Painkiller Already - PKN 453

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

BKN 453. What's up, boys? How's it going? Oh, just enjoying my fine Tuesday. Going to watch the Hurricanes. Actually, no, we're doing the Hangout. So I will not be watching the Hurricanes. But they can close out their series tonight against the Islanders.

Have the Islanders won a game yet? Yeah, it's 3-1. Let one slip. Is this playoffs? Playoffs, yeah. Plus four. Hockey. Well, good luck to all

these actual good sports with fucking athletes that play them. Meanwhile, he watches fat guys stand on first base. People who think stretching is getting in shape for the season. Baseball's the lamest fucking sport that's ever been sported. And I can't believe you look down on people who like jump and hit and fight and stuff.

Fight? Have you ever seen an NBA fight? It's embarrassing. That's true, but I was thinking of hockey when I said that. Oh, okay. No, I'm open to the idea of hockey as a real sport. I just don't think basketball is. Basketball is more of a game. It's a silly thing. Yeah. It's baseball season, so we've got to lean in on this one. If something's not a sport, it's baseball.

They stand still most of the time. Okay. It could be a game too, just as long as we all agree basketball is just lame. It's just so silly. They're both too silly. At least in baseball, no one outgrew the bats and balls. In basketball, you have

some of the finest athletes on the earth. And some people who couldn't play any other sport at all. Like these seven foot six guys. How do they get like that?

That's the thing with basketball players. You can't pull me away from. If there was a guy on the Blues called Ivan Taitanov I think it's like that thing with like basketball players that like, you can't pull me away from like, if there was a guy on the blues called Ivan Titan of, and he was 11 feet tall and he could hit the puck 200 miles an hour. Like I wouldn't like it's he's not outskilling anyone on the ice. It's like, well, they gave it to the Titan again. Of course he scored like a lot of these guys who are seven foot four. If you make them six foot eight they are

working at a bank somewhere like they're they're not even like you make them six six not even sniffing not even close it's not five no i'm talking about the actual tall guys that's like seven footers are in the league but yeah that's a good estimate maybe one guy a team maybe less significant like that like one and there's a good estimate maybe one guy a team maybe less significant like that like one and there's only what like 10 people on the team how many teams are there hundreds right like 10 of the nba is like what seven feet tall and so i hear you but i you kind of make it sound like that's everybody they're and they have a specific role that they play right these seven footers mostly are you know

guys who just stand in the paint block shots and take shots like that's their role i get it stand there huh like their role is i see what you did not even allowed as a second violation they don't stand there and eat sunflower seeds now i i the only sport i like is when people beat each other up that just seems so much more real um that's a sport. I don't know. I like that a lot. I think Chael Sonnen's the one who's always going on about it being the oldest sport, right? Because before somebody came up with a bat and ball, there were two guys

roughing each other up somewhere and saying, ah, Ugg won, not Big Ugg. Little Ugg is now Big Ugg, and Big Ugg is now Little Ugg. They all had that talk thousands of years ago, way before they figured out bases and balls and bats and all that shit. I really enjoyed your

little checkmate move of sports arguing where the comeback is always no, your favorite is a game and the seamless, fine. They're both stupid games. Just taking the wind out of the sails. As long as everyone agrees hockey's a sport, it's fine.

See, I learned that from Total War. Sometimes you've got a troop up there, and he's just out of position. He's surrounded. They're literally raping him, and he's screaming for help. Now, we could run in there. We might even save him. Who knows? But the cost will be too high, so we just cut ties with him.

We just fall back. Set up our defenses and fire volleys onto our friend's body because that's where the enemies now are. That's what you do. And baseball is that friend that we just allow to die a slow death. Ballet takes better athletes than baseball does.

That thing they do to their toes is I don't like sports that what's the word I'm looking for? Like, disfigure you. That require you to be disfigured. When you look at a guy, you're like, oh, look at his hands. Gymnast's hands. And you're like, no, fucking cripple's hands.

That old man can't fucking wipe his ass properly. He's cutting himself from those calluses. Some of those people develop, like, these weird, disgusting, feet is the big one, because feet aren't meant to go in shoes they're not meant to do the crazy hyper things that modern athletes do with them feet take abuse so you look at i think lebron's got them crippled ass feet that look disgusting i know um um who's the oh those ballet dancers whenever i see their feet where they you know sort of like roll their big toe and and their second big one into this little ball that they sort of bounce around on and now it's become this deformed, disgusting thing. They're beautiful, incredibly fit, like long live women with these truck stop stompers.

That's where I was heading. I was waiting for a chance to talk. It's the juxtaposition between what are really some of the best looking most fit women on the planet like ballet dancers are mega hot from the ankle up but oh goodness their feet if you're a foot guy they're not for you i watched uh i finally watched that movie uh the menu uh a couple nights ago it's got your girl from um checkmate scheme or whatever the the girls can play chess 2 movie um and she's the main act she's sort of the star and uh ralph fiends yeah i thought she was very good she had to carry big portions of the movie on her back with her reactions and uh with

she was the star and she carried the movie really well. It's a good movie. I don't want to spoil too much, but basically... I saw it. I thought it was all right. Yeah, yeah. Multiple couples get invited to this island. No, no, not invited.

