Painkiller Already - PKN 509

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

all right pkn 509 we were just talking about guns and hunting and such before the show wondered kyle he brought up hunting is there a world where you save money hunting like i can tell you oh yeah it's pretty unlikely i think i think the most expensive fish you'll ever eat are the ones you've caught i disagree on that part too i think okay, look, it's, it's about how you go about doing either thing. So you can go and get a, um, what's it called? A, a Zebco 303 or whatever at the,

at the gas station, the cheapest ride, they make a $25 rod and just some basic shit. And you could go feed yourself. Now, if you go get a bass boat and 15, right? I know my,

I know I have friends who competitively bass fish throughout childhood and into adulthood and it's oh my god it's a fifty thousand dollar list and a thirty eight thousand dollar that and i'm gonna need 20 different rods each geared up for specific scenarios they don't bring one rod and change tackle they got five digits that's adorable they should get into offshore stuff each thing is you know like and it's but if you are subsistence fishing like you just need a rod right and tackle and stuff and so if you're in the right place like a net probably like i think that's if you're a villager off hawaii or something you probably fish with a net question mark i made a fish traps as a kid see with um all you need is like string and um chicken wire and you

sort of make this chicken this cylinder out of chicken wire and one end's capped off and the other is a funnel turned in so you can imagine with the funnel turned in it ends with the the pokey chicken wire ends sort of part of it together i guess is the travel to like if you live where the fish are you know if you're on the edge of the ocean or someplace with good fishing, that's one thing. But like if you're a fly fisherman, I doubt you're saving money with those trout you bring back. Yeah. I mean, if you're subsistence hunting or fishing. A flight to Alaska alone wiped out any profit I would have made like the only people who would subsistence hunt or fish or people who are near that stuff like i i personally know multiple people who get like two or three deer every season and then the vast majority of the of the meat they're eating just like week to week is deer throughout the year like they get so much that they're like giving it away to people so like

maybe that's a frame of reference for what deer is worth and what they spent getting it. Cause I, I imagine I'm not a, I'm not a hunter. I do have a license to kill, but I, I haven't actually done it yet.

You, I could spend a lot. I could spend a lot getting the full costume, the, the expensive rifle and the scope that would let me shoot from three miles away. And necessarily most likely I, I can just imagine all the fucking potions i put on myself to smell like a deer in heat i don't know um

but you could probably do it cheaper and make a profit when you're when you're like i i always just assume deer are everywhere like they are here in the midwest i'm sure in georgia everywhere that in north carolina like that like you don't need ten thousand dollars worth of equipment like the people i know who do this the cost of it is a box of bullets and like the same gun they've been using for a decade you don't need a good gun at all like i've killed deer with a black powder rifle i've killed deer with bows um it's a shotgun a good choice no no i mean i mean if you can get the deer within 50 yards and you want if you want to use buckshot or if you're going to have a spec now you need a special slug gun and a scope to go on your slug gun and now why why am i shooting a

slug don't rifles do this but way better yeah yeah okay what you do is go by like i would i would always go back to a remington 700 something that's new in the box for like five six hundred dollars and i wouldn't get a good scope because you don't need a good scope you're shooting 100 or 200 yards at the most you know two or two or three hundred dollar scope is going to be fine too but you're killing it for a thousand bucks sure and then you kill a deer that weighs 100 pounds It dresses out to 50 pounds and it costs you 150, 200 dollars To get it dressed So you've got meat for 3 or 4 dollars a pound

And you can just repeat that really quickly Like I would kill I killed 40 deer almost one year Just myself He had a special license from the warden For that I'm like P. Diddy I'm in the clifftown You're going to call in from a bungalow and hunt for us about this and be like i'm sorry about

those deers i kill your chain i made no i killed like 35 that year my my dad allegedly killed like another 25 or 30 and you know you could kill a deer almost every day when when we would go if you're you're not getting that big like trophy buck, but if you're hunting for meat, man, it's just easy. It's just easy to do that. You could absolutely subsist on that.

And it wouldn't be like some Davey Crockett shit where your main life's goal is like, I don't know. I got to kill a deer this week. It'd be like, yeah, the fridge is full. The freezer's full. Like the whole season we have meat for the next year and a half.

Cause I went hunting for two weeks. That's always the problem with like deer hunters who do this meat thing is they end up giving dozens of pounds of sausage and, you know, backstrap or whatever to their friends and family because they get an industrial fridge for their fucking garage. And then three deer in, it's like, all right, well, there's just no possible way to fit more meat in here. And this is more than enough for the next 15 months.

I don't know if it's a hunting friend or a tomato growing friend, because a tomato growing friend is pretty good. There's a lot of overlap in those friends. Like there's people who are like subsistence hunting probably also have a little garden. So I don't think you're allowed to sell venison you know that you that you've hunted and procured in the wild i think any and all venison you're eating must be like a farmed deer i would imagine i don't know too much about the legality but i'm sure it is because i know that i can't go you know kill a deer and sell its meat on the internet yeah i mean and have you ever

gotten the fence in a deer like i've made fun of the Indians a thousand times for not inventing the fence, but you need to invent a tall fence for a deer. You don't even need to, like, fence them in. Like, if you're deer hunting around here, like, you could be with some retard who misses badly and scares all the deer off, and, like, 35, 40 minutes later,

a whole new crop of deer is going to be in that area because there's just so many of them wandering about especially if you you know if you're in an area where there's any industrial farming going on if there's a thousand acres of soybeans corn or wheat nearby like that place is populated by deer it's it's populated by lots of big healthy deer and they need to be thinned out. Like there's too many. And they take pretty, pretty solid, you know, not as good as a cow cause they're not as fatty. But I like, um, some people really dislike it. I don't mind it one bit.

We always did. Um, oh, what was it? I don't know. You'd like tenderize it with a hammer and eat it with gravy. What is that? You do like a, like a veal piccata you'd get at an Italian restaurant or something. Anyway, it's real good

and if you really wanted to subsistence hunt, you could do it and be fine. You would hit the snowball where all of a sudden you'd go from no food to too much food so fast and then if you really wanted to, then you could sell that rifle back to... You'd go from no food to too much food so fast.

