest of the meal. Is this a Reddit video? A movie or someone you know? A movie. Oh, okay.

Is that way too long? Yeah, road trip. Road trip. Yeah, the original one. i just like to think highly i like to think that there are like surgeon level people back there in the in the kitchen and there are not no you know what i picked i like to imagine it's a bunch of everything's white back there everything like they're wearing white uniforms with the little paper caps. All the walls

are white. All the people are white. And they're just doing it. They're just getting your Red Robin burger ready for you. Keep the fries coming. Red Robin. I mean, they call it White Castle for that reason. It's all white people, white robes, white... It's spotless,

really. I've never had a red robin burger i've never been to red robin it's i've heard their logo chain burger it's very good and that's you know i can say i don't i i think i've come to the point in my life where i've realized i don't like hamburgers i don't think they're very good oh they're so great you're i think that i'm this one i think our culture just lied to me long enough that I believed that they were good, but they're really just... I mean, that chunk of burger is... You've got to do a... It's just not good.

It's just the toppings. It's just the toppings. And, like, hamburger meat's not good. Like, I eat that every day. Fucking hamburger meat. I don't think of myself... Well, it is 93% fat-free, and I crumble it up.

93.7 is not, you don't make a burger out of that. You make a burger out of fucking 50, 50. What's 93 seven. Is that 93? 7% fat. What do you make a burger out of?

80, 20. I asked it wrong. What, what do you use that for? I like the really lean beef. You could do it for like, kyle's diet or like lettuce wraps or just anything that you want you could make burgers out of it it's just you have to go

into it knowing like hey this is gonna be a lean ass burger and you're gonna need a lot of moisture on it could you make an 80 20 burger and then just like george foreman grill it to be 93 does that work no no we're gonna have the same amount of fat that runs out. Well, I mean, fat's going to run out of both piles of meat, but your meat is just fattier. There's a lot more fat in there. It tastes way better. You can't just squish it

and grill it on that incline. The George Foreman grill, you know what it is. I'm not a food scientist, but I really don't think that you can take a patty or... I am, so I'll step in. My wife does this to me all the time. She asks me questions, so I'll be stressed over something.

Like, man, I'm trying to figure this out. I'm Googling or whatever, and I'll make up the problem. Like, man, I had to fit a nightstand into the back of a Honda Civic, and I just don't know if it's going to work. I don't know if I can figure this out. I'm really stuck on it. She's like, okay, how big is the nightstand?

How big is the Honda Civic? I'll help you out. It's like, woman, you think if I had that data, I'd be here stressed, but I just needed you to put it all together for me. You must think I'm some sort of fool sitting here

with my thumb up my ass. And put, oh, well, honey, I think a Honda Civic is this big and a Honda Civic is this big. Well, they fit. Yeah, honey, think about it. Is six bigger than eight? No, but it'll fit, won't it?

Well, the Civic is definitely bigger. That's a good start. And these are irregularly shaped objects. I can't get the dimension of the Honda Civic, 27 inches. Like, what is the height of the back of it this far from the back seats? I don't know. What is the yaw of the back of it this far from the back seats i don't know what is the yaw of the headrest like do i have to take that out and then put it on the floor so the head there's

a bunch of those around here i like dealing with my problems on my own like if it's a it's a problem like that i don't want anyone to to be in the room when i'm working on the thing i don't i like like like the lap if you're standing over me i'm like are you fucking timing me like this is one of those ikea tests or some shit because i'm trying to figure out how this fucking goes together i can't have somebody watching me because nothing infuriates me more than like an object tool a thing i've bought and i can't get it together it won't work right or even more likely the parts didn't come they sent me the wrong one that's just very upsetting i've broken a lot of things right out of the box in my life for sure

by just patiently being frustrated with them broke my first paintball gun like that and cried like a baby in the parking lot i was i was a young child but dad I remember my dad came out of... It was in Athens. Yeah, it was Franklin's Gun Store in Athens. My dad came out and was like, here you go! And I'm like, take the thing out of the box. I'm trying to get the sight to adjust, but it's got a screw that you have to loosen first before it will adjust.

