Painkiller Already - PKN 538

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

PKN 538. Can you believe that snitch at McDonald's ratted out the United Healthcare Hero? That's fucking come on. It really is like I texted Taylor earlier. I'm like, would you turn to man? Would you turn to man? He's like, I guess if there's a reward, I'm like fucking Eichmann.

Fucking rat. I knew what answer you wanted and I gave the one you didn't. I don't think I'd, I know I wouldn't turn him in. No way would I turn that guy in. I don't think so. But a version of me that's working at McDonald's would have a hard time turning down $50,000.

Do you think, so what's the story? There's some random person, we don't know if it's a man or woman at McDonald's. So then hey the guy is here. Yes That's as far as I know. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. It's so weird. I don't think so They had the guys picture all over the news everywhere in the world It was funny because they asked You know the NYPD, they're like, so you hadn't, his name was nowhere on your map. And they're like, no, we had absolutely no idea that this individual had anything, any connection with the event. He was no, he was not

a person of interest in any way whatsoever. And she's like, and then she's like, okay, well, once again, thanks to the brilliant work of the NYPD, he's been captured. And I'm like, wait, what? No, this is the Ronald McDonald house, if anything. The NYPD could have sat on their hands the whole time. And... Well, someone released all that. Someone went through surveillance footage.

The surveillance footage they had was like stores and subways. They must've really tracked where he was walking and what he did that day. That's so easy to do. That's why I was the McDonald's thing. I know. Like you could imagine how it works.

Like I feel like everybody understands this, but all right, we know what happened here. So we start with that camera. Like, all right, he came from the left, camera left. All right, walk down that way and talk and go to all those businesses and subpoena their cameras. All right, we've subpoenaed the subway. Looks like he enters from the right.

All right, everyone, every business to the right, get their footage. And they just keep repeating. I hear you, but that to me is good police work. I mean, I don't, police work for the purpose of evil, you know, to take down guardians and heroes, but. Yeah. No, it's a shame I do think I do think it's possible that maybe the jury can't convict him but like I feel like if I

think if they do it I don't know if it's state charges or federal charges maybe both but in New York I think they have some sort of murder would be a state charge, right? well, I Mean it it could it could all go wrapped up into it It could be I get all the I feel like federal is usually like stuff like taxes or whatnot Like if you like kill someone or if like you like viral is stuff that involved or like cross the state Yeah across state lines. So I don't know how that plays in so exactly like this situation, especially involving the gun That was exactly what I said it was So definitely yeah, I thought it was a veterinarian gun

That's silly. I've seen that story right? I didn't make it up. It's everywhere for me That would be a silly thing if it were Printed okay, he 3d printed's a 3D printed, okay. He 3D printed his gun, 3D printed his silencer. Exactly what I said. I saw one report, they were like, we've got a firearms expert who says it may be a very rare Egyptian pump pistol.

And I'm like, no, now he didn't bring a fucking antique rare pistol with him. He made a pistol. Kyle, they had five minutes to fill their bring in the Egyptologist gun guy. Guns. Guns. He's got frizzy hair. What is a what is a veterinarian gun? I'm not that's just something you use to put an

animal down. What is that? If you're asking me about veterinarian guns, I could I know that they use a piston gun to put to kill cows. When Woody said veterinarian gun, I thought that. Oh, I think there were some people on the Internet going with that story. Oh, like I just Google it. It's ABC, MSN, CNN. All ran that story. Here's, CNN, all ran that story.

Here's the New York Post running that story. Like I- Yeah, show it Zach. But based on what, right? Like literally- Oh, well that could be wrong. I'm just saying like in my little news universe, veterinarian gun was everywhere.

Doesn't mean it's right. I'm just saying that. So there's his 3D printed gun. That's not a veterinarian gun. It looks like a... It looks like a Glock because they're using that pattern. And then I wish there was a picture of the silencer. That's the part I haven't seen yet.

But anywho, 3D printed gun. He still had it on him, which is... That's odd. He had it on him, which is odd. He had it on him in the McDonald's. And he also presented the fake idea that he had been using the New Jersey ID or whatever. So, I don't know. He's in a lot of trouble. You think he's a patsy? No, I don't think he's a patsy.

I hate conspiracy theories when they don't belong. It's like, get out of here. Like you can see why he did this. This guy's social media is nothing but like well put together thoughts about about things like this. He's really smart guy. You see his background? Yeah, I saw some posts from him and see no dummy. Clearly not a dummy. Of course he was a valedictorian in high school. He went to an Ivy League

school. He's got six pack abs. This guy is handsome. He's a side from the murder thing. He's quite the catch. I saw a funny meme of like Brad Pitt in Inglourious Bastards saying like Luigi Mangione. Because it's the most over the it's such an Italian name that it's off putting where it's like come on that's like a failure to assimilate really. This is new to me. Zach says he had a back surgery a year or two ago and then he says it was surgically repaired. I put that together from the surgery thing, but maybe the health insurance company didn't

take good care of him. Question mark. Apparently his back was all fucked up and he like wasn't able to like those pictures of him. My understanding is like when he's like jacked and doing all that hiking and everything, that's all before he had this like calamitous back injury and the surgery failed and he was in a lot of pain and wasn't able to do things normally anymore.

Yeah. That's the work on those eyebrows. Am I looking at a spine and like a lower back with it? That's what it looks like. That's when you see nails and metal in a body, it's like, oh, I thought it would be more carefully placed in there. Dude, I have so much gosh darn hardware in my body. I'd be like losing track where it is. I know there's some in my left ankle. I think there's some in my knee and I'm like, like, yeah, yeah, that's what joints look like, right? It's normalized. Some nails and pins.

And they crisscross in all these weird ways. And I talked to a surgeon who wasn't the one who did it. And I was like, is this what he meant to do? Like, is this, like, it looks all like a bad carpenter did this. and he's like, no, this is actually good work. Every one of these is exactly where I'd want them to be. Like, okay.

