Painkiller Already - PKN 484

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

BKN484 How you doing boys? Doing pretty well Did you guys make any Black Friday purchases of any kind? No, I don't need anything I did a lot of Black Friday window shopping but

yeah, I bought some salt for my fish tank because it was on sale and I will need it I got on CamelCamelCamel I got on CamelCamel camel camel.com which is in case you don't know it shows price drops across the internet uh so you don't get scammed by those people who are like yeah it's on sale now but it's maybe the fucking price from last they sell it for 80 for the last year and now they're like 80 half price yeah i saw some tvs on there that i

guess were a little bit of tempting but i really don't need one i got a tv in every fucking room it's big every everyone's big everyone's nice um you're flush with tvs every time you move you get new ones i feel i've got extras uh but i did see uh some hoodies i guess that were like normally 60 and they were if you got it in royal blue they were 15 and i was like yeah give me one. And they accidentally sent three. So that was fun. I was like a bandit. But I didn't buy anything else. I did buy a game. I bought Dark and Darker and tried to play a little bit. But man,

that is a frustrating game to play. It just really shit on constantly. What's the nature of it? Here's the bright spot in Dark and Darker. When you go into a raid, it takes two minutes from

main menu to end the raid, and you're in. You die real quick, because I'm awful. Two more minutes, I'm right back in. This is the VR Tarkov? No, this is an extraction Dungeons and Dragons. So, extraction-based, meaning you go in with the gear you bring

you pick out your setup and everything um what this does it's a little different it gives you a basic setup no matter what so you always go in with like your clothes on and like a basic weapon basic shield and that's nice so you don't have to ever put that on you just go right back in and go again but i've never extracted i must have died 50 60 times in a row are you playing with a full group or is it like a mishmash you're getting assigned just by myself just i've mostly been playing slow solo just to try to understand uh the game a little bit does solo mean that it's just putting you in with a random three other guys or whatever no it's just you no no it's like tarkov so if you go in by yourself, you're by yourself.

But there's like 10 or 12 humans. Yeah, 10 to 15 other people in the dungeon that you're in. And the dungeon's full of PvE elements like skeletons and bats and magicians and spike traps. You can play as a bard. You can play as a wizard. I'm playing as a cleric, I think. So I've got a shield and a bumper, like a mace. And I've got a spell book I can get out and heal myself and clear everything in front of me. But still, like...

Why have you never extracted? Oh, they kill me. I'll get into one fight. I can take anything one-on-one because I can dodge. Any PvE one-on-one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't think I haven't seen a player yet.

Oh, that's going to be rough. I haven't seen a player yet. You haven't even seen anyone? You're just getting fucked by the starter skeletons? Yes. I'm telling you, go in there and beat three skellies in a row and I'll give you a fucking medal. I could do it. I could beat nine. Yeah. I'm just name-balling this thing.

Three skellies and a Clydesdale. Bring them at me. You can beat anyone one-on-one. I need $35 and 19 gigs of space to prove it. I did play in early access, and when I would run into people then, it'd be like, uh-oh. Uh-oh, they know how to play.

Don't they know how to play? Isn't this brand new? Well, you know, brand new is subjective, right? Like, in six or nine nine months you can become an expert that's unfathomable like you can know every crevice of the game these people play all day every day for you know are you getting any xp or are you just going in killing a skeleton and you're like oh no my pain two skeletons it's hard to beat two is could it be that part of the reason you're struggling to extract

is that you have a low level character i know i i don't have to improve my tarkov skills at all but if i'm yeah 60 hours in tarkov you just walk to the extraction it's probably like skyrim where like if you're getting continually like where the enemies scale to you like if you start Skyrim and you're getting fucked by that cave bear over and over it's because you suck like it's because you're bad like that there's no excuse for that bear to get you

I imagine these skellies are low tier skellies no it doesn't scale it's just really hard game oh boo when you swing your sword like you better be clicking on his head you better be holding it on his head and tracking his head so that he hits him in the head when they swing the mouse by the way this is some v no it's a mouse it's a mouse oh i mean so just i thought it was a vr game yeah no this is a this

is mouse and keyboard um this is what Scum and those guys have been playing. I'm level two. I'm going to stick it out a little longer. I've wanted to quit a few times, but I don't want to be a pissy pants about it. I want to try a little bit of a pissy pants about it. Oh, I'm telling you, you guys try this. You won't. You'll

have a hard time getting past level two as well. I like games where I get a super powerful ability and then a nice big old plateau to use that ability like i like borderlands i like that this like yeah way too challenging of a game like that one like elden reminds me of the scrolls elden ring combat reminds me of chivalry i don't know if you played that but it's a medieval uh like pvp game where like there's a bunch of knights over there and you could be like a you could have you could be the knight with a long sword and a shield or you can be a crossbowman all these weapons you can pick medieval

shit though and the combat it's extremely challenging so when you get into a duel with someone you're like oh swing it hard they're like like parry your shit away poke you in the eyeball have you heard of this game or seen any videos of this pc game called i think banner lords yeah banner lords 3 it's like a big it's almost rts looking but it's like a third person soldier game and like you're one of the guys in a unit and so i watched this guy on YouTube and I guess there were a bunch of randoms in there and whatnot. And they got assigned.

It's like big wars, like, you know, a hundred versus a hundred. And you're in different units where like, if we're all, if we all three joined one, I might be a Spearman and Woody might be an Archer.

And Kyle, you might be a Spearman also. And you have someone who's like holding the banner. Why is Woody going to be an Archer? And I don't, you can be the Archer too. Okay, cool. And God damn someone who's holding the banner. Why is Woody going to be an archer and I don't? You can be the archer too, Kyle. Okay, cool. God damn it, I was the archer. You're going to just take that from me? Not anymore. Now you have a cudgel.

Now you have a cudgel. You suck, Taylor. I'm terrible at this. I'm making everybody upset on the game that I only have a cursory familiarity with from one YouTube video I watched last night. So the way that you used to organize and reorganize during battle is someone would have a big banner.

And so if Woody and I are in the same unit and he kind of gets away from the crowd and he's smacking people with his sword, he doesn't want to look around and be like, fuck, I don't know where any of my guys are. He looks and he sees a big banner of one person in our unit, keeps everything together, and he falls back to that. And this British guy, and it was better that he was British, was the head of his kind of group of 30 guys. And you can see the battle lines forming.

