Painkiller Already - PKN #48

Episode Date: July 24, 2015

This week's PKN, Kyle & Woody recount the event's of last week's paintball adventure and Woody's head wound. 

and we're live painkiller nearly episode 48 and uh this is me this is what i look like hey patreons you see what no one else does what he was getting a little uppity in chicago so i had to hit him so i had to hit him in the head with a fucking ball peened hammer that wasn't the story we were telling everyone kyle so we had our big paintball event this weekend the much much talked about it's the it had our big paintball event this weekend, much talked about. It was the second paintball event that we've done at Paintball Explosion Park in Chicago. And the first day was all us and fans had an awesome time. Close to 100 of you showed up, I think.

Something like that. It was well over 100 for the weekend. I think it was. It was hard to keep a good count because I feel like some people were there early and some people were there late. So the numbers stayed around 100, but I felt like there were more than 100 people participating in total. And on the scenario day, they were taking our people and putting them on the other team, which might sound like they got screwed. And I guess depending on how you measure it, maybe they did. But the other team was by far the better team.

That was the good one to be on. Yeah, yeah. The teams were unfairly matched for like 90% of the day. And anyway, at one point, and I have this on film, we were in a house inside of a structure, and there was a lot of our teammates in one room, and there were just a few of our teammates in the far room and I was one of them and Woody wanted to

come join me. But there's lots of bad guys outside this building. I did come join you. You did? Yes. I was getting to that. I'm sorry. I feel like you're not telling the story right. Well, if you don't join me, then there's no way for you to get shot. So we're getting to that. People don't know that.

That's not true. You could get shot in the other room hey hang on i'm gonna tell it differently so i was all alone in this room it was just me and my and my die paintball guy that's all there was and i was fighting them off left and right but they were they just kept coming more and more more and more and i was hosing them down and no one would come. No one. And then I saw Woody just sprint into the room. He comes in, bangs into the wall. He's in the corner too. Now there's two of us against the world.

Can I interrupt? Yeah. He's only a little off for the truth. There was a safe room that I was in and there were like 25 people there. And then there was a room that was much more dangerous. And there were like two people there. And there was a room that was much more dangerous and there were like two people there yep and one of them was kyle and uh earlier kyle was like waving for people to join and no one joined no one joined not even me and i'm his friend you know it's like it's fucking

just get it to the room that i'm in you have to run through a hail of paintballs yeah yeah and uh but i can only be a sissy for so long so i go out there to join him but the thing is where he is there isn't much cover and uh someone had like someone who was in the room scoped out a spot for me to be and uh so i ran out and i took that spot do you want to continue from there you want me to keep going so the spot that woody was in just wasn't any good anymore and so he was going to reposition or do something so he was running back

to the other room. The problem was there was a wall near the doorway he was heading toward that concealed one of our teammates. And that teammate

was shooting actually over my head and through a window that was above me at an enemy that I couldn't see. And just as Woody passes this wall

that was concealing the guy the guy shoots him point blank in the fucking head and I've got it on film you can see Woody running the blast he gets shot and then Woody continues on into the room and then the guy leaves maybe five six seconds later to go check on Woody and I was kind of in the heat of the moment I didn't think it looked that bad and I certainly didn't think it had done that I figured you were in the mask or the moment. I didn't think it looked that bad. And I certainly didn't think it had done that. I figured it was in the mask or something. But whenever I caught up with Woody, maybe 40 minutes later, because I really stayed in there a long time with my medic buddy,

I could see the damage. And it looks so much better now than it did at the park. By far the worst. So I got shot in the head. And my ears rang for a little bit. And everyone's like oh head injury lol and i'm doing the same thing right because all paintball wounds are skin deep provided that your eyes are protected and they were you can see this is just right above my mask it was almost

the perfectly wrong spot to be shot provided that your eyes are protected you're fine your whole body can get hit by paintballs and you're you're going to get hurt. And except for Kyle's nut shot, perhaps from April. Anyway, so, but like the ears ringing thing did actually like, why did that happen? You know, it took me a little bit to sort of regain, you know, total understanding what was going on. I had a microfiber and there's a fair amount of blood coming out of my forehead. But the guy that shot me was like, you know, it was just your mask. It was just your mask, right? And I'm like, no, no, not just mask. And I pull it off and there's like blood trickling down. And I wiped it with the cloth once or twice. And he's like, all right,

you know how when paintballs hit you and they just kind of seep blood out of it, it weeps out? He said, that's what you got. You don't have a real cut, like a laceration on your head. You just have a bad version of that. And I was like, all right. And a lot of people were like, why did you beat up the guy? The guy was fine. He wasn't trying to hurt me.

He apologized profusely. He was sort of my eyes and ears ears you know like all right this is what i'm seeing on you this is where you are like he acted like i hoped i would have you know had i been in the spot where i shot my own teammate yeah and it's easy for that to happen the i mean it's you're passing through like like you often don't know where good guys are and bad guys are and you're just kind of going into rooms not knowing knowing they're going to spray you down or welcome you and uh yeah i should have it was a shit happens kind of moment yeah exactly i think he had just started shooting as i was just getting back into the room it was perfect timing you'll see i'll get the video i'll get especially that section

uploaded but if i really knew everything that happened i wouldn't have done it so i guess i'll see the video and get another perspective on it but um but yeah so i got shot in the head by my own teammate from really like one or two feet away like it was super close it's this like like i paused the video and you're like mid-step like your knee is bent like you're like and it's just like the the gun is like pointed right here and you just see a poof of the white poof of air. And then you just go, ah, and like continue on into the room. I caught it pretty good. That was my help cam.

That's cool. Yeah, and that's how I remember it. So, yeah, so I went back. And then afterwards, I just held my gun in the air. I went back. And the facility had three medics on staff, which is actually pretty legit. And they cleaned me up, gave me some, they asked me some head questions like, do you know what year it is?