Yeah. The, uh, the thing that was like enjoying seeing people struggle with was like after someone does any kind of shooting, everyone wants to like superimpose on that person, either like their own beliefs. If they think what they did was good or either like their own beliefs, if they think what they did was good or like the other side's beliefs that they think what it did was bad. And like, I saw like those political compass memes with like posts from this guy that literally fit every single corner. Like he seems to be have his finger in a lot of pies. And so

it's fun to see people be like, look at this post where he says that Jordan Peterson is a fucking idiot. He's clearly a leftist. And then someone responds to that. And he's like, here's four paragraphs of him talking about how much he thought Ted Kaczynski's description of the damages and potentials of leftism was very astute. And they're like, well, here's another one where he liked this guy. It's very entertaining. So Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro and someone on Fox News all were like, look at the left. Go. They, we even know who this guy was at the point. The left is trying to take down United CEOs and then the crowds, at least my, you know, observation of the crowds, the people on the right were like, no, no,

no, no, no, we like them too. This isn't a left, right issue. This is class warfare and we all hate the rich and i'm like okay okay yeah a lot of a lot of those talking heads couldn't read the room uh i i today i noticed or maybe it was yesterday i get my news slightly delayed because i watched like a re-upload but um it was something like it was one of the press conferences and he was like make no mistake there are people on the internet and a dark corner of the world saying that this man is a hero yeah right here no no hero hero is that that McDonald's in Pennsylvania cooking fries tonight folks let that be heard loud and clear What? I said I fucking NARC the same way.

Like sometimes the right rubs me so in the wrong direction. It's like I was listening to I think it was I can't Dana Batten and I Dana Bash. It's a conservative blonde lady who's a cunt. I can't think of her name, but it doesn't matter. She's got her own TV show on Fox and and she was talking about porn laws or something like that. And she was using, um, the prevalence or, uh, the new prevalence apparently, um, of choking and sex. Um, she was like choking. She made it sound like people were stuffing, like, I don't know, light bulbs up their assholes or stuff and like and like crushing

them like she was like that it wasn't consensual choking that it was just you just start maliciously choking someone well that she was like I feel like she's telling us 18 or oh dude she made choking sound like it was the most forbidden just go on tv and say you're bad in bed just do that Just go on TV and say you're bad in bed. Just do that Dude I wish there's gonna be some of these people aren't doing missionary They're calling it dog style Absolutely despicable behavior animalistic Yeah, I would be funny if like she was into something more extreme where she's like these people are choking each other and the rest of us are just wearing diapers and sucking on

pacifiers having those on like Americans. It's like hold on what are you doing? Is it Megan Kelly? No, Megan Kelly's cool. She doesn't have a show anymore now she's on Fox yeah yeah yeah news blonde lady that's that's the end of my list yeah it's um she's stuck up lady I can't think of her name it doesn't matter but Megan Kelly's got her own show where she's like the camera is always just so blurry that I feel like I'm short-sighted I'm nearsighted I'm like oh you know so I did Harley's podcast yesterday. I promise I'll circle back to the topic. And we were all talking about camera stuff, right?

Like he makes his, I don't know what he does exactly during the, on his camera, but it blurs everything. And like after the show, he fixed his camera and he's like look at how much more information you have there's bags there's wrinkles there's this there's that and then he flipped it back to the other way and I'm like wow I didn't even it wasn't observably blurry to me it just had a little less detail

on like the eye crinkles you have here whatever and then I haven't like these doors they're white now they they look pretty white to me now. Sometimes they're even yellower. I don't know why that happens. But yeah, and I'm just like, yeah, if you saw me in person, I'm a little bit vampiric sometimes. We could all use some vitamin D. The dealer that I look.

Yeah. Yeah, anyway, so yeah, Meg and Kelly, I didn't think that she was intentionally blurring it, but I'll look for that because it makes sense. Oh, of course. Yeah, Anyway, so yeah, Megan Kelly, I didn't think that she was intentionally blurring it, but I'll look for that because it. Oh, of course. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. She's younger than she did in 2016. Yeah. She she looks better than eight years ago. She looks very pretty. But he's like a big shot. Kelly. She's aging really well. Like we don't agree politically.

We can all agree that she looks good, right? Yeah. Yeah, she's got the long hair back. That's a big win. Remember there was like that time where all the politics women were like, we all have to look like Rachel Maddow. It was like, boo, we're not here

because we think you're smart. Rachel Maddow, she's aging, but she's pretty, but she doesn't max her looks. She like, mens her looks. She looks like Bob Saget, dude. There was a time when I thought she was a little bit cute, but like, that was 15 years ago. Exactly, yeah, yeah.

I give her a pass, maybe because I'm old, for not staying young, like nobody does, but I don't know. I like the way Taylor's phrasing. She kind of mends her looks. Yeah. It's like, she's trying, dude, I just searched Rachel Maddow on Twitter and it's her interviewing Mark Cuban.

Like they're, they look so similar. Like Mark Cuban. Same haircut. Yeah, they look like they're becoming the same being. They got the same face shape. There's a couple people in like the left wing news ecosystem who are meaning their looks. Oh God, that's a bad picture.

That's her best picture. No, it's not. Her hair is a mess. What's up with that butterfly fucking collar? She is literally styled for a runway. Like this is her best look, I swear to God. Yeah, that's her like thinking the hair looks good. But all of us as like normal straight men are like,

she didn't do that. She's so fucking professional. This to me is what she looks like on her show typically. And this is a bad day. That's her best day. What's this then? You think she looks worse? That's her at work. You think she looks better in the other picture? Absolutely. The TV is going to be more flattering and more of that blur effect you talked about and like a runway. To me this looks better but maybe you like the other one better. She's on a red carpet in the

other one. She's a little chunky right there. Who the fuck is that? Little Shane Gillis. Is that supposed to be her? Little Shane Gillisian that one. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, that's not even the same name as me. I don't know their name. One is Joy Reid, I think, and then there's another.

There's two black women on MSNBC that min their looks. They're darn near bald. One's often dyed blonde, which is- That's a wig, Woody. I don't, no, it's often dyed blonde, which is. That's a wig, Woody. I don't, no it's not. We're not talking about the same person then. Okay. Yeah, it is like practically skin,

barely any hair dyed blonde, it's not a wig. Okay, there's a black liberal news lady who's bald and she wears a blonde wig sometimes and it like falls all over her head. Oh, it might be her actually second from the last. Overhead. It's really good.

