Painkiller Already - PKN 488

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

pkn 48 488 yeah numbers are hard 488 how's everyone's christmas season i guess i have to say the whole season because now it's after christmas man the weather's awful so it's been raining for i don't know how many days so i just keep the mop in the kitchen and i mop every three hours because the dogs just track you oh i thought you were doing like some serious procrastinating on like a much needed home repair like oh yeah there's this damn hole and and i've been praying they they keep tracking it in there's no way to stop it because yeah they essentially have doggy doors now so they go out when they want to which is such a much nicer way for me to live my life but that means they're going to track that mud in unless i somehow train them to wipe their feet and And I think I'll learn to mop before they'll learn to wipe their feet.

So that's what we're doing now. They essentially have doggy doors. I got this. I got a doggy door, basically, without going into a long, boring description of what kind of doggy door it is. Got a doggy door. So you modified your door and installed a doggy door on it? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. How do you do that? Do you have to, like, I guess, cut a big hole in the door and then that's it door on it yeah oh yeah how do you do that do you have to like i guess cut a big hole in the door and then that's it no you get a you get a you get a thing that goes in the door frame that's meant to do that uh so you don't ruin an existing door you that was a new door some people in my life thought hey we just ruined the existing door that came with this place right i was like no we buy ruined the existing door that came with this place, right? And I was like, no. We buy our own fucking door and we ruined that one.

And then that way, when it's time to leave this place, they're like, what happened to my door? That looks better now. I improved it. You get much more aerodynamic, your door is. That was a $3,000 family heirloom of a door. There goes your whole security budget. It's great. Your dogs don't have to be asking to go out.

You get to meet fun neighbors from around the forest neighborhood the forest neighborhood oh they're all fenced in now but but so that's the only bad part otherwise it's been fun i got uh my girlfriend got me honestly might be the best gift i've ever gotten uh got me an autographed uh photo of the entire cast of star trek the next generation i saw that it's the photo of them on the bridge of the Enterprise, and then each of them signed their guy. So that was super cool. And I'm so glad it was expensive. I didn't

want to ask, but I know that it's expensive. Ask. And I was so happy that it's the one where you had to be a super nerd, but it doesn't have Tasha Yar, the blonde security chief from season one. It's got Worf up there,

and it's got Wesley. So I would have wanted Wesley to be my extra cast member who signed, not Tasha Yar, who was only there for like a season and a half or some shit. And it's got Whoopi Goldberg on there. She signed. I just love it. I keep looking at it. I keep just, I love it so much.

And then I went and bought her a project for me. I got her a six-week-old Pomeranian that's absolutely beautiful. It is the size of a kitten. It is ounces. It fits in your hand like a baked potato. And it sort of... Oh, I thought he was taking a pregnant pause there for a moment yeah yeah when he first said he got her a project for him i was like a fixer-upper

motorcycle like what did you get her no something much you know well it could be as expensive hopefully not i don't know if you know kyle you froze for us for a moment yeah am i good now yes yeah um what's the dog's name murphy murphy the dog's name is murphy um it is just so itty bitty that i'm i'm genuinely afraid to play with it like i'm like nah wait till he gets bigger i'll fuck with it you ever see somebody a friend family member has a baby an infant and you're like that's too little and precious for me to hold you just hang on to that bad boy i'll smell it from over here or something send me some pictures i don't even want to look too hard at that motherfucker like that's how i feel about this little life that's so he's he's in there right now in his baby bed corralled i just fed him his

it's actual baby food he's so little that you have to feed him like for human babies it's like pureed chicken mush how are the the other dogs acclimating um like an alien has moved into the house they're they're fascinated they're just like the fuck are you how are you man you're so itty bitty so it's been super cute but um i'm not gonna be getting a lot of sleep because I've got a new baby, basically. But I'm glad she likes it. And I love my fucking Star Trek picture. So good Christmas. Good Christmas.

It sounds like a great Christmas. Glad you had it. Do you already have a place picked out for your Star Trek? It's framed. Are you stealing above the bed? Well, it's framed, but it's also got the little picture thing that you can kick out and stick on a desk. So I haven't really decided. Right now, it's just on a table over there there next to me i don't know if i'll put it on the wall somewhere maybe put it up there so i can look at it i don't care if y'all see it

i don't know i'll do something like that yeah that's a good present how about you i like that idea yeah engage when you're when you're fucking you can look at it if you ever are if you wake up from a bad dream and you're like, oh, you're immediately calmed down. I looked at Mr. Worf and I remember the warrior's call and what Kalos would say in a moment like this. And what would he say? Fear not.

The nightmares will fear you when you're a true warrior. That wouldn't help me. I'd want the character to say like like who's the bald one he'd be like it's just hey it's just a dream like that's what he would you'd want counselor troy probably but she's terrible at her job so i would go with wharf every time for advice i think if i was going to the why is she terrible at her job i never thought of her like that uh honestly bad acting and bad writing if we're being honest but um she's just terrible there's just so many examples where she's like well he's crazy and the doctor has to come in or jordy the engineer has to come in and talk

somebody down who's suicidal it's like y'all have a counselor like full time here anyway um it does seem like jordy did more for barkley than Deanna Troy ever did. 100%. 100%. How about you, Woody? Good Christmas? So the microscope gift landed. She liked that. She immediately sucked up some weirdness from the tank, and we saw moving microcrustaceans and stuff like that,

which was the goal. Yeah, that's cool. For me, I get shirts, and i didn't get anything um i don't care i can get anything i want um yeah i don't know it's good you know what the truth is i'm holding it back i just fussed at jackie because the kitchen was too messy it's like the fuck is all this right the counter are a foot messy a fucking foot right like who measures how much fucking clutter is around but by by depth yeah it's actually perfect now after i fussed it is it like paper like piled up paper and stuff uh she had like nutcracker craft projects there was

like a dremel some nutcrackers some like towels and rags and stuff and power tools. There was more than one saw, a chisel, rags. Is he breaking out of prison? What's he doing over there? These are some wild nutcrackers. Well, she made like nutcrackers for, I guess, Hope and her boyfriend and their different heights. She had like a lot of prizes. I thought it was kind of nice.