And then if you really wanted to, then you could sell that rifle back to – you'd take that rifle back to the pawn shop then, you know what I mean? You're on the struggle bus, and then suddenly your crops are coming in. You got all – everything's great. And if you're a real badass, you get out the bow and arrow, and then you're only in for pennies. Make your own bow and arrow like a red man. What do you think the easiest subsistence method is? Is it fishing? Is it farming?

It depends where you live. Definitely not farming. Farming is much harder than fishing or hunting. If you're by a lake and you make one of those fish traps like I was talking about, you can sling that thing out into the water every day with a big chunk of, I don't even know what it was some sort of corn bait or something oh my god like every

night would be a fish fry for the whole group like there'd be a dozen fish in there maybe every survival show i watch is not like that at all at all they're out there freezing their ass off in cold water or something going days between never catching anything until like a clearly planted fish is found on the beach practically still in the cell phone wrapping we would we would capture all there was a pond that was going to be um like bulldozed down and turned into farmland and we went and caught all of the catfish out of it one of those traps that's how effective they were we caught all the catfish that were in the pond and took them to our pond um and we also like bought a thousand eleven hundred catfish or something like that and they just sort of stocked

it yeah yeah so we always my grandparents have a pond that they stocked probably three years ago because we used to do a lot when we were you know we used to do a lot more fishing at one of their ponds on their property and the thing about catfish is they're like reptiles and that they will keep growing and growing and growing and growing as long as they have sufficient food and so like we kind of like went two plus years after they stocked it without really doing much fishing in that pond and then we went to go do it last time i was there just a few about a month or so back and they were snapping every single line my grandpa had because they had grown so outrageously big that like he had to order like 12 pound line because some of these catfish are fucking absurd. Like they, they know, like they're like little,

little stupid dogs. Like when he drives his, his gator with all the feed in the back of it to throw in that little, you know, that not a little pond, pretty good size pond. Like they all know the exact area that he throws it in. And so there's like teaming,

you know, boiling, like they're, they're freaking out, excited for it and then you throw it all in there is a carp a catfish a tiger cat they're different okay carp do that as well the decorative carp koi you've probably seen those before uh they do that as well it's pretty neat like you said they know you're there they're very excited they're splashing

on the water and i've heard they're bad eats whereas catfish are delicious eats if you're not you know a picky bitch and if you know the trick to it which some people are like oh it tastes so fishy you just soak it in cold salt water after you clean it for like an hour and then you're solid you're good it gets rid of that fishy taste if that's a problem for you but i i love catfish i could eat fried catfish every day it would would probably kill me, but I could eat it every day. It's not that bad for you. I mean, the fried part isn't great for you. I bet you could prepare it in a way that's terrible for you.

You could steam it. You could steam it with lemon like the way you do trout. Petition to vote Kyle off the show. If I went to your house and you served me steamed catfish there's fight that's fighting words but whole the whole catfish um no we would we would do trout like that with like lemon and some herbs put them in a little foil bag and throw them on the grill and um that's really

fucking good so i just imagine i don't know if catfish would be as good if you had fillets in there like that and did the lemon thing it'd be fine like but it wouldn't be as good as you know a trout in that way there's a reason you fry catfish that's just the tastiest way to make southern people like fried food yes yeah my and my grandma makes the most spectacular fried chicken and fried catfish as a southern woman. So I gotta have it every time I'm there. She'll order like 10... She's keeping the QVC food department in business.

She's ordering... We're down there for a day and a half. She's ordering cheesecakes. She ordered a fucking enough filet mignon from some steak producer in Kansas City. And it's like, why are there so many people around here? She just get,

she's done that before. And is your grandmother from Missouri? Yeah. Southern Missouri. Yeah. That's like parallel to New Jersey. Irrelevant. She's calling her,

he's calling her a Southern woman several times. It's below the Mason Dixon line. They had slaves. Oh, you thought on the right side. Oh, you don know no the the south like have you spent any time at all in like the the boot heel of missouri uh just driving through i've driven through it a few times so no oh it is the south like they are they they see themselves as the south they talk like they're in the south uh i've noticed they don't seem to care as much about

the uh don't care as much about the civil war as some of the georgia alabama people just more the more personal for us it's more personal for you it was only 200 years ago taylor's still have the scorch marks like kyle sounds like a yankee i would imagine my grandparents probably sound similar to the way kyle's dad talks unless Kyle's dad has no accent also which would be remarkable if you guys both dodged that we didn't either dodge it I make an

effort you know I think Kyle's father does too Kyle's father sounds like Kyle to me I imagine I'm making this part up that like Kyle he could also fit in in the deep south if he wanted to but when he talked to me he sounded like me yeah Kyle goes, he sounded like me. Yeah.

Kyle goes around. He's like, yeehaw, gentlemen. Yeehaw. I've seen Kyle around like true southerners, and he can fit right in if he chooses to. Yeah. Just give him the droopy eye. He'll slow down a little bit. You got to slow down a little bit.

They hate that he starts speaking really quickly trying to get a thought out real quickly like look I need you over here you need I'm gonna be over here you go up there with it whoa slow down whoa what's the hurry it's like dude do you have a comprehension issue is this from the lead paint

is this lead paint it must be it didn't just affect the black yes it didn't just affect the black. Yes, it didn't just affect the black several generations ago. Forever. I just want to say, anybody who's listening, that Arena Breakout Infinite game,

the most poorly named game of all time, is legit really fucking good. So sounds like a chinese named game it is break out infinite we add gundams he told me it was a um a copy of escape from tarkov yeah okay whatever so i hop on twitch and watch it played a little bit holy smokes it's a copy copy like i basically the when you hit inventory in game this is in the middle of a raid your character's health and his pockets and like his backpack and such are arranged on the screen in a particular way they copied that like you wouldn't know if you're new to the game you wouldn't know which one you were in it is a copy

copy and i'm like good it's you know go on fair look it is a copy copy it but but that's mostly if you only play those two games and were existed in that vacuum you would say copy copy i i do say it's a copy copy but i think that a lot of games use that sort of grid inventory helmet vest rig sort of thing I think that's become the same spot like that I don't know about that the pockets is this gamma butthole storage no no they

a lot they copied a lot they really did and good because fuck that Russian game I mean I'm with the Chinese now okay the good guys I really didn't like that bullshit they pulled with that $250 version, and they lied in the advertising and everything. And I didn't like the backpedaling and the apologies.