It's similar to that total war, but you're down there on the ground level. And so he's saying stuff like reform the line, reform back. And it's like two layered lines of guys. And then he'll, you know, you're watching and you can see on, on like eye level cavalry on the other team.

And he'll be like backline form left. And then all the, and it's because they're all individual people. Some people fuck up. Some people immediately are forming up left in order to block and it's like super strategic looking then the battle gets moving and it's kind of hectic and you know brave heart like but much better than brave heart you're saying they have big battles but everyone is controlled by a player every single individual army man is a player yeah squads and so you're having to try in mid-battle

call people back tell them to move forward reform on the left and like if i was done uh you're out for that battle you're dead okay and how when a battle begins or how like 100 versus 100 for example or this one looked like at bare minimum 100 versus 100. Like there were a lot. And it's thematic. I couldn't see the whole battlefield because I was viewing this guy's visibility. And so he could see like his unit of 40 guys and then the unit next to him. But he kind of looked down the way before the battle started. And I couldn't tell how many people were down there. And so it's almost limited like a real battle where you don't exactly know. It looks cool as shit.

It looks challenging challenging i'll tell you the game of the year alex jones has a game have you seen the gameplay i did see that he's like a he's like a big tech mecha lord at some point and that is no looks kind of like so so alex jones has a game i watched uh asmongold or whatever his fucking name is play it i want he beat the whole game. It took him about 45 minutes. And he's very good at gaming. So he sped run that shit.

It was pretty impressive to watch him play. First of all, it's a little hard at times. It's a side-scrolling shooter that has clips of Alex Jones throughout. The levels, the enemies, and the theme are all based on Alex Jones' life. So I think the first level you're fighting um a bunch of doctors who are trying to vaccinate you they're they're charging you with big vaccination needles and dr fauci is maybe the bad guy that one yeah yeah fauci's a boss hillary's a boss clinton's a boss um george soros is like the main boss spoiler spoiler alert he's

like is he a big lizard? He's a big worm King or something. It was crazy. And you're, you're shooting gay frogs. Like there's like, there's like hypno toads that are shooting rainbows at you and shit. The second level actually had me cracking up. It just scrolls San Francisco.

And then, and then it gives you a paragraph about what you're going to do in San Fran. You're like, you're like the liberal hive mind has exploded all over San Francisco. We've got to go in there and clean this mess up. And it's homeless people throwing shit at you. And you're just like, and homeless people are falling like a field full of wheat. Are you leveling up throughout this with Alex Jones supplements?

Yes, yes yes yes there's alex jones's supplement is one of the power up it's like um primal mail or something he hits the primal mail but the best part is he grabs a bottle of something and donald trump announced he is like i'm here for you i'm here and he flies in and he's like he's like super trump with a t on his chest and he's got laser eyes he accompanies you for a while and one more thing a powerful summon yes at one point you hit a power up and joe rogan shows up but he's a centaur it's you know he's got the horse body or whatever and he says something like come alex jones and like alex jones jumps on his back and it's like when you're when you get the uh the the star in mario like and you can just run through all the enemies

because Joe's carrying you and you just destroy everything. Dude, this sounds like a great game. I clicked on the video while Kyle was explaining what the game is. He is currently shooting the thought police while trying to free a bunch of guys in MAGA hats from the big tech jail.

Yes. That's what's his name that owns Facebook. What's his name? Zuckerberg. It's Zuckerberg if you look closely. Zuckerberg's got like a big hammer he's trying to hit you with. And all the MAGA guys have their hats on and they're in cages like, free us, Alex! And when you kill them, of course, they all get free.

Yeah, there's Skyrim quests like that. You gotta go free the villagers from the cages. This is good. I hope this game sells a lot so that his victims can get paid. He's probably... I wonder if it's a pay-to-win game where it's like, No. You're a damn soldier.

You need more subs. I'll tell you, I expected the absolute worst. I made a game. Like, this is better than my game. This is a good game. This is a good game. All right? This is a side scrolling

sheet that's what i did too i made it looks like a 1980s game like um yeah i used to play these a lot and when you die you just pump in another quarter and you could pick it up from where you were um and i looked my knee-jerk reaction but just because it was alex jones was like this is a terrible grift i was like wait a minute no's not. This is a game that you can play and have fun. It's not a grift at all. It's just a game. It's a product that he said. I see it's going for 1776 right now. And I'm

not even joking. I bet it's doing tremendously well because that video had like 2.2 million views and was growing. And I'm telling you, when you watch him play the game, not only is he having fun, it's not stupid. Don my don't get me wrong it's silly but it's not a bad game like it's not just like mindlessness it's not as hard as where he's trying he's like oh this is hard yeah it looks like a real finished game yeah i i remember keemstar used to make this game and it wasn't even a game.

He just got like a free game engine and then he sold it and you couldn't, there was no game to play. You just walked around and he'd like take viewer ideas. They're like, put a pink dildo in it. It's like, cool. So now somewhere on like a beach in this giant open world,

there was a pink dildo. And if you saw it nothing happened you just noticed that he added a thing in like an object into the game there was nothing you could do with it nothing you'd say it wasn't a game that's a grift right every customer who bought it was unhappy with their purchase you couldn't play the game it was terrible alex jones game isn't that this is a game you can play dude i just was clicking through on that video that Zach sent, just trying to look at stills.

There's a still I just clicked on at a minute 20 of Bill Clinton in his underwear playing a saxophone on the top of Epstein's temple, and then you're trying to shoot him off the top of Epstein's pedophile. That part was hard because he's like a necromancer, so those ghosts that he's sending out of his saxophone are bringing the little skeletons back to life below him. Does he throw like cigars at you?

The whole time he's saying where are my cigars? Where are my cigars? I swear to God. Monica didn't come in today. You'll have to do. And then he comes after and tries to molest you and you have to escape Bill Clinton.

