Painkiller Already - PKN 514

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

P.K. and 514. What's up, boys? Hello there. Oh, not too much. I feel bad for Canada or Edmonton. They got second place. Did they almost come back? Was it 3-0 and then 3-3 and then?

They did. Kyle, the Stanley Cup Finals. The Edmonton Oilers went down 0-3 against the Florida Panthers, and then they won three in a row with all the momentum in the world, and then they lost by one goal last night. They should won one more game that's what I've done that's what I kept saying I'm like guys series isn't over yet yelling at my tv that didn't even watch it didn't didn't wasn't invested in this one really uh but what I did see that it happens every so often is that there's an MVP for the playoffs in every major sport, right?

Where they give the trophy and then there's an additional one. In basketball, there's a finals MVP. Okay. It's similar to that, except in the NHL, it's called the Conn Smythe trophy. And it's for the whole playoff. Very unwieldy trophy. It's a very unwieldy trophy. It's sharp.

wieldy trophy it's a very unwieldy trophy it's sharp and uh basically only like four times ever has a losing player won the con smith and there's a famous picture of sean sebastian jaguar a goalie for the anaheim ducks who like the the ducks lost and so there's a picture of him almost crying, holding this trophy, saying that he was the best goalie in the world for that span. And it happened last night with Connor McDavid, who had 42 points in his playoff showing over the course of it, which is a fucking insane amount to have. And he didn't even come out to accept it.

I thought that was cool. I don't know. How did you, what was your opinion of that? I'm totally fine with it. Like, he's not in the mood. They just made it to game seven of the cup finals, and they're trying to give him a trophy. Is there a cash prize?

Then I'm not coming. No, he's good on cash. He makes a lot of money. In basketball, there's MVP for the regular season, and last year it was a guy named joker jokic and this year he won mvp but last year he didn't and they were like hey you know how do you feel about winning you know mvp this year he's like oh i i like last year much more where i didn't win mvp but we won the championship i was like what a winner like i

really like that like he's like i don't give a fuck about this individual award i'm here to win chips yeah for sure like no one cares about like oh you're the con smith winner how'd the series go it's like well we didn't win the stanley cup it's like all right well i bet you'd trade that and all your regular season trophies for the stanley cup right any player would it's just it's the coolest trophy it's a cool trophy i'm a i'm a little so charles barkley um he was a great great great player but never won the championship and some people like to ride him like you give him a hard time about it and he's like i don't give a damn what all you

bus riders say you know if you're lebron if you're're Michael Jordan, if you're one of these guys, Hakeem Olajuwon, who drove the bus and you're telling me I never won a chip, yes, sir. But if you're one of these bus riders who was on Michael Jordan's team and won a chip, that means nothing to me. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm not saying it's about individual awards, but, dude, I could have won with some of those Bulls teams. They could have won in spite of me on that team. They could have won with 11 guys. You could have rode the bench for a while. Hopefully all the time. Come on, wouldn't you get some minutes?

You know how they would abuse me? It would be ridiculous. But anyway, yeah, if you're a bus rider, settle down about your championships. I saw a 17-year-old Chinese basketball player. She's 7'2 or 7'3. Six, I think. Yeah, it's like she's so much taller

than the rest of the 17-year-old girls that it's shocking. Like you've seen seven-footers in the NBA and it's like, whoa, that's a big one. Yes. He won in girls basketball. It looks like me going back to elementary school and just dominating.

Worse. It's worse. She's double their height. They're up to her boobs. Yeah. She just takes these little weak-ass jump shots over their heads, and she can take all her time because they can't jump high enough to block.

It's absurd. I saw something like that. I get suggested some sports stuff. That's bananas. That's insane. Look at the black team. That's who she's playing against. Oh, these are not going to go well.

Oh, no. They can pass it where only she can catch it and then so she can stand right where she wants to be the only person who can catch it and then she gets an easy layup there's a some dude maybe in maybe united states i don't know but he's like a high school player and i get suggested sports stuff on twitter sometimes, and he's like, how tall is that really tall NBA player, like 7'3", 7'4"? Wembanyama? Wembanyama.

Wembanyama. 4'6"? 7'4"? I bet Zach might know. This dude is 17 or 18, and there were highlights of him in this video where it's like, here he is at 7'2", at 14 years old. Here he is at 16 years old at seven foot five and here he

is currently 18 years old seven foot nine seven foot nine five inches taller than that giant like in the nba and he actually he looks thicker than the wembanyana or yama i don't know yeah but it was kind of athletic for a big guy yeah he like but he was so tall that like the way he ran just looked painful. Like that's so much body to be moving. And he was legitimately the first actual player. I think I've seen that does not have to jump to dunk. Like he can, he can go on his tippy toes and slam it in.

Like he doesn't have to jump whatsoever. Watching it was not like, dude, this guy fucking knows basketball. It was like, no shit. If I was eight feet tall and I weighed a thousand pounds of corded steel muscle and I had never tried once to fight in the octagon, I could dominate any fighter in the world genetically. Like, there's just no way basketball is a sport that leans itself to that lends itself to that the most just you just got to be tall got to be big height helps them i heard i don't know if it's true but it's a stat that's often repeated that if you're over seven foot there's like a 25 chance you've been in the nba like even if not like if i own an nba franchise and they're

like hey there's a 17 year old he's seven foot six you know he's not the most coordinated guy but he'll grow into that body maybe i'm giving him a contract you know that a guy who's seven foot six has to prove to me he can't play basketball. Whereas a 5'9 guy has to prove he can. His whole life, every single day, someone's tapping on his shoulder saying, you should play basketball. And then the moment he does, he's successful. What happens now, though, is they take these really tall players and they make them play point guard,

which is a position for a really athletic, good ball handler. And if you're like 7'4 and you have even high school point guard which is a position for like a really athletic good ball handler and if you can have if you're like 7'4 and you have even high school point guard dribbling skills then you're an amazing player yeah makes sense i mean being being seven foot in every realm other than basketball being seven foot nine would be hell it would be be a nightmare. Nothing is built for you. Like, imagine sitting at home at 18 years old and seeing people like, look at Victor Wemby Yama, seven foot four. What a freak.