Yeah. Yeah. See, that's drifting around. Like it is. You can see her skull through the thing I'm talking about. Like I wish it was a close rep picture of it. Anyway, there's a couple of guys in the girls actually in the left ecosystem that men looks and I'm like, stop it.

Stop it. It's a popularity contest to play here and your fucking dog this does not look like a like a fun round table like nightmare blonde rotation is that good MSNBC panel yeah and everybody yes yeah that's hilarious I'm not looking at it. Oh, yeah. On the right. That's I'm talking about. Same. That I could get that it's the same lady, but that's not a wig on the right. That look on the right is meaning her looks.

And I'm just like, why? What do you stop it? What do you want her to do differently? What do you fix her? Oh, I'd be OK with other like low maintenance hairstyles. She could grow it a little longer and have it dark and it'd be fine. Like I'm okay I think that she has like bad hair. I think like black people often have like my hair just like stops working Like like like that's as good as it gets for her dude Like like you could put on a long wig if she wanted that would be fine

So a better wig you could grow down like further into the forehead region. Like, I don't see why that. Please go back one, please go back one because we were so focused on her horrible wig. What is she wearing? What is that? Like sushi. Wearing like the bag that like popcorn would come in at a movie.

Yeah, she's wearing like it's like gift wrap. What are those painted fingernails severed fingers? What am I looking at? It looks like petals, like chopped up shrimp. This. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I stopped. Shrip shirt and my and my cheapest wig. I diced up shrimp shirt. It's a special occasion for the readout tonight.

When you're in entertainment, you are the product and you need to make sure that product is buffed and polished and shined. And this is an ugly person looking as ugly as they can. That's the dude that go back to that previous one, by the way, keep the slideshow going. That's literally the same pattern, like as Homer's Moo Moo, 100 pounds. And he's like, Marge, you can't even tell I've gained weight. That was a solid impression right there. It was really good. Yeah, she looks awful.

Man, MSNBC is not sending their best folks. They are sending their worst. That's my point. Then you get Fox News over there, and I don't know if every woman is a former model, but it seems like that's the mold that they're looking for. Even Jessica Tarlov, who I don't think of as the best looking Fox News person, is actually kind of pretty. She's wearing the same shirt that Jack wears

and a Jack in the box. She dresses like a fucking Batman villain. She's gonna start threatening the city. Well, this is her best look so far we've seen. Bravo. Yeah. Or the best one so far. It's like, dude, if you have this in your pocket,

why are you breaking out all that other stuff? So, what is with her in lavender? I don't know. Someone told her that was her color in mean spiritedly, no doubt. But we dressed it up. There's so much space between your spine. The fact that we've seen that wig like three times now proves that it wasn't an emergency, oh shit, my hairpiece fell kind of moment.

She bought this, wore it on national television, and thought, damn, that looked good. I've seen their ratings. They showed their ratings the other day, and obviously they plummeted after the election because there's not an election going on and because, you know, a number of other reasons. showed their ratings the other day and obviously like they plummeted after the election because there's not an election going on and because you know a number of other reasons but it was like a middling YouTube channel like it was it was like 30,000 views on one show and like 50,000 on another and it was like this how are they employing like teams of people at a network and like, like that cameraman can't, how do you employ a camera?

They're like, uh, I don't know their specific metrics, but I saw that like, they're the majority of their advertisers, key demos in that demo, which is like middle-aged women, like they're getting numbers similar to what you said, where it's like 50 K maybe from that target demo, which means a lot of advertisers are going to be hunting for for ad space on MSNBC. I thought you were like, I was like, I know he's probably looking at three hour old videos or something. No, man. Like, so I scroll back two days ago and I'm going to say in news, you get most of your views in the first two days, right? Who's watching six-day-old news?

I'm just gonna go through some numbers. 171,000, okay. 16,000, 6,000, 118, 233, 33, 1.4K, right? 1 1⁄2 thousand views, 14K, 13K, 3K, 35, 15, 30, 33, 14K, 13K, 3K, 35, 15, 30, 33, and 7.6K. There are a lot of sub 10,000 view videos on MSNBC. Now it does hurt them that they- You're on their YouTube channel? Yeah, they upload like 20 times a day.

I'm talking about their network viewership. Oh, okay. Like they're a channel, they're MSNBC, and the people tuned in will only be 50,000 Like like that's what I like. How do you keep the lights on? How do you broadcast that? It's crazy And then Fox News will have a half million people all the time. They'll end up selling MSNBC Like there's just not a worthwhile endeavor for them. I don't know

Like there's just not a worthwhile endeavor for them. I don't know what selling it means. Well, it would be really the purpose of it would be so that NBC, their flagship network could distance themselves from like this crashing and burning substation. Like they it's bad for NFNBC's viewership to be associated with MSNBC. Nobody likes that. I don't even know what the business model is for this kind of content anymore. Like broadcasted TV. Who wants that?

Please. I want to watch sports again. Get it off broadcast TV. It sucks. Yeah, it's going the way off. Like as the boomers die, TV is going to follow rapidly. Well, let's talk about sports while we're at it. Like's like TV news is tanking and it's just not going to come back. Did you watch the game? I watched Georgia and Texas and I paid some attention. Yes, that was so for the uninitiated. The SEC championship took place. And the way the the playoffs work this year, new system, if you win your bowl game, you're automatically in. Okay, so Lucky Schmucky Clemson comes out of nowhere, Dark Horse Mode wins their conference, the ACC, and they were like ranked 16th or something. They're in playoffs,

like Lucky them. Alabama, suck a dick Alabama. No one cares about your strength of schedule. You got three losses hit fucking hit the probe kick bricks It's the bricks. Oh, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. Especially watching Nick Saban on ESPN picking against Georgia every single fucking time Oh, it's you watching him at this. Can I ask a question? Yeah, so It's like college basketball, this is new information to me in that like, if the people who win the bowl games were going to make the playoffs anyway, then like the 10th ranked team might be more likely to get in or better yet like the 7th ranked team. But if the people that make the bowl games were long shots, then the 7th best team is fucking out of it because 16 took their

spot. That's how that works. That's what happened. Clemson won and they're in. Georgia, Texas though was hard to watch. It was a nail-biter the whole time. It was a messy game. It was real nasty. Georgia lost their quarterback at the end of the first half, the last play. He's out the rest of the season. He's got a tendon injury. It's Gatame John surgery candidate. It's that tendon, I can't remember which one, but he's done. So they used the backup quarterback the whole second half, came back and they get down to the wire, go to overtime, in overtime, Texas scores,

and Georgia comes back trying to run in a touchdown. The backup quarterback tries to run the ball in to win the game, and he gets hit so goddamn hard his helmet flies off. Rules say he's gotta go out of the game. So we gotta bring the starting quarterback back into the game But he can't lift his arm. You don't have a third quarterback