When you finish it, it looks like the two of them and they're height appropriate and stuff, which is what all the modification was about. She did a great job, but the job's not done until your tools are put away. It is the 26th, baby. These gifts are given. They took them home fair along with uh along with cowboy spurs that was one of those gifts as a kid that i always asked for every year you know

between the ages of seven and maybe 10 or 11 whenever you stop wanting childish things and it was it was the cowboy spurs i was like i don't know why we couldn't manage that and the um I really don't it's like there's no out of them every single year no you never I never received it oh I was I never received my cowboy in my head that this was like a perennial favorite they're like hire another pair of Spurs across his back he's gonna get every year I'd ask for them again I'd ask for the Spurs and they would not show up I'd'd get a bunch of fucking toys and fucking Ghostbuster shit and He-Man swords and whatever the fuck. But I wanted that and I wanted a Nutcracker like you see in cartoons. You know, the big soldier, you pull his head and you crack the nut.

I wanted that for whatever reason. I probably saw some Christmas cartoons. Nope. No. My mom was like, we looked everywhere. Bullshit. I wanted a Nut... It's funny.

I wanted a Nutcracker as a young kid also like four years old and my i think it was my grandma or my mom one of them got one for me and maybe only like a foot tall like a little cheapo wooden ones and i realized as soon as i got it that like i didn't want the nutcracker i wanted the nutcracker that like my grandma had because i wasn't allowed to touch it like i saw adults cracking nuts in there and i'm like look at them i'm four i don't know they're all drunk that's why they're having fun i think i think they're loving the nutcracker and i'm like i really want to do it and it was like taylor you're not allowed to touch this then i got my own

nutcracker realized you know it was a pie in the sky dream from the start especially you know i'm fucking swimming in nutcrackers. I don't know how many nutcrackers there are around here. There's no nuts. You're just stocked with nutcrackers. You don't have a bowl of walnuts. I'm not coming. Mantles have nutcrackers.

I think there's one outside on the front porch. Those are decorative nutcrackers. What would happen if you bent that thing's head? It'd pop right off. Couldn't handle the girth and intensity of a North American walnut. I want a nutcracker that'll take my fingertip off if I get too crazy with it. It's what you need for a walnut. Industrial machinery.

Spring-loaded, piston-activated. I want it to be made by DeWalter Milwaukee. That's a nutcracker. You press a button, and it just... Dropping the 18-volt in there and you can crack nuts all night. Do you even like walnuts no no not enough to crack them open and everything like if you gave me a pile of them and then you roasted them maybe and salted them i'd have a few but i'm not gonna go through a whole fucking thing i liked your preface that if you roast them and salt them i'll have a couple like just

yes thank you for doing that and that'll be it i don't them i'll have a couple like just like yes thank you for doing that and that'll be it i don't know i was a sucker for christmas the checks mix that people would make i had a neighbor that did it it was just i would just eat more than my share that's all eggnog i always get a cup of eggnog like i enjoy the first cup and then that's it i know every year like this is a one cup beverage because after that i start getting grossed out by its consistency and the eggy aftertaste and everything i've never got into eggnog it's all right but i've never craved it it comes from watching christmas vacation every year as a kid and there's a scene toward the end where chevy chase is he's having a meltdown and uh and he's drinking more and he's just scooping the eggnog up sloppily and drinking it out of the fucking antlered cup.

And it's good. It's good. Like mid-mental breakdown, he stops to say that eggnog is good, and I always thought, it does look good. He's not getting his pool, but he's got that eggnog.

That's my favorite Christmas movie while we're on the Christmassy subject. But I want to know if you got anything, Taylor. I want to know how your holiday was. How Kwanzaa was this year. Love Kwanzaa. I know you're celebrating Hanukkah in solidarity with Israel. You see, I play up.

It's all about the amount of days covered and the amount of presents you can acquire. And so this year, you know, Hanukkah is forever green for me. I'm Jewish earlier in the season every year because I want those presents. L'chaim! L'chaim! I start, like, sending, like, I grow those goofy-ass sideburns out all year

just to maybe get some extra presents. I got a lot of clothes, but that's, like, what I ask for now. Where I'm like, like, my grandma will ask like you know there's got to be something you want and i'm just thinking like i don't know like oh these like patagonia pullovers these rock these are great just give me like a couple of those and like other than that just assorted clothes little you know knickknacks here and there like an explorer when you wear those huh you feel like you're like i like when you wear one of those, you put that

Patagonia pullover on, right? You put on some outdoorsy footwear and some black pants, and all of a sudden you're halfway to being a secret service man or something, like a secret agent. Yeah, and sunglasses. Put my contacts in, put some sunglasses on, maybe like a hat, a forward,

a brand new looking hat. I feel like feds often wear those yeah it'd be good yeah pretty much just clothes this season and then a couple i think my brother got me a board game that should be fun try that out i'm big on board games so i when i get those as a present i'm like oh neat this should hours of fun i got recommended a video totally off topic kind of but this it was a youtuber who created his own world war one board game. And he was wanting like funding, whatever.

And he's like, I just need a hundred funders, but he was showing the game. And I was like, man, you must've put so much of your life into this. Cause he's made a game board and pieces and rule books. And like,

it's there. He just needs to mass produce it. I ain't giving him any money. I went back to that dog channel, gave them some money. Holiday dogs are even more pitiful. That's the saddest dog of the year. You couldn't donate to the World War I board game guy?

That game cost him $20,000 and his wife and children in order to finish that. I'm staying at my mother's and then taking the kids. And it's like two hours later, he's like, what? I'm almost done with Poland. Please, I'll figure it out. That would fun i'd play a war a war board game i like anything world war one though i i like the uh i don't know i guess i have a i like i like the weapons of that war and how they did change like rapidly it's a part so this this russian ukraine conflict they're mostly doing the same thing now as they

were doing last month i i'm sorry i it's been really in the last week yeah russian planes are dropping the fuck out of the sky and people don't know why they've lost like seven fighters and bombers in the last five days which apparently is a lot i don't really have a good scope on these things and uh i watched a youtuber who seemed to know what he was talking about. Explain. Now, American Patriot systems have a really long range, but I guess the radars don't.

And one theory is that they have radars close to the front line, identifying the helicopters and planes that are like 50 kilometers, call it 30 miles behind the front lines. So they, they go like 30 miles away. They drop these glide bombs. They're not super accurate, but they're a big problem because they're big and strong.