Do you know where you are? Do you know what day of the week it is? And those questions are a little harder than you might guess for someone who works from home. Like, what day of the week is it? They're all the same to me. But I did know them all. But yeah, if you were to ask me what day of the week it was,'re all the same to me yeah but i did know them all uh but yeah if you would ask me what day of the week it was oftentimes i might not know so uh anyway i answered all the

questions just fine and everything was good and really i'd the swelling came in and um it was kind of like a golf ball on my forehead it was it very swollen. It was more swollen. This is a common injury that Woody got, but the severity of his is not common. It's oftentimes he gets shot in the top of the forehead, and I got a little one here that's nothing to even talk about. It's swollen there, and you can't even tell

now, but it was so swollen that I was just like, and I immediately felt bad. I was like, that I was just like a guy and I immediately felt bad I was like I could tell that like everybody's been doing that everybody's been going Kyle Kyle was a little more reserved than most you know but it was like you know but like wolf was the worst wolf was wolf is a great guy but he's so animated he was was like, holy fuck! What happened to you?

And I'm like, I'm real close to him. We're like inches apart. I'm like, the worst part is everybody's reaction. And it was, it's still true. Even now, like I didn't go anywhere today. I had a check to break to the bank. Honey, can you do this? Yeah, she did.

Tomorrow, meet the painters but yeah i especially now that i see that your eye has blackened okay for those who are who are just listening this you're really missing out patreon only costs uh to be seeing this i think it only costs like what it's five or ten i forget which one it is yeah it's very cheap to be able to see woody's black eye right now this is i can't believe it progressed down to there and blackened it at first it was up so high but but the knot goes from went from forehead to eyebrow um like hairline to eyebrow i want to say at first the knot was golf ball sized and um and it was it was really far out and then it started like spreading and like kyle said even by the end of the first night it was hairline to eyebrow and I've got it was a knot on a knot I've got kind of a five head here so

like hairline to eyebrow saying something and I wrote to Lozon because I know he he's in the business he deals with knots all the time anytime someone gets knocked on the head from an elbow or something he gets this and And I was like, how do I make this right? I still have the text message. He wrote me back and it was pretty much, you can squish it out, but you'll look like a raccoon. And there's not much to it, but yeah, it was, oh yeah, it was great. He said, you can squish it out, but you're going to look like a raccoon. And I thought, you know, like probably like probably not for me he says slowly push the blood out ice it if you need to numb it but you look like a raccoon and I thought nah you know I don't think I will because it's far enough from my eye

that it's not gonna make like this part black it did it did I'm it's really black in here and I think it's gonna work its way under here and just as the blood escapes from my forehead, it seems to be leaving via around my eyes. And I have a photo. I'm not sure how well this will show it. But if you look at like my furrowed brow, one side doesn't furrow like it's it's all there it's all hematoma yeah it's exactly right and um uh this is me on the airplane i thought i thought

i pulled it off okay and uh um i kept saying that we should tell people that i was like you're his abusive gay lover and that uh like at restaurants and stuff we never did it's uh it's a it's one of the worst i've ever seen um there was also that guy who got shot in the belly his was real bad but it was in the belly but you got one in the head man that was that was that's a legit paintball wound right there so i wrote to Joe, and I said, I feel like the straight-on angle doesn't show it off. I guess it's not that bad. Everyone that saw it was acting like it was the worst thing ever.

By far, the biggest problem isn't the slight wound. It's all the attention that gets me. And he goes, that's nothing. Let me show you a bad weekend. Here's Joe on a bad weekend. Oh, that's so true. That's so true. So, yeah. Anyway anyway i know this is kind of a visual show thank you patreons um but uh but yeah so i squished the blood out the forehead's hardly

swollen if i furrow my brow i feel like both sides are working i don't know i can't see me yeah they're working so this led us to having a conversation a few minutes before the show we were like so what else could we do besides paintball no i dude i like paintball i will say that um if you only played the scenario game i don't think you got the best like my favorite kind of paintball um if you only play the scenario game, then, you know, I really enjoy playing with and against the fans. And we're all in the same group. And we're all kind of like making friends.

And just by virtue of the fact that it's a PKA group, a lot of people fit the same demo, like the same jokes, have like a shared history. It's really cool. Whereas the scenario games are a great, massive undertaking with lots of organization and stuff. But my favorite type is with and against fans.

Yeah, and that's what we told everybody from the start. Saturday was the day when it was just our group kind of going around having fun. And then Sunday, we took part in the big scenario game. And like I said, the teams were not very well balanced. we were pushed back a lot that day uh and that wasn't as much fun but i'd say the the whole trip in general was a pretty big success i have footage that shows off that second day i felt perfectly like it i think i showed it to you where i'm like we threw some smoke out there but we're fucked it's not helping at all

like I basically um it's nice because I'm me there's a lot of people there who will like you know come with me if I want to lead a small group um a lot of people are there to see me and they'll join my group and we'll do our thing so we did that we had like I don't know 12 soldiers with us and you and I were going to push into, you know, at the end of someone, someone hurt their knee, I think. Yeah, they stopped the game. Yeah, they stopped the game for that. It was that photographer's nephew or something.

Yeah. So if someone gets, like, actually hurt, the real injuries in paintball aren't from the marker. Like, this is as bad as it could possibly get. The real injuries are from like sliding into things and just running in the woods the kind of injuries you might get running in the woods so uh anyway uh after they brought it back into motion we were going to do that and it just totally was ineffective we it's pretty hard for one guy even with the team of henchmen to make any impact on

the game but yeah yeah, good times. Another successful event. I felt like the people there had a really good time. I know that the owners were happy. We were happy. Everything went. Yeah, that was their biggest event ever. So good deal.

Yep, that was us. Totally. Yeah, I don't know. They were announcing, i shouldn't say anything that's that's i guess that's not very kind to say i won't i won't say what i was gonna say can you type it yeah yeah i'll type it i'm not sure whose feelings it's going to hurt i'm looking i can't wait to see what he writes backspace backspace backspace backspace

oh okay yeah it was just like and and blah blah blah and it's like yeah yeah big news yeah but that that would be that would mean mean and unessional to say. I won't say that. But I will say I think the event went very well. I think we were a big part of why the event went really well. And I had a lot of fun playing with the fans. I'm sorry. I got some good video. My cameras are always sometimes working,

sometimes not, so they fuck up a lot. But I think I got a few good games, a few good clips. I shot Mr. H at point-blank range and moved on and kind of led a little group to win a game once. So I got some cool stuff there. Do you want to talk about possible other trips? That's exactly what I was interrupting about.

