Painkiller Already - PKN 525

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. What was my morning? I woke up today at like, what time was it? I don't know, like 11 a.m. noon, something like that, and I'm so sick. I was just so sick. And like last night I ate stuffed crabs from Captain D's. And there's no way that was it. There's no way that was it because no. Come on. Because I mean, you had it fresh. It's not like you had someone deliver it to you, right? Of course you have it. Oh, yeah. What am I going to go to? Captain D?

Seen there? No, I'm a I'm a Long John Silver's man publicly. I this was a me too. It is a secret. Yeah. And but they were delicious. Well, no, they weren't. I ate one of them and thought it tasted weird didn't eat second one And I just like poured it out got all the stuffing out and I made little like

Did a puppet show for a while with the dogs? They loved it. That is probably what it is, but I just like No, yeah Was like Woody when is the last time you had food poisoning? I Probably a while. Yeah, I ever I can't is the last time you had food poisoning? Probably a while? Yeah, ever, I don't know. I can't remember the last time it happened to me. Like you're single-handedly driving up

the food poisoning average. I think you're just not eating enough. It feels like four times a year. I know, at least. I've heard that the average salary of America goes down like five brand if you remove Elon You are that with food poisoning you're Raising the stats. Maybe we have iron stomachs over here because I can eat like an absolute monster and other than guilt

I feel fine. No, I can eat a lot It's just like sometimes I eat something funky and it's just and I try so hard not to like I throw stuff out of the fridge Like stuff stays in my fridge. Maybe two days like never three like I think you can keep like a super Like chili or something for three or four days or something. I never do that because i'm like, oh, I don't know It's looking a little weird. I see some sour cream. It's like sour cream's supposed to smell funky I don't know. There's a lot of liquid in there. I'll just stir it up and go. Nah, it's a dollar It's a dollar. We're not We'll get some more sour cream. I don't like getting the same thing multiple days in a row anyway. I know. Oh, I do. I like getting

autistic with my food. But I do make bad food decisions from time to time. Like along the line of like, I love peppers and peppers do not agree with my delicate stomach. But maybe today they will. What kind of peppers? Red or green? Cause you love salsa. Like, like, like jalapeno peppers, like serrano peppers. It doesn't even have to be that awesome. Bell peppers. Yeah. Bell peppers. Bell peppers upset your stomach. Cause that's like, I mean, you can eat them raw as a child. Like children eat them as little healthy snacks.

Wow. We're just being hurtful. Okay. There's no spice in them. It doesn't exist. It's not a spice that I guess peppers are just rough on my belly. I guess. For sure. The peppers. Like you'll eat something that's just, Oh, this is a test that I repeated far too many times. There's a cause and effect that can't be denied. That sucks. So like when you eat salsa, are you like preparing yourself or is

it not enough peppers in the salsa? I don't know if she I don't know I don't know no no peppers don't their salsa doesn't seem to do that to me but when she puts you know I used to have those um uh oh we call it a lavish at my house that means nothing to most people but it's like a a wrap and it has chicken and peppers and I don't know what else in it and that would upset my stomach. I eat so many peppers. It peppers might be like top three on the quantity, you know, of stuff I take in. Like if I was up, if an alien was trying to feed me and like, well, he's eating a lot of peppers. We're going to need to stock up on those.

I got some rice, some chicken. I dice, I dice, um, red and green bell pepper because they're also like 60 cents of pepper But I and even before I got more healthy I used to one of my go-to meals was stuffed bell peppers and you know Just chop the top off and love it rice and chicken and taco seasoning and stuff I used to I made this for wings when he was staying with me. That was my idea of healthy But it's not unhealthy. It was a very healthy drawer. Yeah It's not unhealthy. It was a step up.

Oh, it's very healthy. Yeah. Yeah. It was a fall down and roll around and healthiness is what that was compared to what it was eating before. But anyway, I feel like shit. I feel so awful. I've got these like pinchy cramps in my stomach.

That's so. And uh. Do you have a rumbly tongue? No, I laid in bed for like all like I say I woke up at 11 and was sick and I went right back to bed Because I had chills. I was I was like shivering and Hopefully you're not getting sick for real. You don't think that was you know, the good have been a flu It's food poison 100% like like this is like I'm better almost now. Like I'm like 90% good now I'm just sort of sad that I was sick all day. I'm in that mode

It's like because it probably dehydrated You need your electrolytes for plenty. No, no, I got my iced coffee here. That keeps me going Yeah, I felt so tremendously bad though I was laying in bed just shivering and then and I would get all the covers around me and I'm wearing sweats in bed Covered up and then like all of a sudden I would be so overheated I couldn't I'm like, oh my god, strip naked, strip naked in the fan on high and like fan yourself and then all the all the sweat would evaporate and I was so much colder than I was the first time and I'm bundling back up.

And this was my day. I've been in that sick cycle before. It's not fun. Yeah. You have to go through this like every two months. Every every maybe every four for real, like probably probably three or four times a year, I get this ill from food that I eat that I shouldn't have eaten or something. I don't know. It's do do. It's human do do in my. No, I wanted to and I felt like any effort like and I can throw up right now, but I just drank some Alka-Seltzer. You have to get that done.

If I'm sick, like if I have the flu or some stomach bug, and I feel even like a 2% like I could throw up right now, I will err on the side of forcing it. And it's probably not true, but like I'm convinced it's like, the evil will come out. It's the same as diarrhea if you're sick.'s like, if something's coming out of you, it means there's less badness on the inside. Yeah. No, I usually go by that method, but I just couldn't bring myself to vomit. And my, my morning breath was also so gross.

I was just woke because I'd laid in bed for too long. My mouth had gotten weird. And I was like, I don't want to, I want to brush my teeth, not vomit. I want to go to the other one. Like, this is a couple couple months ago I ate a bunch of garlic bagel chips oh yeah like fell asleep late at night and like must not have brushed my teeth that night and I woke up the next morning it was like do I have a medical issue yeah like medical grade halitosis is like oh yeah the garlic chips just so terrible day I haven't done anything at all I just just just felt so shitty all day. The dogs

disappointed me sucks To take your mind off of it or anything maybe some old comfort shows I couldn't get out of like I wanted to sleep through it I've been asleep all day like like I got up maybe Like got up got up and took a shower about an hour and a half ago And and that that's when my day truly began the rest of the day has been me disappointing the dogs. They just sit by the bed and go, oh. Yeah, they're like, you know, you want to play?

We usually play about now. I'm like, I'm dying. I'm dying. You fucker learn to use your stairs. I got Murphy little stairs. He can't use them unless I unless I get Jim Jams and then he flies up them. He's selectively capable to come up the stairs. He'll beg for an hour and sleep under the bed if you don't pick him up. But if you got some Jim jams, he'll sprint up that goddamn thing.

Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim. These little these little packets of strawberry jam. I I give him little Jim jams. You just hold it open and let him eat it. I squeeze it into his mouth a little at a time and like get him to do tricks and stuff. You want more Jim jams? I want more Jim jams. He's going to have diabetes soon, but he's going to know so many tricks.

He's the most talented, uh, three-footed Pomeranian in the world by the time I'm done. He's such a cute dog. Definitely far and away my favorite of your clan. I met a girl, I wanted to impress her so I bought this what is that oh it's a vaporizer it's an incredibly lame nicotine vape is what it is it's so fucking gay I didn't know it did all this shit I was joking about the girl because this is like the gayest thing I own it's so fucking lame why don't you get the standard one he's joking about the girl the truth is he met a boy. I'm gonna do turn me on to this last vape.

Yeah. Well, you look sick. I know. Vaping is one of those like animation. We all this crazy shit. It's like play a Mexican's car. Hit it again. So it show it because like I didn't realize how animated it was.

It's a gamified your nicotine consumption. Winkle nicotine. Yeah, it's it's so lame. I didn't know it did any of this shit. I was like, hey, let me get one of them nicotine vapes to that weed vape. I was like, I miss a little nicotine in my life and then he was like, oh, this geek bar.

Everyone loves it. And I was like great snake. this geek bar. Everyone loves it. And I was like, great snake. So like, oh, flavor. Oh, sour mango pineapple dude. Here I am with this sour. It's a pretty good snake. It's my best substance. I'm totally going to roll.

Hey, little dude, Bart. I can almost do one of them. You can almost do auto. Almost do auto. Yeah. Like, like in brief sprints, you know, I got like a couple of. You'll get the auto. I've been getting.

Well, that sucks. I'm sorry. Are you sick? It's no fun. I'll be all right. I, I, I, I genuinely am like 90% better. I'm just sad that I was sick. I'm a little traumatized by my day that I had. It

was so gross and icky. Also, like not to get too gross, but like when I did go to the bathroom, man, I snuck that thing up. So whatever was coming out, did it was the captain D. Yeah. If it was a one diarrhea sickness day, you know, not too bad. Because I've, I'm remembering times where you were sick for like three day stretches off food. Yeah, I've been there was one time about a year and a half, two years ago where I was like pooping blood and and just shivering all day. Like for two days I was I was unwell. Were you actually shitting blood or was it just

like you were wiping and it was red? No no no no no no no no I was shitting blood. It was like the I and I of course you start googling and it's like yeah with E. coli or whatever or something like that like the inside of your intestines are like slothing off or some shit from the poisoning and I was like okay good not cancer then right? No not cancer. I mean unless you shit blood tomorrow and I'm like And it's also that embarrassing cancer that you gotta go and you're like, hey I'm pooping blood You're gonna want to take a look at my poop, right? Oh And where it comes from let's get in there, Right. You can never have deltoid cancer. Yeah.

Oh, my ripped ass back is little cancers. You want to get, I mean, you can climb up there and see if you do anything about when you have to get a, give a sample at the doctor's office, like ask for a magazine for the sample. Well, it's going to take me a while. I may as well jack off. Well, it's going to take me a while. I may as well jack off a little more relaxed. Kevin did that. He's like, I'd like a magazine. It's just urine. I'd still like one. Or Hank Hill when they're he's trying to give give come for his sperm sample and the doctor's

like, Mr. Hill, would you like a magazine? a magazine he's like yeah do you have auto mechanics like no mr. Hill please just jack off oh poor Hank I'm gonna do that either doctor's office I've never given a cum sample no I bet it's not even as odd that awkward I bet it's like I know you had that fertility question like back in the day that turned out to be the surgeon's botching Jackie C-section. That's exactly right. Yeah. So and I had that testicular torsion.

So even though we had a kid already, it was still like, could be me, you know, like, but it wasn't. Oh, yeah. I didn't even think about that. Right. So I handled like immediately and that wouldn't cause anything Well, it was immediately but immediately is like when a doctor here minutes later Yeah, you're gonna fertility issue and the doctor says have you ever had any like testicular damage? Yeah, let me tell you a story

Like I saw that doctor house MD over here year. It's not lupus. Yeah. Not lupus. But, uh, yeah. So you know what? Everybody else in the like it was working there was so used to handle income all the time that it was no big deal. It was me who was a little shy like handing it back worried that she judged like my volume or consistency. Yeah. Flavor. Right. Well, no, she said the flavor was fine. It was the rest that I was worried about. You trying to

pump your dose up a little look frosting. We're gonna call you the Pillsbury Doughboy you cheat son of a bitch. Lost in on a cum connoisseur like me. I don't know what it is. But there is a hand cream that's apparently is used in the porn industry as fake cum because it's a perfect match. I forget what it is. You think in porn they just use cum? No like when they have giant loads and you know the person's covered or something that's okay. They make a lubricant now that looks like cum. I think it's just called cum and they come to these big jugs and they spell cum all like like they leaned into it You know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, of course. But I mean like the letters themselves are all commie

Like they have a good time with their back. Yeah No, that's but especially those fetish gals who will use like the toys that it put eggs in your butthole and weird stuff like that They'll also there's also the dildos that have the pump with the reservoir So the the the dildo will cream your butthole and weird stuff like that. They'll also there's also the dildos that have the pump with the reservoir. So the the the dildo will cream pie you. And so they'll load that thing up with so much come. And so you'll just just just just a great time. So is it because girls like that vibe or because girls are putting on a show,

putting on a show, there's no girl in her own private bedroom, like, all right, let me load up the cummy dildo. I have a stupid question. I think there are girls who like being cummed in. There are girls with breeding fetishes. There are girls who, you know, that is their, that's one of their favorite parts. I mean, that's probably the most common one.

Every girl wants that. Yeah, but what they like isn't't something squirted into their pussy. It's the it's being bred. It's like the idea of a baby and being pregnant, even if it's like not that specific, it's a trap. It's a trap. But I was just wondering, like, if that kink extends to their fantasy world, too, just it extends to only fans

and dirty people on the internet though. And if you play a gal enough, she'll start shooting fake. Come inside. We have names, Kyle. Talking about, uh, this like medical testing and everything. Last time I got like, uh, uh, uh, STD tests, like have to give blood and, and pee and a top and whatever, like it's, it was a similar thought to similar thought to like that you could just, when you're driving, you're like, I could just go into this ditch right now. I could just turn into this ditch,

like maladaptive thinking, I guess. But there was no security person. Like the lady took my blood, and then she was like, all right, here's your cup, pee in this cup, and then just go up to that second door and put it on a tray. And like there were dozens of other people's urine and samples up there and there was nobody keeping an eye on it. I know I wouldn't. I wouldn't swap it because I wanted I wanted to know if I had STDs. But like I knew I was in my head thinking like I could ruin so much right now. Like these aren't like secure. These people are all trying to prove they're drug free. I could send someone to jail.