Not we needed him now like like like because this guy's helmet flew off. It's like oh shit Somebody's gonna come in now somebody who's like wearing their helmet. So, okay starting quarterback comes in can't lift his arm hands the ball off Runs it in scores a touchdown. We win the game. SEC champions, Texas, suck the suck all the dicks horns down. You're fucking stupid. You're stupid. Like beef burger mascot wasn't allowed to come. That was cute too. You wore your away jerseys. Fuck you. Okay. It was beautiful. Where was the game? Atlanta. It's a's it's an away game for both teams. Oh

You guys would get like home Jersey rights, right it's your state. I don't know how that works anyway Beat him twice for so that was that was beautiful We may have to beat him a third time because they're still in the playoffs They're in the top of the bracket and we're in the bottom of the bracket. We're the number two seed now, which means we get the buy. We don't have to play the first round of games and we may be playing against Notre Dame or I can't remember who the other possibility will be in the semi-finals or the quarterfinals, whatever it is.

You feel confident that they're going to crush Notre Dame. Well, well, no, we were going to be using a sophomore quarterback who's our backup, who's had like 15 touches. This is the same guy who almost beat Texas, right? He did beat Texas, but well, combo, I guess. Yeah, maybe I said it. So there's no shot in your starter. Like this game's like a month from now, right?

Okay, no shot. That's it. He's out. But you do have your second guy. You're not down to some like, you know, we got a receiver who played a little quarterback in high school. I think it's not one of those.

Yeah, I don't know what our chances are. I don't like them obviously with a backup quarterback, but it was, I hope Texas loses. I don't want to see them prevail. And as long as that happens, I'll be happy. And like every game was kind of free for us at this point, because just beating Texas, won the SEC, I'm happy enough with that.

This is definitely the worst Georgia team that we've had in the last four or five years. So they've been really scrappy. They keep coming back in games. They keep winning games in the last four or five years. So they've been really scrappy. They keep coming back in games. They keep winning games in the fourth quarter. I went two more and they're the champions though. It's fun when this happens though. Like I, all right.

It's not bad to see your team absolutely dominant, you know, looking at going undefeated for a whole year. Like that's cool. I get it. But there's also something fun about when your team scratches and claws their way and stays alive. And NC State, NC State is typically a basketball team ranked between like 20th and 65th.

And last year we made the dance by winning our tournament. We were one of those teams that would have never made the dance unless we won the ACC, which is hard. We beat Duke and we beat UNC on the way to our tournament championship. And then we kept winning. We won in the dance. We got to the final four.

That is a good year for NC State. Every game seemed free. We had this big fat center with a giant space in between his teeth who loves to smile. He's so happy all the time. And I'm like, I'm digging this, go boy. And it was a good time. So it's fun to watch a scrappy team win,

maybe more fun than a dominant one. Yeah. Is NC State in a bowl game this year for football? It wasn't our year, I'll have to look. I think you only have to be like over 500 to get a bowl game, right? Yeah, we might be have to look. I think you only have to be like over 500 to get a bowl game right? Yeah we might be there close to that. Because I mean this is going to be a clash a true clash of the titans, Missouri taking on Iowa in the music city bowl. There you go. And it's don't

even begin to call it a step down from fighting Ohio State in the cotton bowl last year. Those are equally impressive. Ohio State in the playoffs. We are playing someone in the go military, go bowling military bowl. Oh dude, that sounds made up. The military bowls is one of the most respected bowls here in Raleigh. You don't respect the military bowl. Yeah. Jesus, Kyle. Which military?

This football game is dedicated to the brave fighters of the Mujahideen. What was Saddam Hussein's army? The Republican Guard? Dude, talk about like a dark number. Talk about a team that's taken L after L. Is it who's the maybe it's the who's the NFL team that's never won a Super Bowl? Is it is Buffalo Cleveland? Has Cleveland ever won Buffalo or maybe the Lions?

One or the other. I have in my head that it's the bills of the Browns It was like five. It's like five sexes. All right, we'll probably all right How can you how can you get behind a franchise? That's never won Like that's what I liked about the Golden Knights coming out so strong like that like getting that and I'm sure there's NHL teams Who are like what the fuck guys 70 years and nothing and these guys in the desert, they're in a fucking desert. It is the Toronto Maple Leafs fans. They'll they cope by saying we haven't won since 1964, but really or 1967, but really it's like,

that's when they expanded from six teams from six. That's they've never won a cup in a league that had more than six teams in it and so it's like I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear it so I didn't realize in 64 there were only six teams I didn't yeah that to me is like 1914 or something like that extended into semi-modern history yeah yeah I think it was either 64 or 67 that they added the six expansion teams of which St. Louis was the first one.

And then they, uh, have gone, what now 60 years almost still no success. Poor. I, I hope the Leafs win because it's literally like the city that cares the absolute most about hockey on the planet. Like they, they, like their hockey team is like the Cowboys in Dallas. Like they're like, they're, they're actual celebrities in their city. And so they get ripped apart when they fail and they've been failing for so long. It's just, this is my daydream. Right.

If I suddenly got bit by a radioactive spider and was the best athlete the planet has ever seen, right. Spider-Man is a goalie, never lets one by. Absolutely. Spider-Sense would tell him before the shot came, right? So I'm that guy. I'm like, oh, what fan base would love a win more than any other? Where does the joy come from?