So I really feel like this thing, like Adventures with the Hosts, is a cool concept. And we're trying to figure out, maybe if you watch watch this you can think of things we should do too like um the one i've got stuck in my head i don't even know if it's a good idea is go-karting like it has to be the type of thing that can facilitate a lot of people right like if if 150 people show up and we do like i don't know hot air ballooning there's gonna be 146 people stuck on the ground you know like so that's not a good idea um it has to be the sort of place that can like facilitate a good number of people um it's better if it's near a population center like i you know if we pull whatever it is, like 120 people at Chicago, maybe we pull 60 people in like

Raleigh, 80 to 100 in like in Atlanta, maybe 120 people in London, I don't know. But that kind of thing is... So it should be near a population center though because if we go to Wyoming I'm scared six people will show up or three or none you know like and it should be an event because it's

cool to hang out with us but if we were to hang out with us watching grass grow that's not awesome but whitewater rafting was one we talked about it's still summer right what if we we could like take over a whole day or something do a well what a rafting trip that was my idea yours is go-karting mine's whitewater rafting I okay I thought of that too no I said I thought of it last year.

Doesn't count. You thought of us going, though, not bringing the fans. That's different. I said it last year. Okay, maybe so. But anyway, yeah, so Kyle came up with whitewater rafting. But I don't know. If you guys come up with something, let me know about that, too.

Laser tag comes to mind. Airsoft comes to mind. Of course, there's more paintball, whitewater rafting, go-kart racing. It should be something that's cool enough that you want to do it. I did a little promo video for this thing, and in it, I was like, I don't know what you're doing this weekend,

but it's probably not as cool as coming to play paintball with me, and I'd like to continue to be able to say that you know so like think of a thing that's cool that we can do and uh you know and it has to make sense for for the hosts the fans and the sponsor of the whole thing so yeah it's gonna be gotta be kind of a money-making thing too because that's how the people who are putting the thing on justify bringing us there right that's that's what makes all the wheels turn as always you know you guys showing up and you know them being able to put the event on for us that's how it works so yeah i think that i think that both of those would

be cool um it'd just be a matter of finding a facility that would work and a location that would work you know because like you said can't do in wyoming um so a population center at least as big as chicago because we've seen several times that that works i think we could go a little small chicago is really big but i think we could do it in atlanta or philadelphia or you know the whole northeast like philadelphia new york and we could do an Airsoft event in Atlanta and it would be huge, I bet. There's a bunch of...

I don't know if you're interested in that. I would do it. I played Airsoft once and it hurt like a motherfucker but I was wearing a t-shirt and everybody else is wearing just full-on combat gear. I saw someone asking about that a while back because I guess people have seen the video

and a lot of people are dressed up in combat gear. There's two ways of looking at that. I wear what I wear for functionality and for pain control. But some people seem to look at paintball like an excuse for cosplay. And so there's a little bit of both going there. I try to avoid cosplay as much as possible i i think it's i think i just think it's kind of silly it's just not my thing if it's your thing though i'm totally fine with that totally fine as a matter of fact i so there's i'm gonna

i i'm not gonna put words in your mouth but there is a group there called the ghost squad they were very good players and um they really coordinated like not only were they talented paintball players but they had radios like right here by their shoulders where they talked to each other and they were constantly calling out enemy positions and things that they wanted to happen and um they were sneaky they were trained by another squad called the assassins and uh then they like broke off and became their own group. And the assassins play with pistols. So does most of the ghost squad. So it's really all about getting into position for easy kills and being tricky about it. And anyway, but they're so decked out and all their uniforms are matching.

I think it goes beyond just function. I think they look like a SWAT team. They do. Yeah, yeah. But a scary one because they have like giant skulls and stuff what they wear on their masks it's it's pretty cool yeah um i i prefer to like i like kind of the the bright colors and and silly stuff like like i i like that stuff i like you know there's my guns i only want to take it so far though like i like the

bright colors and the silly stuff too but i've considered wearing like a full-on jester's hat and uh i think they you should sell anything to cover this if i were to do that though they'd be picking on me from everywhere everyone would want to kill me in minecraft my character has a cape which is kind of rare and uh people see me from across the map and go straight for me because i'm me if i can't deal with that in paintball like i'll laugh off of death in minecraft but in paintball they hurt rather blend in i had a um i i think i want to i don't like that my guns camo i've been thinking about making my paintball gun gold i think i'm'm going to do that. I think I want the whole thing to be gold like some ridiculous Call of Duty gun.

I think that's my next step. I love my axe. I've got no problem with that thing. I could see a different mask. HK is going to hook me up with a padded headband so that part of me will be covered. I tried playing in a t-shirt for I think the first time and

I think I prefer the padded jerseys a little more like if i were to go back even in the heat i might have had a better day in the padded jersey than in um than in what i wore than a t-shirt but yeah i i said something you know when i saw your t-shirt a lot and then i would say it was maybe even the most i don't know it was the most common top but it certainly wasn't rare but you know just like this stuff like it yeah man it's like my whole like whole huge areas are just purple uh i looked it's just i counted in here those are my two worst did you count yours no 50 really 50 i got shot 50 times. That's kind of a round number, but it's right about, it's somewhere between 45 and 60, I would say.

Because, like, my head, as I, like, run my fingers through my hair in the shower, it's like bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. There were so many. And they hurt a little, right? All the little bumps, just minor pain. Like, when I shower, it's like, oh, yeah, it's just tender. I generally try to play like right at the front lines because I want to push in and I want to shoot somebody. And so that means I'm getting shot in the lot from teammates in the back of the head.

And they hurt so fucking much. I've got this like triple shot that goes from like one here one here one here in the ribs and i'm almost positive it was a teammate i it's just i tend to put myself in the most dangerous situations and it's not that i'm like craving action it's that i feel guilty for not like putting myself in a dangerous situation like if i'm in the back just camping and not playing right someone else is up front in the danger zone. I lead from the front, basically, I guess is what I'm saying. Yeah, there's lots of pussies back there that are just long balling,

and they're completely ineffective, and all it ever takes to just completely dominate a game is some balls. All you got to do is be like, fuck it. I'm going to move from this bunker to that bunker, and if I get shot along the way, that's just how it works. That's how you got to think of it like an old-school military engagement look at D-Day they didn't stop and hide they just kept pushing and like one-fifth of them died or whatever but yeah that's how it works

flanking is so effective a lot of the like basically it's pretty difficult to protect yourself from two sides so there's a ton of people firing from straight on, and if you can get to their side, easy kills. And a lot of times, like in April, I guess it was mostly Kyle, me, Joe, and then a bunch of people. Like we were the leaders. At the start of everything, like we're just rushing.