And I just break it the fuck off. Just break it. I'm in the parking lot. I'm crying. I'm just real upset about it. That piece of shit paintball guy. Did Dad let you learn a painful lesson or solve your problem? Do you recall?

I think we just bought better paintball guns after that because that one was a piece of shit. Yeah, that was no good. I think we bought two paintball guns after that and got good ones so that we could play together. They were called GT2000s, and they were giant blocks of aluminum. They were junk, but they worked, and they were a lot of fun.

Are they those pump ones? No, no. Never started. We knew people who had pump ones. That's how we heard about paintball. My half-sister, her and her family had a little pump. It's called a talon. They sold them at Walmart, and you'd pump, pump, pump.

They had those little cartridges of co2 you like yeah 12 grams yeah yeah 12 gram co2s if you were a bad boy you had like a 7.5 ounce or that screwed in the back or something like that but uh my sister my sister told dad he's like yeah yeah they hurt she had these bruises on her they'd been just playing in the yard with no masks they just bought they just bought a couple guns and that's great and there's blasting each other out there and uh and and dad like oh that looks fun kyle you've seen this i have literally been begging for this my whole life as far as i know and uh we got we got pretty into it after that but we definitely wore masks because right away you saw that that thing

will blow your eyeball right out. Yeah, after you shoot a paintball gun once, you're like, oh, okay, this is like an after-school special is going to be made about this with a kid in an eye patch. I hate to get shot in the face. It really sucks. I've been shot everywhere else. I've been

shot everywhere else. I've been shot so many times. I assure you it's terrible. When you get shot in the face, part of you has to be thankful that it's like, okay, it's not my eye. Well, that's what I really meant. I meant like, I've been shot around the edges a little bit. Nothing like

Woody has. Woody is the king of those. I don't know. You literally had two of the worst paintball injuries i've ever seen they were that one kid just shot you point blank in the side of the face though like he was panicking and he had his finger on the trigger surrounded by good guys panicking scare i don't know it sucked i mean you got to watch that video that cop having that panic attack and crying and then they have to take the gun away from him.

That could happen at paintball too. I don't know if I told you about it. I got to find it. I remember you telling me about it. It's fucking crazy. You've taken some of the worst ones I've ever seen. I haven't played in forever. I don't know where my guns are. Maybe they're at Kitty's house. I definitely know where mine are.

I still have them. I'm talking to Kyle and me. Both of you. I don't have any. I think I have one. You should have had one, Taylor. I guess you were one of the special people who got to keep one. No, Tim Martin and I didn't get one. Lame.

They only gave us so many. I have them all. I have them all. You know what would have happened if I would have been given a paintball gun in 2011? It would be sitting in that closet right now since 2012. Yeah.

They only gave us five, so we split it up four in one. I do recall seeing a lot of guns on that trip. And then Kyle walking out like... Here's what legitimately... Well, I mean, the idea was

that they were going to be for those trips, but we didn't know if everybody was always going to be returning for those trips. So the idea was... Well, I mean, the whole point was that they'd be representing whatever the sponsor was at the time. So I've got all those guns in their boxes,

brand new, more or they're they're sitting there but they're still high quality good guns i mean they still fucking work or whatever uh i've probably got eight or ten guns something like that i've got two or three good guns you could cut out like a whole like a like a whole party in the woods oh i could bring so much joy to like a small little community center of young men with with my collection of nonsense and goodies you should theoretically it's not in the cards for them uh what i'd rather do is like one of those youtube videos where you just take a bunch of shit and ruin it right like i saw uh one of the guys from red letter media mike mike has this video called like i don't know world-class loser destroys thousands of vintage star wars figurines out of spite he like called

and it's him dumping all of his childhood star wars figurines they fill up an aquarium and pouring some sort of solvent on them so they start melting and convulsing as they bleed their ink and all it's like a thousand luke skywalker's eyes bleeding out of them. The whole internet, oh, you could have given those to children. They were a sticky Raisinette pack of fools. They didn't have resale value. That was my thing. It's a goof to

