Painkiller Already - PKN 502

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

All right, PKN 502. Taylor wants to talk about samurai swords, and I'm very excited. I'm hoping there's a visual aid in this conversation. Well, that'll be up to Zach. No, I want you to have a samurai sword. I've got a hockey stick and a tennis racket. That's an American samurai sword. And a workout mace I got on sale and never used.

All right, what did you want to talk about? You samurai swordless. It was maybe a week or so ago that Kyle in passing was like, I'm pretty sure the only reason the samurai had their like 10,000 times folded swords was because their steel quality was so lacking compared to like Damascus steel or the same time period of European steel. And I was like, that can't be true. All the weeaboos online have led me to believe that the katana is the ultimate blade,

the ultimate slicing technology. And no, Kyle was 100% right. If a European knight of the year 1400 would have encountered a japanese samurai don't say that out loud they would have smashed right through the samurai sword it would have shattered and broke it would have not been even it wouldn't have even been close to a contest and i was devastated to learn this i did i am a. So even though I might agree with you, that is a huge point of contention there's also this sort of the mma of sword combat where you have more realistic things it's like hey you want to know what'll happen if a medieval

knight fights a a guy with a katana well it's real easy to figure that out here's mike he loves the katana here's dave he loves the long sword it's all they do now. And then they fight it out. But a knight in European plate mail at the same period would have been like a tank against an armored samurai. I don't know that that's true. They wouldn't have been able to dent through it. Let's use 1600s as our time period for both of them. Indeed. I say that because we're watching Shogun. let's use like 1600s as our like time period for like both of them. Indeed.

Because I say that because we're watching Shogun. And, and so we have that visual, like we know what that armor looks like and what that, no, I've got a lot of self-worth tied up in what I just learned about swords. 35 hours ago. Show me a, show me a 1600s English knight in armor.

Show me what that... Because I've seen how the armor progressed over the years. It's just like a Honda. It's better and better, more faceted. They'll put more and more joints is one of the bigger things for flexibility. I'd love to see what kind of armor they were rocking back then. That was to the point where they were phasing out plate mail in favor of stuff for bullets, right?

Online, I'm getting plate mail. It's 16th century, which is 1500s because it's stupid. Yeah, I'm right about that. First of all, the middle one looks sweet. Really like that. That's awesome. looks sweet. Really like that. That's awesome.

Again, I don't know much about this stuff, but just by the strange shape, especially the one on the left, I'm imagining that's for when you're mounted, maybe? Is that what that... Or that's just a partial bit of it. They don't have the arms for that one.

Can we see more? Because this is just missing and lacking and not at all what i expected like that's what their armor really looked like okay okay see 1500s is what i expected which is the 16th century and that's what i got a lot of in my search yeah it's hilarious by the way i will say like i think that I think he might be right there, Taylor, but you think I'm right? Well, I don't know. Like if you showed up in the 1500s with that shit on against a samurai,

who'd never seen it before. Like, I feel like the wee boos will tell you that he's going to seek out the, the soft points. But in the meantime, the guy would, that's wearing that shit probably just cut the guy in half. And so he doesn't get a second chance to learn from, know i mean yeah i don't know um that's a lot of armor

to be hacking through with us with a very lightweight sword it's like what he said you can see um as you get to the 16th or the 17th century you see much of the armor being phased out because there's so much pike and shot going on there's so many guns you know that are making it kind of irrelevant and also you gotta consider and i don't i don't know but it seems like from the tv show anyway that you had lots of samurai like like my way i think of medieval knights is those guys aren't necessarily foot troops or your average soldier. They're more like Spartans from Halo or like – they're the SEAL Team 6. You know what I mean? They're like – they're darn that many up.

It's like they're often noble born. The government wasn't paying for that armor. You had to have a family rich enough to make that shit, which would be like making your fucking Ferrari to go out with. With a samurai on the other hand it seems like they're wearing that like lacquered armor and they all gotta get goddamn katana i think that looks doesn't look too robust i feel like the street sign armor and rust might be better yeah than what they're wearing in shogun i don't know i don't know like i mean it's their armor that they came up with to fend off swords.

It makes sense that you'd make armor that is meant to fend off the sword you're most likely to encounter, which would be a lightweight, not as high quality steel. Very sharp, though, right? We all agree katanas are silly sharp. Sure, they're

sharp, yeah. I guess it depends what fighting't think it's very good like it doesn't seem like it's good at hacking through things it seems like a lighter blade the ones i've always i've held were light ish you know like i don't know three or four pounds or something if they felt like they didn't feel like they had enough weight to carry through and cleave through like a man's arm like if i hit that lacquered armor i think i'd i'd cut it and scratch it real bad and my sword would pass over it whereas clearly japan had this speed kills motto when they built both their armor and their weapons because they're going to be way more nimble than

someone in the heavy armor with what i presume is a heavy sword. I don't know. And what I'm saying again is that I wonder what the... I wonder if the samurai is the correct equivalent to a medieval knight or if the samurai is more of the equivalent to the medieval foot soldier who might have just been a peasant. Oh, that's what you're talking about with the popularities.

Exclusivity is a better word. I don't think that most of those guys were considered samurai. Like, the rank and file guys. Those are all samurai. That army that we're seeing with all those tents, there's hundreds, there's thousands of samurai.

Samurai probably is Japanese for, like, foot soldier or some shit. Just like, you know what katana means in Japanese? Probably sword. Japanese sword. It's the funniest line in that samurai cop movie, the one that's soldier or some shit just like you know katana means in japanese probably sword japanese sword it's the funniest line and that samurai cop movie the one that's like so bad it's good he's like you know what katana means he's japanese sword and it's just this awkward just terribly delivered thing but uh well i guess at that time of shogun everybody was starting to

get fucked up by guns pretty pretty consistently we had so i watched a thing about the tactics that they would actually employ with that sort of pike and shot um offense defense kind of thing so you'd have like a mixed formation so there'd be guys in front with uh shields um that would protect against like arrows because and then you'd also have archers behind you and you'd have guys with big long spears and swords around you and then in the middle you'd have like a dozen guys with those with muskets or those those you barely call those guns they had muskets they're so rudimentary because they can shoot and they can kill but then they gotta load and they're so vulnerable doing all that old timey loading especially if it's before i think it might be before flintlock i think it might be when they've still got like a

sort of a wick lit that they press down into a powder cup and then that ignites and it's almost like a portable cannon yeah you can't even fight on a fucking rainy day with that gun so really can't you know when i was a while ago i used to wonder why american indians held onto the bow and arrow for as long as they did right obviously they were just wildly overmatched we've seen how this works out in civ 5 but i came to respect the arrow a lot more like the bow and arrow because you can fire them way faster than you can reload an old timey musket. And they're just about the same deadly, I would argue. But the reload is the big difference.