How far should we go? Sometimes we were rushing to buildings that were three quarters of the way down, you know, just to take that much map control. Yeah. And I'd get a kill or two or three a lot. And then I'd get shot out typically. Yeah.

A lot of people come to those things. They spend the money and they, you know, they come out and they don't have any fun because they're just hiding in the back. Just way out of range. Well, I'll let them decide what's fun. They might consider getting shot from up close really unfun. You're going to get shot no matter what. There was a few times when I'm like, I've been shot and I'm walking back.

And I'm talking to, there's a guy hiding in a building like this. And I'm like, hey man, how's it going? He's like, good. I was like, you having any fun? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, well, hey, if you want to go up there, that's where the bad guys are. You can see a few if you go over here. And if you go over here, you can see a few too. I was like, if you go over here you can see a few too i was like but right here that they

can't shoot you and i'm standing out in the open i'm like if there were anybody for you to shoot they'd have shot me by now i was like you should probably go up there what the fuck are you doing back here you paid all this money and everything you're out here in the hot sun like let's go up there and fuck some people up i did that this. This weekend I did the opposite of that. So if people haven't played paintball, here's the deal. When you're like 100 yards away, you're completely safe. And then when you're 75 yards away, you're pretty safe. And then you get to like 50, and it's really pretty dangerous at that point.

That's when it's time to have cover. And I underestimated when that transition happened. It's easy to do because there'll be people really far away using extreme cover. And like Kyle was saying, you can stand around and be like, you know what? You're actually being a scared little kitty here. You know, there's no trouble here. And I just like casually walked all the way up to the front lines and got my ass shot because there are the front lines were right there yeah when you get up to the front it's a it's a nightmare because that's where everybody is that's

where the fun is it's intimidating and it's cool like there's a certain it takes a little bit of bravery to play paintball because it hurts and uh you hear like you know as the paintball wraps against whatever you're using for cover and And everybody's got fully automatic guns, so it's like when you get shot, you don't just get one. You're probably going to get like three, and if there's a couple of them, you might get ten. And ten in rapid succession is kind of an overwhelming kind of pain. I've got video of me getting shot a good 10, 15 times.

Like, yeah. I hurt everywhere. I'm not ashamed to admit like everywhere like i i rub like even i just just i got shot up real real bad 50 times um and most of them were like all at once and i was wearing my hk army uh jersey they were very nice they hooked me up with a new one of those this year and it makes most of the paintballs bounce and bounces don't count so that meant i was getting shot a lot like i wasn't it was just like ah god damn that hurt and i can't even leave ah all right let's keep going ah that hurt even worse the same spot and it bounced too all right

let's keep going and it was like that all day oh and look at this like this is uh what is that a blister from a smoke grenade that went off in my hand it burnt me did you see i carefully read the instructions before i threw that it's it's not obvious but so the smoke grenade is a small cylinder um i don't know shorter than a cigar but maybe three times in diameter right small cylinder and uh you pull a pin out of it and smoke comes out of both ends which was a surprise to me and it was like don't point either of these ends towards anyone do anything whatever side of it i was surprised they seemed a little dangerous and like they could possibly be a fire hazard but uh they were legal yeah i uh i snatched up about four of those motherfuckers and we were trying

to push up a ravine. We'd been pinned down all day and I was through one and through the other. It burnt the fuck out of me. It hurt really bad at the time, but I just didn't know it had burnt me until that night and I had this weird blister. I should probably pop that, I guess. People were asking me, you know,

when are you going to bring Colin? Five years from now, give the kid a break he's 12 that shit hurts and he's tender-hearted like i don't there are some kids who are 12 who might be perfect for it like when hope was 12 she knew this boy and he would be good for it. He was fearless. But Colin's not that guy. You know what Colin's learning to do? A front flip. Oh, cool. Yeah.

The coach just thinks he's a couple weeks away. We'll see how that goes. But he's in these parkour courses, and he's learning front flips and stuff. Goddamn. I can't do that. I can't do anything acrobatic. But, yeah. I don't know. I'm totally jazzed the the pka adventure went really well and I'm looking forward to the next one so that should be cool yeah there were uh I met a lot of cool people uh Addison uh that was that little kid uh he was

Necro's uh nephew I think okay yeah yeah who was hanging around with me all day and he had a little buddy whose name I can't remember with the glasses and and those two guys, how old are they? Like they're like 10 or 12, right? They're little dudes. I'm gonna say they were 13. Okay, anyway, they're little, I'm not good at judging children's ages. But they were children, very tiny, but they hung out with me all day. I had a great time with those little kids. And everybody kept being like, if you want me to, you know, pull them back. I'm like, no, no no no it's my little buddy we're going on fucking adventures out there so i had a good time with those kids um i was all about eddie graham eddie graham he's the medic and uh eddie does not care if he's shot eddie will he's he's the world's greatest medic. Yeah. He's the guy.

He just ran the Boston Marathon, right? So he's athletic and fearless. And he's a good guy to have out there on your side. Yeah. Filthy Robot showed up on Saturday. Had a good time playing with him. Yep, yep. I think he took some pictures with fans and stuff.

I think he enjoyed that. So I got a little footage with Filthy. So I had a good time, great time. We just need to figure out somewhere else to go, I think, something else to do. And we should maybe try to put it near Taylor's ass so maybe he doesn't have an excuse not to show up. He's in Idaho.

He's moving, though. Do you know his new city? Not off the top of my head, no. I don't know it either. I don't know if he's... Yeah, I don't know. If he moves near a population center, then that might be a good idea.

I think that's the plan. I think he's moving to a population center. But yeah, we'll maybe get him to come on something. I like the idea of doing something where... All right, so as much as I love paintball, I really do. At the end of the day at paintball i'm really physically exhausted and i'm in pain and i you know it's it's been a real rough day it'd be nice if our adventure was like yeah we went and drove race cars then we went and ate

dinner like like if there wasn't a necessary shower and cool down if there wasn't like if there weren't medics at the event you know what I mean? There were medics at this thing, and they had shit to do because people get hurt. It'd be nice to do something. Somebody took their mask off. I saw it. I didn't. You told me about it. So I don't know exactly.

I think Chiz might have saw it too. Go on. Uh-uh. So he had left before it happened. So they blow the alarm or whatever. Everybody puts their guns down. Medic team runs out on the field. And I don't know exactly how it happened because I heard him describing it.