And I guess it's probably Toronto. What a giver would it be? For sure, you would be, like whatever, if you go to Toronto and you're the goalie that wins them a cup, like you're a level of hero that like you will never pay for housing in Toronto again. Like you'll be, you'll like, so Toronto's nice, probably. They got, you got, maybe you got money, any place.

Zach, could you show me on a map where Toronto is? It's in Canada. It's in the south part. You know how big Canada is. Yeah, but everything's in that bottom little sliver. It's fine. I'm learning about Antarctica. I didn't know how big Antarctica is because on the you know the bottom of the globe it's just that little line. You're like you don't get any sense for the size of it. Dude, it's as big as Mexico, the Gulf of Mexico, all of the United States, and most of Canada. Like it's that big down. It's gigantic. And it's covered with like three kilometers of ice. Like, look at that Toronto. I think Toronto is south of Detroit. Oh, okay.

Okay. Yeah, that'd be all right. That's not so bad. Yeah, see? Like it's not like- What is the weather like though? Like- U.S. adjacent. That's the good thing. It's similar to- Vancouver over there is curiously warm for weather reasons I can't explain.

Something to do with being in a valley between two things. It never snows in Vancouver. I didn't know that. That's weird. You'd think it would up there. Yeah, the housing is so expensive because it's a very desirable place to live. Toronto though is that that's like where the lake effect snow comes pouring down, right? That's like buffalo weather. It's the exact same weather pattern as Detroit.

Like every year Detroit Red Wings games are you know outside. Yeah basically outside but they're flooded with Toronto fans because Toronto fans can just leave the country, drive to Detroit and watch the Red Wings play way cheaper than they can watch the wings. Or, yeah, the Leafs rather, not the Leafs. Yeah, I was like, I wish Atlanta would get a team. That's what I really hope. So whenever I see an angry fan base, I'm thinking like, you come here. You come here.

We will not watch, but I will. I'll pretend to care. Maybe we'll get Kovalchuk back as a 52 year old man. That's so funny that that's the guy you remember because I do. Yeah, Hosa and Kovalchuk. That was any bit of attention shown to the Thrasher's was about those guys because that was about all they had. There were the two stars of the team. shown to the thrashers was about those guys because that was about all they had. There were two stars, the team. My friend had signed pucks from them both. We went to a few games and I like it. We talked the subject into the ground, but it's a really good sport to actually go to the arena

and see it's probably the best. So I would love to have a hockey team here. It'd be something to do. I've been Wanting to go to an not amateur but like one of those middling MMA leagues There's there's some there's some medium-sized ones in Atlanta. I can't remember the name of it It's like XFC or some shit, but they've got like an octagon and they've got interesting seating where you're kind of looking down into the octagon if you and I want to go to one of those I'm sure it'd be possible to have them fight in like a bowl like like like combat karate Zach can you show

combat karate's arena okay I want to see this like that I've seen clips we're like they're in different karate school I I don't know how this works. What stops people from going out of the bowl? And if the sides of the bowl are so high that it's basically a cage, well, now I can't see better anyway. This isn't achieving my purpose. I just want like, baseball has a warning track

so you know if you're about to hit the ball. I kind of want a warning incline. Oh, well, I like that. Yeah, that's better than my ideas. Yeah, I watch a good bit of this. I wish they had stars. It doesn't seem to have any stars. But this arena is like when they get if you went to the ground

in this, I'd like that so much better than a cage. We just end up back in kind of a there'd be some interesting positions. I mean, I bet if you got some grounded in the corners, you could work some weird stuff. But but anyway, I like this design a lot. That's what I've been talking about for years. Like having them in a pit,

the ancients knew best. It's why it was called pit fighting it. That's why they go pit bulls, you know, like it makes sense to have your fighting sport down enough. And I'll never put that together with pit bulls I never never know about why? ruthless beasts Each and every one they all have any time. I see something about a pit bull in the news. It's not good

It's like now that there's three-year-old is gonna be exploring life faceless I've mentioned it before but I always like to bring it up when pit bulls come up. And it's that it's like pit bull seizure attack syndrome or whatever that that that scenario that is so, so common where the owner of a pit bull who's before now been normal and never had an issue. If the owner has a seizure, if they hit the floor and start seizing something, the pit bull will see that as, I don't know what they're thinking, but they kill the person. They maul their owners to death when their owner goes into a seizure. It's like they see weakness in the herd and they're trying to call it or some shit. It's called pit bull seizure attack syndrome. We got to get rid of these guys. There's too many good types of dogs to be putting them on the list.

Oh, come on. You've heard of golden retriever seizure attack syndrome. Yes. What they actually say is like, actually, it's the dangerous one is Chihuahua seizure attack syndrome. Chihuahuas are assholes. I picture Taylor seeing a pit bull on the street being, pit bull's like nice masseter muscle. Nice masseter.

That's what I do. I bite him and then they're like, his owner's kicking me and stabbing me, but I won't let go. I have a, I got me, he's got a finger in my ass to get me to, to open my jaws and relax. Little do you know, this was my plan all along.

Tailor legs is tail. The rest of my body's limp and they're pulling me by the legs, but I'm holding on. You got a butt plug in when you get your pants down? Yeah, those things are. I saw a video like this week of this woman like posting a TikTok thinking it was fun being like, look at how obsessed my pitbull, my pity is with getting steak. And like she takes this big hunk of steak and is putting it on a plate in front of him. And like, just the, the illusion of control over She's like, don't you take that steak too quick? And it's just, brrrr! Just immediately takes it and is actively snarling, growling, like death in the eyes.

Like fury and anger at the owner. And this woman's like, he loves steak, doesn't he? And it's like, no, he's going to kill you. He wants you dead. If you were to try and take the steak, bite your fingers off. I see it both ways because I think of pit bulls the same way I think about machine guns. It's like, yeah, you can give it all one, but you should probably give it some, that shouldn't be your first gun.