What a freak. And being like, I'm six inches taller than that guy. I should be terrorizing a Serbian village. That's what he should be doing with his life. It's called a long boat, not a tall boat, asshole. You're going to die at 41. Get back to the apple orchards with you.

Pick them all. Just being so tall that you could lean on Shaq's shoulder. I wonder what his game is like. If your whole game is dependent on the other players coming up to your boobs, that's not going to work in the NFL. I was going to say NHL.

I don't know. Probably not. No, they'll smoke you. You need more speed. But yeah, if the idea is you catch the ball where no one else can reach it and then just gently put it in, that won't work when the other NBA players are guarding you. I'm excited for college football to come back.

I've never given a fuck about college football in my life until last season. Apparently, Mizzou is going to be good again. They're returning those players? Yeah, a lot of them are coming back. I guess Mizzou, because they beat Ohio State and kind of got some recognition in the national stage last year, they're getting better recruits now. And so eventually, one of these days, Kyle, one of these days, Mizzou is going to make it really close and then lose in the fourth again.

It could be this year. Like you said, I remember hearing preseason rankings pre-season rankings like in the top 10 i thought yeah so um and i'm sure we play each other at some point early in the year right so uh i don't know if we get georgia this year i know we play alabama oh fun it's we until we lose and yeah then it's really man i've been on this ride so many times like oh we're ranked we finished the year rank you're gonna have a good recruiting class right and it it's all fun and games until Texas offers your coach a contract and he's like what the fuck am I doing in Mizzou you know I'm gone I'm gonna make seven million dollars a year to coach A&M or some some ridiculous total did

you uh did you see that video the other day there's three Russians running through the field and a drone comes down and hits the one in the middle yeah it's laying there all fucked up and he's like shoot me in the head shoot me in the head and the guy behind him like immediately like shoots him in the head and they and they just keep going like fast like all those things happen in the course of a few seconds seemingly no emotional distress to maybe either one of them one was like oh the move here is headshot. And the other guy is like, concur. Clock runs on.

I am so fucking sick of Igor. He was probably going, I'm not hurt at all. These helmets are great. What is that? You are wounded beyond recognition. No, no. My first kill. Get rid of it and then the ukrainians struck um this factory building in russia where they make like i don't know like guided missile parts and stuff like that high-tech stuff and i i think i read eight

employees died but you could see them like burning alive up there in the window you know trying to get out of the building that was pretty awesome imagine step one of your day is you work in a fucking factory well this was a nice russian factory this this this looked very white collar they weren't making like pots and pans they were making like high-tech stuff i was on red. I saw some apologists be like, I think this is a war crime. They killed civilians. It's like, oh, did Ukraine kill some civilians?

Cut me a fucking break. Half of their casualties are civilians. Yeah. I made that stat up. Yeah, there's lots of silly people on Reddit. Yeah, you can't go to Reddit for any sort of serious discussion unless it's like a... This is where I get my Ukrainian's a that's bad news well it's reading ukrainian propaganda on that

like just like if i went to russia it's like if i read russia today and that was the only thing i read maybe that's like one of those dissonant russian papers i don't actually know but like assume russia today is like rah rosh ish boomba about putin that's like the equivalent of going on reddit for like war news about ukraine would be like i read in russia today that putin doesn't have to wipe his ass there's a few things that i've observed to be pretty accurate and it's mostly where the front line is like when the russians take land or when the ukrainians take it back yeah they they tend to be on sometimes a side will lie about it for two days or so before

it becomes incredibly obvious and everybody with a cell phone is like taking selfies in this building the russians say they still have or vice versa so uh you can see where the front lines are and who's gaining and losing territory i read a really good post the other day, like yesterday, actually. It was from this guy who's been in Ukraine fighting for two years. He's a former U.S. Marine Corps, and he was giving advice to anyone who wants to come and fight. And it was like, first of all, don't. Don't do that. Don't do that. And certainly he's like, don't do it unless you have prior military experience. And they went on and on but the the interesting part was he's he's like this is a drone war now you're going to

need drone deterrence electronic um like jammers you're gonna need one your own you're gonna need a good one and you like went through the list of things that you're going to need he's like there's not 30 minutes that we don't see or hear a drone, like a suicide drone that's above us looking to blow us up every day. And he recommended that you get your own drone training and familiarize yourself with drones. Most of his, there was one part where he was like,

buy this kind of armor, buy this kind of helmet. But then it was like, learn about drones. Become a drone expert because that's all this war is now. Do you think the final nail in the coffin of even World War II style traditional warfare will be when the first aircraft carrier is destroyed

by drones? What kind of drones? I mean, if you can fly... The jet ski kind? I don't know. If you can fly a thousand drones that cost one one millionth of a aircraft carrier into an aircraft carrier and destroy it or disable it like the sea drones are jet ski based now we're talking about aircraft i'm gonna make this up and be like they're ski boat based it's not true but you can see where that might happen and i do think they could just

load up a bunch of eighteen thousand dollar ski boats shoot i don't know making it up a hundred of them in an aircraft carrier and get three hits yeah like i don't know you could do stuff like that or you like how you think that's crazy it's drone warfare they're advancing if we were silly enough to not have an aircraft surrounded by an aircraft carrier group that's like a dozen vessels and and there's there's there's helicopters swarming around that thing and then there's planes the air they could see miles and there's special planes to see how many special thousands it's us then you bring we had no experience you bring no i have a million drone like if drones are that much cheaper it seems like that's the future in all ways not just this like they's the future in all ways,

not just this. They won't just replace tanks and make them obsolete. It'll get to the point that it's not cost effective to use manpower in the aircraft carrier way because it's like, oh, fuck, now the U.S. and Russia and China have these drones that can fly higher and faster than what we can track, and then they just send 70 of them. You can't make up technology. We've got the technology we have in front of us, right?