The victim, I guess you'd call him. The dumbass, really, because he took his mask off. You don't do that. You just don't. They yell it into your head constantly. It's the only rule that really matters. You don't take your mask off. And there are areas where you wear a mask and areas where you don't,

like by the concession stands and things like that. And there are people by every entrance and exit stationed there 100% of the time. Not most of the time, not some of the time, not as people are coming through. All the time, making sure that your mask is on and that you're, there's something called a barrel sock,

sometimes they call them barrel condom, that makes sure you don't shoot when you can't. And everyone realizes you've gone safe because you can see it. Anyway, the mask thing is really drilled into your head. Carry on. This guy. So,

so they bring him out blood pouring down his face, like a legit injury. Like there's blood in his eye and they sit him down and they're like, what happened? How did this happen? And he's like, Oh, the glass, the glass all in my face. like a legit injury like there's blood in his eye and they sit him down and they're like what happened how did this happen and he's like oh the glass the glass all in my face and i didn't really understand how it happened and they're like did you have your mask on or off he's like oh i took it off he was like it was mad hot and i was like dude i could be on fire out there and i might not take that mask off you gotta keep in mind, you got children with guns

that they don't take very seriously with very hair triggers, like more hairy than most of my guns. Like it's a lot lighter trigger than an AR-15 has. These things are electronic solenoid triggers. You touch it and it fires. People, I've shot them accidentally. I've never shot a gun accidentally,

but I've shot my paintball gun accidentally. It's just a different thing. So I keep it pointed at the ground. I try to keep a barrel sock on. The triggers are gigantic. The trigger guards are like three, four inch, two inches out, but they're giant. You can lay your hand against it and it'll go off.

I honestly think I could blow mine. I think I could make mine fire by going. It'll fire if you drop it sometimes if it falls that's right just the inertia will let the triggers close so you keep your fucking mask on so he's like oh I took my mask off it was mad hot but I didn't think anybody could shoot

me where I was and I think and don't quote me on this I don't know if this is exactly what happened but I think he either got in one of the cars or was behind one of the glass on one of the cars and I can only imagine that he was sort of daring them to shoot it more and delighting in the fact that they couldn't either got in one of the cars or was behind one of the glass on one of the cars and i can only imagine that he was sort of daring them to shoot it more and delighting in the fact that they couldn't shoot through the glass and then maybe a bunch of them started shooting it and it shattered

anyway glass was thrown into his naked face because he took his mask off because it was quote mad hot and he got fucked up because he was a dumbass that's that's all that was my father's mother my grandmother used to say life is tough and it's tougher when you're stupid yes nailed it and like like i was just sitting there thinking like i hope this guy doesn't try to bring any bullshit up against the park because like he got himself hurt out there and and and i mean it's the that mass thing is so serious and people just don't understand it and i don't understand how yeah some people don't though like you hear it all the time throughout the day you'll hear like someone getting scolded for their mask i hear it every time i go at least once or twice in the day

you know there's hundreds of people out there and i and i think that's the the idiot percentage like i think about two or three percent of people are just fucking morons and they're gonna take that mask staff is on it though like i got scolded once um i've been scolded yeah i accidentally walked out without the barrel sock on and uh they're like barrel sock and i'm like oh i'm sorry you're right i've done that that's an important rule you know and uh usually my barrel sock is on longer i like to have my barrel sock on when i walk out as a dead man. So they know. Yeah, because I feel like if I see a guy

hold his gun in the air with a barrel sock on it, there's no question. That guy's not playing right now. Leave him alone. So I like to do that. Yeah, same thing. Yeah, totally.

Yeah. Well, in any case, I had a great time at that. Look forward to future adventures, paintballing, and most especially come up with something new to do. I think I really enjoyed when you, I, and Chiz went whitewater rafting, even though those rapids turned out to be pussy rapids. Even though we signed up for legit rapids. Don't think that we signed up for those pussy ass rapids.

We were looking for class 5 rapids. They assured us that these were legit rapids, and then they got these pussy rapids. five rapids they assured us that these were like legit rabbits and then they've got this pussy rapids here's the way i think of it i think that there were actually a few rapids that were like a legit five or six foot straight drop but they didn't film that well they didn't look as bad as they as they were they were down and then like you said they also weren't the worst versions of themselves they um what do you say sometimes the water sometimes there's more water and i know they gave us the narrower boats because the the time the they hadn't had as much rain and stuff like that so but i want a legit experience i want you know like like the stuff you see i want a legit real experience i don't want the dumbed down disney pussy tourist version i want to do a thing

like i like i don't want to be like yeah i went white tourist version i want to do a thing like i like i don't want to be like yeah i went whitewater rafting really was it intense no it wasn't intense at all i could have slept in the boat like it there was nothing to it my i didn't need to paddle because the guide probably could have done the whole thing himself he was so good at it anyway i i enjoyed it because we were there and we were seeing cool shit and i don't know we'd stop and jump off the boat it was that that freak show of a girl with the the belly hair I liked that. She was not a freak show she was awesome. Keep it in the circus! I hope she still works there. Wolf woman. So I definitely enjoyed myself but

it wasn't what I was looking for I was looking for an adventure and I didn't feel like we achieved that and also I'm always down for that survival trip there were people asking at the event if there's a way we can figure out to make that thing work I like the idea of working with someone to do a thing because it just smooths out so many wrinkles and makes trips so much easier if we could find it at some place that like what if we did a group adventure trip what if we thinking like what if we rented out like a

like can we put on a camping trip with 50 people in it is that a thing that we could pull off that's a thing right yeah then maybe we could run the event just a thought yeah it'd be like a little small business you know we did i imagine us feeding everybody right and we would

have to have some yeah and we would have to have some way to make sure that we can reliably feed a lot of people in the woods i i thought we would be at a survival trip, though. I don't think it's a good idea. What if we did, like, Survivor, and I had a group of survivors, and you had a group of survivors? I think that's a horrible idea. I think there are very few people who want to go on trips where they could die. That's why it's $500 a ticket.

I think a much better idea is to do like a freaking PKA camping trip and, uh, you know, whatever, make it three days long. It's, they have to be in the summer. You have to be soon.

And, uh, you know, bring a tent. We'll handle food. You know, we'll handle the basic meals, bring your snacks or whatever.