That's it. The musket gives you one shot. I feel like if I could goad somebody with a musket into taking a bad shot, then shit, I've got six. I have no particular arrow talent, but I think I could hit him before he reloads and gets me. It's like that scene from The Patriot where Mel Gibson does that. He gets them to fire. They all shoot their fucking guns, and then he goes, ha-ha!

He's got a hatchet and a tomahawk in one hand and a blade in the other, and he starts running. In fairness, that could have been avoided for those redcoats with just the smallest amount of planning, which is like, remember, brothers, don't all amount of planning. Remember, brothers? Don't all shoot at the same time. Remember, because first thing they do is they kill all the officers right away. And then the remaining

sergeant is like... He orders volley fire at the tree. He's like, everyone fire! And now everybody's empty. And then you just need Mel to distract the one guy who didn't shoot. And then it's just fisticuffs. That's a great scene.

I need to watch that movie again. It's so goddamn long, though. I keep going to watch a movie that my girlfriend hasn't seen. Have you seen this? Seen that? And inevitably, there are these two and a half, three hour fucking epics that I really don't want to want to jump right into it like 11 PM at night or something like that. Yeah.

And that's one of them. The Patriots, a nice long ass good movie. I haven't seen it in easily 10 years, but I remember thinking it's great. Yeah. It makes me sad. Like the,

the beginning sets the stage so well for his like just vein popping out of his forehead vengeance mode because it's like yeah this guy has a good reason to be pissed like his family's destroyed his his his nation's being i have long feared that the sins would return to visit me and the cost is more than i can bear i love that shit remember he's talking because he fought in the in the uh-Indian War and they sent the eyeballs and tongues and ears of all the men they killed up the river in the raft.

The next day they signed a peace treaty. Holy shit. So he's fearing that he's going to be punished for the things he'd done in that war and that's why everything goes bad for him. Good movie. It's one of Mel Gibson's better movies. Super good.

I'm watching. I think Mel makes good movies. Good movie. It's one of Mel Gibson's better movies. Super good. I'm just saying something. I think Mel makes good movies. He does. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I'm watching a terrible TV show right now. I don't know if I'm going to finish it or not. Why do you guys do this to yourselves? I don't. I quit it.

You're right. Let's just agree you're right. But I'm wrong and here I am doing it again. But I'm watching. You guys know Naked and Afraid. If you don't, the premise is you go out there without clothes and you have to survive in the woods for 21 days. And then there's XL where they last longer. This is Naked

and Afraid in Love. So, eight guys, eight girls go out there and they have to survive in the woods, but they're also supposed to like fall in love with each other and such. It is clearly not a survival show. I haven't seen them do anything related to survival. Like they might make a fire, but like they seem to have no trouble sourcing food and water.

So if that's not occupying a lot of your time, there's fucking craft services right off screen. You know that has to be the case. But it's also irritating me because I am too old and too mature to be watching a show like this. I'll see like two women of basically equal beauty, right? One's maybe a little flirtier than the other, and she's a life coach. The other one is like wrapping up her PhD in computer science. And I'm like, how are you fucking stuck between these two? One is way smarter.

The other is a ball and chain for the rest of your fucking life. What do you want? An expensive pet? This is what you're signing up for? You dumbass. Like this life coach. That's not going anywhere, fucks. That's not going anywhere fucks that's not going anywhere no she's going to create a business that loses money and ask you to fund it that's what she's that's what

she's signing up for and uh uh these guys are all making terrible decisions they oh and the girls do too like there'll be one guy who is just like everything you want he's good looking he's this that he's got a good job etc and there's another one maybe a little better looking lives in a van and they're all swooning for him and it's like bitch he lives in a van he can't get girls because of his nomadic lifestyle is what they keep saying he's homeless you're signing up for a homeless person with good abs but do you think that the things he brings to the table will be interesting to you once you leave this island? He's not fit. He's malnourished. I think your

inkling that this is fake is spot on. Is everybody losing dramatic amounts of weight? Because if not, okay, bullshit. It's not lasting long enough so far. If you want a real reality show, remember the Juan Taylor where they had the women versus the men? There's a great montage of it on YouTube.

I think that was a survivor, wasn't it? The women are being contacted by the doctor. He's like, you're all in the various stages of kidney failure. You have 36 hours to pull it together or you all have to leave the island. Then it cuts to the men and they're like,

party, party! Each of them has a coconut with the top cut off like on Gilligan's Island. They are roasting a big caiman lizard or something. Like a full-sized, not a crocodile or anything, but

something that takes two men to carry that's a big lizard. They have roasted it and they're all eating their fill of this meat. And then they cut back to the women and it's like it's at this point when they tied up a pig and left it in the woods for the girls so there's this pig tied up in the woods it's it's a little pig definitely cheating yeah they couldn't pull it off pig Pig escaped them. It was staked down. The next day, they're like,

look at the girls. They've come upon a sleeping pig. They have drugged a pig and the pig's laying there. And look, a wild set of knives to carve it. they all fall upon this pig and and i think the camera cut but then next time you see the pig it ain't got a head and they're carrying it back to camp but i don't know how they managed to cook it someone cooked that shit for me they were like

literally so dehydrated they were going into organ failure it was a complete failure uh but but going to the men and seeing like how they were flourishing was the hilarious part they're just like they're just like oh it's so good god that's good they're just having a great time they have relaxation time for a man like garnering enough resources to provide just for yourself is very very easy like in a survival situation if you know what you're doing like like all those people do. Yeah. Yeah.

I've done it and it wasn't easy at all for me. I just slowly died. If you know what you're doing, none of us would do well. I met with a few YouTube videos. We could figure it out. If they put a, if they put a sleeping drugged up pig on fucking Sarah.

It's like art. Go ahead, Kyle. Let's listen to your thoughts. I, what I think happened is it got hot that week that we were there, and the wildlife was laying low, just like we were during the day, how we were just kind of wanting to sit still and not move.

I think all the wildlife was, because the week before that, man, there was a lot of shit there to eat. And I mean, I'm in the same area now, and my backyard has squirrels jumping around in it and big fat doves flying over every day. It's like, where was this? It was shocking how everything disappeared. I agree. I think it was our presence just talking.

That didn't help. Sleeping there and stuff. Because whenever I'm in the woods, and I'm in the woods more than perhaps a lot of people, there's squirrels jumping from tree bow to tree bow. There's activity. You'll see a deer now and then, or even a bear. We went a week and I don't recall ever hearing a squirrel shuffle. Like they just weren't near me at all. We kept the guns close so that if we saw one above us, like we'd pop it. And again, like i grew up in those woods specifically you know 10 miles from there like like the exact same kind of hardwoods and and pines and shit like i know i've spent countless hours my whole childhood for years was spent in those trees

like literally up in them waiting on deer it was bizarre how little and i thought what you thought that's why i would go out every morning get in the truck i drive like a mile or two down that dirt road i was like squirrels don't know about us on this band get out and sit out there in the woods for like two or three hours and just are there no birds singing like what happened did the at one point i was like why have we got cell phones because otherwise i might think the world had ended or something and like all the wildlife died or something it was that was so shitty i can't believe there was there was nothing out there we were talking about men versus women before did you guys watch the apprentice much are you too young um i you know i didn't got into it it's another one of those fake reality shows that i couldn't get into i don't have a lot of reality show experience, I guess.

