Painkiller Already - PKN 532

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

PKN 432 sup boys. How's it going? How's it going? Going solid. You've got a huge horror movie kick. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's spooky season. So it's been all horror movies all month, really. I'm watching a bunch of cool stuff. And you made I could not get over our discussion yesterday about the charcuterie boards and the cheeses and the meats. And I'm convinced that you are trolling Chiz and I for a lot of it because I have too much respect for you as a man to think my friend Kyle, you could blindfold him and give him prosciutto and then like Domino's pepperoni and he would go same thing to me.

They're so similar that it's not even worth bothering with. So when I do charcuterie, I just don't care about the meat part. That's so much of it. It'll be like, oh, this is capicolo and this is a semi solo and this is, and it's all looks exactly the same. So prosciutto, capicola, prosciutto,

you get all the delicious cheeses. It's all fatty pork sliced extra thin and it's greasy and it tastes salty and sometimes spicy and that's about all the variety there is however with cheeses you can have these soft fruity cheeses and these pungent stinky ones and sour and tart and and like strong and unend anyone question which cheese is fruity I get a lot of cheese with fruit in them so like a lot of goat cheese with blueberry or cheddars with like cranberry in them and stuff of cheese with fruit in them. So like a lot of goat cheese with blueberry or cheddars with like cranberry

in them and stuff. Um, goat cheese with blueberries actually like kind of between a dessert and a, I don't know, an appetizer. You have my attention. This doesn't fit my diet, but I'm interested. It's good. It's fucking, and, uh, I got some, I got some, I got some dates. I got some, uh, some of those. some dates. I got some, some of those.

But you're talking about the cheese thing. And I can't get off the point that you insisted to Chiz and I yesterday that mozzarella and Swiss, same thing. Couldn't tell the difference. Couldn't tell the difference. No, it was the same thing. Wildly, I just, I need to answer that so that we could,

the audience can get a feeling for how retarded your palette is. Kyle lost me with that. Mozzarella and Swiss are very different. It's so different. Yeah. They're just so mild that it's like, oh yeah, milky. No, no. A little salt there. Swiss is often sharp. It has a bit.

Never had a sharp Swiss. It's always. It has more of a tang. It's not pepper jack, but like Swiss has got a little kickback at it. I've never been able to tell that Swiss is on a sandwich. And mozzarella, that's a smooth cheese. For me, mozzarella is an omelet cheese. That's where I think it thrives. Yeah.

Mozzarella rocks. Swiss is great too, but- No idea what it tastes like. All day, every day, they could put me in a bunker under Area 51. And for the next hundred years, artificially increase my lifespan and give me a B tests on so Prasetta versus pepperoni versus capicola and then Swiss versus mozzarella. And 80 years from now I'll be undefeated because it would be second nature. There's no world that you give me a piece of Swiss cheese and I go,

Hmm, this tastes like pizza. Cause I'm not a retard. It tastes the same. I don't know what your scenario, you become like the world's greatest subject matter expert on taste testing cheeses and then say you're good at it. I mean, I'd be good at it in that scenario. I'm convoluted. That's what they're using the lifespan tech. It's like a football player sacrificing your body on the gridiron. We don't all have that gum. I'm going to tell you right now, I mozzarella and Swiss bottom tier cheeses.

I wouldn't, I don't want them in. I don't buy them. I don't even buy them. I have no use for them. I'll put mozzarella on like lasagna or spaghetti on top because it melts so well and it's like, it's supposed to go there. But cheddar, I gotta know if not, probably pepper Jack. I like any kind of cheddar or jack cheese where they put spicy peppers in there,

like like hatch peppers. I like Gouda a lot like a smoked Gouda. I like pungent, strong tasting cheeses. Anything with peppers in it for an omelet. I like mozzarella. But if I want a little kick in it, add salsa. That's like a like bruschetta, like bruschetta with like burrata cheese on it. Like you'll see it.

But burrata is just mozzarella, but it costs more. Yeah, it's burrata is very similar to mozzarella. But like you don't you don't enjoy that, like that that Cristini or whatever. And then the taste in me like is nice in the same way that I suppose Like you don't enjoy that, like that that Cristini or whatever. And then it tastes me like is nice in the same way that I suppose I would enjoy a glass of milk, but I wouldn't pour myself one. OK, so what was the standard bite of your charcuterie last night? Give me the combo. What type of cheese, what type of meat, what type of cracker?

I had some roasted garlic triscuits and I put blue cheese on there and like a little bit of spicy pepperoni. That's that's what I like. I like spicy meat. That sucks. And I love the blue cheese. Like I really like stinky, gross, nasty looking, stinky blue cheese with and nobody else will fuck with greasy pepperoni. You complained about the meats being greasy pepperoni. I'm not complaining. I'm describing that. Well, it's just that there are no really isn't greasy if you have a good. OK, compared to pepperoni. OK, let's let's let's wipe them all on a piece of paper and test.

They're all greasy pork meats that have been preserved. They're the same thing. There's a little more spice. This is me lecturing you on guns. That's what this is. I mean, it's not like we're declaring. It's not like. You are so far out of your depth, you don't even know.

So many guns are the same thing. Okay, I'm glad you brought it. So many guns are the same thing. Look at my AR-15. Yeah, just like the other 10 million. They're all the fucking same. You know one thing I've always appreciated about Kyle? They'll like hand him a gun like the other 10 million. They're all the fucking same. I don't care if you got a needle coating. They'll like hand them a gun and it shoots

two, two, three, five, five, six, call it what you will. And they're like, you want to try this one? And you're like, no, not really. Like I've tried that gun or so many identical to it or effectively identical to it. Is there real big difference between AR-15 and M4? I couldn't tell you which is which. Not in the shooting part of it. Like there real big difference between AR 15 and M4? I couldn't tell you which is which. Not the shooting part of it. Like there's so many times people would, I'd rather you offer me a drink I've never had than a gun I've never shot. Jesus fucking Christ. You want to shoot mine? Oh, is it like a Transformers gun out

of out of a video game? No, then probably not. Probably not. What were you intrigued by? Probably something that... Like, was it like a new caliber you hadn't chopped unique operating mechanisms unique operating mechanisms really big electronic integration Halaco I Remember that catching your fans. Yeah. Well, I caught my fat passion because I had one, you know

It was like my machine gun, but that the Calico machine gun is I think it's 9 millimeter and it's got this cylindrical Drum magazine that fits under the barrel in this very weird way Calico machine gun is, I think it's nine millimeter and it's got this cylindrical drum magazine that fits under the barrel in this very weird way. It's kind of like a spiral staircase. They used them as props in total recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger. So I liked it because of that. And you can buy them for like $400

and then make them fully automatic for your time. So that was kind of neat. Now it was legal for you because you had special licensing. Yeah, you get a license. Yeah. Yeah. No, I I like something that feels different in your hands to like so many. Yeah, like that thing's not mine.