They're paying to go to a celebrity chef's fancy serving. It's like a seven-course dinner on this exclusive island owned by a billionaire. The billionaire is like the patron saint of this celebrity chef he's like here is the island where you will cook here is everything will be grown here for he's like giving him a paradise to cook in and ralph fiends is one of those incredibly hyper obsessed um gordon ramsey type chefs and his sous chefs and assistant chefs are like marines when he like claps they're all they all

like stomp and come to attention and uh it slowly goes from silly to awkward to a little scary to to pretty wild uh it's it's a good movie it's a good movie i like it a lot like i put the spoiler uh put the spoiler thing up zach uh one thing that they did that I thought like that I get a kick out of during movies that are like meant to be because, you know, like Kyle's right. It goes from like off putting and what a weird situation to scary. And part of the way that happens is the fucking chef who is very obviously unhinged from the first time he's on screen let me say there's no slow build it's like jibbering to himself in the fucking kitchen and he comes out and there's this like diplomat couple and the dude is like i want this again or some like some request about his dish that was special you know i want this on it or I don't want this. And Ralph Fiennes, I guess, is what

you said his name was, the chef. He is very upset by this. Wait, are you talking about when the gentleman tries to leave? Because the evening has gotten a little bit too wild for him? And he's like, come on, honey, we're getting out of here. And they subdue him? Yes, they subdue this gentleman

and they, like, cut one of his fingers off. And like he's very obviously bleeding and like screaming. And his wife is like as these like sous chefs like cut this guy's finger off for trying to leave. He was being impolite. It's that like any any reasonable person sees that and is already running. But they do that horror movie thing for like 10 minutes as like these pompous like other douchebags at other tables are like i knew he was known for a show but my god oh it's like oh i love that fuck i like get the hell no i hated that no that's what would

happen though screaming and bleeding that's what would happen though you know how that shit goes like we just had a guy this happened and just the other day in san francisco the guy that uh invented fucking cash app stabbed ruthlessly on the streets running up to people bleeding out please help they drove away no one called 9-1-1 he did everyone saw this guy bleeding he bled to death in the streets because he had to call 9-1-1 for himself and escape his own attacker because no one would help him i'm telling you especially in a room like that where Gordon Ramsay, let's say it's Gordon Ramsay instead, and it's that group, right? Three super wealthy titans of industry type, like traitors of some kind, and then this political couple, a celebrity couple,

like an actor and his assistant. Somebody gets their fingers cut off. None of these people are heroes. Everybody's like, oh, what's going on? Either they think it's silly or they're not moving. And there's even a point where Ralph Fiennes is like, you have to ask yourself, why did none of you try to fight back or escape? To be honest, I think if you had, you might have won. Because it's like, there are a lot of assistant chefs and they do have lots of knives.

But there's like a dozen people here. None of them were going to try and help. I was meaning more like these are all like billionaire narcissists, and they are going to self-preserve, like sprint away. It was weird to see because they all knew that Joe Blow, the investment banker who just had his finger cut off, they know he's not part of it. Well, they tried to escape. They couldn't. The glass is

bulletproof. They hit it with the chair and everything. It's a real fun... You didn't give it the old college try until it was way too hot. It was like, we are going to kill you and eat you. Then they're like, it's starting to get dicey around here, guys. We might need to get out

of here. I really liked it i there was a there were a little heavy-handed with the one percenter stuff there's a part that part where oh yeah where where he's like the girl's like can i can i live you know he's like where'd you go to school she goes brown he goes you have student loans she's like no she's like you're staying written by someone with no student loans like you're exactly there you go yeah written by brown ivy league i can't remember i would imagine so i think of it as such it is taylor it's considered ivy league yeah because i remember uh uh brian from family guy is talking to Lord Underbottom, and they're like,

where did you guys go? And he's like, Brown. And they're like, it's like, I guess, the joke of the Ivy League. Brown and Cornell are maybe the only two I have struggled naming. Cornell is forever because that's Andy's school. And he goes on The Office. He's a big bear.

I know their mascot. I know their whole thing. on the office. He's a big bear. I know their mascot. I know their whole thing. Big red bear. That's a big red bear. Dwight's wearing his mascot shit and pretending like he went there. Growing up, I was like, is Cornell or Bucknell the big one? I don't know what Bucknell is. Good school.

It's like Northeast. I like that Harvard has one of the best hockey teams in the country almost every year. It's like a bunch of guys who shouldn't be in Harvard. Is it though?

It's like, god damn, there's a lot of people from Ontario and Harvard again. A lot of people from Toronto. What school was it where they threw that dude's wheelchair or girl's wheelchair down the stairs? Oh, they made such a big deal out of that. Like she had to crawl home or something. I thought there was someone in it when I heard it. I'm like, they pushed someone in a wheelchair down the stairs?

And then I saw it. They made it. Oh, so someone did something shitty? First of all, it was one of them fake cripples that didn't even need the chair. And second of all, they wouldn't have pushed the chair if she'd been hot. And second of all,

they didn't destroy the chair. And third of all, it's funny. It's funny. I don't care about that cripple's chair. Oh, her chair went down the stairs. This is a bold stance. I'm against. Oh, her chair went down the stairs. This is a bold stance. I'm against pushing people's wheelchairs down the stairs. Why?

Okay, I'm against it, too. What I'm saying is they're like, let's form a committee and hunt him down. Get a posse together. The problem was his daddy has money. That's why everybody's mad. Can you believe it? Someone whose father worked hard threw a chair down. No.

Not one of those people. If an underprivileged fucking Pacific Islander had pushed that chair down, they'd have went well in his culture, you know. Cripples are. No, there'd have been a fucking explanation. Nobody would have cared. We wouldn't have went to surveillance camera footage. They acted like that bitch crawled home on her own broken glass.

I'm sure she went, Oh, tee hee, my chair's wheels a little bent. Will one of you dozens of people drive me home? Well, you live 30 feet away. That's right. I'm a fucking student here. I so agree. Really? Don't agree. I don't know.

I don't know what the right punishment was. Being expelled from school seems too high. Yeah, that's absurd. He is an entitled asshole that could use a life lesson. How do you know? I don't know him. Because he bullied someone in a wheelchair.

She wasn't there. How's that bullying? He threw her wheelchair down the stairs. Then you know it was hers. He knew that it was someone who needed a wheelchair. Not necessarily. It wasn't attended. Actually, if you think about it, Woody, an unattended wheelchair is if anything, evidence of a person who

does not need a wheelchair. True. The wheelchair didn't fit to the toilet. So what'd she do? She hopped up, sauntered on in there, and squatted. Okay? And you know what she can do when she comes out? She can fucking, hey, can somebody bring my chair up the stairs? No, I think we should form an investigation and a posse.

We should get CNN on this. You're right. You're right. Let's call CNN real quick. Hey, has anyone called Reddit? It is in no way okay to throw people's wheelchairs down the stairs. Didn't say it was okay. I just said it's a wild overreaction. Like, we've all done things that are borderline as mean as that. He insinuated that it was fine.