I just open up nine of them and I'm a bartender pouring my own rainbow shot of drug. This I was just thinking like, my God, like someone's job is on the line here. Someone's like worried if they have an STD and that's just a tray of... It's just urine. It's not... I always figured it'd be... No, it was... They took my blood first and then they had me go pee in the cup. Oh, it's by the way. Yeah. And it depends what you do. If this was like a... It wasn't at a doctor's office. It was at like a blood testing center.

And so it was like you go and you can check an option. And it was like, I just was like, oh, give me the full panel fucking STD thing. And then, yeah, blood was it. Do you remember? I think it was like 150. That's not bad. So it really wasn't too bad. The lady was dog shit at getting my blood, though. I had a bruise for like a week because she was like rifling around in there with the needle

All right. So I I do my std tests at home. Um, I just give myself a good one once over and you're good Never had an std except that one time my saliva tastes normal i'm fine. I Heared that one with such oils, you know a little Yeah, a little little medical science is a fraud No, what I actually do is I do it. I I actually do do it at home. I order like mail in yeah, you just mail it in and They don't need all that blood from you. Yeah, they need but you just do the thumb or a finger prick And then and there's like a there's like a scorecard with little circles on it And it's it says fill each circle to the margins with blood

And I'm like, okay, no problem They're little circles like tic tacs or something and I don't know if you can imagine this but when you touch liquid blood to this paper It absorbs it in a very Kleenex almost yeah Yeah, it really spreads out and takes it in but it's just like a thumb prick and some pee and some saliva and And you it's all packaged on that. Yes. Does that cost is it cheaper? $182 something like oh, I would have thought it would cost less if like Because there's only the last advantage

It's oh like well I see the advantage to be that not only do you get a really quick turnaround like and your your results are online presented you But you don't have to deal with going anywhere or dealing with the slight embarrassment of like hey doc We got like I guess I would do a doctor's appointment would be my first step if I if I didn't do what I do Like hey, I want an STD test and then I'm paying like all the doctor stuff I would think a lab core type thing would be your next lab core would make sense.

Yeah. But I, I can see why it might be worth a premium to have like an extra level of privacy and convenience, but I could, if you told me it was cheaper because they don't have to have a phlebotomist take your stuff. It might be, it's, it's been a minute. So I've got like, I bought two or three of the kits whenever I bought it and they're just in a drawer.

And you know, if I ever have a scare or like, it's just time to test myself again. Is it the full panel one? Or just like the- It's a bunch of shit. It's in the past and I've like gone to Urgent Cares and been like, hey, SDD test me. They only do the big four, which is like-

Well, the big four, which is well, the big four is all that matters. Yes. HIV, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis. And is it HIV? I got HIV. If you're not testing for HIV, then I don't want to test. Like that's all that matters. I want the one that kills people or they get used to. I want the one that ruins the end of the injury. When you go and do your like STD testing, like, because I do this, like I'll know for a fact, it's like I probably have nothing and there's zero percent chance I have AIDS because I'm not having gay sex or doing intravenous drugs. But like I'll go and I'll, and I'm not doing like blood stuff and I'll go to the get,

to get tested. And in my head, I'm like, what if I have AIDS? Like, Oh my God, I could have AIDS. But you could be one of those guys. And it's like, like, and then you get the results back and it's like, you don't have AIDS. And it's like, of course I didn't, but like there's, it's such a scary disease that even the thought you're being tested for it is scary. My vaginal sex. It's super difficult. Like pretty much never.

It's going to be like transfusion. I had a girlfriend, her HIV test came back in conclusive. That's awful. Oh my God. And so they're like, Oh, we'll have to send it to the super duper AIDS testing lab now. And it'll be an extra like two or three days And she tells me this off handedly like it's no big deal. And so I'm googling inconclusive HIV test at doctor What does this mean and people are like sometimes it means it came up positive and they don't want to tell you right away

They want to like make sure for sure before they tell someone. And so immediately I'm like, Oh no, oh no, oh this is it. I haven't been losing weight. No you can't test my lemonade. I'm not sharing shit with you until we get these results. Yeah. She's like, try this spaghetti sauce. She's like, handed the spoon to me. And I'm like, like Poppy, I'm like, you would want me to do that you whore You want us to be in this together? I'm not raw dog in that spoon put a rubber on it. Yeah Yeah, it was that was scary. But other than that I've only had the one actual positive, you know thing with the sif

Which I think is nifty. I think it's like Very retro. Do you think it's? Retro appeal. Come on. That's a that's a retro tango. You've never tangoed with the clap. Not at once. No, that's from Dirty Women and like children or something. I think people, the only people and I mean the only people that ever get chlamydia. It's usually guys who hang out at like weird video stores or mess with kids If you ever tested positive or anything Taylor, oh man, no, I haven't had chlamydia like three times

No, I think it was twice Yeah, they call the cops and they just I just give you a couple pills and then Being so what is it a long course of antibiotics? Is that what it is? Uh It was first time I had it was in college and I think it was like four days of antibiotics or something and The last time was also so fucking long ago. And it's what's the one that burns when you pee that I think like chlamydia gonorrhea, I think they can both do that, but like I never waited for symptoms.

These are just things that like after I had sex with someone, I didn't know that well, I went and got tested and was like, Oh, well, that explains that. We're syphilis with both people and some of these just with girls, it's so symptom free. They don't get it cured until like they get strep throat or something and it just picks up that along the way. Yeah that's true. You can have some of those STDs for long long times and never know especially guys like a guy can have gonorrhea and not know for a super long time apparently. Maybe I have it backwards.

Some people don't get it after with syphilis you're non communicable after a year or a year and a half or something So it's not even like your partner. Let's say you're asymptomatic, but your partner would if they potentially got Syphilis like it would show I get a rash or something or whatever But you're asymptomatic after a year or you're not communicable I should say so like you never pass it on to her unfortunately Did you have the conversation with someone you were with like I just tested positive for this I think you should check yourself out. No. No they need to know about that. They probably gave it to you But that's a scenario in my head

Oh, I had had it for so long like like there's no telling. Like, first of all, like, like not to get too braggadocious, but it'd be a lot of, it'd be a lot of ladies. But second of all, it's like, who's to say that I had it- My minutes are capped on my phone, Woody. It'd be like, did I get it last week or did I get it last year? Like, am I, am I, or did I get five years ago? Like, let's not get too crazy with the numbers.