I don't know. We, we could work out the details of it, but that's a concept. Sure. I imagine if you did it like that we we'd probably just provide food ourselves and it'd be like a big feast like maybe a whole pig on a spit or something that could be easy to do you can do that for a couple hundred bucks you do a pig in the ground uh country style oh well okay i'll leave the pig cooking to you because I come from a civilized world. Don't worry, I'll get the flamethrower out. But, yeah, I'm just thinking about this and how many people we'd have and what we'd do and stuff.

Yeah, we'd have to – I don't know. I like this idea, though. Yeah, I like doing stuff with fans. Anything like that, really. I'll keep thinking of more ideas. I already said I don't want to do a gun thing because I'm afraid some fan might try to murder me or something you never know so i don't want that um i i've had a fan accidentally shoot me with a paintball gun and i got pissed off about that so i can't be like pk trap shooting and some some fan blows my fucking ear off or something so

yeah real gunplay stuff is a tricky business but yeah like like like you see we can't be returning woody with like missing body parts you saw what happened with paintball jackie is pissed off about this already i'm sure like yeah uh it um we could do pka cuts the grass and we could just all go to woody's house and cut the grass I'll line up like 35 push mowers. We'll all go out there 70 feet wide at a time. I can't believe we paid for this shit. I know, right? I had to bring my own mower.

I want to take two mowers and put them behind Colin's mower so he mows three mowers wide. I think that would be awesome. I don't know. Yeah. I want to make that happen. Speaking of Superman,

did you see the new Superman Batman trailer? I did. I am. I'm still hopeful that it's good. I wasn't buying. A lot of people love that Superman has to account for all the property damage he does. Okay. He did save the world. You ungrateful fucks but yeah now you're

gonna i don't i think you misunderstand so i a lot of people thought that it was senseless to even include all the collateral damage in the first movie they're like why is this here and they like it because they see now that it was intended to provide justification for batman getting so outraged bruce way sees Wayne Tower's fucking destroyed. I'm sure it's full of his employees that are killed. He just killed a ton of Bruce Wayne's employees, their families, children, and they're in the daycare center.

That was his fucking building that got cut down. So immediately you're like, oh. So all of that senseless violence that was in the first movie that we didn't care for, that's what pisses Batman off. It wasn't senseless violence that was in the first movie that we didn't care for that's what pisses batman off that's it wasn't senseless at all he saved the planet from like being he couldn't take that fight somewhere else i i mean i feel like he should have he should have manned up and he should have challenged general zod out in the middle of nevada he should be like come get me general zod i'm out here in nev here in Nevada where it's okay to set off a nuke.

Let's not fight in one of the top five densely populated areas on the planet. Right in the middle of New York? I feel like Superman did a bad job there. I feel like he should be held responsible for the, God knows, billions of dollars of damage. You can see Batman's point. And I think the people like that, And they're pointing that out so much. Because they like that it wasn't just mindless violence for the crowd in the first movie. It was...

I think they've reverse engineered a reason. Like, they make the movie. Everyone gets outraged at just how much property destruction that there was. And now they're like, oh, everyone got pissed about that. What if we used it in the second movie that's one way of looking at it it's in the cartoon that that this is sort of in the comic also this is originally based on that's it's it's sort of part of the thing too batman doesn't like it how powerful superman is and superman doesn't like that batman is sort of a uh he doesn't like what batman's doing how he handles things you saw he had branded the criminals

i think we're looking at the darkest bat. We've ever seen he's branding criminals Why like you didn't see Christian Bale doing shit like that? He beat him up, but he just leave him tied up like even the Joker He was just like left him dangling there and that guy has killed the woman He loves this guy's going around branding random criminals with a bat symbol you saw him do the bat that the the branding random criminals with a bat symbol. You saw him do the gun thing that he shoots that has the, what is it called? The grappling gun.

He did the grappling hook thing and goes away from the laser vision. Superman rips the top of the Batmobile off and he fucking just stands there like he doesn't give a shit. He looks huge. I'm looking forward to seeing how they balance one character that's obviously more powerful than the other. You know, if Superman pulls off the roof of the Batmobile and looks at him he could have laser item and ended it right there at any given moment as superman makes eye contact with you he could have chosen to boil your blood superman doesn't want to kill him it's not he's not a murderer it's it that's the thing

there is batman yes he is batman's he is. Batman's not a good guy. We saw Batman versus Superman, right? And at the very end, Batman had Superman on the ropes. Right? That cartoon animated thing we saw, the two movies. Batman had Superman on the ropes. He had the kryptonite, whatever. And he's like, I just want you to know that I could kill you.

And I'm thinking, yeah. And he could have killed you a dozen times. That's how this works. Neither of you are murderers. You're both good guys, and you know, like, Batman only gets his opportunities because Superman opts not to kill him. The difference is that

Superman's being careful not to kill Batman, and Batman is flirting with that line much more recklessly than Superman is many of the things that Batman does to Superman in that fight could have killed him like like you never know like like at one point he takes all of Gotham's electrical grid puts it into Superman maybe that kills him he shoots him with that sonic pistol that makes blood like run out of Superman's ears and eyes ever wrestle with like a 10 year old and they're using

like full fingernails and trying way too hard and it's like on one hand hey stop goofing you stop roughhousing like a dick you know you don't see me using fingernails on the other hand they have to go 100 to even be in this thing yeah because you're just completely overpowering him. Batman is a child to Superman. He has to use nuclear power plants, power supplies, and kryptonite and all this stuff, because it's the only way he can even play this game with the grown-ups. Batman is, in my opinion, it's humanity's strongest hero.

As far as a normal human being, he's the pinnacle of strength and fitness, and he's got a science and research division backing him up so he's our champion he's earth's most powerful champion versus this this you know Kryptonian I could definitely see it makes sense he's got to fight him he can't back down he can't you wouldn't he can't so I love this I'm very excited about it and I think it's going to spin off a whole new DC Universe that's already rolling along that's big, going to marvel, that's going to

rival Marvel big time. Because I saw the Suicide Squad. You're going to have the same Batman in that movie doing his thing. And then it's just a logical next step. Suicide Squad looked good. That looked really interesting to me. You say Batman's in Suicide Squad? Yeah, yeah. really good. That looked really interesting to me. You say Batman's in Suicide Squad?