And they've been terrorizing the Ukrainians for a year. Okay. Well, just in the last week, all these helicopters and I don't know my jets that well, SU 23s or whatever,-35s everything they have is just dropping out of the fucking sky so one theory is that they've decoupled the American radars from the Patriot systems and they have the missiles far behind the front lines and the

radars up near the front lines hidden in postal trucks who knows what and that is how they're like detecting them but able to shoot from far away another is that our f-16s have been delivered because they're either about to be or they just have i don't know and um they're just knocking this russian shit out from like beyond visual range nowadays the trick to winning air wars is being the first person having the the longer range to kill the other guy right it's not like top does that make sense the f-16 is like the dog fighter that's the one that would want to get in close and get sloppy um i don't know i don't according to the guy on youtube he was like if the s-16s did get here this is what it would

be like russians would just stop start falling out of the sky and we've got f-16s and they don't really know what's shooting them down they just know that they're getting shot down so they're all getting blown up in the sky when you said falling out of the sky i'm like what's going on is there like a production so they don't know what weapons the ukrainians are using which is why i phrased it that way yeah but uh and maybe it's just storytelling but uh but yeah so the either our patriot systems they found a more effective way to protect the ukrainian front lines without putting them at risk or f-16s are here and they're just establishing air superiority while pretending they're not how many planes like have been lost the whole conflict a lot prior to this

week they don't they part of this week they've been knocking out planes while they're on the ground you know like they have a few like they go to the airports and like we got 12 in one kill in one night and then a month goes by without another kill now the russians are becoming afraid to use their helicopters and planes because no one quite knows how the Ukrainians are doing this, at least based on YouTube videos, which is a terrible source. But that's what I got. Yeah, I haven't been following it too much. It's probably I did read a headline. The headline said Putin signals he may be open to ceasefire talks or something like that.

I didn't look into it at all. I didn't care because I know Zelensky's not... Zelensky's the one who's not open for peace talks. He's won all of his land back. I think Putin has tried a few times for that. I don't think so. I haven't heard anything like that. Oh, I'm sure Putin would probably be okay just taking

everything he has and waiting a minute, building his forces up on the border. We've played Civ V before. Sometimes when someone offers you peace, it's like, don't accept, don't accept! Because now they're free to walk straight up to your borders and build up en masse, and you have to sit on the other side of the border

and be like, that's a lot of stuff you're piling up there. What do you need all that ammo for, guys? We're friends, right? Yeah, the Americans are like, nothing. We're just building forts. That was exactly right. And it's not that ammo for, guys. We're friends, right? Yeah, the Americans are like nothing. We're just building forts. That was exactly right. And it's not that hypothetical either because they did it with Crimea. They took over Crimea.

Then they all agreed to sort of stop there and have peace. They built up. Tack again. Now they're taking over the Donbass region. And if you think that this time the peace is for real and that it's going to be cool you're probably gullible my youtube recommendations are so silly i got this i keep getting these

farmers recommended to me i can't they got i think they got like a farm podcast you know overalls and shit and they're like real deal farmers like maybe a million acres each or something oh they got these huge industrial midwestern farms. The one guy's like, I thought I'd seen it all until I went to Ukraine. I thought, oh shit, a war video. I was looking for farming. They farm on a 10,000 acre field. Biggest fields we got here. 500, maybe 1,000.

10,000. 50,000 acre fields. As far as I can see. That's industrial farming right there. They're just really jerking the Ukrainians off for their farm yeah that would be the best podcast ever he's like and i show up there and boy hoot nanny there's something going on i don't know what's happening people love to farm but there's a lot of crop dusters there they i see the plays coming by stuff coming down i don't know can i tell you they're burning their

crops their fields way out of season no so I don't know what's true I can't tell I only know what they tell me but uh apparently Ukrainian soil is like super duper fertile some of the best soil on the entire planet in this like the part they're actively fighting on now which is why all winter it's just like a guaranteed stalemate because the soil is so like topsoil muddy that low heavy equipment can't go anywhere. It Lumi means Sandy. Isn't that? So I, I dirt bike and Lumi stuff and it's a joy when it's Lomi.

I thought it was Lomi. I think it's L O a M Y. It's very possible. I don't know what I'm talking about, but I do know if I dirt bike in the Sandy mud, it's very possible i don't know what i'm talking about but i do know if i dirt bike in the sandy mud it's fine if i dirt bike in the clay mud it's terrible it makes sense and then you never get out yeah it's another bad idea to nuke you don't want to nuke that region because then you fuck up all you can fuck up all the grow area like the whole point is the soil right oh yeah just like that big part of Japan that people can't go to

they just live there they just went back they went back like immediately is it noticeable that nukes aren't as dangerous as they tell us well first of all Nagasaki and Hiroshima those are real biggins and they like didn't people start living in

they started rebuilding right away because it doesn't kaki and hiroshima those are real biggins and they like didn't people start living in like they started rebuilding right away because because it doesn't leave like it doesn't irradiate the area forever that's not a thing that the reason they had that even in ukraine when they had the meltdown and all that material got like thrown up in the air you know they're they're still up there now are those soldiers those russian soldiers got sick, when they dug trenches in that zone? Because the radiation is still in the soil, but it's down in the soil. And that's because it was a meltdown.

But when there's a bomb going off, I think the idea is most of the radiation is getting spent and in that big pulse initially, and then there's not that whole... I thought that there was like a... I guess I don't understand how long it takes the poison to go away from nukes. Because that's what I think.

Because Chernobyl, it seems like, it's like, oh my god, there's something the size of a lipstick container that has a sign on there that's like, put this down if you pick it up, because it's going to fuck your ass up. The explosion at Chernobyl wasn't nuclear. So the explosion was, the explosion didn't have anything to do necessarily with it being nuclear. It wasn't a nuclear explosion,

it was a steam explosion, right? It built up pressure until the roof came off. It wasn't a nuclear explosion. It was a steam explosion, right? It built up pressure until the roof came off. It was nuclear, like radioactive material. But a fire started, and it's burning continuously, and it's releasing it straight up into the air to be blown across Europe, right? Whereas when that bomb goes off, it's like boom, and everything's done.