You can't be like, oh, now they've got one that can do magic. It'll get to that point, though. I was meaning like at some point, all of our understanding of warfare is going to be drones, right? Other than like, you know, a gorilla and like boots on the ground shit that you still need people to talk. I seriously doubt it i think i think what they're talking about right now is in this it's ukraine versus russia

and and the drones are a big deal i just don't think you have that issue when it's the united states versus anyone i hope you're right i've thought about this a lot which doesn't make me an expert it's just me thinking but uh i'm like it seems like we have a lot of eggs in the aircraft carrier basket now kyle i understand these aircraft carriers are surrounded by an armada of some sort i don't know the details of the corvettes and the destroyers or whatever but it's not easy to get to an aircraft carrier but still you know do we do we have more guided torpedoes like how do you get to these things it seems like we have this big expensive all our eggs in one basket philosophy that i worry doesn't hold up i just don't think that's true i think i think the carrier group again

is there's the one big boat with all the airplanes on it but there's a lot of board boats around it with like specialized tasks that handle these sorts of things and then once again like remember when they threatened when they told putin that we would just destroy everything that's in ukraine i don't think there'd be anywhere to launch the fucking drones from like those uh the jet ski drones for example what's the range on one of those i bet it's under a few dozen miles 50 miles something like that like your enemy has to be that close to your aircraft carrier that's like the stone wheel of like a water drone though like this is also it's new in warfare like well we'll get and it's not even like it has to be a total and complete

victory like let's say like and i'm not this isn't even a u.s thing like it has to be a total and complete victory. Like, let's say, and I'm not, this isn't even a U.S. thing. Like, China has an aircraft. It is, though, because we're the, no, they don't. Okay, well, who else has an, pick someone. 500 miles is the answer. But it's a little. 500 miles. Okay, well, all it would take is cost-effective trades. defective trades if some enemy of ours can spend literally a millionth of what we spend

and cripple us for six months even though oh well we're gonna we're gonna put this back together we're gonna get it rolling again you know like that's worth nine of them and there could be a dude and think about that think about the the american of no no but think about the american military how many tanks do we have can't even count them how many helicopters tens of thousands how many planes tens of thousands how many aircraft carriers less than 10 like if it if it ever got to that point technologically that you could cost effectively disable one i'm not even sure the entire technology you don't have to sink it you would just have to make something ineffective for a while like that's how make it go into repair

yeah that's it would really surprise me if anyone can do that and i feel like again not yet okay but i don't know who it's going to be and i feel like the response to that from us is always going to be planes that they can't see that fly from our shores to theirs and back again and and hit everything that we want to hit i just i just don't think it in a real full-on war i think right away a lot of their stuff just disappears from the table i just yeah kyle you bring up a really good point and we do have a lot of other advantages that these people don't however if you had told me that the russian navy was going to be destroyed by a country with no navy i'd be like really that seems far-fetched

happened before they've historically i looked it up it was in 1903 i think when that that awful russian uh incursion to to have a war with the japanese happened when they were like losing boats on the way there to circumstance and failure. Yeah, they're not a naval people. Well, again, the submarine fleet has been a problem for us throughout forever. And the whole Cuban Missile Crisis was their boats down there being shitty.

Just think about the difference in how all warfare will be structured the second anyone can disable that without spending enough money to make their own aircraft carrier. Like that's what I'm saying. Why are planes like they are? Like a couple of thoughts here, right? One, they're great big things.

I know they're incredibly expensive. You lose one, you've lost like $35 million, $100 million. I don't even know. It's a ton though. The aircraft is held back by the person in it in many ways you know the reasons these things don't pull 12 g's is that humans don't you take the person out you can shrink the plane quite a bit make it lighter perhaps increase its range and then you start pulling g's that only missiles were pulling previously and actually dodge them it seems

like pulling the person out of the plane is an idea with merit. It seems like the future. Those Predator drones are enormous. They're huge. I thought even the big... I was like, oh, what's it like? Volkswagen size? No, it's gigantic. It's like a big aircraft.

We've been using those for a long time. I think though as far as having fighter aircraft that are drones simply they could with any kind of jamming technology they would just cut your uh that's occurred to me too you don't want lag either but the next series uh the next series fighter after the f-22 or f-35 or whatever is a suite of fighters you've got one plane with a guy in it and then several drones that are mini versions of it

that fly alongside of it. Who is it? The Falcon in Marvel? He's got the phoenix? Yeah, it's exactly that. Although in the comics that was an actual Falcon that he had a psychic connection with. He could think to that bird and make that bird go do stuff.

That's the real future of military technology psychic birds yes psychic birds and their handlers this is one of those things that if you did like a deep dive with like a foia request you could find out like oh the u.s has spent 17 million dollars trying to commute i wonder if like i sometimes worry america's going in in the wrong direction with our really expensive tech. You know, on one hand, it works great. I can see it. It's cool. It's cool.

On the other hand, like Al-Qaeda used to say they would defeat us this way. They didn't. But they're like, all we need to do is put a flag in the desert. These idiots spend 12 million dollars to knock it down. They talk about asymmetric wins. Yeah. Talk about asymmetric wins. Yeah, and that's how a lot of wars can be won,

is just attrition and not necessarily winning big epic battles, but cost-effectively trading away their will or resources so that they can't do it. I don't think that works when you're fighting a country with a flag and a uniform, though. It doesn't work for them. Although it's interesting to see what Russia's doing right now in Europe. With flags and uniforms, it works. I don't think it does i again i think in a

what can you help me understand what you're saying about the flag and uniform al-qaeda with some guys living in case your argument as to why ukraine was beating russia for a while is because the cost-effective trades were so lopsided in favor of ukraine oh no that was my argument my funding the war makes sense because because the cop it's so cost-effective to fund the war in ukraine and deplete uh russian military stocks but russia still has so many tanks but they're losing tanks in a non-cost effective way that is difficult for them and so like it is important to cost effectively trade down your opponent's resources in like a battle scenario. If you can spend

$400 on some bullshit drone and you disable a Russian tank worth $6 million or something, that's a win. It doesn't matter if they can come get the tank and then fix it and this and that. It's out of commission and it's taking manpower and that's more resources, more money, more

resources. What are we talking about now? I've lost the place. Asymmetric costs in warfare yeah that's the key to winning a war of attrition and well i think that only matters when you're fighting like al-qaeda again like if we're talking about the u.s because that we can't go get them again ukraine can't go get russia because they're not capable of doing so we can't like. I think Taylor's strategy is to make Russia quit because they've spent so much money. I mean, it's like a well-fortified rust base. At some point, it's just not worth going in there. Yeah, the juice isn't worth this. And it's not like it's so multifaceted to win a war. I'm just saying that this is part of it.