So when it... The first couple seasons were just normal. And then sometimes they do men versus women as an idea to sort of mix things up. Or sometimes it would just evolve into kind of men versus women. It started off whatever, 6v6, mixed up

evenly, but it worked its way down to one team had 4 and 1 and the other team had 1-4. It's essentially men versus women. Anyway, the women teams all fell into the same sort of catty, bickering, like they never were effective at their task. Are you trying to sell a car? You have to get it all fixed up, cleaned up, looking nice and selling it. They could not agree. They always hated each other and they often just flat out failed their tasks. Meanwhile, the men work together like a finely tuned machine. And if it was a complicated project, the guys always kick their ass,

but the women had their own advantage. Sometimes the winner just had to like get money out of people and like, say it's an environment where like, you know what, tonight we're going to replace the entire waitstaff with men. And then the next night we're going to replace the entire waitstaff with women. Whoever brings in more money wins every single time. The women would just turn it into a restaurant.

They had to sell an ice cream. Hey, I want you to make an ice cream. One had led ice cream that was called like a glazed donut, and the other had some sort of red velvet ice cream that they invented. So, of course, the women fucking hang their tits out and get people to buy ice cream cones and won the challenge. Just have to wear a uniform.

Yeah. Well, Kyle, the purpose of those challenges is so it's not a clean sweep from the men and everything. The producers threw that in there. It would be great if there sweep from the men and everything. The producers threw that in there. It would be great if there was... The men win everything. Let's see. Anywhere.

Go off, King. Other things that enrage me. Like a week or two ago, there was a situation where a guy had taken a lady hostage. Might have been his daughter. And this big standoff with LAPD. And they had the daughter.

Yeah, and the daughter gets out of the car and she's like walking toward the police following the commands. And they shot her and killed her for no apparent reason. And in the report, they said that she was running toward them wearing tactical gear and that she had been stabbed, I thought. And so, two weeks

later, now the report has been released and the video has been released. So you can see the LAPD murdering a young lady if you want to in police activity. I didn't watch that one. I like the ones where the bad guys get shot, not really when the good guys get shot. I don't watch the Russian UAV footage.

I don't want to see any Ukrainians get blown up. I only watch the Ukrainian footage and the same thing. I usually try to only watch the Russian UAV footage. I don't want to see any Ukrainians get blown up. I only watch the Ukrainian footage and the same thing. I usually try to only watch the police footage when they're the good guys and shooting at bad guys. You prefer watching innocent conscript Russians get blown up. Nothing innocent about that. They had their options. Getting dragged to the front line?

Voting a little bit better, maybe? Yeah. That's retarded. Maybe in, what was it, was it 92 or 94? Maybe in 92 or 94 they should have made some better decisions. Or maybe they should stop electing the ex-KGB agent. Do you think any of those people are the ones dying on the front lines? What, the people who, well, no, they're not allowed to vote yet.

Most of them are like 17 right yeah dude speaking of the the videos you're talking about with the like weapons charge like or charging at someone with a weapon there was it's so funny like sometimes the way like the media frames it before you see a video i saw one and it was like some mainstream publication being like black student genius or whatever, however they frame it, you know, was gardening when he was gunned down by a police officer for holding a gardening tool. like you mean this video right here that the police released the dude is charging at a cop with a sickle like the grim reaper like there's no there's no if ands or buts he's like he's running at him with a sickle raised and the cops like he's got a sickle he's closing that gap quick he's gonna behead you look i i give that's fucking absurd i give cops some broad um powers of judgment like like look no one dislikes

the police more than kyle but they're doing a job and uh and they're like hey need you to step out of the car why what for all right i see how things are going to go yeah and it's like i think with black people in particular there's some kind of like it's like complying is getting punked it's like it's like going easily or or making this smoothly and just saying whatever you say sir or making this smoothly and just saying whatever you say sir left arm or right arm first uh instead of doing that you need to be like no no and like fight and make it difficult and like be loud so everybody knows you ain't scared because because that you can always tell when somebody's not scared they get real loud well that's nothing dad doesn't prove someone's brave than when they start yelling real loud and trying to act big like in front of obviously armed like like men that's the other thing like

jesus they've got guns they've got guns and they've got protocol and once you this isn't going to be some kind of maybe you've had a situation in your past where like you punked someone with a gun or someone threatens you with a gun or you punk them like this won't happen you can't punk a cop like that episode of fargo when billy bob thornton's like just get back in your car or whatever and the dude like gets back and he's like i'm rolling up my window and driving away have a nice night and go home to your daughter or whatever he says like that don't happen they say fuck you cops are ready to die right there then do that because they're recording this shit they can't do that shit that's the other thing like

there is no let there's no more slack but we get when they put those body cams on the the world of get cutting people slack ended like you can see it many times in videos i saw a councilman get caught with a crack pipe in his hand in his car city councilman in his car cop gets a well a wellness check because he's you know passed out in his car on crack and cop shows up oh i saw the pipe he's like it's on the camera i even if i wanted to there's nothing i can do he's like will there be a report he's like well i'm not gonna lie there will be i mean we're we're not gonna tell anybody but it's public access he's like will there be a report he's like well i'm not gonna lie there will be i mean we're we're not gonna tell anybody but it's public acts he's like working with him you know what i mean

like you know that if there weren't body cameras he'd be like man stomp that out on the ground right now stomp it whatever that is that flat that was it a light bulb take that light bulb and crush it on the ground real quick it was a light bulb right yeah it it a light bulb? Take that light bulb and crush it on the ground real quick. It was a light bulb, right? Yeah, it was a light bulb. Good, good. That looked like a dangerous light bulb. Crush that out real good. It's like an illegal LED. You don't have any filaments

in there. All these cops are so brave and never do anything wrong now. It doesn't sit right in the age of Yuval Day. Oh, well, I don't know how to explain that. I don't think they're always brave, but I think in a traffic stop, for example. You can't punk them.