burn stuff in front of children, but to do it with cash is the sin. Video's got two million views. See if you can get the one ring and then cut that up yeah apparently that's the thing right now that since they've got the the lord of the rings pack of magic cards they made they made a one ring like a willy wonka golden ticket type situation where there is just one so stupid so stupid i wouldn't i'm not buying a single goddamn pack of that shit i'm

never buying more magic cards that's you interested you shouldn't share that that's like an std or a hard drug you keep that to yourself it's like a it's like a cult that used to be part of that like made you brand yourself and now you're out but when someone brings it up at a par you're like oh the tall folk yeah Yeah, they're great. You should join. Don't they worship the owls and brand people? You should check it out. You should have guided me away from magic.

That's what you should do. I don't think so. I think magic is very cool. It's a cool game for cool people. It's a good economic decision. It definitely is not the game equivalent of buying an airplane it is a good it's it's fun to buy cards if you limit it to just drafts like you don't construct stuff and you just like with friends open packs to make decks in real time but then there's the problem of like no one ever wants to do that because again it's

magic the gathering there's not a i don't have a very deep bench of friends who, and I probably have more friends than the average person who like will play Magic and like enjoys those games with me. But yeah, it's, it is, to anyone out there who's not yet into Magic, don't buy any cards. Just download Magic the Gathering Arena and try that free to play for a bit

and see if you like it. But don't buy the cards. It is getting ridiculous how expensive these are. How expensive are they? I mean, it's like a booster box, which is like 36 packs, is like $120 on a very average cost. 36 packs of cards. I assume that's a lifetime supply more than you'll ever want no it's a tiny i have i mean how many cards do you need i mean i have like

he he would happily throw away 90 of the cards he's getting he's opening those to try to get rares that that actually go together to create play sets that are viable in the meta. And you can't just go buy the blue card you want. You have to buy dozens of packs that might have it in there. And it's the money pit. You can buy, if you're going to play Magic physically, don't buy packs at all.

Just find a deck list online and then buy all those individual cards online and then what's going to happen is you're going to have a deck that you like and it performs well and then it's going to stop performing well and then you're going to buy more cards to put in it and then it's going to perform well again and then you're going to get bored with that deck because you played someone else's deck with a totally different strategy and you go well i just spent hundreds of dollars on this deck but i really want this one okay after this one i'll be done for a while but you can say well it gets very expensive and there is no cap on how expensive it can be because the meta keeps expanding and stuff at least with this rts game we're playing it's very similar by

the way i can play as the dwarves but there's like a bunch of different play styles to play as the dwarves and you can think of each unit as a card that has skills and stuff because it's meant to be played on tabletop that's where the game came from it's but when you buy Total War and all the DLC you just have everything now you have all the cards

and there's no more nickel I mean they do nickel and dime you every time a DLC comes out $22 it's insane just to get Chaos Dwarves I mean, they do nickel and dime you every time a DLC comes out. $22. It's insane. Just to get Chaos Dwarves. And I'm going to get it because I can't have you being able to play Chaos Dwarves and I can't play Chaos Dwarves. They have a really interesting lord for the Chaos Dwarves.

Normally the dwarves... The guy on the flying bull or the guy with the robot legs. He's got robot legs. He's in a mech suit. So he's taller and faster than anyone else in the game his speed is like 130 the fastest cavalry is 120 that's not typical for a dwarf they're usually dangerous over short distances no he's in this mech suit with big powerful legs and his eyes are glowing he's got sharp teeth he's cool it's gonna be really fun to play as those guys. They're like an evil industrialist

dwarves who have goblin slaves. It's fun. It should be cool. A couple weeks. A couple weeks, something like that. Do you have a TV show for me to watch? I'm out. I'm out of TV shows. You got halfway

through the Pedro Pascal movie and somehow didn't finish it. That upsets me. Well, it's not that I... What happened is I rented it after PKA last week. I got through like half of it and it was like midnight. And so I turned it off and went to bed. And then I forgot I had rented it and the 48 hours expired. And so now I...