That shit pissed me off. And here's the Chinese people with a free-to-play game. If they monetize it, I hear the way it's monetized on mobile is they sell you the gamma container for $3 a month. If you think about it, it's going to take a long time to get to $20 months

to get to $60. If I play this game for 20 months, I'm going to be happy with my $3 a month. We pay about $140 for Escape from the Dark. Plus tax. That would be the only thing you pay to do in the game i think that you can all if you wish you can buy other things you like like currency like

in-game currency but i wouldn't do that and none of the streamers will do that and so like it'll kind of be the not cool thing to do and people will kind of give you shit if you do it i bet like it's good i might part of part of the fun shit if you do it, I bet. I might do it. Oh, if you're just popping in? Let me say this about the game. This is a game with none of that RPG shit where Landmark's character at the end of Tarkov White, where he plays

12 hours, 8-12 hours a day, sometimes 24 hours streams and shit, every day like a goddamn job, and he's really good. You gotta count that in too. He's not a regular player. He's like the top 0.1 playing continuously every day his character is like a juiced up professional athlete compared to yours he can jump over walls that you wouldn't even look at you like you could jump over that he's super mario brothers all of a sudden he can run faster and all of his footsteps are quieter

he listens better he can hear farther yeah he hears you coming before he just because he's he's listened more yeah they got rid of all that shit so in this game you can jump right in as a complete noob level one and that's the other thing you have access to all of the guns and gear there's a few things you've got to unlock but right out of the bat you can get a meta gun with a meta grip with a metascope the best armor you can get the best armor piercing ammo all that shit right at right when you start the game you know the market is just open to go on and the buying system and equipping system is also streamlined and quick the healing system is so streamlined there is some value in it to me to be able

to pay to win. And the reason is this. The current version of me is the filthiest of filthy casuals. And if you're telling me for $3 I can play with Kyle all night but not beg him for guns and health packs and food and stuff like that, here's my $3. That way I'm not a drain

on the people I'd like to play with. Yeah, the gun fighting reminds me a like to play with yeah it's uh it's the gunfighting reminds me a lot of pub g and it's squad based um right now it seems like you don't really have an option you can't play solo oh you just kind of get mixed in with it varies i guess i don't know how it varies but sometimes i'll be with three people and sometimes just a just one other person will pair me with um So I never know how it just assigns you randoms. If you don't have your own party and you're just joining a lobby, like you might be alone or you might have three people with you.

Yeah, I try to, I avoid to them and stuff. Generally speaking, I would say most of the time they talk because, and a lot of them are Tarkov players. You'll hear them and be like, scab over here.

And I'd be like, I got a nose guy knows it's mostly tarkov people switching over it feels like or at least people who are familiar with tarkov because it's their friendly fire no there's no friendly fire and we've got name tags on our heads that's the other thing that makes this fast and like we you push into a building and you can do these strats where we pincer people and stuff and not, and do it full speed. There's no like, what, what kind of hat are you wearing again?

Right. There's no pulling your sights up and like taking that extra 300 milliseconds to go safe, safe, safe. Ah. And like, you know,

not team killing and all that shit's gone. It's, it's a breath of fresh air. Is there anyone new playing it or is it like just a migration of tarkov players um like is it like bringing in new i guess you can't oh well it's got its own so arena breakout is a is one of the biggest mobile games in the world so i'm sure any of those mobile gamers who are into that um are obviously coming over to the PC version. I know that for sure because I run into Chinese people occasionally.

He tried to pronounce my name and I didn't laugh at him. Well, I didn't voip the laugh, but it was funny. Clearly a Chinese. It was Iphopio Kao. Kao. I was like, yes. Random mash full of letters. Yes.

Sign at halfway through. Yeah. So there's depth. So I'm interested to see how many people they gave away a hundred thousand beta keys, keys really quick. And you see people clamoring for a beta key and all the the stream chat oh so if i wanted to play i wouldn't

necessarily be able to get in you wouldn't be at all able to play because there's no um you'd have to wait until the next time twitch is doing a beta key drop and i don't think they're doing anymore but they might then you watch landmark for you know an hour and then it unlocks the game and then 24 hours after that you get access to the beta it was a steam games that are there these are tarkov and this are steam right no um tarkov's got its own launcher um right now this beta is in its own launcher but i i believe that it's going to be on steam is Is there a way to see the total number of players? I was just curious if Tarkov had, I don't know, 50,000 people online on average or 150,000.

Sometimes Nikita will talk about it. Usually when it's the storyline he'd like to tell. I don't know if Kyle was implying he lies about it, but that's possible too. Yeah, he's only going to tell you when things are going. He's going to look, oh, today was a record-breaking day. Oh, good. How was last Thursday?

Don't worry about it. How was last Thursday around 9 a.m.? Well, not as good as today. It wasn't record-breaking. Well, it wasn't quite a record-breaking day. It's a non-zero chance that day broke a record too. Yeah. I really hope. I don't want bad things for Nikita, I guess.

But it's like. Why would you? He's just a video game guy. Well, because he. Because he did a bad business move and ruined his golden goose. Seems like he's getting his comeuppance here with this Chinese ripoff. I heard Landmark say this, and he's 100% right. For a few years, several years ago, maybe 2019, 2020,

Tarkov was the best game in the world. But they didn't know, the makers of Tarkov didn't understand what about their game made it great. And so they whittled away at the fun parts of the game in an effort to be more realistic because they thought people wanted a realistic ultra realistic thing and with changes like the uh the inertia so and the the weight systems and and and their their continuous struggle against the cheaters and the real money transactions led them to do things like if we're in the game and i kill you taylor

you're a bad guy on the other team or just playing on your own. And you've got a lot of, your gear might've cost you 1 million rubles to create, to buy each of the pieces and assemble the rifle and put everything together, all the ammo and everything. When I take your shit out

and I try to sell it, I don't get nearly that. There's this huge depreciation because I'm not allowed to sell those pieces on the flea market to other players to prevent cheating and real money transactions. In that moment right there, they made killing players almost worthless and a huge risk. They made the risk huge because I lose a million worth of shit. But the reward, they whittled down to maybe a quarter of that.

And now you're in a scenario where it's like, whoa, maybe I don't want to take this fight. to maybe a quarter of that. And now you're in a scenario where it's like, whoa, maybe I don't want to take this fight. I think I'm going to go the long way around at night and sneak around and just hit filing cabinets because I can do that and make way more money than getting in a fight with two people, which I'll die half the time at least.