I guess he wouldn't want to molest you. I found him playing Bill Clinton. Is he in his underwear? It looks like a baby. Yeah, he's in his underwear playing a saxophone. I mean, just based on clicking through this, this looks hilarious. I bet a lot of people watch Asmongold play it. What are the rainbow

bats? There's also Rainbow rats So those are just gay bats and gay rats I think after a while You run out of liberal ideas That are acceptable Okay

You run out of acceptable, shootable ideas It wouldn't matter Just keep throwing rainbows on things, whatever Yeah, i'm surprised he didn't have like aborted fetuses that were that had been reanimated into a fetus hulk or something they should like there should be more summons kind of like trump like that's an obvious one you should be able to summon the covington kids and they paralyze with merely a look whatever enemy you're you're fighting if i'm struggling in this game this shooter that i can't like i'm just getting my ass kicked and i'm a conservative someone get kyle rittenhouse in here that motherfucker will get me through this level

yeah he's a he's an ultra powerful so i knew you were going to say that you did yeah yeah yeah that's a good call for you know people have criticized a lot about kyle rittenhouse i haven't seen his marksmanship criticized no one has criticized his marksmanship yeah two pedophiles down would we want him on the show would we want to talk to kyle rittenhouse or is that too uh i don't know what i'd ask him other than like what was it like shooting those fucking dudes yeah it was really scary and then I saw they were child molesters and I felt good and it's like okay well thanks for stopping by I don't know what else I'd ask him what else I know he's broke I want to know what what do you do when you're not I want to know apparently he's broke how much money did he. What do you do when you're not shooting criminals? Apparently, he's broke. How much money did he get? He got a lot of money, right?

The book. He wants to sell the book. He wrote a book? Yeah, I forget the name of it. But a lot of people gave him money. Okay, cool. And then I lost my train of thought. A lot of people gave him money, and then apparently it's all gone.

His lawyer said he's broke. Yeah, I'm imagining legal costs probably legal cost didn't he have a go fund me and like go fund me took it down something like that and then they had to fund money some other way i'm sure i i don't remember that in particular but i've been confusing him with someone else yeah he's a lot easier to support than that guy that shot trayvon didn't he go on and do some more sketchy shit uh no he just sold those those targets you you told me about no no that's a different guy that sold the targets that was an associate of mine that that did that because i remember being like fuck why didn't we think of that that's so brilliant let's just fucking print

his picture out a million a million dollars later but uh the guy that um i don't think zimmerman did anything else i think he just faded away didn't he did paintings he did artwork that he sold he did and he would sign your gun you could bring your gun and he'd fucking autograph that shit he yelled it you bring him i i forget what zimmerman did but it seemed like it was always like aha he told on himself in one way or another domestic dispute where he said the n-word or something you know it was something something happened he got in some more trouble that that looked bad in conjunction with him shooting trayvon martin right you if you want to line up behind a guy like that he needs to be pretty spotless in every other regard yeah i think that didn't he get uh he got

off on the trayvon thing yeah because he was like i was having my head beaten in and i shot him in defense and then immediately after that he started pulling shit like weird paintings and i guess trying to parlay his new his newfound fans into some way of of monetizing it i guess it didn't work out for him dude needed a podcast are we talking about written house or zimmerman zimmerman shooting the shit with george zimmerman i like it i like episode one all right take that out because we can sell that book name to kyle shooting the shit that's good that'd be a good ass book title for him very very whoa that's crazy gets draws the eye really loud colors on the front couple of like faux bullet holes on there yeah you get your msnbc do a story rather than blur the whole cover

i didn't notice until i saw a big selfie of Rittenhouse that he has the same quasi-retard face that Shane Gillis does. I knew you were going to say Shane Gillis. Yeah. Yeah. I just saw a picture of Kyle Rittenhouse and I'm like, that looks so much like Shane Gillis, which transitively looks like someone with Down Syndrome

or a chromosomal issue. And that's funny. Yeah, there's got to be a joke there, like half Down syndrome or something. That doesn't work. You can't have a Down syndrome person have a baby with a normal person and make a half Downie because that's what Shane Gillis looks like.

Yeah, but that doesn't work because you have different numbers of chromosomes. Yeah, it's a whole thing unto itself. You can't get a little Down syndrome. You're in or out. That's not true down syndrome is a spectrum yeah i had a my boss's kid had mosaic down syndrome so with mosaic down syndrome you can look it but not have like the mental deficiencies you just have like the weak muscle building and the moon face but you're actually of at least average intelligence yeah and then there are other people who don't look it but they have the down syndrome

brain which is what my boss's kid had and he really struggled to get like the support services and is it called an ied what is it for like kids in school where they have special instructions iep okay um he really struggled to get an iep at his kids public school because he didn't look like he had down that sucks he's missing a chromosome you know or has an extra yeah yeah okay i am missing a chromosome otherwise i'd know that but um uh yeah so mosaic down syndrome is a thing it's not that's lame um but they still can't reproduce with the normal doesn't the number of chromosomes determine if you can like make viable offspring right tell me the that a down syndrome person cannot reproduce with a non-down syndrome person because they don't have because i thought there

was something with the with the chromosome matchup that it didn't work, but that they can get pregnant amongst themselves because they have a chromosome lineup. It's like one of those horse zebra jackass things. Yeah, like they're another species. They can breed with each other. In the same way that I can't breed with my dog,

the parts are compatible, but I don't get any kids out of it. That's how Down syndrome people are with each other. Dude, the aliens are going to show up one day and get off of their get off of their tonka why don't you use horse and zebra what's wrong with you you're you're a science denier kyle why was it you and the dog now you're too much oh okay you want to talk about ian gary oh my god talk about i to talk about Ian Gary? Yes. Do you know Ian McGarry? You're going to learn a lot about Ian Gary. He's going to be one of your new favorite athletes, Taylor.

Okay? We talk about Ian Gary a lot. Ian Gary is an up-and-comer in the UFC. He's this sort of a brash Conor McGregor copycat. Now, he's not the most interesting part of this story. The interesting part is his wife, his newlywed wife, who's 40- old he's 26 and she wrote a book called wag and it's like how to become a wag and a wag is wives and girlfriends of professional athletes and so she has a book about how to trap young athletes and lock them down marry them like like girls do you want to be a wife and girlfriend

do you want to be the next victoria beckham the next blah blah blah like i don't know the rest of those hoes but but that was one of them yeah and uh and oj there she is she's married this guy and not only that her ex-husband is his nutritionist and he's put him on a vegan diet that includes lots of soy and so i'm not making this part up your proteins to be a fighter that doesn't seem well you know he's getting plenty of vegan protein and um and so this has all come out and it's become a real point of mockery for ian gary not only that also there's tons of pictures of her on instagram like with other fighters like like like like sidled up a bit like sidled up with like sugar sean o'malley who has an open relationship with this girl so it's like sean o'malley fucked her like like you can't like like like sean o'malley definitely fucked

leila uh machado gary so they're they're married what is this they're married? What does this say? They're married, yeah. Did he know about her, you know, how to trap young men book before he married her? I don't know. Is it just coming out now? I don't know. But, oh, yeah, he knew about the book. Yeah, for sure. Oh, that's the best part.