It's the difference between a tire fire and a cherry bomb. But a bomb is just spreading it all out like that immediately. It doesn't even need to go in the air. It's using it. The radioactive material is the fuel. It's being used up. I don't know. I feel like they've said bomb goes off, it's like this area

wouldn't be inhabitable for 80 years. Shit like that. 80? Or maybe longer. The half-life of this is 100,000. So we need to wait like, I don't know, 500,000 years for it to be safe. If they seeded one of the bombs with one of those long half-life scary isotopes, they could ruin the Earth for 1,000 years if they wanted to. But no one would build a weapon like that because that's like a James Bond villain doomsday device.

You do the focus thing. I just don't understand why a bomb would be like, alright, three days later you're building arches back up and stuff. Because they burn up all the radioactive stuff. Get the hell out of here. This is the first time I've heard that, which doesn't mean it's wrong. I don't know

anything about this, but Kyle's pitching the idea that bombs are kind of safer because all the energy gets burnt. We used bombs. And it not works? Before the test treaty, the Russians in particular

had this whole division that it used nuclear weapons for industrial purposes. So mining, making canals and stuff like that. And they were they were playing. OK, we'll need 120 thermonuclear weapons to make this canal. There's plans like that.

And they're clearly planning to go right in there afterwards and, you know, move. If you're mining, if you were mining with it, all that nuclear shit is just going to be wherever you were mining. Largely, they're going to dig it all up, though that what i'm getting at is those weapons don't poison the ground if if a lot of fallout has grown up into the atmosphere that's radioactive itself then that's a thing but when the when the bombs go off that they're not poisoning it plus modern nuclear weapons are airburst weapons right it blows up in the air way above the target sounds like it's one of god's great mysteries.

Yeah, this doesn't jive with what I learned from apocalypse TV shows. I'm coming down on side team Woody here. Because it just doesn't make sense that the bomb would be like, but the bomb gets rid of the badness. Kyle, what is that TV show we watched with the towers? Oh, Silo. Silo. Yeah, yeah. What you're saying and what I learned from Silo, don't jive at all. We don't know what's going on. I haven't read the books. I know it's

radiation outside, though. Uh-uh. That's never implied. It's not radioactive. It's like the air is poison. It's's not radioactive it's like the the air is poison it's like it's toxic up there it was because it was keeping it was having the airtight seal oh yeah lost interest in that yes i i think i ditched out a few episodes before you guys it's tremendous it's tremendous oh i thought that was the one that i'm so excited for the

new one that you said sucked after a while i must be mixing it up Oh toxic air You're right it doesn't say radiation I think I just projected that Yeah I mean you know it's kind of Nebulous for a while it's just bad Stuff's out there that kills you is enough To know I've got a new show though That I highly recommend

I tried to watch it years ago but I was So upset it's Sherlock So Sherlock from BBC has Benedict Cumberbatch And Doctor Strange to watch it years ago but i was so upset it's sherlock so sherlock from bbc has benedict cumberbatch um and dr strange and it has uh bilbo baggins whose name's escaping me right now that little fella uh also from fargo uh mr nygaard and yeah yeah and um so there's sherlock holmes and dr john watson and i i remember when I first heard about this, I was like, oh my God, I can't wait. I like turned it on and it's set in like the year 2012 or 2015. And I'm so pissed off immediately. I wanted pipe smoking, oil lamps on the street.

No DNA evidence at all. Yes, exactly. Sherlock Holmes in the world of DNA evidence is just not that impressive. You might think that, but it's tremendous. So it's on our plex. I guess most workers get away with it. It's on our plex. The first season has three episodes, and I was so bummed.

But the third episode's an hour and a half fucking movie. So it works out just fine. I really recommend it. Watson comes back from Afghanistan. He's got a little PTSD going on. He was a soldier there. He was a comes back from Afghanistan. He's got a little PTSD going on. He was a soldier there. He was a doctor soldier in Afghanistan. Sherlock Holmes,

played by Benedict Cumberbatch, is an actual psychopath who does it for fun. He seems to be somewhat independently wealthy, and he's a detective for fun. He's not employed by the police department. He's a consultant that they despise having to go to.

Isn't that the original Sherlock Holmes story? But he's not a scumbag. He shows up and he realizes right away that one of the police officers stayed over at one of the cops' house last night and sucked his dick just by looking at their clothes

and smelling them both. And he says it out loud for everyone to hear. And I know because I was also that. Sucking their dicks and getting fucked. I really enjoy... Were they a boy and girl or both boys? Yeah. Yeah, but he's married or something like that. He's like, your wife's out of town? He's like, how would you

know that my wife's out of town? He's like, because she's wearing your deodorant and her knees are scuffed. Knees are scuffed. Knees are scuffed. Like sucking his dick. Rubbing her around. No, you have to blow me on the hardwood. You're going to wear sometimes.

Sometimes when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much. He gets to blow in her mouth. Yeah, but that's really good. I highly recommend it. I do admit that when you started describing Watson as an Afghanistan afghanistan veteran i was like that's i don't like that i do prefer him as like 1860s kind of guy but it's bilbo so you love him immediately martin short is that his name martin short thank you yeah i'll never forget because he is short uh and you play short characters he does it's martin short's charming. He's such a good actor.

He keeps getting in this mysterious limo, keeps pulling up for him to get into and give him clues or whatever. And there's a beautiful woman who's like the middle man between him and a mysterious character. And he keeps flirting with her and she just ignores him like flat out.

Like won't he? She doesn't turn him down as much as she suggests that she barely notices he exists. And he just keeps going, huh, and getting out of the car. And it's just, I love it. I love it. I'm excited to watch more of that show.

Because they keep getting, people keep suggesting that they're gay. And they'd be like, no, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? Because they're these two young guys living together, doing mystery stuff at night. This new fucking Sherlock Holmes sucks. Just accuses everyone of being a homosexual. No, they accuse him of being gay.

Even his landlady, she's like, we have all sorts here, no worries, love. And is he very obviously gay? He's not gay. It's just that him and Martin Short live together in this little apartment over this lady's house, and they're always hanging out together and hugging. Yeah, he's just an

independently wealthy sleuthsman who lives with his adult friend, who is single. I like, there was a part where he didn't know. They didn't go out at night. Yeah. Sherlock, we need you to solve the mystery of Lindsey Graham's weekend.