So this game did the opposite. Holy shit. The loot in the game is mostly kind of crappy. It's like, oh, glue, 400 coin. I'm going to need more than than that but then you kill a player and his shit is legit worth i don't know 200 000 rubles what he's got on it's it's uh they even steal the ruble part from it no they call it coin with a k uh they didn't do like yeah it would be funny if they called it what are are the coins called? There's Bitcoin. No, it's not yen.

It's yuan. What's the other coin called, Kyle? The less valuable coin? Ethereum. No, it's in-game and it's... Oh, there's dollars and there's euros. Dollars, euros, and of course there's Bitcoin. And then there's something else in-game.

Anton used to always tell to invest in them. Gosh, I can't remember the name of it. The only other big crypto coin I know is Ethereum. Oh, yeah. I know what you're thinking. The GP coin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.

It'd be funny if they had GP coins because that's an invented Tarkov thing. It might be a streamer. So many of those Tarkov items are streamer. That's where tarkov is brilliant taylor they have they have this litter of bullshit in the game that you need to collect for any number of reasons and so they give the streamers their own in-game items so like there's a bottle of landmarks rat poison and because you call sneaky players rats or whatever

and so there it is and it says landmarks rat poison it's like call sneaky players rats or whatever and so there it is and it says landmarks rat poison it's like one streamer always wears a beanie cotton is his name so cotton's beanie is in the game and there's a beanie in the game yeah for him yeah it's still his mask you know the is it called a pestilence mask yeah uh there's that there for pistilli there's a bunch of them and And I think that did two things. One, look, everyone playing this game is kind of in the streamer universe. Like, you know, they watch or they play. They're not unknown to them.

And I think it gave the streamers a little more loyalty and it gave the weaker streamers something to aspire to. You know, if you're a second tier streamer, someday you're hoping to get your in-game item. Dude, I bet now is the moment for the second and third tier streamers in you're hoping to get your in-game item dude i bet now is the moment for the second and third tier streamers in the tarkov world because if landmark and all then pastilli and all these guys are shifting over to i don't know arena breakout oh they have very different business models so pastilli's business model online online is heavily based in the teaching of Tarkov.

Landmark's business is heavily based in the playing of Tarkov. And it's a big difference because that means that Pastille does tons of very in-depth guides. And he does these in-depth long-form series where he plays the game in a hardcore manner, for example, and tries to max the game out. Lamar doesn't do any of that shit. He just fucks people up. So he can fuck people up in another game and it's no skin off his knee or

whatever. But, but, but still, he would be leaving behind a catalog that he's no longer sending. Sure. But still, he's locked in on this game and its mechanisms.

Well, he's also a wealthy man so if he if he really wanted to you know he could do what he wants and he could i don't know that this game is going to have the in-depth have you seen what game still he plays for fun when he's not doing tarkov i've seen him play everything i've seen play rust aoe um everybody bounces around yeah he plays a lot of shit i watched him i watched part of his stream where he was playing aoe and it was like oh this is fun i want to i want to play against pastille in age of empire see if i can if i can knock him out yeah i hope i hope tarkov dies i hope that this game flourishes and i hope that these chinese people are cool about the monetization. Honoraboo? Yeah. I hope they're Honoraboo. Okay? Okay?

So far, I mean, it's like they got their finger on the pulse and they really know what people want. These gunfights are so goddamn fun. Are you good at it yet? Like, as good as you were at Tarkov? Yeah. Like, I'm rusty right now,

but the controls are fucking sick. I got my foot pedals and you know i know how to shoot so like shoot people in the head with an ak and they die what other games could you move like foot could you use foot pedals in any game at all yeah yeah yeah oh like rainbow six if i wanted to play that any game with lean um i would i would want to use the the pedals for that just to get it off my mouse and off my keyboard and free some shit up for it's nice to have my does your middle mouse wheel move side to side yeah but i would be kind of scared that i would inadvertently do a thing with it it it does

but but oh my god it does that's that's my preferred lean, but I'm not saying Kyle's wrong. That's what I like. I had no idea. Foot pedals are also kind of a different game. It's like get involved a little bit. I have a dumb reason. I use my foot pedals for streaming stuff. People being

maybe they're... Oftentimes when I stream, they might say things about my children. I had a foot pedal that just cancelled shit like that and so oh it's like locked to chat uh it's the voice oh voice chat yeah am i saying tts is what it's called that's what i would kill i did not know that i feel like i'd forget that there were... I bet there's something you'd like mapped really conveniently in your game. To pull up the map or something? Actions per minute or actions per second. I don't know how they measure it.

It's important in those games. You're like, oh, this is a nice way to zip to home. I don't know. That would be good. I customed all my hotkeys. When you guys are playing PC games games like the wasd setup i know kyle holds his hand like a normal home row yeah instead of like i'd shift it to the right i have like left ring finger on q middle finger w index on d only for uh only for aoe i go regular wasd

for for all the other games just because q is super important for for a lot of hotkeys are you guys like do you map stuff like way over there like k and l yeah he yeah yeah so i i can't do that because i have to i would have to look down because i don't just jump all the way over there i use m and uh i use n h and y i don't usually go to UJ and M, but I can very easily grab Y, H and N. I mean, I can reach it, but I don't feel confident in my ability to accurately smack Y. I do. Instead of hitting T. I'm already there.

With my index is on F and I'm just holding the home row. So I'm really close to going over there. I'm with there. My index is on F, and I'm just holding the home row. So I'm really close to going over there. I'm with you, Taylor. I think of myself, maybe people would disagree, I'm pretty good at WASD, but after I throw a grenade, there's no guarantee we're going right back to WASD. We might be E Oh, wow. EF and G or something.

The G is a reach for you. I see. I see. See, that's. Oh, no. I got G unlocked. Shift G is select all docs. Okay.

I got to select all my. No, I could do. You know what I do? I use shift T for a lot of stuff. I hit control with like this part of my palm and I can WASD while holding that. Oh, scary. Yeah. That's run or squat in a lot of games.