They come with a stock to it's a weird wiry stock that. Yeah, exactly. So that's the magazine on top on top. And they're loaded in a spiral. If Kyle, am I right around that? Like a spiral staircase. Yeah, I I right? Around that magazine? It's like a spiral staircase. Yeah, I was gonna use that same term. And as you push them down, they just go deeper.

Yeah, you can kind of see through that one. Yeah. And Kyle let me use this. It was really neat to me. I had never seen anything like it, but I'm 1% of what Kyle is in the gun world. And even I get bored of like more, more five, five, six guns. Was that a gun to shoot or was it like a fun novelty of like looking at

a whole lot of mech? But if you were going out having fun, like with shooting a target being the thing, you would never bring that. It depends on the target, right? Like if we're shooting watermelons that we just stacked up over there for shits and giggles, like that gun would be perfect for that. Like like just something to be silly and shoot. But, you know, if we're're gonna sit down at a bench rest

and shoot long range targets, or if we're gonna shoot moving targets on balloons or skeet or something, it's a different tool for every job. But that's just a neat looking gun because it's unique and no one else has one. Yeah. I think I'd enjoy that long range bench rest stuff if it were convenient to me.

Anytime anyone wants to go shooting shooting and it's been a while since I've had that offer, but it's like, Oh yeah, it's a 45 minute drive from here. You pack all your guns up into the put them in boxes, put the frame, carry the box. And it's like, you know what? The hour and 20 minutes on either side of shooting day ruins the experience for me.

Yeah. Yeah. We have more time in transit than you are having fun. It's a bad trade off. We had a bench rest on our back porch. And then so we, and we go down in that Valley where we all filmed that if we were doing like real bench rest, bench rest shooting and do, we did 100 meter

and 300 meter like competitive bench rest shooting, mostly 22 caliber, like, like small caliber rifles, 22,.250s,.222s, stuff like that. Does that even go three? I mean, it sure goes three. Oh yeah, it goes three. Can you shoot accurately? Like more accurately than you can imagine, yeah. A.22?

Yeah, well it's a.22, just like the AR-15 is a.223. These are.22 caliber bullets with a lot more pop behind them. So like a- Isn't my regular.22 that we're talking about. No, this is a.22-250 or a.222. These are Remington 40XB bull barrel, like bench rest rifles,

but there's no kick and they're very quiet. So you can sit there all day and they're cheap to reload. It's like everything about them makes it so that you can- I didn't know.22 two, two is a caliber. Maybe it is. It's a very small bullet goes real fast. It's great for a hundred meter, 150 meters, stuff like that. What's the littlest caliber of real bullets?

I know at the store I've seen something like, that's like 0.17 hornet. Yeah, it's like a. Something, it's not a cap, like it's a bullet. So, then it becomes that question of production models, right? Things that you can go buy in a store, things that Remington actually makes. And then you probably get down to like the 17 HMR. And I'm sure there's something smaller, some boutique type thing. But if you go beyond that to people who make their own stuff, I went up on this mountain in West

Virginia one time to a guy who wrote a lot of the reloading manuals for Hornady and Some other companies and he makes his own bullets from start and his own rifles from start It's cool and he had this plaque of calibers and like some of the bullets are itty-titty bitty like Closer to a pellet than you would think to a rifle munition So little bitty is he doing that just like? Kind of almost for the sake of it just to make new things or is there a purpose for a bullet that small? That guy, I think that guy's job was creating calibers for firearms companies that would fill niches and writing reloading data

books for a long time. So he's just a wealthy retired guy on a mountain. Now I went, I went because he had something I wanted to borrow. What would you like? What are those teeny little bullets actually for? Like, why is like a 17 Hornady or whatever you said better than just a 22? Well, in the end, they're not because of cost. Like almost all of those special special calibers like I think of like the 4.6 Caliber bullet the mp7 shoots for the average person It's it's not worth doing because you got to pay for your own ammunition. It's really expensive per shot So like 22 long rifle

It might not be as fast or it might not be as is like uh, explosive on the target But it's probably a ton cheaper than something like 22 magnums a thing. They make a 22 magnum that looks just like a 22 long rifle, but it's longer. It's maybe a quarter longer in the back end, but those were really expensive to shoot. It's like, why would I spend three times as much for like 15% more performance when what I'm doing, it doesn't matter. You know, we're not racing anybody. We're not, it's like my rap blew up better than yours. You lose, you know,

that's not happening. So it's like, you can really shoot the Coons eating out of your trash any better. But a lot of those small calibers, they go really fast. You're really hot. They make stuff explode. I know people near my grandpa who shoot raccoons. Yeah. It's a big deal. They're a big nuisance. Yeah, there's a ton of them. Coon hunting is a big part of Southern culture

and it's its own sport, almost its own kind of hunting in the way that fishing is a separate outdoor activity to hunting. Coon hunting is almost a separate outdoor activity to hunting. I've never gone myself. You've got specialized dogs. You've got like, it's kind of like a snipe hunt where you catch something So there's lots of running through the night and the dogs are all are chasing and the idea that most people what you want to Accomplish is to tree the coon with the dogs

At the base of the tree and then shoot him in a way that you wound him so that he falls out of the tree And has to fight the dogs. Oh, I had a friend who was into that. But before I really knew him, I thought he was super racist because I only knew him online and his handle was Coon Hunter. Now, I'm not really familiar with this as an off-roading friend from like 15 years ago. And I'm like, Coon Hunter, you can't say that. I didn't say anything. I just get my thoughts to myself. And then I met him. His whole life revolved around Coon Hunter. His croc had a cage in the bed.

Like he was a trainer of these dogs. It was like his side business. His main business was really, he was an army guy. But yeah, he was he was big on on coon hunting and it was his identity. And when I saw his online handle, I was like, you can't, you can't hunt them anymore. So that's, I saw for the broom. Then, you know, in that guy's head, not once did he ever think about it. He's like coon hunter. I literally hunt coons. How could it be confusing at all? Like it's literally like a Michael Scott's username. He's like, all right, it's literally like a Michael Scott's username.

He's like, all right, I want to have a lot of kids, big family. What's a good username? Little kid lover. I love kids. Look at this. That's so funny. I don't, I've heard my grandpa talk about coon hunting,

but he never included the part at the end about intentionally wounding it so the dogs can kill it. Yeah. That might have been a little regional culture. Well, I don't know if everybody does that. I know everybody doesn't do that actually, but I've heard that it is a big part of the fun is that you get them down to make so the dogs can fight them. They've been chasing them all night. Let them have it. They're going to ruin the pelt though.