But if you go back a certain period, it's like dozens and dozens and dozens of women. And like, what am I going to call every woman I've ever fucked and be like, Hey, you get tested for syphilis. No, they'll get it figured out. Yeah. I remember this is probably like seven, eight years ago now, like getting tested and having something like chlamydia. And then the doctor at the office being like, yeah, so, you know, you just take these and you'll definitely want to, you know, call any recent partners and then talk to them about it. And I'm like,

definitely that I'm definitely going to do that. Just, oh, my whole friend group. I'll let them all know. Sure. I'm going to tweet it. How about that? Everybody, you know, I was thinking it was time for a new nickname for me. Let me get right to that. I'm not going to have a, in my head, I'm like, nah, they were, I'm the, I'm the victim here. They're the ones who tagged me with it. So I'm, absolutely. I am. Yeah.

I was the big, my embarrassing problem until I talk about it on my podcast. I got syphilis from a blood transfusion. No, you didn't. You got it from dirty, dirty coochie. It was dirty coochie. That's it had to be. Yeah. I'm the pussy juice.

I don't think I've had any of these things and I I've never had a fever blister on my lip either. That's for life. That's for life. Yeah. Yeah. I think you get those,'t you? Oh, yeah Yes, the herpes. Um, and I've got the pills for it. Are they here? Yeah, I can see them over there

No, it's something else. I got a lot of pills. Um No, um, hey, i've got pills here somewhere valacyclovir. I think which is like prescription grade Um not cold sore necessarily but just herpes medicine like if you have general herpes that's what they prescribe you Larvae's in no fucking big deal you get like a little rashy bump every now And then on your on your Johnson, and then you take some pills And it's gone in three or four days, and you're good to go again in a week I don't have that kids are fever blisters to same exact thing like there's there's herpes like one and two or something like that

No one's ever been able to actually explain to me the difference and if you read online You know, you'll you'll like read yourself into these circles where you're like, but wait, you just said that about the other one What's what's the actual difference because I had a girl's pussy one time and the cold sore was like 99.9% gone now it was just like a red pigmented a slightly red pigmented area right here. There was nothing like scabby or bumpy or like, I don't know. There's not as the top layer of skin's not exactly wasn't that it was just a little bit darker because it'd been two weeks.

I eat her pussy and she had the worst herpes outbreak on her pussy of all time. You can't prove cause and effect. She's like, I've got I've got blisters inside my pussy, Kyle blisters in my pussy. And you're like, oh, gross. I was like, oh, gross. But I was bringing her like bags of frozen peas to sit on because the pain was so bad. It was a problem. I was so I felt terrible. But she, you know, we had a discussion in bed. It wasn't like come on

It wasn't that it was she was like, come on eat it and I was like, I don't know been I've been two weeks, but maybe we wait till next weekend and we're 100% good Come on, eat my pussy and then you know, then she got herpes pussy, but she never had an outbreak again So that's another one of those weird like she got that one outbreak and then years passed and never again did she have the issue? I only get fever blisters. I Guess I used to get them as a kid much more often and then in adulthood I don't get them pretty much at all Unless like I'm leading up into getting very sick

Like if I can feel like a real deal flu coming on Like it seems like that's the time it'll crop up because I guess your immune system is like all right We have to back off this battle and fight this this other more important one right now, but Knock on wood. Thankfully. I haven't had one of those in a long time. They're so gross. They're so nasty looking I remember before I had the pills Um, I would put those creams on there and they just make things worse They make you make it shiny and easy to spot from across a fucking football field that they like speed the process They're like like I'll have just like I'll have what looks like the beginnings of a pimple and then I'll put that cream on

It overnight and when I wake up, it looks like ringworm on my lip. It looks like a gooey scabby Pussy almost like like growth on my lip. I remember oh my god when I was 16 or something like a gooey scabby pussy almost, like growth on my lip. I remember, oh my God, when I was 16 or something, working at Video Warehouse, the classiest of VHS rental and DVD rental establishments. And I had the worst cold sore on my lip

and I was working the cash register. And this old guy must have been 70 75 weren't Looks like somebody popped you in the mouth And like said it so loud You're like I'm a veteran. Oh my god. I was like 16 or 18 or something like like somewhere in there 16 17 I was just like it's a cold sore. Here's your change. Enjoy fucking Marley and me. You piece of shit. That would be funny if you spoiled the movie. You know what? That's a little embarrassing,

but not as embarrassing as swapping your movie with Debbie Does Dallas. The movie's supposed to be so fun. I know, it's an event. Going was always like a, it was, yeah, I liked the smell of it. It wasn't a vent. Even if it was just you and your family or you and your friends on a weekend going and then just spending 30 minutes there arguing

and being like, okay, we're gonna rent one movie. And then by the end, you rent four and everybody has their preferred movie. There's usually preferred deal. I just do like, you know, three movies is X amount. You like, you save money if you get a certain amount of movies. I remember there was always something like 40% of blockbusters revenues came from late fees. Yeah. Yeah.

And they were unforgiving about that shit. All of them were. Yeah. You return it on the right day, but it was like whatever one o'clock instead of noon. That's it. They double the charge. It'd be that was the first thing I fucked up on my credit when I was, when I, when I, when I first got credit was I rented something from this one.

It was called movies and they had a cow mascot. And I rented like a game and a movie. And then like a week went by and I was like, oh shit We didn't take that back. It's been under a stack of like other other movies and covers and stuff I didn't I forgot I didn't take that one back. I took the other one back and They were they wanted it was like the cost of the game And oh, yeah, they're charging me like five dollars a day or something. And I was like, you know what? Fuck you. I'm keeping Mark Martians three or whatever. It was some PlayStation game where you kidnap people and as an alien,

like you're like a flying saucer, like fucking with cows and burning farms. And I was like, I'm keeping the game. Then like they put that shit on my credit. Hollywood video was Hollywood video blackballed my mom Hollywood video blackballed my mom. Over a period of years, she would rent all of the Harry Potters because my youngest brother liked the Harry Potters. At one point, I was in my brother's room and he had all the Harry Potters. They were all in the Hollywood video boxes. So one time, me and a couple of my were all in the Hollywood video boxes. And so one time me and a couple of my friends drove to this Hollywood video

cause it was near my house and we were going to get movies, you know, for that evening. And we tried to go up there and get some. And I used like my mom's like video card or whatever, cause I guess you're supposed to use those for savings or something in the future, some rewards program. And the guy was like, yeah, we can't rent you these. She is blackball that shows that she has Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the fucking secret of Azkaban, Harry Potter and it was every Harry Potter movie. I think at that point, like probably six of them were out. And so six Harry Potter movies were just sitting there at my house. And so then we had to go pop on over to

Blockbuster, still got the movies. It was fine. And so then we had to go pop on over to Blockbuster. Still got the movies. It was fine. And they get what they get. They're out of business. Get fucked. Hollywood video. Right. They're all as good as Blockbuster. Anyway, they didn't have that fun. And there's a there's only one video store that's open that I can think of.