I think it's fine. I'm glad he did it. I hope she is really crippled. I hope that she falls down those stairs trying to recover her chair and gets actually crippled. What was the right punishment for that? The actual punishment?

Pays for the chair. Yeah, he has to pay for the wheel to get fixed or whatever. I mean, like, the reason that this was... No, because you don't get to just break my shit, fix it, and call it even. That's exactly what you get to do. That's how our society works. No, it's not. Ever had a car accident with somebody?

You get to beat them up after? No. It's random. If you, for example, destroy my car, you're going to jail and you're paying. There's fines and punishment. You are. You see that all the time. I think it's rare that just for...

I mean, you've seen CNN. If they were locking all those folks up, they were running around banging into cars. Well, the jails will be overfilling with black people. And that's clearly not the case. You can't destroy people's property. I don't know how damaged the wheelchair was. But hypothetically, you can't destroy people's property and be like, eh, I'll repair it.

Everything's fine. No, there are punishments to be made on top of that. Misdemeanor punishments. Yeah, things like he should spend four weekends cleaning police cars or walking around campus with one of those fucking sticks where you pick up litter. Why does a cop get a clean car because he picked on a crippled girl? Yeah.

That is the kind of – Listen, I speak from experience. These are punishments that get doled out to young. They will do this. They might even make her work in daycare, hypothetically. I think my cousin went around one night and did a ton of damage it's not like the the the absolute the fact that this was a national news story is solely because he is a white kid where that comes from money like if it were like it would not have been a news story if it was some nobody. That's what brings the entertainment factor to it.

This guy who was, I guess, a hockey star, who was the child of a hockey star, who's been the man his whole life, sees a wheelchair and he's like, fuck people in wheelchairs and throws it down the stairs. And it's like, maybe there was a bee on the chair. He was laughing at assholes. that's a huge amount of exposition you just added saying he's doing

it vindictively because he hates people in wheelchairs more likely is he's a young rich shithead who said I'm going to make my friend laugh and that's what he did I don't think this person thought out to damage a crippled girl I think he didn't care for the person in the chair

in the slightest that that person's feelings and concerns and problems were not on his mind at all yeah he seems like a shitty guy but this national like he should be expelled and this and that it's like everyone knows exactly why right what he did happens every night a thousand times the misdemeanor also worked on the campus cafeteria like slinging fries it would be a different story i agree but in terms of appropriate punishment i think we're all kind of on the same page you probably should whatever had 40 hours of community service and paid for the chair damage yeah yeah i think um you know as far as i think it's like a super tiny misdemeanor to like damage something and

the damages are under a certain dollar amount. That's often, I know with theft, they, they, before they escalated dollar amounts, you know, over a thousand, over 10,000 and things like that. I would, this just seems like, I know my cousin did this awful thing when he was a teenager where he just, they just went on a rampage running, you know, walking through town. Like, oh, there's a thing we can break. Oh, pop the tires's a thing let's here's a car but they run up on the hood stand on top top of the car and jump and land on their ass ruins the car ruins the car well you know damages the car right like if you think about it like okay, okay, it would still drive, but you wouldn't want to drive it. You didn't repair the hood or repair it?

No, not the hood. The top of the car. He did a power bomb, like, ass slam in the middle of the roof of the car and it cratered in. I don't know how to. I just bang it back and it gets mostly right. Or cut it out and make a convertible. It was just all this tremendous damage and i remember them being like what'd they catch him for and what was his

punishment community service like this little community service there was no way they could make financial restitution like no way you know they're like teenagers with poor families um and just just just shitty behavior number four but But there's no criminal thing that comes along with that. I don't know what happened. They had a weight problem. God damn. The dude that was with him was a big, chunky motherfucker. So the dude that jumped was about 240, 250.

There was three of them running around. They popped the tires on a parked tractor trailer. Not the tractor part part but the trailer part that must be expensive yeah yeah i remember them talking about the expense of each tire and and then being like i didn't fucking know i thought tires was tires yeah tractor trailer tires i wonder about them what do they cost and how long do they go? If you told me they got 120,000 miles a tire, I'd believe you. I know they get mad. I've heard drivers talk about whether or not they're going to slam on the brakes

and put flat spots on those tires to save a life before. They're like, well, it just depends on why I'm having to slam on them. I think they're thinking, if you're being a piece of shit and now I have to ruin all my tires fuck you but like if a school bus is careening they're like ruin them all i bet they're expensive i know i've seen oh have you seen where car will be driving alongside a tractor trailer more kind of back a little bit where the tires are really stacked up you know four of them in a bunch and one of them pops and just hits the it's such a violent thing it's like a bomb going off it's great dude when i

pass a tractor trailer on my motorcycle that is foremost on my mind you know it is like you don't linger here this is a dangerous place to be yeah i've seen um retreads hit people in the helmet actually nothing happened like i i saw a guy got hit in the helmet with a retread, and his visor came off, but he had a full-faced helmet on. He didn't even fall, but you could tell without that visor, he'd have been smashed. Yeah, we're talking about tractor trailer tires exploding. That's scary.

We've all seen that clip of the guy in India getting what's coming when he stabs that tire and it explodes and kills him. I like the one where the guy just gets his clothes blown off. That's a lot more silly and less... It was more viscera. What is the PSI on a trailer tire?

Like a semi tire? Is it 80? My guess would be it's irrelevant how much pressure they put in there it's more about what's its maximum like like what happened to make it get squished so much it explodes unless i guess it's defective or it's a retread like you said i remember like as a kid like grabbing just the thick treads on my grandpa's tractor tires and like even on a car tire like you could kind of like poke at it and see it just to form

a tiny little like at least you can see it on a tractor tire it's like I couldn't comprehend like how thick is the rubber 22 bounces off it I don't doubt that at all I never tried it but there's no way a 22 gets through a tractor if you shoot it straight like not in the a tractor tire. Yeah, if you shoot it straight, like not in the side, that would do it.