I use the flat part of my pinky for control. Okay. Because it's already over there. And then I curl my thumb in for alt. Anyway. Yeah, me too. I don't know why, but you know, it's got that, I don't know what you call the nub that's on J and F

on a standard keyboard, that knurling. But I was like, wait, y'all aren't keyboard that knurling but i was like wait y'all aren't using the knurling how do you how do you fucking like what do you like look down and plant your hand i have rubber keys they feel different yeah that's pretty cool i have those like uh my was d is also like raised like on the front of the w and the side of the a and the side of the oh yeah they have like yeah yeah it has little wings on it kind of and so i that's just this corsair keyboard came with those wasd's and so i popped off the old ones and put these on and was like yeah i'm a fucking gamer now i mean i went to amazon and bought my rubber keys specifically so that i could find them again

i want to be a gamer and so i'm going to buy one of those orange rubber covers that they used in keyboarding class. I remember this so well. I can feel the tactile response of those when your finger touches and it slightly pulls it off of the key on the upstroke. Were you on a keyboard? Because I was on a typewriter.

We had those IBM... Mechanical typewriters? Keyboards, not a typewriter. We had those IBM... Mechanical typewriters? Keyboards, not a typewriter. It was like those, I guess, gray, loud... Let me tell you, it is satisfying to operate a typewriter. A mechanical typewriter. That thing is stinging. If you can type, you type so fast.

This is with the blinds? Yeah, I'm a good typer. I don't know what blinds are, but it's got those hammers hammering the letters down. But you're talking about the arms, the hammers, that kind of typewriter? Yeah, but it's a mechanical one, so it's keyboard level. You're not

like pressing. I'm so well aware of those. I was alive as we transitioned from those to the kind with the single ball that punched the thing. Yeah. Whoa, you were there for that? I like that.

But that's all my middle school had. And that's when I took typewriting. Yeah, that's what it would have been called. It wasn't even called keyboard. It was called typewriting. Oh, I had keyboarding. Nah, you didn't keyboard for that. That five years of age difference between us is showing right there.

And the poorness of my middle school as well. I also remember popping the floppy disks into the computer over there when we had enough time and playing those 8-bit games. I loved the way to do the final push of the floppy disk into it because it kind of clicked and I always felt like it was like, yeah, this is like an important tech maneuver. You're loading a magazine into a weapon

almost. Then you press that button and it pops it back out for you. We should go back to flop. How much space was on a floppy disk? Eight megabytes. No, it was 1.44 megabytes. Really? That was 1.44 megabytes. Really? That's not a lot.

Is there nothing that's 8 on them? I have the number 8 in mind. Let me Google it. We're talking about the 3.5 inch floppy disk that's actually plastic. Yeah. Did we have to bring them to class? We had to write our names on them because they were teaching us how to save files? We were on disks not like before for that when i took uh i took computer applications

in the 10th grade it's 1.44 there was a brief period where they like double capacitated it to 2.8 maybe you think maybe a modern one could hold very little information do you remember like sliding that little window and then letting go and letting it snap yeah oh yeah it shouldn't do that really i mean that's i mean i'm guessing it's just like you slide that window you see the the disc that that's being read and written so it seems like a bad idea to fuck with that i remember i made this big video project uh and then like ocd fucking me was like playing with the tape it was 16 millimeter tape and i'm and i i ruined the whole the whole video days of filming stuff we made our own jackass

video it was very upsetting it was very upsetting yeah that upsetting. I hate to recreate the stunts. Well, that wasn't happening. Nobody wanted to come back for that. You couldn't get unpaid high school actors. We need to film this again. Yeah, we were electrocuting each other and shit in the backyard.

Did you ever rewatch your jackass tapes? Well, no, I ruined it. I ruined it by touching the fucking film. One try and you were done. Well, I mean, it was for a school project. It wasn't my camera. It was the teacher's camera. I broke the camera too. Oh, you were really

upset. I don't think I broke it. It got broke somehow and I remember thinking, this isn't my fault. You think it was? I genuinely don't remember the circumstances, but I didn't feel guilty. I was only afraid that I would be falsely blamed. I remember that

being the feeling at the time. Maybe somebody else did it. I think when I returned it, it was good. It was like, we were recording with this yesterday. It's good. I gave it to you and now you're saying it's bad days later without checking it right after I gave it to you and now you're saying it's bad like like days later without checking it right after i gave it to you i think it was something like that but it doesn't matter with rental cars where i return a rental car with a scratch but i know in my heart it must have been there when they gave me that car like i i would

have noticed you know i like i would have like i wasn't here for that scratch i didn't do it i didn't touch anything you know if you hit something with your car. You know they've been hitting Tesla rentals for not filling up their gas tank on the return? Really? What? It's a regular thing. What company? I don't remember which company, but one of the major ones. There's only like three, right?

Hertz Enterprise. It must be a pain to do it. It's one thing to stop by the airport on your way in and fill it with overpriced gas it's another to like allocate 45 oh i don't think they want that like like they're just hitting them with the gasoline fee because like for they're saying oh 40 gallons slack you're missing 40 gallons of fuel here holy we would have got in trouble trying to to pull that i remember amy used to put prepaid

fuel on fucking everybody's car and then they'd come back with it full up and i'd they'd be like why is there a charge for 52 and i'd be like looking at the contract and be like amy you bitch go in there and remove it by that point she got credit for the sale anyway the sale that we weren't getting fucking paid for so why they like I've talked about it before. I learned in this management course how you get what you incentivize. Right. If they give you a piece of insurance, a piece of prepaid gas like that, they probably sell a lot more of it. Instead, they just ask you and nag you, but they don't pay you.

They're not getting what they want. Yeah. Yes. Yes, you're right. It wouldn't have to be a lot. If I give you $1 for every freaking $20 insurance package you sold, you'd probably go for that extra like $30 a day. It's the interview in office space is what you're describing. You are not incentivized to do any more than the bare minimum to not get fired.

That's it. Jeff said before, my area manager took me aside at one point and was like, Taylor, your sales are really rough. And I was like, interesting. But I'd be like, but look at the contract totals. Is that hard for you?