The first half was pretty good. What was it called again? The Unbearable Weight of Awesome Talent. Immeasurable Weight of Great of Talent. Something like that. It's Nick Cage and Pedro Pascal. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. It's the one where Nick Cage gets paid by a millionaire to hang out with him for a day.

The millionaire is Pedro Pascal. And they go on this crazy, like, they have a ton of fun together. And it's silly. I enjoyed. I like Pedro Pascal a lot he was pretty pretty funny I like the meta nature of the film so that you're getting you're seeing a little bit I think that is what Nick Cage is like

I think that's what Nick Cage is like because I think he took the role seriously and tried to play himself so he just showed up. It was fun. I liked it a lot, but now I'm out of shit. I don't know. I'm watching old Star Trek again. I'm watching Doctor Who and

it's not great right now. I have a bad doctor and a bad companion and I'm just trying to get to the other side. I think he's about to die. I think she just died maybe. She took another form so she might kick around a little bit but i think she's dead i think he's dead i think i think we're gonna wipe the slate clean we'll see oh taylor knows this i'm in that stage where you're like invested

in a show enough that you're pushing through even though it's not great you finished walking dead i presume i have been taking a nice pregnant pause no it's so fucking stupid you need don't you want to know what's going to happen to the commonwealth do you do you want do you know what sebastian get? You don't know? I just was watching it and I was like, I don't care what happens to anyone who's left. There's not one character left who I'm like, oh no,

I hope the annoying guy with the false arms okay. I hope, oh no. Base arm. Oh, the deaf girl who, I don't know how integral to the story she's supposed to be because she comes on screen and they re-remind you that she's deaf because she's going like that to someone. And then the other person has to look over and be like, she's saying there's zombies near. And it's like, yeah, she's deaf.

We know. and it's like yeah she's deaf she we know like like the the most see having a deaf character is almost as dumb as is is dumber than a fat character all her other senses are improved maybe yeah no they're not anybody who says that is like like that's silly too yeah that's so like i some deaf mute guy out with ears like a bat like it wouldn't be that deaf then i just i'm surprised they didn't have a guy i'm surprised they weren't so like woke that they tried to have some guy in a wheelchair and he was just like they're like how did you survive this long in a chair? He's like, you think I use

my brain, not my legs. This is Dewey. He's our most dangerous fighter. And it's a guy who's like, he doesn't have brains. The crutches? The zombies aren't attracted to him. He goes up there and he just smokes.

It's just like Crutch Battles people with his brace crutches. They've all got helmets on, but it's to protect them from themselves. Forward! My retard legion! And they've got their play school. I don't want to watch another bad TV show like that. You were talking about,

and this isn't like a plot-driven show, but go on Disney Plus and watch the first seasons of The Simpsons. You were saying you wanted to watch that. You should. Start with season one, and then when you get to season eight and nine, it's going to fade out a little bit. Yeah. Really nine.

I'm going to tell you, ten's fine. Maybe. Ten's a live action. I got nothing. Yeah, I don't have a good one either I'm not liking it this season of Mandalorian is not very good I don't care for this season at all so yeah

I'm out of stuff to watch I've mostly been playing Total War and learning about Total War and taking care of that poor fucking dog did you see the pictures of my poor dog so I shaved him. Summer's coming. He was getting hot, so I

shaved him down everywhere, and now he looks mostly like a poodle. But his poor fucking ears. I thought he just had thick ears, but they were all matted. His fur was just matted to the skin. And his whole ear.

So I had to shave his ear. I just put his ear in the palm of my hand and took the razor and just... How well did he behave during this? Pretty well. Yeah, he didn't freak out for sure. Every now and then he'd be like, ah, come on, what are you doing to me here?