And the pelt for your hat? What are you doing, David Crockett? Yeah, a cool skin hat. I had one of those that I would wear in the world. We all did. It's a little kid. Yeah, we all did. See, see. And you know, we don't see too many coons anymore. You didn't have one, Woody. I was from New Jersey. Oh yeah.

What'd you have like a Johnny Appleseed tin or something? Like there has to be something regional. I mean, we had that coons can play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends. I had a I had my father's accounting filo folder things that like these expanded according with all my, you know, with all my Dungeons and Dragons. He gave it to me. I'm like, you grabbed his gun or something. Actually growing up where you did with the ocean nearby, like that, I know,

I know that was your main outdoor activity. It was like ocean related. Once I turned 12. Yeah. Were there big enough woods where you were at that you could just go like fuck around in the woods. So in ocean city, when I moved from a place called Morse town in South Jersey to ocean city when I was 12. So up until 12, yeah, there were woods. We called them the woods. And there were two houses over and I spent a lot of time in the woods, like just starting fires,

playing war, stuff like that. And then at 12, when we moved to the Ocean City, I got into surfing and that became like my identity and my friend group and stuff. I have so many fun memories of like young childhood, of just like fucking around in the woods with friends, like building dams, like trying to dam up creeks and it never going like that well. Like, and then eventually when you would work hard enough to make it work well, it'd be like, all right, well,

this is almost like a problem now. Like, I don't think we're supposed to be damming this, this waterway. I had a different experience, because maybe I would have had a better personality if it had gone your way. But instead my dad would be like, you know what you need is a John Deere and some two-by-fours. A few boulders and some sack creek would do the trick, eh? And by the time it was over, dad's helping me build build a dam and we built a dam and now we're like,

well, now we have a dam, look at that. Now we have a dam. Unfortunately, Kyle, that water is needed in that pasture, so we're gonna have to knock it down. No, we just dammed it up and like made a spillover type dam so that you could drive over it, but it's always got a skim of water coming over the top. Oh.

No, we were making au natural dams with rocks and sticks and mud. My dams, who is this incompetent beaver that did this? That's what people were saying. Yeah, I'd like look at the dam afterward and it'd be like, man, I feel like I've been putting rocks in this area forever, but all it's done is now the water's

like moving faster over the top. It's like, all right, I need to. I think you had a bigger creek than I did. Mine was pretty small. I think you could lay on it and increase the volume on the lake side of the dam. Oh, okay. This one, like the one I'm thinking of at least

was like after it rains, like it was up to your knees. If you like went into the middle area. Mine was ankle deep. But when you dam it, you can get it up to your knees. Yeah. Man, that was so fun. You think that, that like, what would happen? Like, cause I live in a very wooded area at the age of 33.

If I just like wandered out into the woods and started making a dam, like would someone call the police? I'm of your life. At this point, you're like, I'm a new man. These rocks I previously couldn't place. Oh man, that'd be great. Red Bulls out there. Okay. It was innocent rematch time. What's this guy doing?

So they do an enormous amount of property damage flooding basements or something create a wetland. I go to jail maybe lately. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I thought about doing? I thought about just driving over to Nellie's old house just to just to poke around. So there's no really hard wrapper. Yeah. This is like a year.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When Kyle was looking for potentially buying a new house, I'm like, hey, we wanted Nellie's old house is on the market for like it's like a giant like mansion, but it's for like 700 grand because it's so destroyed and dilapidated. Yeah. I told Taylor we were both, we were both single at the time. And, uh, and I was like, dude, we go 50 50 on Nellie's mansion. Look at this. And it's like rundown, but it's like it must have cost 10 million to make or something You know, it's crazy And it's like the inside is just as ridiculous and it's 600 grand and it's like alright

What if we made like a YouTube channel devoted to fixing Nellie's mansion? Like that would pay that would help pay for fixing Nellie's mansion to some extent and then at the end of the day We live in Nellie's mansion. We're fixing Nellie's mansion to some extent. And then at the end of the day, we live in Nellie's mansion. We're always. But this doesn't look too bad. I know it. See, that's where I was. I'm like, like maybe the walls are rotted out. Maybe the plumbing needs to be.

There might be 100000 in plumbing that needs to be replaced. But but still look, you know, like nice as hell. It's like it's fair that mark. We could tear that marble up and sell it and then put carpets down and make a bundle. Trust me, Taylor. What is that last picture? That looks like a Tuscan style home. Is that a pool?

What am I looking at? I need to make my screen. I think that's like a lowered living area. They used to do that in the seventies. They should bring that back. A little like conversation pit. Yeah. It was another page.

Oh, honestly, if I'm being like, this is not as terrible as I remember it. I mean, it's not great. I mean, come on, dude. What do you mean it's not, look at the location. I don't know about you, but to me, that's like ideal as far as. Oh yeah. Yeah. And he's right next to hidden Valley, our little bullshit ski.

They do not need flood insurance at that place. Good. It's on top of a mountain. No, you do not. And you've got the, you've got the tippy top of the mountain. There's some other jackass down the hill from you see him. Wishes he lived in Nellie's house. And guess what you don't worry about in about in those hills? Tornadoes. Doesn't bother you if you're in hills. I bet you got to worry about the rats in that mansion though.

No, it's like flat areas that get fucked. Forest and hills. Like if you live. Bears don't run downhill and tornadoes won't go uphill. Is the bear thing reliably true? It can't be. I mean, I just made it up. How could it not be? Oh, man, that was a that was a really good lie.

No, it's not even a lie. I think it's a saying. I think it's like a wives tale that bears can't run downhill. Oh, okay. I'm pretty sure it is. I think bulls don't run downhill very well. Well, I definitely heard it.

I don't know if it's true. Just as fast downhill as they do up. Frankly, frankly, probably quite a bit faster. I run faster downhill until I fall. Falling after you like that's scarier than him doing a controlled run. What's the last time you guys ran full speed? Oh, a few years. Like, see, I use machines for exercise.

Yeah, I guess I use machines for exercise. Yeah, I guess I run in the yard with the dogs every now and then. Like, like, like a couple of times a month, I probably like go full out and fuck around with Toby, like chasing balls. But as far as like a main, I know what you're asking. It's like like like the 100 yard dash style, like go and get after it. It's been a long time, probably, because all my working out is machines. I, I have this in my head and it's impacted my impression of

who I am. But when we first moved to this house, that was like eight years ago, I got my kids a go kart with a roll cage. Well, they rolled it. And now they're stuck upside down in this go kart. So I start running, running as fast as I can, which is probably like two thirds of the speed of a normal human. And at one point, like, I don't know, the ground wasn't perfectly flat.