But if you shoot it like in the tread, like in the part that's normally making contact with the ground. Because we had one that was laying there, an old tractor tire, and I would shoot it all the time thinking like, it'll leak, and it just always stayed inflated. Like it didn't matter. They were bouncing off. It'd like roll over nails, and like my grandpa would just like pull a nail out of it and it's like oh it must just be a little nail it's like no it's like rolled over a six inch nail embedded straight and it's fine like well i mean for anybody wondering like this tire is four and a half feet tall five feet tall something like that it's it's a gigantic tire it's not a like a car tire i loved farm equipment as a kid i think that's a normal thing to like like a lot right if that's what you're around like trucks car tire i loved farm equipment as a kid i think that's a normal thing to like

like a lot right if that's what you're around like trucks farm equipment i thought tractors were cool the yes the irrigators in the middle of the fields i'm a city boy and my uh i guess step-grandfather had a riding lawnmower which i thought was amazing he would let me like sit on his lap and stuff as he like drove the riding lawnmower around. It wasn't pedo, I swear. He was a good guy. Four years ago. We know.

It was like four years ago. Anyway, I can share your... A real tractor would have blown my mind because a lawnmower, a riding lawnmower did too. I would go out to the garage and sit on it. I couldn't turn it on or anything, but they would let me visit it.

Oh, man. You came to my house. I had to ride the lawnmower from a very early age. I was cutting that grass. Did you hate it? Yeah, because of my allergies, and also it's just a really monotonous task. I don't think I had any way of listening to music while I did it either,

so I'm just driving to the sounds, and that's never fun. Yeah, we always had stuff like that. Obviously, I grew up right there on a farm with all sorts of crazy stuff going on, so I didn't really have any fascination with that. I remember one time we were visiting one of my dad's friends who's a real farmer. And he needed to move a bulldozer that was way down in the field and had ran out of gasoline or diesel, whatever, back to where it goes. And so we drove down there and he put me in the bulldozer. And I mean, this is a giant, I shouldn't say bulldozer.

It's like a grater. In the front? It's a, no, a big plow thing and like it's you're in a cab and it's a giant giant heavy piece of machinery because he's a real farmer and he sent me like he's like yeah just head back to the barn just and then like i'm driving to the barn figuring out how to stop and i i'm like well if i don't figure it out in time i'll start making circles but the fuck i couldn't have been more than 12 with this amount of inertia i don't think i can just risk it that'll yeah come to you no from from like 12 or 13 i was driving big tractors and um like operating the bucket with people in them. Like people would get in the bucket and then I would lift them up to do high

tasks. That was always a real like high pressure thing because the, the thing you pull down on a, on a actuator over here to lift the bucket up. And it's not like a video game where you have this sort of, Oh yeah, I can just add a little pressure. It sort of slips and goes.

So you have to be real careful when your dad's up there 20 feet they're like all right let's not have to explain this to mom tonight and you're like going real slow because you if you go this if you you go left and right for for tipping down if you if you go the wrong way you tip them out so mine's similar to kyle's except i pull it back for it to go up forward is down kind of like a plane and then side to side like he said brings the bucket up and down and if you ask me right now like woody which way makes the bucket go up left yes but like because it's like pulling think of it that way it's wait how's that why is left how is that so when you pull it to the left like this you're thinking like this you gotta think like this lamborghini that's the

problem it's like it's all right you know like uh let's say this coffee cup is the the actuator i'm gonna call it the handle grab it when you pull it this way it tips up so i think of that that's the same motion like this as like this. Whereas the opposite is to grab it. Yeah, I am grabbing it with my right hand. The camera is a bit confusing. I feel it's the same motion. Like the same way I learned supinate and what's the other one?

Pronate. You learned it well. Yes, sir. That one you told me, that mnemonic, and I never forgot it. The left is obviously up is not intuitive to me. Doing it enough, you just memorize it too, because somehow I knew it just then, and it's been a long, long fucking time.

Simple trip. Lurd. Left up, right down. One thing that was fun was feeding the cows hay growing up because the tractor has a fork on it, like two short stabby things and then one long stabby thing. For hay. You could kill a dinosaur with this thing.

I often thought, you had to take on a T-Rex. I'm going to kill that T-Rex if I've got this thing because I've got a John Deere in this big, it must be six feet long, the Spire. Maybe not. But four, five, six feet of just steel, this big, coming down to a point. It was always fun to grab the hay bale.

And I could do it in one solid movement without completely stopping. Just tap the clutch right as I got there and watch the forks just sink in and stop and then let go of the clutch as I keep moving, keep the momentum going and lift it up, curl it back. That's on the back of a tractor, but I had a front end loader with it on the front. I've done that, though, as well.

The scary thing about this is when you've got it on the back, it's really easy to tip your tractor back over itself, but it won't go all the way over. It's just scary. I've seen tractors on YouTube where they have them on the, I don't even know how many. They have like two on the front and two on the back or something like that. And then they all just go up. And it's pretty neat to see a tractor do that much work. When machines do work, that lights my fire.

Yeah, I think that's cool. I think they weigh about six or seven hundred pounds. A hay bale, dry. I couldn't argue. I don't know. I think I've about six or seven hundred pounds. A hay bale, dry. I couldn't argue. I don't know. I think I've been told that. But in the winter, you usually, if you raise cattle for beef, then there's not enough winter grass for them to survive.

So you have to supplement hay every day. We used to play, so like in one of my grandpa's pastures, like he would keep like all the next up bales. So like when he had to go grab something, he would go grab them from there. And then like they were all like put like close together so you could pick them up and so like right side by side like stacked up and so when we were like six seven years old it was probably like i don't know 20 yards by 80 yards of just hay bales all square, you know, touching each other. And so we would climb up there and we would play tag on the top of the hay bales

and like run. And because like you had to be careful or like you could slip and fall in between them. And like that was kind of scary because you're like, get me out! Because you could fall in there and it's not fun.

But it was awesome. I can smell it. I can smell it. I haven't thought about playing tag on top of those hay bales with my friends and brothers in fucking 25 years. That was so much fun. I would do that again right now.