Maybe, what other guns have you had? And you can't give it to the dog park. Yeah, that's fair. Hey, you can't shoot that gun here. We're bird hunting. You can't have an AK out here. Like, like you take your machine gun and put it away. You know, that's exactly how I feel about those pit bulls. I don't, I don't want to like exterminate their bloodline, but I,

I think you should probably need a license to get one. Those things are, they're a little different than the average dog. They're, they're a little closer to a monster who eats children's faces than a dog. Yeah. I've met some very, very sweet pit bulls, but I still wonder like, what are they like on their bad days? Right? What are they like if you're, if they're scared or stepped on while they're eating stepped on? That's a good one. Or like when I had my yellow labs, my kids were so small. I saw one of them put their fingers in both nostrils of my dog's nose.

The dog's not that smart. He's like suffocating gives him like 12, 15 seconds. He's like, oh, open mouth got it. And the whole time it never occurred to him to be aggressive or even to like wrestle back or anything. He just, these are children, we don't hurt them. What happens if you do that to a pit bull? Yeah. It wouldn't be as confident in the outcome.

No, no, the point is it depends on the pit bull. The consequences are the variable though, because if you step on a beagle and it snaps because your beagle has bad temperament or your beagle has a bad bloodline or your beagle has been raised improperly, oh, no big deal, the beagle bit Tommy. Ha ha ha, he won't fuck with that beagle anymore, will he?

Yeah, little rascal stands up for himself, don't you boy? And it's all good. But if your pit bull like bites the kid then suddenly like flesh is hanging off their bones, you know Or maybe they like snap and go into predator prey mode and they just you know They kill your fucking kid or something. I think my dog is a kid and I deserved it I was I was fucking with a rottweiler when I was like Seven like I was like messing with him, you know, I don't remember exactly what I did, but like made him mad and he bit me in the head. Do you see that boy that was like mauled? I think it was by a pit bull protecting his sister. Yeah.

Yeah. The internet loves him. They're like, this guy's got bad ass scars. He's going to get all the girls. I'm like, well, I, I hope that's true. I bet he's going to be very fearful of dogs for the rest of his life and maybe have some other psychological issues. Ladies, I'd be with a dog one time. He like, he like clumsily uses the straw cause his lips don't close. Right. And then he like he like clumsily uses a straw because his lips don't close, right? He's got a shot of bourbon and a straw like that fucking guy with half a face from boardwalk empire Well become a bit of a drug addict

It's mean to say cuz now we're gonna show this seven-year-old hero kid, but I was gonna say- It's the picture I'm thinking of. It wasn't even a face bite. It was like a attack on the back. It's a face bite and it's face is ruined. It's interesting, there's multiple of these stories. I was just thinking, I hope he got a good plastic surgeon. I saw a more current picture than the one you're about to see. Oh, here it is.

Oh. Second picture incoming. Damn. So he healed pretty well, but sometimes you need to see a face in motion to get a better vibe for it. Like you might pose for a decent picture, but then you smile or just emote

and the asymmetricalness can show through. His little sister looks like a porcelain doll, right? Like, what a cute little child. It genuinely looks like one of those expensive dolls. They're a good looking family. Then now, did we see one of the healed? Or is there not another healed one? That was a healed picture.

I think that's the most recent. Looked pretty good. Oh, well then, okay. I literally didn't notice that he had even a scar. So if you looked again, I think you would, if you were looking at like focus, but he healed pretty well. I just don't know how it looks in motion.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll shout out to that kid. Good for him. Yeah, I went to school with a kid who, and a lot of them, it's a regular thing in the South, I think, because we eat so many goddamn fried foods, especially poor people, but you know, they spill eat so many goddamn fried foods, especially poor people. But they spill grease on children

and fry their faces and stuff. So I've seen several kids and I was like, oh, that kid got fried, you can tell. You can see it. That happened to my friend's kid. It wasn't fried, it was like a coffee or a tea on the counter. They pulled it down on themselves.

That's what they did. Yeah. And that kid, I don't know the end result. When I met the kid, he wore like a wetsuit 24 hours a day. He's a bubble boy. That sucks. Yeah. My friend came from a very wealthy family,

so the kid's gonna get the optimal outcome, whatever that is. Yeah. The optimal outcome was not to get scolded. Yeah. That's fucked. Yeah, I was always outcome was not to get scalded. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked. Yeah, I was always glad I didn't get disfigured. You know, with any of the shenanigans I would get up to because because we would blow shit up and we'd play with

acids and we'd have big vat bats melted lead. We'd play with acids and we ordered chemicals off the internet and mix them up. Like once I got my like licenses, I was like, all right, well let's order some scary shit. Weird with it boys. I said that I was like, let's get weird. It's safer now. I wonder, right?

It seems like that sort of activity doesn't have me. I also did a lot of wild stuff, but it wasn't chemical. It was more physical, like jumping on trains and I doesn't happen. I also did a lot of wild stuff, but it wasn't chemical. It was more physical, like jumping on trains and, I don't know, jumping bikes. I really liked fires as a kid. Luckily, growing up on that farm, there would be brush piles that needed burning occasionally. There was an outlet for my sickness, if that's what it was.

I didn't have to resort to making weird little matchbox fires and things. Picture your father like Dexter's fire father like Can't stop burning things. We need to just focus this in the right direction. Here's a pit Yeah, it was a little bit like that But mostly it was just a necessity like we would we would build these big brush piles up and they would the core of the brush Pile might be like three big old oak trees, but then there'd be like old pallets from where we got a generator delivered. And there'd be just a big brush pile of bamboo and stuff that got cleared up.

And then there'd be garbage, like all sorts of farm garbage boxes that stuff would come in and it would build up to the point where it was huge, like the side, like, like huge. Um, and I would soak those things down with gasoline and then let the fumes vaporize and like accumulate in the, uh, and all of the empty spaces, and then ignite those things and they can make them go Kaboom. Oh, so much fun. Big, big explosions. That's they really needed more sports in your area.