He's helping to promote the book. He's, like, holding the kid in one hand and the book in the other, and she's behind him like, yeah. Like, this is really... Dude, that's 26, and she's, like like yeah like like this is this is really six and she's like 40 or 41 yes that is fucking weird he's gonna realize the mistake he's made so they're getting tons of flack and so she's been going online threatening to sue people who have been saying bad things about her now here's why where all this comes to a head. The next UFC event not only has

Ian Gary in it, but it also has Colby Covington in it. The meanest person in the world. I forget fighters. Do you think he's going to poke fun at this? His son made a video called, Ian Gary

shouldn't go to the press conference. Dude, poor Gary. it seems like he's been taken advantage of poor ian whatever yeah um it's uh it's been real fun when did they meet the whole was he like their baby her baby his babysitter is it like the macron situation over in france fairly recently because she was like i saw pictures of her with um masvidal i saw pictures of her with uh with sean and i saw pictures of her with Masvidal. I saw pictures of her with Sean. I saw pictures of her with somebody else hanging all over them and hitting people up in their DMs.

She's just like, she wanted to be a wag. She wrote a book about being a wag. This is just such a bad look for him. Again, Colby Covington, meanest person on the planet. You know what's funny? If you were genuinely successful at getting to be

the wife and or girlfriend of professional athletes at a decent clip you would have never reached the possibility of writing a book about it so even her writing of the book is a tacit admission she isn't good at it no one writes a book about that shit if you're already living on the golden paved easy street that's the thing is she got i Ian Gary. I don't know how much Ian Gary makes, but an up-and-coming UFC fighter is making like 30 to show and 30 more to win twice a year. He might be a 50 guy, but not much more than that. It's just when you think about the wives and girlfriends of professional athletes,

you don't think about a guy making $150 a year with a short career yeah you're like oh is that your boyfriend the center of the philadelphia eagles or like whatever the fuck that guy god damn right have you seen our documentary that guy's name is jason and his girlfriend is awesome that she's been on his podcast, The Center of the Eagles. And they've got a great family thing going on. She is the wag queen. This woman dating a guy who's going to make $150 for a brief window in his life. That's not it. Before he gets a brain jam. I heard that last year or whatever,

they started making that documentary about the Kelsey brother. That's the Center for the Eagles. And the idea was it's twilight years the Eagles and the idea was Jason it's twilight years it's his final season he's gonna get cut and then he had his greatest year ever in that documentary now I want to watch it oh so I'm not you know me I'm a pretty casual fan filthy casual fan uh I think the guys are he's like made the pro bowl a bunch of times and he's they're talking about hall of fame for him so what i know doesn't line up with what you said i don't know who's wrong no i heard that as well but he's at the end of his career though right he's like 37 years old yeah dude yeah he

he's small and he doesn't look like crazy strong and he like i said he's small for the position but he's smart and i think he's the best in the NFL at that job, and he has it for as long as he wants it. There's a guy at Georgia that's going to be graduating next year. Yeah, right. Apparently, center is like the second most complicated job on the team, they say. Yeah, I did see clips of – He handles the ball more than just about anybody. He handles the ball more than anyone on the team.

He snaps it every fucking snap. To the QB. Yeah, but sometimes he snaps it to someone team. He snaps it every fucking snap. To the QB. Yeah, but sometimes he snaps it to someone else. He always snaps it, though. Unless, you know what I mean? That's the scariest part. I'd watch that documentary. I expect that ball to get snapped cleanly every time.

And the one time it's not, and it goes over my QB's head and sails 20 yards behind and ruins the game, it's like, fire him. Fire that fucker. He's not allowed to do that ever. It's like you can't have it. I saw highlights of Jason Kelsey that, like, during the – because usually it's the quarterback who's making all the calls of, like,

we're switching, like calling an audible because they recognize the defense. And we've got to switch to this play, this option instead. And I saw multiple times in this highlight, like the QB, whatever the Philly QB is, Jason, Jalen Hurts, maybe his name is. And he was trying to change the play. And Jason Kelsey's turning around like, no, no, we're doing this and that. And he's like, okay, Jason. And so it's like Jason deciding.

You know how a pitcher can shake off the catcher's idea? Yeah. Apparently the center on the Eagles can shake off the quarterback's idea. Yeah. the center on the eagles could shake off the quarterback's idea yeah jalen hurts has to be like well he is bigger than me and this is football i guess i have to listen to him yeah that's really cool so the eagles um they almost lost their game last weekend with the ot with that i saw that you're telling the story and uh anyway so they made it to ot with a 59 yard field goal which is pretty long and then uh the winning play so they scored a touchdown in overtime and i watch it jalen hertz runs into the end zone he ran in so cleanly

i might have made it like no one really touched him. I watch it again and again and again and I see there's a defender from Buffalo. He's in motion running at a full sprint. You see Jason Kelsey spot him. Jason Kelsey doesn't even defend his own guy on the line. He ignores him. He goes to the sprinter,

blocks that guy, and that's why Jalen Hurts ran in untouched because Jason Kelsey scored that goal yeah it's it's a like the more i'm watching football i'm like oh so these are like the unsung heroes all these guys who do all the horrible work every single down breaking their fingers getting bruised and cut on a related note kyle i want to go so the eagles have this thing called the tush push i don't know if it's still current, but it's like a 92% effective play. When they have a short yardage situation, they all just like rugby push forward,

and the quarterback does a quarterback sneak. Anyway, no one's ever done it this successfully before, and everyone else in the Eagles are not getting the touchdowns that they're almost entitled to. Back in the day, if Barry Sanders ran it 87 yards to the three-yard line, they'd give him three chances to run it the last three. Now, the Eagles just do the push-push to get those last two or three yards and Jalen's getting all the touchdowns when someone else is getting there.