It probably wouldn't be nearly as fun. I've seen them stack hay bales, the round ones, stack them on their flat end over and over, and there are these channels when you have four cylinders stacked together in the middle, and they'll just jump down in that and put their hands out and their feet out and like like it's a like it's a reverse fire pole and some of them are deep you know they'll stack them up 30 40 feet i don't know what they're doing at the bottom they gotta you gotta reel them out i guess yeah i don't want to do that part no that sounds like no fun yeah on the top

where it was at i feel like if i played some of the games that i played when i was like 11 like just playing war in the woods or whatever i'd be like how did i have that much cardio i'm exhausted that's true it's like i mean how did i play pretend to be an orc for nine hours when i was 10 years old that was fun we were mostly on atvs like um someone i saw some like discussion about the pandemic and 90s kids not being on the internet and stuff and it was like yeah like wasn't really in the house very much it was yeah wasn't every day after school i would do whatever homework i had as quickly as i had as i could and then just go out and ride on something i was hardly ever in the house my My parents, I don't think they liked me.

No, there were so many trumped-up rules when I was a kid where they're like, ah, Saturday at 5 a.m., it's the Taylor Outdoor Extravaganza. See you Monday. I had my grandparents for that. All right, I got to play pretend. I spent most weekends with my grandparents, so that gave my parents enough without me time to to still like me and appreciate me because i can be a little bit much i remember my grandmother's christmas trees always being

decorated um based on my height and reach because you can't decorate the bottom of the tree because kyle can get can grab that shit and he'll just grab and break it uh she all of her figurines are up high and like locked away and stuff i was pretty destructive uh uh for for several years there when i was a kid so they definitely need some time away not maliciously just just picking things up and dropping it no maliciously i remember i i specifically remember being four maybe five but having a fantasy about having all of our possessions duplicated. Like our home with everything in it. I had this fantasy, and maybe it was a Christmas wish or something. Maybe I saw a movie we could wish for anything, or maybe blank check, you know, you got infinite money sort of thing. money sort of thing and my idea was i want everything we have in duplicate and i want to go there and destroy it i want to smash the tvs in and break all the glass and i want to burn everything and i want to break it all like like that was literally a thought i had because it's yeah with no trouble you know no consequences yeah that that was that was a that was a thought

i had at four or five i i i still remember thinking that and thinking how cool it would be to break my Nintendo and break the fucking little tube TV that Nintendo was plugged up to and all that shit. I remember it. You mentioning like, I think blank check was the first time in my life that I realized like, oh, money seems to be very important in life

because like I didn't have fan. I just would have a fantasy about like, I wish I had my own whole hockey rink or I owned an elephant. And then like seeing blank check was like, like this guy, like I lived vicariously a little bit through him. And I remember even at that age, getting upset at some of his purchasing decisions where I was like,

dumb ass, why would you want to slide from your bedroom to the pool you're gonna have to go back in the house every time you want to use your slide retard put it by the pool like well you're gonna get wet and go up through your nice somehow under a million dollar house i remember thinking about that as a kid but did you did it inspire you to realize that money is very important in life i i definitely already knew that money was important by the time i watched blank check being a little bit older i think yeah um i don't remember exactly when i started thinking of money or or like getting more of it or wanting more of it really um because i was i wouldn't say spoiled but i didn't want much so when i did ask for

something i got it so um there was never really that thing where i was like oh can i have this and like no it didn't happen much because i didn't ask for much was there ever they never shut you down like i never got my spurs i want a cowboy spurs i wanted to walk ching ching ching would have been easy to do i don't know why i didn't get some fucking boots and spurs there's no reason you can't do that now yeah i did that eight years ago woody yeehaw and eight years ago that's like a good like you're a full-on adult knowing don't even have a horse you were like made it happen at 15 it was like no i made it happen at 29 well that's when i was no longer embarrassed to to go by the fans anywho they wouldn't give

me no goddamn spurs um i would and other than that though i wanted a corvette i wanted a cor i wanted a corvette and i got a truck and i did that thing that oh oh my god you were one of them unhappy with the car they gave you yeah Yeah. I was one of them. I'm admitting it, god damn it, alright? I'm remembering it now and I'm admitting it. Here's what happened. We had some preliminary discussions and what happened was a girl was like we were talking about cars and this girl

that I liked was like I'd suck your dick if you had a Corvette. I was like, gotta get one then. Like, literally happened. I didn't tell my dad that she was going suck my dick but you know i'm like 15 i'm on a mission to get my dick sucked so uh but i remember that i would have maybe not the pink one but but i wanted a corvette and uh he showed up to school to pick me up in a new truck. How nice was the truck?

Brand new. It was new? Oh, yeah. Brand new. Extended cab. Leather. CD player. Good gosh.

Okay. So nice. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty nice. But I didn't want it. I wanted a Corvette. Because what am I going to do with a truck? You know?

I want a fucking Corvette! What are you talking about, the truck? I want the Corvette! I didn't want the truck. You bastard! Oh yeah, so he took the truck back. Not to the dealership. From me.

He did nothing. Well me. You had nothing. Well, then I had to have a car, so we got me an even worse truck. Now I've had a Ford Lightning, which is like... That is a baller truck. It was a baller truck, but again, Woody, I wanted the Corvette.

And then briefly, I had this Jaguar XJ12, an older one. I don't even remember how that happened. I said I wanted the Corvette. And then, like, briefly, I had this Jaguar XJ12, an older one. I don't even remember how, like, that happened. I said I wanted it, but then after I drove it a little, I didn't. And then I had a Trans Am WS6 fucking performance package, 1998, black on black. Those cars were on that level. Hope got a Volvo XC90, I think, which is basically... Safe as fuck. Safe as fuck, which is is good because she got in at least two accidents and uh she's learning to drive it's all good

they weren't her fault rear-ended shit like that uh well some were her fault that car became unreliable the air conditioning wasn't cold stuff like that we got her and she might have a nissan center now i don't know what she has, but it's some reliable Japanese econobox type thing. The new Sentras look kind of nice. I remember... I don't mean kind of nice. You don't think it does?