Those guys were fucking punks, man. They sat outside for an hour, 45 minutes. That's not what being punked is. Punked is me saying, no, you're not going to do it. Fucking step back. Like, no. Fuck you right now. Get away. You want to fight? I didn't think so. Gone. It's not a perfect fit like i know what punked is but they i still attribute them as being punks man they were outside

hearing the murders they heard they were listening to the children get murdered outside and we're like i'm not going in there you go first like uh the i remember probably i mean it happened within the era that we've been doing this show that they were like, they're making body cameras mandatory on all these cops. And like the narrative at the time from people was like, now cops just won't be able to go around bullying people willy nilly for no reason. And frankly, like the vast majority of the videos I see of of it is like, oh, oh no that totally justifies the cop's response yeah someone was charging at him with a sickle and he went to or a sword and he saw that last night did you watch that video with me still love body cams though yeah we watched that um katana guy yeah but yeah even if it proves the cops are right like dude just give us truth yeah yeah it seems to like go in their favor

and maybe that is because now they're supposed to go in their favor 100 of the time by the way i couldn't be a cop and not assault someone i'm not a rage-filled person i don't get mad easily but i watched a couple videos today and i'm wanting those cops to hit those people i'm like punching punching punching i wanted to not i'm like i if the cameras are off i'd knock all this guy's fucking teeth out like this guy's this guy's dui fucking hurt people and he's a big dude and so they double handcuff him he's got blood all over his face because he hit his head on his windshield in a fucking seat belt and uh and so as soon as they try to put him in the cop car he's like hospital my ribs hurt bullshit so we get him to the hospital in the stretcher and he turns into

a gigantic zombie who wants to bite his hands are behind his back but you immediately realize that walking dead they wouldn't make it you know those situations with the zombies on top of him and he's going trying to bite him you can't get away from that these cops can't this guy is coming after him and they're like stop biting us, stop biting us, sir. Stop biting us. And no one is hitting him. I'm thinking like, dude, I'd have had that baton out. I had a flashlight.

I've been at least throwing some punches because he's already missing one tooth. And I'm thinking like, if we knock one, that other one would be easy to get out. Like, it's just sitting there by itself. Like, I can knock that tooth right the fuck out. Once you take your license, that whole thing breaks down quickly. You bite me, I'm knocking your fucking tooth out. He bit this guy's hand. He's got the cop's hand in his mouth and there's blood.

And again, because he's missing the tooth, it makes it more likely that there'll be punctures. You know, it's not just, you know, we all have human teeth. This guy barely did. I couldn't believe they weren't hitting him. And then some of those bitches some of those just crazy drunk cunts drunk white chicks would be like the number one thing i would hate to deal with the worst fighters you think i don't know how many drunk white chicks y'all have dealt with in your personal lives but i find them to be the most obnoxious human beings known to mankind i'd

rather hang out with a white supremacist all night drinking beers we find we find some common ground that guy probably played sega too but you know what i mean but but but with a drunk white bitch you're just like ah you know no no snap your fingers in my face you clap in my face like like i gotta leave susan you're driving me crazy where's that fucking nazi guy he was a hoot the the people that bother me the most that i find most intolerable are the people who don't want to be touched it's usually women but they're just screaming like get your hands off me do not touch me finger in the face all aggressive as if they're in the right it's like no no you're being detained or arrested at this point you this whole like i don't give you consent

to touch my wrist thing is gone we're past that you ever watch uh i think it's called like first amendment audit or something like that the guy's name is justin i think he's a heavyset guy he's wearing a black hoodie um older like maybe 40 so here's what he does. He's retired Marine Corps and now he sues cities and police departments for a living on his YouTube channel. He gets millions of views a video. He'd be a fun guest even. I'm sure

he's still doing stuff now, but some of his greatest hits, one of his things he'll do, he'll go to your local police department or I'm pretty sure he does this as well. He'll start recording inside the police vehicles. He'll go in their parking lot and start recording through the windows.

If they harass him in any way or if they take his camera away, if they illegally detain him, he doesn't have to give them any. At that point, he doesn't have to do anything. He doesn't have to answer any questions. He doesn't have to provide any ID. They have no problem because he And they hate not getting what they want. They hate that. And he'll let them know, like, I'm not answering your questions.

I don't answer to you, Sergeant Bully. Sergeant Bully Boy. He complies perfectly to the Constitution, but not to the police. Not at all. And he knows the variance between those and exploits it. He'll also utilize and a lot of these guys do these these first amendment first amendment auditors the sidewalks public sidewalks you do whatever the fuck you want out there you can go right in front right on a sidewalk in front of a business that has like like a hair salon for example that you know windows you can stand out there and film through the windows the lady is getting their hair done

of course the salon's calling the cops and of course the cops are there and film through the windows. The lady is getting their hair done. Of course, the salon's calling the cops. And of course, the cops are coming. And of course, the cops are going to tell you to get the fuck out of there. And of course, he's going to tell them to suck their own dicks. Because he's like, what are you recording for? Does he get that strong? Like the line he might use? Maybe not him in particular.

But there's one guy I've heard who just like, he's pretty quick-witted. And he'll start making fun of their physical flaws and like it may sound like a bad comeback to say come on four eyes what do you want but when somebody calls you four eyes to your face in real life in front of a bunch of your buddies it's a little frustrating come on four eyes i thought you can't see that i'm a i'm just exercising my rights here? I'd be so taken aback by such a grade school insult. I think I'd just be stunned.

Why don't you suck in your gut? Your lieutenant's watching. No. I'm already sucking in my gut, thank you. I never stop sucking in my gut. He'll go in front of a rich neighborhood with a sign that says god bless the homeless vets and he'll stand there all day and the rich people hate that shit because they think he's homeless he's not homeless he's got a nice ass vehicle parked

right over there legally and like the cops are coming out and and there's there's nothing we can do there's nothing we can do i wish there was there's nothing we can do. There's nothing we can do. I wish there was. There's nothing we can do. I wouldn't like that either. He's trying to bait us. Some guy antagonizing a neighborhood, not even intending to make a change in any meaningful way, just trying to bother people. He's spreading a message.

He's spreading a message. Absolutely. He's spreading a message of goodwill and he's also making sure that your local pd isn't going to be so quick to to violate people's rights um and they might end up getting an education it's funny when you see the aftermath videos because you end up uh all of those internal meetings between like the sheriff's department or the police or whoever that's you can do a public request and get those so he has he then uploads that officer in a disciplinary hearing,

and he's sitting there, and he's like, what have you learned? I've learned that standing on the sidewalk, there's nothing wrong with that, and that may I was a little bit too hasty with this and that, and some of them result in six-figure litigations. Yeah, that's what he's going after. He's not spreading a message of good cheer. What percentage of that money that he got for the from litigation do you think he gave to homeless vets i'm gonna wager zero percent no he runs a charity for homeless vets too i

believe oh a little tax write-off no matter what you say i don't like him no no he doesn't take the deduction he likes he he says he likes paying into the system it's not a non-profit though he doesn't into my taxes this is for israel oh that was the other one i saw today i just saw the guy the guy's outside a church and you know right where you come in and out and it's a big enough church that they've got like people that help you park and stuff and uh he's waving that Palestinian flag, baby. Free Palestine. He's got the head wrap on. And they're coming, giving him guff, telling him what to do.

And then maybe one of the church higher-ups comes out there. And the higher-up says something like, well, hang on a minute. Listen to me. He's like, listen to you? What are you, my boss? You my dad? No. How about fuck you, old man?