Like what he was saying, the way the U.S. spends on airplanes, if it got to the point that an F-15 can be taken out by something that costs $60,000, then suddenly that whole wing of our of our Air Force is not useful anymore as it used to be. And there will be a power vacuum there. And of course, we're going to fill it because we're probably going to be the ones with the best drones. We probably are. Yeah, that's what I feel like if somebody's going to find some magic technology, it's going to be the ones with the best drones. We probably already... I feel like if somebody's going to find some magic technology, it's going to be us. There's a movie called

Clint Eastwood movie where he, in 1971 I think, called Firefox. The idea was absurd from the beginning because the idea was the Soviets had gotten ahead of us in stealth plane technology. their plane could go

Mach 5, and it could go so fast that it could just fly past and outrun all of our missiles and drop nuclear bombs on the U.S., and so the only answer was to send Clint Eastwood in to steal the fucking thing, and you have this whole spy thriller where Clint Eastwood's sneaking in, and he finally gets

in the Fox Force plane, and he takes off, and you have to use your mind to control the weaponry that's how that's how advanced it was you don't press a button you think fire but you have to think in russian thank god he was awesome at the moment he put his butt in the seat he well it took him a minute actually he's got ptsd from nam so there's a part and and so but but the the part of the movie that made no sense, that was actually unbelievable, in a movie where Clint Eastwood's using his mind to kill Russians with a Mach 5 plane,

was that the Russians could make Mach 5 planes and then make more than one or two of them. Mass-produced them. They didn't have the money for it then. It's like, what did Barack Obama say? I love that he had this great speech where he was like, the 18th economy

in Europe, basically Italy with a bad attitude. He went on this long rant about... Wow, Italy getting ripped on for no reason. Yeah, poor Italy. Exporters of arms and petroleum heading into the 21st century. I'm not afraid

of Russia. I'm not afraid of anybody except for the aliens and and the own not right from within our awful country no not china okay okay i think china is definitely scarier than russia but i don't think either are even close china's population is declining like the number of people which apparently is wreaking havoc on their economy and the whole thing is pointed in the wrong direction is it true heck? Heck if I know. That's happening to us in South Korea and a lot of our

population. We're not birthing past the replacement rate, which might be what you're thinking of. But with immigration, we are a growing country. We're importing Americans. Ah, yeah, that's a long-term success plan. It has been thus far. You're here with your swarthy hair.

What do you think? You came over on the Mayflower? I have Christine white skin. I burn quickly. That's because your mother poisoned your blood. That's not the way I... I should have never said that. In cannibal times, I'd worry about eating your flesh.

I'm healthy. I don't know what that Accutane could have done to your lipids or whatever. Who knows what eating you could do? It could give my apocalypse bride some sort of baby mutation. They're so much more careful

with Accutane now than they were in 2002 or whatever. It was a prophylactic 20 years ago yeah they were like this it probably doesn't just fuck you up make sure he'll never get a pimple yeah they were like and while you're on this meanwhile kyle's vaccinated i'm not eating either of you idiots that's true i'm not gonna eat you i'm pure blood you don't trust my pure blood kyle i don't you can taste the cholesterol in my blood. It'll be great.

I'm marbled. I'm marbled. You can taste my meat in my own blood. I bet it'll be good. I bet people's good. I would want to smoke your leg or something, like leg of Taylor. You think it would be better?

I bet we'd be on par with pork and leagues behind beef. I'm going to come brush that leg with Sweet Baby Ray's every hour, 30 minutes, smoky for about three or four hours. Smoke? You're going to be succulent. Three or four hours? Yeah. You're going to fall off the bone. No.

I'm deep frying, you guys. That'll make anything taste good. No, if you eat me, I want you to use... Don't use Sweet Baby Ray's if you ever consume my flesh. I'm doing it. Use a vinegar. Make me nice and savory. Don't make me sickly sweet.

Don't do that. I'm getting sweet and spicy, okay? I'll agree to your terms if we just chop you off from the knee down and share it. Fair. Keep me alive. Living in hell. Yeah, I don't want to be eaten. I don't think anyone does there's a kind of shrimp in the saltwater reef tank called a harlequin shrimp it eats starfish

so what people do not me it's too cruel is they chop off the starfish legs one at a time and feed them to the shrimp but they grow back so they just rotate around the starfish oh what the fuck i don't like it. You're right. Even if you told me that they've scientifically discovered that starfish have no pain receptors. It's like, bitch, you were saying that about bears 30

years ago. I don't know what starfish are thinking. They have brains in their legs. I've told you this before. They have five legs. If you chop off two of them, now you have two starfish. They'll both grow back. in their legs. I've told you this before. They have five legs. If you chop off two of them, now you have two starfish. They'll both grow back. That's cool. I don't care for this one bit. Buy some fish food. Jesus.

What if lizards... You know those lizards that pop their tail off when they're spooked? Yeah. What if we could find a big one of those and now you basically get a whole ham-sized amount of meat just infinite cash glitch in the real world then we'd find out that like it needs um you know 75,000 calories to regrow its its tail and it's not even good there's a reason we don't eat reptiles i saw

a guy with a maggot farm that he used to feed his chickens today it was just it ran on coffee grounds he got from coffee shops for free. Flies just went in there and laid their eggs in old cardboard. Then the maggots would migrate up and through this pipe because they were looking for soil to live in

because everything else was coffee grounds and rotten eggs and shit. They're just collecting in these buckets and he's feeding them to his chickens. He's got infinite chicken feed. I like that. And that's a good idea. Yeah. I have no mercy for maggots.

Yeah. Not a, not a good thought. The same way with like wild pigs. There's a few animals where it's like, I don't care about your suffering though. Like, like you just don't care at all.

Like wild pigs are so nasty looking. They look like the bad guys in a movie or something. They look like orcs or something they're all snarly and hairy and disgusting i would never eat an animal who's suffering i don't care about i don't know these pigs that you're speaking of what you got in taylor i said it had to be like like a venomous snake something mean maybe an animal i got to know that was an asshole i could get on board with that like every time i walk by this fucking tiger cage it tries to kill me eventually you gotta go yeah

that's fair you you need it on a on a need to know a case-by-case basis not just one whole species that's very that's very kind of you i just mean more like hunting like like i i wouldn't mind killing a bunch of wild pigs at all but i i wouldn't shoot a deer you know not for fun yeah anything like that i wouldn't i mean you you got even with a bow or whatever you know like i just wouldn't want to kill one i'd feel bad but i spent your whole childhood it's like the gangas con of deer i do feel bad for you did fuckhis Khan of deer. Killed a bunch of deer. I do feel bad for those deer. He did fuck a lot of deer. Yeah.