There's a place called I think it's a Videodrome here in Atlanta. And it's kind of cool to go there. I haven't been in probably more like a collector's place now for actually buying movies right? No it was no it was it's a video rental place. I remember several years ago maybe four or five years ago we needed a we wanted to watch something and we couldn't get it anywhere it wasn't on wasn't online and it wasn't Redbox so we went to Videodrome and they had it. Okay. A red box makes no sense to me. They just went bankrupt. They're done. Did they? Oh man.

I like that they existed. I've never rented from them ever but I don't know. I just thought it'd be cool if it was there. Yeah, I have like twice. You know, if you're at a CVS pharmacy if you're at a CVS pharmacy, then you've seen red box. That's where I saw it. I mean, yeah, yeah. That's where they all are. You said the grocery store years ago, maybe two times. And every time you'd use it, I'm like, Oh, this is, this is inconvenient. I have to just drive back and return this. This might be nerdy. Am I the only one looking forward to the debate tonight?

I'm like legit like age of mythology came out, brother. I don't give a fuck about? I'm like legit like age of mythology came out brother. I don't give a **** about what I'm debating about. This is like a big event. I've been boy. I've been counting down days like oh it's coming. It's coming. I can't wait to

see it. I don't I don't know how it's gonna go. Uh you know you hope that like the prosecutor beats the 78 year old Handley but you know Trump's been in a lot of debates and I don't remember him ever getting trounced like Biden did Yeah, he just doesn't he doesn't seem to have that like desire in him anymore like he used to like I Could see him just kind of phoning it in. I don't know he has a

an ability to like spew gobbledygook with confidence and At least half of America doesn't see it as gobbledygook and that like that's one of his superpowers Yeah, we'll see I I would not be surprised if the Harris won Yeah, she'll win on paper probably that's the most likely outcome, right? Maybe he will probably side with her if it's close at all. They're gonna say harris one, but I can't recall the last debate That was like mind changing outside of the the most recent one biden trump. Yeah, right a lot of people Yeah abandoned biden that's an outlier because yeah Yeah, but take all the trump hillary debates all the trump biden Biden debates I feel like they didn't move the needle at all. Jfk back

Okay. Yes, that's a good one. Um, but uh, you know the Obama Mitt Romney debates I don't know that they really moved the needle may I don't know every time Obama got to speak. It was like shit Don't let him talk it will be fine was like, shit, don't let him talk. It will be fine. You know, that was on the other side for me. Like, so when I see Trump speak, I don't see the magic everybody else does. And when I saw Obama speak, I was like, would you pick up the pace a little bit?

All these unnecessary pauses, they're not working for me. Make your point coherently and quickly, please. But everybody else thought he was a master. I agree with you, actually. Like his cadence was too slow. And it was too, it was almost self indulgent at time. Yeah. Or what is the pro wrestling term? Like when you something like you, you fall for your own mark, I'm messing it up.

Oh, I know that the concept you're putting forth, but yeah, yeah. Like, anyways, I think he started drinking his own Kool-Aid and up. Oh, I know the concept you're putting forth, but I don't know what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, like anyways, I think he started drinking his own Kool-Aid. And people love it when I talk with tons of unnecessary pauses. So now I will go down on that. And it's like, bro, stop. Pick it up.

Battle it off. I might be the most beloved politician in American history. Say that again? You off. The most beloved politician in American history. The what? Say it again? He might be the most beloved politician and president in like modern American history. Like, there's a lot of tarnish on them. Clinton's these days.

He's incredibly polarizing. I wouldn't say that. I'd say like some like some mealy-mouthed who gives a fuck guy like Jimmy Carter would probably be the like because no one no one gives dude it's oh are you talking about like overall or like now in this moment i mean i think he means certainly right now in like the now someone like him who's so far back and like people don't even remember the shit he pulled that's the way it goes like the same way they try and rehabilitate bush now where they're like he's just like a just like a silly billy like he didn't murder a million Iraqis under false pretenses in a war he's just a

goober look at him hugging Michelle Obama I might be falling for it cuz like if we talk about who they are now right He's hanging in there. Right? I know he might have been a live true hour ago. It's 5050 now. But but anyway, yeah. Jimmy Carter for the last I'll call it 20 years has been the habitat for humanity guy, right? I don't even really know his presidential record very well. Yeah, it was George W Bush. He's a political. You can't get him to choose between Trump and uh Harris right now. He won't render an opinion and he's just like listen that's kind of my bad my previous

life. I'm a painter now and he's in a pretty good one as we've seen here. Very good man. Lightyear's better than me. He's he's worse than Hitler at painting. Arguably. Yes. But better than me. What scale are you grading him on? He didn't do it. Art school. That was the whole fucking thing. You know about Hitler. You should know he didn't make it into art school.

Yeah. Did he not make it? I thought it was really, is that it? That they didn't think it wasn't except him. Do you think, uh, do you think the Jewish guy who was letting people in that year, I thought it was, I thought it, really? Is that it? That they didn't even accept him? Yeah. Dang. Do you think the Jewish guy who was letting people in that year, like as it like kicked off, eight, nine, 10 years later, he's like,

I really should have just let him in. Like, this guy's saying some wild stuff now and it's really catching on. Obama is one of the more popular guys right now. I think even the right would give him like a whatever 20 30% approval rating, which is pretty good from the other side. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but we'll see. Anyway, so I'm excited about the debate tonight. I don't know how it's going to be graded, how it's going to go. If Harris is going to have any

big gotcha moments. I think from Harris's side, she just needs to appear confident and strong. Because I grade these things on who best articulates their policy positions and do I like them? But I think the world grades them on who had the right vibe. And Harris needs to do the strong leadership thing. And Trump needs to do the strong leadership thing and Trump needs to do the Stable genius thing not the joke but like the actual he needs to look stable and together and not crazy How many dicks did you set to get here? Right that probably odd I got your needs nads Not gonna go well. I'm looking forward to I want to see the handshake. They've never met before

Fucking daps are up. Yeah, I want like Our heels they have rules against I think harris wanted to stand on a platform So they have the same height and then trump's team is like, nah, you can't have that. You know, you are who you are I'd bring my own platform though. I'd bring one too. She'd step on up to six feet even and I'd step on up to seven four. I'm standing on the Constitution. It's actually a very small book, didn't realize it. It's not any taller at all. My dumb ass shows up with the Declaration of Independence, it's one page. So I had to get 55 copies of it instead. Yeah. No, that,

that's almost like, I feel like a misplay optically from Trump. Like you look like a goober standing on a platform, like a woman would, it would look silly. It looked like a child doing like a, you know, a lot of debates have had, don't fall. Yeah. A lot of debates have had platforms. fall yeah a lot of debates have had platforms so on tv you look like parallel obviously there's the step up there's that moment you're talking about but after that they look the same if she looks like a child in front of the is i don't know the difference between an electorate and a podium but if she looks like a child where it's like up

to her neck and he looks like a man that'd be a good look for him. We'll see. Is she really small? I don't think so, no, but compared to him, he's just a much bigger person. Just how tall is she? Throw me a throw me a Kamala Harris height bet. Five six, five six. Okay, I bet. I'm gonna bet she's tall because she's, you know, in politics and whatever. Kyle locked in five six. I love five six, but given that it's taken, I'm going to say five, seven, five, four. Ooh. Yeah. I would have gone down instead of up. Yeah. I made a mistake. Yeah. My mom is five, four, tiny, tiny.