I start falling forward. So I need to run faster to get my feet back under me. That's not there. That's really doesn't exist in me. So I start, I'm like, I'm slowly just like, and I'm like, I gotta commit. So I commit to the somersault. I get up and I start running again. And that's basically the story. But I was like, I don't know how to run fast anymore.

I just imagine Jackie watching out the window. She's like, did you do a cartwheel in the middle of the rescue? kind of badass myself in the moment a little gymnastic y'all sweaty even grass on your forehead Doing that thing where you're like really out of breath, but you don't want to admit you're how out of breath you are you like you don't want to admit how out of breath you are. You're like, yeah, trying to breathe too heavy. Yeah. I haven't sprinted in an all out sprint in years and years, even when I run on my treadmill or like do or like play tennis or pickleball or something like that. Like you're not getting going quick. Treadmill can be deceiving. Like you can hold the railings

and not fall or add a little extra speed just by lightening yourself up a bit. Yeah, it's a different thing. A little tricky. You can be like, Oh, I'm gonna make sure it's 100% flat. No incline at all. It's like, all right, that's not totally a real world running scenario. Usually it's a little more difficult. Running sucks and I'm never gonna do it again until until I'm made to do it. So then let's chase. I'll never run. I'll never run.

Like like you refuse to run. Jerry, I refuse to run. I refuse to run. The elliptical is infinitely better. I feel better doing it. I can just, you know, I got a TV screen on my goddamn elliptical. You know, it's in an air conditioned room. Why would I go outside in the world and feel weird if I do way too much elliptical?

I don't get that when I'm running. I don't get that from lunges. Like your stride with belly dancing. I don't think that'll do it too. I think maybe my natural stride isn't lining up with it as well as it should. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to get one that's got the adjustable stride thing so you can set it to yourself.

You know, before I do that, I should check if the one I have has that option. There are two things that I'm competent at, rowing a boat and swimming, the two of the things I'm competent at. And like you'd be surprised at how swimming takes a lot less energy when your technique is on point

and you've got your breath control down and everything's easy. I think running is that. I bet a person who knows how to run would look at me and be like, no wonder you suck. What are you doing? Like, yeah, your knees are too high. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Your arms are pumping. I can tell we're birds of a feather running wise in that like we're hippie. We're slapping the ground with those feet. It's just that ground understands that I'm angry with it. Dude, if I try and run on my, I'll see someone athletic running on their toes.

I'll like next time I'm running, I'll run on my toes and I'll like in my head be like, who do you think you are? Running on your toes, like you're going so speedy. You know, technique is an issue here. Is that what you're supposed to do? Like do real runners, they don't go heel toe? In like sprints, you're supposed to go more off your toes. Okay.

Or at least early on. I see, I see those NFL guys and those sprinters doing the up and down on their toes. And that's what I'm learning from. Well, Kyle. I don't know how to fucking run. I'm just judging everything you say harshly. That's all. At the end of the day, we're just three guys in our late 20s. Don't know how to run.

Just a couple of 90s kids. Yeah. I mean, I... I was a kid in the 90s. Ninety one. That's so like weird when you see stuff online from like when you're on Twitter or Facebook or whatever social media like there's like 15 year olds posting on there like kids born in 2010. Isn't that fucking weird? Yeah. Like, like never before in like Weird that they turned 15 or any historical time. Did you have access to like 15 year

old retarded thoughts being put on your algorithm or your platform? Like it's, it's bizarre. It's why it's like, like I read a lot of Reddit comments, like, like if I'm interested in something, whether it's a mixed martial arts fight Or it's I don't know a new GPU or something I I look to reddit comments for for expertise and you often will find there's some experts saying In there, but at the same time on opinion based stuff There are children mixed in there There are 12 year old children in there whose opinion somehow gets as many upvotes as like a 50 year old dude who knows what he's talking about. And you just got to take everything with a grain of salt on the internet and keep that in mind.

that I sometimes watch. They have a Republican tilt, but it's like a sneaky one. And this guy was posting in the Reddit comment section as if he was a Democrat and how Harris lost in this election cycle. But you go through his comment history and he is clearly absolutely not a Democrat. He is full blown MAGA. And I'm like, people are just

like making up alternative identities in an effort to be more persuasive on Reddit. Oh yeah. Of course. You see that on Facebook and Twitter where someone will be like. As a black man. As a black man who's voted Democrat

in the last 28 elections, I'm 170 years old. To the other party for the first time ever. And then on the other side where it's like, you know. You're allowed to vote in most of those. That's a voter fraud. Donald Trump has lost me. And it's like, you can just look at the person's account and it's like, this is a picture of you and Nancy Pelosi.

You're gonna be sneaky, like take that down. Did you guys see that Tony hit, or you were about to bring that up, weren't you? I was gonna talk about the ballot boxes being burned, but yeah, Tony was the opening act act at Madison Square Garden Trump rally, which by the way packed like like packed in a kind of way that is it is it looks and Tony goes off and one of his jokes you want to tell it you want me to because it's great You guys hear about that a big floating trash pile out in the ocean?

It's terrible. It's terrible. They call Puerto Rico, right? And it's and the crowd goes, oh, and he goes, oh, OK. That one didn't work. All right. We'll move along. We'll move along. It's been the dominant like topic of the current news cycle, at least in my little universe. Yeah, they're clutching.

That's not a good idea. The last thing they wanna go into the election with is more pearl clutching over jokes. That doesn't play. I see your point. And so my knee-jerk reaction was like, that's a bad joke. And so was the people at the MAGA rally. Their knee-jerk reaction was like,

this is not an acceptable joke. So I'm not alone in that. Pretty much everyone agrees that it went over the line and for that environment. The guy's a roast comic, you know? Yeah, that's what he does. He's got tons of jokes just like that. That's who he is.

No matter what, even if he was doing this at the DNC or whatever, I'm always gonna come down on the side of like, the comedian should be able to say whatever they want. Like if you think it's a bad tactical move to put them up there, I'll listen to your thought process, all that, but at the end of the day, it's like, yeah.