I did. Just a little bit of Kyle in all of them. Half of the deers have Kyle DNA in them now. Just physically. They can't reproduce. Yeah. I would kill... Yeah.

No, it would have to be some animal that I think is totally unthinking. Alligators, crocodiles, snakes, bugs, sharks. They're not so sharp as sharks. No. Okay, not a good kind, like great white, like a scary kind. Bull shark. They'll let you rub their belly. Okay, bull shark.

Those are the ones that are known for just being real aggressive. They're known as the sweetest shark in the ocean. They're misunderstood. They're the bovine sharks. Yeah, nurse sharks are the ones that are like, they eat stuff off the bottom and crustaceans, so they don't even look at you, right? Woody, this seems like up your alley.

You'd know sharks. You're a shark expert, Woody. Not enough, no. I've heard a nurse shark is sweet, but I don't know if we have that certainty. You don't step in and correct me. I'm like, you're making stuff up. This is what we do. Welcome to the show.

The Pirates of the Caribbean actor got killed by a shark while surfing over the weekend. You see that? Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, there was that little duo of goofy pirates. There was like a fat one and a tall skinny one. The skinny one. Yeah. From the office? From

Pirates of the Caribbean. The original office. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I saw that once a decade ago. You're on Reddit a lot too also, Kyle. Did you see that Hawaiian lifeguard surfer dude got killed by a shark? I heard there was a couple of deaths, but I didn't

know, not specifically. He was a pipeline specialist, which tells me he was probably a total asshole. Pipeline specialists are all about territorial, keeping tourists away, destroying their cars while they're out surfing so they don't want to come back. This is what pipeline specialists do. That's hardcore. I heard he got eaten by a shark.

I was like, you know what? That's karma. How many times have you tried to tell people that that was your territory and they're not allowed there well meet mr fucking shark i love that you know this about he's in hawaii oh dude hawaii pipeline anybody who surfs like that's a tool trust me oh no no pipeline it's one of the most popular breaks on the planet and the hawaiians feel like it is their like right to get first dibs on any wave that comes by so if you don't honor that right or even if you do they like destroy your car they cut the leash on your surfboard it's like well known for this stuff if you if you fall one time on the wave they'll like never let you catch

a wave again for as long as they remember you know what that's it that's the third group of people that i want eliminated from the era of taylor number three number three hawaiians native specialists no every native hawaiian they're so uppity girls i've been to hawaii them too i've been to hawaii and the people at the hotel who were paid to be nice to you were nice to me. Okay, Howley. I have a friend who lives in Hawaii and loves it. But he is Howley. He's a white. What does she do?

He. I don't know. I don't know what he does anymore, actually. When I say friend, I mean someone I knew from work 12 years ago it's hard to make a living in Hawaii like the only industry really there is tourism and like derivatives of tourism like accounting and

shit and I was just like what do you it's like you have to already be rich to move there and do okay methamphetamine I hear it's very popular there there I doubt it like Samo there. I wouldn't doubt it. I doubt it. Samoas are some of the fattest people around.

Have you seen Dr. Bounty Hunter? Dr. Bounty Hunter was constantly dealing with meth heads in Hawaii, right? Is that where he was? Or was he in Florida? I thought he was mostly in the terrestrial US, but I didn't watch his show. You didn't watch Dr. Bounty Hunter? I would see bits and pieces.

Dude, that was good TV. For me at like 14 to be watching a show and be like, this is beyond fake. Fake? He was arresting people and sending them to jail. Yeah, and he would give his little speech after a cop already got them all situated and he's like, brother, I gotta tell you,

this is not the life for you. How dare you try to disgrace Dog the Bounty Hunter's legacy? Not only noted N-word sayer, but also a man who went around and cleaned his community up and tried to instill some morality. Oh, he dropped some big N's on it.

All right, maybe the show wasn't too bad. Yeah, okay. Not on the show. They recorded him. Mel Gibson styled him and tried to ruin his life. Sometimes when people see a tall,

athletic, powerful white man leading in his field, people conspire to try to make him look like a racist or perhaps even a pedophile. Well, we were going to transition to Dr. Disrespect if you let me. God damn it. Okay.

Hanging on your every word. He's trending on Twitter right now, Dr. Disrespect. Why? I kind of wanted to save him for the main show. Oh, okay. We do that. I'm sure it'll be hot news still then. There'll be more news about it by that time. We don't want to fall behind the people who lost the news. He did tweet today yeah and then he changed his tweet because he's

so he edited it and then he realized people could see that you edited so he had to edit it back the other way because that seemed like the right thing to do so now we're back to using the word minor which is a hard word these days you know kendrick lamar's got making that that that that just ringing everybody's ears so yeah we talk about it on the show though i don't i'm gonna play devil's devil's advocate on this one i'm gonna be the doc defender for sure because i don't let's do it now i didn't do it we only got well i don't think you did anything wrong really i mean he did some more morally right all right so here's the the skinny i guess you want to do it now you're away for the show we'll end up more if

he's already like tweeting frantic paragraphs like this more is going to come out in the next two days like we there will be more so he got he had that big uh dispute with twitch in 2017 and it was like what what happened what did doc do and it was like what did happened? What did Doc do? And it was like, did he kill a woman? What did he do? And I guess what happened is he was Twitch whispering, using the messaging app within Twitch to talk sexually explicit messages with a minor who was 17 years old at the time.

And the way I would defend Doc is I would say you're not supposed to be able to use that messenger if you're not 18. Where'd you get 17? Because all I got is minor. I'm almost positive 17 is the age.

I feel like either that's what the leaker from Twitch said. Zach says people are using 17 as a way to discredit it. The age is not out. All we know is minor. It's 17. I read 17. I thought from the

original leaker that got the ball rolling. Some people are saying 11. That's crazy. That's silly. I did hear it just very recently. They're not supposed to be using that messaging app if they're underage anyway.