We have anything. We have anything. Like I would like paintball and that was it. Well, it was like your school did, right? Must have. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't want to do any of that. I don't want to do any of that. We had, like, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't very good at most things. And then I've told the story before, but that one kid got, got like raped on the baseball bus in in high school Which was a little scary could have good. I mean, I mean maybe and then and then also like Colin loses virginity till later Yeah

This kid eighth grade Those kids were just mean I remember like not to me But I remember this kid Smitty and like everybody decided Smitty was a bitch I remember like not to me, but I remember this kid Smitty and like everybody decided Smitty was a bitch Because like Smitty told on somebody or something and so they all just spit on him the whole ride back Got the team better, you know I guarantee if Spiti were useful in left field, they wouldn't have been getting bullied. No, they all spat on him on the bus the whole ride home and he kept turning around to see

who it was and everybody pretend like it wasn't them. But it was everybody. Everybody spat on him. And like this story was relayed to us and everybody thought it was so funny. And he eventually had a meltdown and they had to like make him go sit up at the front of the bus. And we were 16. What was the reason?

Like did he do something? Did he suck at baseball? Is he wrecking the team? What was the red or they're just kids being kiddie fucking mean as shit man. Like kids are mean. You can't step out of line. He probably like I think he told on somebody I think that might that comes to mind but like I don't remember what he did, I don't remember what he did.

I don't remember what he did. Yeah. So I didn't know. So I made fires. I didn't want to get spat on or raped. So I didn't play baseball in high school. I made my fire. Now he likes both those things.

Yeah. And you know what? It turns out, I've been having a lot more fun in high school than I just went with the flow, as they say. I could have I could have played a shortstop or something. Oh, for sure. And you would have I guarantee Kyle practices a little harder and grinds a little more every game after he sees Spitty drop a fly ball and then get that happen.

Get hop to it. Yeah. Get to it all over. Yeah. Or I guess walked all over. Yeah. Hop to it. Yeah. Get to it all over. Yeah. Or I guess walked all over. Yeah. Hopped into it. Hopped into it. Yeah.

Spitting on someone is so gross. That's such a disgusting thing to do. And to have everybody. It's almost like a, I don't know, a magical tool to provoke a fight. Like if you want somebody, you can say a lot of names, you can even push someone.

But something about the spitting is like, well, for a lot of names, you can even push someone, but something about the spitting is like, well, for better or for worse, I guess I gotta, you know, like I could overlook the shoulder check, but not this. It is, it's dehumanizing and it's unbelievably rude because it's, because it's gross. Right? No one loves that shit. Yeah. I never saw that in any of my sporting days.

Yeah, some people do actually. I guess some, yeah, but that would be like in a sexual fetish context. Yeah, I don't care. And even then, you can't just, if you just, can you imagine like hooking up with a girl and then just like base, like operating from the assumption that she's into being spit on? operating from the assumption that she's in being spit on. You're on top of her and you're like a bully in an 80s movie. You're like, open your mouth. You got a loogie? Yeah, you see it stretching down. Oh, that's rough. No one would like that. No, I don't like that. I don't like that. Spitting. No, spitting is gross. That's a, reminds me of that Howard Stern guy. He was, he had never the full Genesis, but it was one of those things.

One of the things I liked about the Stern show is someone would call in and they would become a regular caller. And then all of a sudden they'd be like, puke face, Greg, but ah, puked face. Greg's calling in. What's up? You face Greg for anyone who doesn't know. Puked face Greg fantasizes, pique face Greg's calling in. What's up? Pique face Greg for anyone who doesn't know pique face Greg fantasizes about being vomited on by women

but he's too ugly to pull the to pull that one off. Aren't you Greg? Yeah, I'm a I guess I'm kind of a loser but I really love to be vomited on. It's no kind of a **** fat. It's like, well, Greg, well, today, we're making your dream come true. Uh these ladies here, they're trying to win a thousand dollars

from Blockbuster. All right, Blockbuster, the best rental joint in all of upper Northwest New York state. And these women come in and they lay Greg on the floor on this plastic wrap and they're not into the fetish. So they're really having a hard time vomiting on a man. They're not there. So then it just becomes whoever can do it wins. Well, it's not easy to vomit if you don't want to. You have to be into the fetish to be able to like, I'm sure you eat the correct meal even. You would have to. Think about like, none of us feel sick right now. Really think like, I have to go in the bathroom and make myself throw up.

That sounds harrowing and terrible. I think I gagged myself and it could happen. You think you could get a quick one shove and vomit? I feel like I'd be in there. I really wanna. Like trying to stimulate it for a while. I think if there's poison, stimulate, I think if there's poison in there,

then I'm just gonna fish hook my throat. I'm not like gonna poke it and then pull out I'm going in and I'm staying in I'm like, oh Like I'm gonna mess around in there like I'm here to gag That's what I do and but like if there's and if there's poison to get out It's easy because your body is already on the cost if you want Now no, no, no, no, your body doesn't know about the poison you know about the poison oh like I drank a poison and then yeah okay well I'm gonna and then I told you aha that was poison and you're like oh shit I don't what I'd probably do is like drink two liters of

water as rapidly as I possibly could and then try to vomit like get it all to come out water yeah you put a ton of salt in there and mix it up, do the salt water. It'll make you vomit like crazy. Damn. I worked with a bulimic once and she would vomit all the time. She was hot, obviously. Big shout out. But I asked her, like, because she confided in me about it. And I was like, yeah, see, like stick your finger down your mouth.

And she's like, rookies do that. She did this thing where she'd kind of like flex her stomach and like she could just invoke throwing up. Like a bird. Well, because it made sense to me cause I can do that when I'm like a little nauseous, you know, like, do you have to throw up right now? Well, it's not like I couldn't prevent it, Because it made sense to me, because I can do that when I'm a little nauseous. Do you have to throw up right now? Well, it's not like I couldn't prevent it,

but I just kinda like, I don't know, flex my abs and throw up. You guys been there? I mean, that'll get me a quarter of the way there. But I gotta- She could get all the way there with that technique. Hot. That's a professional right there.

I like that. He knows what she wants, and that's the vomit. Nothing stands in her way. No, that seems horrible being bulimic. I wouldn't be able to enjoy my meal. You know that was coming. You'd enjoy it more. No, I would enjoy it less because I'd be like you'd enjoy it twice. You'd have dessert every night. Yes, you'd have an extra helping that would make it easier to throw up because you'd be so stuffed.