Yeah, it must be Jason Kelsey. He is the center of the push. Jason Kelsey is the reason the reason the tush push is so good so they say yeah i'm not good enough i'm not smart enough at football to know if this is true i looked up a list because i wanted to know who are the best centers in the nfl and it is such a interesting position because so many of them are like this guy i could pass at the grocery store and just be like that's a big dude like but not not think anything of it it's whereas you see like a receiver or someone it's like oh that guy's athletic uh he clearly won very quick receivers in particular like they have jacked biceps, and they're ripped, and they're often like 6'5".

They don't look like regular people. They're perfect specimens. Outrageous. I saw this clip of Randy Moss, and he knows he has his man beat before they even both start running. Just the way that his man, the angle he was taking, he immediately raises his hand, let the QB know,

my man's beat. The run hasn't started yet, really. They're just kind of like, it's that first part, and he burns his, you can see him accelerating and leaving his man behind and just catching the ball,

and it was just, and it was a YouTube short, so you've got, and it's somebody, it's who knows who it is. It's some hype man is what it is. He's like randy knew he had his man beat oh that shit even got off yeah he did he did and it's so cool to see him like throw his hand up and uh like look at this guy's size and be like you can't catch me and just go uh they had the camera right on um the

kelsey brother and uh your qb when that 59 yarder is getting kicked, which is like, man, I'd have my head under a towel. I'd be hiding under a fucking thing. It's so scary. But they both, like, the QB went, he just kind of shook his head no, honestly,

I think. And the Kelsey brother just put his helmet on and begrudgingly started walking toward the field. It was like they wanted to get out of there. Dude, yeah. It's like both of them are upset. Like every win takes them a win deeper in the playoffs

than they have golf tee times coming up. Big Bahamas vacation waiting on them. I saw that. Yeah, yeah. It's fun. I usually don't give a shit about the NFL unless maybe a team I care about. I used to really like Peyton Manning back in the day. I enjoyed him just as a person.

But this year will be fun. I don't see how the NFL can not fix the games. They don't have to, really. But to get the Eagles and the Chiefs in. I feel like if the Eagles went on some losing streak or or whatever they'd be like fix it there's so much money in getting those brothers in the super bowl again i saw a lot of people being like oh look at all these missed calls for the that favor the eagles at the end of the bills game that was a fumble not an uh an incomplete patent it like, I don't know enough to know.

I'm looking at it. I've watched enough football this year to be like, I have no understanding of pass interference. I'll watch one play and a dude will just get butt fucked, like hit before the ball is there. And I'm like, that's gotta be a penalty. You can't just tackle the guy before the ball gets there. But then the cornerback jumps up and the ref seems to clap for him.

And then other times the exact same thing happens. And it's like personal foul, 15 yards. And this doesn't seem consistent. I am so with you on fouls. But it's every sport. Pass interference, I see what clearly looks like interference and they're like no the defender has the same right to the ball as the offenseman i'm like okay if you say so and then i see the play again and like ah he messed with the offender

the offense goodbye i don't know it looked the same to me and like you say uh basketball oh my god i see guys just gather the ball at the three-point line and run all the way to the net and then like lay it in or dunk it and i'm like what did that was a travel no and they're like dad the first step was a gather the second step was allowed the third step is something else and then that was the jump and i'm like i know, man, that seemed like a lot of steps. Like, no, I think that's one,

two, three, four steps. Why does anyone dribble inside the three point line? If the rules are, you could just football it in. Just dribble, dribbling.

It looks like basketball. I've seen a bunch of like really nasty examples of it on Reddit. Of course, they, they pick the worst, but it's like you said, just stop coming to a full stop gathering the ball and taking like a step and then a pivot and then another big step and passing and it's like whoa where are you going what are you doing like my middle school basketball coach would not have allowed this he would have shut me right down i

swear like i would i'd be like working with my pivot foot my pivot foot slides four inches and everyone's like travel these guys are running in for the three-point line what's the difference i remember it being called i remember people getting called for carry like carrying the ball like reaching under it and dribbling like this or dribbling too much from the side of the ball yep yeah and now it looks like you can just straight up hold it like a yeah like in your right upright so that's a rule change and when people look at the terrible quote unquote players in like the 50s and 60s it's like no no you have to remember they were only allowed to dribble the ball from the top those guys could have been much closer to today's players if they had today's rules that makes sense i'm glad you brought that up tangentially

related i think women's mixed martial arts is fucking dead it's fucking oh no it's so fucking bad right now with this sarcasm yeah i mean sassy motherfucker i'm surprised you like it so much. Do you also watch high school sports? Like, like you just know you're like, I mean, I want to watch pro stuff, but I don't want to see the power of the speed.

The entertainment value of a fight is not tightly correlated to the talent level of the fighters. It's it to me. It comes from their heart. So my complaint with women's mixed martial arts is this like call it three years ago it seemed like we had three world beaters at the championship positions you had rose um shevchenko and nunia um holding two belts nunia's holding two belts you know 45 and 35 they're all gone they're all gone and and they're not gone necessarily because bigger and better, crazier martial artists came up.

It was just like they all aged out. Shevchenko's about to defend her belt against that foot girl. Or not defend, but try to get her belt back from the foot girl. We'll see how that goes, but there's nobody that I care about. When I see them fight, it's like none of these girls are as good as Rose was. They're slow and unathletic looking. It's like the heavyweight division is the same way. Once you get past the top

six or seven guys, it's just a bunch of fatties who couldn't cut to where they should be. Yeah. Sometimes that's what the champ looks like. Yeah, sometimes. Well, I mean, he's a fucking All-American champion. Went to the Olympics. What did Cormier

do in the Olympics? Did he get a silver, bronze, or something? I think he got a fourth, but I'm not sure. But, yeah, alright. Let's admit Cormier's a great athlete. But, when you're like a chubby guy that can't make weight, it's kind of on the nose. Yeah, there's a lot of them like that. Yeah. Honestly, like you said,

there should be no limit on heavyweights who's 65 they there shouldn't be a cap heavy everybody is there is there super heavyweight is there something above heavyweight no no they call it they call it super heavyweight but it's almost theoretical there's only a few organizations that even put on those silly fights obviously you had the wings fight right like They call that super heavyweight because technically it is. There's guys like the big boy in Japan that we were joking about the other day who would fight for the first third. Bob Sapp, thank you.