It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out Sherlock Holmes' day. Oh, and they have a really fun effect to kind of sort of show you the inner workings of his mind. As the camera pans over evidence, you'll get flashes of words that are coming to him. And it's a little like when we play code word, code names or whatever. Yeah. I'm like, like yeah that's what i'm doing too while i look at this lady has like carved a half of a message with blood with her finger and you know me and the writers of the tv show are simultaneously like hmm what was she

trying to write and at first he goes it's r-a-c-h and he goes german for revenge no she was going for rachel and then he like deduces this whole thing. It's good. It's the part of Reacher I don't like because he goes through the trouble of explaining how he came to those conclusions. Okay. No, Reacher has no time for anything but ass-kicking.

That's not true. You would think. No, I'm teasing you. That's one show that I've actually watched. Can I say I've almost given up? I've almost given up on Reacher season two, episode one. Okay. Like, already.

First of all, I love season one of Reacher. I like that black detective. I wanted him to stick around. Didn't care for him. Black detective? Oh, yeah. I like Reacher. Oh, of course he does.

I like Reacher. But season two, they gave him, like him a whole diverse cast of sidekicks to do all of his thinking for him. And I just can't. I don't want to see that. I want to see Reacher going out and doing things. He does have too many friends now. He's got so many brown friends.

So you're current on season two also? Are we all current? I've seen one episode. I think I've seen two episodes of season two. It is. I'm current. So yeah, apparently it seems like people are picking off members of the special investigators and he and the people around are trying to figure out who's doing it.

And Reacher's... I have a problem with the unrealistic plot devices they use. I guess, for example, six guys on motorcycles go to take on Reacher, right? Reacher and his crew are all strapped with guns and such. But the motorcycle guys have guns. And all the fucking military badasses are like, well,

they told us to give up our guns. So here they are. And then now that the motorcycle riders are the only people with guns, they decide to put the guns away and break out knives because they have to be quiet. So now we're getting into a big fist fight with Reacher and his friends from the three berets. And I'm like,

what is happening? This is the dumbest thing ever yeah man everyone had guns like 20 minutes ago like so they get into a big fist fight and you'll be surprised to learn reacher does quite well and uh dominates those yeah that's his that's his thing but it's so much of like ridiculous decisions or decisions that no reasonable person would be able to arrive at. Like the password guessing happens in the first episode. This guy's all about respect.

What does respect mean? This, that guy. Who does he like? And then, surprise, the password's breacher. He didn't even put a fucking semicolon in there. What are you doing? This guy is brilliant. It'll be your name, all lowercase.

I mean, that would have worked. That would have worked. He wrote it just like it appears in the men's driver's license. You know, they ask you that. Is that how it appears on your car? He was part of our super secret team. Our super secret team. We were always traveling around the world.

Traveling. Hotels. What are you in a hotel always traveling around the world. Traveling. Hotels. What are you in a hotel? You're a guest. Try guest. Wait, that's the login, not the password. What are we looking for? It's all so simple. It's a password. Try password. There's a couple of those where they're like, okay, let's get into deduce mode. And of course

every idea they have is right and they arrive at it it's it's too much batman's not that clever yeah yeah i i hate that shit i i do love it with sherlock though because they go out of their way to be like this guy can't really function all he can do is figure out puzzles like he's he's he's not all there the sherlock character he's there's a lot of things he's ignorant about that are basic, and he's just an odd character. Psyche does that in a way that I can... I don't know if you've ever seen Psyche. It's a comedy detective show. I'm aware of it. Well, anyway, this guy pretends to be a psychic,

but in reality, he's just hyper-observant, kind of Sherlock Holmes-y. So as he goes through the episode, he's like, all right, I think I'm getting something. And they have a nice visual effect where like, I don't know, there'll be a scarf on the ground and they make it sort of pulse, you know, with maybe a white outline or something. Yeah. It tells me a normal person that I should pay extra attention to this scarf. And then later in the big reveal, that will be a clue that helped him with something that I can kind of get on board with because it's like, uh,

what's the Bruce Willis film where six cents were at the end. You realize the clues were there the whole time, but you just didn't know. At least I didn't notice them. Yeah. That's what happens in psych. All the tools were there in Reacher. The tools are not there. He's just

pulling shit out of his ass. Lazy writing. Always right. It's lazy writing. I don't know. I like season one. It's whatever. The Sherlock Holmes show is really well made. BBC shows often are. Where are you watching it? On our Plex.

Yeah. You're not still excited for georgia and the orange bowl i'm not gonna watch that you're not gonna even watch oh they're gonna dominate i was talking to a guy about that game i guess they're playing florida state yeah and florida state has like i guess two issues one they want to leave the ACC. They're not getting the money. There's seven schools in the ACC. They call them the Magnificent Seven, and they all want to leave. What happens is the revenue sharing in the ACC is even and kind of fair,

but not equitable because there's schools like Clemson and Florida State, NC State, Magnificent Seven, who are like the makers. Who's the odd man out? There's some other schools that are the takers, and the makers are like, this is bullshit. We're getting robbed. We're funding these lesser schools. And bottom line, the Florida State starters are not going to play in that game.

They're going to the pros instead, and they're going to get their asses kicked by Georgia. They will. But, I mean, I guess a lot of Georgia State is probably're going to the pros instead and they're going to get their asses kicked by georgia they will but i mean i guess a lot of georgia's probably also going to go i was watching just on tv over the christmas or i guess last night uh philadelphia versus whoever the hell and it was like yeah the giants and it was so common that they're like so and so on the eagles first year out of georgia Georgia. I guess there's multiple people on... It's a large part of the team. Yeah. Just next man up.

Old dog way. We started with a great record. I don't know exactly. Maybe we're like 10-1, something like that. Now we're like 11-3. Or 11-4. All you have to do is... Doesn't people have a ton of upsets every playoff? Playoffs just started, right?

No, they haven't started yet. I mean, it's like time now. The season just ended. Now it's playoff time, right? No, there's a couple more games. Maybe two more games. There's 17 games now in a season. So two more.

It's 17 weeks, 16 games. Am I crazy? Oh, I thought they added an extra game. Zach, help me. 17 games, I think, is what it is. I think 16 games, 17 weeks, 16 games. Am I crazy? Oh, I thought they added an extra game. Zach, help me. 17 games, I think, is what it is. I think 16 games, 17 weeks. 17 games. 17 games.