Hers does not look nice like you're thinking. It's missing a hubcap or two and it's not new. Goddamn, Woody. Hubcaps? Who? It's her. She's a grown up now. Goddamn, Woody. Hubcaps? Who? It's her. She's a grown-up now. I don't know her hubcaps. These are all life lessons. You just see this one-capped

monstrosity bumbling into your beautiful driveway. Damn, man. Hope, park around the back. I can't have the neighbors seeing your shitbox. I had a hubcap when I bought it i know so i know a girl who has a new centra and it looks nice i dated that girl in high school and i remember she got

her first car she's like yeah my parents are going to buy my car and i'm like what are you gonna get she's like maybe a honda or a or a nissan or this that and the other i was like oh cool cool and i'm picturing like h Civic at the time, which was a real popular girl's car. Probably still is. And she showed up with this gold Nissan Sentra that was a few years old. And I don't think I could properly hide how much I hated

her car. How lame I thought her car was. I was just like, oh, I don't even want to be seen with you in that car. Damn. Damn. Damn. Would you ever actually give a fuck what a girl drives? If I'm in it.

If you're in it? Wow, you would? Not me. What I said was the truth. Every bit of what I just said was... At the time, my reaction was, damn. What about current, Kyle?

Does it matter what she drives? If I'm going to be in it. Like as far as being comfortable? No, as far as being seen in it. As far as being a person who rides around in a shitbox or not. Oh, I don't mind being that person. I'm that guy. Yeah, I grimace.

You might also be in areas where people wouldn't stop and laugh at such a thing. But I'm not quite sometimes. Like my neighbors have nice cars. You vastly overestimate how many people i know everyone but you two is a stranger no one's gonna like care about me hey it's that guy i don't know driving around i don't know i wish I knew his name. I also just don't want to ride around. When I say a shitty car,

I mean something that smells and has cloth seats. I'm kidding about cloth seats. Like an old junky, junky car with problems. Cloth seats are more comfortable in hot weather. Aren't they a superior seat material? I think they are. I think it's a comfortable and they're better right aren't they a superior seat material no i think they are i think it's a i think it's a fool's gambit going for the leather i'm totally

that fool i i have leather in my truck and it needs to have air-conditioned seats to overcome like the super hotness that's just natural in a leather seat you just you just you're selling leather so hard right now you're like hey guess what all the downsides of leather have been solved by modern technology since 2004 by the way since 2004 that's when that i remember well at least that was the first one i saw the 2005 um f-150s had the ac'd seats that was the first time i'd seen that feature and it was hot as fuck that summer and i i got into a king ranch to move it from outside to inside and i was like oh it's blowing air on my ass amazing on my butt i find it's nice but not great where it's

great is my back and i try to explain to people like oh just take your back half inch off the seat and it'll like blow it'll dry any sweat you might have or any glisten. And it really works. Arch your back, make it nice. And every single person ever like sits 12 inches from the back and they're like, I can't feel it. That's because you're fucking stupid. How did you get in this car? How did you operate the fucking doorknob on the outside of it? If you can't like, this is not fast blowing here you gotta be really

close to it i'm baffled by this i give up i'm not showing you the massage seats now sometimes we'll be in the in the um we're about to do the 50 patron hangout by the way but we'll be in there with those guys and somebody will say something so fucking stupid i'll ask them like dude who did you steal the 50 that you used to get in here because i know you don't have a goddamn like way of making any any money what the fuck are you there are some retarded people in there um i think there's some wonderful people too it's a good mix i like most of them but it only takes one and two is a lot and yeah and then you know like they need server mutes and shit oh it's it's really funny my favorite part of the hangout that we're about to do is going to be when someone talks over

you too much and you get them and it i should handle it better because the right way to handle would probably be like so a subtle thing like wait i was still i was still talking or i'm almost finished my thought instead what i let them do is walk all over me for like three or four minutes and then stand up and and by that point it's like hey hey hey you shut your fucking mouth for the last five minutes there have been 25 of us in this room you've been taking all the air time it is outrageous all of us want you to shut the fuck up i'm here for a server mute i can enforce that like that whereas if i just nipped it in the bud if i just a little social cue would have been better but i usually just that guy i usually stop talking make it like real quiet so

the the the air gets completely filled by them and they're just like wait why am why am i the only one talking now it's like because that's what you wanted right come on get it all out of your system come on you can't you can't help talking over to us come on let's get it all out get it all out then we're gonna start taking turns i'll try and like i try to shut that down sometimes before it happens where i will interject and interrupt the person who is just talking and talking to ask an irrelevant question of someone who hasn't talked yet just to be like, come on, Stevie, please. And then the polite

guy that you just asked a question to him like, hey, are you still playing that game? And he's like, yeah, it's been a ton of fun. Thanks for asking. You do that sometimes. If we don't involve the guest enough, I'll see Taylor be like, hey, you know, I want James's opinion on this thing. And I'm ah good job taylor good lie taylor good lie

it might be but it's still a good professional podcaster yeah yeah for sure always appreciate it and we're gonna i can save someone that vicious beating in the hangout, you know, covertly, I'll try and do that. But sometimes you'll be like, hey, hold on a sec, John. Steven, what were you saying earlier about working in a tank? And then, like, John keeps talking. It's like, oh, no. John's like, he was saying he works in a tank. You don't even know.

This guy has a tank. I just saw Woody's eyes. Corner of my eye. And what has started cannot be stopped. John has virtual red laser beams pointed at him. It's like, John, we all see what's happening here. Be quiet. You can see some of the veterans be like, oh.

Oh, this is going to be. Because all of them that have been in there to watch that, they all sit there like, oh, this is going to be funny. I'm aware that it's almost part of the show now for me to berate someone with no social skills. But mostly wonderful people. They're always funny.