That's where I'm coming from. I think that having a guy hate on Puerto Ricans at your rally is a bad tactical move. Maybe, it seems like they't really want right now. They do get to vote their citizens and Pennsylvania has like the largest Puerto Rican population in the country. Well, it didn't affect the polls today,

luckily, because Puerto Ricans can't vote. I think he's not true. They're literally English. Woody, Woody, I think I know what a Puerto Rican is. They're from that Spanish island country. Yes. All right. I get that there are Puerto Ricans who live here in the U.S. who maybe want to become an American. But Puerto Rican flies into Chicago. They better be. You know how the Asians have their like racist stack ranking of one another where like the Japanese and the Chinese like They both yeah

But if you talk to a Japanese person and was like hey stack rank the Asians They would even they'd put the Chinese like over the Philippines like cuz they're all they all kind of bullied They'd all have the Koreans near what's the thing the Koreans are kind of respected up there What's the what's the equivalent in the South American world? Because I don't know what their stack ranking is like like do people from Venezuela see Honduras is like fucking shit. Yeah like yeah, I think I think Venezuela used to be super prosperous until I Don't know. I don't know the economics of it I tried to understand it the other nationalized their oil production and then we shut that down because we- George Bush had, yeah, George Bush had all that beef

with their El Presidente and their countries had that hyperinflation thing. But yeah, I would imagine that's true that the Venezuelans would look down on the Hondurans. Frankly, everyone does. They're incredibly short people. The Hondurans are- Yeah, yeah.

I think the whole continent is pretty short. No, my father's Honduran. He probably just made that up on the spot. No, my grandpa's Honduran. He's a little fellow. Yeah more No, I know they're they're Americans and everything but I just don't think that this Puerto Rico ever go It doesn't matter how many if they go red blue, right? There's the the territory doesn't get electoral votes.

You're talking about the Puerto Ricans dispersed? Yeah, but the Puerto Ricans that live in Pennsylvania Damn immigration. continue to identify that way strongly and there's a lot of them. How many people live in Puerto Rico? How many? Is it like millions? I think so.

I'll Google it real quick. Why do we have Puerto Rico? Like what the hell is going on? Why do we have that? Like what's the history? About three million. Okay so like a size of like a mid-sized city metro pretty big though. I don't care about the Puerto Ricans. I don't think anybody's gonna care about the joke either. I don't think it's gonna change anybody's vote at this late juncture I did look at 538 and real clear politics more than started ago and And trumps lies in a metro. I mean, yeah, if you look at city proper everything gets much smaller

Trump's leading like everywhere like almost every single poll almost every single state You know, you have to really be looking for the outliers to be like look look Harris is doing really well in this state and this poll. It's like, yeah, let's hope that's the one right. Yeah. I mean, just looking at it, he seems to, it's, it's been on like a pretty consistent month long tear now where he's been, been going up in the probability and whatnot. The betting markets are ridiculous. Now I don't bet online or anything, but I have a couple of friends who like really love sports betting and all that. And so they, I don't bet online or anything, but I have a couple friends who like really love sports betting and all that. And so they, I don't even know if they've been

on, of course they have their they love betting. They like send me screenshots of the poly market or like the dip because that's only one of them. There's like, Keshi or some other, like multiple big betting markets. And he's up like in a retarded way. They're like 65 percent or 35 percent. And that's I remember there were rumblings about him losing Texas potentially. And Georgia was almost a lock for the Dems, you know, a month ago. And then now it's like, no, no, not at all. And then like all the swing states, except for.

Michigan or Wisconsin, Wisconsin. He's fine. Oh, Minnesota. One of the Ms he's got smells is from Minnesota. So they're like, I would have if they lose Minnesota, it's it's been over for a long time. I look at a little differently. Like when Kamala was up this I look at 538. They said you run they do this election 100 times she wins 54 he wins 46. And everyone was like, it is razor close.

This is an incredibly close election. It might look like she's up, but statistically that means nothing for points. Now Trump has the inverse of that. He's the one with 54 and everyone's, I just don't think it's a done deal yet. It's far from it. Oh, I don't either. Oh, I don't think it's not done deal. It looks better for him than it ever had. I was seeing a comparison of his leads versus this day in history four years ago, eight years ago, whatever. He has never had as big a lead in the swing state rust belts that he has in any previous

election that he has right now. Yeah, scroll down to more I I wanna see the horizontal line chart. It might be the next one. Zach's so racist, he won't use dark mode. Oh, that's the one. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, so that's how it is. And if you go back a month,

like say the beginning of October, no one thought it was a slam dunk for Harris. I'd rather be ahead than behind is what I said, but I didn't think I was scared. Now it's the same thing. I wish I was ahead than behind is what I said, but I didn't think it was scared. Now it's the same thing. I wish I was ahead instead of behind, but this isn't a slam dunk. This is incredibly close. I just don't, I don't, I'm sure it's done well, but I don't know how this data right here, like this particular graph is achieved.

I guess it's some sort of average of all the polls from all the swing states and then weighting incorrectly? It's just it's the a poll of polls you could say and then they have this um weighting because they think some polls are more accurate than other polls and um that's how they do it. Do they like have a like a relegation system with the polls where like they look at whatever the most recent election was and then depending on how close they were, they weighed it differently. I don't know how they rate their polls, but they do weight them. Like you said, based on how good they think they are, which I, if you're a suspicious person, you might say like, Oh, they're doing that to get the result they want, but you also have to do that to get a good result because some polls

are not as good as others. Yeah. I think the most accurate ones from 20 and 22 were something called like Ipsol or Ipsum and then Rasmussen. Rasmussen? Rasmussen? That one typically leans Republican, but the polls of undercounted Trump. Who got closest.

I don't know they're leaning. The polls of undercounted Trump for the last two presidential election cycles. Now they undercounted the Democrats in the last one, the midterm, but Trump wasn't running in that. So is that even indicative of what's going on? I don't know. No poll has ever undercounted the same party three times in a row because polls are tricky.

I love this stuff. You can't just interview a thousand people and show the results because what can happen is the amount of people that reply can be like tilted or wrong, not representative in some way. And it's like, all right, we interviewed a thousand people but it turns out 65% of them are Republicans. So we need to sort of massage this data,

normalize it and make it more accurate. And that is the part where people can get it right or wrong. They do their best to get it right. They're in the business of getting this right. So after 2016, what happened was they undercounted a group of people that famously don't vote reliably. And this is like working class white guys, they sort of union workers with their

big bellies and others. And, uh, but those guys came out for Trump. They were newly motivated in a way they weren't before. So in 2020 they got closer, but they still under counted it to some extent. So now the question is, are they under counting this a third time? Are they over counting it? Um, we'll see. Yeah.