He's like 330 or something. Yeah. A lot of times, if people don't follow UFC closely, the toughest guy on the planet doesn't weigh 265, which is what the weight class stops at he weighs like 240 235 something like that yeah i i wish we would i hope we get to see uh jones come back and do a thing or just retire and let the thing move on but uh you this the

colby covington card that's coming up i can't remember exactly when it is it might be this injury or um i think he tore his shoulder or his or not his shoulder his peck or something i have peck in my head now he was wrestling in in weird angle or something but uh this next card is really fantastic um it's got colby covington taking taking on leon edwards he's been inactive for two years but it's got the fight i'm most interested in that patty pemblitt fight because tony's been training with david goggins and david goggins put him through something he called a hell week and the numbers of like walking lunges and hours on the stairmaster and and the bike are just absurd like he's not gonna have knees when he gets to the ring it's it can't be good i that's that's a lot of people discussing that right now whether this is just gonna burn out a guy like tony like like tony's

issue was never um stamina you know there's no point in doing all this but then people like this is gonna put the fire into tony it's like do you not think he has the fire in him he's scared that's a really good point because like tony's the last guy who needs this you know they're i don't know who needs it really currently but like back in the day bj penn was the big guy right like he was super super talented and then he'd show up to fights barely make weight or not make weight or just conor mcgregor i'd love to see conor mcgregor go through this uh this david goggins stamina course current connor in the steroids is a funny thing though like he looks like a different person with his puffy face and his redness and his like he's on a really high amount his hands look bigger does he he's on hgh for sure and uh i i just i guess

connor beat usada now usada's gone from the u he's going to fight? Well, he's not fighting any sooner than he was under USADA. And he did give multiple samples to USADA. I don't want to ignore what might be a conspiracy that is exactly what you said, but I don't think they're exactly linked together. I think there was a couple things coming to a head. USADA definitely framed it that way, intentionally. but UFC, of course, denies all that. Mixed martial arts is going to be interesting in the next few years because you had that big buyout

of Bellator and the consolidation of all those fighters with the PFL. They might be legitimate competition to the UFC, especially with Ngannou. I think Ngannou's going to draw eyes. I'm probably going to watch Ngannou's next fight. I think it's a mixed rules MMA bout of some kind.

I don't even know. It'll be something interesting because they do weird shit over there. I hate it when there's two fight organizations. I don't think you were really into MMA back when Pride was a big deal. It was always like the best five guys at 170 are in the UFC. The best five guys at 170 are in the UFC.

The best five guys at 205 are in Pride. My guy, Chuck Liddell, I was a UFC guy. They're like, yeah, he'd be fifth if he was in Pride. He sucks. Fedor can beat anyone in the UFC at heavyweight, which might have been true. But at the time, I was like, dude, he's 50 pounds lighter than our heavyweight. So you sure he'd look as good as he was fast in pride he probably would have won but um uh when you have two organizations you don't get the fights you want you know dana for all his faults to me his magic is he gives you

the fights that you want whether they be fucking sean gannon the guy that beat up Kimbo in a locker room. Here's to the UFC. You got to see it. You got to see who's the small professional wrestler. CM Punk. CM Punk. That's what I was going for. But you also get to see the legit fighters go against each other.

Do you want to see Leon versus Colby? He'll make it happen. Do you want to see Colby versus Masvidal? Even though that didn't make a ton of sense rankings-wise, that's a fight you want to see colby versus mass fidel even though that didn't make a ton of sense like rankings wise that's a fight you wanted to see right you get the fights you want to see if suddenly like in ghanu and three other interesting people are in the pfl and you wonder how they do against steepay or whoever you have in the ufc you don't get to see that fight yeah i i don't know i think i think in Ngannou might be the baddest man on the planet, but I think that's an every night thing. It could be different any other night.

Jon Jones is... I'm not going to ever bet against Jon Jones. I don't see how you can. Who's the real baddest man on the planet? That's what we're talking about right now. Is Tony 2012 still around, killing those kids, making them fight? Nah, we got him.

We got him? Joe Biden right now. Joe Biden's the most dangerous. Yeah, you want to talk about the baddest motherfucker on the planet? If an alien came down and you wanted to intimidate him, you wouldn't send Joe to talk, but you'd mention Joe when you did. This is our guy.

You'd mention Joe on everything he could do. I feel like the aliens would land in china i feel i imagine the aliens being like like a hive mind a bunch of you know guys keeping their heads down doing work and they'd be like these chinese they get it i go the other way if i was an alien if i had traveled like whatever 75 billion light years to get here i'm going to vegas right all those lights i mean like you know what these humans are pretty fucking awesome actually yeah they said they're sucking my dick they'd like set their anchor point for humanity at at dubai and then be like man this whole planet

must be full of stuff like this and then they're like oh no there's a whole continent called africa i think i think we would start a war with china before we allowed them to make first contact like if the alien ship parked halfway between us and the moon and there was a quick race to go up there with some ambassadors and shit they were like meet us up here they'll send us that and china was gonna beat us i think we'd shoot their ship down that could be a trick though what if they were trying to goad us into violence and be like, ah, you have revealed your true intention. Now we give our Cosmograve to the Chinese to rule you.

I mean, 100%. There's no way we'd allow the Chinese to be Earth's ambassadors without us right with them. Like, yeah, we'll go together in our car. Halfway there, we kicking out the back door we don't keep him in the mix we have our own asian we just we all right jackie chan i don't know if we what if jackie chan's a dual citizen with china all right pick that actually pick that pick that asian guy we got who was a SEAL, a doctor, and an astronaut. He's going to be the Chinese ambassador. Wink, wink,

nod, nod. See, now we have a plan. That guy could have one more thing on his resume. Really play up the broken English thing. Or with all that talent, dude, with all that talent, that guy must have the interpersonal skills of a baboon.

He insults people unwittingly with his intellect. He rose so high in all those organizations, though. He's got to be the ultimate team player. What if he's the ultimate, like, what if they're like, God damn it, he won't stop talking about his Yu-Gi-Oh! collection, but he's the best cosmic mind on Earth. We have to listen to him. When he starts telling you about his Blue Eyes White Dragon collection,

just nod, and then he'll tell you how to fix the the aperture on the space station oh speaking of uh nothing we're talking about um there's some horrible news coming out of the chicago blackhawks organization for them or hopefully it's bad news or right patrick no onto another team? Well, Patrick Kane, I believe he just signed with the Detroit Red Wings, but he was already off Chicago. He played for the Rangers playoffs last year. Chicago got the new hot draft pick, Conor Bedard,

who's a very, very good player. And apparently, what's normal? Kyle and Woody will know this and i'm sure it's in all sports is sometimes you bring someone in like that who's 18 years old you sign a veteran who's been around the block for a long long time and they signed somebody named cory perry he's 38 39 years old been in the league since you know i think he won a cup his first year of 2007 with the Anaheim Ducks. And so he's been around the block a lot.