I know my mom's five, four. I know. I know. My girl was five flat. And it's like, you're a, you're barely an adult. Like, she's like, yeah, I know shit. You saw my ID. My mom was like five nine. Really? All late. It's all my wife is five seven. So that has just become normal woman's height to me, even though I think it's way above average. Definitely. I think regular or average height in America for a woman's like five,

three, five, four right around. I would have said four. I'll Google it. in America for a woman's like five, three, five, four, right around. I would have said four. I'll Google it. Jesus. Your ex-wife was five 11 Zach and you're tall. Man. Those kids are going to be just being stocks. It's just been just being stocks, tall as Taylor. Did you say five, three or five, four? Yeah. That would be my guess. It's five, three and a half. There we go. Yeah. But as we know, you know, they're all these South

Americans coming here, they're starting to tank our height average. Not only that, Mexico being the fattest country in the world, they're they're blowing. I think here's a little factoid about that five, three and a half average woman height. We looked up their average weight last week. Now it's even more upsetting. Now it's even more upsetting because like a dude can be six feet to 25. And it's like, bro, getting chubby over there. Yeah, these ladies are five, three, one seventy. That's average fat as fuck.

That's crazy. That's yeah, that's really I don't even know what the BMI is there, but I know that's unhealthy. All of it. really I don't even know what the BMI is there, but I know that's unhealthy all of them good Yeah, all of it all the BMI who's the tallest and Skinniest country. I know the Danes are the tallest Oh, I feel like there's an African country that has been pulled somewhere and Nordic as well Like you're gonna you're gonna pull from one of those places the Nordic region I know the region like the Nordic people

I'm like the North Europeans are the tallest, but I don't know if they're like all Skinny and skinny. They've got plenty of food there. The Africans have an advantage. They do poverty and malnutrition keeps him Keeps him light and they're running all the time The canyons just little guys great at running I'm gonna get all day but with some bubbly is you know dude Zimbabwe they're gonna be short really yeah like most of Africa isn't as tall Ethiopia I'm gonna go with Ethiopia I'm changing that those are my tall skinny boat I'm having a hard time finding both

I would think like Nigeria would be the tallest of like black countries because I feel like you have the most food, but I don't know. Is that where we got our slaves from over here? Because like every Nigerian I ever meet, it's like, holy fuck, dude. You're Nigerian East Africa. I genuinely have no idea where he is. I don't know anything about Africa, but I know every Nigerian I ever met was a gigantic motherfucker and every Somalian I've ever met. Well, I mean, they look skinny and impoverished

just even when they live here. I guess Nigeria is like Central Africa. No, that isn't where I thought like slave trade stuff was more like Mauritania, Senegal, that area still like like maybe captured them on the our west west yeah yeah makes yeah okay or maybe even Morocco I knew I had a buddy from Morocco and he was itty bitty he was like an elf person they wear this was he black I'm pretty sure a lot of Morocco is like a like North African like Arab he could pass for Mexican like like he could have passed for Mexican. And he was going to a party one day some fancy Moroccan party and his shoes were like those genie shoes that like turn up toward back toward you and have a little bell on them.

I love that. I was like bro you you look so much it was green. The whole thing was like light green like like not like a hunter green, not Christmas green. It was like this really nice and I think it was all linen and it was very cool. But I was like, dude, you look so much like a fucking Santa's elf. You look so much like Santa's help that it's not. He's like, what do you mean? Because he's Muslim. And so he didn't know that. And I got to pull up Santa's helpers and I'm showing him the elves. I'm like, look at their shoes, dude. I'm zooming in. and his helpers and I'm showing him the elves and I'm like, look at their shoes, dude. I'm zooming in. He went, fuck.

This is like what hardcore badasses were in my country. Yeah. Yeah. It could like the Jordans of my land. There were no, there was no overlap in the top 10 tallest and thinnest people. So I, I thought if anyone was on both, that'd be the answer, but I didn't get it. Yeah. That's probably hard because they're going to go by weight, whereas there'd need to be some sort of like BMI thing. Right. Because it'd be like, like if Denmark is the tallest country, but their BMI is lower or higher rather than fucking, I don't know, India, they might not make that list, even though India're very little people. Yeah in Denmark

They're very tall but one would assume they're not that light because they're heck is it all or yeah Yeah I watched a I've been watching a bunch of Shane Gillis clips from like four or five years ago like right after he got canceled And it's so funny. It's so funny Like he's it's one of those things where someone's telling like you ask a comedian about their wife dying in an accident and they make it funny But you can tell there's so much pain underneath the surface and he'll even stop and says he's like it's fine It's fine. As long as you you know, you you joke about it, but you you stop and it's The nights get lonely, you know, it's dark

It's funny, right? It's funny and he just keeps like turning it around and making it funny because as he was being canceled He was on a train. He's poor. He just got signed to SNL. Oh, money's coming around the corner. I don't know what they make. They probably pay pretty well. And like more than an open mic or every time the train makes a stop, he gets service again on his phone because they're out of the tunnels and shit.

And he's getting he's like, oh, he's as he's being canceled. He's getting like these these little breaks and updates every step of the way. And I heard him tell a story about being in Mexico and he was like, we walked in this place and it's going to your marijuana. And he was like, cocaine. And the guy was like, see, he's like, so we go back in there and a back alley. He's like, your phone, your phone. No, he's like, I got out my phone and he like sprinkled the coke on it.

And like I did a line of coke and then he did a line of coke. And then suddenly he went, policy. And he ran and I ran the other way and we got the fuck out of there. That's when I realized, yeah, my phone robbed me. There I am in Mexico with no phone. He's like, that's my maps. That's my translator. That's my like obviously contact to other people.

That's a really good scam. Give me your phone. I got to chop it up on there and then we'll take a couple lines. You even do a decoy line. You give him some so that, you know, now he runs away quickly. Yeah. And now he's high. And what's he gonna do actually go to the cop Let's talk to a Mexican cop. She's gonna blackmail him or something. Yeah, Mexican cop probably be like $100 and $100 and you like help me out

$100 yeah, it's rob you there. You know, like I watched it I I probably have some xenophobic takes on Mexico and other countries in general, but man, I watched a video just like yesterday. They're like a couple miles into Mexico out of Texas. And the cartel is set up trying to capture them. Like there's like cars doing like maneuvers trying to pin them in, and they're having to go like up and over medians.