But he didn't try to run away or anything. So he's matte-free now, but he has, like, naked ears. And when I feel them, they're super hot. Now he, like, loves little ear massages because he's got these bald ears that you can just kind of roll around your hands, and he's just like, oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. Great. Yeah, I think you did a pretty good job for someone who's never shaved a poodle before.

Yeah, I mean, I just put the guard on and went to town. He's a lot skinnier and lankier than I thought he was under all that fur, but he's been a fun dog. It's time to get him fixed. It's time. Is he done growing, you think?

He marked a trash can today, so he's done indoors like he's been housebroken for a while now and then he like marked a trash can today it's okay that's it that's the end that'll cost you two balls that's gonna cost you toby it's bad it's good trick to trip to the doctor so you're going to just your local vet? Yeah, he needs all of his shots. Friend of a friend. There's that organization I went to that I love.

Spain? What is that? NC? So I get all my shit done. No, Mikey J! Yeah, you know, it's a shame. He's got enormous testicles. They're fucking, like, when he runs around, they just they are huge holy shit and he's got a brown one and a white one um which is just hilarious but but they gotta go they gotta go because you can't have him pissing all over your

house i know that you cannot abide yeah that'll be no good i mean and then the other dogs that'll upset them because they're going to be going what the fuck you're marking around in here well now i'm going to mark in here i think they know better the dog that y'all said had down syndrome is like filled out and like he looks so much better now he just he talks now he like grunts and groans and like chomps his teeth at me all day yeah yeah i like vocal dogs that's very sweet i took my couch and instead of i've got like an l-shaped sectional and i took the l and turned it in on itself and made a mega couch and all the dogs are on mega couch with me and we're just in there with like three blankets and four enormous pillows and just in a big pile together it's's great. I'm like a child.

I'm like Robinson. I'm like Winnie the Pooh. What was Winnie the Pooh's little friend, Christopher Robin? Christopher Robin. Yeah, I'm Christopher Robin over here with these fucking animals having a good time every night. Except you're not being molested. Kyle, I sent you a link.

And it's a spay-neuter thing. It looks like they're Georgia-focused. And I'm just convinced that it's a good idea because we did it with one of our dogs and they just do this one surgery. That's what they do. They spay and neuter dogs all. They'll do like 16 a day and they seem

to be experts at it. We had good results. As opposed to a general vet who's like fixing broken bones and cleaning ears and cutting toenails and spaying on the side. Yeah. Just a thought. I'm looking for a one-stop shop.

The thing about this operation in particular is y'all can have them. If we were repairing a testicle, I feel like you're right, Woody. There's testicle repair people that do it all day, but we're just obliterating them. I mean, I could probably head. I mean, I could do i got a leather man i'm cheaper than these guys you want to like i remember my dad doing it to bulls he would use that rubber band you squeeze this plier like device that spreads the four prongs apart and they in turn open up a very small o-ring like rubber band that is way more powerful than any rubber band you've ever used and they in turn open up a very small o-ring like rubber band that is way more powerful than any

rubber band you've ever used and they just slip it over the balls and let it go and it you know they just it must hurt like hell but then i'm sure they go numb and then they fall off after a while because no blood supply i've heard about it on youtube yeah that's terrible well it'd be terrible preferred method yeah i've heard that too. Yeah. You could use a knife and burn it. You wouldn't want that. No, that's very old timey. I don't know how I want to be

neutered. Can I just have a vasectomy? You don't have to. This is for Toby. Well, it's a question. No, a vasectomy won't do the trick. What do you got hurt in this paramotor accident again? It's like Jackie crying over you with a rifle.

Like, I'm going to put you down. Your leg's broken. No, Jackie, no. It's a broken ankle. I do this every two years. Get out of here. Go. He tells the story.

He asked for it. He asked. He begged me to do it. He tells the story. He asked for it. He asked. He begged me to do it. Treating an injured person like those dogs that you want to run back into the wild at the end of a movie. Screaming in pain. You're like,

Get out of here! Go! Bang! Shooting in the air. They're crawling away. I am hungry. Time to eat. Ready to wrap? Yeah. PKN 450.