Dirty player, does some nasty things, but used to be a very good goal scorer. And last night, rumors came about that Corey Perry had fucked Conor Bedard's mom and that he had sex with the mother of this 18-year- old draft pick. He's still a score. Went five hole on that. And so like last night I was seeing this on Twitter and in my head, I'm like,

there's no fucking way that this happened. And I saw people come out and be like, this is a ridiculous rumor. A lie. Corey Perry did not have sex with Connor Bed bedard's mom because in my head i'm like cory perry's 39 conor bedard's 18 his mom okay cory perry and conor bedard's mom are probably about the same age ish maybe she's a few years older and then today this morning the chicago blackhawks made an announcement that they have please tell me they announced he fucked his mom.

To put these rumors to rest, here's a video that we captured from really deep dick in that bitch. They play the whole slow-chill play when they actually score a goal at home, like the fireworks go off the pyrotechnics. Y'all ready for this he's fucking facial camera cuts to him it's like cut cam they the the chicago blackhawks released a statement just like this morning where they said after an internal investigation the chicago blackhawks have determined that

cory perry has engaged in conduct that is unacceptable and in violation of both the terms of his standard player contract and the Blackhawks internal policies intended to promote professional and safe work environments. As such, Corey Perry has been placed on unconditional waivers in the event Mr. Perry clears waivers. We intend to terminate his contract effective immediately. we intend to terminate his contract effective immediately. And so that has not dispelled these rumors because they have, they have still not come out and said what it was, but I'm starting to think Corey Perry fucked Connor Bedard's mom, which Zach, can we get a picture of Connor Bedard's mom?

If it's out there, throw it up, which if, if the Chicago Blackhawks organization fumbles this and bedard starts to hate them what better mood move rather for conor bedard to get the revenge than to sign with their most hated rival the st louis blues organization so who knows maybe a rivalry if you you should dm i know tell chicago they need to hurry up and get back on our level it's been almost 10 years since they've won a cup yeah so looks like

cory perry may have fucked conor bedard's mom which would big news for cory perry if he did that imagine the hockey player they'd make could be even better than conor bedard because he's that's what he she's already proven to make some really good players. I'm going to give your mom a son who can actually get drafted first round. What if Corey Perry's son, if he has one, is a fucking loser? Sucks. He's in the chest. Your mom's mitt's more worn out than mine. Yeah, so poor Conor Bedard having to deal with these rumors

about his mom fucking Corey Perry. Look at the daughter. She looks just like the mom, too. Yeah, strong genetics. Is the just like the mom too. Yeah. Strong genetics. You get you, you know. Is the mom married? Good looking kids. I have no idea. I didn't look that far into it. I just saw

that there's a potential, you know, brouhaha brewing over at the Chicago organization and that's great. Mr. Bedard's a worse goalkeeper than you? I wonder what the locker room is like. Are they all like telling jokes you know do win five hole on your mom oh not not with no not with this draft pick like the number one overall like supposed to be like probably second he was the number one overall now yeah he's no

he's he's fucking good uh and so they definitely if any coach got wind that Conor Bedard was being bullied in the locker room, they would shut that right down. It's hard to tell the difference between bullying and being a friend sometimes. Like, how do you handle it if your mom's a whore? A? Slutting it up with Corey Perry. She's a fucking hoser. Sucking it up. Maybe like, don't feel bad. It happens to us all. She's a fucking hoser. Sucking it out. Don't feel bad. It happens to us all.

He's fucked all our moms. That's why Corey Perry had to switch to so many teams late in his career. He's just a mom fucker. He's just getting in there. She's like 82. Were they living together? People don't know.

In hockey, I don't know of any other sports, but in hockey, they take these recruits, these super recruits, and they have them live with people. Crosby lived with Mario Lemieux, right? Yeah, they have a boarding family or something to kind of acclimate you. So was he living with this guy? He and his mom moved in, question mark? I don't know.

I wouldn't think so. If Corey Perry is a single guy that would be weird as hell if he's like yeah you and your mom just you know live with me and connor's like you know i was thinking just me he's like yeah yeah you and your mom just you know i got a two-bedroom place right so you know you can have a room and you can have the couch it'll be right here you take the couch and then of course the other bedrooms where i keep my trophies so that's where i keep my stanley for your mom don't worry yeah oh you're still on that entry-level contract well i've made like

100 million dollars in my career do you think that's something your mom might you know like that's something she'd be enticed with? Yeah. So hopefully the inner workings of the Chicago Blackhawks organization are falling apart. I hope Connor Bedard is like, I hate the Chicago Blackhawks. I hate them more than anything in the world. They're selling me out and they're not making the right PR moves to either clear the name of my mother or condemn the behavior of Corey Perry. So that would be good. I guess they did condemn the behavior. They said it was...

What if it's like something totally different? It's like he was gambling on Chicago, and he's like, it's not even fair. I was betting we'd lose and we suck. Like, of course I won the bets. That's not in the Haskins film. So they're going to make the playoffs, but do nothing probably this year?

They're going to have one of those seasons where they will probably make the playoffs and get butt-fucked by the number one seed because they'd sneak in as an eight, or they won't make the playoffs and they'll get a cool 14th overall instead of first, second, or third. So that's aggravating. But all you have to do is make the playoffs, and then a super hot goalie can get you all the way there like that sometimes that can happen yeah how good your goalie uh he is bad

he's not good at all there's a lot of upside is it too late in the year to get a new one uh we no we can still trade for a new goal. It's just our goalie has a no trade clause. And so I doubt he's going to switch. What did you do that for? Well, they did that because he played incredibly in his rookie season and helped the Blues win a cup. And then our GM basically gave him a thank you for doing that contract, which was a five-year-long contract for way more money than he's worth.

And so now everyone's just kind of biding their time until Bennington can go away. What a terrible deal. Not a good deal. Maybe an incentives-based deal would have been. Win another cup, loser. I'd like that. Yeah. I mean, do you believe in yourself, son?