How about fuck you old man how about fuck you in and it's just like i love when they're like super obnoxious because they know they get away with it and i like knowing that they're going to sue the guy because look it's not the taxpayers who end up paying it's an insurance company it's always an insurance company like those sheriff's departments police departments are insured and so you could almost like hey violate my rights i'll cut you in like yeah but insurance companies aren't a magic pot yeah they are yeah that's not right that's you don't think their insurance goes up like i'm telling you of course it goes up and you're convicted of malpractice you either might get insurance so you're gonna

start paying a ton more yeah it might they might their insurer might drop them i wonder what happens that in that in that instance like like if you're not insured like how can you operate and i they don't end up paying a lot i'd be okay with that places like it's like when uh when stores like target or walmart get looted and robbed people will sometimes be like oh well insurance is a magical windfall that just shows up and pays for it and it's like no they have to shut those locations down because they're not operating on these mystic margins that the people stealing think they do well that's good i like that too i love when there are those um what they call food deserts or something uh yeah and i don't buy that is a food desert from first of all i haven't heard that as a

result of stealing i thought it was a result of like low population no oh nobody will tell you it's low population it's always a racial and crime thing it's it that's what it's you end up and and the left's version of it will be that, Oh, this is some sort of plan to marginalize us. Why are there only liquor stores and pawn shops and, and places to check cashing places here? It's like, well, cause those,

you notice they all have bars on them. Like they're, they're only places that can stand up to like the level of criminality that exists in your neighborhood. Yeah. You robbed your local like grocer and he had, he went out of business. Walmart came in.

You robbed him until he didn't want any. Walmart can't turn a profit here because you robbed them so much. That's my other favorite is the Walmart thieves. That's a whole side category, a whole genre of police videos because now you've got loss prevention teams, and they're watching those cameras and short scanning or stop scanning or whatever they call it. When you pretend to scan an item and throw it in your cart, like it's very big thing that happens now. And they are on that.

They are on that watching it. And I love seeing those big fat bitches get tased in front of Walmart, dude. Yeah, but there's no way a food desert exists as like Walmart being like, sir, we've located a very lucrative area where we could make oodles of dollars and they're like no that's where black people live it's like oh i don't think you're saying that yeah they go away the food desert happens not because you have an area without food it's an area with too much crime and the food leaves i looked it up it's both food deserts are also places where there's just not enough population. I found another term too,

called food swamp, where the only things offered in that area are like junk food and fast food. But like, that plays into like the, the robbery one though, because like, you can't like rob McDonald's over and over. Oh,

you literally can. Yeah. My college roommate used to do that. Well, that's what a dickhead i exaggerated my college roommate's twin brother was the actual person robbing them not my roommate oh and then your roommate would go in just looking for a mcdouble and their their his picture is up on the wall do not serve this man dude this guy was robbing it was literally

burger kings i said mc. Is he a real hamburger? I see. Stick with that. They can be the hamburglar. He can be a hamburger. You're right. You're right. But the truth is what it is.

He would rob Burger Kings and he practiced Kung Fu and shit. And his roommate was a racist. And between he, his roommate, and myself, who dropped jelly down the stairs, I faced the harshest crime punishments. Damn. These guys didn't get thrown out of college these guys didn't get thrown out of college they didn't get thrown out of the dorms no they got thrown out of burger king yes that's about right yeah which is like if i'm going to be thrown out of any fast food establishment

like just throw me out of burger king i don't want your food anyway if i wandered in there it's because i'm grievously injured like that can't imagine another reason that I would go into a Burger King. Or a Taco Bell at this point. We've litigated the Taco Bell thing. I actually had Taco Bell the other day. They have a new cantina chicken burrito, and it was basically free. It was like if you buy a burrito, you get $5 off, and the burrito was like $5.75. So it was okay.

They have slow roasted chicken apparently. What that means is they added a new thing to the kitchen to keep the roasted chicken in. It's actually a decent thing. When you compare it to Chipotle, which is a $21 burrito now somehow,

it's like, yeah, okay. Dude, Chipotle, no. If you get a burrito now somehow. Yeah, okay. Dude, Chipotle, no. If you get a burrito bowl with double meat, it's easily $20 now at Chipotle. I've kind of stopped going to a lot of places like that because it's insulting. You get to the front of the line, it's like $20.70 for this amount of food in my bowl.

For dinner, I made two New York strip steaks, two twice-baked potatoes, and Brussels sprouts last night. And I think the total cost of that dinner was like $22, right about what that burrito cost. Yeah, so one burrito. Brussels sprouts are free. Potatoes are still free.

And those New York strip steaks are like $10 a piece or something when you buy four of them on a deal at Aldi. Are you stealing vegetables, Kyle? I mean, how much do you think Brussels sprouts cost? I don't know. I think they're not free. I got them recently. But you have to weigh them.

I had to weigh them at the checkout. I get the bag. They're already in the bag. Or sometimes it's even better. You can get a steam bag. You just throw it in the microwave. I love Brussels sprouts. I don't in the bag. Or sometimes it's even better. You can get a steam bag. You just throw it in the microwave. I love Brussels sprouts. I don't know what's going on with them. Brussels sprouts are a problem. They make your cum taste terrible.

Is it really? I like Brussels sprouts too. You roast them. What's it taste like? I don't know. This is just the feedback I'm carrying. I feel you. I don't need asparagus because it makes my piss smell so bad that it's upsetting to me.

I can only imagine my cum would also smell bad or maybe taste bad. I genuinely love asparagus roasted on a pan with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper. I could eat a whole pan of that shit. But I don't. I like it when it's over salted. It's like a pretzel to me.

Is it the asparagus I'm actually enjoying? No, it's just a shovel for pretzel. Yeah, but salt's okay. We've been through this. You got to MSG that up. Actually, never mind. Not for us anymore. We've gotten to that age where it's no longer okay.

You'll be there soon, Taylor. Salt's just fine for you until a certain point. Then, apparently, it's a real risk factor. It's it's a real risk do you want flavor or to c70 i eat salt sometimes but i never ever add it i haven't added salt to my food in years and i used to i used to add it um dude i would just eat like mixed fruit with salt on it because it's delicious yeah really I've never done that. Salt's good on fruit. On tomatoes especially.

I like tomatoes. If they're good, garden grown tomatoes. My dad will grow tomatoes occasionally. And we had hydroponic tomatoes at our school. Can you drink your way through a ton of salt? Like you just hydrate in an absurd amount? What do you mean? Like what would you be drinking?

He's asking if you drink enough water, if it'll flush the salt. Like can you become a salt processing unit, a better one? Yeah. Not just have high blood pressure. I don't know. I don't know. I see the logic. I think it'll help hydrating a lot for sure, but I don't think you can just.