Wow. They're probably, probably going to under count it again. If you're using 2022 as the anchor point most recently, because you're, you're a hundred percent right. Trump not being present there isn't like a lot of those people were going for him and like the Republicans that got votes that day were just blessed by Trump being on the ticket also. And then when he wasn't there, a lot of them were like, fuck this. Like, I'm not gonna go, I'm gonna watch sports

or whatever. Do these guys do 538? How good are they at sports? Like, oh, they're really good. So back when Nate Silver ran, I don't know about now Disney bought 538. So what do you make it in? But back Nate Silver used to do some really cool sports like statistical analysis and he would make predictions and it was pretty neat to see like, he would tell you which players are gonna be good next year based on say traditional aging patterns at that position

and stuff like that. Like no one else crunched the sports data as much as he moneyballed it. Interesting. Yeah, I would be fascinated to learn about someone sports data as much as he moneyballed it. Interesting. Yeah. I would be fascinated to learn about someone who could make a model that like consistently won with sports betting. Cause it seems so difficult.

There's so many human factors constantly between the players, the refs, the environment, the arena, whether the person had, you know, grilled chicken and broccoli or lasagna the night before, like so much of it is difficult. You just know, the sport matters to a new max Holloway was going to lose that fight. Easier ones, because it's just two guys.

I think fighting might be one of the easier ones. I think hockey is one of the harder ones that has more upsets than a lot of parts. I like that. Yeah, there's a lot of puck locks. So much of hockey almost like you do things that would lead to a goal, but don't always lead it. Like, I'm just going to shoot it in the direction of the goal where the goalie kind of isn't right now and hope for the best. Oh, yeah. That's half of hockey goals. That's like, people have made their whole career. Joe Pavelski has been in the league for like 25 years. Almost every goal he's ever, I don't think he's ever had a highlight goal in his career. It's just him like shoving people

and bullying people in front of the net, trying to cause problems and then like barely knocking it in with a stick. That's how he's got like 600 goals in the league, just doing that. And that same sort of thing can happen from like the slot too. Is the slot right? Sort of internal like between the face-off.

Yeah. And you know, people just banging on net from there roughly. And sometimes it takes deflected. Sometimes it goes in sometimes, you know, the rebound goes in. And other sports are just so much more calculated than that basketball. It seems like everything is a set play at this point. Hockey, it starts as a set play and then evolves into player instincts. Yeah, exactly. In hockey you have like a, all right, our play is like going to get us to 30 seconds from now and then we're wheeling and dealing, boys. Like, here's the cycle and figure it out. A flying V. I would love to see a flying V just get

I would love to see this line be just get hammered by another NHL team. And like these idiots, they're all out of position. 100% of them are out of position. Yeah. Well, Mizzou's season is over, Kyle. So I'm going to be Team Georgia, I guess. Welcome aboard. Welcome aboard. Plenty of room.

Yeah. Can I come on? I want to play. We're fighting for a winning record I think there's no fun this year Yeah, I Think I think it's clean a pretty clear sailing for Georgia and playoffs and then I don't know if they do a bye But they probably do and George are gonna buy so it'll be You know, didn't they beat Texas by a ton or my misremembering they beat Texas 30 to 15 didn't they beat Texas by a ton or my misremembering?

They beat Texas 30 to 15. Um, and that's catapulted them into second and the polls and it's a close second to Oregon. Like they've, they're getting a lot of the votes too, I think. For first. So all good. It doesn't really matter anymore. The way in the BCS, it was so important to be first or second and even even third is just garbage. But now it's like we're in the top 12. Who cares? So we're good.

Yeah. You could almost do what other sports do. And like, if, if you, it's like a bullshit game, the last couple, and you know, you're in, it's like, eh, you know, this, you know, this guy rest up. If there's a buy, I can't imagine resting starters, but Taylor brings up an interesting idea, like in college football, you could never rest starters. Like, I mean, if you're, if it's a blowout, but you wouldn't start a game with your second string, but now.

Yeah. Now if they know like, Hey, even a loss today, isn't going to push us out of playoff contention and once we're there, we're on the same level as everyone else. The thing I like though about him is like Kirby smart. The coach has like a real shit heel attitude. So like he shows up this press conferences, late, like that's just not his style. He's like, we came to eat, we hungry and we came to eat. Fuck.

Yeah, that's hardcore shit. What else coach? Nobody believed it's like you had 99% of the polls coach. We don't let them look at the polls. 99% of the polls coach. We don't let them look at the polls. Just give them a race car and let them hit the road. I love the idea that he acts like he's the underdog all the time.

He manufactures it. No one thought we could beat fucking whatever, uh, BYU, but I told our players to believe we could believe it's difficult when you have an entire team that knows that next year they're going to be the starting 11 for the saints. I like paying this one journalist to write a bad article. Say, Hey, say Briars can't catch. Yeah. Yeah. Say he's calling fumble fingers or some shit. Yeah. It'll be good. That's right. Right. Right. And then he's in the locker room. Look at this shit. It's getting them all fired up because they come out a lot of their phones and they come in said immediately back checking They come out ready to go leaves us. Are there any Georgia traditions that are like like I think it's West Virginia

That has enter Sandman LSU has neck Georgia needs something a little dirty That they have that dog. We got that dog. That's about it. We got the dog. I did see Kirby Smart get onto the fans like it's like three games back. He was like, that's horseshit. It's like it's like when we play a home game, I expect the home field advantage. Our fans should be louder than that. What's wrong with you? What was the situation like?

Were they not playing? They were quiet. No, they were playing fine. The fact that he wants the crowd so loud that the opposition can't hear the audibles. So I like it. I'm with him. Yeah. Yeah. I've told this story before, but the North Carolina rarely gets big snow. And one time we did. And it might have been the UNC Duke game, but it was definitely USC like UNC someone people cared about.

A game that would normally be packed, we had two feet of snow and no one could get to. So it was filled with students. And the students were so loud, the place was so rockin', the atmosphere was so much better. UNC has a very, like, they're known for their sort of wine and cheese classy alumni. And that's all fine and dandy except at a sports game.

And so the coach, Rory, whatever the fuck his name is, Coach Rory, he changed the student section and made it so that the students sat up front and got louder and it helped. Dude, there should be huge amounts carved out in every one of these college event arenas just for students. Like I have fun memories of going to Mizzou games and being in the student section as a student. And like, it was like so raucous. It was like borderline dangerous.

People were having... Did they allow noisemakers? We would do high school basketball games. We would have bottles with... You were speaking in full bottles of liquor of liquor like you could have got anything. We would we would have bottles with rocks in them so we could like rattle them like rattles. And it doesn't sound loud until you've got like a whole student

section rattling those things. And it's horrific. It's horrible. Oh, it's like they go to shoot their free throws and there'd be like legitimately 60 of us Shaking those things some of my friends. I knew they were gonna do this This like, you know body painting thing where they did like Mizzou Maybe it was M. I see on one side and zeal you on the other. I don't remember maybe the windows off

Yeah, and he basically they asked me and was like, do you want to be part of the Mizzou thing? And I was like, for a November game? No. Like, no, that's ridiculous. You guys are crazy. And they're like, oh, we're going to be so drunk. Who even cares?