65 just today. Firing through them. So I'm keeping our score high keeping that car sales i had just the opposite experience because every every bit of it is incentivized like like everywhere it's incentivized i get paid on what the insurance on what um the the financing stuff so i'm incentivized to set them up you know going into there and to work as a team member with this guy because I get a piece of

his cut. If I get 10 cars sold instead of 9, oh my god, that's like an extra $2,000 almost. If I get 20 cars instead of 19, it's like $5,000 more

sometimes. It's a huge bonus. You're getting paid like 5% extra on everything else you've done the month earlier. I worked in tech support early in my career. This is a computer software tech support. And we had four bonuses. They were each worth $100 to us, which was more in like 1995. And they were all group bonuses. Nothing. Zero was an individual bonus. So if you're stuck on some accounting question and you want to like bump it off me, it's in both of our interests for you to get this thing solved quickly. One of the bonuses was for the number, the percentage of calls closed on the first call in, right? Customers really like having their questions answered

this on their first call. They hate it when they have to call back or you need to research or whatever. And then on our side, if we answered on the first call, it takes us like eight minutes to solve a problem. If it's not solved on the first call, that shit goes for duration for days, but in human time, it can go hours as we play phone tag and shit. So they would bonus us for closing stuff on the first call and if you're like let me put you on hold and then you ask me a question and i know the answer i'm incentivized to give it to you and to help you hit your goals and like they're all team-based goals i don't know why i said your goals to help us hit our goals they just didn't have realistic

goals there where like it'd be like what kyle's saying with the car sales except it'd be like hey kyle you don't get any how about how about this you sell cars but you don't get any money from any of them until you sell 70 in the month and then everything after that you know the dealership only sells 350 yeah that's where you're gonna have to really work at it to get to the like the the only time... Like I would go... I'd be fucking... I'd be Wall Street money never sleeps as soon as my manager, Tim, would every once in a while be like, sales are terrible. First person to sell eight of these insurance packages in this combination today gets to go home.

And suddenly I'm... Gordon Gekko over there. I was fucking Gordon Gekko making sales. I was leaving after like an hour and a half of that it was it was awesome but then he had to change that because the area manager found out he's like you're just letting them go home and then like having someone else clock them out nine hours later if they hit the sales you can't do that oh it was we were they talk about time theft i was fucking we we me and my team there at that airport time thieves absolute time and it didn't matter it'd be like well there were some people

who we wouldn't clock in for after a while because they would and when i say like time thief i'm kind of being dramatic it'd be like hey is uh is uh is steve gonna be here and it's like yeah steve uh he's actually showing up in two minutes you know but he's gonna get in two minutes late so you know just just clock it in for him there was one guy who abused that system so bad that like eventually no one could like clock each other in at all they have like a camera in there and this dude would be like he'd call ahead and be like hey clock me and i'm pulling in and like someone would clock him in because we trusted you know this is what all the rest of us did hey i'm i'm walking i'm walking in from the lot right now and i'm going to start on the return

lane the reason he's still in bed as he's making he would literally like he just wouldn't show up he'd be like miami hours later he's in yeah that that was a i did that in high school just my high school you get detention if you came like even one minute late you had a 45 minute detention but my dumb ass eventually figured out you know if you're an hour late you also get a 45 minute detention i can make this work for me oh yeah so if i i'd be like in the hallway hearing the bell go off because i was 20 seconds late for class just turn back around go to my bike dude this one that same guy who was always like stealing time and lying ruining that

that that system for the rest of us a system based on trust you know when i when i call my manager you know from the return lane and i'm like or if on my cell phone walking in i'm like i'm here clock me in it was to save me you know the five minutes to walk all the way in and then all the way back out. This guy was stealing hours of time, which nobody else did. And he also was selling weed at the airport, which is like... Is that extra dangerous? I need somebody to buy weed at the airport. Every time I'm flying out and I've got all that legal weed

from Colorado. Maybe once or twice I bought weed from him at the airport. Once or twice, maybe. Just as a joke for the show. Didn't do it all the time. Constantly. I'd have flown there for it. Are there extra laws? the like like for example mailing

less laws is oddly bad you know like apparently selling it at a fucking mall is one thing and mailing it is a thousand times worse for reasons i don't understand is the airport extra bad i don't think it actually like i never thought it was like bad what he was doing. I thought it was bad because he was having people drive to the airport while he's working so that he can go out to the return, not to the pickup taxi spot

and then give them weed and then come right back in. You're at work and you're moonlighting as a drug dealer and no wonder you're taking so long. Oh, you sound like you envy his ambition. I wonder what he's up to. A hustler.

Dude, he used to lie on contracts so bad in a way that would make even Amy blush. Think about, no, but that's a great way to sell drugs. TSA doesn't fuck with with marijuana they won't even like i i wouldn't try it but from what i understand if you were flying from one legal state to like through a non-legal state like nobody's gonna take your weed nobody's gonna fuck with your drugs like they're not going to tsa is not upset about that not in the slightest they're looking for bombs bombs. I don't even think the drugs sniffing... I don't think they have drug dogs anymore. They've got bomb dogs.

If they had drug dogs, I'd have been detected several times just because I'm blazed as I walk in there. If I'm flying out of a legal state, oh my god, when I get to that airport, I'm in the parking lot, like the satellite parking lot, just smoking every drop

of everybody's drugs because I always fly out last so I've got I've pooled everyone's drugs and I'm in that parking lot just rolling one out that's not even enjoyable Kyle I'm taking all the edibles oh it's not one of my friends

I've never had DMT LSD and cannabis at the same time I was talking to a friend of mine just just recently and he has to fly to to new york pretty often for work and he was like you know i wanted to be high in the airport and so i took a bunch of edibles like what kyle was saying and smoked my little disposable vape pen a bunch of times before i threw it out before i you know went through security on the plane. And he's like,

I got like to the very front of security. And I realized I'm in New York and like, I'm visibly like, like phasing through walls level high. And I have to take my jacket off. And it's then that I realized I'm wearing the Trump mugshot t-shirt. And he's like, and I was so high. I thought people were going to be mad at me for wearing that.

And so I walked through and I was just so stoned. I started walking through the metal detector and it went off. And I was like, oh, no. And the TSA guy goes, hey, I need you to take your belt off here. Give me your belt. And I was so stoned i looked at him through my bloodshot eyes and i was like like to keep he was like no man just to put it on the the slide so you can get it on the other side he's like oh okay this is great this is

all the time and i was like yeah that's a level of high at the airport that i wouldn't want it's it's a little rough because you've got to master yourself a little bit when you're about to i know i remember go approaching the metal detector and going through this like checklist the way you would if you had a child with you all right you're gonna get to there and you're gonna grab a basket don't snatch it it's some like going through the steps in my mind and creating a checklist and just trying to like like like don't make eye contact but don't avoid eye contact and it's like smile have a little act like you're having a little joke to yourself as you do this.