Holy shit. Zach says 17 games. That'd be a good trivia question. What a shame. They should do 17 games in 16 weeks, and one of them is just called Hell Week. No bye. He's going to double. You make it like a thursday monday yeah or sunday thursday sunday you have two days monday oh that'd be worse 17 games and 18 city struggling lately yeah as long as you they make the playoffs

i don't really think it matters but i haven't made it yet yeah that's true and there's probably like every sport oh my god i'm glad you brought the championship hangovers the falcons were like finessed themselves all right so i could be wrong about this but i think the falcons were in a three-way tie for first place in the nfc south or east or whatever the fuck they are and uh i think they were like seven and eight like three teams were seven and eight were like seven and eight. Like three teams were seven and eight, roughly. They're currently seven and eight. It was something like, yeah. So they went in a three-way tie with the Bucks and the Saints

to play, guess who, the Panthers. This is their moment. The one and 12 Panthers, I might add. Can you guess what happened? They lost to the Panthers. And that was their time to slide up, take first place in the division for themselves and actually get into the playoffs with their horseshit team.

Oh, fuck them. Detroit Pistons basketball team. One of the worst teams in the history of the sport, and it's happening now this year. I think if they they're on a... If they're not on a 23-game losing streak, it might be 25. But, like, something like that. I think they just set the record for the longest losing streak in the history of basketball.

And they were going up against the Spurs, another team that's dreadful this year. I don't know the record, but call it, like, 4-20. You know, record, but call it like four and 20, you know, like bad. And the Spurs are missing like five starters, seven starters. So it's like, all right, Detroit,

this is your chance. They're four and 24. And they lost that game too. They lost against the Spurs backups. They're four and 24. Sometimes backups in any professional sport, like they're playing for the rest of their life and so they're like leaving every bit of everything on the ice or court or whatever

i in hockey whenever they would call some guy up i'm like that guy is going to be better than you expect yeah you're going to get the best version of him you'll ever see whereas some nine-year vet maybe just doesn't yeah on the second year of an eight-year contract that everyone's already betting is going to be like all right i'll kind of glide he's thinking about video games after the after the game that was a serious problem for this one player his name was patrick liney he's like the six foot five swede who was supposed to be like the next ovechkin goal scorer still a good player but not that level even close and it was like the first two years of his professional career he was like i believe formally reprimanded by his coach for like not trying hard enough because he

was like addicted to like overwatch or fortnight or something like that and so people found out his name on like through some social media post someone else posted. And so there would be updates, or it'd be like, Winnipeg Jets lose 7-0. Patrick Laine records zero points. But guess what he did record after the game? Nine hours of Fortnite.

If I'm the Winnipeg Jets, I hire... Not hire. I fire... Not fire. I hire... Who's the streamer who's a very good CSGO player, very popular? He's talented at every video game. Starts with an S. Shroud?

Shroud. That's what I'm going for. I couldn't get my head off Scum. But yeah, I would hire Shroud to ruin his gaming experience. The stream snipe him until he quits and scores goals. Yeah, this guy guy he's addicted to fortnite and it's costable he we pay him see we pay him 10 and a half million a year so we really need him to he's had the game here your quarter million shroud will ruin his night yeah

oh that uh that tarkov arena is actually pretty fun you're liking it yeah yeah it's i mean they're going to change like what i'm playing right now won't be like the experience. I don't think. I think they'll update it and fix it. This seems clearly like some kind of a test for the servers. There's numbers assigned to each kit, but they're not utilized in matchmaking or balancing in any way. So clearly there's an idea there that's just not being done yet.

But the way it works right now is, oh my God, when I start a game, I look around at my teammate i'm like all right we got some good shit good you got a good gun you got good you got a helmet fuck yeah everybody's got a headset we're good we're good but sometimes it's bad it the other team will all have altums and nobody on my team but me even has a bullet that can penetrate it they'll have s your tier one kit is an sks with us ammo so that doesn't penetrate level two can you change how often can you change kits like it oh so let's say i don't have any great kits but i don't i do know the shotgun to the leg meta and if i see you walking in with altins i might try that i mean

all right so the way it works is you you pick a um there's like Assault, CQB, Marksman, there's categories like that that contain those kind of weapons. So you click that, so you go to that category, and there's maybe four to choose from, four different weapons, but they each have a tree that goes down from them. And the XP that you're putting on, say, the Keter gets applied to the things right below the Keter, but nothing to the left of the Keter or to the right of the Keter. So it's a real waste of time to be bouncing around and trying lots of things. So everybody just beelines down one tree because they get better as you go. A tier two gun, so much better. Not just the gun, you get better meds.

It's tier two meds, tier two armor, and then on and on and on and on. So, no, there's just no answer for the whole thing. Do people just ignore the rest tier two armor and then on and on and on and on so no there's just no answer for people just ignore the rest of the tree and focus on a branch so much so that's yeah so much so that streamers are buying second and third and fourth accounts because you have an elo in this game my elo is high enough that i get thrown in with level three and level four kits consistently every game and someone like, his is so high that he will get nothing but level 4, 5, and 6 kits against him.

So he just bought a new copy of the game so he can start off with a 0 elo and go down the Assault Tree path or the SMG path or something like that and not have to go in. Because he just doesn't want to get buttfucked with one of his tools. Yeah, the game's set up

so that you just get butt fucked when they show up with actual helmets and actual armor you've got to shoot him 15 fuck I've got I've gotten 12 and 14 hits and not gotten the kill on people with just slicks you know people run around with slicks and you don't have AP it's real it's real there's ammo on balance that doesn't penetrate at all

there's a really terrible helmet I forget the name of it but it's a motorcycle helmet or a football helmet in the game and i saw a scab who was glitched in front of the gas station on customs i shot him in the head he wasn't moving so they were all hits good 20 21 times in a row and i couldn't get through that worthless helmet it's like wow some ammo is so bad it like there's no way you could hit it i couldn't get through that worthless helmet. It's like, wow, some ammo is so bad. There's no way you could hit it. I couldn't get that many hits if the scab wasn't glitched. But yeah, you need good ammo or the armor is just overpowered.