And I was like, all right, I'll see you there. Hope you guys have fun. They were freezing. There was no amount you could get. And then like, it's like, you don't look like you're boosting the team up when you're like, it's like either drink more or put a shirt on. You idiot. I mean, those are the same guys we did the, where we did the beard off and then I shaved a Hitler mustache. And I wore that to class. It was a different time politically. This was 2009. Hitler was very in vogue.

Well, things are coming back around. Yeah. Yeah. Well, bluesy. See the ballot boxes getting blown up and burned? I, yeah. They caught a guy too for doing it. He looked like what you think he would look like. Dude, the idea of a bad, like we're the wealthiest, most technologically advanced country in global history. And like part of our voting process is like, yep, there's a series of unguarded boxes and you put it in there and then we'll definitely get to it.

It's like, what the fuck? Like that seems so archaic. Wasn't it not a swing state also? Was it like Washington or something? It was, it was one of the red areas of Washington. Oh, it's mostly a blue stick. It's going to go, but he was a MAGA supporter, right? The guy who blew up the ballot box? No idea. Yeah. Yeah, he was.

And... He had to look about him. You know what? He didn't look like a critical thinker. Look, I'm not gonna argue. I'm not taking that guy's side on this. I was looking for the Try On girl that I found recently. She's got like body paint on, so she's genuinely just naked. She's trying on body paint. Well, she, she cleans,

uh, while in the body paint. So she's, and you can like, she's just naked. It's just a naked woman cleaning and she's got like a fake body. Like she looks like she's got big, fake, crazy titty. You're going to have to find her. I'll go. I'll go back to where you guys see and where they caught the ballot box bomber. I guess I'm giving him a little. There wasn't a bomb, right? It was a fire.

I think I was on Reddit and I saw his like mugshot. He was a older white gentleman, maybe a gray beard balding. He has two hours ago. CNN is reporting that police are searching for the person. There were multiple instances, so possibly.

In Washington, that's such a weird place for this to happen. I guess you get eccentric people, weirdos everywhere. Yeah, crazy people. You won't see me blowing up any ballot boxes. What do you think he's going to accomplish? Like he's Cartman, he's going to change the election? What if he was just like a drunk guy smoking and he's like, I need to put this cigarette out somewhere.

I don't think that's likely. Well he's going to... What would actually be funny? Imagine if you were just hanging out in DC partying the night before and then you fell in with the January 6 crowd. It was like, where are we going? What? You're just a little drunk and hungover. You don't know what's going on. You just end up in the, in the Capitol building. You're just having a good time.

Zach, can you, I gave you the link. Can you scroll down and show that guy with the bad hair? This is, so I don't know if we conflated the different ballot box things. This is the Oregon get ballot box guy. Oh, okay. Oregon and Washington. That's so weird. Yeah, I was thinking of the Washington one. I hadn't heard about this. Just scroll down. He says he's getting to it. Okay. Having ballot boxes at all seems so retarded. Make voting day a national holiday. Everyone gets off work. You vote on the same day you count at the same

day bada bing bada boom get your result by that night like that's there's no excuse for the wealthiest country on earth with the best technology on earth to not do that there's no that's the guy yep that's it that's the one i described as not a critical thinker know, it's funny you say not critical thinker, because- He looks like Plato. Yeah, you just said, you took that guy AI and you were like, make this guy into a marble bust. And you're like, wow,

what are the great thinkers of the world? Have you ever seen the busts of Socrates? And also the busts of Plato and Aristotle? Because Socrates is like noticeably ug busts of Plato and Aristotle because Socrates is like Noticeably uglier than the rest of like that the best they could make that guy. Look was a bit pigish He didn't look his face and pick him out of a lineup But was it you who was telling me they were really fit and sort of felt like the human body should be yeah they were all very fit I I the human body should be. Yeah, they were all very fit. I. I mean, I wonder if how true that was.

They always looked that fit. Did they always look like they were sculpted in marble or was that a little that they had some cheat days? They live in the Mediterranean. Sometimes they're a little hammer and chisel Photoshop. Those pictures, yes. You know, maybe I went a little crazy with the olive oil and balsamic and bread yesterday.

Do you imagine before? Sometimes rich white guys are just jacked. That happens never. These guys were, well, they were also eaten clean. I don't actually know how jacked Socrates was, but like Plato, Aristotle, part of their teachings were like, there was no fat acceptance in ancient Greece. You showed up to your fucking the Plato school of whatever he'd bully you. People accept anyone with money.

Back then they were more interested in like, actually it's the way universities have always worked where like people understood it to be like, this is a place where brilliant minds collect. And now people have this idea. So early least some people do where they're like, we can send retards to historically brilliant institutions. And then they become brilliant. It's like, no, you've got the cart before the horse here. Like Harvard was great because they were self-selecting for like

brilliant people for a long time. If you get rid of the selection bias, like you're not going to turn someone like me going to Harvard into like a world-class attorney. That's ridiculous. I just don't have what it takes to be cut out for that. Sparta and Athens ran over everyone for a reason. No, the ancient Greeks were not fat. Yeah. That's almost giving too much credit to the Greeks, although they deserve a lot of credit for things. I don't think there were a lot of fat people in any culture running around back then. Back when food was hard to come by, they were less fat. Makes sense. Yeah, way less.

I'll line up with that. And even when they were like in Rome, like they didn't have food shortages, I bet there was some bullying. Wouldn't it be like- It would be far better if we just stopped subsidizing corn so much. We wouldn't have all of our corn syrup wouldn't be everywhere.

We wouldn't have corn and the gas. Oh, but what about the strategic industries that we need to keep the keep fired up in case of emergency? You don't you don't want them. You want to shut down the bread basket and outsource it to China. Well, a lot of our just asking questions, Kyle. I'm telling you. No, no.