And the driver's like, that's the cartel. And like people are chasing their car on foot and they're having to like get the fuck out of there. It's like that. I saw that here and This is so when I watch stuff like that. I put myself in that guy's place I would not have known to take extraordinary measures to avoid talking to the people in the road It's a good thing that wasn't me because I had had a roll down my window like, can I help you guys? Mi ama es Woody. Me jugo al fútbol. I hear that you like soccer. What the fuck?

They all look at each other. Just use the small amount of Spanish I do know. And they're like, this guy likes to talk about clowns at the library. All he talks about is that goddamn Biblioteca. That's no good. Yeah. It looks scary as fuck. I don't know what they're going to do to him. Probably just rob him. Maybe. I saw, I've seen them before. They'll take your truck. Like specifically if you have a truck, like they want that for business purposes and like not only like hauling drugs, but I guess it's, you know, as a

military type vehicle for them to ride around and do their shit, like a big four door F one fifties like clutch to them and they'll just take your shit. Did they buy one? I mean, they're the cartel. They probably cost money. Yeah. I don't, I was here. They have unlimited money. I'm like, is it really worth the business risk to steal Woody's truck when you could,

when money means nothing to you? I think they have like a lot of money the same way like the military does where like a veteran with one foot might not be getting full compensation or like good healthcare after the fact. But like the military itself is like loaded. It's like the top guys in the cartel must be rich as fuck, but they're still running a business. Like they're definitely, they have Excel sheets. Like they have their margin.

My take was a lot of times because the cartel exists there, you get this other branch of criminals like coyotes and thieves who will steal and smuggle and then turn around and like sell to the cartel. So like it might not be like El Chapo's grandson out there stealing F-150s, but he probably buys 100 stolen F-150s a year through his like underlings or whatever. I definitely get the argument,

hey, stolen trucks are cheaper than paid for trucks and they're running a business. I also get the argument like, you't want to kidnap Britney Spears and try to get a ransom for her. You know, you might get a couple million, but you're going to have huge problems afterwards. We're going to send the fucking air force. You take Britney bitch. Yeah, exactly. It's Britney bitch. You can't have her. So American fucking icon. Okay. America's sweetheart. Last time I saw her knife in each hand doing a crackhead dance smoking a sick. That's a bad bitch

American right there in her best life. Yeah, Lee Brittney alone. I wonder what What's her deal is she's crazy, right? She's a little crazy seems like it. Yeah, she's a little crazy But would she have been crazy had she never been a celebrity? No, no, definitely not She probably got molested and abused. I don't know about that I think she just got it just ruined her self-esteem Right like like people would call her fat and edit her pictures to make her look fat when she was not fat And it's like what the fuck I've seen those pictures where they're like, this is the unedited Britney Spears They add cellulite and Photoshop and then publish it.

And they say, it's really Britney enjoying some Haagen-Dazs on the beach. And it's like, yes, she was because she was like celebrating her fitness goal. She just finished her world tour. And they're like, and they they Photoshop cellulite on her thighs. And it's like, can you imagine being her? I did see her get heavier, but it is rough for almost every, I'll make it up, 29 year old woman to compete with the version of herself from 10 years earlier. Yeah and she's like probably in her early 40s now so like you're gonna drop off. When she was doing like I can't remember the name of the of the song But I remember her being really tan and really oiled up and like her clothes were kind of torn

All over and like her abs are like popping through the clothes while she's doing like the dance. She's got a lot of eye shadow on Um, she was smoking hot. She always was And I don't know. There's definitely definitely not healthy to be that kind of celebrity to be a world famous celebrity It's it's interesting that Taylor Swift has managed to stay Pretty normal right from the outside looking in she seems like super normal. How old is? Yeah, I think she's really 35 But otherwise pretty normal like 35 or something. I saw her with her Football Travis Kelsey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the lamest fucking hat Yeah, you got the lamest fucking hat. Yeah, I like a Gucci hat.

I'm like, it's not me, right? That hat is stupidly bad. And you don't you might not know Travis Kelsey, but he's known as like a fashionable guy. He does fashion well. His game day drip is always on point. They tell me. And then I saw that hat and I'm like, maybe I'm the one who doesn't know what's cool. Yeah.

Cool. Skinner meme. Could it be me? they tell me and then I saw that hat and I'm like maybe I'm the one who doesn't know what's cool. Yeah. That's not cool to me. The critical Skinner meme. Could it be me? It's the others who are wrong. Oh man. Is he wearing that like, like ironically, like it's, it's kind of a joke he's wearing it because he's wearing suspenders also,

right? He's wearing a Gucci suit. he has is Gucci this so I That's expensive that looks awful. It looks like something you'd get from the gap that bug That's gross. I recognize that Travis is a very good good at his job, right? He's a Hall of Famer They say alright, so it's cool, but when I see his physique It is the 33rd best physique on his team. Like, why is he so good at football? I mean, it is actually it's not even off season right now, actually.

Right. I was going to say they all tend to gain some weight. He makes that little guy walk everywhere with him. I think he's also just like a big guy, right? Isn't he like six five or something? He looks enormous. That's a good look, though. If you've got a little guy, it? Isn't he like six, five or something? He looks enormous. I would. That's a good look, though. If you've got like a little guy, it's like if you're Britney Spears,

you'd want to hop, you know, like a fat, ugly chick walking around everywhere with you like that one that makes you look tall. That's why Colin keeps me around. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. That's smart. OK. What was the?

No, I lost it. Oh, I saw a UGA on top. Number one. And so it begins. Yeah, I don't think NC State is gonna keep their ranking. I don't know if you looked. We played Tennessee, strong team. We came almost within 40 points. So that's not bad. Oh shit, did They get blown out I think I was with also funny like the rock the way fans are I can't remember who I was talking to in our in our Discord the other day, but they're like, yeah, you know what's going on? it's going on with UGA just seems like

The the culture there is a little toxic and I'm like you talking about speeding tickets in the street racing and I'm like they're getting that fucking money Whatever now and everybody can afford a trackhawk and they're fucking flying through Athens, Georgia, which you've never been there Like oh my god, it's not the place to be flying through there is this big like loop on the outside I'm sure that's where everybody's like hauling ass, but it's still a rural area. Like you can't do that there It's right. There's like trees on the side of the road Oh, yeah, you know like fall foliage and houses and and there's drunks. Everybody's fucking drunk It's a bar town like like there's a there's a couple streets there where you can go like bar bar bar bar bar Like one at one after another or if it's not that it's like bar restaurant bar restaurant like it's everybody's fucking drunk

It's college town all of and it's not just UGA. There's multiple schools there. There's a couple of there's a nursing school there I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, we don't have that Tennessee, you know, we've got a, we've got a wholesome program where, you know, and I'm like, then we just beat the fuck out of you last year. Like, what are you talking? Is this, is this like your one thing to hang on to that? You guys are wholesome and you don't get speeding tickets. Why don't you worry about X's and O's Tennessee? It's true. They should. They got blown out by us last year. They should they got blown out by us last year and dude as long as we're number one I don't care what kind of criminality is happening as long as they make it to game day All right, don't kill nobody don't rape nobody. You see that Taylor. It's we now. All right, he's back on board The bread no the braves. No, fuck the braves. To know we're we again. I hate. Always wait, it never wasn't whenever the Braves, however, are like on my feed in my phone. I flick, I flick that shit like it's gore like I flick so hard like it's gore.