I think you're supposed to be 18 to be on there. He knew they were minors. We don't know when he knew that they were minors. At TwitchCon. How do you know he tried to meet up with her? That is in the leak. The dude who broke the news,

the guy who said that who broke the news. The guy who said that he read the tweets. The Twitch message or whatever. Said he tried to meet up with her at TwitchCon. And then. Oh Zach says one of the leaks says 17. He found it. So maybe 17 is true.

Maybe 11 is true also. You never know. Definitely not 11. I mean it's alleged. That was it. Wait wait I have more. He founded a game studio. that's making a game. It's going to suck. It's like NFT based or something.

And the game studio investigated this and decided that they needed to fire the founder of the company. So now he's no longer associated with them. And then he came out today and basically admitted that it's all true, that he was trying to. He had some inappropriate messages with a minor leading into twitch con now you guys seem like you know more about it than me yeah i mean he went on he didn't like send any pictures he didn't meet the person but was he knowingly like he knew she was a minor yes at what point we don't know though which is the the crux of the whole issue he knows now that she was a minor

when did he know though so okay it's incredibly important because any of it like first of all I would never be in such a situation because I ask such things it's a smart question to ask that's my take

on the whole thing seems like if someone pretended to be of age and then later went back, like, oh, I'm actually 17. I'll be 18 in March, though. And it's like, what have you done to me? I'm the doc. I could see that going down and then him having to. Wouldn't that be the defense he was leaning on, though,

if that were the circumstance? It kind of seems like it is the defense he was leaning on, though, if that were the circumstance? It kind of seems like it is the defense he's leaning on. He's just not wanting to get too specific because I'm positive that there is a legal agreement between him, Twitch, and perhaps him and the formerly underage party. This person is now, what, 27 years plus 17 is now 24 years old. There's an NDA. So, so yeah he can't be too specific i mean but he's posting a lot about something for someone hamstrung by like ndas and whatnot so he's not anymore i don't know why seemingly you would lead with that like if that

was his take and that was his like perspective on it why would he not just say oh yeah i sent some messages and then i found out later i thought she was fucking 23 and then she comes out and says she's not oh that you know i was like what the fuck and it stopped immediately like but he didn't he doesn't he's not saying anything other you know on the other monitor and that doesn't seem to be any part of his argument here. Yeah. It seems like he's copying to it, like, I made a little error.

Hang on, is it even illegal? He was like 38 or something in 2017. He was 35. Is it even illegal to, because he's 41 or 42 now, is it illegal to exchange? What state? Oh, exchange messages? Yeah, as long as there's no, like, I don't think it's, I don't, is it illegal to exchange? Um, like, like his, Oh, exchange messages. Yeah.

As long as there's no, like, I don't think it's, I think, I don't think it is. I don't think he did anything illegal. Uh, so,

so again, I think it, it falls back to the moral thing. I know Woody takes big issue with the fact that he was married while he was messaging this underage person. He's a video game streamer, right? Like if,

he's a video game streamer right like if if you're somebody who has a tendency to try to get children to fuck you it's not great to do that in the realm of video game streaming like your fans are children yeah yeah and i didn't realize so he was married had kids and he was doing this shit on the side that's fucked up and morally speaking yeah well i mean like just remove legality from it like oh that's easy for you to say taylor like it's he he doesn't even seem to be denying stuff people are saying he's just saying right man what a mistake it was to do this my bad yes yeah i'm sure if i get back on stream i will try i will no longer try to fuck the children watching me play dress up with fake hair and sunglasses and some sort of michael jackson jacket this character i play that appeals to children i won't use this popularity

to fuck the kids anymore i'm reformed yeah his own arguments in these paragraphs aren't making tried tried to meet up with her at twitchcon we didn't hey what are you doing at twitchcon i'm getting you think they exchanged inappropriate messages and then said what are you doing at twitchcon because you wanted to know her diet plans yeah i i don't he also asked a minor about her plans at the twitch con convention according to two of the people who asked not to be identified okay and at this point it's my understanding that he already knew she was a minor like because and i'm basing that on the fact that he didn't or at least i'm not seeing it in here him denying right everyone leads with everyone leads with

she told me she was 19. Everybody says that when there's any truth to that. Not him. He said she was a minor and that was a mistake. He's making it hard to take a side in this. I have no opinion of Dr. Disrespect.

I feel like you're biased against pedophiles, Taylor. That's fair. That's a fair bias yeah that yeah this his own tweet is not i did watch the in a positive light which it seems like that's what he'd be trying read the read the last paragraph and and then sentence finally if you're uncomfortable when you do your doc voice i don't know what he sounds like like i don't watch his content what's he saying oh oh well what does he sound like i don't know either i don't know what you didn't even know and you're putting me on this but i don't like his content either i just i know what it sounds

like but i can't do it i can't help you you know why we don't like it kyle this is my doctor not for you that's like star wars tell me for you old It's like Star Wars. It's not for you, old white man. We're 80% of your audience. All right, tell me if this is... All right, this is the last paragraph. Finally, if you're uncomfortable with this entire statement and think I'm a piece of shit, that's fine, but I'm not fucking going anywhere.

I'm not the same guy that made this mistake all those years ago. I'm taking an extended vacation with my family, as mentioned on stream, and I'm coming back with a heavy weight off my shoulders they want me to disappear yeah fucking right where do you think he's going on vacation i mean wherever he wants doesn't he make more money than like almost everybody on streaming yeah yeah he's he's tens of millionaires yeah but but but I wanted you to be like Disneyland for sure Lego World yeah we're going to the Oshkosh Begosh Museum

I'm going to build a bear and see what's happening in there for a little while y'all wait here I'm going to build a bear corporate hey ladies yeah definitely inappropriate it sounds like again I would want to know when you knew that you were talking with a 17-year-old. I think that matters tremendously.

And like you said, he's not defending it. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt about why he's not just saying, she told me she was 18. Because that would make a big difference to me. He would have said that in here. Maybe there's an NDA that prevents him from saying anything about her calling her a liar.