Honestly, true. The best people. The best people, ask anyone. Every once in a while. What do you do for a living? It's like, I've been retired since I was 17 Bitcoin And it's like, oh Yeah, you really gotta kind of figure it out then

Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon got fired Yes Don Lemon got fired for He said or implied Or something about women being over the hill As far as their political careers go after 40. I'm going to go ahead and say it was

terrible ratings. They had already moved him to the morning show. To try and redeem. To me, the writing's been on the wall for some time now, like Kyle pointed out. He's been moved to the morning show, which is a serious demotion. They tried to sell it like it wasn't a demotion, but everyone in the world knows that it was. And moved to the morning show which is a serious demotion they tried to sell it like it

wasn't a demotion but everyone in the world knows that it was and then on the morning show he was still doing poorly he recently had this weird there's a republican presidential candidate his name might be vikram something he's like a real long shot and he was interviewing him and he just he did a terrible job and it was awkward for his co-host to like sit here. She's like scrolling on her phone because he's just debating and taking all the airtime. And she clearly had questions and such she wanted to ask to. He allowed none of that. He's just been bad at his job.

Like Kyle pointed out, I forget if it was Tulsi Gabbard or Nikki Haley, but one of them implied Joe Biden or said Joe Biden was too old to run. And then he countered by saying that that person was past her prime. And I think it was Nikki Haley. Anyway, but Nikki Haley is like 50 and she's still pretty hot for 50. And she's Asian. That's a good Biden burn. I'm counting Indian is Asian.

That works. And everyone else does. And then everyone made it like a female thing, asian that's a good biden burn i like that i'm counting indian as asian that works and everyone else does and then everyone made it like a female thing which to me one probably wasn't actually a female thing of being like over the hill past 25 like i've often pointed out but uh for a guy who like race baits all the time who's always like you know hey don can you be quiet? I need to talk. Oh, is it because I'm black? It's because I'm black, right? He's like, alright, fine. I like you getting a little taste of your own medicine. So you can white-splain.

That guy has had among the worst ratings on CNN for years. It's shocking that he's only now losing his show. It was years and years ago but i remember looking at like uh advertising metrics like for cnn and all their breakdown of network shows and it was like during like 2018 when like all the news was kind of going down a bit and like at one point cnn didn't have a single show with a million concurrent viewers which is humiliating and don lemons was literally like a mid-sized let's play channel like like that level like on tv like no one was watching

that dude it's unreal they just fired him i've been watching them like rebrand him here and there like like go back i'll make it up six years and he's just a white anderson cooper you know a professional whatever and it almost seemed like they lightened his skin and everything and then they're like no no we got to make this guy way blacker so then he starts getting like hood he's darker literally darker and like skin tone yeah and then he starts wearing hoodies under his suits. This is a Don Lemon look. He wears a hoodie under his blazer.

That's the new thing. He's somehow like a hood anchor thing going on. It just looked like they were grasping at straws trying to keep him... He starts doing CNN gang signs. He's throwing them up.

He's like, left side, left side! That's one. Don Lemon's out. I don't even know where he'll land or what he'll do next. Tucker Carlson, on the other hand, he was sort of on top of the world in some ways. A lot of advertisers avoided him.

But in terms of views, he was the biggest thing in news, or at least cable news. What a good metric, too. He's going to do something big now. I'm interested to see it. It's hard to see. I would have said that about Bill O'Reilly.

What is he, a podcaster now or something well bill o'reilly did bad things he uh he sexed up women it's also different phases in his career bill o'reilly was kind of at the end when he got axed anyway whereas how old is tucker like 50 was tucker fired for being a pedophile no that's a that's a hey i'm just asking questions these are questions that people need answers. And I'm not saying that he's a pedophile. I'm just asking the question. Is Tucker Carlson a pedophile?

People need to know that. What are we talking about? Tucker Carlson. Raping children. He's quoting a Reddit name. I'm doing what Tucker does. This, like... Yeah.

What does Tucker do? He just asks questions. He says, look, there's a lot of doubts out there about the election and people need these things answered before they can accept the results. I'm not saying there's anything unscrupulous about these election results. I'm just asking questions.

That's a thing that he did all the time to make statements in the form of questions and I thought I'd do it too. Yeah. Well, I don't really fucking care. Either of these people got fired. I knew you'd say that.

I cannot tell you the last time I saw either of his faces. You don't follow current events? You don't watch the news? Well, that's not current events, though. Talk about Carlson's not current events. Carlson is the biggest anchor in popularity doesn't mean anything I'm sure there are lots of tabloids with lots of

that are read everywhere with lots of circulation Tucker Carlson is tabloid news he's opinion journalism I'm not going to sit down and watch Tucker or Anderson Cooper and be like oh I need to figure out what's going on in the world how could you watch the one you hate why would you watch him oh i i try to watch right and

left viewpoints but that's not right left blue points that's propaganda to trick old white people that are crazy into things i need to know what well i'm interested in knowing what they're hearing yeah if you're interested it just seems like a waste of time if that's you're interested in like i just oh i would not want to if you want right this is 14 minutes a day i have so much more time to waste than that you know what's funny is i'm like this is gay waste of time and it's like i'm literally thinking in the back of my head now about tomb king army compositions for Warhammer. You're going to want some of those skeleton horsemen, but you got to bring the eyes of the desert if you're going to fend off the centaur play.

That's all I'm saying. I've changed my sleep schedule. Woody, I like to get up early and play Warhammer with the people in New Zealand. And then I have to get some sleep because later on in the afternoon, I'll have to play with North America. It's like, Kyle, I have a text in my inbox so early in the morning the other day, and you were like, just finished up some games with class, going to get some sleep.

And then later that night, you really are burning the candle at both ends with Warhammer. And you're getting better at it at at a good clip like i feel like everyone in our group is definitely getting better um i will say some gaps have begun to form in the skill difference are we talking about fish oh well fish is what we call a stats and stories gamer, as we said before. You know, he's there for the camaraderie and the friendship, and he'll tell you that straight to your face. But, you know, he's not great at, like, doing things in games.

He's not very good at them. So whenever it's sort of for fun, I'm happy to play with Fish. But I've told him many times, whenever we start getting into these competitive games like Tarkov, it's hard to play with him sometimes, and I don't like to hurt people's feelings. But it's just the truth. I don't want to jump on there with the boys and have a night of me not having any fun so that they can all have fun.