You can't hurt. I don't think hydrating hurts anything, does it like you'd have to really try right you have to drink like even when people like you know you could die from water like it's a baffling amount of water i don't have the discipline to die from water poisoning i would quit woody if you drink six liters of water in the next nine minutes, you die. One liter in and I'm already quitting. It's usually a hazing when that happens. Usually you'll have a fraternity that water poisons some kid

as a way of getting into the frat. It's something about diluting the bloodstream or maybe your cells become so hyper hydrated they're no longer effective or something but you die because you drink if you drink too much water yeah but it's a crazy amount yeah i mean there's a map for everything like it would seem like you could throw up and get rid of a lot of water i think it's just absorbing into he's absorbed so much that it's killed him you know it's not the water in his stomach that's hurting him. It's how much it's in his bloodstream at this point.

But if that guy was eating a whole bag of Lays while he was being hazed, he probably would have been fine. Because the salt and the potassium from the potatoes... This is a testable hypothesis. Let's bring back hazing. There's no way that's true.

Yeah, because I thought you died from the water because your electrolytes get so low that it interferes with your ability for your heart to beat and shit. Oh, is that right? Like potato chips. Obviously, potatoes have a lot of potassium in it and they're salted.

And so if you were guzzling water like that, couldn't you counteract it with chips? The water's still in you, though. What is the salt going to do to the water? He's saying it's not the volume, it's the contents of the water. If you just give it some electrolyte salt, it won't be so deadly.

Yeah. May have. It makes perfect sense. We should definitely try this. You would need enough... Well, then you would have a problem of too much salt. Oh no, that will eat enough chips you ever watch uh are you smarter than a fifth grader the old show jeff foxworthy hosting i've seen it you're aware of its existence i'm aware of it i've never seen it though

so travis kelsey is in talks to do the reboot he's gonna to be the host of are you smarter than a fifth grader tra, the active player? Yes. That's an interesting choice. I don't know. Is anybody clamoring for the return of this program? Or are they just like Travis Kelsey, this guy's hot, hot, hot right now. We gotta put him in. Super Bowl winner.

Trivia. It should be Are You Taller Than a Fifth Grader? He wins every week. He's the host. He won't be competing. He'll be asking the questions. I like Travis Kelsey a lot, but to me his brother Jason carries the show. I don't know if it's my Eagles fandom that

sways me, but I just think Big Brother's the good one. Yeah, I haven't actually watched He goes on a 15 minute rant where he explains um twilight and there's like five twilight movies there's a lot dude it's amazing and his brother hates it he hates it he can't sit through it it's killing him he's going la la la la and his brother won't stop explaining like all the love affairs and whatever the plot i have never seen

the movies but it's i just it's really good content i loved it it was endeared them to me that twilight one was like the first really shitty movie i had to go see in theaters with like a high school girlfriend that came out my senior year of high school and i remember at the time being like oh man how many how many terrible movies am i gonna have to see with women but it turns out not that many because you can just decide to see a good movie and they'll go along with it so taylor's like i discovered the key to kingdom you could just go to good ones you can just do what you want and be like this is what we're doing and then you don't say where are we going for dinner

afterward it's we're going to fucking Red Robin that's where we're going because I've got $31 I've been saying for more than 10 years now girls that are trying to like date you they're just there to try to be who you want them to be that's 80%

of their existence. You think there's any female Yankee fans out there? There are plenty that will tell you they are. They're like, I love the Yankees. I'm into Yankees and bow hunting. Me too. That's a fucking girl thing, man. So if you tell her I like Stallone movies,

she'll sign up. She'll go. If a girl's really into bow hunting or something, then I know that she's got a great relationship with her dad, and that probably bodes well. Yeah. Because there's no way she arrived at that hobby on her own. She's probably got a solid dad, good influence, good head on her shoulders. My dad grew up with two other brothers, and then they were friends with this other family who had four brothers. And so that group

would roll around and like play sports and pal around they were all like you know you can imagine a year between each other with like four or five different guys and um the biggest scare and scariest of them all goat was his name um rest in peace was like 6'4 240 big strong man and his anybody but he didn't have any sons he had a daughter and that was a big bitch she got a scholarship to go play softball for alabama when she was in like her junior year like when she hit a softball, it made a different noise. Everybody else was like, bing, bing. It's like, that ball's hurt. Do you remember that video of that fat kid from many years ago in Little League, and he's like, my name's Big Al, and I hit dingers.

I want to see that now. I want to see it now. Oh, you haven't seen that one? My name's Big Al, and I hit dingers i hit dingers anyway this chick uh all you know that was her deal her dad bow hunted like we all bow hunted like all the boys and all the like men like between the 15 of us were all bow hunters of course you can show this act if so was she. And she was a real deal. I have only 12 seconds. Zach, pull that up so people can hear it. Would you find the same one? Yep, yep. Oh, my name is

Alfred D'Elia. At home, they call me Big Al, and I hit dingers. And an RB back in his second-inning appearance. He knocked the shit out of that ball. He's from Jersey, too. Oh, to the opposite side, he hit that ball. Like, that's not easy to knock one out of right field. That's wild.

Big Al D'Elia, he hits dingers. So, good for him. That was fun. I can't'Elia, he hit stingers. So good for him. That was fun. I can't believe you haven't seen that. I'm sticking to my shit, by the way. I will have nothing to do with baseball this year. I don't care. I have no interest in it.

I did see a great quote from the Georgia Bulldogs quote. The Georgia Bulldogs coach, he said something like, oh, let me find it. It's so good i love that guy uh are you looking for it yeah nc state most dominant program in college basketball right now both the men's team and the women's team are in the final four just fucking kicking ass taking names knock it fucking dragons we are the dragon slayer baby we're just knocking down team after team that can't be beaten just took down duke for like the second time this year took down

unc took down virginia um the next team i think is purdue and they're supposed to be just unbeatable but over the other ones kirby said we don't i want more than relevance i want dominance it's like yes that's exactly what we want. Exactly what we want. That I'm looking forward to. Which team was this? UGA. Oh, okay.

The UGA Bulldogs. Well, Mizzou's going to start the season ranked, and so everything's looking up. So hopefully. College football has definitely slid in as my second favorite sport behind lacrosse, of course. yeah um and cricket was a close third but i i just i i get upset at the nfl still like like i i just i feel like it's so like political and upsetting sometimes just the way the way that thing works and the nba is just i think it was the fine i think it was

i know the final the final i think it was i know the final the final four is coming up i know that march madness is happening was it i don't know if it's college uh stadium or nba where the three point lines weren't lined up the same they're out there measuring them and like it's not the the dimensions aren't even fucking right you make that mistake exactly wow i i get up so so upset with the officiating of basketball and just the way that game plays like i'd never be into that so so i think it's not i think it's where did you find ma and pardon i i was i thought there was a break taylor found 2024 college football rankings no i i was oh do they do they do it preseason i just saw some commentator being

like here's the top 10 predicted, and Mizzou is like seven or eight on there. And so I'm like, hell yeah. Ah, okay. We're in the mix, baby. Oh, shit. I'm looking at an ESPN article about next year, and Mizzou is second on your list, on this list.