Why did Discord get rid of him also? Was it preventively because of the Twitch messages, or did he say shit on Discord as well? I don't know. Are they owned by sister companies or something? Would Twitch have... Is the left-hand twitch and the right-hand discord and they're just you know washing themselves it could be because

sometimes people get banned on like no it's twitter and instagram all at once stuff like that yeah i don't know um it's interesting that they happen simultaneously though you know because like they knew well what do they know like they're not monitoring his chats to make sure he's not talking to anybody so like how i'm very they banned him at the same time twitch did so they knew something i mean they didn't yeah and i wonder if youtube's gonna let him back like if you're youtube and there's a known pedophile or aspiring pedophile on your platform streaming video wild yeah if you're youtube and there's an aspiring pedophile who's very popular on your like do you not say we're done with this no twitch paid him like twitch paid him his money

everybody paid him his money i don't think he was a youtube streamer because he and dan from twitch right getting paid his money he's got the contract didn't have a morality clause it doesn't mean he's innocent he had a contract to stream with Twitch. Twitch is like, you know what? Take your money and leave. I don't want you anymore. They had to pay him or they wouldn't have. Yeah, but that doesn't mean that he... that has

nothing to do with innocence. I don't think he's innocent. I just don't think he's an aspiring metaphor. Well, he tried to meet up with a minor at TwitchCon after inappropriate conversations. That's an aspiring pedophile. Well, he tried to meet up with a minor at TwitchCon after inappropriate conversations. That's exactly what he did. But that's not an aspiring pedophile. That's what they do.

This is like to catch a predator, shit. That's like, you know, Chris Hansen steps in and the person he's talking to was really an overweight LA detective. Hold on. The person he's talking to was really an overweight LA detective this whole time and you're like,'s not an aspiring pedophile he never got that far that's an aspiring pedophile i sent woody a video the other day of a actual pedophile who'd gone to

the dressing rooms to meet with a 13 or 14 year old boy oh and uh and he's getting slapped around by the predator catchers and what he's like like, let's not be too quick to judge. You never know with these videos. The guy's running from target from the pedophile catchers as they smack him around. Here's where that came from. If the video starts while he's being beat up. I need the floor for a second. The video started as, maybe, maybe he's not good enough.

They cut out the question. You infer that the question is, are you here to meet a minor? But they cut out the question they cut out the you was you infer that the question is are you here to meet a minor but they cut that out now all he said was maybe and then he started beating him because his answer was maybe create a scenario in your head where he's not a pedophile and explain it to me if he said maybe to are you here to meet a minor sir are you here to meet uh little stevie uh 6464 that you met on Discord? And he's like, maybe. It's like, this guy's here for that.

He was trying on Gene. Maybe he said, are you size 34? And the guy's like, maybe. And he's like, maybe. And starts beating the hell out of him. And then he uploaded the scenario why they'd cut off the question at the start of the video. Here's a little role play. The person who posted the Reddit cut off the question. the start of the video here's a little role play person who posted the reddit cut off the question the person who does the predator catching uploads a whole

stream and no i couldn't find it but that's what they do i i did this deep dive on on facebook there are so many fake chris hansons now like it's like a whole branch of youtube genre it's like a cod gamer now oh and i wanted to add shifting gears a little bit from pedophilia and hope hope doc's doing okay today i know our prayers here are all with doc and the doc family you know um you know woody was making jokes like doc was the doctor of pediatric medicine and i was like that is just low that is just low you know don't say that. Dr. Disregard consent. I see you filled out your age here, but a little hard to make out. Let's just disregard that entirely.

I saw I'm really into my try-on girls on YouTube that wear their 4K transparent lingerie try on and you got a lot of bad bitches

just getting completely naked on YouTube and I find that really hot. But then you start getting related videos and you go down this rabbit hole of the way whores have gotten on YouTube to show nudity and I found a girl who was showing breastfeeding techniques and I was like, oh no, you can't have a kid on here, but she doesn't. She doesn't have a

kid. She's got a doll, but she's got her, and she's not lactating either this is a bad bitch she's sitting there with gorgeous 19 year old she has huge perfect like cannon titties that are like looking right at you and she's like first you want to get baby to latch and she takes this fake doll and she's like well baby latch here i like to get up my other titty and massage it and i'm like another titty out massage it and she's like then she just puts the the doll down entirely and it's just like you gotta work the milk down and don't know it shouldn't be uncomfortable it should feel good and i'm like oh it does what's the name of this video well what dude i have no idea i didn't save it my favorite so why i don't have a playlist sending me videos of people being killed by drones

like this you know it's like you don't even know me man i was like this is the best thing ever um there's there's lots of these girls and a lot of them are like middle age too which i don't like hate but because because some one that one girl it was like whoa what is this this is like jailbait shit um the one girl was like clearly underage but she wasn't showing any nudity she was wearing like a swimsuit but her video had like 18 million views it was like by far the most popular like underwear try on girl and she was but she looked under 18 she looked so underage it was not a good look now she's just wearing a bikini but it was like this is not cool at all um but the rest of those ladies they'll be like 30s

40s 50s 60s even they'll be they'll be like a 60 year old gal with a true like a completely transparent nightgown and they she's like shifting left or right so you can see her hoo-ha. It's good stuff. I'm a big fan. I don't like the ones who are also OnlyFans girls. I'm looking for the ones who really need some attention, who really would, you know, they're reading those comments and appreciating them all.

I need them to take notice of me. Do you write comments to the Tryon girls on YouTube, Taylor? No. No, I do not. You should just leave comments as FPS Russia. If only I knew the password. I have no idea. I always find that shockingly

pathetic. The people who post comments on Reddit porn that are like, you're so sexy. You looking for a six-foot-tall gentleman in Milwaukee? And they're like, no, I'm not. I'm running my porno business from Los Angeles. By the way, I'm a dude.

I manage eight of these ladies. Why do you think I'm reading your comment and saying, who are you, you moron? And it's not isolated. There's dozens and dozens of these dudes. A lot of Indian guys, I'm imagining. I mean, some mean some i'm sure but so many of them are just like clueless as to what this is no girl has ever read a comment and be like oh that's the sexiest simp ever he really does like my boobs and vagine i'm gonna hit him up oh victor Victor. You're so fucking cool, Victor.

I read your poorly written, broken English message about my body. I bang anyone who likes my areolas. Dude, Kyle, you don't think women are wildly attracted to guys who have a clear pornography addiction? No. I don't think. I've never seen a success story of someone who simped so hard they got the pussy. What I have seen is all-time Ls taken by the simps. I've seen those clips of like, this is my Twitch.