You already won one. You've been here two years. You won a cup. Yeah. You're going to win two or three more before you're done. Tell him that. That's the deal I want to make. He's great in the playoffs.

He's terrible in the regular season. So we'll see. Every single time I'm watching a game, it's either he stops 39 of 40 shots and we win the game because he played, or he lets in five goals on 11 shots and gets pulled, and the whole game is beyond saving there's no middle ground i haven't seen one game this year where he's been a normal average goalie it's just he averages out to an average goalie but there's never average

performances it's just he's a world beater and it's like can you play like a little bit of this goodness when we're not playing columbus and then no you can't can't what did you catch up on invincible have you seen all four episodes i have we're taking a break now we're taking a fucking break four episodes in they're like that's it for 2023 see you in 2024 wait yeah that's the mid-season break four episodes and and i'm gonna be honest. I mentioned two things. The last time I talked about Invincible, I was like, Black Girlfriend sucks. Needs to fuck the pink chick.

I stand by that. However, she sucks way less. Literally after everything I said about her, she corrected in that episode that night. She was like, he's saving the world. It's okay if he's not here with me. I get it. He's got lives to save.

This is what it's like if he's not here with me i get it he's got lives to say like he's what it's like to date a superhero yeah yeah um i really enjoyed the viltrumite fight and that i love the bug sex i loved him like tongue kissing that bug lady which apparently straight out of the comic in the comic exact same like intertwined saliva tongues with a bug person and mark is like the fuck i love mark's reaction to all that and i really like the fight i like the how gruesome their their combat is how he just disemboweled that guy with that that show is not for kids kids i i watched the show with colin right colin i watched together we always have i'm watching it and uh mark who's invincible the main character starts fucking his girlfriend and it's like all right this is a little awkward and then i guess

adam is that the other guy's name he starts fucking his girlfriend they're like all right let's give mark a little privacy let's go over to adam adam's fucking his chick right so they're like oh this is a little awkward let's go back to mark his hands reaching on the nightstand to grab condoms while they're making like boning noises just like hey colin good show how you like it too he's like what's up coming back for a little while and the show is acting like they're accidentally catching these people fucking as if it's not a tv show an animated one like this is the cameras don't get that by accident yeah someone sat down there and filled in the cells on those nipples at the right when they were animating it i like that

show a lot uh i i just want more of it i feel like it's gonna take forever to get anywhere if at this pace uh and that's frustrating but i feel like it's going to take forever to get anywhere if at this pace uh and that's frustrating but i really like the idea eve yeah yeah so if you look on invincible you'll see yeah she has one single episode that i haven't watched yet is it yeah i didn't watch that i think it's just a little bit of expansion into what she was up to like one night or something i i just don't care about her character enough to go look into that. I really like Mark's character and

moreover his dad's character because I'm going to be real. I'd have signed right up with him if my dad was like, Kyle, turns out I'm a superhero from a place. No, I'm a super being from a place called Viltrum and you're a Viltrumite too. And you're adopted.

You don't have any of my magnificent powers, nor my longevity or hyper intelligence or enormous penis. None of that. Yeah, and you certainly got your penis from your mother. Dude, I would be like, alright, Dad, what do we need to do? Do you want me to take Europe?

Can I subjugate South America real quick? Because I'll enjoy that. Yeah. His dad looks like he's about 47, 50, something like that. And, uh,

the way that the rules work for Viltrumites, this isn't exactly right, but it's close. You age normally up until about 18, 20. And then the next year you age half a year the year after that you age a quarter year the year after that you age an eighth of a year you're aging like a 16th of a year in no time his dad is like a thousand years old and he looks like he's in his 40s and uh

obviously he's in super shape he looks like superhero yeah mathematically you may as well be immortal at that point by the time you're like 60 yeah yeah and it's um that that's what you have have you not seen the show not at all it's uh it's he's trying to he reveals to his son that he's the bad guy and that he's here on earth not to defend it but to conquer it for his planet and he's like you're with me right and the like, absolutely not. And they had this big fight where he just starts massacring humans for the fun of it. Not for the fun of it, but to show he's like, these lives are insignificant. They mean nothing. And he like holds Mark by the back of his head as a commuter train runs into him.

And his head is like the in front, like smashing people and blood and guts and gore. Families are just like, like just death and blood and guts and gore of families are just just death and destruction. It's pretty wild. The mom is a human and he's like, what about mom? You're saying humans have no value. He's like, I love

your mom, you know, like a pet. He is Asian. She doesn't even speak English. Your favorite actor He is Asian. Okay. She doesn't even speak English. Your favorite actor, what's his name? J.K. Simmons. J.K. Simmons provides the voice of Mark's father, Omni-Man,

and it's very scary. He's a good voice actor. Tremendous, yeah. It's a good show. I like it a lot. I guess i'll get into the comics or something so i could just because i keep seeing youtube videos that sort of tease um that like oh general greco is actually the most powerful viltrumite he's 8 000 years old and it's like a picture of like this old ancient man flexing hard as fuck i'm like i want to read about greco

you want to read about greco the yeah the fucking general of the Viltrumites. Yeah, I'm going to have to get the comics for sure and read them. Why do you say don't get the comics? Why not? Is that a step too nerdy? Yeah. Yu-Gi-Oh? You've been called too nerdy by a guy who loves Pokemon and Magic the Gathering.

That's true. Come on. Come on now. I've never read a comic book. I read Walking Dead. that's true come on yeah come on now i've never read a comic book i read um walking dead i want it like i got into the show and i was like i need to know more i want to know what happens next tell me about the future comics yeah i'm sure comics are fine it's just that was not a part of my childhood i didn't know anybody who read them growing up and my parents didn't and so i was

just never exposed to comics neither was i um but i i don't I'm hoping that they're not rudimentary comics like I imagine. I'm hoping they're more like, I don't know, graphic novels or something. In any case, I don't know how the story progresses. Like any comic book. What what is it like a 30 minute read? And then it's like, well, I guess similar to like an episode of a TV show. I'm kind of done with this. How long can you look at pictures?

You're going to be flipping pretty quickly. There's words in there. I guess I don't know how many words are in the comments. I don't either. I'm going to find out though. I do like the story. It's good. We've got to do our hangout.

Play some code names with the gentlemen and ladies. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Very good. PKN 484.