But I'm really enjoying it, especially if I've got somebody online to play with. I've mostly been playing solo. But whenever I've got a friend or two to play with, it's been really fun. Is Larry playing? No, he's playing Halo or something. He's building dorms from Tarkov in Halo. Why? I don't ask. Yeah, he's like in Halo Forge or something,

building a Tarkov map in Halo. I watched him in there the other day. I was just like, could just play Tarkov. You know, this map exists, right? He's going to play the real one. Are you codenamed practiced in a while?

I haven't played a single match. I play on my phone sometimes, but by play, I mean I open boards and I think through them. But no, haven't played i haven't played since we played i'm excited to play tonight hopefully well people really want to now so i know we'll end up playing that's always so fun the little bits of drama the game itself is wonderful but i enjoy the the bickering the fighting especially if it's an early game in the session and someone on Kyle's team is having a rough go of it.

That's fun to watch. It could be very upsetting. It could be very upsetting. I don't want to play a game if we're not going to try to win. It's the only way I know how to play. I can't be, I can't, look, I don't care how it goes. Let's all be silly no we're trying to win yeah we're trying you can be a bit silly it's not that they're

we can be silly when we win yeah okay i don't have people not trying to win but i do remember i mean i've given a bad clue i can think of one i think i gave clue food and there were like four food items on there and i'm like oh i nailed it and then i was just blind i was so excited about her honey egg was on there and in my mind that didn't register as something you might eat sometimes you just get clue blind and you can just hire a good one out and then you immediately like you'll hear them be like okay peaches for sure and you're like fuck as annoyed as annoyed as i can get with our group sometimes or whatever i watched youtubers uh like a youtube video of people playing code names and they were serious they had team names and shit they're like the blues crew take on the the jimmy john boys and they are so bad that you can't watch it for

entertainment purposes really you're like you're like accordion for three you fool you fool you can't watch it they're so bad they're just doing two work lots of ones ones are so are they doing two player, three player? Like how many? Yeah, yeah, it's usually two or three players. Any three of us in James,

we could run the board. So if people don't know code names, I think everyone who watches this does now at this point, but there's a board full of words and you need to give a clue that lets them pick words without getting the wrong words. And sometimes like sailboat, ocean and sea will be on there so if you just say water then people maybe don't know which one you mean and then

you have to prioritize the stack rank it is really easy to get ones ones are slam dunk twos are layup you know not that i make every layup i take but usually i can get two every time yeah uh three actually kind of not that normal for me. Three is like the high side of what you'd expect. And a lot of times when people choose a three, it's a stretch, you know, like whatever it'll be like ocean sea. And I don't know, fucking pill. And there'll be like, you take a pill with water what how stupid can you

be and it's like no no no fuck you that was the fact that you wanted me to make that leap there are seven more things on this board that have that looser grip to water yeah just take the easy two in that circumstance clue giver i wash a dish with water was I supposed to choose dish I clean my hair with water was I chose to use hairline like like yeah the pill water not good clues and you expect me to make that link and not the other links it's really you who made this my one of my favorite parts is like when a new person jumps in as a clue master and they fire out turn one like orangutan five and I'm in the first thing first thing you see when you see a big word like the five you're like whoa everybody's like this guy consummate professional like

like 10 seconds will pass and they're like i don't even see one for orangutan what does he think he's doing here this fucking dude ring out all right monkey all right and then like afterward it'll be like but it's an ape not a monkey and so i meant this that this that and this but not monkey that's annoying sometimes when they want you to stretch in one direction for a word and i do this it's so easy to give a bad clue all it takes is one one little second of overlap or overthinking or underthinking you're like oh damn oh, damn, I made an ass of myself. Because after you've done it, you're like, oh, these words have been here the whole game. There's no excuse.

They didn't switch this up on me. Egg is food? Why wasn't I told? Yeah. All word games are fun. Word association games, word vocab games, I guess. I like the psychology of it a lot and you watch different people like some people think that they do no wrong and the guessers are all stupid

i go the other way like i i take all the blame on myself when maybe like they should have got that i don't know but to me it's the clue givers job to know his guessers yeah yeah I mean it's a it's a bad craftsman who blames his tools yeah yeah yeah if you're assigned to those tools by random chance a broken screwdriver

determine how each of us craftsmen if my guesser is stupid I'm not gonna use a clue like bipedal determine how each of us are craftsmen. If my guesser is stupid, I'm not going to use a clue like bipedal. That's not going to work out. I can't win a game if he doesn't know what that word means. Yeah.

There's a couple times where Kyle will shoot out a word that I don't think is very difficult, and then someone on his team mispronounces it, and I'll be like, no one on on blue team say anything don't even be a false clue because you'll help them narrow it down my favorite is figure when i'm trying to get you to pitch use figure off the board out there and i'll say like number and i'm like i don't know i don't know i I guess like numbers or figures, but it can't be that.

Maybe burrito. And it's happened like twice. It's happened like twice. Burrito's better than your figure. Figure and run. And so I'll even slide in like chubby or something to make you think of like a lady's figure or whatever. And then there's still like burritos make you fat. Yeah, yeah. Well, chubby and burritos they're still like burritos make you fat sometimes it's just this person on the team who's guesting on your behalf won't shut up and then i don't remember who it is it's a couple guys who often will be like do you think it could

be data and it's like the answer will be data and someone will just blast past and be like i'm thinking you know loch ness it's a monster how many are them one number one you know the smartest person the loudest person are rarely the same person and i'm i'm talking about how dumb everyone is but then a common move for me like taylor be on the other team and i'll be like hey taylor just for a second don't lie to me um is that how you spell resign and i know no no he's never lied to me yet i don't know i'm an honorable honorable player no z i will lie like as a troll and like try and lead people the wrong way. I feel like I'm I get people pretty often with that. And I, man, I shouldn't reveal the hand.

But when Kyle's getting very clearly exasperated, muted and like like behind the doors of it. And even if I don't know what Kyle's clue is, it'll be like for three. And they'll like have none of them. And they'll be like, I don't know. Kyle's just a fucking bad clue giver. And I'm like, I can't let Kyle think that his clue is bad. I need to keep him on this same track. It's not working for them. And I'll be like, you guys are retarded. I know

all three of them. This is easy. Just to throw that out there. And then I know Kyle's sitting there like, see? See? Taylor knows. And often I do know what you're angling. Dude, it's fun. People are sending me messages like, we know, Kyle. We know.