Pokimane had that Twitch. One of her Twitch mods was also her editor, and he was taking a really long time to get her projects back to her. It's her sitting in a gaming chair and cheering cheering while she plays fucking games and stuff she's a cute girl he had he admitted to her that the videos were taking so long because he was jerking off he's editing with one hand and hyper focusing on her keep that to yourself this guy had probably given her tens and tens of thousands of free labor over the years and she's just like gotta cut you right saw one that said,

one of my fans got me this Tesla. And it's like, imagine buying some chick a Tesla and being referred to as one of the fans. You don't even stand out. I hope he's hiding in the trunk of that Tesla ready to get his money's worth.

You know how I can tell that the Dr. Disrespect thing is huge news? It's because the word MINOR in all caps is trending on Twitter. 150,000. Kendrick Lamar's helping with that. Let's be honest. Why is Kendrick Lamar involved? He's a rapper. You don't know this song?

This is hilarious. He had a big back and forth with Drake. It was the number one thing in entertainment news this month. You heard that song, right? Probably. Trying to strike a chord and it's probably a minor. Yeah.

Drake's been criticized for being a bit of a doctor himself. He's been known to practice a little medicine here and there. Kendrick lamar is is none too pleased with dr disrespect all right oh i hope kendrick dude the word minor is just going to be i was talking to jackie about this i've been in the hot seat during my youtube career and it felt like this specifically there was a time i won this thing called King of the Web. And the prize is either seven thousand or seventy five hundred. It was something like that.

And I gave it all to charity. Well, Wings of Redemption told the holiday doc that I made more money on the video promoting it than I made from the thing that from the like winnings, which is wildly untrue. Like I probably made one hundred fifty made 150 on a video something like that and uh but wings apparently told that to holiday doc so holiday doc made a video outing me and it seemed like the whole world was talking about me and it was bullshit it wasn't i swear it wasn't even remotely true and uh um it was just it was just like one of the many little things that wings i think he was behaving out of jealousy or something and uh something he did behind the scenes that he probably would like all-time hater just yeah all-time hater all-time thing to do you guys

were friends at the time he genuinely makes up lies about people like like out of whole cloth it's one of those things where like you hear someone say a thing and you're like you would not just make that stuff up and it's like yes they do they sit in their toxic stew of a life and they go what if i said this that stick in his craw i talked to holly doc and i were like acquaintances like we played together probably 300 games you know like rounds of cod so it wasn't i knew him i liked him he's really good at cod so it was fun to win all night when i was on his team like this is our relationship we're not besties but we knew each other and then he made this hate video and i was like where is this coming from like why did you do this he's like i got a source and eventually

told me wings was his sword anyway it's on reddit it's all over my comments like my little ecosystem was covered with woody hate and it hurt i wasn't very good at taking hate at the time i'm reading this dr disrespect shit bbc's talking about it forbes is talking about it bloomberg's talking about it there's worldwide report it's trending on twitter it's all it's the front page of reddit which is a i don't know if it's bigger than twitter or not but they're both super big yeah yeah and uh i'm like shit you know dr disrespect can't walk outside his house without somebody being like fuck any kids lately yeah it it it's huge i could at least just stay out of the stuff about me you know if i go to cnn no one was talking about me yeah so yeah i don't i i doubt i did anything it sounds like

you didn't do anything illegal just did some uh immoral stuff you should be messaging 17 year olds you wouldn't catch me messaging a 17 year old i always thought it was a little like you know when you play community games especially with twitch chat um or with i used to just give my steam out and just add genuinely add hundreds of people i was ranking my steam account up so i could have 200 300 friends and you just just playing like sea of thieves or um among us which i'd like to play today if anybody's down for among us we're about to do our join our patron we're about to play with the 50 patrons uh some kind of game you want to try among you know you can download it you can you can easily get it's probably eight megabytes or some shit you could easily get mixed in with underage people 16 and 17 year old dudes for the most part who like you a lot so like his

conversation got really inappropriate and he tried to meet up at twitch con like it went to another level i'm sure i'm not defending him i'm just sort of talking about my own piece of like enter even then when like at some point we'd kind of realize this guy sounds a little young and you'd be like hey man how old are you and then like the group straightens up a little bit like we're still gonna be raucous and dirty we're gonna we're not gonna stop saying fuck like just because this guy's 16 he's heard it before if he's a fan of the show and he had 50 to join or whatever but like we're not gonna like say anything too inappropriate or rent we're gonna keep in mind there's a 16 year old here who can't even buy cigarettes so like let's temper our conversation a little bit so back when wings was like oh yeah whenever you drive to my until the 16 year old or

whatever like drive slow to my house you're 18 when you get here or whatever it was like, oh, yeah, whenever you drive to the 16-year-old or whatever, like drive slow to my house, you're 18 when you get here or whatever. It was like, man, you will catch me saying that. You catch me saying some dirty shit to some of age ladies for sure. Yeah, I remember probably three years ago or so in the PKA Patreon, there's a rule in there like you have to be an adult. You can't be an adult unless you're 18 years old and some like 16 year old guy who liked the show paid for the the patreon and he joined and someone was like how how old are you he's like uh 16 and if i recall kyle was like no this is not i don't hate you i don't dislike dislike you. Nothing wrong. We're going to refund you the $50 on Patreon,

but you got to go, man. We don't want you. You got to be an adult to me. Half these people are high right now. I think I was even like, think very hard about how you answer this question. How old are you? He went, 16.

I'm like, you didn't think hard enough. He thought himself right out of $50. you didn't think hard enough and thought himself right out of that's how i know you're really 16 you were supposed to say 22 and no one would ever fuck with you again spongebob you're probably never gonna think oh no one would have known but yeah better to just keep these things for adults anyway. 99% of me is like Dr. Disrespect is pretty immoral. Tried to hook up with a child. Knew it was a kid. Girl tried to whisper me dirty on Twitch.

But 1% of me is like I've been in the barrel before and I know it sucks. We'll have to wait for more facts to come out. That's why we stand with the doc. No. We've all been stand with the doc. No. We've all been there before, as Woody said.

As Woody likes to say, Jack, Jack, Jack.