I like to find a way that we can all have fun together. That's usually what I try to do. But yeah, Fish is not going to be a Warhammer star. And that's okay. And that's okay. And that's okay. I got on with class this morning and played against people of the world

with matchmaking or whatever. That went real well. I think we lost one. We lost one and we won all the others. I think you and I usually go five and six or something when we play together. Like five and one usually. That's what I meant to say. Five and one.

We don't lose very much. When we're on the same team, we pretty much never lose. When we do, Yeah. Oh, that's what I meant to say. Like five and one. We don't lose very much. We're on the same team. We pretty much never lose. And when we do, I think it's because we try something goofy and it's like after six wins in a row, we kind of are being lax. Is this against people from the Patreon or against people at large?

It's against any and all who have dared to face up against the gruesome twosome. I was asking if you're playing against the patrons. They're also brand new at the game. No, it's like we're so the match, like the ranked matchmaking queue is dog shit.

And so you just have to make like a lobby that says like two V two domination. Kyle, that makes a lobby called two V two domination fun. So people know fun is on the inside and then we just wait for two people to join and it's super quick because everyone knows the real matchmaking sucks so like people use this like matchmaking and so two people jump in we play against them if someone wants to stay they can hang out we can wait for a third guy or they can both back out it's quick like we can if anybody wants to play and you're not in the patron just you'll see our lobby open all night yeah my lobby will often be over if you dare because we're

gonna fuck you unless you're better than us yeah they will they will be real salty about our loss and then we're above it all we don't even know that one doesn't count yeah then they don't care oh that was a silly army I didn't mean a thing. Yeah. No, it's real fun to play that game. I just like beating people at anything. There needs to be some sort of competitive part to it for me to enjoy. And I also like the homework.

I like the busy work of it and the homework. I like needing to go back later on and think a and like think about what i did and and write write stuff down and do research i like the research i think that's my favorite part is delving deep on the internet looking for synergies and and things that people have said about about the game and trying to get better that way just because at some point i can only click so fast i get to that point pretty quick in games where it's like, I'm never going to click any faster than this. But you can always learn more and have more information. There's also like with this game,

it seems like 95% of players only do the campaign, like the grand strategy part of it. They don't focus on the multiplayer at all. And so in the multiplayer, like you can, like a game like Age of Empires, if I want to look up a build order for a specific civ it's there there's a bunch of forums talking about it with this game because multiplayer is so ignored you can search like what's a good army composition warhammer 3 lizard men or and there's literally there's nothing there there's not one reddit thread about any factions army composition in the year of our lord 2023 a game that came out a year ago has not

one thread not one i was searching the reddits looking for like multiplayer answers and every single thread you find is like anybody have help help for this Lizardmen issue or this Tomb King problem? And then you click and it's all them talking about the campaign. And they're like, you need to get to a doom stack faster of really powerful. Yeah, it's hard to find relevant information. And so to add on to that, like with me and you. So Kyle and I actually are able to, in a novel way, combine factions and try and figure out new strategies that aren't actually popular.

It's not like there's a meta for everything. There are combos and things that people aren't doing that would be wildly effective if people started doing it because there's such a lack of attention on it. I think there's a meta. We're just not playing with those people. I think if we jumped into one of these other discords with one of those clans,

I think we'd find that they had a very good idea of how vampires play against tomb kings or how empire plays against ogres. They know it's a set thing. Well, the ogres will bring this because they have to contend with that. And the greenskins will bring this because they have to do that.

I think it's a real set thing sent you an Empire army composition over there boom This is a chat GPT army comp and no it's from Rock shots net Reviewing kinds of combat stats and That's stupid yeah no that's you don't like it i i didn't finish reading it it just it's silly a legendary lord a warrior priest four steam tanks four hand gummers and gunners six great sword infantry and four demographic knights halberds oh yeah so a bunch of all the good stuff huh why don't i think of that i'm here to help i

don't know what i mean you're slow i'm getting it first try it's almost like that's it's almost like that's the currency for four armies combined into one you know like what are the tips to being good at tarkov have every gun and item i didn't think i'm gonna prove it but i think i've established that i could beat you guys at this game. Yeah. We would love to play. Well, how to be good at call of duty. It's like, you need to shoot your opponents prior to them engaging you.

It's like, Oh, you're not, that is integral. You can't have this army. You can't just choose it. It's too many expensive units. Like they say for demigriff nights for steam tanks,

like that would almost fill up a whole army by itself. It does. The steam, the steam tanks are 21 or 2200 each. a whole army by itself. It does. The steam tanks are 2,200 each, and the demigraves are 1,850 each if you want the... And we could teach you all of this if you just jump in

to the Total War world. Who would Woody's race be? You know, the dwarves have those gyrocopters. That actually... I think you may have gyrocopters. That actually... I think you may have just said your answer. That is the most paramotory thing. The dwarves have a unit that's just a helicopter,

a gyrocopter that goes around and shoots bombs at things, shoots bullets at them. I think Woody can have fun with those. They've got a gyro bomber, and there's multiple dwarves up in there flying it, and it looks like one of those helicopters with the double rotors that's long. But like but it's just and yeah i was gonna say that but i wasn't sure and you just fly it over them dropping bombs and just it's fun doing

bombing runs because everybody else has swords it's such it's such a satisfying i was i was trying to get my younger brother to play it more with me but he's been into other games and he came over this past weekend for a bit. And I'm like, hold on, just like play a game of Total War on my setup and like just just run it. And so like I set up he set up his army and then I put like an army of like bullshit bleak swords and stuff on the other side so we could actually engage with it. And he was just having fun being like, this is the coolest looking and sounding game ever because it has like variable audio so like if you're way above and like some plague flies or something like buzzes by you it sounds like world war one like fucking like and then you zoom in closer to the battle and you can

hear like and like bombs blast and like people are like individual voices screaming for help. Like it's, it's tremendous. Anyway, I know we have to wrap. We've got the hangout total of Warhammer three jump in our lobby out there guys.

Check it out. PKN 453.