Yeah. No, you're wrong. It's Taylor who was wrong. Well, subsidies are like good if they subsidize a good thing and they're bad if they subsidize a bad thing. Subsidies as a whole, as a principle, are not good or bad. If you subsidize getting people in shape, that's a good thing. If you subsidize like Woody was saying with the corn, that is a real thing. Like a big reason our FDA for years gave out edicts that were like eight to twelve servings of corn

cereal and bread a day folks a heart healthy like the reason for that was because they needed to sell all this stuff they were subsidizing like you you remove a lot of it. That's like I like the idea of like a jacked 70 year old having at least a little say in some health Edicts as far as RFK. I don't know what that like I don't really know his beliefs other than the health. He believes in TRT. Yeah, if he believes in TRT, he's jacked. He is one of those guys who clearly eats well

and would want to like get poisoned out. Anyone who gets empowered like they should include that. Anything that would get people. Pretty ate it well Kyle higher quality food that'd be good and he could be jacked maybe he could get trump jacked that's not gonna happen there's no way that actually i have i feel like i have a good eye for this trump's been losing weight recently has he and yeah he's not uh nearly as fat as he was a couple years i think his weight goes up and down with just his lifestyle. Like if he's, if you keep him really busy, then he loses weight. If he just sits down next to the pantry for a while, he gains it like everyone else.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that logic, I find eating well on the road is almost impossible. So if I was campaigning, I bet I'd get heavier. I wonder who the next Republican candidate is after, you know, next cycle. Because I said a few years ago that it would be Trump Empire being formed. However, everyone within the Trump family is greatly hated except for his daughter. I feel like she could make a move.

How old is she? She's gotta be close to 35. I would think, I just don't think. Yeah, she wouldn't draw. I haven't seen her do well on the mic. This is Ivana Ivanka. What's her name? Ivana Ivanka.

Yeah. She's fine on the mic. I think Ivana is ex-wife who's dead now. Yeah, she's buried out there at the golf course. They always make a big deal of it. It's a beautiful hole the best hole Is it really whole seven, I don't know She's off to the side somewhere just Sand trap i've seen the grave. It's like not fancy at all. It is not celebrated. No

uh Yeah, I Yeah, I don't know my dad's dogs get about the same treatment They have those flat tombstones on the ground and you cut the grass around them. That's what treats these dogs Well, though, I've always liked that aspect of him like his father If you're a dog you could do you'd be doing well to be cow pads Do you gotta look after and they're like little people they're just they just don't have you know any rights So i've got to treat them about you know that way. I guess next president. I was wildly wrong. I thought it was going to be uh, Who is the? The speaker of the house paul ryan. Yeah, I thought it was going to be him

But I feel like the party is not moving. I thought it was going to swing back in that direction, but I take that back. I was wrong. I need a new guess. Yeah. Did a Paul Ryan just leave politics? Yes. Yeah. Two years into Trump's term, the Fert, the only one he, he just didn't want to do it anymore. And they were losing the house and I don't think he wanted to be minority leader. That apparently is a lot less fun. So he would just done.

Oh, I imagine it's way less fun. It's probably a bunch of fun being the majority leader. You get to just go around and kind of bully people. Hey, sign this idiot. You make all the rules. Yeah. Yeah. What's so good or suck?

What? Who was the, who was the, was he the vice-pres prince presidential nominee the cycle before? Yes for Romney Romney. Yeah. Yeah, Romney Ryan Yeah, cuz I think I remember Biden and Paul Ryan had their debate I was I was at a strip club in Kentucky and they were debating and I was like I gotta go back to the hotel Watch this debate. What are you talking about? In 2012 I was like finishing up college and like college was so much less political when I was going there than it is now that like I didn't vote

none of my friends voted like people would talk about they'd be like what do you think about Obama versus Romney? Like shut up. That's okay. I was super into that one. I was super into that one. Yeah. We were worried about the gun stuff, you know? We were worried about the gun stuff and a few other things. And you know, when Romney was,

back then a political faux pas that would ruin your career was something like Romney getting caught saying that only an X percentage of Americans even pay taxes, which is a truth. You know, he had finders full of women. He wasn't he wasn't even wrong about the tax thing. They're not wrong, but it's rude. We pay sales tax. Well, yeah, when when say you didn't come on. Yeah, we all know some of you steal though. Yeah. I was telling Taylor I'm not watching as many of the like people die police

videos. I've been watching the petty ones. So like just crazy people yelling in the street, uh, arguments at gas stations and stuff like that. It's, I think it's taken less smaller parts of my soul than the normal killings. A little bit of petty theft, a little bit of petty theft. It's, I'll never understand it, but my best guess is that some people are so much stupider than average. Let's just say that we here are average. There are people that are so much stupider than us that when a cop says,

Hey, you're under arrest, they think I just get away. Like if I could just turn this into a game of tag, you're it then and I win, then I'm home free, right? Because like, but it's like, no, dude, we got to in my head. I'm like, when they, when they said, put your hands up, you're under arrest. Keep your hands out of your pockets or whatever they said to me. I was like, let's follow their instructions to the letter. Try to show them I'm a polite young gentleman.

And it didn't say Simon Says. It would have been great if you went into like a Scooby-Doo villain kind of monologue where you're like, ah, you found me. You'd be in your way with it too if it wasn't for you and your meddling officers. You dirty bitch yelling at the post office woman. You know, it goes both ways. Have you guys ever run from the police? No.

Oh yeah, yeah. I've done it a bunch of times, but a teenager at a party, right? So like six cops come to bust 120 kids. This is basically an ITQ test. Get out of there. Get out of there, get off the X and you'll get away free. They don't know who you are.

Okay, if that counts as running from the police, I have fled house parties when I was on the train. I would be nice. I guess I never thought of it that way. I would be speeding. I'd be going 100 plus on a highway road, not an interstate. And I would meet the cop in the road.

We like, he, and I see him get on his brakes and I have a decision, you know? Like my car's fast. This car's pretty fast, too. But I'm already going 110. And he's got to stop and turn around. And I know these roads I know right where I am. I know every turn off and where it turns off. I can be three turns away, like strategically, and I would always just be like, fuck you and give it more. Because I've just got to make it around

enough corners that I can do my brake lights and get off the road. And then I'm left, right, left riding it through like country roads, I'm gone. I had that same situation on a motorcycle at 17. And it's like a dull story. Like I had this dumb idea as a teenager that if I wasn't going double the speed limit, I wasn't cool.

That's so fast. I was always going like 110 on the highway, like 70 around the turn, stuff like that. And I'm just trying to maintain double the speed limit. And sure enough, cops going one way, I'm going the other. Closing speed must have threatened like 200. And I saw him get on the brakes, turn his lights on, and make his U-turn. I got on even more gas

and I wasn't far from my friend's house. It was like three more miles and six more turns. And the story just kind of wraps, you know, two turns later, I never saw him again. And that was it. They can't get back there and catch you. They want you to believe escaping harder than it is.

You hear that? Double the speed limit or you're gay. Let's wrap on that. We have the hangout today.