They're sending me messages of what the answers are. It's upsetting. See, I keep saying it'll be fun when we pick teams and we play a bracket. Because right now we're like, hey, let's play baseball. Sure, sure. Do we want to pick teams like kickball? Nah, let's just flip a quarter. I got little Mo

with the gimpy leg, though. Sometimes that randomize button makes a fucking Globetrotters general situation. There's been plenty of times where somebody goes, hit it again. Or again, like... So the way that I...

There's the clue giver. I think he's called the Spymaster. so the way that i there's the um the clue giver i think he's called the spy master yeah and uh uh the way that i do spy master is i will be my team spy master if none of the paying customers want to be that like all right i'll i'll jump in and i'll do it for you if anyone who wants to be spy master wants to then i give it to them i step back because you know they're paying um but what's i kind of feel like people should be self-aware enough to be like you know what i shouldn't be spymaster i only made it to eighth grade and why don't we let so i will ruin this experience for everyone if it's me but that's rare yeah there are people like that and it's funny that people are like go ahead so people like that. And it's funny. Go ahead.

So you can, your team can, it's a collaborative effort. Although that falls apart sometimes because any one member of your team can click a card and like final answer it by themselves. Getting a go rogue on you. Unilateral scum. So there, if you click the right side of the card,

that's it. You just pick that card for your team. You pick the left side, a little hash mark goes on it and it's blue so everybody on the blue team can get together and put hash marks on various cards inside it's your name actually and you vote on the answer and it's a good way to visually cast votes we would have this big meltdown i had this big meltdown like don't you fucking click the right side of that goddamn fucking car. Don't you click any fucking thing.

Put your hands in your fucking lap, you monkey man. What are you doing? Hands in your lap. Stop clicking shit. And I could tell the boys, these two, were like, let's cool our jets a little. And I'm like, no, no, they need to feel this one. And I hammered them a little more.

And then the game began anew with everybody thinking Kyle didn't need to go that far. Immediately, a guy on Woody's team does it. And Woody's so exasperated. He's like, Kyle just really went thoroughly under the edge. Like way more thoroughly than I thought could ever be necessary. And yet,

and it's just... Dude, the N-Gu end guessing guy was my favorite. So as Kyle described, you click on the left, you put your name there. Woody thinks this card might be related to the Spymaster's Clip. You click on the right. And I'm just on behalf of my whole team said, this is our guess. No, I've done it. We'll have that power.

There's also an end guessing button, which means we want to end our turn. So some guy was so afraid that he was going to click something that he chose and guessing and ended our turn for the round. It just ended the round. And he's like, I clicked it because I didn't want to click the wrong thing. You clicked the worst thing you're going to click. You ended it all. I think we had to restart that one. Yeah, that was how we handled it.

I think we had to restart that one. It quickly makes you understand if you had to do some life or death military stuff. If we were in a tank together and flipping the wrong switch meant life or death, exposing our position to the enemy, man, you could understand how if someone sent a real idiot into your squad, we'd make sure he got lost one day, right?

Yeah, you'd frag that guy's tent. We'd be like yeah yeah go go get the uh the left-handed uh grenade launcher it's they keep them over there in that other trench across the field so he's heading toward the russians looking for a left-handed whatever no it's after midnight bro truce we have a midnight to 4 a.m truce if you approach the russian encampment in the dark you'll be fine yeah they're christmas truce go here soccer ball say privyette they'll love you scream that you're american so they know like imagine being like a goddamn space station or something like that life or death sort of you can't mess this up or even in

a fucking life raft but i can imagine being a life raft the three of us plus an idiot just a real nincompoop the guy who clicked the wrong button oh that's food buddy and he wants to borrow taylor's swiss army knife to open his can of food and we're all trying to say let me open it for you and he thinks we're going to take his food and he's getting mad we don't want his food we'd never do that to him we're afraid he's gonna pop a hole in the raft yeah i'm starting to think so what happens is woody chokes him out and we all slide his body gently into the waves no we hold on to it because we may need food woody chokes him to death food man life gives you lemons kill your partner at sea Woody's like he'll be out in a sec don't worry

I'm like don't let go and Woody's like what do you mean don't let go are you sure I don't know if I can do this you know what's tough is to murder the guy on your raft and get rescued like 20 minutes later right away

you'd almost be looking at that helicopter like no no, find us later than this, please. Because I'm going straight to jail. Would you go to jail? I guess if you could make a case that it was like, we've been out there. Look at how grizzled we are. We're all beet red. He was going crazy. He was losing.

He'd lost his mind in the sun. He was threatening all of us. We had to do what had to be done i bet you yeah yeah 100 if you if you said he got sir you are still in the theme park because that's the thing that happens people will get hysterical from the the lack of water and maybe even the poisoning of drinking some ocean water and start seeing things that aren't there they'll start thinking that they need to open the hatch in the fucking life raft or something to get the food that's inside because it's made of gummy bears or something.

They're not there anymore. So you would have to. I know that's happened. I watched those YouTube videos that tell about, you know, five people stuck in a life raft and that's the shit that happens. People go crazy and they have to do them in. Yeah, makes sense.

You guys are so ready to kill your people. Like, see you not our people just people in our rap jungle cruise ride fewer people than you started i'm throwing people out of this came at us i threw them overboard just tipping people over on the lazy river if it's a real life or death scenario and we're in the wilderness like we're looking for that wake link you know you have to you gotta find that guy who's not gonna be forewarned i'm gonna be unbelievably aggressive because i don't want it to be me i'm letting you know that like if if i don't have shoes for example i'm finding the first guy whose will fit and yeah i'm gonna i might just do it emotionally what a terrible day at sea and just i don't think i'd do well i i like like i always imagine the one where they the plane went down

the andes and they had to eat their uh their their flight mates yeah i could eat the people but people that walked out i couldn't do that my. My toes get cold here and I get upset. It wouldn't work. It's like 47 by now. Nasty rain out here. Yeah. Too cold.

I don't know how my dogs do it. His dog's six weeks old. He's going to be out there shivering. Poor little Murphy. I want to see Murphy on the hangout tonight. If you can swing it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Probably do that.

He's in his little bassinet in there. Speaking of hangout, we got to bounce over to it. Yep. Yep. All right. BKN 48.