I'm looking for a state. We finished ranked, but oh, we start 18th. We're both starting ranked. There we go. Just got to keep it together. Maybe this will be the time that we're good for multiple years. Maybe that's happened before, but I've only been a fan for one year. So even when I went to the school, it was like whatever.

I hope we're good. It was fun to go to the game sometimes. Taylor, did you ever get into Vermintide with us? The first one I got into. They're adding a four-player co-op multiplayer. So like teams of four against teams of four against teams of four or something like that. And you'll be one of the characters.

I think one of the teams is like the bad guys. So you're like a rattling gunner or or like maybe you come out as like one of the big uh monsters or something like that is it like you're trying to the team death it's obviously not like 4v4 like it would be like you're on on the team that's trying to prevent them from getting to the end goal of the map right no it looked like no it's a whole new thing it's in beta right now, or it's early access. But it looked like multiplayer. It's not the standard get to the end of a mission.

It's like rats against your team of an elf and your standard four-man teams. I'd give that a go. I really like the PvE, trying to get through the mission though and like kind of the vibe of the endless waves of bad guys like did you play dark tide at all oh that's right you didn't like the scoreboard they have the scoreboard now we can do a mod into the scoreboard if you want to do that um we should still have some modded in yeah you gotta mod it in or you

play hell divers or you play vermintide um i'm gonna play something tonight i burnt the shit out of myself yesterday but i'm i'm trying to get through it what'd you do he's playing through injury i um i don't know when i was cooking i burnt the fucking fingertips off two of my fingers um and i'm such a pussy that like i i walked around with an ice pack all day because it hurts so goddamn much. I hate getting burned. Dude, burns suck. They feel so much worse than they look if it's like a mild burn because it'll look just like a regular blister, but it's actively painful. I felt so stupid.

I put a mixing bowl with the mashed potatoes on top of the stove, but it was near enough to the eye that was on that it caught some peripheral heat and over time got to the point where it was just sizzling hot and then I grabbed it and burnt the fucking shit out of it. Did it ruin the taters? I didn't even eat my steak because I couldn't cut it without

two hands. And no one offered to! I hope you're yelling at the puppy on the other side of the door. All the shit I do for you. Oh, I didn't cut your steak up before we do. She didn't cut your steak for you? No.

That's unforgivable. Nobody offered to. I just sat there and ate my potato with one hand while it skidded around the plate. Remember that very early internet series of the black and white video of the black guy in the woods who would tell a story and then he'd be like, unforgivable. Oh my goodness. That's bizarre. How can you not remember that?

How do you have this encyclopedic? I'm sorry. I've never seen this internet video. I did see that Jennifer Lopez is now implicated in the P. Diddy scandal for being a gun mule for him in a nightclub shooting about 20 years ago where three innocent bystanders were wounded.

Who was implicated? Jennifer Lopez. Oh. She carried, she smuggled P. Diddy's gun in so that he could shoot some people. So hopefully she goes to prison. That'd be fun. Nice. She's still Jenny from the block. Yeah.

She's going to be on self lock six. Jenny from the self lock. So there's a lot of celebrities going down. Oh, you want to hear my new burger restaurant that I'm coming up with? What is it? I got to get, I got to get my fish involved or at least maybe,

maybe he's got some relatives overseas that want to help me finance it. It's kind of like Shake Shack, but we call it Chic Shack. And it's an Arabic burger joint. So you can get a harem of burgers. That's like a sack full of crystal. And pretty much stick with that motif. Just like White Castle, you could still sell it in a suitcase. Kind of like a bomb.

Tick tock! Deals won't last for too much longer over at Cheek Check. Deals on explosive down at Cheek Check. You get a turban instead of a crown. That would be good. Yeah. I mean, hopefully your burgers are higher quality. Outside, instead of golden arches, there should be like a tomahawk raining towards the top

of the building. Yeah. No, it's that curvy Arabic sword and like, what's the symbol for the religion, the Islam? It's like a sword. A crescent. Okay. Yeah. That. That's like a... It's a crescent moon. A crescent... Okay, yeah, that. That's what we'd have out front. I definitely like the idea

of you guys being... All the waitresses are in full burqas. Yep. On roller skates. On roller skates. Awesome. Welcome to Sheik Shack.

Please do not beat me for my impudence. Okay. All right, Sheik Shack. I like it. What could the Crave Case be called? It's the harem. Oh, it's just a harem of burgers? Yeah.

You could do that. I'm trying to think what other puns we could do that would immediately result in having all funding pulled from the Sheik Shack by some activist group would be like i don't think so i think it was arabic that's why you need an arab to like go along with this thing you need them as like a like no no we're celebrating our culture like we need that

guy out front like like meanwhile i'm in the back like we need that guy way out front yeah outside waving even just to make sure that no car bombs come come rolling in yeah like i feel like sticking with that motif i think america's healed enough it's not that we forgot 9-11 it's just that we realized that the saudis were responsible and that george bush was going on a a silly rampage based on some weird feelings with his dad and haliburton was paying off his vice president so we had to kill him yeah some interesting insurance premiums taken out i swear to god that that third building that went down we know that they demolished that building because there were some records in

there right like i'm so sure of that i'd bet anything on it of course like it did it wasn't magic no one's down yeah i've like buildings don't fall from fires like like buildings down the street don't burn down because of there's don't fall down because a building down the street caught on fire you know i mean like yeah okay if a jet full of fuel like hits a building down the street caught on fire. You know what I mean? If a jet full of fuel hits a building and the fuel disperses through it, okay, I saw it happen. It happened. But that other building, nothing hit that shit.

Nothing hit that shit. They demolished that building. They shot down that plane in Pennsylvania. I'm sure it's true. I think we'd brag about that. I think we'd say it. Maybe not. Maybe someone... Anytime you're in politics, half the population will disagree with no matter what you did. At first they were gonna, and then Dick Cheney

pulled a lamplight and illuminated himself in the darkness and you could see his cigar. Well, we need his hero. And then they just make up the whole lie about how they're heroes. Let's roll. Is that the plane where they got cell phone

recordings and all that? Yeah. Or is that a different one? Well, they called and were like, we're going to try to take the plane. And then you can hear the one guy, they've all armed themselves as best the plane. Then you can hear the one guy. They've all armed themselves as best as you can. He says, let's roll. They went to go fight the terrorists.

I think somebody had a pot full of coffee or something. They got the beverage tray maybe to try to use as a ram. To get into the cockpit? I suppose so or maybe to ram into the person that was standing between them and the cockpit i don't know how you take a plane with a box cutter today i feel like you end up getting beaten to fucking death you yeah that does seem hard yeah i don't i think every able-bodied man starts their flight with a fantasy of that happening at this point. Not me. I do not want that shit happening at all.