Like I just saw a Mexican chopping someone's head off with a chain. So get out of here I don't care about you anymore. I I'm so angry at that. I bet they're losing I bet they're having a shit year I bet I bet they've lost a star player to injury already I bet they're underwhelmed I bet their pitchers underwhelming pitching is underwhelming and I bet they're like second or third in the division behind like Phillies it the Phillies in the Mets or something embarrassing like that. They're fucking losers. They're like second or third in the division behind like Phillies, the Phillies in the Mets or something embarrassing like that. They're fucking losers. They're fucking losers.

They've got the Phillies. Yeah, that was pretty good. They've got the best. They've got one of the best markets in all of baseball. They essentially own the Southeast. They own like the Mason below the Mason Dixon. And don't count Florida. They're not real. It's absurd that they don't have a gigantic fan base to rival the yankees or the red sox or I don't know

Any of those teams on the west coast? But no cardinals fan base is absurd the braves are the first team out of the wild card currently nice job braves. Nice job What's that 120 million dollar? Uh, like a year and 20 a year something like that Fuck them. Ooh, the cartels are not this year. Oh, man. I'm devastated The Phillies are good Baseball oh shit, we don't play Georgia this year. That sucks. I always have fun Fan it's good to see that they're winning. I just learned that Only the only clip I've seen from baseball this year was a brave knocking off your guy your right filters hat hat

What's who's you got a really outspoken right filter? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that guy is cool. That guy's really good. Yeah You said him I would too I'm spacing grace payroll 282 million fucking losers It's the fucking losers enjoy your new stadium out in the suburbs you pieces of shit Bryce Harper's the guy. Yep, you named it He's first base now. Oh Cool. I'm just couldn't run around. I was trying to get a baseball team. What kind of MLB? Yeah. Yeah, apparently we're on the shortlist Oh nice. I wouldn't want one of those. I'd want a savannah banana type situation. That's got to be so Yeah I wouldn't want one of those. I'd want a Savannah banana type situation. That's got to be so Yeah Is there not a baseball team in North Carolina or South Carolina?

No, I don't think so. Yeah, and that's the bravest city even though Raleigh is the capital Charlotte There's not one in Tennessee. There's not one in Alabama. There's not one in Arkansas or Louisiana That the brave should run the entire southeast Like it should be it should be a fan base to be unrivaled because there's two teams in New York Like it's a team. They should brand themselves the Carolina or something. So they pick it out That's what I don't even know where the Panthers are in the NFL. Are they North Carolina, South Carolina? They're in Charlotte, North Carolina. They're just called the Carolina Panthers, right? Right. And the Carolina Hornets do the same thing.

So they'll probably do that if they get a team. That's definitely the move. The Hornets have that like iconic Jersey. Yeah. They were still cool as a kid. I remember I didn't give a fuck about basketball, but the Hornets logo, I was always like, that's that rules. I had a hornet. The Hornets have been really bad for a long time people blame Michael Jordan I think he owned the team or they own the team for a while and just got out of it But they're like it's the worst basketball executive in history Gambling it

Mmm, but Jordan has a big presence in North Carolina. He went to college here. You probably know that but he also seems to own like the car dealerships around here and nice basketball team and more like he's a big business man. I saw he I don't know exactly what it is but I think he travels around the schools and does this uh this youth outreach or some kind of MBA representative type **** and uh the guy was like, alright, free Jordans to everyone here if he misses a shot and there's a lot of kids there. Like the entire gym is full of kids. It must be a thousand pairs of Jordans easy. Although he is Michael Jordan. So you'd think he'd

get a discount and he's a billionaire. He didn't miss a fucking shot. He went around the, the, the, the three point line from one side to the other like it was a contest like he shot from each of the Like corners and went all the way around at one point the host covered his eyes and he sunk the three That's crazy. He should have just missed one Take Michael Jordan pretty good at basketball pretty good at basketball The comments are all like he should have fucking bricked one for fun, done it on purpose, and made it clear. And they're like, a lot of sneakers, bro.

Yeah. I'm like, he's the goat of basketball. He's going to another high school tomorrow. He's going to another high school tomorrow. He can't be giving out Jordan's at every school or whatever. He's going for ruthlessly competitive. He doesn't want to lose, even if it means a child's dream comes true. You've seen the documentary, right, He's like, I'm going for like ruthlessly competitive. He doesn't want to lose even if it

means a child's dream comes true. You've seen the you saw the documentary, right? Where so you probably remember the part where he he's playing quarters before the finals with that with that like back room guy. I can't like a concierge

type guy with a mustache SNL. I think was the one who did it. They made fun of that bit where like Jordan keeps going. He's like, bet me your wife. He's like, he's ruining that guy's life making him play quarters. He's like, your house, your house, put your house up. He's like, you've got my house and all my money, Mike. I don't have anything on me. Your shoes. I want your shoes. Play for your shoes. By the end it's like your wife. Play for your wife. All right, Mike, if you say so. Yeah, ruthlessly competitive. And part of me is like, I guess I like the concept of a nice guy winning,

which happens too, but no one's been as good as Jordan. So I guess that's how you get that good. I heard Tom Brady, he does these talks now or speeches or whatever and engagements and he was talking about some he's like I always tried to butter up the linemen you know like like after a play he's like this one guy's hit me twice hit me twice right as I'm releasing hurt me every time wouldn't let him know he's hurt me I pop right back up I say hey man slapped him on the butt. Stay out of my backfield, big man. He looked at me. I'm not your fucking friend. I was like, okay. That's fair. That's fair. He always said he tried to like butter them up so they wouldn't

be like murdering him. Maybe like, ah, good hit. Like slap him on the ass. Like, like, be nice to me, please. Yeah, I saw a rich Franklin, the UFC fighter. He did a nice Ted talk and uh he was talking about like dealing with loss and dealing with adversity and uh he's like

huh with this one guy, we knew the one position we didn't want to be in was on my back with him on top. So I'm on my back with him on top. He was a really good story. Tell. He used to be a school teacher and he nails it. Nice. That's cool.

Well, let's wrap up. I'm going to dinner, watch the debates, which is my version of like, I don't know, Super Bowl looking forward to it. That's your age of mythology. I hope you have a wonderful time. Hope it's everything you hope for and more. All right. PKN 525.