Yeah, yeah. It's all DC Universe. Batman has... That's... All right, so... So is Ben Affleck in it? Yes. Okay. Yes, yes.

Whole new universe. Ben Affleck is our Batman. That's our Superman. Those are our... Jared Leto's our Joker. You know, like Marvel, right? Oh, Marvel's got the best universe. They're so much better, et cetera, et cetera.

DC can hang with this. I'm looking forward to this new batch of movies out of DC. The Batman movies are great. The Batman movies are as good as the Avengers, et cetera. I like Superman, it seems, more than most people did, but I thought the Superman movies were strong, too. A lot of people think they're second tier. Guardians of the Galaxy, I like that movie. I enjoyed it, and I'm so happy for Chris Pratt that he did well. But I didn't think it was... I didn't walk away from that movie blown away by the epicness of it or anything like that. I thought it was a very good movie. I didn't think it was one of the best I've ever seen,

but I thought it was a very good movie. The first Avengers, I walked away thinking, we are in the golden age of movies. You know, it it continues we continue to make movies that are better than humanity has ever seen before Guardians of the Galaxy didn't do that for me um it was just it was just a good movie to me it's it's no nothing more nothing less well we all I just like that they're getting the universe established you saw Wonder Woman uh you see Aquaman in the trailer uh it's either Aquaman or it's some kid discovering the kryptonite.

We saw that Lex Luthor played by Jesse... What's his name? Jesse Iserman or something like that? He's not the guy from Breaking Bad, is he? Who's Jesse Iserman? No, no, no. That's the kid's name. I don't know his fucking name. I'll have to look it up real quick.

It's the guy who plays Lex Luthor in the new Batman movie Jesse Eisenberg which one they're saying all right well this one it's Jesse Eisenberg Jesse Eisenberg yeah yeah so yeahi new i'm looking forward to seeing uh seeing his performance but they've got they're getting their universe established you'll have cal drogo uh playing uh aquaman uh wonder woman i'm not i'm not crazy about that actress i've seen pictures of her before and didn't think i honestly don't think her boobs are big enough like like they're just there's not big enough like maybe that's sexist maybe that's misogynistic but in the comics wonder woman has a fucking rack okay it's it's absurd she's she's like this amazon super warrior

who has you know superpowers and is a you know nearly as strong as superman but she's got huge boobs in every iteration i've ever seen of her they're obscene. And some of the... Do you know the actress's name? No. But I'm glad that there is a Wonder Woman. I keep finding that... I don't know if it's 70s or 80s, but I forget her name too. Oh, okay. Some of this is borderline porn. I'll do new Wonder Woman.

This is... Oh, was she Xena's sidekick or something? Mm-mm. Let's see. I think I'm seeing the right woman, but... Yeah. but yeah hmm yeah Wonder Woman it's funny you say that but yes she is supposed to have big jugs isn't she she's like an Amazonian fighter or something like that

but I'm like you I'm happy that they're getting the universe established and i think that dc has storylines that can be as interesting as marvel um like iron man was never interesting to me until this last set of movies came out um people like hawkeye and i hardly knew some of these guys you'll see yeah good yeah if if anybody's listening to this that wants like more of the backstory for uh the avengers there's an avengers cartoon on netflix and it's all of the it's like all the little mini stories it involves the guard like the guardians of gal of the the guardians of the galaxy will come down and they'll join the avengers to like fight a villain ultron and uh like most of the storylines that we're seeing played out are in those cartoons. All the backstory

with the Black Panther and Wakanda and the origin of Vision and all those characters is in those cartoons. They're pretty good, although they are children's cartoons. I prefer adult cartoons.

I do too. Yeah. Tentacles. I prefer adult cartoons. I do too. Yeah. Yeah. So I watched, um, tentacles. Have you seen the movie coherence tentacles? No,

I like it. I, I, um, I'm trying to figure out what I can tell you without giving much away, but it starts off and I'll say the first 10 minutes or so we're a little slow, but their character development, you meet all the people and it's pretty much a bunch of adults in their 30s I

guess maybe some 40s at a dinner party and they're all they're all friends although you clearly you can see not all of them like each other and stuff but but whatever and there's a comet passing by that night that creates chaos and I'll leave it there. And, um, it was really good. And at times I had to put on my thinking cap to keep everything straight. And, um, it, I just walked away like, Whoa, this is a storytelling movie. And there's something to that. Like a lot of the movies I watch, especially if I get out to the movie, it's an event movie, right? It's like an Avengers movie or Batman, Superman,

or something like an event. And now I'm like, man, I want more coherence movies. I want more movies that made me think, that made me impacted. Because there's some good storytelling going on out there have you seen 310 to yuma i tried to watch it a long time ago it moved too slow for me really should i give it another try i know it's a western um have you seen uh that's a western so so that's a really good western i think you should see the other other one is I'm going to have to look it up. It's Ed Harris is in it. I'll just look

up his work. 310 is long too, right? I like them long. It's like two and a half hours long. I normally do two if they keep the story. Appaloosa. Have you seen Appaloosa? I'm not sure. So you want to watch a trailer for Appaloosa?

Hmm. All right. Link? I'm looking. Okay, so here's a quick scene. It's a two-minute scene. I think this is actually better than watching a trailer. All right, Link.

Uh-huh. Chucks. All right, so I'm queued up at zero. Putting the big screen on. So this is Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen. Jeremy Irons is also in there, I think. Ready, set,

play. It clears up in like... It's pissing in the bar. Button him up. Who the fuck are you? Virgil Cole. Virgil Cole. Oh, shit.

Hey, Chuck. Virgil Cole wants us to button up. Step a little closer, Virgil Cole, and I'll piss you in your pocket. Fellas, I'm the new city marshal. Put it away or lose it. Hey, Bron, they got a new city marshal. Put your little contraptions away. I'm gonna walk you down a jailhouse. I don't wanna spook the horses. You ain't walking us nowhere, vertical. You pull on me, either one of you, I'll kill you both.

Bullshit. I ain't shootin', mister. I ain't shootin'. Give me your gun. So that was a good guy with the shotgun. Yeah, that's Viggo Mortensen with a fucking 10 gauge. Thank God. I was like, I don't know who's going to take three. Yeah, Viggo shot the third.

I warned him. I like this movie. Yeah, it's very good. There's lots of shit like that going on. It's very serious. And I can't remember the lady's name in it, but she's the one who... Bridget Jones' Diary.