That's hilarious. When's the last time I blinked? Because I've, I've went through TSA so goddamn high that it was difficult. It was like hard to go through the process of shoes, like breath walking past the drug dog yeah yeah i've been so stinky going past that drug dog like like reeking of weed and being like it's like i have no weed on me there's nothing they could even get me for there's nothing in my bag but like i they have cute dogs that are just made to weed at home before i came i better hold my breath they'll have like some i don't know some cute ass dog

it's not even a Labrador or a German Shepherd or something. It's just a pretty dog, a Brittany or something, or a bird dog. I always imagine that those are the bomb dogs for some reason because I guess that dog doesn't bite people. I think of the

ones that bite people as the drug dogs. They're always German Shepherds, I feel like. Belgian Malinois. Well, you're familiar with those yeah those are those are mean dogs that's what dac was yeah well they're maybe not mean dogs but dac was a little ornery to you all right you know they're like they're like prey prey high prey drive working dogs that have the tools to destroy. Mean isn't an inaccurate word. I feel like that dog's right there with them.

It's very similar. That dog was... It doesn't commit the vast majority of child murders in the dog world. Only because their numbers are lower. If there were more Belgian Malamars, maybe they'd... Malamar. More Belgian Malamars.

You know they might be all dead. You can't resist the Belgian Malamar. They're delicious. I bet the Belgian would make a good Malamar. Chocolate. Chocolate? Milky Nuket? What is it really called? That's you. Malamars. Oh, Malinois.

Yeah. Malinois. There's no type of dog worse than the pitbull they should be made illegal they should they're mean to all the other dogs get rid of them no more did you see that chael sunnan is going to fight anderson silva they're gonna box oh no they're both retired right yeah? Yeah. Yes. Not all that far out of the retirement. Look, time flies, so maybe I'm crazy, but it feels like maybe two years ago when Izzy was fighting. How long ago did Izzy fight Anderson Silva?

I didn't let you finish before. I thought you were saying when Chael retired. I can look up Izzy very quickly. Izzy took it really easy on Anderson in their fight, I thought, because he has so much respect for him. He could have probably taken him out. But even still, I didn't think Anderson Silva looked. That was five years ago.

Oh, okay. Never mind. My money. Look, Chael beat the shit out of Anderson for like four minutes. Four rounds. Four rounds and most of that other one. He was doing a lot of wrestling i don't know i would i would yeah this is chill looks big to me and strong like he like he's always working out

and i see him with a mouse under his eye every now and then or like or like uh he talks about his workouts a lot or he'll have like friction burn on his face yeah practiced yeah he trains it's like he doesn't know any other lifestyle so he's he's not gone total sedentary but we're there i don't think anderson has either i just how old is he is he 45 he's so much heavier and he hasn't looked good for a long time like his last three or four fights he was kind of just a clotting fat version of chael sun and i didn't really watch his like bellator stuff with uh he fought maybe matt mitrione he fought maybe ador um he lost to tito over there yeah oh that sucks man i always want bad things it was funny when he talked about

it he's like i guess that makes me the worst fighter on earth because Tito Ortiz is the worst fighter on earth and he beat me, so now it's me. That's a pretty good line. Yeah. The only guys he beat there were Silva and Jackson, two other washed up fighters.

he lost. The other huge... I was going to say the other huge fight with Tyson and Paul I saw that press conference the other day it's where the fighters sit at the adjoining table and you got the guy in the middle talking shit and they're answering questions from the crowd I don't know how it got to this weird

place but Paul was like I'm looking at Mike right now and i want to kiss his big juicy lips and mike mike goes i saw a video you when you were 16 and it got me hard yeah he was doing a tic he's like you were doing a tic-tac dance and it gave me an erection nobody really knew i wish i could do a tyson about that the ultimate trash talk everyone's befuddled and uncomfortable don't you just think it's true? nah

in my head that seemed intimidating he threatens to rape people it's a thing he does not rape, I'm not saying that no the jury did though no they would never say that about mike they literally did i know i don't think he did it you don't think he did you know i i genuinely think him and michael

jackson were playing fucking pinochle look you know stop going you can potatoes potatoes oh that's my new one i like that no it's uh i don't i don't think it's the same thing i genuinely don't think mike raped that lady um but i do think that i don't know if mike i don't know i'm wishy-washy on michael jackson too if i'm being honest i know r R. Kelly did that shit because we saw it when we were in high school. That's how long... When I was in high school, we were watching him pee on little girls. They were our age, so it was legal. He just was in public

for 20 years after that. Chappelle was making jokes about it. He made a music video about R. Kelly's child abuse. And now R. Kelly is... How long is R. Kelly in jail? Oh, like the whole time. Oh, he's...

They're like, take it all. I think they put him away. I think R. Kelly's done, done. What about Diddy? Is Diddy gonna... He's not in jail right now. He's got statute of limitations on that Cassie-ass whooping he threw... That we saw.

And here's my theory on this. So, I'm not... I don't know shit about hip-hop or hip-hop community so i don't know who the fuck cassie was but it rang a bell cassie is the the one who popped up like six months ago and we heard that p diddy was paying her 30 million dollars to shut up and it was like oh that's weird okay because she was like gonna write a book and she was like you buy, that's weird. Okay. Because she was going to write a book, and she was like, you buy my book for $30 million or else. It was something like that happened, and it was public that it had happened. So now, all of a sudden, the video,

after he has been outed for all of the crazy shit that's been going on the last few weeks, and he's already fled to somewhere non-extraditable, suddenly, there's a video of Cassie getting the shit beaten out of her at a at a uh a hotel by p diddy and it's like maybe that's what she was holding maybe she maybe she had that and now that and now that his ass is in the wind with everybody her team feels that it's safe enough to leak it to cnn because that's what happened it got leaked to cnn by somebody but somebody's had

that tape for i don't know how old that is but it's past the statute of limitations so at least five years old maybe older and did you see the video woody of pd beating that girl up i did yeah i did inexcusable oh man you should watch it because it's i always joke with the chris brown thing and it's funny i you know bill burr's got the whole routine about it where it looks like man i'd like to know the whole backstory i don't like that he hit her that's not cool i like her a lot but what happened i'm curious because that's crazy that that one time he popped off and beat the shit out of that beautiful woman like she must have said some crazy shit huh like he's like there's no way

she just had her apron on pulling fresh cookies out of the oven honey they're done and then he beats like that didn't happen so but but then you see this peed anything and it's and you can put the scenario together in your mind there's no audio yeah there's no audio but but it's very clear that she waited until he got in the shower and was like, I got to get away. Now I can make my break for it. And she grabbed her fucking bag and she ran out of that room and she was to the elevators punching the button like in a goddamn movie. And this maniac comes storming out of the room and nothing but a fucking towel all the way down the fucking hallway, grabs her ass, hits her in the head, slams her to the ground.