I just want to get there. It's not that I – but no, come on. You don't do the fantasy like, you know what? If this guy gets out of line, I could be that guy. No? Just me? No. I just want to sit there and either play my video game or watch my terrible seat back movie.

That's what I want. Fantasy doesn't mean you really want it to happen. It's just your daydream about how you'd be a super soldier in times of war. Oh. Now, if I'm fantasizing about something on a plane, it's going to be something much more mild than that. It's like I'm the best NHL player ever. And then I just do. Patrice O'Neill had a funny bit, not even a bit, like when he was on ONA,

it was like one of his woman bits where he's like, you know why women hate us sometimes? It's because they can't sit there for four hours and just imagine being the greatest running back of all time and be fully content in sitting there. You think a bitch can do that? No chance. I imagine whole stat lines,

whole story lines of my career where they're going, oh man, you got to be careful around Patrice and they hate us for it. Yeah, I do that too. I imagine myself being not just a good UFC fighter, not even just the greatest UFC fighter thus far,

literally a superhero who goes on twitter and asks people how they'd like me to win this one like what do you think of leg kicks would that be funny liver kick like you know what this guy's been really respectful we're gonna win with a rear naked choke this fucker talked about my wife she gets there he gets the liver shot this is the most painful way i know to win it's the ultimate technique the gun in my cup the way i take down the most dastardly of yeah that usually i don't dream that i'm the best like normal human to do something i want to like i'm strategizing on how long i can play football without them realizing I have superpowers. Yeah.

Or I just go back to stupid, retarded fantasies where it's just like that I immediately hit a wall where it's like, oh, man. All right. I'm the greatest bank robber. I'm a modern bank robber. And then within like five minutes, it's like, man, I don't know enough about bank security to even fantasize this accurately. I'm thinking old-timey, like, give me your money, see? And then there's some guy in the back that just has a key

and that's about it. But I don't think it'd be that easy nowadays. You can't open the vault with one arm like I can in my fantasies? No, there's got to be some realism there. I like it my way. I want it to be like oh this is good not oh plot on i think uh you ever seen heat i have not i've heard of it heat's one

of the greatest action movies ever made um the uh i think it's the fbi that that uses or maybe the marine corps it's someone like that that uses that scene of val kilmer uh like gunfighting to to show like active reloads, combat reloads. Very impressive. It's about a team of bank robbers. It's Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, and a bunch of other people. And you've got a cop who knows that this guy's

going to rob a bank. And they meet each other and they kind of talk. He robs multiple banks along the way in armored trucks as well and it's just really good it's a really good action movie and uh but they're hitting but hitting armored cars seems like the way right yeah like you know there's money in there and it's just right there see mark walberg do that you're not in a movies right and

you're not in a building like like you don't have to worry about some sort of weird vault with multiple combinations or timers or anything like that there aren't any cameras necessarily i mean i'm sure there's cameras on the truck but we're not in a room full of them there aren't tons of innocent people around if you pick the spot where you hit the truck right but you've just got like two guys in that truck who have guns and they're gonna surrender if you've got guns or if you give them a chance to probably so it seems like the way yeah i just imagine there's a lot of money in there like 200 300 000 at least in my fantasy it's much more and the guy and i in my fantasy i don't have to hurt anybody i'm just i'm just so clever. I get all the money. Kyle, what did you think the number was?

According to the internet, it can be as much as $4-6 million, but more typically around $2 million. Damn. I see those things all the time. It's just those two guys. They do not always look on the ball i don't know they look okay i i think i saw a video of them getting robbed one time and they were good right they won i gotta find the video robbers one yeah

if i don't know if we're talking about the same video, but the one I saw, one of them in particular, was really on the ball and thwarted the robbery. Yeah, but that would be the way. I don't want to go inside of a fucking bank, though. That seems so... I wouldn't either. What if they have that button that locks the doors? What do you do there? I blast my way out.

What if glass is really hard to break? It could be that crazy glass that really hard to break it can be that crazy glass it's hard to break or then i've got my boy in a cyber truck ready to barrel into the front retrieve me oh that's a good idea burn down and the lid i'm sure that thing's not tracked they don't know every fucking millimeter he's driving that's where you're wrong we he busts in with the cyber truck we drive that really just to the other side of the parking lot. Get in an old Toyota Tacoma and then we're home

free to enjoy 40 minutes of wealth before we're gunned down in a highway. That sounds right. Yeah. But I've also brought lots of bombs. Bombs? Bombs, huh? Okay. I hope you have a plane. Yeah, yeah, a plane. Yeah.

I don't know. Where would not extradite me? What was it? Something Val Verde or something? Wherever P. Diddy is. You know what? How about I do this? Israel has no extradition laws with anyone. I have become Jewish.

I have a fake genetic test done. 23andMe confirms my Judaism. Then flee to Israel. Enjoy the money. I checked mine today. I got a little negro in me. Do ya? In the back, was he?

0.6%? You heard the little negro insert himself. He's so tiny you didn't even notice. It's 0.6%? I heard the little ego insert himself. He's so tiny you didn't even notice. 0.6% Like 0.1% Sub-Saharan African. Some small amount. That's where they're just throwing shit in. They got caught on that.

It's a trace amount. I don't know. Really? They got caught on just throwing things in? Taylor doesn't believe in 23andMe. He has some sort of weird aversion to it. I'm not sure what it is. No, they just change. It's that I don't think they're totally accurate. And they have admitted they'll throw stuff in like,

nah, throw a little African, throw a little Ashkenazi Jewish. So that's why you can put the same test in with your same spit, and it comes back different. My brother's report came back different both times. Totally. Yeah. One of them them it was like very different uh our percentage of like italian ancestry and the second one was markedly

higher than the first and the first one had much higher french in relation to it and it's accurate enough with the relative thing though that it shows a huge amount of my relatives that i didn't know existed that are like second cousins and um um like i have a great um aunt i guess my grandfather's sister is still alive i didn't know in charlotte north carolina somewhere so a lot of that stuff was that's kind of cool did you go pop in no he was a piece of shit i was gonna say your brother was a piece of shit i hear well maybe she's cool maybe she's like i totally agree he was and now you've got i noticed she didn't have any kids on there because you can see that i wonder i wonder if there's an inheritance to be had up there in charlotte yes press the flesh you can have your own little you could care for her for her last three that. That's one of my favorite expressions,

pressing the flesh. Yeah, meeting people. That should mean something dirtier. Nah. You gonna press the flesh, pappy? Nah, you idiot sumbitch! We ain't wanted our time in it here! We mass communicate!

What the fuck is that for? What are we talking about? I'm saddened that neither of you know that movie it's a brother where art thou one of the coen brothers gyms i saw that once about 20 years ago oh i've seen a dozen times i know the words to every song i know the whole soundtrack by heart the soundtrack's good i've listened to the soundtrack more than i have seen the film which is not a shame it's a it's a real fine film. I think it's dinner time. Look at that. Time just flies when you're having fun.

Alright, PKN 502.