I'm not going to help you with naming actresses. Well, fuck it. In any case, very good Western as well. I like that one too um that one 310 to Yuma oh and uh I just got a there's a sequel to Divergence called what like Insurgence or something is that the sequel to Divergence I I I don't know anything about that you're missing out on a thing it's kind of like um you know hunger games not quite as hot oh yeah i yeah dogged it too much i thought it was a good movie okay i'm aware of its existence yeah people i felt like they dogged it out of loyalty to hunger games but i thought it was a pretty good movie i saw uh that i saw a post on reddit it was like pretty good movie. I saw a post on Reddit.

It was like, what do you call Hunger Games in France? And it was Battle Royale with cheese, which is really funny because the inside joke there is that a lot of people, Hunger Games is based off of Battle Royale, which is that movie where the kids are just massacring each other, but they think it's cheesy and made for kids and not as good. So I love that little pun and the wordplay there. You ever seen Battle Royale?

No. That's legit. I've seen it, but I don't remember if those kids were Japanese. I feel like they were Asian, if I remember correctly. But it's the hardcore version of The Hunger Games. Really? There's kids killing kids the whole fucking movie. If I remember correctly, at the beginning,

this guy explains to them that they're going to be in the Battle Royale, and one kid's not having it, and he just kills that kid immediately. There's kids killing themselves because they can't take the game. And they've got, if I remember correctly, there's blades and sickles and shit. It's been a while since I've seen it, and I don't even know if I finished it, but it was very intense. How many Hunger Games movies have there been so far?

Two or three? I think they did the first two because there's three books if I remember correctly. They did two that were each for a book and then I think they split the third book into halves and one of those halves has already been out. So three movies, one more to go. I think I'm behind

a movie. I've read the books did you see the one which was a complete waste of time and was basically peter every time you see him on those propaganda tapes is looking worse and worse more tortured and beaten meanwhile um the girl whatever jennifer lawrence's character is she's hiding underground and like uh i won't spoil it she's hiding underground though with some other people no but i've read that in the book um all right you don't need to see the movie then good i kind of want to it fucking sucks it sucks what i just told you encompasses the whole movie the rest of it is just like i don't want to we can't use her this way we have

to use her for the greater good. Why doesn't anyone care what I think? Bullshit back and forth until something bad happens, and then everybody agrees. The thing is, so the third book, and I'm not going to spoil too much, and everyone knows this. This third book is basically them revolting in real life

against the capital city, right? You know this. The second book though had two halves do it like the first half was the aftermath and the build-up and then they um they had the hunger games itself and and the you know escape from that facility the second book if they wanted to make four movies the second book had a ready split and well maybe that's what they've done i've seen all the movies i thought the last one was worthless you you described it right they split the third book in half

which is which was the wrong choice but oh well it's all good my face will get better yeah you'll be uh it'll be looking better tomorrow which is when we're doing pka so yeah those non-patreons aren't going to see the true beauty that is my majestic black eye and then we'll figure out another one in whitewater rafting i'm so stuck on go-kart racing i don't know if that dude i would love go-kart racing like i'm totally up for that if there's a way to make that work that's on the top of my list because i i've always uh wanted to do it every time i go i ended up at some pussy place where i don't feel like they're going fast enough to be

dangerous but you described that scenario where the carts you were on were legit oh my and so i'm up for something like that i swear and you like i'm i'm not a pussy right like i'm i'm typically the guy that leads the charge i've done all sorts of action and adventure sports my entire life and uh um i mean i i've been i've been lost at sea and not that worried about it not that lost i could see land but fuck it you know out on a jet ski that was sinking like um i i but the go cars were scary like that was legit shit well cool uh that'll be the that's at the top of my list maybe we should reach out to some of those places see if we can work something out um we could reach out to uh some sort of whitewater rafting thing because if you're gonna bring you know more than a group of 25 i feel like you need to coordinate something seriously especially with whitewater

rafting like we would need the whole facility i feel like we did it in like outside denver or like uh outside of i don't know somewhere somewhere mountainous where there's good rapids i know i know colorado's got a ton of rapids i know uh some places in the northwest have have them uh like because i think it's those areas uh you know when the when the snows thaw and there's lots of water in the rivers like that's the time to go if i if i think maybe it is a springtime thing i know so in north carolina it's a fall thing i think is the best time to go but i'm not sure yeah it is that's when they release the dams i think ah yeah yeah that makes sense so um yeah i don't know we'll have to catch it when it's right maybe grab one of those uh you know that river that's not even always open like you know they didn't open it last year but they'll open it this year we've had a lot of rain um it'll be cool yeah uh but something like i don't know an activity like softball wouldn't work an activity like ziplining

wouldn't work so uh you know running out an arcade like that wouldn't really work either i don't think we'd have a lot of awesome enough yeah it's not awesome enough we need something cool where like you know we're having a good time i want to enjoy myself there that's the that's a major component of it uh if you can hate me if you want to but i want to be something where everybody has a good time and uh and it's something that we don't do all the time yeah i i said it you know on my promo video like i don't know what you're doing this weekend but it's not as good as playing paintball with me and and i want to say it again i don't know what you're good at doing this weekend but it's not as good as whitewater rafting bungee jumping uh oh bungee jumping i i i might be too much of a scaredy cat for that i i really don't want to do that i'll do it ah i guess i'll do it

all day i'll go first fuck. I could give a shit. I remember watching the guy from Mythbusters doing it over and over, trying to do that one stunt. And he was so done with it by like the eighth time. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently it's way worse if you're hung by, I don't know, do most people hung by their feet?

I'm not even sure. But yeah, he had a thing where he was trying to grab an apple from a pool with his mouth. And he'd jump and then he'd get it just right and he'd get it. And like you said, by the, I don't know what, seventh or eighth time, he just, it was torture for him. And Jamie took over and it was torture for him too, but he sucked it up and helped the other guy out it's nice yeah so we'll figure something out maybe and uh i think we should end it there there's some other topics but i think we should save them for pka uh okay all right we'll do that ufc talk should wait till uh pka i think yes and joe's fight's coming up it's on the 25th so it's 11 days from now as we say this i've been talking to him about his training camp and stuff.

I will say nothing, because I think that's what he'd want. But I'm anxiously awaiting for him to probably murder a guy. Jesus. Alright.

Painkiller Nearly, episode 48. Thanks, guys.