Karate kicks her a couple of times in the ass while i'm sure he's berating her and i and then there's a part where he like throws a vase at her or some shit it's wild yeah look at this tech oh my um it's pretty awful there's no excuse for that i did joke i i went through all that with somebody last night and i was like but what if that bag was full of a million dollars worth of his money and she was robbing him what if we find out that's the contact but then he tweeted out what i did was inexcusable i am so sorry and it's like dude you can't apologize for beating a woman in a hotel like that's what his apology was pitch That'd be like OJ apologizing. We're beyond apologies, dude.

You just fucking don't say anything. Yeah, you can't behave that way. Deepfake that. Say, that's a deepfake. That is a deepfake. Really? I'd have my team making a different deepfake of Ronald Reagan beating Cassio

and Michael Jordan beating Cassio. No explanation. Nothing that made me second guess his sincerity. It was 100%. I am sorry. I am embarrassed. That is terrible. There is no excuse for it. That was the tone of it.

I think he nailed it as far as apologies go. Yeah, but it's no good. We don't accept those here, sir. I'm sorry. You beat the shit out of a woman mercilessly who was clearly doing nothing but trying to escape you yeah you think that was the one time he did that no that's what he did that's what he does in the hallways of public hotels yeah that's what he does in the hallways of public hotels and what does he do when he's like in his house surrounded by his people where they're

where he's the law like jesus christ yeah you can't even imagine like that that's what he's doing in the fucking elevator section of a marriott where anyone can walk out at any time and he has no fear no one sees the blame in her no one no one accuses her being a terrible terrible ninja like i i could escape i could wait till a man's in the shower and get out. If she'd worn practical shoes, she'd hit those stairs and she'd have been gone. If some prankster hadn't hit all the buttons on the elevator

she'd have been in the country. It is weird to me that she if you're not chained in your captivity, that you can't get away. She clearly tried. She had the right idea with the shower he didn't look wet yet yeah she needed to wait until she heard it turn on and then get to hustling because he was i just can't like i wouldn't feel comfortable leaving like it's

gauche and unacceptable to be walking around a hotel in a towel like that's how public a space it is like yeah there are kids out there there's other families like that's ridiculous put clothes on I like those videos where they fuck in the hallways you ever see this porno so they go out in the hallway and have sex well I'm sure that those videos like beforehand they're like you know third floor you know nah they get caught sometimes

I saw one they get caught and then she blows like the fucking like lobby guy then he kicks her in the ass well he mercilessly kicks her twice in the ass while berating her that's like uh that the the ass kicks were just so in anger all of it the the vase throwing was also in anger but the ass kicks was there any part of that that was done with joy no uh no i guess the whole thing wasn done in anger. But yeah, he's screwed.

I don't think anybody's going to take his side now. No, I heard Peloton dropped him. Stuff's coming out. Was Peloton, were they sponsoring him? No more of his classes. No more of their classes will feature Petey, this music. So it's kind of over for him now. He's fucked now.

Yeah. No, I think it'll be fine. People will still listen to that. He should rap about it. He should have owned it. And again, he's fucked now. Yeah. No, I think it'll be fine. People will still listen to that. He should rap about it. He should have owned it. And again, he's a billionaire. Maybe. Or close to it.

I would take that chain off. See, now that P. Diddy's doing stuff like this, Kanye's looking like a pretty chill dude. Pretty chill guy. If you just get him past like... It's like, Kanye, I'd love to ask you about fame and fortune and money but it's music but the the jew thing tonica so uh constant man i get it i get it you don't have to keep harping but you know i want to hear his thoughts on the israel palestine situation can you believe he hasn't said anything i bet it would catch us off guard it would be something where he's like that is israel's

ancestral homeland and as one of the as one of the true jews you know these european these whites they come in there they pretend to be jews and they're trying to take back homeland that is the jewish homeland but that's where they should but his take is that's where they should all be every jew needs to be found rooted out like he wants them all from the river to the sea should be all jews he could write a hook around that like that yeah he could write a song about no i don't i feel i feel like his take would take us by surprise it would be something about because hasn't or maybe i'm making it up in like superimposing black israelites on top of him like because black israelites are the ones who are like

we are the true jews not these white devils yeah he doesn't know he probably doesn't even know about that because he's like just Southern Baptist religious. I mean, he'll go on about being Jesus, but I think he's just like a Southern Baptist religious-wise. Oh, I didn't know what his religion was. He talks about Jesus and God a lot. I did know he made an album about Jesus. Oh, that's Yeezus. Yeezus, okay.

Didn't he make an album called Jesus is King or Christ is King? Jesus Walks, maybe? That's a really old one. I thought there was a new one. I only hear his music when it pops up on a YouTube playlist. When you're at a rally. When I'm at a Kanye rally. I can't believe the far right didn't grasp onto Kanye's music.

Because, I mean, their music sucks. I bet they don as like let because because i mean their music sucks i bet they don't they don't like him because he's black yeah that could be it yeah yeah i don't know any far right music remote possibly they like twisted sister turn you on to some good stuff twisted sister doesn't like him that we're not going to take it song they used to play that all the time until twisted sister's like i'm talking about not taking it from people like you we're talking we're we're all we're a famous band so we're also fucking shit libs so stop singing our song that's pretty much how it went yeah they've got kid rock like rage against the machine all their like public interviews are... Should be called

Do What You're Told. They're just... Get vaccinated and do what the government says. Rock on. It's like, you're so fucking gay, dude. Anyway. You guys want to call it a show?

I'm going to get something to eat. PKN 509. Get my protein.