And need a palate cleanser, a little sherbert to make the, you make it come up nicely. That would be his getting into bulimia is like a man in my thirties like putting that forward, like in, in red pill health circles. Actually it's been given, it's been given a bad rap for many years. in red pill health circles. That'd be funny. Actually it's been given. It's been given a bad rap for many years. It's why I'm so jacked.

Interesting Robert. Yeah. That guy, there is something very funny about like just juice and TRT and steroids and then being like, it's because I fry things in tallow. And it's like, and it's like, bro, we can all admit the tallow thing is probably healthier. And we all know it tastes better. But like you're jacked. You're not jacked because of the tallow and butter. You're jacked because you're shooting.

You're like seven. Boys wish not jacked because of the tallow and butter. You're jacked because you're shooting. Physical boys wish you had this level of tea. Yeah. He doesn't have any of that old man just kind of wispy, flat, or flabbiness around his body. Now that I know that his wife is Cheryl, going back and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm is so funny. Because now I see her in his life and like they had that moment the other day I don't know if you saw it she was hocking candles or something on tiktok what's her name I want to google it Cheryl Hines okay um she was selling her candles and he's like showering in the bath she's in the bathroom and he's showering over her shoulder naked and like

her head is the only thing keeping him decent. And, uh, I'm just like, what, what are y'all doing? What are y'all doing? Are you using your husband as a thirst trap to sell tick-tock candles? Like it'd be funny if he literally didn't know she was filming. No, definitely. She's pretty awful. Voice. Oh, look at that picture. But, uh, I just definitely She's pretty But I just googled her as I guess She pretty she's not 19 anymore. She's 59. But yeah 60 year old gal she looks very good rated on a curb. She's getting an a-plus. Yeah, she's hilarious and curb your enthusiasm

She's she was Larry's wife enthusiasm. She was Larry's wife in the early seasons who divorces him and takes like half his money and then stays in his life to kind of mock him about it. It's fun. That's a good show. I can't watch the final season came out last year, maybe this year, early this year. Years almost over and Larry David's so old I can't watch anymore. Larry David's so old and his cameras are so good I can't watch anymore. He looks frail and like he looks so frail it reminds me of that Shane Gillis joke about how Biden's the first president that you could assassinate with a punch. I'm trying to get a good

Larry David 2024 picture. Yeah. It looks like I could assassinate Larry David with a punch. He's he fell like Leno did he'd be out. Did you see that fall Leno had? Yeah. Leno, like he fell down that grassy knoll. He fell down a grassy knoll. He had that, he had an eye patch on his,

his eye was so like badly swollen shut. He's been getting hurt lately. Didn't he burn his whole accident or something? Oh, multiple things. He burned his whole face off with, and then the shop, I think maybe a carburetor exploded in his face or something. And then he had that wreck you're talking about. And then recently he like fell down an embankment and face first, apparently.

And like the whole left side of his face was gruesomely blacked and blued damn Never liked that guy anywhere You know, really chill it up. No, he's kind of like listening to Stern and a few comics over the years Apparently he was like shitty to multiple people Isn't he the guy who like gave up half his salary so no one would get laid off during coded? I don't think he was working during covid.

Let me see what I'm I say, Leno. He's just from an era like just disconnected from mine. Like, I just don't think he's funny. I've never seen a clip from him. I'm like, oh, Jay, you've done it again. Like I was half right. I don't think he's funny. I've never seen a clip from him where I'm like, oh Jay, you've done it again. Like. I was half right. He took a 50% pay cut to keep his staff on,

but it was 2012. He was probably making $12 million a year or something. He was making 30 and it comes to 15. And he used that 15 million to say that no one would get laid off. Oh God. His car collection is sick though. And he seems, and that part of his life

seems really interesting. I like seeing this cool car collections. Assad, former president and dictator of Syria, left behind quite the car collection. I saw them driving around. He's got this indoor garage that you need a golf cart to tour. And it's like multiple of everything

he had like three PT cruisers and then like there's a Toyota like Highlander and like rare stuff and Utilitarian stuff and it'd be funny if like look I'm losing everything. I'm running from Syria in my McLaren Refuses to get on a plane. He's driving through Iran. Everyone can tell it's you, but bro, it's a McLaren. Yeah. With the multiples. Yeah. I don't know my cars anymore. I'm stuck in the past. Yeah. I don't either, but there's just a lot of cars. Yeah. I mean, that's a Chevy conversion van over there. You know what I mean? Like, like he's just, what I mean is he's got a little bit of everything

Yeah, it's like our collectors. This doesn't look like what I would imagine Jay Leno's car collection looks like Jay There's no way Jay Leno has like Packer vans He has I don't know what a packer van is he has old stuff like not everything he has He's gonna be everybody's favorite thing cuz I'll have like model tees and Corvettes and I don't think he has any Ferraris, but he has like Lamborghinis and cool stuff. He doesn't like Ferrari. Why? Ferrari has like a customer ranking or status.

So if you want to buy one of their better cars, they're like, no, no, no, no, you haven't ranked up yet. First you have to buy one of their better cars. They're like, no, no, no, no, you haven't ranked up yet. First, you have to buy like a California and then you can work your way up to a mid level Ferrari. And then if you buy enough cars from us, then we'll start selling you the cars that you actually want. And Jay Leno was like, yeah, fuck all that. Like, I'm not going to buy uninteresting Ferraris so that I can be one of your like favored customers. So he doesn't do it. Well, that is stupid. I wouldn't appreciate that either. It'd be like, really? Because Lamborghini is kind of letting me pick out what cars I want.

So I think I'm going to go to the Lamborghini store. Everybody but you will sell me cars in exchange for money. So I don't know what your business model is, but you can suck a dick. That's a really stupid business model. Cause there's no way Julino was like shrewdly hard ball negotiating them. Like he was like, what is this for?

Like, oh two million, here you go. Yeah, I bet he would, yeah. And so, anybody guys ready to rap? I'm ready for dinner. I think it's dinner time. Yeah, sure. All right, PKN 538.